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2017

14th August

Work on the next Reboot Season One episode is slow, which is odd because you'd think I'd be super SUPER eager to replace the infamous World Domination. I keep telling myself that its only criteria are: be better than the original (not exactly a high bar!) and make an ickle bit of sense. However I think in the back of my head I want it to be half decent, I don't wanna replace a confusing ridiculous piece of s*** with a bigger one.

And then again, part of my mind is telling the making excuses part; hurry the hell up, Season One is so close to the end. Disconnected needs fixing. Dimension Jump needs scrubbed off the face of the net. I HAD A RELEASE ORDER PLAN AND EVERYTHING, sheesh! Of course I (should) know better than to share what that plan was, when I've had so much luck sticking to them in the past. You only have to look at the Games Matrix mess for a recent example of my jinxing ofself.

But anyway, enough blab, update time.

Site Updates

Coming Soon has been updated with World Domination's progress. Memories of Fury's episode number's been fixed. I know I was tired when I updated the page last but pfft, ep 27 before 26? lol.

History: I updated the Episode Sizes page apparently on the 1st, but forgot to upload it. It'd been done now.

The episode "Interactions" had some edits done to it a few weeks back. A few problem scenes were edited down. It's not the first time this particular episode's had this done to it. Hopefully it'll be the last... until it's rebooted, ha

I briefly talked myself out of it and then back again; I've skipped "Too Q" in favour of "Fear" for the "Marill Re-Reads Season One" page. Why? Muse In Fear Haven basically. I have to accept that I'll eventually get to a point where I'll be like 20 Re-Reads ahead of my Reboot position (at least for now I'm stuck on a difficult for me episode I don't want to go back to, so it could be a while yet!), but for now I'd like to not release one for an episode not yet rebooted. That means Too Q will probably not show up till near the end of the year, but hey, I think it's the only real problem here.

It's okay, they're only silly reviews no one reads and I haz a plan. Planned release order hidden in easily seen still dark colours just in case I skimp as always; Reboot World Domination, Re-Reads WD (yes I did it, kinda), Memories of Fury, Re-Reads Prepare For Trouble, Tales of Voyager, Reboot Too Q (Too Good To Be A Q), Re-Reads Too Q, Reboot Voyager Live, Re-Reads VTV Live and Voyager's Drinking Game, Reboot Thrown Key Part 1 (Resistance Is Futile), Re-Reads Thrown Key Part 1. Yes I have to miss out a review for a bit, then its easily made up later with the Drinking Game/VTV merge which I'm still thinking about renaming.

Also in the Re-Reads I've had to edit the Year of Hell one since it had jokes about my recent problems that were painful to read a year later after it was written.

 

31st July

It's over half a year late. True with my story in the "26th July" entry below that's understandable, but I still feel pretty crappy about it. It's not surprising to me only that once I pushed past a certain part of the story, I blew through the rest of it in a single night, easy peasy. Oh well. It's done now.

New Episodes

Reboot Season Three, Episode 17: Diminished Fifth

Site Updates

Coming Soon has been updated.

History: Episode Log has been updated. The word count/size page will be updated at a later time. I finished the episode pretty late, and honestly I'm bedbound after this is uploaded.

The Reboot section has been updated, as well as the Season Three section.

 

29th July

Site Updates

Coming Soon has been updated.

"Fair Haven 2" has been added to "Marill Re-Reads Season One".

 

26th July

Will someone please tell me where July went? Please.

I think it's time to explain a few things to any regulars (hello if you exist) about this pretty uneventful year, for the site anyway. I honestly hate that I've fallen so behind, especially with how well I was doing the last few years. I usually go on and on, hopefully I don't do that here. Maybe I can explain what's been wrong that'll make sense without writing a novel I can't publish. Who knows. If it starts to get long, I'll move in to my rambling page.

SO, here goes.

Up until late April this year I've been living in a fairly abusive, fear ridden environment. My father has been suffering from dementia the last few years, escalating rapidly from November. Note he was a violent, forgetful, lying narcissist even in his healthy days, so imagine before November that most of his symptoms were early-FV style exaggerations of his actual self. Things truly started to get worse round about the time of the 4th December anniversary, which should give you an idea as to why I not only didn't celebrate it, I released an episode without the usual fanfare, let alone an anniversary one. The other episode planned for it is still unreleased nearly 8 months later.

