|
Too Q |
Episode
Synopsis
Different
crewmembers find 6 children, who for some reason belongs to those
crewmembers, but nobody recognises them.
Guest
Stars
Firera
as herself
Raichu
as herself
Marill
as herself
John
De Lancie as Q
Keegan
De Lance as Q2
Written
By
Firera
& Raichu
Written
15th
April 2001
Episode
Based In
June
2376 (late season 6)
Engineering:
"Tom,
we're not even married yet, we can't have a child now,"
B'Elanna moaned as she was working at the console. What B'Elanna and
Tom didn't know was that Harry & Triah were eaves dropping.
"But
I've always wanted to be a parent, B'El," Tom muttered.
"So
have I but don't you think we should take things one step at a
time?" B'Elanna muttered.
"Fine,
have it your way," Tom said. He left Engineering.
B'Elanna looked over to Harry & Triah. They noticed and they quickly continued working.
A
strange noise caught B'Elanna's ear. It was coming from the jeffries
tube. She walked towards it and she opened the door. She gaped in shock.
"Where
did this come from? B'Elanna to Sickbay," B'Elanna said.
"Sickbay
here."
"Has
anybody except the Captain and Samantha got a kid?" B'Elanna asked.
"No,
why do you ask?"
"Then
why is there a three year old sitting in the jeffries tube?"
B'Elanna asked as she stared at the Klingon kid who had his back to her.
"I
don't know. Beam him or her here for observation."
B'Elanna
moved away from the jeffries tube and she keyed in some commands.
She and the child beamed away.
"What's
going on?" Triah asked.
"Beats
me, I'll go and find out," Harry replied. He left Engineering.
Triah
heard a kids giggle coming from the upper part of Engineering. She
climbed up the ladder and she got to the top.
"Kiara,
Naomi, is that you?" she asked as she got to the top. She saw a
kid spinning on a chair and it was definitely not Kiara or Naomi.
Triah walked up to him and she stopped the chair. He looked Japanese
and he had short black hair. "So, who are you?" Triah
asked. He giggled at her and he tried to spin the chair again.
"Triah to Sickbay."
Sickbay:
"Doc,
who do these kids belong to?" B'Elanna asked.
Sickbay
had become a nursery. B'Elanna, Triah, three other girls, three
little boys and two little girls had dominated Sickbay.
"I'm
checking the results now. I just hope there are no more," the
Doctor muttered. Much to his horror Morgan walked in trying to
persuade another little girl to follow her in. "I don't believe
it," he moaned.
Morgan
walked back out and a few seconds later she came in with the kid in
her arms.
"Doctor,
where the hell did this brat come from!" she yelled which made
the girl cry. The other kids decided to join in as well.
"I've
finished my analysis. First let me scan this other girl," the
Doctor said as he took the wailing girl off Morgan. He scanned her
for a couple of seconds and he walked towards his console. "Hmm,
interesting," he muttered. He tapped his commbadge.
"Sickbay
to Bridge. Can you tell Lieutenant's Paris, Anderson and Kim to come
to Sickbay. Oh and also Ensigns Liyhye, Juhid and Ayala as well,"
Doctor said.
"As
you wish, Doc," Chakotay's voice said.
Five
minutes later the six guys walked into the room. The girls were
laughing at them.
"Doc,
are you trying to say that they're the dads?" Triah laughed.
"Hmm,
that's quite funny. Why don't you get the mums here too,"
Morgan said.
"I
already have," the Doctor said. All the girls stared at him in
shock. The Doctor introduced three of the kids to the six guest
stars. The Doctor then picked up the boy that B'Elanna found and he
walked up to B'Elanna and Tom.
"This
one's yours," he said. Tom & B'Elanna stared blankly at the
kid. Tom took the kid into his arms.
"What's
wrong Tom, I thought you wanted a kid," B'Elanna said
sarcastically. Tom ignored her.
The
Doctor picked up the second boy and he handed him to Harry.
"This
one belongs to you and Triah," the Doctor said. Both of them
stood there in shock.
"You've
done it again, Harry. First it was a Hologram then it was a..."
Ten
minutes later:
"...then
it was giant blob, and now it's a clean freak girl that has Craig
for a step brother," Tom said.
"Are
you quite finished yet?" Harry asked.
"No,
I missed Morgan out of that list. She was in between the mermaid and
that Monkey Island 1-28 character," Tom said.
"Monkey
Island?" the Doctor muttered.
"Yeah
that game that came out in the 1980's and the creators went a bit
nuts on it so they made twenty seven more sequels over the course of
one hundred and fifty years," Tom said.
"Which
character did he like, cos I'd love to control her," Craig said.
"She
was the one who got married to the main character in the third one.
Tough luck Craig," Tom replied. Craig groaned.
"It
doesn't matter anyway Lieutenant, you have this lovely three year
old girl to look after.. with Morgan," the Doctor said.
"Uhoh,"
Tom muttered. Everyone looked around and they couldn't see Morgan
anywhere. The Doctor noticed that she had fainted and she was lying
on the floor. "Lets just hope he doesn't ask his own daughter
out," Tom muttered. The Doctor helped Morgan onto a biobed.
