Re-Reads Holo Q
Part Two - "in which the series villains show up and french kiss a robot"
What? Pay it no mind. I was never gonna top Test of Time's part 2 subtitle joke, so didn't try and went full on crazy. Means nothing. Let's continue.
Last time on Marill Re-Reads Holo Q
Harry's ears perk up, "gorry bodies?"
AAAH THIS SHOULD BE FORMATTED IN SPOILER COLOURS
OOOPS: WARNING THIS NEXT SCENE INVOLVES MATERIAL THAT IS CONSIDERED TOO STUPID FOR EVERYONE. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MIRROR UNIVERSES DIMENSION THEORY LEVEL OF STUPID. READER DISCRETION ADVISED
Ok. So, the Borg assimilated a Human probe in 2262. And they didn't bother with Humans until they found the Enterprise D or the Raven if you'd prefer (LOLGETOUT).
SOMEHOW?? Restrain. TWO MACHINES OF DESTRUCTION. HOLOGRAPHIC CAPSULE ON A PROBE, WITH A CREW, IN AN ERA THAT DIDN'T HAVE HOLODECK TECH.
This is laughable. Q is only neutered so there's a story, the half powered Q's couldn't have done it. It's laziness. That's all.
Nm, it's Power Rangers the Movie time!
Gee, I wonder what these creatures are.
LEAVE TUVOK ALONE
There's my boy. Typical that S1-James' first glimmers of new/present day James revolve around Jessie. Tale as old as time.
Yay, if you wondered if FV could get anymore cartoony, the answer is always yes.
And now the conclusion
Yeah um, Part 2 of Holo Q is the biggest file to be reviewed so far and I waste a few lines making a recap. Stay "classy" Marill.
"I can't believe it! How could he let them slip through his hands, he's no better than the rest of the hired help around here!" she yelled.
"Oh give it a rest," Lord Q moaned. The main door opened and Q2 walked in.
"Hi honey, I'm home!" he yelled loudly.
I hope you enjoyed Power Rangers The Movie, 99% of part 2 is that.
"You big slimy purple pin head, six of Voyager's crewmembers are going after the great power! I thought this Q was a master of disaster, he's nothing more than a slime infested jelly bean..." Miss Q yelled angrily. Q2 clicked his fingers and her mouth disappeared.
"Finally someone shut her up," Lord Q said happily.
This feels sexist. I dunno if I should count it, it's not something I came up with. Decisions.
Miss Q/Rita Q has a point, she's got good reason to be angry. Lord Q never rebuts, just tells her to STFU. Meh.
Anyway, rest of the scene is the Q's being Lord Z, Rita and Ooze. Nothing quotable. Like in the reboot, Ooze Q banishes the other two into a tiny object for criticising his crappy revenge tactics. Original version does so by quoting everything word for word, Home Sweet Holodeck tries to keep the dialogue fresh but does the same thing, as it hadn't yet noticed the entire episode is like this and more had to be done. Still 10x better though.
"Oh yes, the away team," Q2 muttered. He clicked his fingers and fifteen black bird creatures appeared. "Shut your beaks! Now, you'll fly to Phados One, find the away team and you will tear them apart!" Q2 laughed. The creatures laughed and they flew away.
Fly my ugly, fly!
Anyway the black bird creatures go flying through space to Phados One and don't die on route. Power Rangers did this too, but that doesn't mean I can't complain about it. So I will. WAH! I shouldn't have copied it exactly, BUT at least their creator is a Q who might've helped them breathe and fly in space. I don't think Ooze had such powers.
NM BOTH ARE BAD.
The awayteam dematerialised on a rocky surface. It was a coastal region and the wind was strong. It was very much like Earth.
Welp, that's Harry out of this mission. He'll be clinging onto every rock he can find, imagining his mummy.
"Guys, look at this!" Jessie yelled from a few metres away. Everyone ran over to her. She was hovering over a huge humanoid skeleton.
"What is it?" Harry asked.
"I think the question is, what was it?" Tom asked.
Harry: It's not gorry enough, WHAT IS IT
I'm surprised they were able to find it, Kimberley didn't scream at it.
Oh yeah Part 2. Kimberley is no longer being played by Triah, there's a lot less to girly eew at, now her role is damsel in distress platonic love interest. Sorry Triah, that's not you. Who is?
Jessie stopped and stared out into the ocean. James, who was behind her stopped as well. "Are you okay?" he asked.
"I was just thinking about Voyager. You know, and all the things we've all been through together," Jessie muttered.
I should've done it before and like the first scene in Part 2, I'm not sure I should since it wasn't me that wrote it. The Power Rangers writers did. Kimberley's role in this film is to eeeeeeeeew gross, scream and be damselly. HOWEVER I swapped Triah for Jessie for this, despite the fact that she and B'Elanna are probably the most lethal members of the awayteam and should be carrying the others. But no, James needs his role and character traits for the rest of the series explored to see if they work with him, so he's no longer this cowardly hyperactive mess.
It's good for James, it did eventually give his character the much needed development and secured him a very sweet place in the series' lore. He wouldn't be a prominent main character until the end if I didn't try to change him from Lite Team Rocket James.
It's bad for Jessie though. She's a means to an end, which is sad because it's the opposite of what I wanted for her. Thing is, if I wasn't copying Power Rangers to every little detail, the storyline for these two could've been accomplished without Jessie's character being insulted. I have proven since that these two can both be tough together, their weaker scenes are when one is made meek to toughen the other (only one comes to mind, Q and the Grey's finale, but hey!).
So yeah, I've decided. If it was simply a copycat Power Rangers scene, and kept Triah as the Pink Ranger then I'd skip it. Since I went out of my way to swap so I can strengthen James' character, while ignoring Jessie's then it's obvious:
Sexist crap against my own gender count: 1
Sorry! I like that I did sometimes bother to help James out, but not like this, NOT LIKE THIS.
"Don't worry, we'll find that power, and then we'll send that Q back to the sewer he climbed out of. Come on lets go," James said. They both smiled, and turned away from the ocean. They both screamed as one of the bird creatures dove for them. Luckily they had enough time to duck.
At least it starts out harmless. Both scream and act at the same time. That's fine. The reboot didn't, but that was only because I HATED it when Season One had James and Jessie acting as one entity. It's ultra creepy.
The screams got everyone's attention. More bird creatures appeared. James and Jessie turned as another creature dove for them. James jumped off pulling Jessie with him.
It does not last.
Everyone ducked when the creatures dove down for them. The creatures attacked. Tom ran towards a wall, a creature was following him. Suddenly he ducked and the creature flew straight into the cliff face.
Tom, get new fighting moves. Seriously. He did this exact thing in Part 1.
Jessie pushed a creature away. One flew up behind her and it grabbed her by the arms and it flew away. She tried to get out of it's grasp but she saw how high it was and decided against it.
More of a nitpick against PR, as probably most of my picks are in this, but why does it do this? Its orders are to tear them apart, in other words kill them. I don't remember Ooze or Q2 adding to that order with, "grab one and fly around a bit for luls".
"Hang on Jess!" James yelled.
"Jessie, hold on!" everyone else was yelling.
Oh Jessie hold on, just hold on. Oh Jessie be strong. Nope, just keep on damselling.
"Put me down big bird, I hate heights!" she screamed. Suddenly the bird let her go, she dropped to the ground.
This works. Or does it?
Everyone saw a woman fighting the creatures. Suddenly she began to move a bunch of sticks in circles, a whistling noise started. The creatures screamed in pain and they flew away. The away team gathered around the woman.
Oh yeah, the magic sticks thingie.
"That was amazing, thanks," Tom said and he held his hand out. She smacked his burned hand with her stick.
Oh sorry, habit.
Seriously, WTF? Did he hold out his burnt hand, or did she intentionally aim for it? At least that answers one of the next time on questions.
"We were told there was a great power here, is it true?" Harry asked.
"Yes, the ground is littered with the bones who have tried for it and failed," the woman said.
A great power that is only for six people who like animal themed robots and all coloured outfits. Everyone else dropped dead on the beach for simply not being Power Rangers. It's cruel but that's life.
"We're different, we won't fail," Tom said. The alien smacked him in the back of the legs, the blow made him lose his balance. He fell over backwards.
Ok yep, Tom abuse is definitely a running gag for part 2.
"Q! Did you say Q?" the woman asked.
"Are you that Q that protects this planet?" B'Elanna asked.
I do wonder how the Q's know which Q people are talking about. "Um, Q?" "Oh him!"
"How does she know which Q is which?" James whispered. Jessie shrugged.
Holy s$$$ an original line *collapses*
Holodeck Two (Newcastle Building Site):
Q2 had brainwashed a large group of holograms to dig up the building site. He was sitting on a chair looking very bored. Goldar was standing near by.
You know after centuries of being trapped in a Holodeck, surely you'd know a quicker method. Just saying.
"My god, I'm bored. These holograms are extremely slow. I've seen Old Men work faster," Q2 said. The Old Man appeared. "Huh? Who's he?"
"Hello, I'm the Old Man. I remember in those days we used to..."
Well you can't say you didn't ask for it by capitalising Old Men.
"How the hell does he keep getting into our stories?" Marill's voice asked.
"Actually I did it this time. I hate that Q so I thought I'd torture him," Raichu's voice replied.
I'm not surprised. He was a pretty dull villain. At least when someone destroyed the first zords it was pretty dramatic, and was a bit upsetting for kids as they grew attached to them. This guy swooped in and destroyed them off screen, I assume, since they get new ones in the film. YAWN.
Oh yeah. This bit. Quoted and unedited. Enjoy:
"Warn me the next time BEFORE I get the rabid dogs set up outside the house," Marill's voice said. Some barking is heard, followed by kids screaming. Marill and Raichu ran to the window. Some of South Stanley's brats were getting chewed up by the rabid dogs.
"Oh well, they did some good," Raichu's voice said. Marill shook her head.
"Watch and learn the horrors of South Stanley," Marill's voice said.
