Marill Re-Reads "True Q"

Morgan walked into the Mess Hall. She noticed that a lot of the people there were looking at her, and laughing quietly. She headed over to the only clear table, which was on the other side of the room.

As she walked past the crewmembers on her way, she heard their voices buzzing through her head. She tried to ignore them and sat down at the available table. She looked around, and noticed that Craig was sitting on his own on a nearby table. She stood up, and headed over.

Ok, so the implication here is everyone knows the Kiara rumour now and these people are laughing at Morgan?

I'd complain but this would happen in real life too. It's always the girl that's to blame, or she's lying, so harhar *point and laugh* Forget the brig, James is gonna be hailed as a misunderstood hero, while Morgan will have to change her name and close her Twitter account to avoid death threats.

"Hi, Craig," she said quietly.

"What do you want?" he asked.

Oh Craig, you're on my s$$$ list. Even I can't believe your jealousy is that bad

Morgan stared at him for a couple of seconds. She nodded her head. "You do, but at least you're not thinking the same as everyone else."

"Actually I'm just hoping it's not true," Craig said.


"So who is Kiara's dad?" Craig muttered.

"You know that Q who looks a bit nuts..." Morgan said.

"Him, that's a lot worse than James," Craig said in disbelief.

Oh yeah sure, but just by an incy tad. *twitch*

"He used his powers to make me pregnant Craig, he didn't actually get anywhere. This was all in another timeline, so in retrospect it didn't actually happen," Morgan said.

Whether he got anywhere or not is irrelevant here, ffs. Morgan is a victim. She shouldn't have to explain herself

I know, I know, this happens. It doesn't mean I can't be mad at it. I'll begrudingly accept it as a positive at the end since it's realistic even by today's standards let alone 2001/2. It doesn't change the fact that I dislike the blame/distrust the victim mentality.

"When I came in, all I could hear was 'slut', 'there's the whore', you get the idea," Morgan replied.

"I didn't hear that," Craig said.

"Of course not, they were thinking it," Morgan said.


"Oh right. You've got to give them a break Morgan, they haven't been told the truth yet," Craig said.


God damn, it's intentional but it doesn't mean I can't mark it

Sexist Crap Count: 4 (1 for the crews thoughts on this, 1 for Craig being huffy/blaming Morgan, 1 for Craig's "give them a break, they think you consented to sleeping with someone at 13, even though that's legally not possible", 1 for Morgan feeling like she has to explain she never consented. 13 years old or not, she doesn't belong to Craig and so owes him sod all)

"I can understand that, but I don't see why I'm a slut all of a sudden. I bet everyone in this room isn't even a virgin," Morgan said.

Oh god I'm having flashbacks to my early Bittersweet Re-Read

Here though I'm gonna give her a break with this thought process. Bittersweet she says something like this to and about someone she's friends with and hasn't done anything. Here she's commenting on people who are wrongly judging her, in a way a 16 year old would. Or 16 year old me would, why else is slut the magic insult of Season Two?

She's not explaining it well but she has a point (unlike Bittersweet's version). If these people think she and James had a thing, an underaged thing *gags*, why are they giggling at her like silly teenagers? I'll bet 99% of them have their own stories to tell, so what's so funny? Does everyone think so lowly of James or something...?

"Oh right, not including you I take it," Morgan said.

"No of course not, I'm not a virgin," Craig said nervously.

Cleanup of extreme denial on aisle 2

"Hey, I think it's better off that you're not at your age," Morgan said.

"I'm twenty two," Craig said.

"Your point being?" Morgan asked.

"Well, a twenty two year old virgin sounds stupid," Craig said.

Scratch that, cleanup of extreme denial and toxic masculinity on aisle 2. Best wear gloves and bring the bleach

Morgan shook her head. "That's stupid. There's nothing wrong with that," Morgan said.

*thumbs up*

"That's easy for you to say, you're only sixteen. I'm probably the only twenty two year old guy that's a virgin," Craig said.

Morgan thought, "ok, this isn't a very good example, but Craig won't know the difference."

"I bet that's not true. Take James for example. That love spell incident happened when he was about twenty seven," Morgan said.

Oh good lordie

Yes Morgan, it isn't a good example even if it was true. It'll probably work too because he has a competitive jealousy of James, and so he'd buy it with no proof.

And why is Morgan giving a s$$$ about making Craig feel better? This isn't her style at all, and I was perfectly happy with her "nothing wrong with it" line.

Craig laughed slightly. "How do you know that it was the first time?"


"Let me refresh your memory, we're talking about childish, timid James here," Morgan replied.


Would past Marill stop forgetting or trying to backtrack on the develop James into the not a coward, has killed people, off screen badasser, Seven bitch slapping, and despite his awkward getting together with Jessie, is reasonably confident with his love life, character. Childish, timid James my ass.

To annoy me further there's a writer's intermission, so skip!

He noticed that Morgan was looking towards a young woman on a neighbouring table. Suddenly she stood up and she headed straight over to the table.

"So I'm a slut, am I?" Morgan said angrily. The women looked up at her.

"I didn't say anything," she said.

I'm sorry but I'm gonna root for Morgan here. I know the woman's only thinking it but it's really really gross a so called enlightened crew would believe a 16 year old is a slut because an adult man took advantage of her, allegedly.


"You have no right to listen to people's thoughts," the woman said.

"Most of the time it is accidental, anyway I do have a right if you're thinking about me," Morgan said.

"Look, I don't think you're a slut, so go away," the woman said.

"You don't mean that, you never learn do you," Morgan said.

At this point, nearly the entire room was watching the scene.

"I know you all think the same about me, so you can cut it out right now!" Morgan yelled. She stormed out.


"Wow, she lost it easy," the woman said.

