Marill Re-Reads The Return of Third Voyager
I must admit. I was bored one day and decided to skim through this one even though this file was ready and Lea Halalela's Re-Read was done. I've said it a few times and been proven wrong, this time I'm absolutely sure The Love Spell will be defeated in the Worst Season Two episode battle. It truly is that bad. I think I only saw one redeeming feature of it.
The rest is Season One at its worst, Team Rocket mottos etc style trash. So, I'm not going to give it the honour of quoting it to death and reacting, I'm just gonna mark it with an occasional quote if necessary. I'm still gonna have to go through it again, so all I'm doing is saving you from this turd.
But first, what I wrote about the title and I suppose the episode's premise before I read it;
What is "Third Voyager"? If you cast your mind back to Mirror Universes, I'm sorry, Fifth Voyager was one of many fictional Voyagers travelling around in seperate universes, helmed by whatever writer wanted to embarrass them. World Domination came along to muck that up further, but who cares about that. The idea was every bit of fiction was real in some dimension.
So doesn't that mean the original Voyager is a Fifth as well? Yes, yes it does. But no.
No? No, this episode and many others refer to the original as Third Voyager, aka the third dimension Voyager.
But what would mean Voyager was real, and... Yes, yes it does. But no.
Fifth Voyager originally was meant to be about another version of Voyager, split from the original because Kiara was born. There was no FANFIC DIMENSIONS until I started writing it. That said, once the true meaning of the title had all of its kinks figured it out, the original Voyager should be called First Voyager. Third Voyager is something else entirely.
So either way Third Voyager was always wrong? Yes, yes it was.
1) James and Jessie regress again to comic relief, reprogramming the doc into a clown.
2) Emma steals Jessie's nanoprobes because Territory is next. No context? You betcha. It's bad, you can trust me. Remember Aggressions Part 2 and the hypospray bit? It's like that.
3) Even the characters question the Third Voyager origins, poor Tuvok is chosen to say the bulls£££ excuse. it's shrugged off.
4) "We're just making it up as we go alone," Marill said. NO S$$$ SHERLOCK
5) Writer scenes in abundance (2)
6) The return of Brannon Braga and Rick Berman
7) MOTTOS, so many mottos
8) FANFIC DIMENSIONS strike twice with Pokemon Voyager, bringing Wobbuffet into the series for a few episodes.
9) The writers storyline is only there to steal a Pokemon episode plot. JUST LIKE OLD (AND FAIRLY RECENT AHEM) TIMES
10) "It makes sense. We were only able to destroy Seventh Voyager when Damien was infected with something that Emma injected into him. He wouldn't of had the ability to do anything," Chakotay said. Emma grinned innocently at him.
I beg your f$$$$$ pardon
11) C/7 is always a negative even when it's just a joke.
12) Return tries to remain undeleted by foreshadowing Fair Chance. I'm hoping its efforts are in vain.
1) I like the gag on the Third/First/Original Voyager with the unknown crewmembers dying, GORRY bodies piling up so much they get in the way, and beaming them over to Fifth. It kept me going through the two skim throughs.
Stay tuned for the score *drumroll*
Muttered Count: 24 (1598)
Lena the Sue Count: 0 (39)
Lena (Child)Abuses Her Power: 0 (36)
Annika Dies Count: 1 (11)
James Dies Count: 0 (5)
James Kill Count: 0 (4)
James Badasses Off Screen For Our Sins: 0 (17)
Just A Little Bit More: 6 (48)
J/C are the worst (grand)parents ever: 0 (39)
Sexist Crap Count: 0 (87)
Jessie's Sin Points: Earned 1, Lost 0 (3) Remember, she has 36 from Season One to still erase.
Marill's Playing With Her Dolls Again: 0 (65)
Marill's Rating: 7%
Rankings So Far:
#02 YWF: 45%
#03 Disconnected: 40%
#04 Kiss of Death, Bittersweet, Suicidal: 38%
#05 Interactions: 37%
#06 The Resurrection: 36%
#07 True Q: 35%
#08 Cause & Effect, Lea Halalela: 33%
#09 Saturday Night, Precise Timings, The Curse of Voyager: 31%
#10 Games Resistance: 29%
#11 Thrown Key Part 2: 23%
#12 F9: Control Failure: 21%
#13 Why oh Why: 20%
#14 The Atamit: 19%
#15 An Apple A Day, Heiress: 17%
#16 I Know What You've Done This Season: 16%
#17 Halloween: 15%
#18 Dimension Jump: 14%
#19 The Slayers: 12%
#20 The Love Spell: 10%
#21 Return of Third Voyager: 7%
THE EVIL HAS BEEN DEFEATED
this is NOT a good thing.
Next Time: From one piece of s*** to another. Don't worry, this should be the last one for at least two episodes.