Half of the Heart
(Parts 1 & 2)

Please Note
This episode has been altered/rewritten for the FV reboot. If you're interested in reading the more up to date version, here's the link.

The original idea for this episode was inspired by the first Pokémon movie, but the original idea is now a long way away from this episode. You've got to mention it's roots though don't you? Some people may like to point out that parts of this episode seem a lot like Star Trek Nemesis, but I swear we didn't copy off it. I know it seems hard to believe but the episode as it is now, the whole storyline was created around the time when all we knew about ST 10 was that there was Romulans, and the Troi/Riker shippers would be happy. I stopped collecting the mags a long time ago so I barely knew a thing until we all saw the damn movie. Oh well.. hardly anything's really original these days.

Episode Synopsis
When the crew discover Damien's first attempt to clone James to make Yasmin, the crew get involved in a clone war.

Special Guest Stars
Brendan Fraser as Ian
Freddie Boath as Duncan
Clive Martin as Evil C
Jeff Hardy as Ashley

Guest Stars
Anthoney Stewart Head
René Dif

Written By
Marill & Raichu

30th April, 19th May & 26th July 2003

Episode Based In
September 2379


June 2377:
Voyager dropped out of warp, it flew towards a large golden nebula. Inside the bright science lab, a familiar bald man was working with a more familiar bald man.

"It's ready, I hope you know what you're doing," the Doctor said calmly.

"Of course I do you nitwit. I am Damien, I know all," the second bald man grumbled. The Doctor passed him two hyposprays, not looking too sure about it.

"You do know that this won't fully work, don't you?" the Doctor asked.

Damien groaned, "your puny matrix cannot comprehend the pure genius of my evil plans. Don't you worry, you just get the transporter ready. You know, just in case."

"Yes sir," the Doctor said.

"And no more betraying me," Damien snapped. He walked out of the nearby door.

Voyager's warp drives glowed a bright blue colour as they raised. Another Voyager was in pursuit. It fired but it totally missed the other Voyager. It exploded, a shockwave came away from it. It collided with the back of Voyager, the warp drives overloaded and they exploded taking the whole ship with it.

The remaining Voyager swerved to the right and it jumped into warp, a few seconds later the shockwave spread throughout the area, destroying everything in it's path.

Damien came onto a small bridge, several other guys were standing around. "Excellent timing," he said. He rubbed his forehead.

"Master, are you ok?" one guy asked.

"Yes I'm fine, those stupid kids used a hypospray on me. Anyway that doesn't matter. What's important is that we got what we wanted, we can now begin," Damien replied. He laughed maniacally, the rest of the bridge crew joined in.

July 2377:
Damien was standing around a small science lab. A younger man came up to him like he was going to his execution.

"Sir, we have a problem," the man said.

"A problem? Impossible!" Damien snapped.

The man cringed, "well the first one is getting along just fine, it's just the second one. My assistant got mixed up, he thought the second one was supposed to be an exact copy."

Damien growled, he turned around and kicked the wall. He tried to hold back a scream afterwards. "Do you realise that the second one is useless to me without the changes?"

"Well not exactly. We could either kill the original or we can try to summon the original's past lives' warlock powers," the man said.

"Can you do either of them, can you?" Damien asked loudly.

"The second one isn't impossible, but it's still difficult. The first one, well I can't do it, he's too strong for me," the man replied.

"Then what are you going to do about it!" Damien screamed.

"Um, we could um.. start off fresh again," the man stuttered.

"And waste another month," Damien muttered.

"Uh yes sir. I'm so sorry," the man said.

"You should be," Damien said. He turned to leave.

"What should we do with him?" the man asked.

Damien smiled, he turned back to the man. "As soon as he can live outside the chamber, kill him."

"But sir, he can at least be a valuable member of the crew," the man said.

"Like you, ha!" Damien laughed. He shook his head, "no. The last thing I want is to see that face every single day. It just infuriates me when I see him."

"But.." the man stuttered.

"Ok ok, I'll kill him. All it takes is one shot from a gun," Damien said.

"Very good sir. Um, we can actually release him tomorrow," the man said.

"Good, I look forward to it. Oh I just thought of something, can you make lots of copies so I can shoot them all?" Damien asked.

"Sir, that's going too far," the man said.

Damien pouted, "way to spoil my fun."

The next day:
Damien came into the lab, he had a large knife in his hands. Everyone stared at him looking worried.

"You lot are too human, come on be more evil," Damien said.

The lead scientist stepped up to Damien. "Sir, he's ready but I must warn you.."

"Just let him out," Damien said. He cringed, "does he have something on?"

"Yes sir, of course," the lead scientist replied.

"Good, what was your warning?" Damien asked.

"He may not have the strength of the original, but he is still strong," the lead scientist replied.

"Aaah, he's one of those annoying ones who get some of their strength from their daddy's, and his daddy after that," Damien said.

"Yes sir, I believe we already told you that," the lead scientist said.

"I would have remembered it, now open the chamber," Damien said.

The lead scientist nodded nervously, he went over to what looked like a stasis chamber. Damien stepped closer to it. The lead scientist fiddled with a panel, the chamber door opened. A cloud of what looked like smoke or steam filled the entire room in seconds.

"Now you didn't warn me about that," Damien coughed. There was suddenly a huge crashing sound nearby him. The cloud started to fade away. Damien raised the knife but he felt it being taken away from him.

"Sir, are you ok?" one of the scientists frantically asked.

The cloud fully cleared, the scientists backed off. Damien was now lying on the ground with a slit neck. The lead scientist was lying unconscious near the wall.

A guy who looked exactly like James stepped over Damien's body. "What, no birthday presents?"

All of the scientists looked at each other, they all ran out.

Present day:
"Now come on, you can do better than that, don't hold back, give it everything you got," Daniel said. He was all protected with what looked like bike gear.

"Ok, but you asked for it," Lena said. She punched Daniel in the stomach, he cringed and fell onto the floor.

"Great," he just managed to spit out.

Meanwhile Wesley was pacing back and forth, yelling towards James, Sandi and Kevin who were fighting against demons.