Outside the mothers stole the kids bodies and moved house. A moving van quickly pulled up, a family with twice as much kids moved into the house in five seconds. Another second later the kids are running riot among the streets playing with tyres, broken prams, trolleys, knives (that 1 hasn't happened yet but it will) & finally Marill's door. Her dad stormed out of the house yelling at the kids. The kids ran away screaming.
"See," Marill's voice said.
"Geez, you'd probably see saner kids in a Nut House," Raichu's voice muttered.
STUPID BONUS ROUND:
1) Kids being ripped apart by rabid dogs.
2) Marill the 15 year old getting rabid dogs.
3) Raichu's reaction.
4) Marill naming the exact village where she lives.
5) Mothers taking the corpses of their kids with them when they move
6) Mothers moving out in five seconds
7) I dunno where I'd get the idea of them moving out at all. Surely they'd stay and breed more/twice as many since that's the joke. I think?
8) New people moving in, in a second.
9) Marill's dad, though he is in character.
10) The completely opposite reactions of the kids
11) Nut House capitalised.
12) Has nothing to do with Holo Q and was triggered by the Old Man appearing.
WOW 12, new record. I'm sure someone can get a better score though.
"Hey, will you writers shut up and let us get on with the story!" Q2 yelled.
"That's it, he's in for extreme pain!" Raichu's voice yelled.
Ok I take it all back. Q2 isn't that bad. Too bad he's S1 jinxed himself.
"You know rabid sounds a lot like rabbits!" Marill's voice muttered.
"AAAGGHHH!" they both screamed.
So what you're saying is if the writers appear in any scene, all we have to do is say rabbits and they'll leave?
"Anyway, like I was about to say, you're using holographic teachers. They're the slowest creatures in the entire galaxy," Goldar said.
Ah, sometimes you forget this was written by a kid still at school don... hahahaha nope. You're not buying it, are you? Everything about this screams stupid kid.
Anyway the villains show how evil they are by making a hologram of a teacher do the can can and ballet. I obviously didn't know what can can was since I didn't describe it, but did with the ballet. I'm betting this was in the movie too, but the not described one was replacing something.
"Oh, Boss, they're back!" Goldar said with a tricorder in his hands.
"Transport them into the holodeck," Q2 said as he clicked his fingers. Now there was enough power to transport the creatures into the holodeck.
Now there was enough power to...
Voyager had to transport them? If Q2 had enough power to spare to the transporters, why couldn't he teleport them himself? One of his powers is teleporting, he's been shown doing so. Bulls$$$
"How did you fare?" Q2 asked.
"Fine," one muttered.
Yep that's a FV sidekick if I've ever seen one.
"What you didn't kill them. You call yourselves warriors your just uncooked turkeys. I'll have you stuffed and roasted!" Q2 yelled angrily.
They call themselves what? Ha!
"But master, there was a monster with a huge sticks. She kept swirling them around," another creature said.
Yeah it was stupid in both versions. Or all three versions now.
A huge sticks.
"Darcia, that manipulating sea devil of a witch. If she leads them to the great power, everything will be ruined!" Q2 exclaimed.
"Do you want us to take another whack at it?" the creature asked.
"How about taking another quack at it!" Q2 yelled,
The joke was bad and I should feel bad for copying it.
"There's no time to waste, my robots must be unearthed by midnight," Q2 said.
You know, episodes following a movie or another show's plot can still be salvaged. Doesn't make them good but bare with me. How? Sometimes the details can make all the difference. I'm trying to think of a FV example here. I know, hard to remember a good one.
The first one that came to mind are the later reboots of the Monkey Island parodies, namely The Revenge half of Secret and Escape From The Curse. Here we have an episode following the plot of a video game while parodying it, a game that in itself is meant to be funny. Tough job and it's obviously debatable if it works or not. My point here though is the episode has to keep up with the story whilst in a different setting. Instead of in the 16/17th century in the Caribbean, it's the 24th with starships and phasers. The Secret half of these episodes follows it too much, not as badly as Holo Q, and IMO is rubbish because of that until the reboot kicked in and added new scenes. Revenge and Curse are well aware it's not an original story, still tries to tell it in a way that keeps people interested regardless of if they've seen the original or not.
I think the best example from those episodes is actually in Escape Part 2, where I had to follow the villain is trying to win an election storyline. The original Escape From Hell Itself couldn't be bothered to change anything, while its reboot not only changes the circumstances that lead to the election, but also made the campaign scenes wholly different from the original game that fit with the FV version of the villain, AND tied in perfectly with the overall story in Escape. In a nut shell, whether or not you know Escape From Monkey Island, Escape From The Curse Part 2 gives you a different experience all together. Good or bad, I bothered to make the story fit into FV while staying true to its Monkey Island roots.
Meanwhile Holo Q ignores the potential of making Power Rangers the Movie different since it's set in a different universe with different people. I assume there's a hidden element to its story, which I abused for the reboot. That doesn't give it a pass though. Ooze Q still sets his sights on digging up "robots" with brainwashed adults, sends flying warriors, while the awayteam follow the exact trials to acquire animal "spirits". Ooze Q is still on a timelimit, even though he shouldn't be (tho reboot version begs to differ). Even the setting is the same. The Holodeck never gets out of the building site, awayteam on the planet. It's stale. It's boring. It's samey. And my god I talked waaaay too much.
Good thing it's time for my break nearly. Almost halfway through Part 2.
Darcia led the away team to a stone henge type place.
Haha. Not even trying.
"The sacred grounds of the Y'Jeti," Darcia said and she headed towards the cliff edge. Everyone followed. "There, beyond the Marlon Ridge is the Monolick. Inside holds the key to the greatest power in the universe. The Monolick is heavily guarded against intruders. No one has ever survived in an attempt to reach it," Darcia said.
... with my ability to remember this entire speech. I assume.
"You were chosen by Q. I have faith in his wisdom," Darcia replied. Everyone gave each other worried looks.
Oh dear indeed.
"We will call upon the sacred Game Creature spirits of the Y'Jeti," Darcia said. Everyone exchanged puzzled looks.
Remember, this line would've originally been "the sacred Pokémon spirits"
Also remember, this is supposed to be the greatest power in the universe. REMEMBER
"Buried deep within each of us is a animal spirit waiting to be released," Darcia said. "Close your eyes and look deep inside."
Oh god, I remember this bit word for word, how she says this and what she does while reading this. STOP!
Meanwhile on Voyager Chakotay's ears are burning. He'd be like "I told you so, but you made fun of me."
Everyone did as they were told. Darcia blew whatever was in her hands into the air. The powder rose above the fire and it glowed. It rose further into the air and the fire grew. Suddenly the away team had these strange Ninja clothes on, they were different colours.
I kept the "ninja" outfits. That's f$$$$$ hilarious
Keep going Marill, rip everything off regardless of how dumb it is. You know what, I'm surprised you even have Pokémon in this. Since Q2 has robots being unearthed as we speak, it'd make sense for them to summon their own. But whatever.
Triah's was pink, Tom's was green, B'Elanna's was orange, James' was purple, Jessie's was red, and Harry's was black. Each of them had a large coin with a picture of the creatures they had on the holodeck imprinted on them. Darcia walked over to B'Elanna.
Um, Triah's not the Pink Ranger anymore "narrator". GET IT TOGETHER
But lol, let's go through this.
Tom is the green. By the movies there is no green. He was changed into the white. Since there is no white, I'm gonna assume we're meant to believe he's Tommy. Well the name's right, BUT THAT'S IT.
B'Elanna orange? Ohhhhhh orange as in fire. You know, you could've used red.
James is purple. Get it, because purple is considered too pink like for men to be secure in. But James doesn't give a f$$$ and he's a girly man, since he's not macho and s$$$. Yep I'm not mad... at all.
Sexist crap against my own gender count: 2
I lied. It's probably more of a "haha gay" joke than a "lol purple is girly" joke. *shrug*
Jessie is red, because????
Then Harry is black, the only consistent and correct one of the batch since he's taking Johnny Young Bosch's role as the Black Ranger who's gypped with the frog while everyone else gets cool junk like the tiger or bird... look I DON'T REMEMBER I ONLY REMEMBER "I'M A FROG" AND "HANDSOME PRINCE".
It should've been from what I've seen so far: B'Elanna=Red (she's obviously the leader and fire creature), Harry=Black, James=White (since he keeps taking the Tommy role in the damsel in distress story), Jessie=Pink (ditto-ish), Tom=Blue (basically because that's all that's left of the men), Triah (yellow, again because that's what's left). Jessie and Triah could be realistically swapped since Triah was pink first.
But neh, new colours. I don't like white, yellow or blue... wait, I do like blue. WTF?
"B'Elanna, you are the Charizard, fierce and unstoppable," Darcia said. She moved over to Tom.
Yes. That's fine.
"Tom, you are the Chikorita. It's looks make it appear weak but it's heart is strong," Darcia said. She moved over to Triah.
o_0 Myeh, that's a stretch. What's that got to do with Chikorita? Sure it looks weak but the heart part is debatable.
"Triah, light and gentle, you're are the Togeta," Darcia said. She moved over to Harry who was upset again.
Cheating with made up Pokémon. Sigh. Sort of passes.
"I'm still a frog," he muttered.
"Yes, a Phrog, like the one you kiss to get a handsome prince," Darcia said. She moved over to James.
Yes. Still. But we'll get to that, Harry. Be patient.
"James you're the Arbok. Although it doesn't look it, it's powerful but caring," Darcia said. She moved over to Jessie, the rest of the awayteam gathered up behind Darcia.
I TOLD YOU TO SPOILER COLOUR THIS S$$$, ME.
So erm, Holo Q says in your face that James doesn't look it but he's powerful. (And caring, so there are some lies in there lol). So far it's been mostly true with everyone. Tom proves a lot later that he shouldn't be underestimated despite his outward shell (which is meant to describe his smart alec/jokey nature more than his looks). B'Elanna's description is spot on. Triah is or should be gentle. Light is more for her short frame, her stepbrother's twice her size FYI. Harry's is there for a joke, so skip! Jessie's will be spot on too.