From here you may think I'm saying far too much. I've reached the point where I don't really care who knows what I endured, or lack of. It feels "freeing" to say it actually. Okay. Before I get to the "good stuff", I'll give you an idea of the home environment I had late 2016, early this year. I had bolts on my living room and bedroom door fitted. That should give you a general picture. These bolts didn't help. They only made him more threatening, it flared his temper so much more. Plot twist; during a night terror I yanked open my bedroom door despite it being locked, the thing came right off the door, they wouldn't have helped AT ALL.

I spent New Years Day hiding in the living room, crying and alone, until his shouting made me run out the back door and walk into town when it was snowing and freezing.

Another day in I believe March, not sure, on a Sunday he accused me of stealing his keys (again) and locking him in the house. Threatened to break the door down. Once again, I ran out the back door in my pyjamas since it was still early. He then found his keys just as I was running off and gave chase. Summing this one up it ended up with me in a police station making a statement and spending a few days in hiding.

Got a letter from my landlords threatening court action and possible eviction due to arrears of just under £600. Be aware, this man loved to be in control of everything and yet didn't like paying bills. I paid him my share via a cheque, it was all he would take. Direct debits baffled him even in his good years. Add a forgetful disease to the mix and you get why this happened. The argument was when I knew, his threats were real and my fear of him was justified. If we weren't outside in full view of our neighbours, I really think he would have punched me.

Then Easter rolled around. It's no longer a holiday to me. It'll always be a reminder of the hell. The social worker in charge of our case decided to ignore both of our pleas for a nursing home, and instead chucked in four carers a day. Both of us felt imprisoned in our own home. We both hated the idea. This was the last straw for him. It was my fault, of course. He told every carer in his booming voice he thought I couldn't hear that I was abusing him. He'd be sunshine and rainbows with them. When they were gone he'd be complaining about them, hating me for it, even threatening to knock them out.

I tried to kill myself. Several times.

I was on anti-depressants for months which I never got used to. They put me in hospital once, I thought I was having a heart attack but it was anxiety. I stopped taking them cold turkey after the night I passed out and hit my head.

When I told the doctor about the suicide attempts, I wanted help after all, I was assigned a crisis team. Two days of my holidays were spent in a mental hospital. Not in the haha padded room malarkey, but in counselling sessions. Then they visited me at home, only to witness my dad "finally" staying true to his word and threatening the next carer who came, even though they weren't for him. I've seen two counsellors, two at the same time. Only one now.

The beginning of the end of this story; the crisis team arranged a meeting with the social worker, who victim blamed me most of the time "if he's so bad, why are you still living with him?" she says to someone who at the time had applied for 15 houses, seen 3 etc... When I got home I couldn't find my bread to make dinner for work the next day, he caught me looking for it, mumbling about not having any food. Next thing I know a coffee jar is flying across the kitchen and he's screaming at me. I hide in the living room again, sobbing, listening to him accuse me once more of abuse.

I haven't seen him since. That was 3 months ago.

For the next day he apparently left the house in a rage, was spotted by the social worker going to visit him about the meeting with me. My own father, wanted to kill me. Kill me, then kill himself. If I were not at work I wouldn't be here now. I don't doubt that he meant it. Everyone who knows him believe he would've carried it out.

One month in a mental institution, then moved to a nursing home at last.

I have my freedom and safety but it's come at a price. I have insomnia and when I do sleep I have nightmares/terrors. I'm on edge all the time. I'm exhausted 24/7.

So, there you have it. That's my 2017 story so far. I imagine no one cares but me that only a couple of episodes have been released this year, or is it three? I guess explaining this to you will help ease my anxiety over it. Just a tad. Anyway, I hope that all made some sense. There has been ickle progress on the writing front since the last update, so... check out Coming Soon. I intend to have an update by the end of the month. At this rate it may just be a Re-Reads but hey.

 

2nd July

Site Updates

Coming Soon has been updated.

Muse has been added to "Marill Re-Reads Season One".

The History section's been updated, specifically; Episode Size Rankings and Episode Log.

