Marill Re-Reads Year of Hell
Here's the stats so far.
Exclaimed Count: 19
Muttered Count: 18
Motto Count: 4
Sexist crap against my own gender count: 1
I know I'm going to regret this. What I expect from this is copied scenes from Year of Hell and Pokémon, a really bad idea for the "Slayers" mythology that was dumped, and fourth wall writer bullcrap. You know, the usual. Here goes. I hope my arm gets better soon so I can return to writing something better. My brain can't melt any more.
And yeah, keeping up with the exclaimed count was getting too much. Hopefully I'll be back in action for the next review. There's still a total though thanks to Firefox keeping track for me.
##############
So this episode was "edited" in 2003 which was I think Season Three's reign of terror. It can get worse. Oh dear.
Oh and Astrometrix Lab. Pause for laughter.
Everyone was gathered inside the new lab. Even Naomi was there, standing next to the Doctor who was for some reason holding Kiara.
"For some reason" clearly means in my 2001 language: I want this character here despite it making no sense, so tough s$$$.
Though I dunno why I wanted the Doctor holding Kiara. That cannot be translated.
Blah, blah, direct copy of opening Year of Hell Astrometrics unveiling, blah. Doc prepares to unleash his mighty speech and...
"Hang on, Doc, I'll just put my glasses on," Craig said as he put some glasses on with pretend eyes on. "Okay, now you can continue."
"Craig, give me those," the Doctor said with his hand out. Craig sighed and give him the glasses but he snuck another pair on. "And those." Craig sighed again.
And those. Aaaaaaaw. And those. Aaaaw. Where have I heard this joke before? Oh yeah, the Simpsons. So witty me.
At least Naomi tries to be different by trying to escape to the loo, alas it does not work.
We come back ten minutes later, my god his speech must've been much longer with all those repeated words and tributes to the writers greatness.
They return to the bridge and we're introduced by the wonderful Ensign Thingymajig who I believe has a stunning role in the next episode Hunters. Of course the appearance isn't complete without the writers talking about rude names that couldn't get past the imaginary censors.
"Rai! That's an 18!" Marill's voice yelled.
"Exactly, you shouldn't of heard it," Raichu's voice said.
"Hey, Harry did you hear something?" Tom asked.
Welp, we're ignoring them now. Good. Hopefully they'll go away.
Voyager contacts the people attacking them and they're introduced to a man so evil he dared not to appear in the cast list, THE FIEND!
Year of Hell continues the same until Craig decides to hog Janeway's hilarious torpedo tube moment and embarrass himself with the worst insult ever next to "you meanie" from Advent Children. To be fair the latter was in response to a "yo mamma" burn, so it was warranted. Ice cold comebacks are always needed.
Anyway the not casted guy in all his evil comes back with a "haha you're a wussy cos you have a kid with you" slap down. We go straight back to the original for the rest of the scene.
On the start of the next scene, you'll miss the copycat rubbish.
Day Thirty Two, Deck 12:
Joe Menosky walked down the corridor to where Brannon Braga were standing.
"Any sign of them, Joe?" Brannon asked.
"No," Joe replied.
"They must be on this ship, do you think they know we're here?" Brannon asked.
"Probably," Joe replied.
Woaaaah, huge time skip. What happened for a whole month? Nothing. Was original YOH's gap between the Krenim telling the Voyager kids to get off his lawn, and the Zaal's being wiped out this long?
Oh yeah. If you've already seen Aggressions and Mental Illness, and you recognise those names, you know where this is going, don't you?
Well you're half right.
"I've got a date with Seven," Brannon said.
"Which one? The one from this dimension?" Joe asked.
"No you dimwit! The one in our dimension," Brannon replied.
Okay, so you didn't call her Jeri so I'm gonna wishful thinking assume that I was still keeping to the FV is a parallel dimension to original because of the Kiara birth, nothing more, with the writers as merely fourth wall gags. No real world dimension, aka the third, with everything fictional as billions of fifth dimensions.
Yeah probably reaching, but I'll take it.
Anyways, Jeri Taylor joins this Voyager writers retreat via the comm and report three girls were spotted on deck twelve, where Brannon and Joe are.
Let the battle commence. I'm rooting for everyone to lose.
Meanwhile Marill, Firera & Raichu were standing in the turbolift. Raichu was fiddling with the controls.
"Hopefully, no one will be able to break in," Raichu said.
"It better work, the last time you did this we got stuck in the turbolift," Marill said.
"Don't worry about it, only writers can get in and out of here," Raichu said. The turbolift started moving and then it stopped. The doors opened.
"HEY! I just fiddled with that!" Raichu exclaimed. Suddenly the lights dimmed. Brannon & Joe appeared.
I hope there's more than one turbolift on Voyager, or everyone's climbing everywhere.
"Hey Marill, rumour has it that you're getting sued for skitting and stealing from Pokémon," Brannon said.
"WHAT!" Marill exclaimed.
I PLEAD THE FIFTH
See what I did there? *cue groans*
"It's just a rumour of course, it's not official yet," Brannon said. Firera ran over to Brannon.
"I bet he was the one who started the rumour. I thought we got you locked up in jail for dating cast members," Marill said angrily,
A bit ironic that Brannon accuses the writers of stealing from Pokémon, by leading with a copied scene from Pokémon. That's clever writing.
"Yeah, Rick Berman came down to the station himself and bailed us out," Joe said.
"He payed in person!" Firera exclaimed.
"Berman would never do anything like that for us," Raichu said.
o_0 Yeah? Why would he bail out fanfic writers he wouldn't have heard of? Oh right yeah, this is the Pokémon episode where two Team Rocket teams argue with each other. HOW COULD I FORGET?