So yeah. Unless I lucked out or decided because of Holo Q's description here, it's clear to me that I had definitely decided on James' future role in the series and what it meant. I do know some details weren't decided, his relation to Morgan/Lena for example, but yeah. The way it's worded and the antics so far in the episode, this was foreshadowing something. Ahem.
"And you Jessie are the Firera. Small but extremely strong and hot tempered," Darcia said.
As mentioned, spot on.
However using a fake Pokémon is cheating, I told you. Oh yeah and James'. Arbok isn't really all that powerful, and I dunno where I got caring from. Like in the reboot, I probably couldn't assign him one that fit the description. I still dunno why I gave him an Arbok, when it was Jessie's in TR. I must've really hated Weezing.
"You can say that again," Tom muttered. Jessie growled at him so he kept his mouth shut.
"Shut up, Tom, fire beats grass any day," Jessie said angrily.
"Aren't you coming with us, Darcia?" Triah asked.
"If only I could. I can only stay in this plateau, it holds my immortality. The strength is inside you, trust it. Your sacred Game Creature will be your guide. May your animal spirits watch over you," Darcia said and she disappeared in a flash of light.
Darcia/Q3's story might actually be interesting to find out, but nah, let's not.
Oh and now we're here, before I go to break, let's look at these Pokémon again.
Q gave them the holograms in Part 1. The other Q/Darcia assigns them the same ones in Part 2. Laziness, done on purpose, what? I don't remember. The only reference to this is Harry's frog whine.
The biggest problem for me is why they were given the holograms in the first place. The so called Great Power later quoted, somewhere, as only being useable in holographic environments. The Holodeck and later the Games. I'm not even going to go into later developments. Just no. Yeah the holograms glitched/powered down earlier, but they're essentially risking their lives for things they already have and probably could've fixed in this time.
It's badly written, and I can't blame everything on Power Rangers since they get completely new zords. I wanted them to collect this mysterious power from a dangerous planet, use it to save Voyager from Q2 and still have it by the end of the episode. I seriously couldn't think of anything else? The least I could do was not have them use the same beasts in the beginning. All it does is raise eyebrows.
"It's time," B'Elanna said. She and Tom started walking down the rocky path down the mountain. The others followed.
Cue heartfelt/rousing music. For da journey.
The construction site in Newcastle was upturned. The holograms were digging up some strange robot pieces. Q2 walked to the edge of the upturned earth.
"Feast your eyes on the exo-skeleton of the barbaric, holographic, Q-Ataurs. The time at hand is close by. Once my lovely little Q'Ataurs are up and running, spreading fear and destruction throughout Voyager. I will annihilate Voyager and then the universe!" Q2 yelled, then he started laughing evilly. Goldar and the Bolian laughed with him.
Mwahahahahahahahaha my evil robots I'm digging up in the Holodeck will be unstoppable. GO, destroy the ship and... *robot steps outside Holodeck, disappears* oh s$$$.
Another hint here that all is not how it seems...
UNLESS I really was this stupid to believe that the Q could unearth robots from his egg shaped holodeck, I assume, and take over Voyager without worrying about emitters. Or I thought because he built them they were real. If he's so all powerful, why the need to dig them up, ey? Ey? If it's Holodeck, why isn't he manipulating it to do whatever he wants?? He doesn't need his powers if he can just play around with the settings. EY? EXPLAIN THAT
YOU CAN'T CAN YOU. THIS EPISODE IS STUPID. And what's sad is there's some important stuff in here. James' development, the Game Creatures acquiring. Without Holo Q the series loses a thread. STEP IT UP HOLO Q. MAKE SOME SENSE PLEASE.
The explanation probably was "he's a Q, he made his holograms real". I weep for my past self's stupidity. Especially because it doesn't explain away a later scene, and well that's my belief/hope that this episode did have some ulterior motive.
Phados One, An open graveyard:
"What is this place?" B'Elanna asked.
"It looks like some sort of graveyard," Tom said as the away team continued walking through the pile of dinosaur skeletons.
Really, I thought it was a coffee convention. Maybe I shouldn't have picked out that cup. Awkward.
A few things here which probably nitpick and/or make fun of Power Rangers too.
1) This is the second time they've run into skeletons. Is the episode or rather the movie telling me these dinosaurs tried to attain the zords/great power and failed the tests too? Did the zombie dino eat them?
2) This is another planet. Why is there dinosaur bones?
"Welcome to Jurassic Park," James said. Tom walked over to one of the skeletons heads.
"Very funny, James," Jessie muttered.
Oh snap. Jessie schooled him on sarcasm. That's how it's done.
Unknown to Tom the dinosaur's tail was moving towards him. He turned suddenly and ducked. Everyone turned quickly. A dinosaur skeleton got up to it's feet. It started to head for Triah but Harry was in the way. He jumped out of it's way before it stepped on him.
Of course it would be closer to Tom.
Though I'm surprised it went for Triah and Harry first. Perhaps Tom's luck is getting better.
Oh and... it's gunning for Triah. Harry is in the way. He jumped out of the way.
I know it's a giant Barney and all, but Jesus Harry. That description does you no favours.
B'Elanna picked up a large bone and she ran over to the skeleton. It's head moved to the right and it knocked B'Elanna to the ground.
The skeleton started heading Jessie's way. She screamed and she ran for cover.
Skeleton Dino: Ah ha, sorry about that. I thought Triah was still the Pink Ranger. My mistake.
Jessie: No probs. James can't show em how macho he is without me flailing about. Hang on. Let me get my game face on. AAAAAAGHHHHHHH
"Somebody help me!" she screamed. Tom tried to go after her but James grabbed his arm.
Meanwhile in opposite universe.
"Are you bloody crazy. Stay here I've got an idea," James said quickly.
"What's wrong James, you're never usually this brave," Triah asked.
You don't even know what his idea is yet. It could be tempting the dino with gallons pop for all you know. *getting flashbacks of Red Dwarf episode Pete* Ohnoes, don't do that! Triah's right, that's a dangerous move.
Oh and btw, shut up Triah. Only I can make fun of James' multiple personality disorder.
"James, that thing'll either trample you or eat you... maybe chew you a little. There's no way you're going," Tom said. James whispered something in his ear. Tom perked up a little bit. "You win, but don't blame me if you get killed." James picked up a bone and he threw it at the dinosaur.
1) Chew you a little? Yes I know it's a dead dino, but it still has teeth. Oh you mean it'll tear him up, "swallow" him and what's left will fall through the gaps. Harry will shout, "yes I live for gorry bodies!" No, I'm not tiring of the "gorry" jokes. FU.
2) James whispering in Tom's ear and his reaction gave me an interesting image. My mind is filthy.
3) You win, that's an awesome plan, I'll get behind that even if you're killed. And what is James' awesome plan? Throw a bone at the collection of bones. YOU'RE RIGHT, TOM'S PLAN WAS CRAZIER
"James, what the hell are you doing!" Jessie screamed angrily. The dinosaur turned around and started to go after him. Jessie managed to get away, Tom stopped her from going after James.
Yep, it's pretty much a similar plan to Tom's. He would've run over and maybe, ONLY MAYBE gotten its attention instead of Jessie. James' I suppose had better odds.
Still crazy, so James' reaction to Tom was a bit hypocritical.
Still can't deny the badassery though. Tom's was more instinctual, he saw her running off and lurched forward. James must've quickly thought this one through as he had time to stop Tom, yell at him, listen to Tom berate him, and explain it. So yeah, he had time to ponder this and still got the dinosaur to chase him. A bloody T-Rex.
Regardless of what James is capable of in future seasons, he's still in huge danger here. Come on, admit it. He's earned this one even if it is stupidly suicidal. Momma Janeway would approve. Still not spoilers. Momma Janeway is a well known name/joke at how motherly and overprotective of the crew she can be.
James got cornered by a tree. The creature stopped.
"Er, Tom, this would be a good time," James said. Tom quickly jumped onto it's back and he pulled out a bone from the back of it's neck. It's head fell off then it collapsed. Tom fell with it.
Woah, some badassery from Tom too. No wonder he liked the thought of letting James have this moment. He didn't. He would have to share this. So yeah Tom earned it too.
Too bad the pull bone out of its spine was a Power Rangers move, I don't care about this one. It foreshadows how James' arc's gonna go down and how much he cares about Jessie, and proves the description of Tom during his Game Creature acquiring (strong heart despite his weakness). Don't underestimate him when it comes to doing the right thing. Actually, don't underestimate either of them TBH. It works for once.
Bonus points: It's rare to see James and Tom working together. I love their team up scenes. They usually have great chemistry. The Coming of Time for example is gold because of this alone.
B'Elanna, Triah and Harry ran over to him.
Jessie ran over to James and she gave him a hug. She quickly pushed him away, glaring at him.
Look at how many groupies that has earned him. Tom knows it was worth it. Look at schmuck James only getting the one, and even then she's "mean" to him.
Though Jessie is perfectly in character here. Relieved he's okay then angry that he's done something stupidly suicidal and reckless to save her. Hello Jessie, where have you been?
"What the hell did you think you were doing! You could of been killed!" she yelled angrily.
"Gee, I'm sorry mum," James said sarcastically. Jessie calmed down a bit.
Oooophhh no. So close.
"It's okay, if it wasn't for you, I'd be dead. Another thing, don't call me mum, I'm not that old," Jessie said. They both laughed.
AGAIN, SO CLOSE. Jessie would probably still be mad and I dunno if she'd find this at all funny. Though she does like to tease him with fake scolding. This isn't what this is. It doesn't feel like anything.
Still, it's better than this:
"Tom, are you okay?" B'Elanna asked.
"Yeah, thanks," Tom said.
Um... this is the same episode they got engaged right? Did I use up all my shippy energy with the James/Jessie bit. That'd explain the mum part.
Q2 made his way to the balcony overlooking the entire factory. All of the holographic teachers were working on building ten foot tall robots.