"A little too easy," Craig muttered, and he followed Morgan out. He was forced to run to catch up with her.


"No, but you did lose your temper just a little too quickly," Craig said.

"That stupid woman kept looking over at me, and thinking slut at the same time. I had to tell her off," Morgan said.

"But why did you yell at everyone else?" Craig asked.

I'm sure Tom has plenty of room in his Piece of S*** club, so sod off there Craig and leave poor Morgan to deal with her traumatic life changing event however she wants.

"If you react like that they'll think that Kiara's story is true," Craig said.

UH, NO, NO THEY WON'T. Morgan's always had a fiery temper anyway and people would be mad if they were insulted for something they didn't have any control over. So no FU

"I suppose the main problem would be trying to tell Kiara the truth when she thinks that her idea is correct. I've noticed that everyone is feeling sorry for her, and giving her lots of attention. It makes me sick," Morgan said.

Oh dear, it begins. This will make it tough for some readers to have any sympathy for her. Still I think it's not hard to see it from her perspective and/or understand her behaviour anyway. Think about what she's been told; "your younger self/sister is actually your daughter, your life is a lie; everything you remember is fabricated or your daughter's memories, we tried to erase you from existence but we failed, oopsie." Then add on people thinking you're a whore and laughing at you, while the daughter gets away with spreading the lie that caused it. Yikes

Still, on the other side of the fence is a 5 year old girl who's only been told her future self/sister is really her mother, and been left to figure the rest out for herself. She's assumed who her father is and thinks she and him are lying to protect themselves, so decides to out them.

There really is a both sides in this story. Kiara shouldn't have told people and Morgan shouldn't be mad at her for getting sympathy. Meanwhile Kiara's understandably upset and confused, and very young, and Morgan's had her whole world turned upside down and will not know who she even is. Yeah, it's a bit shaky in how it's written, but I approve of this. I just wish Craig would stop mansplaining and making this about him, he needs a good slap.

"If it was true, I'd feel sorry for her too," Craig said. Morgan shot him an icy glare. "Well, you see, er, I didn't mean that I'd feel sorry for her because she knows that you're her mother," Craig stuttered.


"Sorry, I'm still a bit on edge. I thought you meant.." Morgan said.

"Why would I think that?" Craig asked.

Dear god, Morgan apologises to him. And she said he was right with the "shouting will make people think it's true". Typical of a victim to do and it makes me sad

Anyway Janeway calls her to the Ready Room, and according to Craig and Morgan it didn't sound good. Since it's an intercom and so no muttered, we have to take their word for it.

Jessie was wandering around the main part of the room, like she was waiting for something.

A brief flash of light lit up the room.

"Jessie dear, you called," Q2 said cheerfully.

HO BOY, THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD *grabs popcorn*

"Right here goes. Morgan told me that the baby James and I were going to have, survived in the other timeline. Do you mind explaining why," Jessie said.

"I was hoping you'd never ask that," Q2 said.

"What a shame, just explain it to me," Jessie said.


"Well when I found out about that ceremony thing and the pregnancy, I was upset to say the least..." Q2 said.


"Well, erm, the original time round I didn't get involved with Voyager, so I didn't meet you until I laid my eyes on Morgan or Lena. That's why your kid lived," Q2 said.


"Now I understand. You were jealous, so you were the one who killed our child, am I right?" Jessie asked.

"That's right," Q2 replied.

Jessie punched him in the face. The force made him fall backwards to the ground.


Jessie's Sin Points: -10

"Hey, what was that for?" Q2 moaned.

"I nearly broke up with James because of you!" Jessie yelled.

And er... the dead baby part is bad too, yeah?

Time for awkward backstory that I HAD to write into the prequels, begrundingly and all

"The man that introduced us to the ceremony told me that the child was a gift. If one of the parents, in anyway, doesn't want it, it dies. James thought that my fear was what killed it, and we were really close to breaking up for good!" Jessie replied.

Yeah um, that doesn't make James look good.

And yeah it's er, isn't good, yeah... god damn it.

I'll talk about this, I will. Lets judge the rest of the scene first.

"Well you two did that to yourselves," Q2 muttered as he stood back up. Jessie punched him again, and he fell back to the ground.

Jessie's Sin Points: -5

The "he killed my baby" punch was far more satisfying.

"Right here's the deal. You give me the chance to go back in time to change what happened, and we'll make it even," Jessie said.


Wow I forgot about this

"Don't give me that. Remember Before Fifth Voyager Season 1 episode 'Second Chance', you gave James the chance to change something in his past," Jessie replied.

sigh x2

That was a terribly missed opportunity, it's in dire need of a reboot, thanks for reminding me.

"He told you about that, what an idiot," Q2 muttered. Jessie hit him again. This time he just stumbled backwards. "Would you stop doing that!" he screamed.

Jessie's Sin Points: -1

"That stupid ceremony nearly ruined our relationship. I want to go back to before it. I'll try to stop us from going through with it in the first place," Jessie replied.

Well, well, this is certainly a twisty path I didn't expect

"Well, when I did this for James, he ended up wanting everything back to the way it was when he saw the result. So this time, I'll show you what the present will look like if I did this for you," Q2 said.

Ok, that's it for the scene. It looks like we'll back with them later so the split up ramble I was gonna have will have to wait. For the moment I'm questioning the event that Jessie intends to change. Why doesn't she just ask to go back to undo Q's baby murder, that'd prevent the break up too. From the info we have so far she'd prefer to not go through the pregnancy at all to avoid heartbreak, in more ways than one.

I suppose when I think about it if Q took her back, he'd have to deal with his past self. What's stopping his past self from stopping him? Avoiding the murder might not be possible?