Oh and payed? Was I trolling with early FV? I was trolling. Had to be.
"Of course, you just invited yourself into the writing staff and got the rest of us fired, what do you expect," Brannon said.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
"Um guys, what are you talking about this is Fifth Voyager, remember we're the boss' remember?" Marill said.
HELL YEAH. WE'RE THE REMEMBER OF THE BOSS. YOU TELL THEM MARILL.
Wait, what?
"Oh and by the way, we have a surprise for the three of you," Joe said. He clicked his fingers and and a horde of Pokémon appeared from around the corner, a Drownzee was right behind them.
Of course Voyager's original staff have Pokémon too. Why wouldn't they?
Raichu woke up, Craig and the Doctor were standing over her. She bolted up. Tom was treating Firera's arm. Marill was sitting on a bio bed.
"This is a nightmare!" Raichu exclaimed.
"Sorry it's real," Craig said.
Damn it, I bet this was Craig's fault. He's hoping that if he gets on the writers good side they'll write a harem for him in the next episode. Or go out with him.
Obviously Raichu wasn't super keen on that idea.
"Sorry it's real." That's what all the bad dreams say. I'll remain optimistic.
"Aaaaggghh! Don't be so rough will ya!" James yelled. Misty threatened him with a glare. "Never mind, I'll be quiet." Misty started patting him (on the) bad arm.
"Okay, you're all set!" Misty said. James screamed in her ear.
"I think that hurt," Tracey said.
Then he released his Pokémon Marill. It told him to go f$$$ himself and wandered off into the sunset to star in her own Pokémon spinoff show, kicking ass and taking names while being cute. Tracey cried.
There, made some amendments.
Anyway Pokémon continues with the Doctor/Officer Jenny explaining it was Tuvok and Seven who found the writers unconscious. Craig notices the magical notepad that writes episodes directly into a computer is missing (I want one), and he's told that FV is no longer being written by Marill and co. THE INTERNET REJOICES AND WORLD PEACE BEGINS
Though the episode still has no original lines or story, so I suspect LIES AND SLANDER!
"So you're not responsible for everything that's happened in this episode," the Doctor said.
"We're responsible up until you got contacted by the Krenim," Raichu said.
"Where's the writers hideout?" Chakotay asked.
"We can't tell you, it'll break the Fifth Voyager code," Firera said.
What, you didn't believe me about this storyline? Hahaha, that's cute. If it's insane, it's real.
The code, ah that brings back memories. Let's see if I remember it:
1) Always remember if no one's exclaiming, the episode isn't dramatic enough.
2) Avoid grammar at all costs
3) Writer cameos are awesome, we need moar
4) Voyager fans won't notice the Pokémon references, so as long as we're subtle about it, they won't notice a thing.
5) Never tell the Voyager crew about our hideout, they'll steal the Cherry Coke
6) I don't know when to use commas, so just throw in a few occasionally. We're bound to get it right at least once (I still use this one!)
7) There's never enough Pokémon, add more.
8) What the hell is this Backspace button for? Remind me to remove it, it's distracting me.
Did you guess this story was turning into Writers versus Writers, the battle of the zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz? Good job, have a cookie.
Did you guess that it would do it by ripping something off? If there are any cookies left, I doubt it, help yourself. Though it doesn't seem earned to me. I may as well reward you for answering 1+1 correctly.
Your next reward will come if you can figure out how it ties in with Year of Hell. It's tricky, I doubt you'll get it. For now though, whatever the episode of Pokémon continues with the writers sulking and refusing to help Voyager because??? Team Rocket do, duh.
"I know, it's just we're not writing this episode any more so we shouldn't help the crew," Firera said.
"Yeah, thanks for the help," Marill said. The three headed towards the door.
"Wait! I know you're upset about losing control of this situation! That's just how the rest of the crew feel," Tom yelled.
Why? What's happening besides these three bitching? *rewinds, or rather scrolls back up*
"I suspect it's not a coincidence that there's a lot of strange going's on and these three suddenly show up," Tuvok said.
Ah, that clears that up then!
The ship shook.
"All hands to battle stations, Krenim vessels approaching, repeat, all hands to battle stations."
"Lets go," Chakotay said.
Maybe you should have opened with that.
The Bridge was in shambles. There were black consoles everywhere. A support beam had collapsed near Harry's station. The floor was covered in ash and fallen deck plates.
Chakotay, Tuvok, Craig, Tom, Raichu, Firera & Marill entered through the turbolift.
Is that their special writers turbolift? It's mighty big or its a tight squeeze.
Holy moly a description that doesn't suck... for me. They're telling the truth, the writers are outtttt!
"What the hell are you doing?" Kathryn yelled at the girls.
"Captain, they're not responsible for what's happening here," Tuvok said.
"Then who is?" Kathryn asked as the Bridge shook violently.
"The ex writers of this episode, we had a completely different storyline planned so the creeps attacked us with our own Pokémon so they could take over," Marill said.
Who owns the Drowzee?
What was the different storyline? I'm pretty sure the plan was to have a FV version of YOH with Kiara causing mischief and a different reset button ending. That's not completely different at all. It's Marill saying it though, so I guess it fits.
"We can get into our hideout, those morons have to be there to write the episode," Firera said. The science console exploded, killing innocent Ensign Thingymajig.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Wait, science station. Good thing Danny got that transfer. It should've been the engineering station, right? That's the one YOH always blows up. Another good thing that Jessie still doesn't exis... er hasn't come back from her time off.
"Do it!" Kathryn ordered. Marill brought out her padd and started writing something.
"It's not working," Marill said.
"Why?" Raichu and Firera asked in unison.
"Those creeps have guessed our password and they've changed it!" Marill exclaimed.