"Oh
well, I'll leave you to get used to family life, bye," the
Doctor said.
"But
Doc, where did these kids come from?" Harry asked.
"I
don't know. I'll have a word with the Captain," the Doctor said.
"This
actually sounds familiar to what happened with Kiara," Tom said.
"Yeah
and we still didn't find out how she came to be," B'Elanna said.
"I
don't care as long as Morgan and I have a kid," Craig said in a
dreamy tone of voice.
"I
think I'm going to be sick," B'Elanna muttered.
"We
all feel like that," Tom said.
"No
seriously," B'Elanna said.
"Not
in my Sickbay!" the Doctor screeched.
The
Conference Room:
"How
are they getting on, Doctor?" Kathryn asked.
"Not
too well. The three couples that are guest stars are doing fine
because nobody cares about them. Morgan still hasn't left Sickbay
after fainting. Tom and B'Elanna are getting on okay with each other
but not the child. People are complaining because Harry & Triah
are always fighting," the Doctor replied.
"I'm
actually surprised that one of the kids wasn't one of theirs,"
Chakotay said as pointed at Jessie and James.
"What
does that mean exactly, tattoo boy," Jessie said angrily.
"He's
right. I'm surprised the writers weren't nasty to you two this
time," Kathryn said.
"Just
wait until Season Two, hahahahaha," Marill's voice laughed.
"Marill,
what are you doing here, this is our story only," Firera's
voice asked.
"This
is my house damn it! And that's my computer! I have a right to be
here!" Marill's voice yelled.
"No
what I mean is why are you featured in this episode when you're not
writing it?" Firera's voice asked.
"You
always pop into our stories, right Raichu?" Marill's voice asked.
"By
the way, Doc, do you have any idea where these children came
from?" Kathryn asked.
"No
idea, Captain. It's still a mystery to where Kiara came from as
well," the Doctor replied.
"Keep
working on it," Kathryn said.
"Aye
Captain," the Doctor replied.
Sickbay:
Morgan
woke up to a small face staring at her. Morgan sat up quickly in
shock. The girl was sitting on her legs.
"Hi!"
she yelled.
"Doctor,
get this thing away from me!" Morgan yelled. The Doctor and
Craig rushed into the room.
"She's
not a thing, Morgan. She's your daughter," the Doctor said.
"I
DON'T HAVE A DAUGHTER!" Morgan yelled.
"You
do now," the Doctor said.
"Oh
come on, Morgan, what's wrong with her?" Craig asked.
"I
don't want a bloody kid!" Morgan moaned.
"Tough,
you have one now," the Doctor said.
"And
what are you going to do about it baldy!" Morgan yelled she
picked up the girl and she pushed her into Craig's arms and she ran
out of Sickbay.
"So,
Craig, what are you going to name her?" the Doctor asked.
"Er,
Lene is nice. That was my mum's name," Craig replied.
Engineering:
"What
should we call him?" Tom asked.
"Mischief,"
B'Elanna muttered as their kid started crawling on the console. He
pressed some controls. The lights went off for a couple of seconds
and they came back on. Tom picked up the boy.
"What
about Tommy," Tom said.
"That's
similar to your name but I like it," B'Elanna said.
"Hehehehe,
what does this button do?" Tommy asked. He pressed the button
and the warp core disappeared. "Cool!" he giggled.
"Janeway
to Engineering. I didn't say you could eject the core."
"Oh
sorry, it was Tommy," B'Elanna said.
"Tom
huh? Tom report to my ready room."
"You
heard her Tom," B'Elanna said. Tom looked gobsmacked.
"But
it was Tommy not me," Tom said.
"So,
he's only three. You were holding him so it was your fault,"
B'Elanna said.
The
Bridge:
Kathryn
headed into her ready room. Jessie and James were at the helm.
"One
of you two, get the warp core back. And for god's sake there can
only be one helm person," Chakotay said.
"Helm,
yeah," Jessie muttered.
"Oops,
wrong station. I was wondering what happened to my saves,"
James said.
"Saves?"
Chakotay asked.
"Uhoh,"
they both muttered and they ran out of the Bridge. Meanwhile Triah
and Harry were arguing at Harry's station.
"Your
kid!" Triah yelled as she pushed the kid into Harry's arms.
"No,
yours!" Harry yelled as he gave the kid back to Triah.
"Yours!"
Triah yelled.
"Yours!"
Harry yelled.
"So,
er, guys. What are you calling him?" Chakotay asked. Harry and
Triah glared at him.
"Kojiro,
and he's yours!" Triah yelled.
"No,
he's yours!" Harry yelled.
"Hey,
I just thought. James in the Japanese Pokémon is called
Kojiro," Tani said.
"Definitely
yours!" Triah yelled.
"I'm
not having a kid named after a cowardly goof ball!" Harry yelled.
"I
heard that!" a deep goofy voice said.
"Er,
that wasn't James, the voice was too deep," Harry said.
"Oooh,
another James. I wonder if he's a cutie too," Tani said.
"It's
more than likely to be the cartoon character. Don't ask me how it
could be possible. But it did sound like him," Triah said.
