Last time on Marill Re-Reads "The Slayers"
"Softmicron. I'm gonna f$$$ you up!" the girl growled as she revved the kid size chainsaw.
The floating letters shivvered. "Oh s$$$, time for plan B," one shaped like a S said.
"Daddy, is that you?" she asked.
"Yeah sure kid, whatever," Inti replied
"Aren't you going to run out of... oh I wanna say a band beginning with A. Abba songs?" Tom asked.
"Who?" Morgan looked baffled.
"Sleeping with James helps me sleep," Jessie announced.
Danny tutted, "you mean literally and it hurts me."
"Hey Lilly, remember our drunk Uncle?" Third of James asked.
"Who?" Lilly looked baffled.
The viewscreen changed view, it showed a large purple sphere, and the two 8472 ships surrounding it. An anomaly had opened nearby, and more 8472 ships were coming out of it.
Morgan: OH BOY, EXPOSITION *DROOLS*
"But mum, the chosen slayers would have a difficult time winning this game. A run of a mill Slayer will have no chance," Morgan said.
"Who?" Kathryn looked baffled.
Tom: but my Chikorita's totally bitching, it knows Razor Leaf
The awayteam heard what sounded like the transporter. They all turned around to see Duncan.
"I don't know. It might be the Game adjusting the planet to suit the user's fantasies," Morgan replied.
"Daddy, I want a mummy," Talia said. Inti stood up.
"Seriously, what's the matter with you kid?" Inti grunted.
Talia narrowed her eyes, her finger twitched over a button. "You don't wanna f$$$ with me." Inti shivered in fear.
"You will do," Inti said.
"Who?" everyone looked baffled.
Into picked up Jessie without any resistance from her. She only rolled her eyes, "who else?"
Craig charged forward to hold James back, saving his life. Morgan helped a tad.
"Why are you acting so brave all of a sudden?" Harry asked.
"The question you should ask is how the hell is my kill count still only 2," James said.
And now the conclusion
Marill Re-Reads "The Slayers" Part 2
Before I begin I spotted that while part 1 has a written date of 14th October, part 2 also has 6/9th January on top of that.
I'll be whining a lot about the dates in the next one, so I'd best be prepared for once
Kiss of Death: 8th October 2001
Slayers Part 1: 15th October 2001
Slayers Part 2: last date written 9th January 2002, unknown release date
True Q so called release date according to archive: 10th January 2002
Halloween: 31st October 2001
Curse: 11th November 2001
Cause: 25th November 2001
YWF: 9th Dec 2001
Why oh Why: 13th Dec 2001
An Apple A Day: 19th Dec 2001
Bittersweet: 29th Jan 2002
I Know What etc: 22nd Jan 2002
To sum up S2's release order is:
1-11, 12.0, special, 14-18, 12.5/13 *shrug*, 20, 19, 21-29
jesus... and you thought S1 had a bizarre order. My irritation at S2's though will come apparent in the next one. The only thing worth noting in this one is Part 2 of this wasn't available/finished until (at least) 6 eps later - and it could be 1 more, as again I'll whine about in the next one.
but anyway, back to The Ripoff
"According to the tricorder, this stream goes straight into the crystal land, but the water hasn't changed to crystal," Craig said.
Convenient. I'd need to see the movie again to know for 100% certain instead of 99 that it's movie convenience tho.
James, Morgan, Faye and Craig started walking down the stream. The crystal land was only a few metres in front of them. A cold wind blew blast them as the crystal wave turned the land around them into crystal.
Honestly this would bother me if I wasn't already bored.
"We could go in that way," Morgan said. They all heard footsteps coming up behind them. They all turned around to see what was behind them.
Duncan, with Phrog, Chikorita and Marill following, was right behind them.
damnit it Marill, can't do anything right you useless little blob. anyway lets read what I've quoted.
WAIT, WTF! WHY IS DUNCAN STILL WITH THEM?????????????????????????????
"Duncan, do you like getting yourself into trouble?" James asked.
"He is just like his dad," Morgan said quietly as she looked at James.
heh, if it weren't a repeat, I'd be ohsnapping
"Our grass type Creatures can use their vine whips to pull us up," Morgan replied. Chikorita nodded at her. James and Faye got out at least one Creature Ball. James' Victreebell appeared, a second Victreebell and another Chikorita appeared. Everyone looked at Faye oddly.
Hey, why am I reading a deleted Season One reject again, someone remind me
oh forgot something that should've been quoted earlier
"He is just like his dad," Morgan said quietly as she looked at James. Faye and Craig came over. Craig picked Duncan up.
so I can quote this
James took Duncan off Craig.
"What?" Craig said questioningly.
"I don't trust you with him," James said. Craig pouted.
"At least I didn't leave him in the transporter room," Craig muttered.
He has a point
Who I'm referring to I'll leave that to your interpretation.
"I don't understand, mummy. Why are those people trying to get into our house?" Talia asked. Jessie seemed to come out of a trance and she got angry.
"James, what the hell are you doing!" she yelled. Talia looked at her strangely.
Ha, interesting trivia time that'll ruin what is a pretty in character/genuine good bit of this because Jessie's finally being overprotective like he is... I like to ruin things ok. Here it is. This scene isn't original either. In the film the "hero"'s mum is kidnapped by Entei, and so this bit was her snapping out of the brainwashing cos her kid's doing something reckless to save her. yeah I knew u'd like that
The five reached a large door covered in crystal.
"How the hell are we going to get past that?" Craig asked. Morgan walked over to it, she pushed it, it cracked. A few seconds later it sealed the crack. Morgan stepped back, and she turned to look at James.
"Little help," she said. James walked over to her. He put Duncan down. Morgan and James then pushed the door. It cracked and it broke open.
WHAT, THEY DIDN'T USE THEIR POKEMON, THEY ACTUALLY USED SLAYER TALENTS, IN "THE SLAYER". *FAINTS*
"Should I send them away?" Inti asked.
"No, I want to be in a Games Match. But, I don't think I'm old enough," Talia replied.
Welp, that was fun while it lasted
"You can be a Games Slayer, if that is what you wish," Inti said.
See, what did I ask earlier? Thought I was joking huh "what if a user makes themselves stronger than a chosen, what then?" I know this isn't what we're getting, but still, food for thought
Talia fell asleep on Jessie's arm. Inti disappeared in a flash of light.
Inti reappeared further up the staircase. Talia appeared on his back.
"Daddy, I don't think I'm old enough to be a Slayer," Talia said.
Kiara: hey, why haven't I been on a dangerous away mission in so long
Janeway: cos dear, you're an old fogey teen now. we gotta endanger much younger kids, preferably babies, thems the rules
Duncan: neer neer
Talia grew twelve years in a matter of seconds.
Ohnoes, what did I also tell you earlier disguised as a joke. Craig's the real chosen while James/Morgan are the decoys. This kid knows the chosen's weakness and she's gonna destroy him while he drools himself to death over the too young for him teenager. Morgan's not getting any younger.
gawd, i feel dirty after that joke. so sorry but not enough to delete yet
"You four are Slayers aren't you?" Talia asked.
"You took Jessie, now where is she!" James yelled. Talia glared angrily at him.
Good thing Inti's still on screen, this could get ugly fast. but then again with the most recent ones, it's not a guarantee
"I want to know where she is!" James yelled. Morgan gently placed her hand on his shoulder to try and calm him down.