"We've been talking to Kiara about our current situation. Well I was wondering if you've ever thought about Kiara in all of this," Kathryn said.




"Look in my opinion, I'm the one who needs some consideration. In a way Kiara's got better than me. She's got grandparents, she still has parents.." Morgan said.


"She thought of you as a sister, now this has suddenly come up. For a girl her age, it can be very difficult," Chakotay said.


"What do you expect me to do," Morgan asked.

"At least show some consideration for her feelings," Kathryn said.


"What about my feelings?" Morgan asked.


Yes Morgan, exactly. Oh gods

"Morgan, you're a tough girl, you can handle it.

OH DROP DEAD YOU %£^£%&%$(^*%(

In a way Kiara is only four years old. She's clearly upset, can't you see that?" Chakotay said.

Morgan is only sixteen years old. She's clearly upset, can't YOU see that you prick

"Just because I'm tough, doesn't mean that I don't have feelings," Morgan said.


"Obviously, but our point is Kiara needs someone to care for her," Kathryn said.


"What about me? A few days ago I was a normal sixteen year old girl, who had a life. Now I'm a girl with a daughter who looks about two years younger than me, and also most of my life is just some made up memories implanted into my brain. If it wasn't for my temporal implant I wouldn't exist. Now didn't you think for a split second, how this would affect me?" Morgan said angrily.



"But you can't just think about yourself Morgan," Kathryn said.

"Well I know that already! I was talking about you! Ever since you found out, you've only cared about Kiara's feelings! If you cared, even a little bit, about me you wouldn't just be thinking about your precious granddaughter. If you love her so much, you can keep her!" Morgan screeched and she stormed out of the room.


"God, she doesn't care about me at all," Kiara muttered.

ouch, must remember she's only 5, only 5. It's J/C who are utter c$$$s

"Do you still want to change what happened?" Q2 asked.

"No, not really. It's bad enough having Duncan around, plus I've never imagined myself married before," Jessie replied.

We didn't see anything but from the context the alternate present she's seen Robbie and we're to assume a second kid, plus a wedding. So yeah for some reason Jessie isn't bothered about the dead kid, but more about her failed first relationship with James. Yikes

God damn it and you were doing so well

Jessie's Sin Points: +5

"That's good, because I couldn't change it anyway," Q2 said.

"What!" Jessie snapped.

"If you had decided to change your past, I wouldn't of been able to do it," Q2 said.

"Why not?" Jessie asked.

"I thought you knew, the Continuum took away most of my powers," Q2 said.

so Jessie earned sin points for nothing, great thanks

"So what was the point of that then?" Jessie asked.

"Well it stopped you from wanting to change something that's happened, didn't it?" Q2 said questioningly.

Er, okay?

"Yes, unfortunately I am half mortal. I can get hurt, but I can't die," Q2 said.

"So if I punch you all day, it wouldn't give you brain damage," Jessie said.

Jessie's Sin Points: -1

"Yes basically," Q2 muttered. He quickly transported away before he got another punch in the face.


The Doctor was in his office, working on his computer. He didn't notice that somebody had sneaked into Sickbay. He or she was at the medical tray, they picked up a few things.

Well that's ominous

Kathryn and Chakotay rushed through the main door. They saw the Doctor treating Morgan, who was on the main biobed. They both rushed over to the biobed.

"What happened, Doctor?" Chakotay asked.

The Doctor sighed, he gently turned Morgan's wrist slightly. Kathryn and Chakotay gasped. Across her wrist was a very deep cut, it was barely seen due to the fact that blood was covering most of her arm.

WELL S$$$$

"That's not all," the Doctor said. He walked over to the medical tray, and he brought it closer to the biobed. "Most of these hypospray's are empty, they were full when I left them earlier," the Doctor said, as he showed the pair a hypospray. He put it back on the tray. "I came into the main room, and I found her unconscious on the ground. One of the hypospray's was just lying next to her body," the Doctor said.

Well, what was in the hyposprays? That's important.

"This was most definitely an attempted suicide," the Doctor said.

"But why would she do this?" Kathryn asked.



"She must of been upset about what Q told her," Chakotay replied.

Well she was fine until everyone started gossiping and laughing at her, then her parents turned on her for daring to be upset instead of mothering her new daughter. YEH SURE, IT WAS BECAUSE OF Q, FU

"That's not going to stop her from trying something like this again," the Doctor replied.

"Chakotay, I didn't think she would take what we said so personally. What should we do?" Kathryn asked.


"There's only one cure, she needs therapy," the Doctor said.

"Do I sense a but coming?" Chakotay asked.

"Yes, she won't be willing to listen to me. Maybe if somebody close to her tried, maybe she'll listen," the Doctor replied.


"Why us?" Jessie asked.

"You three are her friends, aren't you?" the Doctor asked.


"But how can we convince her not to do this again?" Craig asked.

"Well a love confession won't work, so you're out," James said.


I don't care if this is a bad time for a quip, that was good s$$$

"Confession, she already knows," Jessie said.


"I hate to say this, but you lot are our only hope. She probably won't listen to us, but maybe she'll listen to you, Kathryn said.

"How did she try it?" James asked.

"And why?" Jessie asked.

"Erm, I can't think of a question," Craig said.

Um James WTF, and Jessie why is this so hard for people to figure out, and Craig ugh

"We think she tried suicide because she was upset about us caring more about Kiara's feelings, than hers," Kathryn said.




"And she probably was depressed about, well you know that her memories for the first fifteen years of her life were changed. So in her opinion she's only known nearly two years of her life," Chakotay said.


"So how did she try it?" James repeated.