"Teachers of the North East! You have completed my Q'Ataurs. But frankly I'm sick of your ugly faces and your dull personalities. You will return to the construction and kill yourselves in a brutal way," Q2 said loudly.
Yes I'm sure the majority of people reading Holo Q know where Newcastle is, so North East will mean something to them.
Kill yourselves in a brutal way.
What? I know they're holograms but WHAT? I doubt this was in the movie.
All of the holograms dropped what they were doing and they headed out of the door. Damien appeared with his rabbits.
"Excellent, my plans are being carried out. Now my rabbits will destroy these teachers and then I'll destroy the world," he laughed.
Why would you want to destroy the holographic teachers?? The world? Have you forgotten where you are? You're on no world that's for sure.
Togepi, Marill and Raichu appeared. Raichu grabbed him by the ear and she dragged him through a dimensional portal. They disappeared. "Oh well, the rabbits are being pulled away again," his voice yelled.
"Ohno, not you again, but you, I don't know who you are," Q2 said as he pointed to Togepi. Raichu screamed and Damien jumped back out of the portal.
"Bwahahahahahaha!" he laughed evilly. "Nothing is going to stop me now!" he yelled. One of the teachers stopped when he saw Damien.
Not who again, and he knows about Togepi? Did I miss something?
What did Damien do to Raichu?
"Damien, what are you doing here? Do you realise the opportunities of blah, blah, blah!" he blabbered on. The Old Man appeared.
Oh look one of the holograms of a teacher is a real teacher that taught Damien and remembers him. A hologram in Voyager's database. That makes sense.
Yeah I know why this is here and it should be gone. It makes little sense now with the edits. Nope not explaining it.
"Hey, he stole my job, in my day anyone who stole someone else's job got his head put on the block..." the Old Man blabbered. Q2 got bored of the headmaster's opportunities and infrastructure speech and the Old Man's stories.
I'm sympathising more with Q2 with every passing sentence. Even Damien's pretty dull here.
"You will never destroy the teachers without the rabbits help! Bwhahahaha!" Damien laughed evilly.
Marill held out her Bush CD player and she brought out her Pokémon 2000 CD. She put it into the CD player.
"Ha, listen to the torture of the new version of Pokémon World," Marill yelled. The CD started to spin inside the CD player.
Last time on Marill Re-Reads Collective Instinct:
"Shh, Pokémon World is coming on, I'll turn it up," Marill's voice said. Pokémon World by Youngstown and Nobody's Angel came on and the volume grew.
"What's that music?" Tom asked.
"I don't know, but it's quite catchy," Craig said and he started to dance. Triah smacked him on the head.
Pfft, original Pokemon World is the GOAT.
And now the WTF?
Um. So in a space of one episode I've gone from thinking the new version is catchy to thinking it's bad enough to torture Damien.
Ten minutes later:
"It'll stop spinning soon," Marill said angrily, she was very tempted to kick the CD player, but she's never done that before (sarcasm alert).
Oh yeah, the old CD player. The one that was replaced with the GOD MACHINE that Firera fell in love with a few episodes ago. Take that continuity obsessors.
A few hours pass:
Everyone but Marill had fell asleep. She was ready to explode but she wasn't the only one. She nearly died in shock when the CD player stopped spinning. "See, I told you!" she yelled happily.
Everyone woke up and they assumed their original positions.
Okay I hate interruptions especially from the writers, even in episodes exactly alike to their originals but I kinda like this. I still like jokes like this.
Damien screamed, "oh, my ears!" Suddenly he exploded (not really, he had to blast off somehow). He flew away with the rabbits. "We're blasting off again!" he yelled. *PING!*
Um... I'll admit it, I giggled.
Insert Harry disappointed in no gorry bodies joke here.
Though, he talked about rabbits but I don't remember them being mentioned as being there. Did they follow him when Raichu dragged him into the portal and back out again?
"Ooops, don't worry it'll play again," Raichu said, she pressed play, and it did what it usually did, nothing. "It'll do it this time!" Raichu exclaimed. She touched the CD player, it was boiling hot. "OW!" she screamed.
Marill got very angry and she pressed the play button, it did the same thing, nothing. Steam started coming out of her ears. She kicked it really hard. Suddenly it blew up.
Marill, Raichu and Togepi were also flying through the air. There was a big hole in the factory. "Wow, the view is great from here," Raichu said.
Nope, Damien blasts off better than you guys. I'm still ok with you leaving though.
"Er, Marill, your CD was in there," Togepi said.
"Oh s***!" Marill screamed.
"Oh well, at least you kept the receipt," Raichu muttered.
"Oh s***!" Marill screamed.
"Something tells me she didn't," Raichu muttered. They flew into the horizon.
Nope, Damien's not blowing up was still better. Nice try though, honest.
"Oh finally, I thought those Humans would never go away," Goldar muttered.
"Finally the moment of truth! Violent, let the power go!" Q2 ordered. The Bolian (Violent) pressed some buttons.
What, did I miss his christening?? Lol Violent. So creative.
Suddenly the two robots came to life. One was shaped like a spider and the other was big like but it had two legs and two arms. "Now my Q'Ataurs will destroy Voyager from the inside out, bwahahahahaha!" Q2 laughed evilly.
THE OTHER WAS "BIG LIKE". THAT'S SUCH A GEORDIE DESCRIPTION, I LOVE IT
MWahahahahahaha, they can't step outside, ahhahahahaha.
The away team finally emerged from the forest. They came across a large rocky wall with markings on. Suddenly the wall started shaking. The four imprinted figures in the wall started moving. All of a sudden the figures came to life and they jumped out of the wall holding sharp weapons.
Hmm. The scene that follows is probably shorter than the reboot's version of this opening bit. I'd bet all of my money on it.
"What do we do?" Jessie asked.
"Panic," James replied
Oh, braver James has taken a nap. The dino bit must have tired him out, poor baby.
Harry got chased by one of them up the cliff face. Jessie was next. She jumped onto a rock and she started to climb up the cliff face. The creature made her trip up with it's weapon.
"Oh damn, this isn't my day," she moaned as she continued to climb the cliff.
You're not wrong. James is back to being a coward and she's still getting into danger.
Oh and I'm tired of this got business. It's far more annoying than the constant of's (I still accidentally type must of for example, sometimes) and it's.
Tom also started to head up the cliff face.
Triah got attacked by one. She kicked it but it knocked her to the ground.
WHAT DID I JUST SAY?
At least Holo Q tries sometimes to do fight scenes. They're not great, fighting's not my strong suit since I've never been in a real fight but... wow.
Harry reached a dead end, a drop to boiling hot water. Tom was way ahead of him.
WELL TOM'S DEAD. THAT WAS FAST.
Nope, didn't think that one through. Tom's way ahead of him, as in he saw it coming and was already working on the solution. Sigh.
"Hang on Harry," Tom muttered as he climbed further up the cliff face. Harry pushed past the creature just before it attacked him. "Ever played Leap Frog?" Tom joked as he jumped down to the creature's back. It grabbed his arms and he threw him off it's back. Tom slipped off the edge, he clung on but the creature was playing a more violent version of This Little Piggy.
Wait, Harry was quoted as gotting chased up the cliff face. He reaches the dead end. Tom gots to the rescue by climbing up the cliffface, so he actually is literally ahead of him. Then he jumps "down" onto Harry's pursuer's back.
I'm so confused. No wonder I was stuck on the reboot version of this. I couldn't picture Tom and Harry's placements from what I had.
Harry snook up behind the creature. "Hey rock head," Harry said. The creature turned but Harry pushed it off the cliff into the boiling water. Harry helped Tom up.
Hey rock head.
I dunno if this was the original line, it sounded like it to me. It's awful, should've took the time to think of a better one.
Triah ran into another dead end. She noticed a large gap in the rock face. She climbed inside. The creature tried to stab her with it's weapon.
"Somebody help!" she yelled. B'Elanna ran up to it and she hit it hard. It turned to attack her.
Sorry, got mixed up with my damsel in distresses. B'Elanna's taken anyway, SHAME.
"Hey, lets talk about this," B'Elanna muttered. The creature lunged forward. "I guess not," B'Elanna said. She backed off.
You know the action and line could've been someone else but B'Elanna and it'd fit. Tom or Harry, Triah for that matter. I imagine it fitting Harry more, dunno why. Harry had to be there for the leapfrog rubbish, so nm.
Jessie ran behind a large loose rock. She tried to push it, it was moving but very slowly. "Oh come on, roll!" she moaned. The creature caught up with her. Somebody tapped it on the shoulder.
Yep, I can remember how "oh come on, roll" is said. How many times did I see this film?
"Excuse me, but can I just distract you for a brief second?" a familiar voice asked.
KRYTEN! Why are you here? Please tell me you have the erase from existence gauntlet from the same episode that line's from.
It turned around and it lunged for its distracter, but he had already moved to the side. The creature lost it's balance and it fell down the cliff.
"They're strong, but they're not to smart," James said with a grin.
Well I guess it wouldn't have seen that episode and wouldn't have known it was a distraction. Groan.
Did you notice? James once again helps out without doing any kind of fighting. I'm telling you, it's ridiculous.
Nope, had to have him instead do a stupid tap tap, made you look, side step while it's charging for him (again!) maneuver.
He walked up to Jessie and they both pushed the rock. The rock finally moved faster.
"What is this, pick on the Phrog day?" Harry moaned.
I didn't get this in the film either. It's not a pun, and the character hated being associated with the frog. Unless the prince analogy made him love it? *shrug*
"The thought's crossed my mind!" Harry yelled. Tom held onto one end, he threw the other end down to the bottom. Harry grabbed it as Tom jumped backwards. Harry went up as one creature tried to attack but instead it cut the other creature in half.
Tom arrived at the bottom. "Talk about a spitting headache," Tom joked.
Um. Don't you mean "splitting headache"?
That would have been a better example of a (not mine) pun if it wasn't typo'd. Sheesh.
