Marill Re-Reads Aggressions Part 2
Sometime between the 4th and the 17th December, I seemingly tossed all of my ideas, hopes and seemingly my sanity into a bin, sat down at my computer and started to write whatever drivel came to my warped mind. The fourth wall scenes inspired me to keep doing them and so it became a Season One gag. Not only that, the tone of Part 2 overall leaked into the later episodes no matter how hard those plans and hopes I mentioned above tried to revive themselves.
So yeah, I justifiably hate Aggressions Part 2 and its effect it had on Season One, and bits of both 2 and 3.
BUT today I'm going in with a slightly open mind to review it the same way I did Part 1. Hopefully we can all have a good laugh at my expense. Yay.
Here goes. Oh the Humanity.
Before I start I'm gonna mention that I MAY keep the quotes in their original font. Having it yellow and with an indent didn't stand out enough. Comic Sans suits this rubbish anyway. Onwards...
"But...how?" Kathryn stuttered. The Doctor gave her a puzzled look.
"Well, it all starts when..." the Doctor started blabbering.
"Doctor!" Chakotay exclaimed.
"Oh of course, you know all that already," the Doctor said. Kes tried not to laugh. Kathryn gave the Doctor the 'deathglare.' The Doctor looked scared.
Starting on what this part calls a high. Genuine giggle, and I think it'd be something the Doctor would actually reply with. Don't get used to any praise. These moments are likely very rare.
Oh, speaking of no praise:
Exclaimed Count: 1 (4 Overall)
"I think she means how could it of happened when we haven't... er... you know," Chakotay said quietly.
Aaaw, how cute. Getting uncomfortable about the icky bicky subject. Can't say the word, or he'll be put in the naughty corner.
Sigh. Getting flashbacks to Tom's reaction in Dark Mirror here. Moving on... ish.
I could do a "Of Instead of Have" count but I won't. Apparently it's a common mistake so IMO it isn't as worthy of being mocked because of that. Now exclaimed abuse is unique to me, I'm sure. Muttered, not so much, but I always thought it was 2nd to my exclaimed usage and so far muttered's kicking exclaimed's butt so... Who am I to argue with maths?
I spoke too soon.
"A miracle!" Kathryn exclaimed.
Exclaimed Count: 2 (5 Overall)
"I'm sure you can live with decaffeinated," Chakotay said quietly. Suddenly the doors opened and this strange girl with brown hair walked in.
"Okay, I'm sure we can fast forward through this next bit," she said as she pulled out a note pad and pen. The doors opened again and a younger girl with dark red hair walked in.
"No! Don't do that!" she exclaimed.
"Hey, we agreed that I write this scene," the first girl said.
"But you're doing a crap job of it!" the second girl exclaimed.
"Because it's not my kind of scene," the first girl said angrily.
Jesus! What have I done?
Exclaimed Count: 4 (7 Overall)
Oh and it's not my kind of scene? GTFO imposter Marill. You can't get enough shippy crap.
"Well you can do the scenes that are based on the episode Scorpion, and remember don't kill anyone or have lots of blood all over the place!" the second girl said angrily.
"Since when do you decide everything?" the first girl asked.
"Shut up! Anyway I have a brilliant idea to finish this teaser that'll please you and me," the second girl said.
There's actually some Scorpion in this? Thanks for spoiling it Firera. In more ways than one.
Oh and classy me, blaming Firera for this "brilliant" idea. I didn't have to write it if it was her idea. I'm betting it wasn't.
Don't kill anyone or get blood all over the place? I suppose - spoiler alert - I was a little blood thirsty even this early on. Yikes.
"Do I have too?" the first girl moaned. The doors opened again and a strange old man walked in. The two girls looked frightened.
Oh yeah, this happened "to". What, I'm in the bad writing spirit.
"What the hell is going on?" Kathryn asked.
I DON'T KNOW!
"Hello everybody, I'm the Old Man, I remember when I first came into other peoples stories. I woke up in the morning and I made a piece of toast, which in those days..." the Old Man blabbered on.
KILL IT WITH FIRE
Seriously. I'm risking further wrath here but hey let's be honest here. The Old Man was never mine, but he didn't belong to where I got him from either. It was a Simpsons joke involving Grandpa Simpson. I remember the phrase "which was the style at the time" and "in those days". The toast bit was definitely from Futurama.