Wait, I thought the pad was gone. OMG it's almost as if you're making this s$$$ up as you go along if there's no Pokémon scene to copy. It cannot be!
"How did they guess our unguessable password?" Firera asked.
"What was the password?" Tom asked even though he knew what was coming.
"Fifth Voyager," Raichu replied.
That's a lie, it was lillyiaf9!!!!
"I got an idea. In the Third dimension version of this episode, the Captain ordered Tuvok to fire four torpedoes as mines, maybe you could do that," Marill said.
S$$$
Nope, I was wrong. I suppose Aggressions Part 2 hinted that I forgot the original point of FV, branching dimensions because of one change etc... and improvised with fanfiction creates new dimensions and writers. FANBLOODYTASTIC
FU MARILL
Anyway Raichu reminds Brannon about the deck five overload and it happens. Thanks Raichu.
Brannon continues to write the episode word for word in the same "style" as Marill, then this abomination finishes the scene.
The ship shook extremely violently as the deck exploded.
"It's happening," Firera muttered.
"What?" Kathryn asked.
"The Year Of Hell is starting," Firera replied.
THAT'S A LIE AND YOU KNOW IT
Day 73 (or something like that):
Captains Log Stardate 51???.?: Voyager has suffered severe damage. Life support won't last long so I've ordered the crew except the senior staff to abandon ship.
SEEEE!
They're already abandoning ship, they've skipped most of original Part 1. No Annorax, Obris and their time ship, no more battles, no nothing. The change to the Krenim wasn't because a species were wiped from the timeline, it was because the original writers took the helm.
What saddens me is that back in the day people did read this, and yet I don't think its reboot has been, which goes out of its way to change the story without stealing anything. I'd say as a matter of fact that Original Season One chased away more potential readers than it attracted.
I don't want to read this, I don't like that it's associated with my later seasons and most of the prequels. I still love writing silly jokes and fourth wall banter, I do, but only if it goes with a story that's had some thought put into it, with a beginning, middle and end. Not this copycat s$$$ of a Pokémon and Voyager crossover.
Rant over for now. If I knew I was gonna type so much, I'd have gone back to rebooting Dark Frontier - which by the way, even with its copied lines, is a massive improvement over these first episodes. Makes sense I guess, but it was only a few months younger. Meh.
"Harry set a course to a place we can hide while we make repairs," Kathryn ordered. B'Elanna walked onto the Bridge followed by the writers.
"Captain, Raichu has found a way to contact the new writers," B'Elanna said.
I don't suppose you'll tell us what this way is.
Marill & Firera walked over to the command area. Brannon appeared on the screen.
"I can't believe you're back!" Brannon exclaimed.
"Hello there," Firera said sweetly.
Oh, the fake we're on your side, being far too nice despite you assaulting us earlier, OTT smiles act. Never fails.
"We've turned over a new leaf and we've decided that we should work together like fellow Voyager writers should," Firera said.
"Just to prove ourselves too you we've got something that could come in handy," Marill said and she brought out a new script.
"What do you think?" Joe whispered into Brannon's ear.
It's a Pokémon script, that's what I think.
"I think we could use some help with the script. Very well, we'll transport you lot over here in a few minutes," Brannon said.
Why, is it the Year of Hell script she's holding?
"Lets go, guys, we've got our fanfic series to win back," Marill said.
"YEAH!" Firera & Raichu exclaimed as they hi-fived each other.
"I'm lost, what's going on?" Harry asked. The look on everyone's faces made Harry turn back to his console.
Me too Harry, me too.
TO BE CONTINUED. I CAN'T CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT. HOW WILL I COPE...
Nope can't do it. Moving onto part 2 where I know full damn well what's coming.
Will the gang win back their fanfic series? Will Voyager survive the torment on having Brannon & Joe in charge and will Harry ever get what's going on? Find out next time on Fifth Voyager!
No, the real Marill comes back and does a slightly better job.
No of course Voyager won't survive. The rest of Fifth Voyager will be about the adventures of the Equinox.
No. He kills himself from stupid overdose. It's very sad.
"Okay Joe, beam them in," Brannon said.
"Should I beam in their big container thing too?" Joe asked.
"Huh? What container?" Brannon asked. He pressed a couple of buttons. "Brannon to Firera."
"Er...yeah?" Firera's voice muttered.
"What's with the container?" Brannon asked.
"It just contains the essential thing that you need to write an episode," Firera's voice replied.
"Well, should I beam it here?" Joe asked.
Computers were huge back in 2001. Also Coca Cola used to come in 2 litre bottles. Those were the days. There are also hammers in there too, which I used to keep my brain damage from healing.
"May as well, it's probably a better computer... nah no way," Brannon said. Joe pressed some controls and Firera, Marill & Raichu and a large container appeared. "So, what brought about this sudden change of heart?"
Told you.
"It's probably a better computer, naaaah... but I'll beam it anyway. What could possibly go wrong?"
"That's because there's more than just the three of us now," Marill said. The three pushed the container at them and Kathryn, Craig, Harry & B'Elanna jumped out of it. The container crashed into a wall.
That is a big container!
"It's all over now," Craig said.
"Hey Joe, look who it is, it's one of Marill & Firera's new characters," Brannon laughed.
HAHA look at that freak. He's an insecure teenaged boy obsessed with girls trying to fit in with the grown up senior staff. That's too stupid to be believable. He needs giant boobs and a tight outfit to show them off even more. At least he's blonde. That's a start.
"I'm telling you Fire, we don't need a Voyager/Pokémon crossover. We already have one!" Marill muttered.
NO S$$$ MARILL. I'm sure this episode branded FV a Pokémon crossover on a few sites that dared link to it. Thank you very much.