Meanwhile the others were holding vines on top of the tree branches. "Are you guys ready?" Tom yelled. Everyone nodded, then jumped down. They all knocked the last creature. It stumbled backwards into the rock face. The impact caused more rocks to come tumbling down. This crushed the creature.
I bet James was on the ground, taunting the last creature to stay in that spot so the others could kick it.
I suppose it still counts as avoiding writing him fighting. Everyone does this. I avoid naming him.
They all gathered together above the away team. Suddenly there was a flash of light. Once again, the team was back in their original outfits and they all had a ball in their hands.
HAHAHA I forgot about the ninja outfits. Maybe I wanted to.
"We've got the power!" Harry exclaimed. James and Jessie, as usual, give each other a big hug. Tom and Harry hi-fived each other.
Yes that includes Harry and Tom too.
B'Elanna can go for Triah after all. Everyone wins.
Seriously, do I need to do a James and Jessie hug counter? It's early FV, hugs generally happen when I'm too embarrassed to make them kiss. You saw the Tom/B'Elanna engagement right, there's your proof. MIND'S BLOWN. OMG. My god you two, get a room.
"All right. Lets do that thing that Q told us to do," Tom said. He pressed his comm badge. Nothing happened.
"Why isn't it working?" Triah asked.
"It only means one thing, Q2 has attacked again," B'Elanna said.
Yeah he said commbadges, but all you got was a Pokéball so... I'd say it means something else entirely. Haha you got scammed sweetheart.
"Can we tap some power into the transporters so we can transport back?" Jessie asked.
"I'll do it," B'Elanna said. She took off her comm badge, she fiddled with it for a few minutes. She put it back on. She double clicked it and the away team dematerialised.
Oh s$$$, our thing that Q told us would work thanks to his influence that would actually bring us back to the ship, no questions asked, didn't work. Let me botch something up in a paragraph. There, sorted. Crisis over.
What was the point in this? Why couldn't Q's modified commbadges work with the power like he said? That was a stretch sure, but Q stuff usually is. Why have it not work and then fix it in a few lines. It wastes little time and creates no tension. In fact it just raises the bull$$$$ metre this episode already has broken even more.
I'm pretty sure it's related to the Games, the replacement for the Reboot Icons, but hey. Until they make an appearance I'm gonna continue to call it as it is, which is useless filler to up the word count. Ah those were the days where I had to try. Nowadays episodes get split up if the count's too high.
The Shuttle Bay:
The holographic robots, the Q'Ataurs, appeared and they started destroying the shuttles.
"Janeway to all hands, abandon ship. Repeat, abandon ship."
Nope, they're not real. They're still holograms. Trashing the ship, or rather trashing the shuttle bay.
There's nothing wrong with this AT ALL. MAKES PERFECT SENSE.
Crewman scattered everywhere to find shuttles that hadn't been destroyed. Q2 and Goldar were standing on a higher level. Q2 clicked his fingers and he transported crewmembers who were in shuttles into other parts of the ship.
HERE'S AN IDEA, ESCAPE PODS
"Crew of Voyager, how do you like my friends?" Q2 laughed. The robots destroyed another shuttle. "The boys are back in town!" Q2 yelled.
"Long live, the king of Q!" Goldar yelled. He and Q2 hifived each other.
I think your new friends are cheating b$$$$$. I also don't like the spider one, but that's expected.
Also where's Violent*snigger*?
Q appeared in a flash of light.
"Q's robots have been repaired, they are being sustained by the holo emitters in the shuttle bay," he said. The whole Engineering crew gathered around him.
"I told you, Kathy, my powers don't have any effect. I don't know why," Q said.
You're testing my lack of patience Holo Q.
"Q, I thought you said they could divert the great power straight to Voyager using their comm badges," Chakotay said.
"Q found out. He managed to destroy the system I gave you. I managed to fix the transporter part so that they could get back," Q said.
F$$$ off with that ass pull. It added nothing to the story other than roughly 50 words.
"We have no choice now, they have the great power, they might be able to stop those creatures," Kathryn said.
"Only the power of the Game Creatures can stop them, phaser fire would just be reflected," Q said.
I have a question.
Yeah they're holograms, but they obviously don't have the safeties holding them back or they wouldn't be able to trash the shuttle bay.............. though it makes no sense they can go in there. But anyway, yeah phasers should work if safeties are off.
I get it, I think. Only holograms can fight holograms. If we ignore the safeties crap and the fact that the Game Creatures haven't been explained as such yet.
No forget it, it's a load of crap.
"Not just any Game Creatures, only the Game Creatures of the Y'Jeti can stop those creatures," Q said.
So out of 300 ish types of Game Creatures (now over 700, and probably just under 1000 come November), only Charizard, Arbok, a different version of Togepi's final evolution, a fire Marill and a sodding unevolved Chikorita can destroy two giant holographic robots that defy the holo-rules already?
This is the excuse for not even trying to program different ones to stop Q2? I get that he has a stranglehold on Holodeck 2, but you didn't even try or you weren't shown doing so. This scene proves that you didn't. I'm glad again I thought about it reboot time and figured that the original scenes show Q2's holodeck presence affected the current program running, probably merged with it and so the Holodeck would be too damaged and under his control for Voyager to use. But Holodeck 1 wouldn't be.
And no it's not cos I had 15 years to think about it. I looked at this episode, made a lot of notes, thought the story through, noticed that there could be a hidden point to this episode and used it even if I was wrong, in a space of about a month. Yeah you're right, it's still longer than the day it probably took to write the original version. Shutting up.
"Didn't you give the away team access to those things in their first away mission?" Kathryn asked.
"They were holographic versions, they were destroyed when Q attacked Engineering," Q said.
Okay. You admitted that you already gave the awayteam versions of the Y'Jeti chosen six. At least we can move on from one of the many flaws of this episode.
But it does raise eyebrows "they were holo versions", when the so called real things can't be used outside holographic environments later. Am I imagining this????
"Er, the away team is still in the transporter buffer," Craig muttered.
"Beam them to the Shuttle Bay, Seven I want them to have access to those things just like before," Kathryn said.
Janeway can't bring herself to calling them anything; Pokémon, Game Creatures, Y'Jeti, Coincidence machines. Things. I agree that's all they should be referred to as.
Oh and no one blinks an eye to the Shuttle Bay has holo emitters thing? Yeaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh
"Er, Kathy, they are only the holographic versions, they will be nothing compared to the creatures," Q said. She glared at him.
Holograms can be whatever you want them to be. You're a Q as well. Why did you give them lower levelled versions Q? WTF?
"Captain, I can't get those holo creatures operating, I'm afraid the away team's on their own, there isn't enough power to beam them here," Craig said.
I'm confused again.
I get Craig being unable to reactivate the holograms from Part 1, despite Q's stupid objections to them being weaker than the real deal despite him giving them to the awayteam to deal with this *eye roll*. It's the beam them here part.
She told him to beam them to the Shuttle Bay. He says here. Is he trying to beam them out of the Shuttle Bay because the holograms failed, or just for whatever reason, and can't because he used up the power to transport them to the Shuttle Bay like he was told. Or are they still stuck in the transporter buffer? HALP
"They will be okay, that power will protect them," Seven said. Q patted her on the back.
"That's the spirit Seven Of Twelve," Q said.
"It's Seven Of NINE!" Seven exclaimed.
I've figured it out. This Q IS an imposter. This is all one big con, a joke at Voyager's expense. It all makes sense now. The holo robots marching around the ship, the silly trials involving dinosaurs, giving the awayteam weaker versions of the GREAT POWER, the Great Power being a bunch of mostly lowkey Pokémon. I'm onto you.
"Wait, what's that smell? I think some more Humans are attempting to get back into the shuttle bay," Q2 said.
What are you worried about? It's not like there are any holo emitters here. Why would there be?
"It's not possible," Goldar muttered.
The away team dematerialised next to a severely damaged shuttle.
"Looks like Q's been busy," Tom muttered.
This is why I don't do the "Muttered Count" throughout. These reviews are big enough. They've become the text equivalent of white noise anyway. Most of the time I don't even notice them anymore. There are rare moments though.
Oh and my confusion above still not answered. They hadn't even transported in yet. So it was neither of my theories. YAY
"Er, I think it's that," James replied as he pointed behind them. Everyone turned around and they say the spider type robot. Suddenly they heard large footsteps behind them. They all turned around and they saw the taller robot.
"There's another one," B'Elanna said.
"Eew, it's even uglier," Triah moaned. It fired on the shuttle and it blew up.
Oh Triah's back to being Kimberley.
"We've got to stop these things," Harry said.
Yeah, if they keep this up we'll only have 10 shuttles left. It'll take a whole week to replenish what we've lost.
"We've got the real Game Creatures, lets use them," Tom said. Everyone nodded. Everyone threw their Pokéballs.
Groan. I'm just... I'm not, I don't care anymore.
"All right guys, lets rock 'n' roll!" Tom exclaimed.
I'm sure this line's already been used during the rock rolling part.
Sheesh. At least that one made sense.
Charizard opened it's mouth and a ball of fire emerged from it's mouth. It hit the creature but it fired it's weapon's at Charizard. It's wing was hit, and it flew back to the ground.
STOP TYPING IT'S. STOP. STOP
IT'S STILL A BAD HABIT OF MINE BUT I 99% OF THE TIME SPOT IT AND FIX IT.
IT'S LITERALLY EVERY DAMN TIME
ALSO LOOK UP YOU'RE AND YOUR. FUUUUUU
Oh and on a lighter note. So called uber powered Charizard goes out like a chump. A flamethrower, one of the highest powered fire attacks does not damage the metal robot.
Harry watched what happened. "Don't worry B'Elanna, we'll take care of it," he said. Phrog jumped in front of him. "Phrog, use your tongue as a wrap attack!" Harry ordered.
Phrog's long tongue emerged from it's mouth and it grabbed a hold of the robot's leg. It fired at Phrog but it missed.