"Sandi put more aggression into it! Kevin stop hitting on that one!" Wesley yelled.

Kevin glanced around, "I wasn't.. she's just too pretty to kill."

"It's an insentient hologram, just kill it!" Wesley yelled.

Kevin shrugged, he stabbed the female demon in the heart. She disappeared.

"Good, better. James, for goodness sake.. put that bottle down!" Wesley yelled.

"Yeah James, give it to me," Lena said. She snatched the Cherry Coke bottle off him.

"Excellent. Emma, keep up with the others... wait, Emma?" Wesley said, sounding confused.

"Um Emma hasn't arrived yet," James said.

"Well if she was on time I'd be worried," Lena said.

Sandi and Kevin finished off the rest of the demons. They went over to the the watchers and the rest of the Slayers.

"This is unacceptable, she should be here. She's had the least training out of all five of you," Wesley moaned.

"Lighten up, we have four Chosen Slayers, it's not like a Natural Slayer is going to make any difference," Daniel said, he lit up a tab.

"I suppose, but we need all the help we can get. Four Chosen Slayers on one fleet, that's just like having bug spray in only one room in a city infested with Sbaracs," Wesley said.

"Oh you know about those," Lena said.

"It's better than just having two Chosen Slayers on one ship, like it was before," Daniel said. He blew some smoke in Wesley's face.

Emma strolled in with Evil C and Faye on both of her sides. "Hi guys," Emma said cheerfully.

"What is this, you're an hour late and you have normal people with you," Wesley snapped.

"Don't worry, they're not normal," Emma said. Faye grinned in a hyper way.

"Well, you are late!" Wesley yelled.

"Yeah, if I'd known I would have been late for an extra twenty minutes," James said.

"Dear lord," Wesley groaned. He walked off.

Meanwhile, on a nearby moon:
A very familiar girl was standing around a statue, stroking it actually. "Voyager's back in orbit.. are you sure you wanna do this?"

"You have no idea what it's like to be the reject, do you? I'm weak and pathetic, like an ordinary human is," a familiar guy replied.

Several alien men came into the room, they stood nearby the girl.

"Don't be too hard on yourself, you have those really cool powers," the girl said.

"Oh that's right, how could I forget. But that isn't enough," the guy said.

"Sir Voyager and the Enterprise is back in orbit. Along with the Lillyia Fleet," one of the men said.

"Ah, that's interesting," the girl said.

"They're like vultures, or whatever you call them sir. Supposedly they're back in orbit to get supplies of some sort," one of the men said.

"Perfect, get the chambers ready. I think one of you should take command just briefly, and invite some of their people here for supplies," the guy said.

"Yes sir," the man said.

"And make sure you know who is on that team.. and don't forget, be careful with him," the guy said.

"But sir, he is an ordinary human, he can't be dangerous," the man said.

"Just because me and him have a different past, doesn't mean he's going to be gentle and innocent. He'll be like me, dangerous. So be careful," the guy said.

"Ooh dangerous, wish I was," the girl said.

"Honey you're too sweet to be dangerous," the guy said.

"We're on it, sir," the man said. He and the others left the room.

The Enterprise Bridge:
Everyone who was there were in their usual places, except Lena. Instead James was sitting on her chair, with his feet up. Lena came over to him, she smacked his leg really hard.

"Ow, Lena," James moaned.

"Get off my chair," Lena muttered.

"I told you," Tom said.

James pulled himself out of the chair, he sat in the spare one. Lena sat in her own chair.

"So, has Voyager made contact with the planet?" Lena asked.

"Yeah, they've been told to contact the moon. The people there have lots of supplies," Triah replied.

"Great, so it looks like our job is to sit around and look pretty," Lena said.

"Don't you do that all the time Lena?" James asked.

"You don't know when to stop, do you?" Lena snapped.

"Sorry, it just looked like Tom was going to say it," James said.

Tom pouted, "how did you know?"

"Well Voyager's hailing us," Triah said.

"Well someone's got to look pretty, my mum can't do it," Lena said.

"Ahem," Tom coughed.

"Oh yeah, put them on screen," Lena said.

"They already are," Tom said.

"Oops, hi mum," Lena said.

"I am pretty Lena, where do you think you got your looks from?" Kathryn said angrily. Everyone on both bridges laughed.

"I dunno, mutation perhaps?" Lena replied.

"Slayers are mutants, but then again James wasn't blessed with the good looks mutation like Lena," Tom said.

"Don't listen to him James, he loves you really," Jessie said.

"Oh come on, I'm not the gay one," Tom muttered.

"What do I have to do convince you people that I'm not gay? Do I have to go to a girl strip club or something," James said.

"Not when I'm around you're not," Jessie said.

"Well this is all very nice, can we get back to business," Kathryn said while steam came out of her ears.

"Aaaw," Ian moaned.

"Fine, what's up?" Lena asked.

"We're sending a team down to the moon's surface to meet the leader there but.." Kathryn replied.

"But what?" Lena said.

"We detected two human lifesigns down there, I figured that we should take the Enterprise lead security team down," Kathryn said.

"What's wrong with Craig's team?" Lena asked.

"What's not wrong with Craig's team, that's the question," James replied.

"Is it just because it's just got unknown crewmembers on it?" Lena asked.

"Noo, it's because Craig's in charge," James replied.

"Look just meet us down there, Janeway out," Kathryn said. The viewscreen went back to the flying through space screensaver.

"James, take other people with you. I have a bad feeling about this," Lena said.

"I know, Janeway's too sober," James said.

"That's not what I meant," Lena muttered.

"Yeah James use your not very used brain, supply missions always go wrong. Always," Tom said.

"Not always," Bryan said.

"Bryan what did your mum tell you about questioning your parents?" Tom asked.

"Never question mum, always question dad," Bryan replied.

"I should have known she'd say that," Tom grumbled.

"I was only joking, why are people taking me so seriously?" James said.

"Because you've been in some serious episodes, obviously," Triah said.

"Fine whatever. I'll take Kevin, that Clive guy, Triah, and Tom," James said.

"Hey, why me?" Tom moaned.