I'm struggling to get why Marill and Firera show up, let alone him. And yes, I'll refer to Marill in the third person as her persona has quite a few differences to even 15 year old me. All of the "writers" characters tend to be very one dimensional, like I picked one particular trait (or 2) and amplified it to 10. Firera's the *aaw how cute, squee* shipper, Vulpix is the dirty minded er... shipper (who inspired Danny), Raichu is the more level headed older girl (compared to the others anyway), Charizard's the "typical" teen boy obsessed with violence and sex, Togepi's quirky with a taste for gore. Then there's Marill who whines a lot and has bad luck all the time. Ah hem.
Oh wait, I know why. Writing serious scenes obviously made the newly crazy me uncomfortable, so the writers showed up to change the subject. How clever! *eyes roll out of sockets*
"Firera, did you write this?" the first girl asked with the Old Man blabbering on in the background.
"No, Marill, did you?" Firera replied as the Old Man finally got past the bit with the toast.
"No, so who did?" Marill asked.
"Who else," Firera moaned. Right on cue a strange looking guy walked into Sickbay, holding two toy rabbits.
"Hello everybody!" the guy yelled. Suddenly Marill & Firera collapsed in animé (Pokémon) style. The Old Man continued to blabber on. Firera & Marill got back up.
"Damien, what are you doing here!" Marill yelled.
I'm not sure who wrote this either, but yeah let's blame "Damien".
Hmm, and so the "collapsing in Pokémon style" and "Pokémon sweat drop" re-occurring descriptions begin. At least I referred to it as anime the first time. Labelling it as only Pokémon is pretty ignorant.
I'm still only on the first scene. If it were not for the exclaimed's and basically poor writing, anyone who reads may be convinced they were reading another story. The difference between Part 1 and 2 is staggering.
Oh and Damien. Sigh. I will not go there. He's not the Damien of later seasons.
Firera mimicked Brock from the song, "ohno not this again!" Pikachu's voice said, "Pika-chu," then the music went off.
SEND HELP! I'M DYING
WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?
I really should get back to Test of Time reboot. Even that Pokémon vs Digimon conversation is better than this.
"Right, we can get on with the teaser," Firera said.
"Lets get it over with...oh crap we've ran out of time. Oh well here's the credits animation," Marill moaned.
"There is no credits animation," Firera said.
"Shut up, this was not in the original episode!" Marill yelled.
There's a backspace button, or delete if you prefer. Either is good. Use it.
"Why bother," Marill muttered.
Yeah you're right of course, editing is for losers.
Muttered Count: 1 (6 Overall)
Sickbay (where we left off):
I think there was a credits animation but it was dele... oh who cares.
"Well this is interesting," Marill muttered.
NO IT'S NOT
Muttered Count: 2 (7 Overall)
"Shut up," Firera said quietly. The pair must of missed something because the other pair started to get closer. Firera looked at Marill who was pretending to be sick. Suddenly a mallet appeared out of no where so Firera whacked Marill on the head with it.
Some boring music came on but...Tuvok had walked in just before anything happened and the music cut off.
Okay. Points for keeping the interruption gag, but minus a million points for the writers being surprised at the scene as if they're not writing it. They probably weren't. Demons did.
Muttered Count: 3 (8 Overall)
"It's like SMTV Live, you know in Chums. Dec and Cat are always interrupted when they're about to kiss. I thought we can do something similar in nearly every episode," Firera replied.
Oh, it's stolen and let's tell everyone that. Some things never change.
Firera & Marill disappeared.
Oh wait, only for two lines. I hate myself.
Haha the Conference Room scene has double quotation marks before one line. How did this get passed a proofread I'll *giggle snort* don't be silly, this was uploaded as soon as The End was written.
Stupid mission. Wit at its finest. Marvel and weep at it.
"Commander, you and Ensign Kaplan take Shuttle Sacajawea so you can crash it and then we can get some more insurance so we can finally build the cool Delta Flyer," Kathryn said.
"Marill! What insurance!!" Firera's voice yelled.
"Oh chill Firera, it was only a joke. He, he, he, the Delta Flyer, it's so cool!" Marill's voice laughed.
"Just use the survey mission excuse and for crying out loud don't mention either the Delta Flyer or the Enterprise E!" Firera's voice yelled.
"He, he, he, he, the Enterprise E, it kicks butt and it looks so cool! Ooooh, if Riker blows that ship up too I'll kill him in the next episode," Marill's voice said.
Oh another trait amplified to 100. My Enterprise E obsession. Sigh.