Oh and dialogue ending with an exclamation mark, but is a mutter. I know I still get tongue tied and rush my sentences out, but this is not the way to describe it.
"Quiet, this is real life now, I haven't got time for games!" Brannon said loudly.
I've found it. The world's biggest fib.
This fanfic is real, I haven't got time for games so we'll have a Pokémon match to sort it out.
"That's a Drownzee. It has a really annoying voice," Marill replied.
"Is that what's controlling the Pokémon?" Harry asked.
"Er...Harry, you're not suppose to know that yet," Firera said.
I THOUGHT THE RUNNING GAG WAS HARRY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING. MAYBE HE IS THE HERO WE NEED
"Go, Onix!" Craig yelled, he threw what looked like a Pokéball into the air. Everyone gave him a puzzled look. A giant rock snake appeared. Everyone looked at Marill.
"I think he introduced it a season too early," Marill muttered.
I think you pulled that out of your ass, so shut your garbled mouth.
Here it is folks. This was the "original" pitch for the Slayer mythos. Why is it in quotes, you ask? Well, funny you (didn't) ask. I had the Games planned in from the beginning, yet I had no idea how to pull it off yet. Kidz Trek didn't care that it was a blatant rip off of ReBoot, right down to its third season being written word for word. However before I started with Aggressions 2, FV cared. Any ripoffs would be reserved for jokes only. The Games needed a facelift.
So I kept them purple and cubed, still had the "game over" and "warning incoming game" warnings out of thin air, for a time kept the click icon to "reboot" into the game's programming, the cheat to survive lost games. The only thing I didn't steal were the Guardians. Great job!
Lots of work has since gone into the Games as past me couldn't be bothered to change anything-ness. That's not the point though, I'm just venting.
I can't remember the details since it was so long ago, but basically Pokémon were not considered once. I thought the Voyager crew would figure out a way to play these games, that's why the Softmicron (who had a much less ridiculous name in their Kidz Trek days, so mundane I don't remember it lawl) would gun for them later.
So, what am I saying? The original pitch for the Slayer mythos was actually; there was none. Morgan would be an ex-Borg, nothing more. Another character didn't exist at the time, so yeah. The dimension split between original and FV was simply Kiara's mysterious birth. So what you see in Year of Hell is as I said, me pulling a "BETTER" idea out of my ass with the Game Slayers=gifted Pokémon trainers and Games are ONLY Pokémon matches bullcrap.
I'm complaining a lot, with good reason. The only difference between the Reboot Game Cubes and FV's were another rip off. This only Pokémon trainers can fight the games was basically another way of using the Guardians, which makes it even more laughable. Nothing original about it whatsoever. HUUUUUGE BUT it worked out for the best. Why?
Note - a bit late but - spoilers for later seasons, no later than early Season Three.
Originally the Soft never showed their true form. It was rare to ever see any. It started as a joke, one of the Pokémon in the FV group would actually be a baby of one who obviously didn't know the first thing about shapeshifting. It assumed it was a Pokémon. Having a species like the Soft look like a cutesy thing is fitting for all the wrong and funny to me reasons.
The best thing was the Slayers themselves. Thankfully they evolved from randomly gifted idiots who knew when to use water gun instead of tackle against a rock, to what they are now. It gave the paradox with Kiara and Morgan/Lena a little more depth, it gave a terrible character like James a chance to change completely and become one of my favourite creations. It added more oomph to the Millennium turned Season Five storyline.
The character development arcs for Lena and James that came with these changes is in my opinion worth slugging through this Pokémon crap for two seasons. I'll still complain occasionally, that's my thing. If you think I won't during Holo Q and The Slayers, you're mad, mad I tell you.
ANYWAY I've wrote enough on this, let's complain some more. Wooohhoooo!
"Do it Drownzee!" Brannon yelled. Drownzee did it's thing but Onix seemed unaffected.
"Ohno," Joe moaned.
Ohno, that's what you get for using a low accuracy move. The way it's written though makes me believe I meant Onix was immune to it, and uh... why would it be?
Pikachu, Raichu and a few others used electric attacks. Onix seemed okay.
"Ha, ground doesn't conduct electricity," Craig said.
Charizard and a few others fired a fire blast.
"Hmm, fire is not very effective against rock," Craig muttered.
The Pokémon Marill and a few others fired a water gun. Onix roared in pain.
Sit down kiddies who weren't born when this was written, let ol' Marill give you a tutorial on Pokémon elements and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
"Oh crap," Craig muttered. Firera tried to get past the crossfire of fire, electric, grass & water.
"Firera, what are you doing?" Marill yelled.
"Pikachu, stop now!" Firera yelled. It didn't listen and it fired an electric blast at her.
Oh yeah, Firera was nominated, or the dip landed on her, to be dumbass suicidal Ash for this rip off scene. Well she owns the Pikachu so she was probably stuck with it regardless. She risks herself to talk her hypnotised into confusion* Pokémon out of it cos nobody has any full heals or any berries. Not that Pikachu hits itself in its confusion*, this using anything other than a physical bop on its head towards people is just plain hax in the Pokémon world.
"Drownzee, take control of Pikachu," Joe said. Pikachu's eyes glowed red again. An electric blast hit Firera and she fell to the ground. Somehow she got straight back up.
I THOUGHT IT ALREADY WAS CONTROLLING IT
WHY AM I SHOUTING AT FV FOR THIS, THIS WAS A POKÉMON LINE.
"Is that the best you can do?" Firera said. Pikachu attempted another blast but missed. "Catch me if you can!" Firera yelled. She started to run away, Pikachu ran after her.
"Hey isn't Catch Me If You Can a song by Angela Via?" Marill asked.
STFU MARILL
Though at the same time, thanks for breaking the word-for-word theft of a different show.