"Hopefully if something does go wrong, you'll be the one who gets hurt," James replied.

"I like that plan," Triah said. Everyone on the bridge who was mentioned headed for the turbolift. Tom was busy muttering under his breath.

The moon's surface:
Kathryn, Jodie and Ashley were hanging around outside a tall building. Nearby them were several guards.

James, Kevin, Triah, Tom and Evil C rematerialised nearby them.

"It's about time, we can go in now," Kathryn said.

"Hi Jamesy," Jodie said.

"What are you doing here?" James asked.

Kathryn shrugged, "she bribed me with coffee. Let's go in shall we." She went up to the lead guard. He lead the entire team inside the building.

They all entered a large dark hall. The guards stopped the team near the end of the hall. They all saw one dark figure in front of them.

"So finally we meet. My name is Richard, I prefer Ric," the figure said.

"Richard, that's a human name. You're one of the humans. How did you.." Kathryn started to ask.

"Get here? It's a long story, in a way it's the same story you'd tell if I asked you," Ric said.

"The Caretaker or the Seventh Dimension?" Kathryn said questioningly.

"Both technically," Ric said.

Another figure stepped forward, she came into the light. Everyone in the team gasped, she looked exactly like Emma. "Ooh lots of people, can I play with them Ricy?"

"Patricia, no.. not yet," Ric said.

"The voice sounds creepily familiar, yet annoying," Tom said.

"Uh huh.." Kathryn said nervously.

"How is this possible, Emma is on our ship?" Kevin asked.

"Should we tell them Patty?" Ric said.

Patricia giggled, "yeh, I wanna see this part."

Ric stepped into the light, everyone once again gasped. Ric was in fact the guy who looked exactly like James.

"Oh crap, I didn't say your voice was annoying," Tom said nervously.

"Ok how is this possible? I'd remember giving birth to twins," Kathryn asked, sounding worried.

Ric stepped closer to the group, he eyed Kathryn in disgust. "This is the mother, my god.. I was expecting someone a lot older."

"Aaaw, you're the nicer twin aren't you," Kathryn said.

"You must have been one of those teenaged sluts then," Ric said.

"So much for that theory," Kathryn muttered.

"I don't get this, how come there's another me?" James asked.

Ric smiled, "ah, I was cloned from you."

"That explains the other Emma," Tom said.

"Can I play with them now, Ricy?" Patricia asked innocently. She stepped closer to Ric, she took a hold of his arm.

"I told you, not until we've done the procedure," Ric replied.

"What procedure? We only came down for supplies," Kathryn asked.

"Oh your ships will get supplies, we just want something in return," Ric replied.

"Hmm.. we're lonely down on this little moon. We just want some company," Patricia said softly.

"Well you can come to our ships, if you want," Kathryn said.

"Um no thanks," Ric said. He clicked his fingers. Everyone in the team froze on the spot. "Begin the procedure," he said.

"Yes sir," one of the guards said.

An alien prison:
"Come on, wake up you stupid b**ch!" James voice yelled over the darkness.

Kathryn opened her eyes, her vision was all blurred. She eventually saw James, Kevin, Tom and Triah hovering over her. James slapped her in the face.

"Wake up!" he yelled.

"Yes I'm awake," Kathryn mumbled. James continued to slap her anyway.

"Um should we stop him?" Kevin asked.

"Meh," Tom replied.

Kevin shrugged, he grabbed a hold of James' arm and tried to pull him away.

"Oh fine," James groaned. He stood up, and walked away.

Jodie and Triah pulled Kathryn to her feet. "Where are we?" Kathryn asked.

"Well it looks like a prison," Ashley replied.

"Ok but why did James and Emma's twins put us here?" Tom asked.

"I dunno, but something isn't right," Kevin replied.

"What, you think a clone of me is something right?" James said questioningly.

Tom tried to keep a straight face, he glanced around. "Someone hold me back."

"No no, hold me back," James grumbled.

"No, we want to see Tom hurt.. I'm bored," Evil C said.

"Thanks a lot," Tom muttered.

Voyager, the Bridge:
"The team is ready to come back," Harry said.

"Good," Chakotay said. He headed towards the turbolift.

"Are you going to tell the Captain about all those humans who appeared on the moon?" Ian asked.

"Get me an explanation for it, then it would be a good idea," Chakotay replied. He stepped inside the turbolift.

Ian shrugged, "Kevin was on the awayteam."

"Unless Triah, Jodie, or even Janeway changed their status to desperate.. I don't think so," Harry said.

Transporter Room:
Chakotay stepped through the door, he nodded at the transporter chief. Kathryn, Tom, Triah, Kevin, Jodie, Ric, Evil C and Ashley rematerialised on the pad.

Kathryn glanced back at the others, she looked at Chakotay. "Oh look everyone, they have a cuddly bear.. a big one!" She ran over, and started to hug Chakotay tightly.

"You guys should know better, never give her coffee," Chakotay snapped.

"God, is this guy always a pain in the arse?" Ric said quietly to the others. He walked out of the room. Kathryn followed, after blowing Chakotay a kiss. He pretended to catch it, he threw it back at her.

"Gee this place needs some serious cleaning," Triah said. She walked out too.

Kevin made his way over to the chief, everyone else left. "Something is weird, I can feel it," Chakotay muttered.

"Hey, how you doing?" Kevin said to the chief, if you're wondering it's male.

Chakotay's eyes widened, he ran out of the room.

The Bridge:
Chakotay was sitting in his chair doing a log, while Harry, Ian and Kathryn were in their usual places.

Commander Chakotay's Log Supplemental: Ever since the awayteam has come back from the planet, well five minutes ago, they have been acting strangely. Well only Kathryn.. I mean the Captain, and Kevin were different. But if my instincts are right, they all are acting weird wherever they are. All except James that is, he was still making comments about me and stuff. I am not a pain in the arse, that's for sure.

"I'm thirsty," Kathryn said. She reached down and pulled a flask out of her bag.

Well at least Kathryn's drinking coffee, that's normal.. wait that doesn't smell like coffee.

Kathryn slipped a few tea bags into the flask, she waited a while before drinking from the flask.