That he, he, he hurts my eyes and brain. It's not the only thing though, to be fair.
The changing reason for the shuttle mission would be an ok fourth wall gag if it was done properly. Stupid mission ruined it before it began.
"Er Marill, problem. Number One: Craig shouldn't know that this is a program and not real life. Number Two: I'm sure Shuttle Sacajawea was left behind in Coda," Firera's voice said.
Lol Firera, you're so naive. Embrace the fourth wall-ness, let it consume you until any resemblance of plot is snuffed out. It's okay. Your pointing this out doesn't ruin the joke, it makes it funnier, so don't worry about it. Just don't do it again.
"Hey, this is my scene I can write what I want. Anyway this is the fifth dimension so the shuttle could of been recovered. Craig's remark was a joke, so loosen up!" Marill's voice said angrily.
Oh.... FU Marill.
Fifth dimension. Fifth dimension. We're still talking about Craig's s$$$y fourth wall joke. There's no good in this quote.
"Not exactly, in this Fifth Voyager episode the events in Blood Fever didn't happen," B'Elanna said. Tom looked huffy.
"But it must of coz you remember it," Harry said.
"Remember what?" B'Elanna lied.
I'm too angry to laugh. My will to live has gone.
On the planet (instead of the boring/soppy scene):
"What are you talking about, B'Elanna?" Tom asked.
"That Riley was always next to you and touching you when you were asleep," B'Elanna said angrily.
"Eeew, in what way, Firera?" Marill's voice said.
"Oh shut up, Marill. She was probably just touching his face or something, now lets get on with the episode," Firera's voice replied.
NO, THE SOPPY SCENE! RIP SOPPY SCENE. YOUR SACRIFICE WAS FOR NOTHING BUT YOU'LL ALWAYS BE REMEMBERED... whatever you were.
And yes, SHUT UP MARILL. We get it, your FV persona doesn't like icky stuff like kissing and hand holding. Face touching's cool though, not creepy at all.
"Er...if you must know, I care about you," B'Elanna stuttered.
"Oh, I see. Does that mean you..." Tom said.
"Yes I suppose it does!" B'Elanna interrupted.
"So you do love me?" Tom said.
"Er.. um I suppose so," B'Elanna said. Riley walked up to the pair.
BE STILL MY BEATING HEART. THIS IS SO ROMANTIC! TOM/B'ELANNA EVA, I'M GONNA TATTOO THIS SCENE INTO MY ARM AS A TRIBUTE TO THE BEST PAIRING
I'll stop shouting when the writing stops being terrible. Deal with it.
"Oooh, I hate that Riley. She's so girly and her voice annoys the hell out of me!" Marill's voice said.
"Don't worry she gets hurt at some point," Firera's voice said.
"So, how are you feeling, Tom," Riley said in her annoying soft voice.
"Get away from him, you slut!" B'Elanna yelled.
Hurray, my first slut/whore/tramp etc... insult. I'm so proud.
Sexist crap against my own gender Count: 1
I dunno, this one may be abandoned, it's more depressing than funny.
"No, leave it, I've nearly finished," Firera's voice said.
"B'Elanna, just leave it," Tom said.
Literary brilliance ladies and gentlemen!
"Ooooh, Riley, you're dead!" B'Elanna yelled as she picked up a dagger that appeared out of nowhere.
"Marill, give me that pad and pen back!" Firera's voice yelled.
"Oh, this is annoying!" Marill's voice said.
"B'Elanna, if it wasn't for me, Tom would be dead so put down that dagger," Riley said.
B'Elanna raised the dagger and slashed Riley in the face. Blood poured down her face.
THIS IS SO EXCITING. AND HAHA, B'ELANNA PULLED A DAGGER OUT OF THIN AIR COS SHE'S THAT ANGRY. I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SCENE
"Is that all you're going to do, give me that here!" Marill's voice yelled.
Suddenly B'Elanna stabbed Riley in the stomach. Riley dropped to the ground.
YEAH, THAT'LL TEACH HER FOR BEING NICE AND SOMETIMES FLIRTY WITH A MAN THAT SOMEONE ELSE HAS THEIR EYE ON. GOOD JOB B'ELANNA MARKING YOUR TERRITORY WITH BLOOD!!!