I'd tell him to take a chill pill but lets see what Jessie's been subjected to over the season so far; almost blown up in a random deck explosion, stabbed in the back, chased by a ghost that wants to kill her, chased by Morgan possesed by said ghost, assaulted by simon, infected with a gruesome nanoprobe attaches to organ virus, stabbed while still infected, twisted ankle in shuttle crash, kidnapped by mummies for a suck the spirit and skin out of you ritual, was rescued but still got infected by it and started to melt, and now she's been kidnapped by a talking dues ex Pokemon who fakes his name to avoid controversy with an annoying catchphrase.
Yeah James is quite rightly pissed off. And spoilers, it's not over. Season 2 really hates Jessie, and James as he routinely fails at helping her every time. Even in Disconnected, which was the 1 example I can think of where he rescues her in time (sorry Resistance) but things escalate anyway and he dies as a result. And again, this isn't the last we'll see of it. I don't remember this one too well, so lets hope he can do it. doubtitcosthisis one of the few good storyarcs of s2.
oh and another matter, Morgan more than making up for the crap she pulled in resurrection
"I am this girl's father, as long as that is what she wishes," Inti said.
"If that is what she wishes..... are you Talia?" Morgan asked. Talia nodded.
"I thought she was only five or something," Craig said quietly.
"Think about it Craig, the user can do anything he or she wants here," Morgan said.
"Who bloody cares, I want to know where Jessie is!" James yelled.
ok now I'm gonnna say "take a chill pill"
but then again I know chill pills don't work(well). then again all I have are the herbals
"If you're talking about the woman who is Talia's mother, she's in a place where you can't reach her," Inti said.
"Jessie's not Talia's mother, she's Duncan's mother," Morgan said. Faye passed her a puzzled look.
Sheesh Morgan, was the Duncan bit really necessary. Forced reveal much. Jessie's not Talia's mother would've done
After a few seconds the light faded away. Everyone uncovered their eyes and they all noticed that they were in a large forest. Talia, Inti & Duncan had disappeared
no full stop, Duncan has gone too. craps gonna hit the fan
"Ohno, where's Duncan?" James asked.
Talia rematerialised in front of them all.
"He's none of your concern. My brother has been taken back to my mother," Talia said.
Ooops, good job Morgan, I told you
Enjoy "Saturday Night James" Inti, *cracks knuckles, orders popcorn* dis gonna be fun
"What kind of battle should we have, daddy?" Talia asked. Inti turned to her.
"You should start with the easiest first," Inti replied and he disappeared.
TURN BASED RPG, JAMES USES FURY, IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE, GAME OVER MAN, GAME OVER
I'm close of course, the easiest is a Pokemon match. Might as well get this crap out of the way first, cos I think this is the last one. or at least the last episode with one.
so so called Game Slayer Morgan sends out a part flying type against the overpowered evo of Pikachu, an electric rat, and I'm forced to write an apology to Tani for calling her the stupidest game cube player in the history of everything.
Since this is the user of a sphere, the Raichu is level 200 (which isn't fing necessary, it's a a flying type god) to ko Morgan's super sue mon.
meanwhile James has gone off screen, slaughtered Inti, and is now chilling with Jessie and Duncan back at the town.
"I guess you just wished for it to be strong," Morgan said.
"Yes, that's right," Talia said.
"That isn't fair. Real Slayers train hard with their Creatures to make them strong," James said.
and why do I feel like that's a copied line. It's as much of a James line as the "wah losing Jessie is scariest thing ever". Inti: challenge accepted *kidnaps Duncan*
it's also very, painful. whoever would get this I'd mentally slap anyway. you were warned about this. sphere's are not fair, that's the point. they're hard, only chosens can win. payattention
"But that's the only way the Slayer can show them that they care about them. If y
OKAY ASH/MISTY/BROCK, WHATEVER YOU SAY,ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
"You are staying here for as long as Talia wishes you to be here," Inti said.
"But what about Duncan, what's he doing here?" Jessie asked.
"Talia wished for a brother, so I gave her one," Inti replied.
I don't remember that, I'M ONTO YOU ENTI
AGAIN, WELL DONE MORGAN. DON'T ANNOUNCE THAT ONE OF THE SLAYERS HAS A KID IN THE GAME, ROOKIE MISTAKE... NO WAIT, CHARIZARD V RAICHU'S A ROOKIE MISTAKE. CARRY ON YOU MORON
"It makes perfect sense. Talia was chosen to be this Game's user, so whatever she wishes for she will get," Inti replied.
"If that's the case why didn't you just create her mother and brother, instead of kidnapping me and Duncan?" Jessie asked.
Hmm yes, why is that
"Don't question me, it's not in my contract," Inti replied.
ER UM, IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WISH
"I was just brought here by the Softmicron to be Talia's father, and that is all. If she wishes to have her real father here then I will leave," Inti replied.
Ok good, there are morons everywhere. Why would the villain give away the game so easily
"What the hell is the Softmicron?" Jessie asked.
"They are the beings who control most of the Games in this Universe. They mostly aim to eradicate all rivals, and take over the Universe," Inti replied.
Only most of them?
"Sounds a lot like Microsoft," Jessie muttered.
SHHHHHHHHHHHHH, THEY'LL CRACK MY INGENIUS CODE
Meanwhile at Raichu's House (January 2002):
"Crap, why are all those police cars outside?" Raichu asked as she stood near her bedroom window. Marill swallowed hard and she quickly closed Web Express, and the window with this episode on.
Meanwhile in a totally different century, like that makes sense. FANFICDIMENSIONS
"Er, another good point. What's that sound? It sounds like my mobile," Marill stuttered, she pulled out her mobile phone from her Pikachu bag, and she pretended to answer it. "
OH BLESS, I still have that bag. I should use it sometime(it's too small OKAY)...I WANT A MARILL ONE
Raichu glanced at the computer, and she grinned evilly.
"Worked like a charm. She's left the disk with the episode on, with me, so I'll get to finish it," Raichu said.
What's a disk?
And hey if this were true I'm all for it. I'm bored to tears
"The last time you wrote an episode without me it turned out to be the second or third shortest episode in Fifth Voyager history," Marill said.
"Hmm, yeah, and it turned out to be the most popular one on fanfiction.net," Raichu said as she looked smug.
what? I'm just as confused as you
it's probably Too Q
Hunters popular, lawl
"Too Q had Q in it, that's why. I bet True Q will be just as popular," Marill said.
"Yeah, if you ever get to finish it," Raichu sniggered. It was Marill's turn to look smug.
"I finished True Q yesterday for your information," Marill said. Raichu collapsed, and died of a heartattack. Magically she came back to life again.
Oh please oh please, don't get me again started on True Q's release date(s). There's enough twaddle in this one as it is
"I don't know why we're here anyway. All the scenes before this were written in October, this bit onwards is being written in January at my place so the disk problem doesn't happen again," Marill pointed out.
YAY, NOW WE KNOW WHEN THE EPISODE STOPPED BEING WRITTEN AND WAS RESTA...IDON'TCARE
It's Bittersweet's I wanna know, that one still hurts
"So how do you suggest we get out, we can't write the episode until we get to your place?" Raichu asked.
"I got an idea," Marill said, she quickly typed something on the computer.
Back on S'Tarui:
Talia, and the awayteam were just standing around doing nothing since nobody was writing anything. Suddenly Marill and Raichu appeared.