"Um, I'm going for a walk," Chakotay stuttered as he stood up.

"Ok teddy," Kathryn said. Chakotay rushed into the turbolift.

The Enterprise, bridge:
Chakotay rushed out of the turbolift, he leaned on the banister. "Lena, where is Tom?"

Lena looked up at him, "I dunno.. he lost his temper when I told him his hair was a bit out of place."

Bryan turned around, "it was odd, but funny."

Chakotay raised his eyebrow, "no it's not. I just got onto the Enterprise when a security team bumped into me. They said that somebody was wrecking stuff in Tom and B'Elanna's quarters. I checked the computer, B'Elanna was in Engineering."

"It was only out of place by one hair," Lena muttered.

Bryan pulled an annoyed face, "I hope he didn't go in my room. I just got a guitar."

Lena groaned, "go on, check if it's ok."

Bryan stood up, he headed for the turbolift. Chakotay took a hold of his arm, "get back to work kid."

"Dad, I run this bridge," Lena said.

"Yes well, I know we're not moving anywhere but you need a pilot at all times," Chakotay said.

"But my guitar," Bryan moaned. He sat back down in his chair.

"Well I ain't got anyone at opps either, is it such a big deal?" Lena said.

Chakotay glanced towards opps, he glared back at Lena, "why not?"

Lena shrugged, "Triah said she would be right here, she was busy."

"Busy with what?" Chakotay asked.

"Cleaning I think," Lena replied.

Triah's Quarters:
The door chimed. "Come in!" Triah called.

Chakotay stepped into the room, he immediately tripped over a huge pile of clothes on the ground. As he stood up again he gasped in horror. "Oh my god the room is.."

"Clean I know, it's about time. It was really dirty," Triah said. She used a feather duster to knock over a glass of pop, it went all over the sofa.

Chakotay stepped backwards, the door opened again. "You know, I'll come back later."

"Ok," Triah said cheerfully.

Chakotay grinned nervously, he took one more step backwards. The door closed in front of him.

Duncan ran out of one of the classrooms, he quickly turned the nearby corner. He bumped into Ric. "Oh, hi dad," he said nervously.

Ric groaned, "oh that's just great."

"I'm not missing school again I swear, the clocks have just gone forward. You mustn't have been told," Duncan stuttered.

Ric smiled in a devious way, he knelt down in front of Duncan. "Missing school are we?"

"No, I told you, evil clocks gone forward. It was such a waste," Duncan replied.

"Let me tell you something. When the people who work for me skip duty, I punish them," Ric said.

"Ok I punish myself, I'll go and visit my grandma," Duncan said.

"That's not good enough," Ric said. He hit Duncan across the head, and stood back up. "Run along now." He continued down the corridor.

Duncan put his hand over his head with a huge pout on his face, he ran off in the opposite direction.


End of Part I

Part II


Enterprise Bridge:
Chakotay rushed back out of the turbolift, "Lena.. we need to organise a meeting in your conference room."

Lena stood up, "what, why?"

"Something is going on, the awayteam is acting strangely.. well most of them are," Chakotay replied.

"I'm not surprised, they didn't come back with any supplies either," Lena said.

Bryan turned around, "dad only lost his temper, what's the biggie?"

Chakotay tried to keep calm, "Janeway's drinking tea, Kevin was chatting up a guy, Triah thinks dirty is clean.. you should see her quarters. Oh and I just saw Ashley and Evil C."

"Oh my god," Lena muttered.

"Yeah, what's up with Ashley and Evil C?" Bryan asked.

"They were dueling with swords," Chakotay replied.

"Dueling? Over what?" Lena sniggered.

"Whoever wins the fight to the death gets the hand of Naomi," Chakotay said.

Everyone stared blankly at him. "Doesn't Evil C hate Naomi?" Lena asked.

"Uh huh," Chakotay replied.

"To the death?" Bryan said questioningly.

"Uh huh," Chakotay replied, getting more annoyed by the second.

"Shouldn't you stop them?" Lena asked.

"I tried, I got this," Chakotay replied. He showed off his hand, which had a massive cut on it. "I called James' security team, but all I got for a response was 'f off monkey...' uh, I'm not finishing that off."

Lena tried not to laugh, "um.. that's nice. Did you ask Craig's team?"

"I did, his team's trying to stop it. Hence the reason why Evil C and Ashley are fighting over Naomi now. They were fighting over Faye before," Chakotay replied.

"Hmm Ashley said Faye dressed like a tart, Evil C used to have an obsession for Claire and Emma.. strange," Lena said.

"Yes now can we please have that meeting, without the actual awayteam?" Chakotay asked.

"Sure.. but as far as I can see James and Jodie seem to be acting normally," Lena replied.

"Ok, I'll repeat some of the stuff James said to me, after the monkey comment.." Chakotay said. Bryan burst out laughing, Chakotay glared at him. "Forget it.. James is acting strangely too. I don't know about Jodie."

"I saw her, she's fine," Jessie said.

Everyone glanced at her. "We've mentioned Tom, James and several others and now you speak?" Lena said in disbelief.

Jessie looked embarrassed, "I fell asleep ok. Someone should take this new chair away from me."

"You haven't seen any other members of the team since they came back?" Chakotay asked.

"Nope," Jessie replied.

"Not even James?" Chakotay said questioningly. Jessie shook her head.

"Yep, James is acting weird too," Lena said. Jessie looked confused.

"Just get everyone but the team at a meeting in ten minutes, Lena. I'll do it if you don't," Chakotay said.

"Ohno, how will I cope if that happens?" Lena said sarcastically.

Chakotay groaned, Duncan ran out of the turbolift. He rushed over to Jessie. "Mum, you're not going to believe what dad just did."

"Told someone else that they sleep with monkeys," Chakotay muttered. Bryan burst out laughing again.

Duncan pulled a face, "wouldn't they smell, and snore? And the bed would have hair everywhere."

"I hope he doesn't have any idea what Chakotay meant," Lena muttered. Bryan continued to laugh.

Jessie rolled her eyes. "What did dad do?"