Meanwhile on Voyager:
"There's a storm, we have to leave this nebula or we'll be destroyed!" Seven said."Do it," Tuvok ordered. Seven walked away from her usual console and she headed to the con. She pressed a couple of commands.
"We're not moving," Seven said.
"Keep trying, revert power to the engines," Tuvok said.
What? Why aren't we "watching" this instead. It's much more interesting. THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS.
SEASON ONE!
Meanwhile on the time ship:
"Fire!" Annorax yelled."Temporal Incursion in progress," Obris said.
Annorax asked his usual questions as Tom walked over to Chakotay.
WHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
So let me get this absolutely straight before I continue. Somewhere between the writers getting beaten up by the original writers and the lie to get them in for a round 2, Year of Hell took place behind the scenes. Voyager got their temporal shields, they met Annorax, Chakotay and Tom were kidnapped, Voyager escaped and crippled themselves. Yet when the log sums up and explains what's happening, we only get "we're severely hurt, run away".
1. It took them all that time to come up with "lets be nice to them" plan to talk to Brannon and Joe?
2. Chakotay and Tom are not even an afterthought
3. I kinda get it, I do. I didn't want to copy Year of Hell word for word. That doesn't mean it's okay for it to play out in the background and only be used at random intervals (with no explanation as to what gone on before) to break up the "main story" scenes. It's not only terrible writing but it's insulting. It's also a bit cheeky to use a Pokémon episode word for word as a means to avoid YOH's.
4. I mean come on, look at this s$$$
Meanwhile on Voyager:
"There's a storm, we have to leave this nebula or we'll be destroyed!" Seven said."Do it," Tuvok ordered. Seven walked away from her usual console and she headed to the con. She pressed a couple of commands.
"We're not moving," Seven said.
"Keep trying, revert power to the engines," Tuvok said.
Meanwhile on the time ship:
"Fire!" Annorax yelled."Temporal Incursion in progress," Obris said.
Annorax asked his usual questions as Tom walked over to Chakotay.
"Have you had enough yet, Chakotay? If you don't stop him I will!" Tom exclaimed and he walked away.
"I'll be in my chambers," Annorax said.
That's it. That's flipping it. The scenes add nothing to the episode but questions, whether you've seen YOH or not.
What nebula?
Why is the storm so dangerous to Voyager?
Why can't Voyager move away from it?
Who is Annorax firing at and why?
No actually, who is Annorax and wtf is this time ship?
What usual questions?
Why is Tom and Chakotay there?
Why is Tom so mad? And why does his dialogue suggest that Chakotay's on this Annorax's side?
Why does it matter if Annorax goes to his flipping chambers. SO WHAT, I DON'T KNOW WHO HE IS AND WHAT HIS PROBLEM IS
WHO CARES, IT'S BACK TO POKÉMON
Back in the Fifth Voyager Hideout:
Pikachu followed Firera to the machine which Drownzee was connected to. She was laughing."Why is she smiling?" Raichu asked.
"She's got something up her sleeve," Marill said.
"I think she's lost it," Brannon said.
Ding, ding, correct Brannon. Twenty points. You would've gotten thirty if you had mentioned she's also copying Ash's bulls$$$ plan in the original episode.
Anyway blah blah Firera tricks the brainwashed Pikachu into firing its attack at the machine that boosts Drownzee's brainwashing power (lol has this whole episode misspelt it's name, or was it just the once?). The machine explodes, the neighbours complain, someone calls the police.
Okay, somewhere that stopped being true. Ahem. Anyway the Pokémon return to normal. All's forgiven.
Everyone starts yelling some more when the original writers get peed off at the idea of the Voyager cast returning to their ship, god forbid. One Poke fires some weedy leaves at them, which leave the original writers with prickly itchy skin. So much yelling. That's 2003's edits stealing all your exclaimed's, I have no doubt.
Everyone exited the mysterious building. All of the Pokémon exited the gate which took them back to their dimension.
Everyone exited Marill's house. Once they're gone her neighbour decides to quit drinking before he ends up in the Daily Mail for telling the police about monsters throwing elements around in the house. Meanwhile the totally real monsters exit through a gate the house hasn't got yet, which makes them vanish, in plain sight in the middle of a street, probably filled with kids. A few are lost running after them, also shouting F bombs and waving massive tree branches they've cruelly torn from trees. The parents are sad their benefits caps are reduced and promptly get to "work" to bring it back up, ahem.
August 2017 Note: I've edited the above which made jokes about a particular family member of mine shouting and then being carted to a mental hospital. These now hit far too close to home and so are gone. Really. It was so eery.
"Is that everything taken care of?" Craig asked.
"I think so," B'Elanna said.
"That wasn't too bad," Marill said.
"This isn't over!" Joe's voice yelled from the top of the building.
Son of a...
Get off that roof Joe, it's mostly sloped and the tiles aren't that great.
"We still have a score to settle, don't we Marill," Brannon yelled.
"Some people don't know when to quit. So Braga, how are we battling?" Marill said.
"It looks like it's two on two," Brannon said.
It does? It looks like it's two on many. Also don't be silly, double battles won't exist until Ruby and Sapphire, you newb.
"Hey, what about me?" Firera asked.
"What do you mean?" Raichu asked.
"Hey, I'm part of the gang too you know," Firera said.
I dunno, Raichu's debatable as it is. It's some delusional 15 year old "blue mouse" typing stupid, probably with some notes from her school friends about what else'd be funny.
"All right, go Pikachu," Firera said. Pikachu jumped up and used it's Thunder Bolt. Drownzee teleported away from Brannon & Joe and reappeared in front of Pikachu.