Yeah, this is exactly what The Slayers needed, more annoying Season One style crap. POKEMON, WRITERS, OOCNESS... if it weren't for James' angry screaming at the Inti (but no garbagegif I noticed, so we're halfway there), I'd be confusing this for an actual Season One entry. I can't wait for the Team Rocket motto to make its comeback........ do I need to explain that was sarcasm
"What about the episode?" Raichu asked.
"Er, oh dear. I take that back," Marill replied.
A man's voice filled the entire Fifth Voyager universe. "Now Fifth Voyager is owned by Durham's Police Department. Resistance is futile, bwahahahaha."
I... I got nothing
I'm actually missing the Pokemon battles. This is depressing
"Why would they write it, this is so unrealistic," Faye muttered.
LOL the Marill alter ego says this. the irony
"Aren't we forgetting something?" Marill asked.
"Yeah, we've forgotten it so many times before," Raichu replied.
"What, you're brain?" James asked.
OUCH, IRONY HAS OHSNAPPED US ALL IN THE FACE
you are brain... THANKS JAMES, YOUR SO SWEET
god that hurt
"You can talk, I wish I could do something to you," Raichu growled.
"No you don't, it's not H's character's fault that Steps broke up," Marill said.
oh, IS THAT WHY THE EPISODE HAD TO SAY "THIS IS NOW JANUARY, NOT OCTOBER SUCKERS" And here I thought Bittersweet was thee one.
and pssst, no it isn't, but you're close. nice little spoiler for the future you idiot writers
The Team Rocket music started after the director finally got the VERY dusty tape in the right place.
Oh come on, I knew this was coming without remembering it did, you should too
Tip, throw the cassette tape away, throw the whole player away.
"I don't like this motto!" Raichu yelled.
"I changed it in True Q, we can't use it in this episode," Marill said.
Oh fun, we got another one to look forward to
I wonder which Newcastle bridge would be the easiest to jump off.
"Are you quite finished? This IS suppose to be a dramatic scene," Morgan asked.
"You'll get enough attempted drama in the next episode, I should know," Marill said.
This is why I have general anxiety disorder folks. this crap right here. IHATEME
"I've had enough!" Talia exclaimed suddenly. She raised her arms into the air. Water suddenly flooded the entire room. Everyone but Talia struggled to hold their breath. Everyone thought they were going to die, until they all realised that they could breathe.
"What, this isn't possible," Marill said.
"Yeah, this is too much like that Pokémon movie," Raichu muttered.
Yeah, so what was the point of that. darn tantrumy kids
"No, you idiot. Why is this episode continuing like this. Why would the police write something like this?" Marill asked.
Are we really humouring this dumbass joke.sigh the fact that I asked that is very dumb on my part, and the evidence must be preserved
About five young police officers had their backs to the computer. They were facing some strange, yet cute small alien creatures.
"Aaw, can I keep them?" one police officer asked.
Oh... we're not? I take it back, it's still dumb but not as dumb
Still dumb remember. this is meant to be the 3rd dimension after all where this is taking place, remember this
One of the creatures's eyes glowed, and turned blue. All of the police officers heard a strange voice in their heads. The voice could only be described as cute and squeaky.
"We are the Softmicron. You are disrupting our first episode, so take a hike," the voice said.
I'm actually not sure how I'm going to reboot this one. Sitting in between two very easy ones, True Q and Death, might make it easier when this takes six months to rewrite. see you for the 30th fv anniversary in 2030 folks
"Why does every alien species assume we're cute? We're the most dangerous species in the galaxy. We'll teach you," the voice said. All of the creatures glowed, and the five officers disintergrated. "Now we can have our own way with this episode," the voice said.
spoilers; they never do this again, or have fourth wall control... if they did, ohgods
"If I remember right, this looks like a Water Battle," Morgan said.
A battle with water. thanks Morgan, what would we do without your brilliant insight *thumbs up*
Inti reappeared beside Talia. "I will send them away, if that is what you wish," he said.
"Daddy no, I wanted to be in Games matches," Talia said.
"If that is what you wish," Inti said.
Talia: STOP SAYING "IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WISH"
Inti: *convulses* IF THAT...UM, YOU WANT, YOU...WISH *head explodes*
"If I beat you at every kind of Games match there is, you will leave," Talia said.
Everyone: Sure, why not, it's not like this is life or death or anything
"No, I've only heard of them. I know the rules, so I could have a go," Morgan replied.
"I'll fight," Faye said suddenly.
"Well, erm, in the original plot you guys use the battle as a distraction," Raichu whispered.
"What are we suppose to do?" Craig asked.
"Well duh, the staircase that appeared earlier, hint hint" Marill replied.
The Love Spell's quaking in its Last Place boots right now, I tell ya
Resistance meanwhile is ashamed to be in this family and is saving up to move out
Talia raised her arms slightly again. A knife appeared in each hand. She pushed one of them over Faye's way. It eventually got over to her, and she took a hold of it. The battle started.
Wait, this isn't a Pokemon match. Faye's volunteered and its a knife battle
Morgan came back to him. "What are you waiting for?" she asked angrily.
"I never learned how to swim," James replied quietly.
Ho yeah, this. Dunno why I did this to him
I either went mad with the give James some flaws to counteract his too good to be in this series, or was really scraping the bottom of the bag for things that'd make Morgan look better than him.
"Neither did I and I'm doing ok. It comes naturally to me for some reason, come on,"
I'm going to go with the latter, just a feeling, no evidence at all, no sireee
PS: Morgan the Sue Count: 1
She started to swim after the others, dragging James with her. "Just copy of me. I mean, I have an excuse, I lived on a Borg cube all my life," Morgan muttered.
Morgan the Sue Count: 10
F*** this malarky. James deserves much better than all this disrespect. Enjoy True Q Morgan, you'll love it I promise *snicker*
Meanwhile, Talia was winning the match. She knocked Faye to the ground, and she got ready to finish the match. She hesitated, and she looked over towards Inti. He nodded his head slightly.
Talia backed away from Faye. "We'll just call that a win on my part," she said. Faye was too tired, and hurt to move very much. Talia felt guilty, and she swam back over to Faye.
I'm still reeling from the fact that the ep chose Faye, Marill's nonwriter avatar/self insert, to take part in the first fight scene in the game minus Pokemon, armed with a knife. I bet James really does know how to swim, he was just wondering "wtf was this chump picked to do a speciality battle like that." He'd beat that uppity brat in 2 seconds. Don't bring a James to a knife fight, ask the Interactions dude. OH WAIT YOU CAN'T, HE'S DEAD
Anyway blahblah Talia grows a conscience blahblah kids are sociopaths blah
"Er, guys," Tani stuttered. Triah and Harry rushed over to Tani's side. "We've got more problems," Tani said. The crystal wave was only a few metres away from them.
"We have to get out, now!" Harry exclaimed. They ran towards the doors, everyone who saw them quickly followed.
Everyone got as far away from the building as possible. The crystal wave collided with the building, and crystal quickly covered the entire building. Everyone but the rest of the awayteam ran away from the upcoming crystal wave.
While I praised The Slayers for giving us a potential reason for the crystal wave consuming the planet, while the movie it was a sideeffect of Entei/Unown *shrug*, it occurs to me that Talia hasn't really expressed a wish for a planet made of crystal. The previous explanation was a guess, a good guess but not accurate cos this ep's a load of bull. It's barely an obstacle, so not buying it.
Tani was lost in thought. Suddenly she perked up. "I got it!" she suddenly yelled. Triah and Harry looked her way. Tani brought out 2 Creature Balls, and she dropped them on the ground. Her Staryu & Starmie appeared.