Duncan rubbed his head again, "he hit me."

"What!?" Jessie exclaimed. Everyone but Duncan jumped a mile when she did.

"Ok I admit that I tried to skive school, and he caught me. But instead of just telling me off or something, he hit me," Duncan said.

Lena leaned on the nearby bannister, "that doesn't sound like James at all."

Jessie stood up, "don't care, either way someone is going to get a beating of a lifetime for this." She stormed out.

"Woah, no wonder dad is scared of that woman," Bryan muttered.

"Is he scared of me?" Lena asked.

Bryan grinned, "oh yeah."

"Good," Lena said.

Meanwhile, the Mess Hall:
"You are not going to get her this way," Ashley sneered. He revved up a chain-saw.

"You'll get her over my dead body," Evil C said. He revved up a chain-saw too.

Naomi rolled her eyes, "I can't believe this is happening."

Craig glared at her, "well help me out here, for god's sake!"

Naomi laughed, "yeah right. Like I'm going to help you stop a fight in my new top. I could get blood on it."

"Well I can't get chain-saws off two dueling guys.. that would be suicide. We really need a Slayer or two," Craig said.

Ashley and Evil C started swinging the chain-saws at each other like they were swords. Sandi came over to the two, "do you mind, I need to concentrate."

"Shove it sweetheart," Ashley muttered.

"I need to cook today's lunch, I can't.." Sandi grumbled.

"Go away, or we'll serve you with stew," Evil C said.

"Uhoh," everyone but Ashley and Evil C stuttered. Nearly everybody headed for the nearest exits.

Sandi lost her temper finally, she kicked Ashley's chain-saw out of his hands. She managed to grab Evil C's, she snapped it in half. The two stared at her looking scared.

"Bye," they both said, they ran out of the room.

Craig nervously went over to Sandi, "hey thanks.."

Sandi turned around, she smiled sweetly, "you're welcome." She went back to the kitchen.

"Woah, she's on something.. get my meaning," Naomi said.

Craig grabbed her arm, he dragged her towards the door, "don't anger the easily angered Chosen Slayer. You could get a top ripped."

Naomi gasped, "no way!" They both disappeared out the door.

Deck 7:
Ric, Evil C and Ashley were standing nearby one of the turbolift doors. Ric was busy telling the other two off.

"I don't want some dumb blonde cloned, or some ginger nut either," Ric was saying.

"The ginger one was a telepath," Ashley said.

"I don't give a... what, telepath? Ok, get her. The point is, I want you to get a hold of Patricia's twin, and the Slayer's sister. We could kill her after the cloning process too," Ric said.

"But sir.. when are you going to kill your double?" Evil C asked.

"Soon, I want to choose some new clones for myself," Ric replied.

"So sir, you want Patricia and the Slayer's sister, anyone else?" Ashley asked.

Ric smiled evily, "yeah, I want the girl who Damien created after me. We'll see who's the best."

"You want a clone of her?" Evil C said questioningly.

"No, I just want to kill her. Happy?" Ric said.

"Oooh, can I take the pretty blonde girl for the cloning thing? Please oh please?" Ashley asked.

Ric pulled a face, "hell no."

"Ok, fine," Ashley mumbled.

Evil C put his hand up, Ric rolled his eyes. "What!?"

"You said you wanted the Slayer's sister, right?" Evil C said.

"Yes," Ric said.

"Well, we don't know what she looks like," Evil C said.

"You'll know.. she'll look like the girly version of the Slayer we have or something," Ric said.

Evil C looked confused, "but we already have you sir... oh crap." He ran off.

Ric narrowed his eyes, "I'll kill him later. What was I thinking?"

"Yeah sir he's a moron, he tried to take my blonde girl," Ashley said.

Ric groaned, "good for him." He looked impatiently at Ashley, "go.. go!"

Ashley nodded, he ran off too. He bumped into Jessie, he squealed and ran quicker.

"Wuss," Ric muttered. He pulled a face as Jessie came up to him. "What.. what do you want?"

Jessie narrowed her eyes, she punched Ric in the face. "That's what I wanted, thank you."

Ric placed his hand over his face, "why do I get the feeling that I know you."

Jessie smiled sweetly, "why do I get the feeling that you're not who you look like."

"Is it that obvious? Gee, maybe I should have wore a disguise," Ric said.

"Who are you?" Jessie asked.

Ric smiled deviously, "you were part wrong. I am who I look like pet."

"Then who am I?" Jessie asked, folding her arms.

"A stupid b**ch who just punched me for nothing," Ric replied.

Jessie smiled again, she punched him in the face again. "Wrong both times. Minus two points."

"Really, I thought I was dead on," Ric said.

"Now again I'll ask, who are you?" Jessie asked.

"Ok.. my name is Ric, short for Richard but that's a wussy name," Ric replied.

"Ok Richard, why are you in my husband's body, or something?" Jessie asked.

Ric pulled an annoyed face, "it's Ric pet." Jessie punched him again. "Ok ok, ow you punch like a man."

"Want another one?" Jessie asked sweetly.

Ric rolled his eyes, "fine. I'm not possessing anybody's husband. Frankly I'm not surprised my other half is married, I'm such a good looker, don't you think? Oh of course you agree with me, it wasn't the personality.. for him anyway."

Jessie stared blankly at him, "ookay, can I punch you again?"

"No.. but that's all you're going to know. Can't let you ruin anything," Ric replied.

"Ok.. I doubt that. First things first, other half?" Jessie said questioningly.

"Yes.. other half. Get lost lady," Ric muttered. He put his hands up just as Jessie tried to punch him again. He took a hold of her arm, and pushed her into the wall.

"I can't now," Jessie said.

"Shame, I'm really disappointed. Ok why the sarcasm, I do want to get rid of you," Ric said.

"Well since I'm here, you can tell me what's going on," Jessie said.

"Ok but it comes with a price. You either have to die, or come with me somewhere," Ric said.

"I could kick you," Jessie said.

"No sweetie, I'm not telling you anything if you hurt me," Ric said.

"Sweetie? Well that's nice, now just tell me," Jessie said.