Flamethrower versus Wrap. No contest. If Flamethrower failed, why would Wrap do any damage... to a metal robot. This was written when Steel typing was a thing, right? Yeah yeah it's probably not steel but whatevers, it's written like a Pokémon match. AND IT MISSES THE FROG CURRENTLY ENGAGED IN TYING UP ITS LEG, BUT HIT THE FLYING NOTDRAGON. BULLLLLLL
Oh and btw, Phrog attacks the robot's leg with its tongue. It's a long shot I know but remember this when much later episodes in Season Four reference the Holo Q creatures.
"Bad move, if you play with fire you're going to get burned. Phrog, use your thunder bolt!" Harry ordered.
Um. Power Rangers line, check. Makes no sense, check. If B'Elanna said this, I might have forgiven it. Might. But Phrog must be a part lightning type or it already was given a TM before he got it. I assume it'll be water or poison for its main typing. How does fire work in this little pun? IT DOESN'T.
Tom and Chikorita ran up to Harry. "Chikorita, use your vine whip," Tom ordered. Chikorita's vine whips emerged from it's sides and they grabbed a hold of one of the robot's legs. But it wasn't it's leg, it was it's tail, it started swinging it's tail with Chikorita still attached to it.
DAMN IT TOM, YOU HAD ONE JOB. AND THAT WASN'T TO USE YOUR MAKE SOMETHING RUN INTO A WALL TACTIC AGAIN, AGAIN.
AND HAHA CHIKORITA CHUMP, THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR TRYING TO PRESENT YOURSELF AS ONE OF THE GREETEST OF ALL TIME. Charizard in league with, you are not.
Jessie and Firera ran up to the second robot. "Firera, use your Fire Spin,"
Ahem, Jessie you're definitely aware of Pokémon right. You've mentioned it enough times. Good okay, now that that's cleared up. STOP USING SODDING FIRE SPIN. IT SUCKS. IT'S A FIRE WRAP. IT'S A MADE UP POKÉMON, USE FLAMETHROWER
The robot fired a weapon at Firera, both the fire and the weapon collided and it bounced back to Firera. It collapsed, Jessie ran over to it.
SEE. ANOTHER CHUMP BITES THE DUST. AND I THINK I KNOW WHY
Arbok and James quickly came over too. "Don't worry Jess, Arbok's strong, it'll fix that thing," James said. Jessie recalled Firera. "Arbok, use your Wrap attack." Arbok coiled itself around the robot. The robot tried to throw Arbok off it but it was too strong.
Ok, I could forgive the dinosaur bit, the rolling the rock, and perhaps the pull Jessie down as birds attack you both. There's two points to those. James is overprotective or in this episode just eager to keep her safe, and the other is to foreshadow James' future role in the series. THIS? He uses Arbok. You might get away with the first point, if Jessie was in danger. She wasn't. Firera was.
You know what this is, blatant men coming to women's rescue because they can't do it themselves. Harry did it to B'Elanna as well. You saw this coming.
Sexist crap against my own gender count: 3
Also I like Arbok, or I did. My latest nostalgia playthrough though of Red I dumped it before it even evolved because my team of Venusaur, Drowzee, Growlithe, Fearow and Raticate were kicking more butts than it, and I needed a space for my Eevee/Jolteon. And even then another team member's gonna get dumped for Lapras or Dewgong later, if it survived here it would've gone then. It is not strong. If anything, I liked Arbok because it needed a bit more strategy to use it IMO. A sweeper it is not.
The scene sucks and everything, BUT it's actually a lengthily fight scene with actual descriptions of what's happening. It's the only positive critique I can give it. That's all you're getting Holo Q. You're not leaving the table till you've eaten it, or it's bedtime. No supper for you.
Anyway more Power Rangers ripoffs.
Meanwhile Triah and Togeta were flying towards Q2. "Okay, time to boogie with the Q," she said.
1) At least Kimberley and Triah actually try to attack the problem at the source. Gotta give them credit for that.
2) It's stupid though. Very stupid. Like Neelix stupid in Part 1.
3) It doesn't work, BUT I don't remember her needing to be rescued from this. It's progress.
"Triah, use your Agility!" Jessie yelled.
"Okay, Togeta use your Agility," Triah ordered. Togeta suddenly sped off.
Holy s$$$ a girl helped her? What is this? I thought this was Holo Q, not most of FV's later episodes.
Agility wouldn't save her though. Game wise, it may give her one shot at an attack... after he had a move himself BTW. Anime wise, which is probably what I was going for, she could dart around a bit. Maybe "select RUN Triah" would've been more appropriate for what happened.
The first robot threw Chikorita off it's tail. It went flying into Tom's arms. Unfortunately Chikorita wasn't the only thing that flew off the creatures tail. The end had fell off and this sticky substance came splashing out. (No it isn't what you think it is you perverts!)
GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER
You know what, I know I had a filthy mind even back at 15, but I'm surprised I knew that this could be seen as filthy. I was filthy minded but hopelessly naive too. A great combination.
But um, how does Chikorita falling off the tail manage to dislodge it? Even with its vine whip, which I doubt he/she still had once it fell, because it went flying. Google Chikorita and come back to me. Does it look like a mighty beast that can pull off a robot tail?
The stuff hit Tom. "Eeew, oozed," he muttered. Phrog started struggling to keep a hold of the robot's leg.
I WANT ORIGINAL LINES THAT AREN'T POKÉMON BATTLE MOVES. I CAN TAKE SOME STUPID IF NECESSARY.
Oh and lol, Phrog's still making out with the robot leg. And FYI I can't remember which robot is which at the moment.
"Disengage, Charizard's back in the game!" B'Elanna yelled as she and Charizard came flying towards them.
Yep, everyone stop what you're doing. First Chump is back! I see Charizard is hogging the Mary Sue spotlight even back in 2001.
"Charizard, use your Rage attack!" B'Elanna ordered.
Really, someone could've sat these idiots down for five minutes and listed the good attacks. Rage will do sod all if the robot doesn't fight it back. It definitely does not do this:
Charizard's eyes glowed and a huge ball of fire emerged from it's mouth. It hit, full blast, and the robot blew up.
Rage is a normal attack. Normal, as in non elemental like a kick or punch. FU. I think, it's not a move I like to use, it attacks normally unless someone hits it back and then that move gets stronger. I did play these games, so WTF is this? I mean, it makes sense that B'Elanna wouldn't know what moves to use. That'd be fine, I'd be down with that and it'd have potential for humour and good storytelling. What happens though is the Creatures use clearly different moves to what they're told, and we're meant to believe this is what Rage is. God.
Meanwhile, the other robot overpowered Arbok and it threw it to the ground.
"They've destroyed my beautiful creation. Now I'm beginning to get very angry!" Q2 exclaimed. Goldar cowered behind the balcony. Q2 disappeared. The robot started changing shape.
Damn it Arbok. One job. You had one job. Disengage so Charizard can do what it wants. SHEESH
OH AND OOZE-Q SMASH, YOU DON'T WANNA SEE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY
"Eew, I'm going to be sick," Triah moaned. The robot changed into a bigger version of Q2.
"Wow, someone called the Plastic Surgeon," Jessie muttered.
SHUT UP WITH THESE POWER RANGERS QUOTES. SHUT UP SHUT IT
"Quick take cover in the Delta Flyer!" Tom yelled. Everyone called back their Game Creatures and they ran to the Delta Flyer which wasn't damaged since Marill is writing this scene.
Of course the Delta Flyer was one of the shuttles that were ok. Thanks Marill??
For a moment I forgot this huge battle was taking place in a shuttle bay filled with the wreckage of probably hundreds of shuttles. OH GOD
Oh yeah they take cover in the Flyer because Q2 takes over the last remaining robot, the one I assume has a leaky tail.
"I'll take over now. Now it's time for some Delta Flyer bashing!" Raichu's voice said.
"Nooooooooooooo!" Marill's voice screamed.
I'm not mad, I did ask for different lines. If this is what it takes, so be it.
OH WHAT A SCHEME INDEED. COPY POWER RANGERS TO DEATH SO ANYONE READING SAYS "ORIGINAL LINES PLEASE, I'LL TAKE ANYTHING", THEN MARILL AND CO ARE FREE TO FOURTH WALL WRITERS THE SERIES TO OBLIVION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THE READER "WANTS". OMG SO EVIL
The Delta Flyer started to fly towards the door. It wouldn't open. Q2 grabbed the shuttle. He flung it across the bay.
"We've got to get the doors open, we cant battle in here!" Harry yelled.
Haha I'm imagining this in the tiny shuttle bay we've seen in a few episodes, and I've got the image of a robot with a face poking the wall with the Flyer over and over. Come on, cos that's all that would happen in this small space.
"Jessie, fire torpedoes at the doors, we'll worry about repairs later," Tom ordered.
"Fine," Jessie muttered and she ran to what was left of the Tactical control. The Delta Flyer rose again and it fired torpedoes into the door. It exploded, the shuttle flew through the wreckage.
Oh party time's over.
Meanwhile on Phados Two, the Q Snowcone was inside a space station orbiting the planet. Miss Q and Lord Q saw the Delta Flyer being chased by a robot version of Q2.
"So it's that double timing nobody!" Miss Q squeaked.
"Lets hope Voyager puts that clown out of my misery!" Lord Q squeaked.
Oh yeah, we've got to show this too. Can't break away from the Power Rangers film once, even if it is for something clearly not needed. YAY
"Two days ago Seven detected a comet, if we get Q into the comet's path then..." B'Elanna said.
OOPS I FORGOT THE COMET THING. SHOULD'VE MENTIONED IT AT THE BEGINNING LIKE THE FILM. MAYBE I SHOULD ED... NAH IT'LL BE FINE
The Delta Flyer flew into empty space and it came to a dead stop. Q2 caught up with them and he grabbed the shuttle again.
Don't you mean Q2 HAD caught up with them. This makes it seem like the Flyer stops for no reason and Q2 catches up because of it.
"Have you hugged your shuttles lately?" Q2 laughed.