I'm bored of all this Pokemon solve everything Marill can't be bothered to write solutions for crap. This is gonna get double points in the negative list
They found themselves in a large hallway. They immediately spotted another crystal staircase straight ahead.
Talia and Inti appeared in front of them.
What's next, a taking out the garbage competition. GO CRAIG, FULFILL YOUR DESTINY
Or maybe a stay in character and not lose your rag so much contest, James is the man for the job
Yeah I'm no good at this, I'm tired. Maybe a competition to see who is the most perfect. Talia might have her work cut out forher against Morgan. Best choose James again.
There was a brief flash of light as four copies of Talia appeared. The real Talia reopened her eyes. "How about a 5 on 5 Games Hunt," she said.
GO CRAIG. WE BELIEVE IN YOU
"But Hunts don't end until the other team has been killed," Morgan said.
"I think we can make an exception," Inti said.
Why? I know the episode's excuse why, I want to know why Inti would be the one to make this exception. Talia might wish for it, but Inti decides this on its own, he's part of the game, these people are trying to stop it. WHY, and WHY DID HE TELL JESSIE HOW TO END IT
Talia smiled, and she snapped her fingers. Suddenly the entire room turned into a large and beautiful forest. Everyone disappeared. The awayteam and the writers appeared on their own in the middle of the 'forest'.
Oh yeah the writers. forgot. GO WRITERS, GO HUNT, WE BELIEVE IN YOU
"What do we do now?" James asked.
Why the f$$$ are YOU asking this? Death Hunt Match babeh, you're in your element, go empty the trash
"Oh come on, I thought the writers would know best, since they did plan the episode," Morgan moaned.
"Well, erm, we lost the original plot so we were just making it up as we went along," Raichu said.
WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED
"So, originally did you plan what was actually on the next level of this place?" Craig asked.
"If I remember right it should lead to where Inti usually hides out," Marill said.
I'd trust Marill's memory as far as I can trust Marill's memo...throw it, cough
"No, if I'm not sure I always say 'if I remember right' or 'I think'. Besides, the original plot followed a similar storyline to the 3rd Pokémon movie, I know that film well," Marill replied.
ANYWAY, THAT'S A GOD DAMN LIE. I DON'T TALK LIKE THAT
So is knowing the god damn 3rd movie well. I don't.
"As much as you know The Mummy Returns and nearly every single Pokémon episode?" Raichu said questioningly.
"No, of course not. I've only had the video for a month," Marill replied.
"Er, you did mean that you've had the Mummy Returns for that long," Raichu said.
"Yeah, of course. If I had it longer I would know it line by line," Marill said.
STAY TUNED FOR THE RESURRECTION RETURNS, WITH MORE COPYCAT LINES AND WEIRD RELATIONSHIP DRAMA, COMING 2002
"We're wasting time, lets get going," Morgan said, and she walked away. Marill and Raichu paired up. Craig immediately followed Morgan. Raichu dragged James with her and Marill.
Raichu, nice. Doing what superpowered magic user mummies couldn't do; move James. Fffs even Morgan struggles to drag him, unless its underwater. Add onto the fact that he's super pissed off and we've seen how he acts when he's like this (ask Annika), AND has been told where Jessie and Duncan could be, the odds of Raichu dragging him anywhere is the same as Marill settling down with four kids. not bloody likely.
"Why didn't you let him go with Morgan and Craig?" Marill asked.
Raichu let go of James' arm. "God he's heavy," she muttered.
Apparently not that heavy. It's a funny thing to gripe about I know, it's just I know it's one of his running gags (thanks Resurrection *eyeroll*), too stubborn and I suppose well built (and Slayery) to be controlled/pushed around. There's frequent he's heavy/"jesus what are you made of" quips all throughout the series. I'm extra picky since Morgan dragged him up through bloody water of all things, while berating him for not instinctually learning to swim right then and there like the Super Sue can. I guess I'm super sensitive like that
BUT ANYWAY, the reason for the writers stealing James away like they would if they forgot their keys
She turned to Marill. "Hey we need somebody to fight the Talia clones. I can't be bothered to fight, and I doubt you could," Raichu said.
Haha icy burn Raichu, and sosotrue. I can't even beat up myself. I have tried
Probably the only smart thing any writer has done tbh
Though I am surprised they've remembered James is more than perfectly capable in these situations, what with the way he's been treated. yeahnotbitter
"Besides, I want to take that Steps breakup rage on him," Raichu said and she smiled evilly.
"I thought you can't be bothered to fight," Marill said.
"Hey, I can still be bothered to hit someone," Raichu said.
See what I mean
Is James getting all this grief because of the Steps split? Good lord. I don't remember Morgan and Craig getting this treatment. Or Jessie, and she's been kidnapped. Don't worry M/C, your time will come...... no not really, I can separate Morgan and Craig from their so called actors. THANKFULLY... though tell that to my banners
Also he's right there, listening to this and not saying anything. This is so ooc for any era version of him.
AND LOL RAICHU, do you really think he's going to be ok with you hitting him. He doesn't really discriminate against women anyway, ask Annika and Tani
pfft I was wrong about one thing;
"Speaking of which, where did he go?" Marill asked as she looked around.
Yeah I'm more than ok with this. This is exactly what I'd expect him to do. I wouldn't want to put up with this s$$$ either
"Oh how cute, what are they?" Triah asked. Harry turned to see what she was looking at.
In front of them were the small cute aliens. There were about 20 of them. They were all making squeaky noises that sounded like they were saying, "tockee," and "preehee." (Pokémon fans: Does that sound familiar?)
Oh sheesh. Weren't they described during the police melting scene? Nope. Weird
All of the creatures' eyes glowed. Harry, Triah and Tani heard the squeaky cute voice in their heads.
"We are the Softmicrons. You have violated our territory, prepare to die," the voice said.
"How come it's always the cute ones who think they're evil?" Tani asked.
"We don't think we are, we are evil. We have murdered millions of people, destroyed thousands of homeworlds with our Game Cubes. The Borg and the Bioan are like little flies compared to us," the voice said.
WHO THE F$$$ ARE THE BIOAN
"The species you know as Species 8472, obviously," the voice said.
"Oh my god, I've just realised something!" Tani exclaimed suddenly.
"What?" Harry asked.
"I already have one of these," Tani replied. She got out a Creature Ball. Togepi came out of it.
SCRATCH WHAT I SAID EARLIER, TANI'S STILL THE BIGGEST MORON. MORGAN'S JUST A CLOSE SECOND
And yes this is happening. The half arsed last minute twist in Season Four wasn't really that last minute, it's was more of a forgotten for 2 seasons and hurriedly mentioned again moment.
I'll get into that later. Lets continue
"This is one of our young! You will be destroyed!" the voice said.
Triah, Harry and Tani watched as all of the creatures, excluding Togepi, glowed and grew. The three of them looked up to see scary looking dragon things instead of the cute creatures. They were about 12 foot tall, and they were all sorts of different colours.
Are they actually dragons or dragons the way Charizard is a dragon, ie not, but a fire bird. What, they're not described as Dragonites, there are no other dragons in 2001.
"No, we can't leave Togee here!" she exclaimed.
"It's one of those things Tani, I'm sure it'll be fine. But we won't be if we stay here!" Harry yelled as he dragged Tani along with him.
Again, Tani's an utter moron.
Although these eggs can shapeshift into dragons, so it could be a trick. If it were they wouldn't be so offended about being called cute. nm
Marill and Raichu looked at each other nervously. They slowly looked towards the ground. Another one of those creatures was standing at their feet.