 

30th June

New Episodes

Reboot Season One, Episode 23: Muse In Fear Haven

 

28th June

Progress report only today. My writing focus has been all over the place, which is a bit of an issue when my writing moods are scarce and brief. Nutshell; I've been working on three episodes mostly at the same time. Coming Soon has the progress percentages, here I'll chat about them;

Muse In Fear Haven: The order of this episode's been changed around so much I've lost track. So many different files have been made for it so I can rearrange. It's a mess to say the least. I THINK I've gotten every scene I've edited/written but one into a single file in a preferred order, and that one's a WIP anyway, but you never know. This one's probably the one that'll be finished first, hopefully soon now that everything should be in one file. Muse wise I've only a few scenes left, Fair Haven 2's only got one little scene to edit in, and Fear's the one with a majority still to do. Thankfully out of the three Fear's the one that's only an edit job. Muse is a fresh start and Fair Haven 2's been mostly rewritten so far.

World Domination: I've written quite a bit of this but in the spirit of its original original, it's only a draft in a notebook. I hope this isn't a bad omen. It's difficult to say how far through it I am since it's all new, only the barebones concept of the original's draft.

Games Matrix Part 5 - Diminished Fifth: Good god, I dunno why this one's causing me so much grief. I hit a certain point in the story where some characters basically ask "what happened?" and it's not like they're exposition heavy scenes, it's more of a show not tell situation... which is 95% already written. So I really dunno why I'm having such difficulty getting past them. After that the episode should break free. So yeah the progress of this hasn't moved much, the difference here is like Muse, the order's been switched around a bit, which exactly like that has created scene extensions.

 

27th May

It's been far too many months of mainly downs, but finally there's a new episode. I did say that any Season One entries would be chucked straight into the backup folder and not released until I finished something else, however it's been far too long to worry about securing a safety net right now. I need to get back into the swing of things before I can do that. I probably will explain the situation that has ruined this year, and December of last, eventually but right now things are still uncertain. I must say though that at the time of writing this (hopefully no more than a week before the date of the update) that I had been worrying about getting this episode right as it's a sensitive subject which its original truly botched, even more so in the last few years. I do want to talk about it, but it could get long (what else is new).

First, Ill get the updates out of the way.

New Episodes

Reboot Season One, Episode 22: Upendi

Site Updates

Coming Soon has been updated.

It seemed only fitting; Upendi has been added to "Marill Re-Reads Season One". This is the other reason why I uploaded two reviews last time. I thought about timing the rest of the rereads with their reboot but Muse is next and that's been combined with two others, and not in the correct order. So I might do this with the ones that'll be rebooted alone (that leaves only Too Q, World Dom..lol, and Thrown Key). At the very least Upendi had to be the one to have its review released on the same day of its reboot, not only as a comparison but because even though I expected awfulness for only Part 1, it shocked me to the core. Anyhow.

The History section's been updated, specifically; Episode Size Rankings and Episode Log.

Banners for Muse In Fear Haven and World Domination have been created. You'll find them on the homepage.

Upendi was the final Season One episode, uploaded back in June 2001. Its point was at first to be a FV version, also known as a ripoff and/or parody, of the Lion King sequel Simba's Pride. A few things in that struck a chord with me, mainly the fact that the villains, exiled by the new king, were designed to be not only uglier but darker than their non-exiled counterparts. These mostly women were exiled for their actions and so IMO shouldn't have been so drastically different, except for maybe being thinner due to starvation. It got me thinking that I should change Upendi so it wasn't some silly parody, focus on that instead of exiled for siding with the ex-king, instead make it a "simple" tale of racism and my thoughts on the matter.

When I checked out the episode a few months back for its ReRead review I was shocked that the story I thought it told wasn't there, and it not only missed the mark but it looked like it wasn't even trying to hit it. It was a bit shocking to say the least. However as mentioned it was written a long time ago. I'm looking at it now with a different perspective, many different ones in fact. I'm older and wiser (though I'm still an idiot so it doesn't mean that much), I've seen a lot since and I've had my eyes opened many times. Which made rebooting this episode a big challenge for me.