"Ok but I will kill you afterwards," Ric said.

"I'd like to see you try, go on," Jessie said.

Ric stepped away from her. "I am a clone."

"A clone, I thought Slayers couldn't be cloned without killing the originals," Jessie said.

"You think that they just die, like a click of a finger or something?" Ric said. He laughed, "no.. they can be cloned, but the clones cannot get the strength unless they kill the originals themselves."

"Damien was the one who said it. Besides, somebody suggested cloning the Slayers and he acted like he'd never thought of it," Jessie said.

Ric laughed, "of course, I was such a failure he would have done anything to get rid of me. Since he couldn't, well I guess he could have made himself forget it. He can't be imperfect you know."

"Can't be? I thought he was anyway," Jessie said.

"So did I," Ric said.

"So let me get this straight, and correct me if I make a mistake, Damien tried to clone James entirely but noticed there was no Slayer strength in you, so he abandoned you?" Jessie said.

Ric shook his head, "no you silly girl. He didn't want another one of him, he wanted somebody who he could pass off as a lost relative or something. When I killed him I checked his database. He had all these spells to make people have false memories and crap like that. All just so he could get what he already had in the first place, a Slayer or two."

"Great.. so why are you here?" Jessie asked.

Ric stepped closer to her, "because.. oh that's right, I can't tell you the rest."

"If you're going to try and kill me, why not?" Jessie said.

"I'm not a monster, you and him are married so there's a nice chance there's kids. Don't want to leave anymore bratty orphans do I?" Ric said. He pulled what looked like a tricorder out. "Hey it's me, beam me down." He smiled as he dematerialised.

Jessie shook her head, "he's so stupid." She walked off down the corridor.

Enterprise's Conference Room:
Most of the main cast, excluding the awayteam, were at the table. Chakotay was sitting at the front next to Lena, who had her feet up. Chakotay slapped her leg, she glared at him and slapped him on the arm.

"Ow.. Lena, get your feet off the table," Chakotay snapped.

"It's my ship, my table," Lena said.

"Fine. Start the meeting since you're the boss," Chakotay said sarcastically.

Lena smiled, she put her feet down and leaned on the table. "Ok people, we have a bit of a situation here."

"Tell me about it, I can't remember the last time I had a drink," Emma said.

"What's wrong with that, you're giving up alcohol?" Lilly asked.

"A drink of Cherry Coke," Emma replied.

"I know, I'm sure the main supplies have gone," Faye said.

"Look, that's another crisis we'll solve later. I'm talking about what happened to the awayteam," Lena said.

"Oh that," Faye muttered, looking repulsed.

Emma giggled, "two guys fighting over you.. you're a hit with the men lately."

Faye glared in Emma's direction, "shut up."

"Anyway.. I'm thinking it may have happened when lots of humans appeared on the moon just before transport," Chakotay said.

"Yeah, we never solved that did we?" Harry said.

"Any theories?" Chakotay said questioningly.

"Seventh Dimension?" Emma suggested.

"No, not again," everyone moaned.

Emma pouted, "god sorry."

In: "Richards to Conference.. which jack*** thinks I'm not a main castmember anymore?"

Chakotay rolled his eyes, "you're a regular Ian, now is there a reason you called?"

In: "Fine. Yeah there is, several crewmembers have gone to the planet."

"Which ones?" Lena asked.

In: "Lemme see, Janeway, James, Triah, Kevin, Jodie, Ashley, Tom, Evil C, Naomi, Yasmin and some unknown people."

"Ok, the first lot I get, but why Naomi and Yasmin?" Lena said.

Jessie ran into the room, she stopped to catch her breath. Everyone turned to stare at her. "Clones," she managed to blurt out.

"Clones.. of course. Wait, clones?" Chakotay said.

"I located James' commbadge, and I found some guy who looked like him but it wasn't him. It was a clone," Jessie said.

Nikki's face lit up, "ooh there's two?"

"He went down to the planet," Jessie said, ignoring Nikki.

"Ok, if he's a clone, then is the rest of the team clones?" Chakotay asked.

"I don't know. This guy was cloned before Yasmin supposedly. He was the reject. He didn't tell me directly but he wants to kill James, obviously to get the Slayer strength," Jessie replied.

"Well we know why Yasmin's down there now. He might be p***ed at her," Lena said.

"Naomi.. Ashley and Clive were fighting over her," Faye said.

"Firstly you, why didn't they take you?" Emma asked.

"It's obvious," Faye replied.

"It is?" everyone said, sounding confused.

"They came to their senses," Faye said.

"And took Naomi!? Look Faye, I'd choose you over Naomi anyday.. not in that way though," Harry said.

"Yeah, you don't want to go there again do you Harry?" Emma said in a sweet voice.

Chakotay groaned, "time out people, we need to solve this. James was cloned back when Damien had his first host I'm guessing, right?"

"Yeah, it must have been when we destroyed the Seventh Voyager ship," Harry said.

"Leaving a bigger puzzle, how the hell did the clones survive that?" Lilly said.

"That doesn't matter. We need to figure out why the other members of the team are acting differently too," Chakotay said.

"Maybe the James clone got lonely," Harry said.

"He's called Ric by the way," Jessie said.

"Ok whatever," Harry muttered.

"Harry may be right. Maybe Ric got onto an escape pod before we arrived on the scene, and maybe took some of the cloning technology with him. He could have cloned our people when they landed on the planet," Chakotay said.

"Oh god.." Lena muttered.

"What?" Jessie said.

"Hundreds of humans appeared on the planet before we transported our so called team back, does this mean there's hundreds of Kevins, and Janeways?" Lena said.

Everyone turned pale, "hundreds of Janeways?"

Chakotay was the first to shake it off, "who says we get rid of this colony?"

"After we get the originals back, obviously," Lena replied.

"Hang on, ain't that murder?" Lilly asked.

"We've blown up other ships, this is no different," Lena replied.

"Hurray, mass murder," Emma said sarcastically.

"Has anyone got a better idea? These clones can just as easily replace us and if any aliens, and future enemies get a hold of them god knows what'll happen," Chakotay said.