Oh yeah I can get "louder". The very violent catfight isn't the worst part. "Marill" grabs the notepad (and I'll get to the notepad complaint a bit later) to write her grabbing the dagger. Nothing is said to indicate Firera retrieved anything, and yet Marill complains the face slashing wasn't enough as if Firera wrote it. Then she demands the notepad again, leading to the stabbing. Seriously, my multiple personalities disorder was flaring up bad during Part 2.
Oops almost forgot in all the excitement:
Exclaimed Count: 5 (8 Overall)
Tom, for some reason, was sitting in the co-pilots seat. B'Elanna was sitting in the pilots seat.
I have no reason for putting them in the opposite seats, no actual plot reason for doing it. But I'll still do it because: "Hey, this is my scene I can write what I want. "
"Oh my god! You killed Riley and your asking me if I'm okay?" Tom exclaimed.
"Oh my god! You sounded like those kids from South Park," B'Elanna exclaimed. Suddenly the wavefile I got off the net started playing.
"Oh my god", this is still here?
"Oh my god" okay. We're doing this, but first!!
Exclaimed Count: 7 (10 Overall)
Who's winning now muttered? Mwahahahaha.
The classic your/you're mistake. The rest of the quote was so bad I completely missed it the first time. That probably explains some of these mistakes.
Oh and hahaha way to date yourself Aggressions 2, wavefile. *snort* Great, now I have the hiccups.
You know what, this doesn't deserve to exist once let alone be quoted again. The next bit after the above is the wavefile being quoted word for word, because... who cares, IT'S FUNNEH!
I really believe I was high on something when I wrote this. An orange juice contamination. The Cherry Coke bottle I bought had double the sugar in it. I hit my head after uploading Part 1 and suffered from a concussion for a few years. Possessed by the My Immortal writer, which would explain the bloody violence in the previous scene.
I clearly did not care about this. Part 1 was dull at times but at least I made an effort to follow what I had planned, and keep the series' tone as I imagined. Part 2 does not give a s$$$.
"God, I don't like these new writers," Tom said.
"WHAT!" Firera yelled.
"WHAT!" Marill yelled.
Preach it Tom. The hero we don't deserve.
I'm tired of quoting every horrible thing. Because Tom dares to say what everyone is probably thinking, besides WTF, they make what I assume is the ex-Borgs in Unity's combined voices tell him to stab himself.
When Tom asks B'Elanna if she said anything, and that's all, she responds with "do I sound like Borg drones?" I mean yeah, it's silly Tom would think the Borg voices was her, but she doesn't know what he heard. I'm giving Aggressions 2 the thought it doesn't deserve.
"Yes," Tom said. WHACK!! An iron bar had just appeared out of nowhere so B'Elanna could hit Tom with it. Tom heard the voices again.
An... iron... bar? WTF?
"Oh my god, I'm hearing the voices again!" Tom said.
"I see," B'Elanna said..
I can practically see and hear the original characters saying these lines.
Aggressions Part 2 started another annoying re-occurring gag. The TEAM ROCKET MOTTO!
Tom rightfully complains, despite the iron bar killing him, that the writers are at fault for his suffering. For some reason his finger points to Firera and insults her hair, which gives us...
Exclaimed Count: 8 (11 Overall)
Okay, he's sorta right, Firera is the one complaining about her "hurt Tom" scene being interrupted. The thing is, I'm sure the Tom abuse was my idea. Not to this extremes but what was planned to the extremes Aggressions Part 2 did? Nothing, that's what.
But anyway, what follows is the first of million Team Rocket motto's that were altered slightly in the show to suit the Pokémon episode. But since they're copied and pasted into FV they either have nothing to do with the episode or something is shoe-horned in to make it so, so that's why Tom made fun of Firera's hair cut.
Oh yeah and the writers have Pokémon, which they soon unleash into the shuttle. Not just one each, all of them seemingly. Half way through the motto, this happens...
It roared and a flame of fire came out of it's mouth and it hit Sarah. Somehow she was still okay, just a little black.
"Firera," Firera said. Sarah suddenly wasn't black anymore.
Oh dear. That's a mistake worth fixing (and now it has been, it'll be preserved here though). If the previous crap wasn't enough, this name slip up is proof that I was out of my goddamn mind when I wrote this. I screwed up MY OWN SODDING NAME! IF THAT'S NOT PROOF I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS!
Raichu appears for a split one worded and unoriginal pun second, only to disappear again.
"Be quiet! I'm getting sick of you!" Firera yelled. Suddenly a phaser appeared in her hand and she shot her.
Well until Seven arrives, someone's gotta take the hate.