Are you sure this isn't Harry in disguise, hoping for gorry bodies

Or Tom, trying to get an answer for his bookie club. "WHO BET SLIT WRISTS" "ME! HURRAY I WON 100 RATIONS!" I wouldn't put it past him

"As far as I can tell, she slit one of her wrists so she would lose a lot of blood. Then she must of came to Sickbay to inject herself with whatever drugs were available," the Doctor replied.

Jessie glanced at James briefly. "Getting deja vu yet?" she asked him.

"Yeah," James replied.

Yeah okay, this is why the NARRATIVE wants James to know; he either knows someone who did the same exact thing or has other experience. I'm still not sure why James himself needs to know to help her. It doesn't matter.

"Did somebody you know try suicide in the same way?" the Doctor asked.

"Bingo," Jessie replied.

"Anyone we know?" Chakotay said questioningly.

"Does it matter?" Kathryn asked.

Yep, Janeway is a horrible human being and mother. It never occured to her that James could've meant himself? "does it matter?" no not to an inhuman piece of s*** like you

"Yeah, as a matter of a fact he's in the room with you right now," James replied.

Nearly everyone looked Craig's way. He looked confused.

Oh god I'm going to hell for laughing at this so called gag

Everyone stared at her and James in shock. "Him?" they all said in disbelief.

"Maybe this won't be as hard as we think," Kathryn said finally.

You're really pushing all my buttons Janeway

"Usually it does help to talk to somebody who's tried suicide and lived to tell about it," Kathryn replied.

"What if he just survived because the doctors in the area kept reviving him, and he just gave up," Chakotay said.

"No, I talked him out of it," Jessie said.

Yeah it doesn't work like that Chakotay, but since this is James I wouldn't be surprised. After a 100 suicide attempts and revivals, anyone would get a little sick and/or run out of ideas.

"Fine, I know I'm going to regret this but, I want you two to talk to Morgan about this. Try and convince her that suicide isn't the option," Kathryn said.


"Well you can please the Morgan/Craig shippers by just being there," the Doctor replied. Kathryn and Chakotay eyed him suspiciously.


Morgan was now awake, but she wasn't allowed to get off the biobed. The medical tray had been moved to the other side of the room. James, Jessie and Craig were standing around the biobed.

Yeah "for some reason" I don't think Morgan would lie there willingly with just a "not allowed to leave". I know James might be able to stop her but sheesh, I doubt she'd not try.

"Maybe you should start by telling her about that incident ten years ago," Jessie replied.

"Erm, ok then," James muttered.

I'd say this is probably the worst intervention ever, but this is Fifth Voyager, I bet this isn't even close.

"Well do you remember me telling you that my dad beat me, and that he hated me," James said.

"Well yeah," Morgan replied.

"My mum decided to tell me when I was seventeen that if they had both found out that she was pregnant with me a week earlier, they would of been able to abort," James said.



Ok fine, Janeway/Chakotay are tying with Peter and now Susy for WORST PARENTS EVER

"Oh, charming," Craig muttered.


And while we're here, this is exactly why James reacted badly in Interactions. Imagine your mother so callously saying "oh btw I wanted to abort you" at 17. No wonder he's not a fan of the subject.

"Interesting, what's that got to do with me?" Morgan asked, with no sound of interest in her voice.

"I did overhear when I was three that my dad wanted me dead because he thought I was responsible for killing my sister," James said.

I can never say this too many times; FU PETER TAYLOR

Though I am wondering why James kicked the story off with "my dad hated me and liked to use me as a punch bag", when the first bomb was "I wish you never existed" from his mum.

I'd normally say it's a bit off he's okay with airing this dirty laundry with Craig around, but it's to save Morgan so... that's believable.

"My mum told me after the abortion bit that she was pregnant with another child when I was about three. The reason why I didn't know about it was because they didn't want another screw up," James said.


I'm shocked that this reveal is here. I always thought it was Man Out Of You. wow

And yeah Interactions, this too. James has unfortunately an understable bunch of reasons for being against abortion. I mean he never directly said his second reason, but the implication is clear.

So Janeway/Chakotay you gotta beat Susy saying to her abused son; "If I knew I was pregnant with you sooner by a week, I'd have aborted you. Oh that reminds me, I almost had another kid when you were three but I didn't want another you, so... he/she's gone. What do you want for tea?"

"I remember overhearing something about dad wanting the next kid. He said that maybe he or she would run away just like I did, and get me killed like what happened with Debbie," James said.

Wait, how does he remember his dad talking about this aborted kid (when he was about 3) when he didn't know about it until he was 17? I assume it's one of those memories that sprung up after he was told. "Oh, is that what dad was talking about....ohs$$$"

That's not the part I should take from this quote though. Lets have a look again

"I remember overhearing something about dad wanting the next kid. He said that maybe he or she would run away just like I did, and get me killed like what happened with Debbie," James said.


I thought/hoped I misread. Nope. Yes I know Peter's scum, this was still shocking for him though. He apparently only wanted another kid so James would lose him/her, go look for them and end up being raped then murdered, like what happened with his big sister. Though to be fair *gag*, he's the sexist type that would say men can't be raped, so just the murdered part.

good lord

"Is this story going anywhere," Morgan said.

Normally Morgan would get a rant for this. Considering the circumstances I'll allow it.

"Shut up and listen," Jessie said. Morgan just rolled her eyes.

"Make it quick, I'm thinking," Morgan said.

Ouch, Jessie's not as understanding. How did she talk James out of suicide like this??

"I think it was the next night when I did what you did," James said.

"You? Get real," Morgan muttered.

I dunno why that's so unbelievable. You heard what his own mother told him, right? I thought it was hard to beat J/C's guilt trip s$$$ earlier.

"I think my mum was a drug addict, there was over a hundred tablets in the house," James said.

"Tablets? What country and time are you from?" Morgan asked.