Hmm er... was the original line "have you hugged your zords today?" Cos if not, that's embarrassing. More so anyway.
"I can't break his grip," Tom said.
"Try the landing struts, it'll push him away long enough for us to fly away," James said.
Actually... that's a clever idea. Dunno what the zords do but I'm betting it's a similar one.
I have a faint memory of a kick in the nuts for some reason. I don't fancy looking it up. I'm at work so Youtube searching Power Rangers kicks Ooze in the nuts isn't the best idea.
At home edit: Checked. Yep. Kicked in the nuts, and to do it Yellow slammed "For Emergency Use Only" button. Yep. Couldn't have topped that so didn't bother. Flyer's possibly non existent struts work well.
Suddenly there was a huge explosion. The Delta Flyer escaped the shock wave and they headed back to Voyager.
Where they pressed the Reset Button and everyone lived happily ever after until Timeline.
Everyone was yelling and cheering. Tom and B'Elanna hugged each other. Triah and Harry hi-fived each other. James hi fived Jessie. Tom realised he had to pilot the shuttle so he and B'Elanna separated so that he could pilot.
Celebrations amongst this group only seem to be hi fives (god their hands must hurt by now), jumping around like kids, and hugging. I wouldn't notice if it didn't keep happening.
I "like" the way I had noticed the repetitiveness too and reworded James and Jessie's hi five so it was "different". Nice try.
"I think we should celebrate. Harry, lets get some Champagne," Triah said. Harry nodded and they both went to the other room. B'Elanna chased after them.
Now you're talking. Something different.
Power Rangers the film is over. Roll credits.
Tom laughed as he saw the state of Voyager. The Shuttle Bay doors looked worse for where. "I think we're in trouble," Tom muttered. James and Jessie laughed at him.
HEY WHO FORGOT THE RESET BUTTON?
"I think we should transfer the power to Voyager. We can do it from the shuttle," Tom said. He pressed some controls. A few minutes later he contacted Engineering. "Paris to Janeway."
"Tom, are you and the rest of the away team okay?"
Hey now, why didn't anyone do this before? They clearly had a lot of shuttles, so why not feed their power into Voyager instead of lingering around Engineering waiting like sad chumps. YES CHUMPS AGAIN. ALL OF THEM ARE CHUMPS.
Tom docked the shuttle in what was left of the shuttle bay. He ran into the back room yelling, "hey guys, replicate a few bottles, we're going to Engineering!"
YEAH PARTAY TIME IN ENGINEERING. I'M SURE TUVOK AND NEELIX WILL BE HAPPY TO WAIT FOR THEIR LIFE SAVING TREATMENTS IF IT MEANS SOME BOOZE FIRST.
OH AND SHUT UP. SHIPPY TIME.
"Thanks, James, you saved me a couple of times on that planet," Jessie muttered when they were alone.
"Hey what are friends for?" James replied. She stood up from her console.
HOLY S$$$ JAMES HAS SWITCHED SEXES. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?
Nope, it's just FV's weird way of doing things. Character 1 speaks. Character 2 acts on same line. Character 2 speaks on next line. Easy pickings for parody, I'll say.
She put her hand on his face and she kissed his cheek.
WHY HASN'T HOLO Q LISTENED TO ME SO FAR. WHY NOW?
Unknown to her Tom had came back into the room.
"Oooh!" Tom said. The pair turned to face him, both were red. James was embarrassed and Jessie was angry.
Tom: Hell yeah, free awkwardly written amateur shipper pron.
Yeah, put that hand on his face... oh yeah that's hot.
"TOM!" she screamed.
"Uhoh, I really did it this time," Tom muttered. He ran back into the other room. He was yelling something about sealing the door. Jessie ran to the door anyway but she couldn't get through it.
James' embarrassed, he didn't really do anything but get a cheek kiss, Tom walks in and acts like a little teenager about it. Yeah I buy it.
Jessie, I suppose she's extra sensitive about her relationship with James. Hint that they're a couple and she goes bats$$$. Actually see her do something non platonic, though a kiss cheek is hardly OMG CANON TIME FOR THE BABIES, yeah I still sorta buy it. So why am I picking? It reminds me of Test of Time trying to rewrite history by telling the readers she's more sensitive about being called Jesse James than something legitimate like this.
"Damn you Tom! I'll kill you when you get out of there! You'll wish you had never been born!" Jessie yelled while banging on the door.
She heard B'Elanna, Triah & Harry muttering, "So?" Tom obviously had told the three about what he saw.
Jessie's reaction: Extreme but she's in character, coupled with what she did. Check.
Triah, Harry and B'Elanna's reaction: Normal people reacting. So? Yeah, exactly you three. Exactly. Check.
Tom knows how Jessie will react to the slightest thing, actually voices "oh I really pissed her off this time" with his ooooohwoooo, then goes and gossips about it in earshot of her. He's a sucker for pain and he knows what to do to get it.
This is why he's the one always getting the bad luck, why Jessie hates him enough to keep a One Punch/Pan An Episode rota. It's a shame it took this long to show it, even if it's an exaggeration of my interpretation of Tom's original character.
"Er, Jess, why did you do that?" James asked, he was still red.
"He saw us!" she yelled a little too loudly.
You know, it's sometimes written like a well... naive kid wrote it, duh, but I think Jessie's insecurities is actually a pretty good character arc and does actually make sense when you think about it. Spoilers for Test of Time and its review. All her life she's been teased about being "ugly", the jokes about her only friend being a boy usually were "haha even her best boy friend doesn't want her". She never cared about what gender James was, he was her best friend and he earned her trust. It's insulting to her that they'd think their relationship was only going in one of two directions: coupledom or "friendzone" leading to fallout.
So, some episodes have hinted or in Unforgettable's case flat out said she's attracted to him after all. It proves those bullies right, and just now she's proved Tom right too. Yeah she's angry at Tom and lashes out, but she'll be more pissed off at herself for this. If a relationship did happen then it'd obviously be hidden from everyone to save face. It's also likely she'd ignore any signs that James returns those feelings, so she can keep hers to herself, remain friends and continue to prove the sexist bullies wrong.
Yeah yeah I know the if's and likely's make no sense now that I have a finished series, but hey, I thought I write enough spoilers in Season One reviews. I'm not saying one way or another what happens with these two.
I started out hating their naivety and childish denials, but it does actually make sense with their backstory and personalities. So yep, okay with this.
"That's not what I meant," James said. They both heard Tom laughing behind the door. James went over to a console and he fiddled with the transporter controls.
HE'S STILL DOING IT. HE DOES NOT LEARN.
BEAM HIM INTO SPACE... or Neelix's kitchen, whatever.
"What the h..." Tom's voice muttered.
"All right, Tom's gone to get some more party food," Harry's voice said.
"But how can we get to Engineering, Tom sealed all the doors to get away from Jessie," B'Elanna's voice asked.
No, James and Jessie are in the cockpit of the Flyer, they're the ones who are trapped in, not you. You guys ran into the back. Look again
He ran into the back room yelling, "hey guys, replicate a few bottles, we're going to Engineering!"
I know I had no idea where the exit is on the Flyer for ages, and had to look it up. It however was never going to be that room. Let's be realistic. The only door is used whilst in flight, and is usually followed by that same person going into the back. Duh!
But forgetting that, Harry and Triah think they're stuck too.
"Help!" Harry's voice yelled.
"In a minute!" James yelled.
YEAH SHUT UP, SHIPPY SCENE
"No, how about now," Jessie said.
"No, I want to know why you..." James said.
See, proving my point. Jessie does not want to talk about the cheek kiss. She sounds calmer than she did before, it's not cos she's angry. It's opened up a can of worms like you'd expect, and she probably wishes she could undo it.
James though. He doesn't have the same insecurities. I'll say now from what I know of him, and not from what the episode does, he values their friendship quite a bit. So much so he'd not want to risk it for ANYTHING. He has low self esteem and thinks that her liking him is in LOLNOPE territory. If he liked her, why would he threaten their friendship by asking someone like Jessie out, who he knows isn't the dating type and would freak out. Exactly, it'd be awkward and ruin their friendship. It's not worth it in his eyes. He'd prefer to remain friends with her regardless of how he feels.
However stuff like the cheek kiss is the kind of thing that throws him through a confused loop. It's something he rarely handles well, and as usual I write these scenes TERRIBLY. I'll get it right someday. He always comes off as "stop sending me signals woman!" entitlement, and that's not James whatsoever. It's meant to be more "why did you do that, I don't want to lose you over this."
Anyway, Holo Q's probably the least offensive of these scenes so, here goes.
"Oh fine, I don't know why I did it. It seemed right. Now are we going to get those guys out?" Jessie asked.
"Whatever," James muttered. He pressed some controls and all of them beamed out of the shuttle.
Trouble in paradise, ey?
Holo Q started with an engagement of one couple, had some Power Rangers fluff in the middle, and ended with a strained will they/won't they friendship. Well, why not?
Now before I go on, I have to explain something that I kept referencing. This ulterior motive. Throughout the episode you'll have noticed LOTS of mistakes that are too stupid even for me, at least that's what I think. Shuttle Bays with emitters, holo-robots walking and trashing across the ship to get to said Shuttle Bay, then flying about outside. Tuvok and Neelix's injuries being a matter of life and death completely forgotten about (though to be fair, I think that was a Season One style error, full stop).
I surely knew that probes aren't usually manned, and definitely knew that Holodecks were a new invention in Next Gen, which was 24th century. Not 23rd like the probe was. However this one doesn't really fit with this motive, so blah blah ignore this bit for now.
I knew Voyager pretty well when I wrote this, probably more than I do now as I haven't watched it in a long time (I watched bits of Night recently, for obvious reasons). I knew that the Doctor couldn't move across the ship without a mobile emitter. The only places he could were the Holodecks and Sickbay. Ooze Q does talk about trashing the whole ship. The emitter thing makes me think that it was sorta legit, since he would've attacked Engineering first... then I remember he's taunting the evacuating crew in that scene so *shrug*.