"Why don't we beam him to the Borg cube like in the draft, but he can get assimilated or get shot by the rescue team," Marill said.
THERE'S A DRAFT? AND YOU'RE NOT FOLLOWING IT. WHAT A SURPRISE! I'M SHOCKED! SHOCKED!!!!!!!
"Oh wait, we haven't got much time. We still have to do the scenes from Scorpion, we haven't go the time to finish this scene," Marill said.
I'm laughing on the outside, but inside I'M DYING PAINFULLY
"Fine, he can be the one who gets attacked by Species 8472 instead of Harry," Firera said.
If you've gotten this far and you still prefer Aggressions to Aggression, then I've lost any respect for you and I hate you. Your opinion sucks.
There's nothing subjective about this, it's AWFUL! The only entertainment you can get off it is laugh at how bad it is. OMG Aggressions Part 2 was My Immortal before it existed. All we need now is a "put his thingie" style sex scene and Tuvok yelling "you mother-f$$$$rs" and we're set.
What possessed me to write this, keep it as it was and then upload it? It's not over. We're only half way.
Seven Of Nine walked across the Bridge and faced Kathryn.
"Unacceptable, blah, blah, blah, blah," Seven blabbered on. Neelix ran onto the Bridge.
Oh look, a new character but TOUGH, I hate her. She gets nothing.
"Captain, some crewmembers are saying they've been seeing a girl with brown hair and a girl with red short hair wandering around the ship causing trouble," Neelix said. Seven continued to blabber on.
"Oh it's that Firera & Marill again, Neelix. They're just the new writers," Kathryn said. Suddenly Seven stopped talking when the Team Rocket music came on again.
"Oh, this is getting tiring," Tom said.
But... but... you just said "we still have time to do the scenes from Scorpion". Why are we doing this again so soon? Oh my god. I think the muttered word count needs replacing with...
Motto Count: 2
"Prepare for trouble from a girl with brown hair," Marill's voice said.
Suddenly a giant 5 appeared on the view screen. Firera fell over as Marill jumped onto her back.
Oh yeah, I'd do something like this. I can barely jump a few inches. Since this is a ripped off motto, I'm assuming what it means is I sit on her back like the twisted bitch I am.
5? Pfftt hahahahaha, sorry, just remembering the old Fifth Voyager logo. It didn't last long for a reason.
Back to the sitting on someone bit, Firera's response is muffled so er... my theory goes out the window. Where the hell did I jump? Getting a bit creepy here.
Oh another writer appears and she's instantly the best one, well not instantly, after her first line anyway.
"Oh, sorry, I love the Team Rocket motto," Vulpix said.
"It's not the Team Rocket motto, it's our motto," Marill said.
"No it isn't, the first motto you did was from 'Tracey Gets Bugged' and the last one you did was you own version of the one from 'Make Room For Gloom.' They are all from Pokémon," Vulpix said. Firera got her pad out and started writing. Vulpix disappeared in a flash of light and she appeared on the Isle Of Man.
What did the Isle of Man ever do to deserve an Aggressions Part 2 mention?
Oh and F$$$ OFF MARILL, YOU GODDAMN LIAR
"Can we just get back to the episode?" Harry asked.
"Oh sure, we just couldn't resist it," Marill said.
F$$$ OFF MARILL
I'm gonna get locked up for this. Not that I'm shouting f$$$ off at my laptop or anything, ahem.
"Bye bye, see ya next episode," Firera said. The pair disappeared. Seven walked up to Tom. He fired his phaser but it bounced straight of her Borg shields. She pushed him away from his console and she started assimilating the conn.
Why is the Seven bit in the same paragraph? Oh who cares, I clearly didn't.
"But I thought it was Chakotay...oh yeah I was on that Borg planet... oops sorry, I'll go now!" Tom said. He ran out of the room.
How could you forget Tom? It was only a scene ago. That iron bar couldn't have hurt that much.
"Seven wait a few more minutes," Kathryn said.
"This is irrelevant," Seven said.
Pfft, okay that could've been better but still, brief laugh that wasn't painful. Always nice.
I mildly like Tom's attempts to distract Seven, but at this point I'm liking anything that doesn't have writers and violence in.
"Take her to Sickbay," Kathryn said. She herself started to look faint.
"I'll take you too," Chakotay said.
"What! Why?" Kathryn exclaimed.
"You look ill," Chakotay said.
"I'm fine," Kathryn said before she collapsed.