"All right, maybe it was my step dad that was the addict. He was the one who liked the old fashioned life," James said.

I dunno why we had to have James mistake who had the tablets. It's just a waste of time and makes little sense.

"So if you committed suicide, why are you still here?" Morgan asked.

"Jessie convinced me that suicide isn't the best way out," James replied.

Oh, all better now, thanks

"Is that it? I'm sure you can do better than that," Morgan muttered.


"Jessie, according to that Q, the Continuum knew that I wasn't meant to be. The only thing keeping me here is that damn temporal implant inside of me. If I'm not suppose to exist, why am I here?" Morgan replied.

While James' story is pretty painful, not in a badly written way for once, he can't compare to this. It would've helped if he or Jessie explained how she talked him out of it.

"Right. You're saying you shouldn't exist because the Continuum thinks that you shouldn't, right?" Craig asked.

"If you say so," Morgan replied.

"Well the Morgan I know wouldn't give a toss about what the Continuum thought. What's the real reason?" Craig asked.

Oh Craig, I was with you until that last bit.

"All right, but you asked for it. Number one, fifteen years of my life didn't happen, the only thing that's been real has been the last two years or so. Number two, everyone only cares about Kiara. No one cares about me, if they did they'd leave that brat to deal with her small problem, and at least try to understand my problems. Number three, the temporal implant thing again. Number four, the Continuum went to great lengths to try and get rid of me. No I don't give a toss about what they think, but maybe in this case they're right. Now do you still think that you can stop me?" Morgan said.


"Hang on a sec, a lot of people do care about you. If nobody cared about you, they would of just left you to die," Jessie said.

And wouldn't be trying to talk you out of it, right?

"If you say so. Let me ask you this, what would you do in my position?" Morgan muttered.

"Definitely not what you want to do," Jessie replied. She looked at the guys. They nodded their heads in agreement.

Even James nods, yeah right you liar

I suppose it wouldn't help if he was like "I totally would sheesh"

"What I'd like to know is why do you think everything's a mess?" James asked.

Morgan laughed slightly. "Weren't you listening?" she asked.


"Yeah I was, and I just don't think you were listening to what I said," James replied.

"I didn't see the point since I know what you're doing is a waste of time," Morgan said.

Oh, I think I know what James is getting at. I could be reaching though. He may not be able to compare to her story, not literally anyway, but he knows what it's like to be told that he shouldn't exist. That was the point of the abortion part of his story.

"Well, that original attempt at suicide wasn't suppose to work in the first place," Morgan replied.

That doesn't sound good

"Well I can tell you since there's nothing you can do. Before I slit my wrist, I lured the temporal implant in my blood to where I was going to use the knife on. I did just that, then I injected something into the implant. I knew that the Doc wouldn't be able to detect it," Morgan replied.

"Well, if you must know. The virus I injected into it will disable the implant. I don't know how long it will take, but I'm sure it will go off soon," Morgan replied.

Wow, there's killing yourself and then there's erasing yourself from history all together. That's... that's dark

"And why not. You won't even realise I'm gone this way," Morgan said.

"I know this sounds impersonal but, you can't just go and delete yourself from the timeline," Jessie said.

"It's better than my original idea," Morgan said.

Oh wow Morgan. She thinks no one cares about her but she cares about hurting people with her suicide (I assume her parents, but F$$$ THEM), bless her

"If you do this, god knows what will happen to everyone. Don't you know that the smallest change can affect things in a big way. Imagine how this will affect everyone," James said.

Well yeah, there's that too.

"I have thought about that. I came to the conclusion that if nobody cared about me, why should I care about what happens to them," Morgan said.

Oh, so much for that earlier comment.

"Well think about it, if you don't exist then neither will Kiara. Then you will be born in 2375 just like you were originally. Time will not know what to do with itself," Jessie said.

"Come to think of it, she's right," James said.

Well she didn't finish with that train of thought before the "time will not know" comment, she was still on the right track though. In theory she'd only end up in the same prediciment.

"Nope, everything will be the same in my opinion. I don't care," Morgan replied.

"All right, maybe this'll get you thinking," James said.

Though I dunno what Morgan's implying with this, if she meant what I meant then she wouldn't have done it.

"What I tried to do ten years only showed that I was a quitter. Jessie convinced me that there is a way out of every problem. People only commit suicide if they're quitting. The Morgan I know isn't a quitter. I never thought you would be the kind of person who would quit just because life has just gotten a little bit harder," James said.

Well that's er... well... that's a... quote

Pretty harsh imo, still in a way he's not wrong. Dunno.

"Do you think that you're stronger than I am?" James asked.

"Yes, of course I am," Morgan muttered in response.

Must resist giving her a sue point, this is a bad time

"You're wrong," Jessie said.

"And why's that?" Morgan asked.

Well I haven't been keeping track of the score, you two have been all over the place. You've been wonder woman while he was struggling to open a door. Then in another one he was beating Seven to pulp when you twice lost like a chump. Don't get me started again on the crap in The Slayers. I'm gonna go with yes he is anyway.

They of course mean mentally but I couldn't help myself, Morgan apparently thought literally with her comment.

James continues the on screen ass whooping and it's not pretty

"I had it a lot tougher than you have it now, and I decided to live on. If you want to kill yourself over something as small as this, you're just proving that you're a lot weaker than I am," James replied.

I beg your pardon?

No one should ever, ever say this, right or wrong. It's like when people say "there's always someone going through worse things than you who'd take your place if they could." In my mind that means only one person in the world is allowed to be sad, and even then they wouldn't know they're the only one allowed because some jerkface will be telling him/her "you know somebody has it worse than you," as they don't know either that it's not true.