I did not want to mess this up again. I wanted to tell the story I'm so very sure I intended to do back in 2001. I know that racism baffled me back then, but clearly I was still part of the problem with my ignorance (and judging by 3/4 of Upendi, my mindless typing away while hyper habit). Plus as it's not mid 2001 anymore there's an added pressure to make sure that in the process of telling that same story I don't offend. I mean yeah, my views on racism hasn't changed so the basics aren't the issue there. Putting it simply without hopefully spoiling too much (though if you know the original it should spoil nothing); the story does still have the oppressed aliens driven to the point that they're willing to attack ships and hold people hostage, solely at the whims of a leader who's far too angry to reason with. I'm concerned that people will see it as me saying "see, they're violent!" when that's not meant to be the point. Sure original Upendi did absolutely nothing to convince you otherwise of that, but I hope the reboot doesn't get to the end with people still thinking it.

I know I'm probably talking to myself and that's okay, I think I'm okay with it (I'm used to it lol), but I would not like for this version of Upendi to be an awful racist and sexist mess dirtying up Season One and the site for sixteen years just like its original. If I've mucked up I want to know. So yeah if you have an opinion on its message or anything, please feel free to contact me in the forums. Unless you disagree entirely with Upendi's intended point, in that case you might like the original and I'd probably not want to hear from you. Harsh but I've enough hate and horror in my life without having it in my own forum.

 

21st May

Okay, I'm not going to beat around the bush here. This year has been an absolute nightmare. Too much has happened to me especially in the last couple of months, suffice to say it's a bloody wonder I'm still around to even do this update. Make of that what you will. Because of everything I haven't been able to concentrate, and the rare moments where I have been in the mood to do some writing, my confidence is shot down by myself or something else happens. Right now I have no idea if the recent event will go in my favour or make matters even worse (if it does, unless I do something to save myself this could be a final update), but until I find that out I have some space and time to try and heal. A lot of people would likely advise me that trying to write while crap's still ongoing isn't the best idea, and normally I'd agree and that's why the site's been mostly inactive the last few months, but my falling behind is also contributing to the s$$$storm that is my existence at the moment.

If I don't try and catch up on my work it'll only get worse, as I'll get used to not writing the longer I don't do it. That is exactly what happened years ago and I really don't want that to happen again. I've tried my best but I'm not too confident. I really thought Reboot Season One would be finished this year, but what with everything that's happened (or not in FV's case) it'd be a miracle if I still did. Until things are settled, the backup system I've been using for years has been rescinded. I badly want episodes releasing. Until I'm confident that I can release something quickly after securing a backup, it's not worth doing.

Anyhow enough said, time for what's actually new:

Site Updates

Coming Soon has been updated with Upendi and at a stretch Diminished Fifth's progress.

"Fugitives" and "Dark Frontier" have been added to "Marill Re-Reads Season One". I know chucking two reviews online instead of one doesn't make up for the lack of updates, but it's a start :(

"Interactions" has had some edits made to it to tide it over until its reboot.

 

30th March

Slowly but surely (I think) I'm getting better. Life's so chaotic at the moment I'm afraid, writing is difficult. Instead I've been faffing about trying to get the site useable on mobile devices, and improve the look of the full version. I think there's still some work to be done. I'm hoping though that I can get back to normal as I'm falling behind on my plans.

Site Updates

As mentioned, a newish site design has been launched. The changes include:

The full version now uses images for its main menu like the mobile version does, I figured it would be easier to use and makes the site look a lot better.

The full version also has its own Episode Archive frame and menu like the mobile site.

The mobile version's menus have been tidied up so they look better and don't take up as much room as before, making it hopefully more suitable for anyone viewing the site on portrait. I tried to make a suitable design that'd be better for people holding their phones upright, neither tested well. Menus seemed to shrink, even the most minimalist of ones. Feedback and many tests showed the current version works better for some reason.

A few pages like Coming Soon, the Reboot episode lists have been redesigned to hopefully fit mobile devices better.

Coming Soon has been updated with the little progress made with Muse In Fear Haven.

History's "Website Designs" has been updated with the older version of this design.

The Characters page has been updated ever so slightly, nothing major.

"The Voyager Conspiracy" has been added to "Marill Re-Reads Season One". If I hadn't done it already accidentally, Test of Time's stats have also been updated now that the reviews have caught up.

 

27th February

Okay I'm still ill. The medication I was given to help gave me far too many side effects, I even ended up in hospital from them. I think I am getting better, and I hope that the two appointments tomorrow and Wednesday will give me some light at the end of the tunnel. There could easily be a train coming through it, but hey I need to be optimistic.