"Victreebell, tackle attack!" Raichu ordered. Victreebell charged at Drownzee but it teleported away again.
"We'll beat them," Marill said.
"You will?" Kathryn asked.
Hang on... WHY IS THE VOYAGER CREW EVEN HERE? APART FROM CRAIG, THEY'VE DONE SOD ALL. Why isn't Janeway commanding Voyager during their Year of.... *snort giggle* Never mind, nobody cares about that. Have another Pokémon battle
And lol Drownzee is still the spelling of choice. Oh how failtastic. It's Drowzee, as in drowsy. I'm beginning to feel it too.
"Use your mega punch!" Brannon ordered. Drownzee threw it's arm back and punched the four Pokémon with full force. They all collapsed.
"How's it so strong?" Craig asked.
"Remember, we write this episode," Brannon said.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
"All right Drownzee, use your Hypnosis attack, take control of the Pokémon again," Joe ordered.
"Pikachu!" Firera yelled.
"Too bad there's nothing you can do to stop us, young lady, Drownzee use your Metronome!" Brannon ordered. Drownzee started moving it's fingers side to side in unison.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzaaaaaaaah *bang* ow, fell of my chair again. Where were we?
"What's Metronome?" Raichu asked.
"It means we're toast!" Craig exclaimed. Marill (the Pokémon) started copying off Drownzee. Suddenly everything froze. There was an huge explosion.
Oh :(
Can Marill even learn Metronome? So many questions.
Meanwhile on Voyager:
"Commander, there's someone on Deck Twelve," Seven said."Who is it?" Tuvok asked.
"I can't tell, sensor still aren't functioning at full capacity," Seven replied. "This isn't possible, Commander, the storm has stopped."
The writers are back, anything is possible except maybe decent storytelling and grammar.
Case in point "sensor still aren't functioning" *snigger* hahahahaha
Back at the hideout:
A police truck was parked outside the building, or what's left of it. Brannon and Joe were locked up inside it."Looks like we're locked up again!" they said in unison as the truck drove away.
"Hope we don't see you again!" Raichu yelled.
"I bet Berman won't bail them out this time," Firera said.
"I bet he does," B'Elanna said.
"It doesn't matter whether he does or he doesn't as long as we got control of the episode back," Marill said.
Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhh
I'm dying for some original dialogue here. Wasting away here.
"Go ahead, Tuvok," Kathryn replied.
"I recommend we leave this nebula. A storm appeared and it nearly destroyed us."
"Yeah, we stopped it," Firera said.
Careful what you wish for, present day Marill. While we're on the subject, if Brannon and Joe were writing Year of Hell exactly the way it was, wtf was that storm? I remember the meteor shower, but that was after they left the nebula, which they've mentioned they're still in a few times.
I checked, I got the YOH days correct but couldn't get this right. Okay.
"The writers have regained control of the episode, Commander. Beam us all back," Kathryn said.
The writers have regained control of the episode, Commander. Beam some phasers here, we need to get to work.
"We'd better find another hideout," Raichu said.
"Good luck," B'Elanna said.
"Don't worry, we'll set everything right," Firera said. Kathryn, Craig, Harry & B'Elanna beamed away.
"So what about my place?" Marill asked.
Nooooo my present day jokes. It wasn't my house. I'm disappointed. I'm NOT changing it. I wonder where this "mysterious" hideout was if it wasn't. These are the things I want answering.
Day 180:
A large cluster of mini asteroids headed Voyager's way."If this is their was of fixing things up, I think I'd rather rely on Brannon," Harry said.
HAHAHAHA WHAT CHUMPS. I WARNED YOU, DIDN'T I WARN YOU? MARILL'S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT IDEA WAS TO STILL HAVE YEAR OF HELL HAPPEN BUT ADD "NEW" SCENES TO IT AND CHANGE THE ENDING. YOU'VE BEEN PLAYED FOR FOOLS. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
"This is the Third Voyager script, it's better than Brannon's script for crying out loud!" Firera's voice said.
IT. IS. THE. SAME. THING. THAT WAS THE SODDING PROBLEM. YOURS IS NO DIFFERENT EITHER. SHUT UP
Kathryn looked around and she spotted a loose deck plate. She picked it up. "Bridge, I'm going in, stand by to engage the deflector, tell the Doctor I and another person will be coming back with severe burns."
Wait, what? The asteroid scene actually exists? The stupid idea to endanger Kiara in the fire scene, the one I couldn't fit into the reboot and thought it never would, was done. And I blamed it on the original writers. Oh lawl.
Not that you know that Kiara's involved yet, but hey!
Oh yeah and now that the writers are "back", we're back to them commenting off screen on everything. YAY!!!!! *dies inside*
The rest of the scene plays out as normal, then we go to the Mess Hall. Since "someone else" that hasn't been named in the story was in the fire, you'd expect the dialogue next to change but...
"How is she?" Kathryn asked.
"She suffered the worst of it. I've treated most of your wounds but without a dermal regenerator I couldn't treat both of your burns," the Doctor said. Kathryn sat up and she looked at Kiara who was asleep on the next bio bed.
What were you expecting? More than a sentence and a few me's changed into "us", and both's added onto "you're" a few times. HAHAHA
"She's staying here because she needs to recover and you're staying here because you're obviously suffering from traumatic stress disorder. The symptoms are irritability, sleeplessness, obsession, reckless thoughts, and you've already shown these symptoms," the Doctor replied.
Yeah, it's been so exciting watching this develop. Oh wait.
"I'm not going to stand here while you rationalize another brush with death," the Doctor said. Kathryn started walking away.
Rationalizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Wha... what? I didn't nod off again, I swear I was only doing the spell check.