OMG SO SHOCKING, WHO'D SEE THAT ONE COMING? IT WAS SO SUDDEN, BRILLIANT WRITING!
Exclaimed Count: 9 (12 Overall)
Well that's Scorpion over guys, I hope you didn't blink.
"If my scans are accurate, she is suffering from psychological trauma, she'll have to stay on light duty," the Doctor said.
I think this part has that effect on everyone.
But seriously, what? This is so far off the original plan, it's soo sad. I've just remembered the sticking to plan count thanks to this. Oh dear.
Suppose to Happen Count: -1,000,000 (I don't care anymore)
From what I remember of the old Kidz Trek version of this story, the Captain's pregnancy hormones push her to take care of every situation violently. Not B'Elanna and Riley violently. The stress of it makes her pass out, yeah, but psychological trauma? Okay.
The best part is, none of that has happened in Aggressions. Not yet anyway. We're 2/3's of the way through Part 2, and now we're getting to her hormone driven bad temper. The title means sod all.
So yeah next scene, J/C argue about her drinking coffee and him checking up on her "needlessly", but the scene just ends, presumably because that's where my website program couldn't handle anymore stupid and crashed. Ironic considering it was the only scene to actually follow its plot without distraction.
There's an intermission with Marill getting the error and swearing. I'm sure this has been cut down to be honest. Then it goes to "later that night in Sickbay" where Janeway's been admitted, so we're left to assume whatever we want since the previous J/C scene ended with:
"Gladly, but your going back to Sickbay," Chakotay said.
"No, I'm bloody well not!" Kathryn yelled.
Then Janeway morphs into a toddler and picks up the first hypospray she sees, seemingly infected by the Season Three EDGY disease. It can be fatal, just ask Jessie.
Scene skips again to Craig who likes brunettes drooling over red headed Firera and not the other brunette writer, cos haha I'm ugly. That joke never gets old.
"Well can we change it, it'll help a lot," Firera's voice said.
Don't be silly Firera, the delete key doesn't exist.
"I don't think you can get a natural red head, the only way you can get your hair dark red is if you dye it," Harry muttered.
Muttered Count: 4 (9 Overall)
And what? Yes you can, try saying that to Janeway's face. I DARE YOU!
"Oh be quiet, that girl's after me because I said she had butchered chopped hair. Goodness knows what she'll do to you because of you saying she's not a natural red head," Tom said.
"I can't take it any more!" Firera's voice yelled.
"Not again," Marill's voice moaned.
Firera appeared. Her face matched her hair colour.
"I'm sick of this. This is the second attempt at this scene and your still insulting my hair! Prepare..." Firera said angrily.
"For trouble?" Tom interrupted.
"No, prepare to die!" Firera exclaimed.
Phew, almost copied the wrong counter there.
Exclaimed Count: 10 (13 Overall)
"Will you go away now?" Tom asked. Firera snatched the notepad off Marill and started writing. Tom disappeared and reappeared in Sickbay, he saw an hypospray and injected himself with it.
"Paris to Bridge. The Captain's beaten me to it."
Oh, that's why Janeway grabs the hypospray. So we can have this hilarious fourth wall joke where a writer commands a character to do something but can't 'cause someone else is. HA, HA, HA, HAAAAAAAA!
"What! How can that happen again?" Marill exclaimed.
Exclaimed Count: 11 (14 Overall)
"Why the hell does she keep doing it?" Firera asked angrily.
Tom activated the Doctor and then injected himself with what was left of the Doctor's experiment.
"Firera, what about the Captain, we have to torment her in the Year Of Hell episode," Marill asked.
WH... WE DO?
"Oh come on Firera, make an effort, this hasn't happened before, remember?" Marill said.
"Of course it has," Firera said as she continued writing on the notepad. Kes was called to Sickbay but because of her increasing telepathic powers she had thought up a promising way to save Kathryn's life.
WHAT IS HAPPENING?
"Suicide attempts I would think," the Doctor replied. An alarm went off near Kathryn's bio bed. Kes and the Doctor ran over to her.
"Web Express has performed an Illegal Operation!"
"AAAAGGHH! NOT AGAIN!" Marill yelled. Axe ready.
"Hey, it was this point it crashed last time!" Firera exclaimed.
HA, F$$$$$ HA!
Exclaimed Count: 12 (15 Overall)
Oh is this the reason for the "why is this happening again" conversation? Groooooaaaaan!