Worrying about the lack of updates even when I know I shouldn't, isn't helping. So I'll be unleashing what's in my backup folder to tide things over for now. I really didn't want to do it, but I feel this is the only way to ease one of my many worries while I try to focus on getting better. This is why the backup system exists, I just hope it doesn't set me back too much.

New Material

Reboot B4FV Season One, Episode 01: Caretaker Parts 6, 7 & 8

Site Updates

I've tried my best to clean up the Episode Archive so it's a little less confusing with all the reboots. My main concern though was making it more mobile (tablet/phone) friendly and so removing the tiny text. Unfortunately the site's still best viewed (or useable) on landscape. Since portrait's probably more common with phones it's an issue. If you've got any suggestions and whatnot for not just the Episode Archive's design but the whole mobile version of the site, please let me know in the usual haunts.

Coming Soon has barely been updated.

The usual History pages are up to date: Release Log and Size Rankings.

"Spirits" has been added to "Marill Re-Reads Season One".

Now my biggest issue with using a backup episode is replacing it. Two years ago I had difficulty replacing Worse Case Scenario 2 and ended up picking an easier but much later episode (Piece of Conspiracy), which really defeated the point of having a backup as I couldn't release it until the season had caught up. This time I won't let it be any later than Muse In Fear Haven, since that's had far more done than the next episode Upendi. It could be either of them. Diminished Fifth on the other hand should've been a 4th December episode and I want that up as soon as I've finished with it.

 

12th February

I can't seem to shake off this illness, either that or I keep catching a new flu virus once the old one starts to go away. I know it takes me a while to get going at the beginning of the year, but I'm still worried. I've written very little, it's tough to concentrate. All I feel the need to do is curl up on the sofa and mindlessly button mash a video game.

Coming Soon has the basic numbers for the little progress made, however I feel I need to go into a tad bit of detail:

Games Matrix Part 5/Diminished Fifth: Should be roughly half way through. I've been mostly jotting it down in a notebook so it'll need typing (the Coming Soon number will not be accurate as it measures file size). I know from the notebook material that the dialogue is a bit stiff(er) when exposition is being uttered, and that's probably why my interest/concentration has faded. It's a shame, the episode's fine, the plot's a-ok, everything fits into place. All GM5 needed to do was follow 2 episodes of ReBoot's plot, unlike the last three parts which generally needed to work around 4. It should be easy once I'm myself again. Then again...

Muse In Fear Haven: Whilst at work I couldn't sit on the sofa and play games, so to keep myself occupied I read through Season One. I've finished the re-reads now. It did convince me not to worry about rebooting Season One as episodes like Muse, Prepare For Trouble and even Thrown Key are crap anyway, I know I can do better... when I'm not ill anyway. Anyway I ended up jumping straight into this episode despite the next one being Upendi. Typically that was when Cold/Flu Number 3 started to rear its head and I only got as far as finishing the opening and merging a few Muse/Fair Haven scenes. It's got more than Upendi so it's SOMETHING.

The episode's more than ready to go and in theory shouldn't take long. Muse itself needs rewriting, no doubt there. Fear isn't actually that bad for a S1 entry, it needs editing like they all do. It should fit in with the others fine. Fair Haven 2 is nothing more than a subplot episode IMO, it'll work fine as exactly that with the Muse/Fear combo as the main story. Fair Haven also needs redoing in places, not to the extremes as Muse though. Good god was that terrible.

Upendi: Before I impulsively dove into Muse In Fear Haven I was considering delaying Games Matrix 5 for Upendi. The plan would mean the next episode to be released would actually be the current back up Caretaker Parts 6-8. Upendi itself would be the new backup. GM5 later would go up immediately once finished as this saga was meant to be done in November, worst case scenario 4th December *eye roll*. However all I've done of Upendi so far is a few lines and quite a lot of notes. The biggest issue with Upendi is I've stupidly got two basic story structures in my head for it. One being the original, the other is re-ordered to suit a gimmick. A gimmick I've done before. It doesn't matter either way, Upendi's biggest problem is the original really, REALLY failed at its intended point. Look at the synopsis on the homepage. None of that happens in the original, I thought it basically did. A lot of Upendi is unusable and you know what that means, more scenes written from scratch.