We're over half way through YOH part 2, so colour me surprised to actually find that the plot has shifted to Year of Hell. I always assumed Pokémon played out till the very end. Also very surprised I did do the Kiara in trouble scene, no matter how pointless it ended up being due to how very little was written.
So far everything's mostly the same, and I'm let wondering if the second half is more of this. No, I'm wondering if I chickened out on the reset button ending. Probably.
Kathryn, Craig and Kiara were walking down a corridor. Kathryn was holding Kiara. Kathryn and Craig were scanning with tricorders.
Who's carrying Kiara and Naomi is more important than any other plot detail, so deal with it.
Kathryn put Kiara down and they all walked in. Kiara picked up a watch and she started swinging it by it's chain. Kathryn walked over to her and she took it off her.
"He disobeyed orders," Kathryn muttered.
"Captain?" Craig asked.
"Can I play with it?" Kiara asked.
The same scene, with a kid saying things. SEASON ONE
"I want to play with it," Kiara moaned. Craig gave her an extra tricorder.
"Here play with this," he said. Kiara giggled and she started pressing all the buttons.
"Come on," Kathryn said.
Great stuff.
"If that little display months ago doesn't convince you then I don't know what will, he's insane!" Tom exclaimed.
"No he's not, wounded, maybe even tortured, I can still reach him, convince him to stop," Chakotay muttered.
More original Year of Hell scenes word for word, with exclaimed's. Why didn't Fifth Voyager take off again? It's a mystery.
"Okay, he's lost his family, okay that's a terrible thing but so has everyone else on this ship and frankly so have we!" Tom exclaimed. Chakotay put down the pad.
HE MENTIONED LOSING HIS FAMILY, CHAKOTAY'S LOST HIS COS YOU KNOW KIARA *WINK WINK*. SURELY THERE'D BE SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOLLOWING THIS LINE TO SHOW OFF THIS DIFFERENCE, COS YOU KNOW, THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF THE SERIES. I CAN'T WAIT...
"What kind of progress have you made?" he asked.
"Obris is coming around, and I think we can trust him. He says he can get access to the communications array, I can send a message to Voyager in the comfort of my own quarters," Tom said.
"And the temporal core?" Chakotay asked.
It's coming. I'm sure of it.
"And Captain Janeway attacking from Voyager...that's if the Captain's still alive," Tom said.
"She's alive. Send a message, transmit our coordinates," Chakotay said.
Be patient.
"Done," Tom said and he started to walk out the room.
"Tom, give Kathryn my best," Chakotay said. Tom smiled and he walked out of the room.
What? Not even a FV'ery "and Kiara" addition to the original line? What sorcery is this? I don't even know what to say anymore. I can't even SEASON ONE, as it didn't do anything of the sort.
Day 365:
Oh, hahahaha. Original Voyager didn't do the whole year, but we did despite the events being alike. Take that critics!
"I know Captain Janeway, she wouldn't be attacking unless she knew she could do some damage," Chakotay said.
Meanwhile, Tom's quarters:
A console beeped. Tom turned to it. He started working.
Still no changes whatsoever. How exciting. I dunno what's worse, the Pokémon episode or Year of Hell copied and pasted without anything new.
"I'm sorry sir, it's over," Obris said. He pressed some controls, the lights dimmed and the alarm went off. Chakotay and Tom beamed away.
"We're phasing out of space time," Annorax said. He pushed Obris away from the console. "Reconfigure to conventional weapons," Annorax ordered.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Time Ship:
"Weapons up to full capacity," some bloke said."Fire at will," Annorax ordered.
Hahahahaha. Some bloke. When does the lad overuse begin. Nm. Where was I? Oh yeah
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
"Fire at will," Annorax ordered.
Meanwhile the brand new Enterprise E got caught in a wormhole and they suddenly appeared in the middle of the battle. Picard left Riker in charge. The Krenim fired and somehow the weapons changed course and headed for the Enterprise.
No, snooze button. I swear it's the last time I press it. Zzzz, wait what? Something different is happening?
Damn it, Picard was fleeing the bridge in terror long before those Youtube videos made that a running gag. I demand compensation.
"Don't worry, we're on the Enterprise E and we're in a story written by Marill and two others, we can't get killed," Will said.
That's a good point...
"Yes we can, the shields have disappeared!" Data exclaimed.
Calm down, that happens a lot, just ask the warp core shield. OOOOOOHHH I DID IT AGAIN, I AM MERCILESS, I AM SO FUNNY *warp core shield runs off crying*
"Ohno! Picard's going to kill me, this is the second ship I've blown up!" Will exclaimed.
"Oh s***!" Data swore.
Thanks for telling me that, I never would've guessed.
BOOOOMM!!!!!!!
"NOOOOOOOO! You destroyed the Enterprise E, you b******" Marill's voice yelled.
NOOOOO MY SEASON EIGHT/FIVE PLOT!! WHO WILL BE MY PLOT DEVICE NOW?
Wait, why are only those two lines indented? And this isn't:
"Don't worry, this is a time episode, it'll get reverted back to normal," Firera's voice said.
Oh. Cancel red alert.
"Huh, where did that ship come from?" Annorax asked.
"It just came out of nowhere, it had the same bio signatures as Voyager," the bloke said.
"Not the same defences I take it," Annorax said.
Janeway had one requirement for new crewmembers. No Will's. Any Marquis Will's were shot into the first nebula she found (maybe not the coffee one), while she muttered "fire will at"
But lol, yeah Voyager's so badly damaged and survives the barrage, Enterprise E flies in and gets blown up in one hit. I told you that warp core shield does more harm than good.
I DID IT AGAIN. NO MERCY!
Anyway back to Year of Hell word for word.