"Uhoh, not one of these things," Marill muttered.
"Finally, somebody who fears me in my original form," the voice said.
B$$$ please, I created you
They both lost it in a matter of minutes but they ran into something else, literally.
"Ow, watch where you're going," Raichu muttered.
"Me, you were the ones running," James said.
Ah we've remembered the gag have we? A little disappointed he's still stuck with them
"Finding the staircase, which I did do," James replied.
"So why are you still here?" Raichu asked.
James: I was looking for the wheelie bins. There's nothing around here big enough to fit Inti in, so I may have to cut him up a bit
Marill: Lol taking out the garbage, so clever
"Well first I ran into one of those things that Tani has, a Togepi or something. Then all of a sudden a dragon thing was there," James replied.
"It's a Softmicron, and we ran into one too," Raichu said.
And? Has the dragon been divided into bits, some discreetly hidden between cardboard in the recycle bin?
"Well if I remember the way back to the staircase, we can go back, and hope whatever it was is gone," James said.
"It will be," Marill said.
"Why's that?" James asked.
"Hey, I should know my own show better than you. It will be gone," Marill replied.
The creature was still in front of the staircase when the three arrived.
"Well, you know your show very well," James said sarcastically.
lol James, you're my favourite. everyone knows it
"Raichu, remind me to do something horrible to him in the next episode," Marill muttered.
"The next episode is True Q, and you've already written that," Raichu pointed out.
Yeah but have I finished it? THAT'S THE TRUE (Q) QUESTION
"I meant the more recent ones, for example 'Bittersweet'," Marill muttered.
OH IS THAT WHY THAT THING(tm) HAPPENED?
(what did Jessie do, or rather what is she gonna do? Jesus please don't tell me Bittersweet's plot was messed with in order to punish these two for Steps splitting. PLEASE)
"Maybe if there's just the one, we can battle it," James said, he tried to ignore what the writers said.
I know he says battle it, which is only used in Pokemon context (plus he says we, and the image of Marill and Raichu in a fight scene is hilarious), but I'm still gonna count it
Boring boring, writers bring out Pokemon we've seen before in the ep. It's not like there's 300 or so at this point in the series or anything. nah
"They should. C, fire blast!" Raichu ordered. Charizard, or C did as it was told, after briefly hesitating. The dragon thing used a similar attack to block the blast.
"C, very creative," James muttered.
"It's better than your actors nickname," Marill said.
"Ohno, Steps broke up!" Raichu yelled, and she broke down again.
REALLY THAT'S NEW INFORMATION
And heh, James keep on snarking. I know it's not even that clever for him, it doesn't need to be and that's why it's funny. Writers deserve ridicule
"Aqua, quickly Ice Beam!" Marill ordered. Marill, or Aqua, fired an Ice Beam towards the dragon. It froze in it's tracks.
"Aqua split up too, how come you didn't break down like Raichu did?" James asked.
give it time James, give it oh... 17 years. She'll break down over something A related, I promise you, JUST BE PATIENT
nothing else happens but more band talk and James pointing out things. next scene; Harry and co bump into another dragon
"Run away!" Tani screamed and she did just that. Triah and Harry quickly followed her.
Well that was riveting
"I must say that Talia mustn't be very good at this Hunt, she still hasn't found us," Craig said.
"No, something else must be up, I can feel it," Morgan muttered.
OF COURSE YOU DO MORGAN
"Why should I leave here? I'm happy here," Talia asked.
"Well, this planet is covered by a Game Cube. People will die if it doesn't leave. If you leave the mansion willingly the game will leave," Jessie replied.
"And then I'll be alone again," Talia muttered.
I know this is a 5 year old kid but WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Fortunately Jessie is more diplomatic than I am... which is worrying
"It's either that or millions of people will die. I know I wouldn't be able to live with that," Jessie said.
"You're my mother, how can you say something like that," Talia said and she started to cry.
"Talia, I'm not your mother," Jessie said.
Can you see Season One Jessie talking to this kid? Timeless "randomly" springs to mind, shudder
So yeah stop whimpering Talia, this isn't Jessie being mean. She's not yelling at you cos she can't get to her clothes and makeup on Voyager. Sttop being such a selfish brat...
Once more Marill proves she's not mum material. YAY
Talia and Jessie heard a banging noise coming from the crystal like wall. Jessie got off the bed and she headed over to the source. She and Talia heard some commotion coming from the other side of the wall. Then it started shaking. Jessie backed away from it.
Suddenly a hole was blasted through the wall. Once the cloud of dust cleared, whoever was on the other side came through the hole in the wall.
Jessie: wtf is a giant pitcher of red juice doing here?
Marill turned back the way she came, with a Creature ball in her hand. C walked through the hole and it stopped. "Good work, C, return," Marill said. C went back into it's ball.
Okay so, if the writers hadn't shown up, would James have been stuck on the other side waiting for Morgan? Why wasn't it Morgan who saved the day? Why am I bothered?
"Right," Jessie said. She headed over to Duncan, she shook him lightly to wake him up. She then turned to Talia. "Talia, we have to go," she said.
Talia shook her head and she backed further away from everyone. "No, no!" she cried.
WELL THAT WASN'T A VERY SMART THING TO DO
"Mummy's going to leave with those people," Talia replied. She continued to cry.
Crystal started shooting through the ground around Jessie & Duncan. The crystal grew to be up to eight foot tall, there was no way out.
Inti turned to the others. "Leave this place, or I'll force you out," Inti said forcefully.
Marill: WAIT, I gotta toss this coin to find out if you're useless or not.
James turned to Marill and Raichu. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" he asked them.
Marill: WOOHOO GARBAGE TAKING
yeah probably, if this was 2018 Marill. It's not, it's 2001 Marill so it could go either way.
"I don't think so somehow," Marill muttered. Raichu rolled her eyes.
Wait does this mean I called it. Yay, Inti beating time
No of course not. It's Inti versus Arbok, Victreebell(HA, James has joined the moron club again), Charizard, Marill, Pikachu and another Victreebell. Soooooo only Writer-Marill picks something that is strong to Inti? Oh god my head hurts at the implication
As usual Raichu's Victreebell chomped her. As soon as she got out she stared angrily at James.
"Why doesn't yours do that anymore," Raichu moaned.
James shrugged in response. "I dunno," he said.
Yeah Victreebell isn't an idiot. Besides James has enough unwanted sexual harrassment, best not add Victree to the list
"Kobra, use your fissure! Victreebell, use solar beam!" James commanded.
"Victreea, use your solar beam too! Sparkle, Thunder! " Raichu commanded.
"C, Flamethrower! Aqua, Whirlpool!" Marill commanded.
FISSURE? OH BOY, THAT TAKES ME BACK... so far I don't remember what it does, and I'm not sure if I'm mistaking it for the one move THAT NEVER F$$^t£^% HITS.
FYI Marill, well done for proving you weren't the only competant one there after all by picking Whirlpool for your strongest move. I was getting very worried
"You can't beat me," Inti said. He fired a blue beam towards all of the attacks. They collided with each other, but the original attacks backfired and hit the defenceless Creatures. All of them got knocked unconscious.
Okay Inti is beginning to warm to me for "some reason". Can't think why. Then we move to another scene while I assume James prepares a few bin liners off screen (please)
"Ok, I'm off," Tani said and she turned to leave. Triah took a hold of her arm and she dragged her with her and Harry. As far as the three could see, there were about 12 Softmicron surrounding Morgan & Craig.