It's also far too hand wavey. Depression's a real illness, it isn't something somebody chooses to be. Telling Morgan that her fake life and daughter reveal isn't as bad as his abuse from his parents and sister's death, isn't going to make her go "oh you're so right, I'm all better." Her pain will either make her double down and retreat, or she'll feel guilty for feeling bad. Nope.

This is past me not knowing what I'm talking about, unaware that I'm going to find out I'm wrong the hard way.

"I'm not weak, and I'm not a quitter, leave me alone," Morgan said angrily.

"Then prove it, tell the Doctor how to fix the implant," Jessie said.

Morgan sighed and she looked at the wrist that she slit. Then she looked back at the others. "All right, you win," she said finally. Everyone but the Doctor sighed in relief.

And there's your proof. James' really really bad "pep talk" works when it would never ever work in real life. Morgan can't stand the thought of James being better than her and so poof, she's fixed. Eyeroll.

Thankfully I know better, Morgan hasn't got an easy ride ahead of her. I'm just a bit put off that she was talked out of suicide so easily. And so out of charactery, James' comments were not only extremely rude and harsh to someone he clearly identifies with (hence his abortion story) but he's usually self critical, and his speech revolved around making him better than her. One of James' put downs in later episodes or reboots is him usually saying "no I don't think I'm better than anyone, only you," because he has a lot of self hatred, it works as quite a burn and they know it. Him taunting her about being better than her because Jessie talked him out of suicide is so OOC it burns.

"It's easy once you know how. Next time, you won't be able to pull this off," the Doctor said.

"Hopefully there won't be a next time," Craig said.

Morgan sat up, and she immediately got onto her feet. "There won't be," she said. Everyone sighed in relief again.

Yeah she wasn't even pretending to be talked out of to get them off her back, she means it. sigh

True Q does a good job with showing how backwards people's attitudes are to sexual assault and consent with minors, as well as Morgan's fall into depression and suicide. Clearly I had more sorta experience in the former than the latter, I say knowing that the latter was a few months away at the time, and it shows. It's a shame when the episode gets quite a bit right.

"Just promise you won't ever do that again," James said.

"That's what I said after I convinced you the last time," Jessie said.

"I kept my promise, didn't I," James said.

*remembers Disconnected, lols*

"You said there was a way out of every situation. So how am I suppose to get over this," Morgan said.

"You'll find a way, there's hardly ever a quick fix," Jessie replied.

And apparently this is where True Q originally ended for a few months. Whether or not it was online like this is probably something I'll never find out.

So lets see what this three months later scene is like. It was written before The Slayers Part 2, well some of it, so I don't have much hope.

Morgan was sitting opposite Kathryn. Chakotay was standing next to Kathryn. As usual Kathryn had her usual coffee.

Was it usual, it's hard to tell

"I hate to speak of Kiara after what happened the last time we talked but I feel that I have to mention it eventually. 

Then don't, sheesh, save it for later

Since Kiara's half Q, the original Q told me that she'll probably start developing powers soon. She's obviously mortal, and there's going to be a limit on her powers. Normal Q's are 100 times as powerful as she will become," Chakotay said.

I'd call bull on this, but I remember TNG's True Q did something similar with Amanda. She didn't start using powers till her teen years I think. Or is this just because the news she's a Q is out in the open so they don't care if she uses any powers... I doubt it.

Also 100 times as powerful?? whut. Why so specific? And if she's half Q wouldn't that mean she's half as powerful... I'm confusing myself

"For the record, we're not just going to hand all responsibilities over to you just because of this. We'll still take care of her, unless you want to do it," Kathryn said.

That's the only right thing you've done all episode.

"No, I hate to say this but I hate her for what's happened," Morgan said.


"Why, it's not her fault this happened," Chakotay asked.

"She only cared about herself. Plus she tried to snare all of the attention and sympathy away from me, when I should have at least had a fair share of it," Morgan replied.

Okay I get it, I get it, but oh my, remember she's not a teen like you are. She's five.

I know, I've mentioned a lot that I like this storyline quite a bit. HOWEVER there are early parts of it that are pretty rough edged, I know Bittersweet has its moments for example that go too far. I won't change the intent of this story in the reboot, but I sure as hell will be smoothing out some of it.

"I've got a suggestion. A lot of people who attempted suicide and lived, usually end up making fresh starts with their lives. They try to change what's bad about them, and they try to improve their old lifestyles," Kathryn replied.

Maybe she'd be better off getting advice from James, when he's in character anyway. He's done it before.

"Hey, I know, can I change my name?" Morgan asked.

"What for?" Chakotay asked.

"You said make a fresh start. If I have the same name, it may remind me of my old lifestyle," Morgan replied.

And/or, you want to change your name because you were called Morgan after Kiara's middle name. And since you're not actually her, it doesn't make sense to keep using it. Or Marill's just not that keen on it and like James' surname, wants to use something else.

"So what do you want to change your name too?" Kathryn asked.

"What about Taiya, it's the feminine form of Chakotay," Chakotay said.

Haha, I'll have to check this one out. I was so sure I had him suggest it because it was his sister's name. Now that I've seen this I remember him suggesting a feminine form of Chakotay in the seventh season when B'Elanna's pregnant. Dunno if it was Taiya though.

"Maybe that's a good middle name, because I was thinking of Lena," Morgan said.

"Lena?" Kathryn said questioningly.

Ah, your original name. Good idea.

"Well Craig told me that Lena is his mother's name, and I've liked it since then," Morgan said.


Someone show them Hunters, lol. It's not her original name.

"Well it is nice, and it was your other self's name," Kathryn said.

"So can I?" Morgan asked.

You know it'd be less creepy if you just went with the "it was your original name" reason, not the name of your shipping partner's mother. Yes I know, Five, but that was intentionally done as a reference to this scene unfortunately.