The Time ship fired weapons and they hit Voyager and one Nahydron vessel. The alien ship collided with Voyager causing even more serious damage. Meanwhile on the Voyager Bridge, there were fires everywhere. There was a big hole, with a forcefield blocking it, where the viewscreen used to be.
Kathryn was checking Kiara's pulse, she was dead. Angrily, she pulled herself up onto her chair.
OH S$$$ SON, THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING. THIS IS WHAT ALL THE SAME SCENES WERE BUILDING UP TO. ANNORAX KILLED KIARA, NOW JANEWAY WILL REAP BLOODY VENGEANCE AND SO WE DON'T GET THE SAME RESET BUTTON ENDING. MAYBE SHE'LL BEAM OVER AND HUNT ANNO...
"Janeway to Nahydron vessel, take your temporal shields off line, I'm setting a collision course with the time ship," Kathryn said.
Oh :(
"Because I'm going to finish off that son of a b**** once and for all! Anyway it might revert the timeline back to normal," Kathryn said angrily.
"Go Kathy! Go Kathy! Go Kathy!" Craig's voice yelled.
Well, at least vengeance is the first thought she had for this plan. "Anyway" it "might" revert the timeline. Meh even if it doesn't, I'm still gonna look that three episode old kid murderer in the eye while I drive my ship into his face and laugh as he screams.
Voyager collided with the time ship. The hull crushed easily.
Hmmm... or that.
"The collision is going to cause a temporal incursion within the ship!" Annorax said. He ran into his chambers. The container with his wife's hair in smashed on the ground. The hair disappeared. The ship imploded and a giant temporal wave erupted from it.
Oh yeah, the wife's hair. Forgot to mention that sooner. Might as well mention it anyway, because.
Let's see if I changed the ending... pffthhahahaha, you'd never buy it. Of course not!
Day One:
All of the senior staff were on the Bridge. Seven was standing next to Harry at his usual station. Craig was standing behind the command chairs. Tuvok and Tom were at their usual places. B'Elanna was sitting at the science console. Neelix was sitting on Chakotay's left. Kiara was being held by Kathryn. The Doctor was standing near Craig.
Phew, didn't forget to make sure Kiara was being held and we know by who. Can't ever rest easy until that's pointed out.
"Captain Janeway, of the starship Voyager, we're just passing by trying to get home," Kathryn said.
"This region is in dispute, I suggest you avoid our territory," the Krenim guy said.
FU KIDS, GET OFF MY KRENIM LAWN. THE ZAAL HAVE NO CLAIM HERE. I LOVE TEMPORAL TORPEDOES. SURRENDER OR BE DESTROYED.
*blank faces*
ONLY JOKING, LOL, GET GOING LITTLE SCAMP *ruffles Voyager's hair*
"Hey guys! Why don't we have a party to celebrate our new lab," Craig said.
"Sounds great," Harry said.
FIFTH VOYAGER DRUNK SCENES. I'M IN!
Unaware of the adventure they'd forgotten, Voyager continues on her journey home. Gee, I wonder if the Fifth Voyager writers found a new place to write?
Gee, I wonder if the narration's style will change for a stupid writers joke/scene? You betcha.
Firera's house:
"How did we end up here?" Raichu asked."I suggested my place, but no, Firera had to choose her house," Marill said.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY HOUSE? IT HAS CHERRY COKE, TWO BATHROOMS AND A TREE* though in 2001 it was probably still a baby weed looking thing but I digress. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?
Also whose house was destroyed in that battle? Raichu's? Or was the hideout in the IT room at school? SOMEBODY TELL ME! I HAVE TO KNOW!
"Now we have to babysit her little brother all night," Raichu moaned.
Don't you people have parents? Since when is Marill allowed out of her padded room, I mean house, after dark?
"Wait guys!" Firera yelled. Lanny walked up to her with a Pokémon card.
"Do you wanna battle with me?" he asked.
"Sure," Firera said and she pulled out a Pokéball. She threw it and Arbok came out.
"Charr-bokka!" it hissed. Lanny ran out of the room screaming. Firera locked the door.
I don't care if it's Pokémon related and a writer's scene, but I laughed. Sue me.
##############
Well let's see how everything tallies up.
Marill's Rating: 2/10
I dunno what to say that I already haven't. There's more Year of Hell in there than I thought there was, so a plus there. Any points that earns is snatched away by the scenes being exactly alike, barring a few details like HOLY CRAP KIARA'S BURNT/DEAD SO EDGY and an Enterprise fire at will joke. The Writers battles might have been merely ok if they were original. Since they were also word for word copies of a Pokémon episode, that part of the story is only annoying and a waste of everyone's time. The biggest crime is completely ignoring everything from the deck 5 overload to the asteroid barrage, having it play out unseen while Pokémon crap takes place. AND THEN continue on as if that didn't happen and the readers saw everything.
Anything new to Year Of Hell is either unoriginal or is blink and you miss it pointless. Kiara being injured and killed did nothing to change anything but a few lines of dialogue. The Enterprise joke is stupid, not even funny. I only liked the image of a kid brother asking his sister for a trading card game battle, and she responds with the real thing. When that is your only scene that's different and only slightly smile worthy, then you've failed as anything.
It gets 2/10 merely because of that and that despite my copycat complaints, this was considered trying. The episode surprised me by going into YOH, which I believed it ignored completely in part 2, and it reached the conclusion. It's more than I can say about Aggressions and its so called Scorpion scenes.
Oh and no motto's that I could see. Dat exclaimed count though, and to think the 2003 edits probably removed some *shudder*
Exclaimed Count: 17 (36 Overall)
Muttered Count: 13 (31 Overall)
Motto Count: 0 (4 Overall)
Sexist crap against my own gender count: 0 (1 Overall)