"I
was right, he is a cutie! I just love that baby face and the blue
hair," Tani said. Everyone felt sick. Suddenly another girl
that's not on the cast list appeared out of nowhere.
"It's
purple hair!" she yelled.
"Blue!"
Tani yelled.
"Purple!"
the girl yelled.
"Excuse
me, but who are you?" Chakotay asked.
"Oooh,
you're cute," the girl said.
"Excuse
me but the monkey asked you a question, you colour blind girl,"
Tani said angrily.
"Oh,
I'm Nicola, where's Tom and H?" she replied.
"H?"
Harry muttered.
"Yeah,
Marill said that H was playing a character in Fifth Voyager,"
the girl replied. Marill appeared. She tried to drag Nicola away.
"Come
on, you're not suppose to be here. Go and drool over Chris,"
Marill said.
"But
I want to see Tom and H," Nicola moaned as Marill dragged her
out of the Bridge.
"That
was disturbing," Chakotay muttered.
The
Conference Room:
Everyone
was there including the kids. The kids, however, were crawling
around on the floor eating chocolate. Chocolate hand prints were all
over the floor.
"Er,
question number one. Why are these three year olds less mature than
Kiara is?" Kathryn asked.
"I
may have an answer. Q's grow very quickly but they do not mature as
quick, I believe that Q has put these children here to play a joke on
us," the Doctor said
"That's
only partially accurate, baldy."
Q
appeared in a flash of light. "Hello everyone, it's great to
see you all again," Q said with his arms out stretched. Everyone groaned.
"Excuse
me, but who are you?" Morgan asked.
"You
don't recognise me darling? Surely you must remember my last visit,
when you were two years old," Q said.
"Don't
call me darling," Morgan said angrily.
"Q,
why are these children here and what the hell have you done to your
hair?" Kathryn asked.
"My
dear Kathy, that was a very rude question, but for you I will
answer. My son, Q2, decided to have some fun so he brought these
children into existence. For your second question, I have the same
hair style that I have in original Voyager episode 'Q2," Q
replied as he put his feet up on the table.
"Where
is your son?" Chakotay asked.
"Well
Chief, your guess is as good as mine," Q replied. He stood up
and he walked up to Tani. He stared at her for a couple of seconds.
"Tell me Kathy, how many more characters are you going to add to
this very large main cast list?" Q asked as he stared at Tani.
"Quit
that or I'll punch that big nose of yours," Tani said angrily.
"Q,
as far as I know, there is two more main characters coming in this
season. Now will you sort this problem out before it gets more out of
hand than it is already," Kathryn said.
"Of
course. I just have to find my son," Q said.
"This
episode is just getting better by the minute," Chakotay said sarcastically.
Engineering:
"This
is so fun," Q2 giggled. B'Elanna, Tom and Tommy walked into the room.
"I
don't recognise that kid," Tom muttered.
"That
must be Q's brat," B'Elanna muttered. They both walked up to Q2.
"Hi,
having fun?" Q2 asked.
"Yeah,
whatever. Your dad wants you," Tom replied.
"Meh!
Who cares," Q2 replied.
"We
care. These kids are really a nice gift but we can't except them. It
doesn't feel the same," B'Elanna said.
"Humans,"
Q2 muttered. Q appeared in a flash of light.
"The
turtle head is right son, why don't we just.." Q said.
"Why
don't you just leave us alone," Tom said.
"My
Tommy, you're very rude," Q muttered.
"Dad,
can't they keep the kids just a little while longer?" Q2 asked.
"Sorry,
this episode is running out of writing time already," Q replied.
"Oh
okay, next time we'll have a much longer episode, right dad?"
Q2 asked.
"Of
course," Q replied. They both disappeared. All six children
disappeared not long afterwards.
Captains
Log: This episode.. er I mean this situation didn't last as long as
we thought. We are carrying on with our journey home.
"Okay
Tom, B'Elanna, I've determined why you are always being sick all the
time B'Elanna. You're pregnant," the Doctor said in a cheerful manner.
"That's
great, B'Elanna!" Tom said and he hugged B'Elanna.
Meanwhile
in the Mess Hall:
Morgan,
Craig, Tani, Jessie, James & Triah sat at a table eavesdropping
on the previous conversation.
"Ha!
Now they've got a brat for real," Triah said.
"Yeah,
and I don't," Morgan said happily.
"Okay,
who's next?" Craig asked. Everyone looked at Jessie and James.
"What?"
they both asked in unison.
"Will
you be the next ones to have a kid?" Morgan asked.
"Don't
make me sick. Kids are disgusting little rats!" Jessie snapped.
"Um
yeah, and why would we have a kid?" James asked.
"They
have no idea do they," Morgan said.
"Oh
Q!" Triah yelled.
"No!
Don't do it!" James yelled.
"Don't
worry guys, Season Two is getting closer," Morgan whispered.
"What
does that mean?" Jessie asked.
"I
don't know, I think the writers were just using me as a
messenger," Morgan replied. Neelix walked over to the table.
"I
thought that I could make an appearance in this episode. How about
some Tribble Stew?" Neelix asked. Everyone rushed out of the
room as fast as they could.
****THE END****