"She is sixteen, maybe we should just let her choose what she wants to do," Chakotay said.

"And we'll just worry," Kathryn said.

"Yeah, basically," Chakotay said.

"Sounds ok to me," Kathryn said.

still terrible parents, it'll take a lot to convince me otherwise now.

And that's it the end...



Oh yeah, I forgot about the ramble I was going to do regarding the James/Jessie and Robbie twist. Now while there's a few slight changes I'll make to this reveal, basically not having Q intentionally reveal it, but the characters keep commenting on things and putting him off from telling the actual Kiara story as he should. The problem in this is really the Jessie scene later.

First, the explanation Jessie gave for her break up with James meant that I had to write it in the prequels more or less exactly as she described. It was meant to be the truth blurted out. The truth has James blame her for the death of the baby, which is pretty damn messed up. I didn't like it but back then everything in FV was written in stone and so I felt I had to keep it. I figured the best thing to do was obviously make the death of the baby so traumatising for him, and "fortunately" B4FV Season Three's pretty traumatic for him on top of that, and so he'd react badly and ooc out of grief. Just so people wouldn't think he was a right dickhead for shouting at a woman who had a stillbirth/miscarriage.

It doesn't work IMO, cos he still has to. Jessie not visibly grieving and her feeling that the baby was doomed before this, doesn't help make this any better. Don't get me wrong, you hear about couples breaking up after a miscarriage causes a rift, so it's not unheard of. Doesn't make it better and I fear it stains a good character, just because 16 year old me wanted the Jessie Versus Q2 scene to be as edgy and dramatic as possible.

And it's not the first time I do this at James' expense either. Very late Season Three has another blurt out something he's done which I had to write into the prequels against my own will. If B4FV3 was written in the reboot era, both of these events would've been changed. Now I'm stuck with them and I hope everything I do with the character salvages him.

Moving on from James, is Jessie's weird choice to undo the ritual and not the baby murder, which I tried to explain away. But in the next scene she wasn't happy with this alternate present where she has at least 2 kids and is married, claiming Duncan's bad enough o_0 I'm not happy that she's seemingly trying to undo her first pregnancy to avoid her breakup with James (of course this is assuming that the ceremony is why she was pregnant) and not because losing a baby was traumatising.

Fine, have her do this denial routine elsewhere with other characters, but her showdown with Q2 should be all truth. He murdered her baby out of jealousy, she should be too angry and upset to care about keeping secrets. Like the James blaming her part, this doesn't make Jessie look good either.

Anyway that's all I got, lets rate this.


Counter Results:

Muttered Count: 50 (913) Wait, how is this beating Season One's total?????? How come I've only just noticed? We're not even halfway through Season Two folks

Sexist Crap Count: 4 (37)

Jessie's Sin Points: earned 5, lost 18 (16)

Morgan the Sue Count: 1 (30)

Annika Dies Count: 0 (8)

James Dies Count: 0 (3)

James Kill Count: 0 (2)

James Badasses Off Screen For Our Sins: 0 (15)

Marill's Playing With Her Dolls Again: 1 (39)

Just A Little Bit More: 1 (24)




1) While I know the opening scene had an intention; have Danny and Ian tease Jessie over her "only sleeps with James under some kind of influence" without knowing the truth that's going to revealed later. At first it seems like the episode's going to do that. The dead baby is revealed, Jessie confronts Q and he confesses murdering him. Readers are left to rethink what Jessie's said and denied over the season; oh I'm a virgin, oh there was a ritual with sex at the end but I turned it down and upset James, and that's why I don't want a baby, her I WAS UNDER A LOVE SPELL screams despite being in a new relationship with him, then finally the opening scene which on its own casts some doubt in the earlier tales when Danny says she did sleep with him for the ritual after all. That's all good, but ultimately all ruined for the cop out with Jessie whining that the baby's death merely ruined her relationship with James and tries to undo the ritual, only to find out that it could be worse, she could *gasp* be happily married with more kids. The horror. Yeah I'd not want that future myself, but this is Jessie not me.

Plus, James' part in this subplot is pretty much non existant. He shows no emotion explaining this, and then doesn't get a scene where Jessie tells him why the baby died. Nothing. It's weird and wasted.

2) The way Q tries to reveal the big Morgan and Kiara secret is really, really messy. It's like I was more concerned with revealing Robbie. The flashbacks that are meant to explain do nothing of the sort, and he has to explain anyway as well as other things. Huge shame considering what twist this is. It doesn't help that he gives away that it's an AU immediately with the header for the flashback. Since this is thee twist of the series, I can't go easy on it. (2)

3) The ending being missing for months, causing the mystery around the release date. I'd like to hope all but the final scene was online in 2001 before any following episodes, and so those only spoiled Morgan/Lena's name change and nothing else, but the evidence is on the side of the episode being skipped. Not good whatsoever.

4) James brings up his dad's hatred of him very randomly, or it looks random anyway since it is used during the intervention. There was no need for it, if Morgan didn't know about his dad (and bulls$$$ to that, Test of Time exists), then tell her during said intervention.

Similarly Tom mentions suicide, he and Harry have a talk about it. It's written to foreshadow what Morgan does, but frames it as something the child would do, ie Kiara. Problem with parents, ohnoes James being the dad is suicide worthy etc... I have proved I can do foreshadowing, but I've proved that I can't more often and here's another example.