"What should we do?" Morgan was asking.
"Erm, is this a good time to say last words?" Craig replied.
Ohno, The Slayers is bad enough thanks, we don't need Resurrection's problems leaking in
Togee was standing in front of it waving it's little arms back and forth. All of the Voyager crewmembers panicked, this scene looked familiar. Togee stopped waving it's arms when they started to glow. The Voyager crewmembers felt themselves dematerialising.
Oh I see where this is going.
"Damn, I wish I was brave," Marill stuttered and she ran away.
Raichu shook her head. "She's always the coward," she muttered.
I can't believe I'm gonna defend myself here but... Inti's about to fire a flaming ball in our faces. Of course I'm gonna run, anyone would. That's not cowardice, it's common sense
Inti fired his beam, luckily it was only a warning shot. Raichu looked shocked as she felt the bottom of her hair that lay on her shoulders. "You bloody burnt my hair! You b******!" she yelled. She started storming over to Inti, but he got ready to fire again. She stopped in her tracks. "Er... never mind," she stuttered and she ran off in Marill's direction.
Uh, when I said anyone would. I never counted on Raichu's talent for being a moron. This is going to be tough, picking the biggest moron of The Slayers. There's so many canditates
"Hey! Don't leave me here on my own!" James yelled after them.
"I'm sure you can handle it!" Marill yelled back from her hiding place.
At...least I ... have faith.. in him????????*twitch*
Why is he standing there, waiting for the attack when fricking Marill knew to run.
Why is he whinging about the writers running off, full stop
But in a less serious note, why is he whinging about the writers running off, what does he expect them to do to help? They've proved they have no influence in the story
Why is James so wildly inconsistent in this one? Remember earlier when he was pissed to hell with Inti? We know that he loses all reason when he's mad, and yet again I ask WHY IS HE STANDING THERE IN BETWEEN INTI'S FIREBALL CHARGING. TAKE OUT THE GOD DAMN RUBBISH, IT'S BEEN PILING UP AND IT'S ATTRACTING RATS
Inti got ready to fire at James, but he ran off too. Not in the same direction as Raichu and Marill though.
"This'll be entertaining," Raichu muttered.
Morgan, Craig, Tani, Harry, Triah and Togee rematerialised i
Oh finally, some common sense. sheesh! But as soon as Raichu expects something, we move on to other characters cos of course we do. Inti's finished.
Inti hadn't noticed since he was too busy trying to hit James with that strange beam. He seemed to had forgotten about the writers for some reason.
NM, I need to read a smidge ahead before I comment
Inti is again in my bad books. Aim for Marill, put her out of her misery
Harry pulled out a tricorder for some reason, and it detected lifesigns from behind the crystal wall.
I'M SORRY WHAT. FOR SOME REASON
Anyway Morgan to the sueish rescue with her Sueachu, doing what James couldn't, using electric?? to break the crystal surrounding Jessie and Duncan.
"What's going on, Jess? Why is Inti attacking James?" Morgan asked.
"I don't know, I've been behind this thing," Jessie replied.
"He's just got one of those faces," Craig said.
And you've got one of those stfu's, nobody's perfect
When the timing was right, they rushed over to where James was. He'd been sort of cornered by the crystal balcony. Morgan and Craig got out a few Creature Balls and they got ready to throw them.
"There's no point, Inti just counters any attacks that are fired at it," James said.
Is...er that why nobody has tried to physically attack this guy? It's just an overgrown dog, and it's distracted.
"Last words, anybody?" Craig replied. Everyone glared at him.
"Shut up!" they all yelled.
Look at my face, am I laughing, smiling, struggling to keep a straight face? No. this is my The Slayers face, and it looks more like this
Inti fired his beam towards the group. They all threw themselves to the ground to get out of the way. The blast hit the balcony, and it exploded. Afterwards there was no balcony.
Inti got ready to fire again as Morgan, Jessie and James started to get back up. They had to grab ahold of the broken wall to stop themselves from falling about 100 feet. Inti fired the blast and it hit the wall the three were holding onto.
Um, what happened to Craig? I'm telling you, we've been tricked. James is clearly useless, Morgan can only uselessly command pokemon. Craig's the Slayer, he'll save us
James was the first one to lose his balance.
Of course he was.
Morgan quickly took a hold of his arm, and Jessie got a hold of Morgan's.
She used the unstable wall to try and pull them back up. She simply wasn't strong enough, and the three of them nearly fell.
YEAH NO S$$$$
At the last second Harry grabbed Jessie's wrist, and he tried to pull them all up.
SO MUCH BULLLS$$$ IT STINKS
Let me guess, the writers will run up to pull as well, saying some fourth wall line similar to Team Rocket. I'm not guessing, Iknow, I'm such a cheat.
"If anything happened to you guys, we'd have to make do with only a few extra characters," Raichu said. Everyone rolled their eyes and groaned.
Well at least this'll give Kiara a chance to shine. Poor girl's been forgotten about
Inti seemed to be watching with interest. "What's this?" he asked.
Everyone got back to their feet. "We're like a family, we help each other, and work together," Harry said.
HOLD ON, LET ME GET A BUCKET. I HAVE A FEELING I'M GOING TO NEED IT
"We'll make a deal with you. If you beat our strongest slayers then we'll leave," Morgan said. Everyone stared at her like she was crazy.
What really? I thought for a minute we were gonna cheese speech him to death
Oh well, GO CRAIG... AND APPARENTLY JESSIE TOO COS SHE MANAGED TO CATCH TOO HEAVY JAMES AND OTHER SLAYER MORGAN WITH ONE HAND. SHE'S $$$$$$ OP, WOAH
"Here me out. If we win then you have to let Talia leave this place," Morgan said.
"Talia does not wish to go," Inti said.
"What's wrong Inti, afraid you'll lose," Jessie said.
OF COURSE HE IS, WE ALL SAW JESSIE'S MAD SKILLS. SHE ONLY LOST HER GRIP BECAUSE OF THAT WEAK ASS WALL HOLDING HER BACK. YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST
"I'm not afraid, I will win. None of you are strong enough to beat me," Inti said.
"Ok, James, ready to fight?" Morgan asked.
No, no garbage time. I've read ahead a line. I'm too mad. Why?
"What? Why me?" James said.
"Duh, haven't you forgotten," Morgan muttered.
"Oh yeah, I remember," James said.
*dies of aneurysm*
Coroner: Why does she have paste for teeth?
Corner 2: who the f$$$ cares, just toss her in the fire
Morgan groaned, and she stepped away from the group dragging James with her.
For once I'm on flipping Morgan's side. GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
You don't forget you have super strength. It's something you'd quickly notice if you somehow managed to
Inti began to fire his beam at the pair. They both separated to avoid the blast. Inti went straight for Morgan. He fired his beam at her, she didn't have time to get away. She fell to the ground, badly injured. Everyone stared in horror.
WELL DONE MORGAN, MUCH EPIC, MUCH WOW
How quick is this arsehole firing. Speed of light? there's no excuse for this not taking advantage of
Inti turned James' way. He fired the beam again. James tried to get away, but the blast knocked him to the hard ground. Inti smiled and he headed over to Morgan. He easily pushed her over to where James was lying. He then put both of his front paws on them to hold them down. He then got ready to fire the beam once again.
I've been done with this mess for most of part 2, but this fight scene is so pathetic, I just want it to be over and mark this worse than Love Spell on purpose. I probably won't have to.