"Her blood pressure is dropping, Doctor!" Kes exclaimed. The Doctor picked up a hypo spray from the Instrument tray and he injected it in Kathryn's neck.
"No affect," the Doctor muttered. Kes stared at the bio bed console.
"Wait, Doctor, I can see it," Kes muttered.
Why is instrument capitalised? Two muttered's in a row, why not we had two exclaimed's in a row.
Hahaha. My laughs are fake but my tears are real.
Exclaimed Count: 13 (16 Overall)
Muttered Count: 6 (11 Overall)
"I know what the problem is Doctor. We have to transport the baby out," Kes said.
"Oh yeah, I forgot about that," Marill's voice said.
WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED?
"Because whatever she injected herself with is killing the baby and it's causing her blood pressure to drop," Kes replied.
CAPTAIN JANEWAY WOULD TOTALLY DO THIS. HOW DARE THAT CHAKOTAY TAKE HER TO SICKBAY, THAT'LL TEACH HIM.
"Alright, prepare for a fetal transport," the Doctor said.
"What's that?" Marill's voice asked.
"I don't know, it was mentioned in Deadlock the episode when Naomi was born," Firera's voice replied.
HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHAT THAT IS? IT'S PRETTY SELF EXPLANATORY
ALSO, STOP PRETENDING YOU DON'T REMEMBER DEADLOCK MARILL
ALSO X2, SHUT UP AND DO SOME ACTUAL NARRATING. THIS WRITERS COMMENT ON EVERYTHING DOES NOT COUNT
"Locking on...energizing," Kes said as she worked on the console.
Z's are cool. Who needz S anymore. Letz go all American. Yeah!
"Er... Firera, where's Chakotay at?" Marill's voice asked.
"Oh crap, er I'll sort that out," Firera's voice said.
Chakotay, who had been in Sickbay ever since Tom injected himself with the hypospray, decided to say something so somebody would notice him.
I GET IT NOW. Somebody dared me to write a stupid line, then continue to top it until I got to the end of the episode. That's the only explanation.
"What's going on, Doc?" he asked.
"You know what's going on," the Doctor moaned.
Don't speak for us all Doc. Nobody knows what's going on.
"I know, I just wanted to get some attention," Chakotay said.
"Congratulations, Commander, it's a girl," Kes said. Naomi ran into Sickbay.
"Yey! A friend!" she yelled. Samantha walked in and picked Naomi up.
"C'mon, you're suppose to be in bed," she said as she walked out. Meanwhile Tom was in extreme pain.
1) Heh, okay I smiled at the Naomi part. It doesn't mean you're forgiven Aggressions. Not by a long shot.
2) Oh of course, Tom's in extreme pain after injecting the drops of the hypo Kathryn did. Yet she wasn't. Blood pressure and fetus killing, but no extreme pain. There's no point in searching for logic or plot continuity in this turd.
The two writers have finally left us alone for the time being, much to the relief of the entire crew.
So the characters know how annoying these writers cameo's are. I was self aware of this and still, I kept doing it. Okaay?
On another note, our new crewmember, Seven Of Nine, has been released from Sickbay. On another note the Captain & Chakotay's baby girl has been named Kiara Morgan Janeway.
Tuvok I know this episode is painful, but chugging the whiskey isn't going to make it all go away. Think of the children.
This goes beyond word repetition, a whole phrase repeated. Nice!
Some trivia: Kiara is based on the Kidz Trek character simply named Kiara Morgan, daughter of Kathy and Chris Morgan. I know, my originality knows no bounds. Giving her the same first name is reasonable. It's not exactly a plain Jane name, so it kinda works for a J/C kid name.
Morgan on the other hand was a surname and doesn't fit. I didn't want the Roxanne of this story to keep her first name, for reasons I can only speculate nowadays, so I gave Morgan to her. The only way to do this was to give Kiara it as middle name. Of course, there was no... other... way. Groan.
"Oh, it's from a 20th century film called Lion King 2. You see, Kiara was the daughter of Simba. She fell in love with the heir of another pride and they both brought the two prides together as one pride," Tom replied.
Oh yeah and Kiara was from the Lion King sequel. I was going to mention that, honest.
It's exposition dumpy, it didn't need the title or what century it was made in. The reasoning for Kiara's name here, or rather the excuse FV uses for her name, actually is pretty appropriate now that I read it. But no, just no to this particular paragraph.