Lena stood up, "ok that's settled. I'll send a team down."

"Great plan, if a clone of James can just kill him and become a Slayer, then the same will happen to you," Jessie said.

"Like a plain clone of me could kill me," Lena said.

"This is starting to get confusing," Bryan muttered.

"No it's not.. you're just dumb," Lena said. Bryan stuck his tongue out at her. "Ok, I'll send a small team to the surface, get the originals off the colony and we blow it up from the inside."

"Fine, who'll go?" Chakotay asked.

"Me, Jessie, Emma and Daniel," Lena replied.

"Daniel.. you mean that blonde watcher?" Emma said questioningly.

"When he's not droning on and teaching us crap lessons, he can be a good fighter," Lena replied.

"Maybe when he had his memories, what if he's forgotten how to fight?" Jessie asked.

"We don't want anymore Slayers or whatever in this team. A watcher will be no good to the clones," Lena replied.

"Lena, don't you think you should think about this a bit longer?" Chakotay asked.

Lena rolled her eyes, "no.. we need to act not think."

"Fine but.." Chakotay said.

"No buts.. I hate that word," Lena said.

"I know but at least it's better than Tuvok's however," Harry said.

The planet, the prison:
"Are you sure this is a good plan.. no we need another plan," Jodie said.

"It'll work, but I have this feeling I've used it before," James said.

"You can't be this crazy twice in one lifetime," Tom said.

"I don't get how this is a plan," Kathryn said.

James smiled nervously, he patted Kathryn on the shoulder, "don't worry it's a plan." He wiped his hand on Tom's arm.

"Hey!" Tom moaned, he wiped his hand on Jodie.

"Oh grow up boys," Jodie groaned. She wiped her hand on Tom's arm, she quickly crossed her fingers. "Hah, can't get me."

"I'm in a team with insane people," Evil C muttered.

Kevin rubbed his eye, he looked at his hand afterwards. "Crap, I pulled out two eyelashes there.. that can't be good."

"And one idiot," Evil C said.

"Tom, he's talking about you," James said.

Tom pouted, "screw you."

Kathryn gasped, "Tom!"

"He started it," Tom said.

"I don't care, I hate that word," Kathryn said.

"What, screw?" Tom asked. Kathryn glared at him. "Is it because one of yours is loose?" Kathryn smacked him in the back of the head.

"Um, are we going to do this plan or what?" Triah asked.

"Yeah.. go on mum," James said.

Kathryn placed her hand on her chest, "oh you called me mum."

"I'll call you b**ch in a minute, the plan please," James muttered.

"Well he said please too.. we're getting there," Triah said.

Kathryn groaned, she pulled a sachet out of her pocket. After ripping it open, she poured the contents in her mouth.

"Are you sure this'll be enough?" Jodie asked.

"It's extra strong, of course it'll work," James replied.

Kathryn finished pouring the contents into her mouth, she threw the sachet away. She grinned in a hyper way, "hehehe hiya."

"Yep, it's working," Jodie giggled.

"Great, how long do we have to put up with her like this?" Tom asked.

"Hopefully not long," James replied. He pushed Kathryn into the forcefield. The guards all jumped in shock when she did.

"Hiya.. wanna song?" Kathryn giggled.

The guards all shrugged. "Yeah, why not," one replied.

"They're nuts.. haven't they noticed her voice?" Jodie whispered.

"I try not to notice either," Tom whispered back.

Kathryn stood up straight, she got ready to sing. "Uhoh, here we go," James said.

Tom's eyes widened, "I hope she doesn't sing Here We Go, it's too.. well um it would be scary if Janeway did it."

"You do realise that only an odd few people know that damn song, don't you?" James muttered.

Kathryn started to sing.. luckily nobody noticed what song it was since it was so terrible. Oh wait, it was probably Rock Your Body by Justin.. actually we'll make it that shall we?

"Rock your body.. something something," Kathryn squealed (it's not singing people!).

The awayteam all covered their ears. "Oh god.. she's only just started and I feel like killing somebody, not rocking anyone's body," Jodie moaned.

"Ooh, Killing Somebody, that's a good parody of it," James said. Everyone glared at him. "Ok ok, I'll do my part of the plan." He stood next to Kathryn, he swallowed hard and unblocked his ears.

"I'd hate to be him right now," Triah said.

"I'd hate to be him all the time, I love being a girl," Jodie said.

"That's not a problem," Kevin said.

"You know I can still hear you!" James yelled over the noise.

"Not deaf yet, that's good," Tom said.

Meanwhile the guards were all rolling around in agony on the floor. James looked like he wanted to kill himself, Kathryn then decided to put her arm around him. "Come on sing along," she said.

"I think it's working," Tom said.

"Thank god," Jodie groaned.

James closed his eyes, he pushed Kathryn's arm off like it was a huge bug. When he opened his eyes they were black. He walked straight through the forcefield.

"Yes it worked.. he won't kill us right?" Tom said.

"Maybe if we shut her up, he'll go back to normal," Kevin said.

"I'm not touching her mouth or anything," Evil C said.

"Me neither," Ashley muttered.

Kevin groaned, "fine." He went over to Kathryn, he hit her over the head. She fell unconscious.

The forcefield went down, everyone but Kathryn evacuated. James shook his head, his eyes went back to normal. "Well that was fun.."

"This is getting really stupid.. can we get serious now?" Triah asked.

Everyone stared blankly at her. "You want seriousness.. gee, there's plenty time for that," Tom said.

Evil C put his hand up, "I'm on her side here.. well kinda. Silliness is good but James shouldn't have gone back to normal so easily."

"Yeah, when I first heard ten seconds of that song it took me days to get over the panic," Jodie said.

"I have good control. I only lost it cos I wanted to, can we go?" James muttered.

"Someone will have to carry Janeway," Kevin said. Everyone glanced around at the person next to them.

A little while later:
"This is stupid.. I'm a Slayer, I should be fighting not carrying Justina here!" Kevin moaned.

"Well you knocked her out," James muttered.

"You made her sing," Kevin said.

"I got us out," James said.

"Well I.. I'm carrying Janeway," Kevin said.