"Stop!" Talia yelled. Inti turned to her, and he halted the beam. Talia ran over to him. "No more fighting, please daddy," she said. Inti got off Morgan and James and he backed away. Talia ran closer to him and she hugged him.
Craig and the others ran over to Morgan and James.
Talia looked around at the others, she smiled. "I want things real again, daddy," she said as she looked up at Inti.
And that's it, GAME OVER.
shake as the Game Cube moved away from the planet.
"Captain, the Game Cube is leaving," Tom said.
GO HOME TOM AND I SUPPOSE PAST MARILL, YOU'RE DRUNK. IT'S A SPHERE FFS
"What about the 8472 ships and they're allies?" Chakotay asked.
"They're leaving orbit!" Tom said in a surprised tone of voice.
"Why would they give up so easily?" Kathryn asked.
"God knows," Chakotay replied.
I think you're giving god too much credit. The answer's obviously the episode is over. ALMOST THANK GOD
Talia saw her father walking through the mansion's door. She ran over to him and she hugged him. Lilly and Johnstone followed him in the mansion. Ragha picked up Talia.
Yeah um I know this is the Pokemon movie and all, but that still doesn't excuse it so I'll question this. So the Softmicron kidnapped the dad, instead of using him as a user. I guess yeah a kid would be a better one, so yeah fine. but why kidnap him and where did he go? Then Inti appears who she mistakes for her dad (which is f-ing hilarious). As soon as he adopts her the sphere forms, turning her house into crystal for no reason.
Inti blabs to Jessie that if the kid decides its over, its over. Meanwhile the myth is spheres can only be beaten by Chosens and yet the at least Naturals get knocked out with little fuss (see, not the Chosens), and the game only ends cos the kid develops a conscience. Inti, who was around before the game formed, accepts this gracefully and ends it. Dad reappears with no explanation. happy ever after. except for Morgan who was severely injured, James too I assume, by fireballs
So yeah, my questions
Why is this (still) called The Slayers with a sphere that can't be defeated with violence?
Apart from getting their asses whooped, and I doubt that was Morgan's plan or what James was supposed to remember in that painful exchange, the only legit Slayers in the game contributed nothing to the resolution. So again. Why is this still called The Slayers?
What's the deal with this god damn dad disappearing?
Why were Softmicron napping in a box?
Why were Softmicron apparently egg shaped in part 2, when they were Unown in part 1?
What's up with the dragons?
How the f$$$ did Tani adopt a baby one and why isn't it ever asked in the episode?
How come it took three months to come back to and complete this crud, and yet still manage to be worse for it?
What the hell is Inti meant to be?
The definite answer to most of these is THIS IS SPELL OF THE UNOWN, GOD. It's a Pokemon movie, so there's Pokemon everywhere. The dad disappears cos he disappears in the movie. The kid is a dumbass that thinks a giant dog is her dad because... well you know. All James and Morgan do is get injured because Ash and Pikachu probably get injured, cueing Talia's guilty conscience. The Softmicron turn into eggs because I wanted to do something different but still have them be a kind of Pokemon, cos god knows we can't not have that. Tani adopting a baby Soft is a new thing I'll give you that. Inti is a legendary Pokemon, enough said. The only question I can't answer is the dragons.
Changing the Softmicron's Unown form into Togepi/dragon, because??? It's funny that the villains are cute? I always thought Togepi was secretly evil? Haha shapeshifting dragons.... yeah I'm only guessing here but I have a feeling I'm right.
But yep, James and Morgan are chumpified because a) the kid still has to say its over for it to be so, and b) Jessie telling her that her fantasies could kill everyone on the planet couldn't sway her, but seeing two people fried by fakedaddy was the final straw. Forget that both James and Morgan know the key to winning the game is convicing the kid, Jessie did more than either of them did cos she remembered that. Everyone else thought playing along with the kid's battles was a good idea, and don't give me that distraction crap.
In short, the so called titular characters, the Slayers aka Morgan and James, are not needed to win the game, nor are they really the main characters. Anyone could've been hit by Entei and made the kid sob.
The Slayers did have an original story, it did. I called it Holo Q 2 for its Pokemon abuse and plot stealing but that's... I'm hesitant now since Holo Q was blatantly ripping off with nothing else there as inspiration. The Slayers is closest to Disconnected after all. A good idea, destroyed by my tendency to steal. At least Disconnected had redeeming qualities, it tried to be original. The Slayers never bothered at all.
yikes, episode's not over and I'm waffling. sigh
"So, er, what were all those Bioan and Softmicron ships doing in orbit of the planet? And why did the Softmicron kidnap you and bring you back?" Johnstone asked.
"I have no idea, the Softmicron are a strange yet mysterious race. Even after this experience I'm still going to continue my study of them," Ragha replied.
I'm getting Tolg have no reason for acting the way they do vibes from this. It smells lazy
"If you don't want me to do it, I'll not," Ragha said.
"No, just be careful daddy," Talia said.
OH WELL CONFLICT RESOLVED BEFORE IT EVEN BEGAN
"A few more days, I think. After all that's happened it'll probably only be a few minutes," Lilly replied.
"Well, lets make the most of what we've got then shall we," Ragha said.
THE END????? okay that ended with a whimper
Will we hear anymore of the Softmicron, and Species 8472?
Did the writers get the episode back
It's hard to say as nothing really changed. it's bad all around
, and did they escape being arrested?
Why else did True Q take so long to be released?.............. DON'T SAY IT
And why did we forget to add questions on the original copy of this episode?
It's probably somewhere with the episode's lost plot
Find out the answers to maybe some of these questions next time on Fifth Voyager.
I can't fricking wait
sigh. Don't worry, the next 5/6 are a mixture of good ones, ones I haven't read in a while and remember being ok, and a mixed controversial bag. And some pointless special that was released "early" for Halloween and spoiled True Q allegedly. But more on that in the next episode of Re-Reads. Look forward to the ultimate SPOILER HAVEN that is True Q. For now lets mark this crapfest.
Muttered Count: 70 (863)
Sexist Crap Count: 0 (33)
Jessie's Sin Points: +1 (29)
Morgan the Sue Count: 10 (29)
Annika Dies Count: 0 (8)
James Kill Count: 0 (2)
James Dies Count: 0 (3)
James Badasses Off Screen For Our Sins: 0 (15)
Marill's Playing With Her Dolls Again: 1 (38) Forgot to add that one for the Danny/Jessie scene, oops
Just A Little Bit More: 1 (23)
1) The Slayers=Pokemon 3 The Spell of the Unown, so much so the plot's completely shifted around to suit. This could've happened to Disconnected, so it could be worse but sheesh. (2)
2) A planet's in danger, meanwhile the band are performing and gasp, Tom's not happy with the repetative song choices (me neither Tom)
3) I'm not sure why Duncan's inserted into this story at all. I mean don't get me wrong, his little transporter stunt and Jessie's hinting he's like his dad was funny and cute, but him being kidnapped does nothing, it amounts to nothing. You could have Jessie kidnapped and nothing would change in the plot.
4) Danny and Jessie waste everyone's time with their chat about Jessie sleeping better cos she's next to James "mystery". It has nothing to do with the plot. We know James is ultra protective of Jessie, so we don't need this scene to know why he overreacts to her kidnapping later. Even if it did...