So what, I made stupid mistakes. It's not the first time. I dunno, I can't shake off the feeling that these mistakes shouldn't have happened. I knew I knew better. That's lead me to think these mistakes were intentional, and when I started to think about it some more, I noticed other things kinda backed me up.
It's not to say this intentional thing was true. I'd like to think so. Either way it inspired the rebooted version going down a similar route. So spoilers for Reboot Holo Q, aka Home Sweet Holodeck. So what is the theory:
That most of Holo Q takes place on the Holodeck. When the awayteam first sets foot on the Holodeck, they never walk out... until the beam out in the final line. That means Q2 doesn't leave either, which is my biggest non error clue. I'm divided over whether Thados was real or not*. Reboot wise I had to choose one.
Evidence? I'll run through top of my head:
1) As stated the Shuttle Bay shouldn't have emitters. It has no reason to. Nobody bats an eye, it's stated as if this is normal. Q2 wouldn't know this is rubbish.
2) Q claims he's neutered and never offers an explanation why. His powers are only used for transporting his chosen team to the Holodeck and then to guarantee a safe return from Phados... which doesn't work, but I'll get to that.
3) Q2 dies by asteroid/comet to the face. A Q, dies. If he could die so "easily", why the need to contain him? Surely Q would know this.
4) Q2 mentions a midnight deadline. Seven says there's a hurry, and apart from Tuvok, never says why they're in a hurry. There was no time to carry Tuvok to Sickbay, but plenty of time for an awayteam to quest on another planet. Sure.
5) It's probably a mistake but Tuvok dying was an incentive to get the power back. There is no follow through.
6) The robots definitely feel like more of a clue than an error. His holo-pod appears on Voyager's Holodeck, he's able to "brainwash" holograms to do his bidding, and that bidding is to dig up robots in the Newcastle program. I dunno, even with the idea that the programs merged, it feels stretchy. It feels like a way to keep Q2 distracted.
That's not proof Marill, that's conjecture. Oh yeah, then why were they buried? If they were in his program, why did he do that? He could've had them trashing the ship in seconds. This isn't a "oh he has minimal power" thing, any schmuck could've done this.
7) About that, Q2 proved he could trash Voyager quite well without the robots. Why did he build them anyway? I doubt it was to trash the probe. I assumed it was because the awayteam headed for Phados*, which as stated I'm still divided over whether it was a real place in Part 2 or part of the program. On the "it's real" side Q2 needed a weapon to combat the so called great power. Not proof of the theory yet, I know. The clue really lies in why only holo-robots, he's limited to where he can use them, so why is the ship being evacuated and via shuttles only, why does he take the time and waste it (remember, midnight deadline) by taunting them? If he's so worried about the great power, why does he limit himself to shuttle smashing holograms? What did he plan to do?
If he were in such a hurry to escape from the great power and the possibility of being trapped once more, why didn't he leave his robots to trash the place, and flee Voyager? I think because he couldn't. I'm not sure though if he knew this.
8) Voyager's weaponry being ineffective in this situation. I rolled my eyes a lot so it could be wishful thinking on my part, but only the real awayteam and what they picked up on Phados could fight Q2 himself. It wasn't about the robots, that was a stall at best and it's likely Q2 would notice. Q2 couldn't be harmed in his own program.
9) Seven knowing about Phados and everything about it, despite the no power and I doubt the Borg knowing about something clearly not assimilated, ie the great power.
10) Voyager manages to pull off a long distance transport of six to a planet, whilst the power is very low.
Ok I could go on, but this is looooong enough. Here's the barebones of what I think Holo Q was trying to do. A holo-pod clashes with a running Holodeck program but doesn't wake up the Q trapped inside it. His mates arrive and release him, while Q sends a chosen team to the Holodeck. They're not there to prevent the release so as soon as they arrive they meet this Q. He skedaddles, leaves a distraction for them, tries to destroy Voyager via Engineering. Only he has been tricked into thinking it was Voyager, when it's really an extension to the program he's in. The awayteam enter the fake Voyager too and are either sent to a real planet to repair Voyager and save Tuvok, transported by Q under the guise of Voyager's transporters. OR sent to a holographic version of this planet, since Q2 is in the holodeck he'll still think they're a threat. Q gaves them a vague "you'll be able to come back cos I did this", when he knows he can click them back when he's ready.
Q2 knows whats happening on this fake Voyager and sends minions to take care of the team. They fail due to some ridiculousness. He sets his sights on digging up and rebuilding some holo-robots, as he knows this great power isn't a power at all, but some powerful creatures (avoiding spoilers) that could be suaded to side against him and have the power to enslave/trap him (so much for avoiding spoilers), but will be restricted to holographic environments* (why I'm divided on this real or holodeck for Thados part). This distracts him, even though he knows time is ticking away. That time limit revolves around how long before he's either locked up again, or Voyager moves out of subspace range, or rather his pod does. Once the robots are complete, Janeway orders an evacuation despite it not being needed, and that distracts him some more. The awayteam return to the fake Voyager, distracting him further until time runs out with the erm... randomly out of nowhere comet.
The point is the crew are none of the wiser. The awayteam beam out of the Flyer, which is weird in itself even if James does it while he's in a huff. They probably notice they were tricked, B'Elanna at least anyway when she returns to Engineering. That's fine, Tuvok and Neelix are fine, the 100's of shuttles are fine. Q2 didn't die, he was merely locked up again with his two friends. James/Jessie are in a bit of a snag but other than that, everything's resolved.
Now the crew have six mysterious creatures on their ship, but that's a story for another day.
Phew that was long. So much for barebones. Though the long version is Holo Q's reboot, so... The negative and positives will ignore all of my theories/suspicions/excuses, and like the rest of the review will judge the episode with what it actually says and shows you. So yay I wasted your time and mine ;)
1) Why is Triah picked to give B'Elanna the note and the ring?
2) Kiara egged on to drink Bacardi and Cherry Coke like it's nothing. WTF?
3) Tom decides the perfect program to celebrate his engagement is a city he's probably never set foot in and teases the accent all the time. Don't get me started on the Millennium Bridge fiasco.
4) Q spoils Season Three's opening episode.
5) The Voyager probe and everything revolving around it. Holodecks, crews, them defeating a Q, and Borg assimilating it. Oh and the crew being dead only a few years later when the Borg got it. ALL STUPID. I may count this as 5 points, I dunno.
6) This ruins most of the episode so seems a shame to be 1 point but 90% of the episode shamelessly quotes the entire Power Rangers film.
7) The two sidekick Q's have no reason to hate Humans. I mean, reboot cooks up an easy one in five minutes but I really doubt that was it. The reason would've been Lord Z and Rita hate the Power Rangers.
8) Bringing Pokémon into this plot. The moves used are terrible, the actual mons picked are not consistent and are dumb. It's not alllllll bad... see Positives 5.
9) The writers still manage to squeeze their way in. DAT RABID DOGS SCENE.
10) Despite it being a positive, James' development into his present day persona doesn't go without a hitch. He's wildly inconsistent going from the Season One snivelling wimp to Present Day impulsively action oriented whenever the scene suits him. Also, making Jessie into the damsel/Pink Ranger to do all of this development is a slap in the face to what I had wanted to be a strong female character. Doh.
11) Q can't use a lot of his powers. Instead of saying "lol I'm not allowed to" or "lol solve some stuff yourself, dweebs", he keeps saying "I can't" or "for some reason Q's presence stops me." It's insulting to the readers.
12) The robots subplot is all round stupid. But we've been over that already. Even in my theory version of Holo Q it has issues.
13) Why did Q give them holograms of the Great Power 'mons, weaker ones at that? Also, why is it never mentioned or complained about that the power wasn't a literal power that could help Voyager charge up, but six 'mons that were useless to the plot.
14) Despite starting the episode with their engagement, Tom and B'Elanna have little to no interactions and when they do they're stale ("u ok" "yeah thanks" what?). The episode focuses more on James and Jessie's relationship than theirs. It's odd.
15) Q's method of bringing them home fails, but B'Elanna fixes it immediately. It's not tense, it's not clever. It's a big WTF? The reason is probably Q2 interference with a more powerful Q but was fixed by a mortal. HAHAHA NOPE.
16) The holograms are generated by the emitters in the SHUTTLE BAY. If I hadn't lost all of my possible readers by now, surely this or later mentions of the bay were what did FV in.
1) Tom and B'Elanna have a scene devoted to their engagement. It's nicely written, despite the need to force Triah into it.
2) The very basic idea for this story isn't that bad. A power neutered Q trapped in a Holodeck, despite that being a TNG plot *cough*, accidentally clashing with Voyager's Holodeck, cue chaos. If I had kept away from Power Rangers this could've been quite special.
3) James finally starts to slowly change into his Season Two-Present Day persona here. It's clear I was eager to change him and thought Holo Q was the best to do it in. It isn't perfect and messes with Jessie a bit, AND it didn't really take for a while (the next canon episode is Timeline, YIKES), but points for bothering.
4) Actual fight scenes with (basic) descriptions. They're not original, for the most part but still.
5) The Pokémon addition to the story was very, very naff BUT it SPOILERS OMG paved the way for the development of the Softmicron and their abilities.
Can't really complain about it, too much. Without that, I have no idea how I would've handled it. Might've been better or worse *shrug*
6) James' role in the series foreshadowed in silly animal spirit ritual description. Nice!
7) Despite it taking away from Tom/B'Elanna somehow, the James/Jessie material isn't half bad and is consistent with their personalities and backstory so far (counting Test of Time too to be fair).
8) Despite its flaws, Holo Q follows its planned story till the very end.
Marill's Rating: 2/10, making it only as good as Test of Time and Year of Hell. The curse of the 2 parters, ouch.
Exclaimed Count: 14 (111)
Muttered Count: 43 (244)
Motto Count: 0 (9)
Sexist crap against my own gender count: 3 (6) DOUBLED IN ONE EPISODE