I'm honestly not sure which episode will be touched next. I want to do all three honestly. I'm tired though, very tired and I have to be frank here; my living arrangements, my work life, all of it is utter crap right now. Yeah my illness(es) are currently the forefront issue fogging my ickle brain, but I think it needed to be fogged after the crap that was all of December and New Year. Just a theory mind you. I could be talking nonsense, what else is new. Hopefully the next update will be good and not too far away.

 

16th January

Quick update today. I haven't had much luck lately, when I was finally starting to recover from my latest depression attack I caught the cold. No biggie, except that turned into the flu over the last week. I haven't slept more than a few hours since Tuesday, medication's made my brain far more foggy than usual. At least there's one positive thing about it, with my temperature spiking usually up I haven't been cold, and last week was supposedly freezing. Wouldn't have noticed if it were not for the snow and ice on the ground. I do miss lying down in a comfy bed and sleeping, I'd gladly take feeling cold again if I can do that again soon.

But anyway, point is writing's out. I know from the stupid re-reads I picked to do to pass time away at work, there's very little energy in the last few.

I hope recovery is soon as I felt very inspired to finish the final Games Matrix, as well as work on Upendi. Again you can thank the re-reads for the latter, yikes! I'm very eager to replace the latter half of Season One after my re-read spree. However today it's minor updates ahoy

Site Updates

"Timeline" has been added to "Marill Re-Reads Season One". Warning; it's long and rant heavy. It isn't the longest one though, just wait till you see Upendi's.

I've revised the Reboot page itself, I keep forgetting to do it everytime there's a new release.

Reboot Season One's listings has also been up to date thanks to the reviews giving me an idea what I need to do.

 

8th January

Hey anyone, I hope this new year is treating you well so far. As you may or may not know I've been having a hard time since late November, and so my work's been heavily affected. The biggest casualty was the Reboot of The Games Matrix stalling on Episode 4 out of 5, which really trampled on the 4th December anniversary. Still 2016 did have a lot of new material and plenty of milestones to boast about. Season Five was finally complete after 10 and a half long years, give or take 4-5 *cough*. Caretaker's Reboot was finished after a just as embarrassingly long six years. Reboot Season One grew from a measly on/off project to a growing healthy season like Five before it, with only eight episodes to go. The stray Monkey Island reboot gaps were filled in. Until my life crapped on me, The Games Matrix was coming along swimmingly and I was very pleased with it. Though to be fair, even with the a few lines every other day writing speed of episode 4 in December, Fourboding stomps on the original Games Matrix effortlessly and it's the weakest part.

Every year I pick a number of (full) episodes to aim for and write a Wish List with double the amount so there's flexibility. 2016's looks pretty sweet compared to 2015. Yeah 2015 definitely won on the word count front, and omg it had Dark Clouds, Closure and Untitled; three episodes I never thought I'd be able to write. Still though, the amount of ticks did make me feel a little better. I thought I'd get up to Upendi and I was only one episode off. 3/5 of The Games Matrix is still better than none. The best one is the Caretaker Part 3 box, labelled with asterisk's to tell me not to count it since it's not a full episode, only it ended up being so what with me finishing the whole thing a few months ago. That I plan to release next after The Games Matrix, or just next if the saga stalls again.

On that note, Fourboding got there in the end. Yeah I know, not that interesting news since I've done nothing but complain about it being the weakest entry. That is because the saga is a ripoff of something else, even with the reboot that hasn't changed, and Fourboding's source material was mostly unusable. I did eventually find a way to make some of the source material work for the episode, which helped get me in the mood to continue it, albeit slowly. On the bright side because of this the fifth and final part of the saga's had one hell of a head start. Fourboding didn't turn out as badly as I imagined, so please don't be put off by my complaining. Unless you're a newish reader that hasn't reached Season Three yet, heh. If you are, avoid, spoilers and plenty of them dwell inside.

New Episodes

Reboot Season Three, Episode 16: Fourboding

Site Updates

"Demon²" has been added to "Marill Re-Reads Season One".

New banner for Upendi added to the homepage.

All the usual History pages have been up to date with the new episode's release.


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