"This is going to go in a loop isn't it?" Jodie muttered. The others nodded.

The group entered a large room, they all stared in shock. Right in front of them were lots of Kevins.

Kevin grinned, "hey, how you all doing?"

"How you doing?" all of them said in unison.

"That's it, I'm back in prison," Jodie muttered. She left the room.

"I'm with ya," Ashley commented. He followed her.

Lena, Jessie, Emma and Daniel headed up to the entrance. The two guards started coming up to them to meet them. "Clearance pl..." Lena knocked both of their heads together, they fell to the ground. She turned to the others.

"Ready to go in?" she asked cheerfully.

"Sure.." the others replied nervously.

Meanwhile again:
Several guards dragged Naomi and Yasmin into the prison, they all gasped in shock at the sight in front of them.

"Rock your body.. rock your body," one guard was stuttering.

"I love Justin, I love Justin," the other one was stuttering.

"Oh my god, they're dying," Naomi said.

"No one deserves that song," Yasmin said.

The guards let go of the two, they rushed over to their friends.

"Wanna go?" Naomi whispered.

"Hell yeah," Yasmin replied. She and Naomi ran out of the room.

Meanwhile yet again:
"You suck Stuart," Kevin muttered.

"Right back at you Clarke," James said.

Jodie giggled, "Clarke's shoes."

Kevin pouted, "hey."

"Ok, I'll handle this.. when I do you guys go," James said.

"I outrank you mister," Tom said angrily.

Ric stepped closer with Patricia on his arm. "Pat, go and play," Ric said.

Patricia giggled, she went over to the group. They all backed off. Patricia waved her finger around, she stopped her finger near Tom. She went up to him, she scratched his face.

"Did you see that.. she she," Tom stuttered.

"Like my plan?" James said questioningly.

"Love it.. you're the man.. bye," Tom stuttered. He beckoned the others, he and most of the others ran back the way they came. Kevin and Ashley stayed behind, Kevin just dropped Kathryn onto the ground.

"Aaaw, three against two.. not fair," Patricia said softly. She re-attached herself to Ric's arm.

"I don't play fair," James said.

Ashley grinned, "me neither.. I want that line."

"Too late," James muttered.

Ric smiled, "doesn't matter.. I want him."

"Does that mean I get the other two?" Patricia asked.

"Yeah babe, go play with them," Ric replied.

"You know this is funny.. Emma won't be pleased about this," Kevin said.

James rolled his eyes, "go and play with her Kevin.. you know what I mean."

"Danny would love to be here," Ashley said.

Patricia stepped over to face Kevin and Ashley. Ric and James stood to face each other.

"So, this is it. Any last words?" Ric said.

"I have a lot of last words, can't remember most of them. Sorry, I used them all anyway. Do you have any idea how many times I've died," James said.

"Obviously not enough," Ric replied. He and James started to fight.

"Ok you attack first, I hate attacking women. It's ok when they started it, or the other guy does," Ashley said.

Kevin glanced at him, "oh thanks a lot."

Meanwhile again!
Lena, Jessie, Emma and Daniel met up with Tom, Jodie, Triah and Evil C. Naomi and Yasmin ran down a different corridor, they literally bumped into the group.

Lena looked around, "not everyone is here.. and is anyone clones?"

"Huh?" everyone but Jessie, Emma and Daniel said in unison.

Lena glanced at Jessie, "Jess, you're with me. Daniel, give her the bomb."

"No, I'm coming with. I need a good fight," Daniel said.

"What about me?" Emma asked.

"Take everyone to the transporter co-ordinates," Lena ordered.

Emma rolled her eyes, "fine." She lead the others back out of the building.

"Let's go," Lena said. She, Jessie and Daniel went down the corridor Tom and the others came from.

Last meanwhile I swear:
Ashley stumbled into the wall with blood coming down his face, "damn those nails."

"It's ok Ash, I'm handling it," Kevin said.

"Ash, don't call me that," Ashley groaned.

Jessie, Lena and Daniel appeared on the scene. No one seemed to notice. "Jess, go plant the bomb," Lena whispered.

"Why me, can't bleach boy do it?" Jessie said.

"I take offense at that pet," Daniel said, he took out a cigarette. Jessie rolled her eyes.

"Please Jess," Lena said.

"Fine," Jessie muttered. She took the bomb off of Daniel, he used his now spare hand to get a lighter.

Ric was knocked onto the ground, he looked up and he saw two of the new arrivals. James blocked his view as he came up to him, "I think you need some Slayer strength Riccy."

"Well let's get some," Ric growled. He jumped up, he hit James in the face. James hit him again, he fell to the ground.

"Need some help?" Lena asked.

James laughed, "no thanks."

Patricia turned around, "oh new people.. love new people." She kicked Kevin in the balls, he fell to the ground. Ashley changed his mind about attacking her, he sneaked away.

"Bloody hell, damn lighter.. ah there we go," Daniel muttered. He got his cigarette to light, he threw the lighter away. "Stupid thing."

"Um, that was still lit," Lena said.

The lighter landed next to some crates, they all caught fire. Ric and Patricia both noticed, along with Lena, James and Daniel. "No, you idiot!" Ric yelled.

"What? God, take a pill," Daniel said.

"Jessie, Kevin, Ashley, come on quickly!" Lena yelled.

One of the crates exploded, lots of liquid leaked out. Lena looked confused, "alcohol?"

"Oh great, our stash will be destroyed," Patricia said as she rushed over to Ric.

"If we don't get it away from the fire, there will be a big explosion," Ric said. He glared at Daniel before he and Patricia headed for the safer crates.

"Now's our time to escape," Lena whispered. Ashley, Jessie, Lena and James rushed out of the room, Ashley doing so while carrying Kathryn. Kevin limped behind them.

Daniel finished his cigarette, "well it was nice knowing you guys." He threw it away, it landed nearby more crates.

"Son of a b..." Ric muttered.

There was a huge explosion right behind Daniel as he left the room. He turned around, rubble landed near his feet. He shrugged, and followed the others. "Does any of you guys have anymore tabs?" he asked.


****THE END****

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