Let's edit it up a notch:
It's a tale from long ago. You see, Kiara was the heir of a warring tribe. She fell in love with the prince of the opposing faction. They brought the two factions together as one.
Yeah it's crap, I could do better but I still gotta keep it Season One-y. I know it's J/C that were the ones that brought the faction/prides together, not the daughter, and lol how creepy it is to talk about a newborn falling in love.
Also... JANEWAY ASKS WHERE THE NAME CAME FROM.
"The point is Naomi, that Kiara is an appropriate name for the daughter of two leaders of two different, factions, am I making any sense here?" Tom asked.
"Sort of," Chakotay said.
DID TOM NAME HER AND J/C SHRUGGED AND SAID LOL WHY NOT, ONLY TO ASK LATER WHAT IT MEANT WHILST SHOWING HER OFF IN THE MESS HALL.
I HATE THIS PILE OF CRAP, IT CAN'T GET ANY WORS...
"Where did the Morgan part come from...oh that Captain who sounds like Sideshow Bob from the Simpsons," Tom said.
"Who, what?" Chakotay asked.
OH, F$$$ ME
"I miss Kes," Naomi moaned.
"We all do, Naomi," Kathryn said.
Ending on a high note I see, Aggressions Part 2. You wanted us to know what you really were right until the end. Kudos... you piece of s$$$
Thank god that's over. I'm actually starting to consider Hunters second worst to this now that I've read it in full.
Marill's Rating: 0/10
NO MERCY! DIE IN A FIRE AGGRESSIONS PART 2
I knew the writers took over a majority of this part, but I didn't remember how bad it really was. The characters try their best to keep the original story going but the writers, who should be steering the plot, keep running in shouting LOOK AT ME! Two Team Rocket motto's and an almost third one. Their fourth wall controlling of the characters was not consistent, they'd control one character but not have a clue what another is doing. Firera would complain that a scene isn't going to her liking, Marill will agree but KEEP IT THE SAME. Again the consistency is brought up, but if she didn't want Tom insulting her hair or saying the writers suck (they do!) then why is he saying it? How did Damien steal the notepad and take over for a few minutes?
And the notepad? Sure drafts are written in notepads. The actual episodes on the site, what are the official versions unfortunately (oh god I might skip World Domination) were obviously typed onto a computer. Yeah a notebook is easier to snatch off someone than a computer. It could've been a keyboard. Though the writers appearing with only a keyboard may look a bit daft, but THIS EPISODE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT LOOKING DAFT SO WHO CARES?
You know, I still don't care for Riley. All the ex-Borgs are warring, and her solution is to assimilate them into her mini collective, AGAINST THEIR WILL. OH AND USE CHAKOTAY AGAINST HIS WILL TO ACHIEVE IT. F$$$ Riley. Though I was so close to forgiving her in the Acts of Contrition book just for her beating up Seven. That was glorious!
The point is other than I still easily go off track, is no matter what my feelings for Riley are, Aggressions 2 went too far. I think if Seven was introduced like this, in her place, I'd say the same thing. B'Elanna likes Tom, she sees Riley being nice to him and gently flirting and of course that means she should die for it. Even if they were dating/married whatever, that's a big no. I mean James' response to Simon in Resistance was more than justified in comparison (though tbf, "Simon" still deserved what he got the dang entitled creep, it was the only FV comparison I could think of).
Yes yes, "Marill" made her do it but so many times the characters do whatever they want without my or Firera's input, and sometimes surprise them both in the process.
Kes' up and vanishing in between scenes is a god damn insult. Yes there's meant to be mystery in it, however it can be written much, MUCH better than that. I miss Kes. Until the reveal readers are free to believe Kes ran away to get away from the craziness.
The mistakes, the South Park clip, my name being wrong. It's a mess even without the above. I wish I knew what happened here. I just stopped caring and I hadn't even finished the first episode yet. How deluded must I have been to think I was writing something good and funny? Sheesh.
Exclaimed Count: 13 (16 Overall)
Muttered Count: 6 (11 Overall)
Suppose to Happen Count: -1,000,000 (I've already forfeited this one. I wouldn't expect it again)
Motto Count: 2 and a bit, okay 2
Sexist crap against my own gender Count: 1
Stay tuned for Mental Illness. With a title like that you think you're going to get more of the above? You're... probably right, but I already know from looking at it recently for the reboot that it's comedic genius compared to Aggressions Part 2. Also it's shorter, a lot shorter. Yay!