5) James is inconsolably furious when Jessie is kidnapped, fine, but as the episode goes on he calms down and is pretty blah about the whole thing. You'd think when he reaches Inti it'd be a bloodbath. This isn't me making garbage jokes to death, it's me wanting some consistency in story and character.
6) As mentioned above; Spheres can only be defeated by the Chosen Slayers, and yet the reason why the spheres are different is that it picks a user who can turn the planet into whatever they want. Morgan says beating them at a games match is the only way to win, like that makes any sense? It doesn't because as proved the user can wish for victory everytime and they'd get nowhere. But what actually ends it is the kid deciding she wants out and that's it. Morgan does say as well that while the Chosens gimmick is the higher strength, they also can manipulate games once they're more experienced. Now this, this would make the "the only way to end the game is to defeat or convince the user" requirement. The user can cheat and so can the Chosens, giving them time to either knock out the user or talk them out.
None of this happens. I know they're convinced they don't have any Chosens, and yeah there's no evidence they do since the game ended because James and Morgan's pitiful defeat made the kid sad/guilty. Which makes the Chosen information utterly useless on its own and the reason for the title very Hunters/Aggressionish. This time I can't say oh it was always called that, I just started to write it differently. The Slayers started with this Spell of the Unown the kid has to decide plot in mind. It should've got a different name before release. LAZY
Season Three Spoilers; then when you get to Oasis and the reveal happens that at least James is one, it kinda adds a bitter twist to this whole thing. Sure James isn't experienced in the games, fine, but again why have this episode with chosen hints without any god damn hints. It kinda does if you read too much into it; James wins by technically losing which upsets the kid enough for her to choose to end it. A Chosen won the Game but it's not obvious that a one did, no one's any of the wiser until the reveal later. But really there are no actual hints, it doesn't feel to me that was the intention. That pisses me off to no end. I wasn't expecting in your face reveals, I was hoping for a subtle scene like when Morgan and James team up to destroy the door. Even that one I just think is them showing us what we know already.
7) So sick of the Pokemon indulgence. (2)
8) Back to Duncan, the reasons why he ends up the Game make little sense either. I buy that James is so irresponsible and new to this, that he'd leave the kid in the transporter room and tell him to sit there until his "brother" arrives, but why did he have him at all when in the previous scene they were all on the bridge. It's just an excuse.
9) Since it never said otherwise, I don't buy the whole Inti kidnaps people to fulfil Talia's family wishes when he's clearly capable of making other things appear at her command. It's a god damn game sphere, recreate her family. I'd like to think he did this to piss James off but it's never said so I won't give it reasonable doubt
10) Faye's a trainee Games Slayer cos why not. I'd give this a pass if it were because she was only a Pokemon trainer, as she's my self insert and I still play the games. But she's a knife weilder? Haha whut really? I struggle to cut meat with a knife ffs.
11) The reason for the battles in the movie was to whittle the main cast down to one human (Ash and his Pikachu lover). Faye is abandoned fine, but in Morgan's turn it doesn't matter. Then Harry decides to bring his half of the team into the Game to bulk up the numbers again. It's pointless
12) Everything the writers contribute to this story
13) James is blamed for the Steps split (and yeah I didn't probably know at the time that his actor was actually to blame, but James REALLY isn't H at all in the slightest) and so I'm marking all his other issues in one point, as it's clear most of his crap is because of that. Raichu and Marill reveal when the January parts of Slayers was written, and "funnily" enough this is where James' personality and everything shifts. I've complained about his temper disappearing. This is more about his treatment. Morgan pretty much learns to swim on the spot and humiliates him for not doing the same, then of course The Slayers decides he can't swim because she couldn't and god forbid he can do something she can't. And yeah that Morgan point's a separate complaint also. James is dragged around multiple times, literally by even Raichu. He's still got some sass going on but gets writers hating him for it. Marill pretty much steals his rescue from him, which is a shame as it would've been a nice change of pace. He's the first to fall off the balcony and is chased by Entei, which feels very slapstick. James forgets he's a Slayer.
I could go on, you get the picture. Poor James is punished for something fourth wall-y, and I know he'll get it again in Bittersweet along with Jessie, having read most of that one already and thanks to the comments in this one. It's sorta nice to have an explantion for my biggest complaint about Bittersweet but I don't like it one bit.
14) Yeah, the whole bit with Morgan learning how to swim intuitively and then having the nerve to make James feel bad for not being able to do the same. I have an excuse, I was a Borg kid. F$$$ off. I joke about it, but James is not and never will be the Super Sue, he's the flawed (anti)hero. While you dear are the perfect angel no matter what you say or do, and I know it takes a while for that to wear off. Until then FU.
15) The Softmicron are introduced, or rather appear in the third dimension where the writers were originally wriiting. Now I'm okay with the rest of their introduction, barring the name, but having them show up here first (or rather name themselves here first, they had to be the alien alphabet in part 1) is annoying as hell to me.
16) I was gonna lay into the Harry, Triah and Tani deciding to show up at the mansion part of the "plot" as all it did was reveal the Togepi=Softmicron baby, but then I remembered another really annoying part. The ripoff didn't need these three to do this annoying part so I'm still gonna mark this separate. Softmicron could've shown up where they were, they didn't need to be in the mansion for this reveal.
17) Which annoying part, there appears to be several. Inti fires on the balcony while James, Morgan and Craig are there, Craig vanishes?? and turns into Jessie, James falls first because he's H and we blame him for a pop band splitting. Morgan grabs him and cos he's oh so fat she's pulled over too, then Jessie grabs her and manages to hold on a short time. This keeps happening until all the characters but Inti and Talia are clutching another character in a really weird line while James and Morgan dangle over the edge. Yeah this is a ripoff scene sure, but I only liked it in the movie because Team Rocket save the day and I love that. The writers saving them should be expected, they don't hate the characters... unless they're James of course.
I just don't like this... it's comically laughable
18) While James doesn't rescue anyone with the writers, everyone else are running away and keep getting spotted by more Softmicron dragons. It gets very old.
19) Morgan once again accepting a "if I lose we leave" challenge, or rather she initiates it. Her plan is for her and James to fight it, which normally would be a-ok, but in this game if they had done ok or even won it, all it'll have achieved is pissing off Talia. Talia could've wished anything to help Inti, who by the way does the wish granting anyway so he doesn't need Talia in theory to do absolutely anything to win. Now fine, Morgan coming up with this is ok. She's a dumb kid. Nobody really argues with it, James goes along with it after his brain freeze. They know how to win the game, attacking Inti isn't it. I doubt what happened was Morgan's intention, she's not that clever and neither was I.
20) The final scene with the Ligers/Johnstones/Nystral reunion barely does anything, it's filler, nothing more.
1) Despite the blatant ripoffyness, the opening scenes with Talia and Ragha have some detail and thought put into them. Not bad.
2) Okay scene between Lilly and her brother, which is related to the plot and has some incy bit of backstory for them
3) Duncan is cute, his interactions with his parents is cute, end of.
Marill's Rating: 12%
Rankings So Far:
#02 Disconnected: 40%
#03 Kiss of Death: 38%
#04 Interactions: 37%
#05 The Resurrection: 36%
#06 Saturday Night & Precise Timings: 31%
#07 Games Resistance: 29%
#08 Thrown Key Part 2: 23%
#09 F9: Control Failure: 21%
#10 Dimension Jump: 14%
#11 The Slayers: 12%
#12 The Love Spell: 10%
OH MY, so close. The Love Spell remains the worst but only just. Still being beaten by Dimension Rage's gotta sting