5) Janeway and Chakotay tell Kiara the basic truth; Morgan's your mum and something about AU's. That's it. She doesn't know any of the story, doesn't know who or what her dad is, and then expects Morgan to take care of it. The Ready Room scene is so damn painful. They think because she's 16 and a Slayer that she can handle this huge revelation like its nothing and comfort her new daughter like the mummy she is. This feeds into her anti-Kiara complex and so I'm more inclined to blame them over either of these two. Then in Sickbay Janeway admits she cares more about Kiara than Morgan as if it's normal, nobody calls her out on it. F$$$ them

6) Lol James is a pedo who impregnated a 13 year old girl. Lets make bets on it, lets never clear his name, lets act as if it's a silly shippy hint comparable to him and Jessie, lol this is totally the same as the Duncan incident.

7) Tom makes bets on Morgan and Kiara's misery (and James' too in a way), then says if he found out James was his dad he'd kill himself? What the ever loving f$$$$

8) Craig's attitude towards Morgan really stinks. I know that it's usually the victim that gets all the grief and I was ok with that part of the plot, but he's supposed to love her and he acts as if he believes the rumours, and that Morgan is the bad guy in those rumours, like she cheated on him. The rumours should make him mad at James, except that it's an AU so he shouldn't be mad at anyone. He and Morgan are also not dating, he doesn't own her and she doesn't have to explain anything like that to him to satisfy his jealousy. He dismisses her a lot, and she has to apologise to him. Then you have the making it about himself with the virgin talk, so during her darkest hour she has to make him feel better. Creepy and annoying.

9) James was the perfect one to talk Morgan out of the suicide, and it looked to be going that way. He understood the feeling of not being wanted, someone wanting to erase him, he's tried to kill himself over it before. It seems though I had no idea how to get from his story to convincing her, it's done poorly with no understanding of depression. At 16 I suppose I wouldn't, I didn't start suffering from it until the next year, so I can give myself a break there. The problem is James convinces her she's weaker than him if she doesn't try, it's harsh for him, well harsh for him to say to Morgan, and pretty hypocritical since Jessie admits she talked him out of it.

10) Morgan changes her to name to Lena because it was her name, not because Craig's mum had the same name. Sheesh!

Sub-total: 11


1) If the flashbacks were to reveal Robbie then they did a good enough job. I like the scenes involving him and the flashback to Q and the Grey. Infact until Jessie starts being all "ohnoes my relationship with James was ruined", the entire subplot is pretty good. It's a natural progression of what we've seen, starting with Interactions. That now makes sense, readers know why she wasn't keen on having the baby and one of the reasons why James wasn't happy about her decision to abort. She's lost a baby before and doesn't want to go through with it again, while James can't understand why she'd "kill" their baby after suffering such a loss.

2) I complained at length and yet here it is, in the positives. Morgan was assaulted, then violated with a forced baby at 13 years old by a MUCH older man with a lot of power over her. People assume it's a different man, who also has some power of her (age wise, physically they're about even), and they react to it by laughing and staring at her, all while thinking she's a whore. Nobody bothers James about it. This kinda crap happens a lot in real life. Victims are either not believed or are assumed to have been asking for it, no matter how old they were. "Oh she's 13 but she must've come onto him." Even Craig because of his jealousy of James treats her differently (this isn't completely positive as you've seen above). Even worse is that she's a Slayer, very strong and so should've been able to stop something she didn't want according to everyone. Which she did but it was a Q, but again they think it was James, who she could still struggle fighting with, it'd be an even matchup, but everyone thinks he's a pushover so.

It's unfortunately true to life, and I gotta give True Q the credit it deseves. I know it wasn't done naively, even I have some MeToo stories to (probably never) tell. Come on, Resistance earlier in the season proves this wasn't a one off mistake. I knew even back then, this is the world we live in.

3) It deserves a separate point, but Jessie's smackdown of the Q who murdered her baby was the best part of the episode, hands down. Loved it.

4) True Q goes all in on James' backstory revolving around his mother wanting to abort him, the abortion of his sibling, the father wanting so badly for him to die... I'm surprised it went that far. Pleasantly. While the end of the story fizzled out with no obvious point, then the intervention going into quitter and I'm better than you territory, the story is pretty appropriate for what Morgan's going through. No one will have the same story as her, but this is as close as we're going to get. If anyone knows what it's like to be not wanted, it's James.

5) Morgan's downward spiral hits hard, she starts off disbelieving until the reality starts to hit her; Kiara confronting her, the crew treating her differently. She lashes out, calms down, apologises for it, lashes out again etc, even tries to comfort Craig when he's wrongly feeling sorry for himself. Then the J/C scene breaks her down completely. Nobody seems to understand why and how she could kill herself, which seems obvious to us and her, but when it comes to explaining it she clearly struggles. The characters act like they still don't get it even when she lays it all out to them. Only James does but the later half of the scene ruins what felt to me just right. I know this, I've lived it.

6) The scene, along with the Jessie baby reveal, explains the drama in Interactions without being in your face direct about it. James tells us a story that lead him to suicide to show Morgan he understands before attempting to talk her out of it, but isn't all "this is why I did this", no mention of the episode or incident itself. If you remember his overreaction in Interactions to the abortion, you pretty much should get why he did. If you don't, it doesn't matter as it's not the main point of him talking about it.

Sub-total: 6

Marill's Rating: 35%

Rankings So Far:

#01 Resistance: 53%
#02 Disconnected: 40%
#03 Kiss of Death: 38%
#04 Interactions: 37%
#05 The Resurrection: 36%
#06 True Q: 35%
#07 Saturday Night & Precise Timings: 31%
#08 Games Resistance: 29%
#09 Thrown Key Part 2: 23%
#10 F9: Control Failure: 21%
#11 Dimension Jump: 14%
#12 The Slayers: 12%
#13 The Love Spell: 10%

I'll be honest, I expected this to be higher. A little disappointed. Though rank 3-5 only have a percent between them, so it's close.

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