Episode Synopsis
A shuttle crewed by Jessie & James is assimilated by the Borg and two days later Voyager finds the cube crashed on a planet.

Guest Stars
Marill as herself
Raichu as herself
Desmond Harrington as Damien
Susanna Thompson as The Borg Queen

Written By
Marill & Raichu

Written
25th February 2001

Episode Based In
October 2374 (late season 5)

Triah's Quarters:
Triah sighed as she looked at the state of her quarters. There was a piece of dust of the wall. She couldn't believe it, her room was now a mess. She picked up a cloth and she wiped the dust of the wall. The room was perfect again. The door chimed.

"Come in," Triah said happily. The pair that the whole crew called the Double Troublesome walked in.

"Are you coming?" Jessie asked.

"No, sorry but I'm busy," Triah replied.

"I know this sounds crazy but what about your brother," James asked.

"James, how could you!" Jessie exclaimed.

"I doubt it, he's in Tom's new masterpiece, The Teletubbie War," Triah said.

"Yeah, Tom's," Jessie sniggered.

"See you when we get back," James said. They both left the quarters.

"More like Kiara's Masterpiece," Jessie laughed. James laughed.

"What's so funny?" a voice said from behind them. They both jumped and they turned around. "Well, what's so funny?" Tom asked.

"We were just planning the Doctor's next outfit," James stuttered.

"Oh, so you're the ones who's been stealing my job. Remember reprogramming the Doc and making new holoprograms are my speciality, so in other words, you can't do either," Tom said. He walked away.

"Wouldn't Tom look good in a Teletubbie outfit?" Jessie whispered.

"No, I was thinking more of a rabbit, he wouldn't last two seconds when those writers are around," James said. They both laughed and they headed for the Shuttle Bay.

The Bridge, two days later:
"You know, I have the feeling we've forgotten something," Harry said. Tom was standing next to him at Opps.

"Like what?" Tom asked.

"I don't know, but it seems important," Harry said.

"Maybe Chakotay crashed another shuttle and we've just left him behind," Tom replied.

"I don't think so," Harry said.

"Why?" Tom asked.

"He's on the Bridge right now," Harry said as he pointed at the command chairs.

"Oh, yeah I knew that," Tom muttered. Craig and Triah walked onto the Bridge.

"Er, have you guys seen James and Jessie, I haven't seen them in two days," Triah asked.

"Does that explain your feeling?" Tom asked.

"All stop!" Kathryn yelled. Tom ran to his station and he pressed a few controls. Voyager dropped out of warp and they sped to a halt. "Next time, do it a little gentlier, Tom," Kathryn said.

"Sorry," Tom muttered.

"What's going on?" Craig asked.

"Jessie and James took a shuttle to a near by system, Tom said that they had docked," Chakotay replied.

"Yes, that's right," Tom said.

"Then why aren't they on the ship?" Kathryn asked.

"I assumed that their shuttle had docked," Tom said.

"Tom, you were asleep for the whole of those two hours," Harry said.

"That's right, I must of dreamed that they docked," Tom muttered. Everyone collapsed in animé style.

"Reverse course, Tom. We have to find them," Kathryn ordered.

"But I thought that crewmen either got killed or left behind?" Tom said.

"That's true because they're not main characters, but James and Jessie are!" Chakotay yelled.

"Ooops," Tom muttered.

"Tuvok, scan the area, see if you can detect their shuttle," Kathryn said.

"There is no sign of a shuttle anywhere in the area," Tuvok said.

"Hold on, I'm detecting transwarp signatures. I think a Borg Cube was here, two days ago," Harry said. Everyone stared angrily at Tom.

"Oh great, does that mean they've been assimilated?" Triah asked.

"You don't have to jump to conclusions," Chakotay said.

"Yeah, lets hope they haven't. Can you imagine Jessie without hair?" Tom asked. Everyone thought for a few seconds, a few of their faces turned pale.

"She'll either commit suicide or she'll kill us," Craig said.

"Oh, well, there's no chance that James has survived then," Tom joked. Everyone stared angrily at him again.

"Er, I hate to interrupt the glaring but I think that Borg ship is in a nearby system," Harry said.

"Set a course," Kathryn said.

"Why, there's no proof that they've been assimilated. Secondly, they're the Borg," Triah said. Everyone looked puzzled.

"The Borg are a piece of cake," Harry said.

"Since when?" Triah asked.

"Since that new queen took over, she's insane, she loves talking to herself," Tom said.

"How do you know that?" Craig asked.

"Er...I don't know," Tom muttered.

"Damn, I hate it when I do that," Raichu's voice said.

"Just hurry up and write this scene, I have the strange urge to play on Roller Coaster Tycoon," Marill's voice said.

"Either shut up or switch that stupid Pokémon 2000 CD off, I've got a headache," Raichu's voice said.

"Shh, Pokémon World is coming on, I'll turn it up," Marill's voice said. Pokémon World by Youngstown and Nobody's Angel came on and the volume grew.

"What's that music?" Tom asked.

"I don't know, but it's quite catchy," Craig said and he started to dance. Triah smacked him on the head.

"I wish they would turn that down," Kathryn yelled over the music.

"What?" Tom yelled.

Meanwhile, Unimatrix 01 (the one after the forest):
"The USS Voyager, is in the area, it may not be the Enterprise E, but we'll get our revenge on humans," the Borg Queen said.

"Oh great, she's talking to herself again," Seven's dad said. Seven's mum nodded.

"Damn, the link to the hive mind has severed a little," the Borg Queen said. Seven's parents were connected again to the insane queen. "Wait, something's happened, the nearest cube to Voyager has been disconnected. Borg Sphere 275 set a course."

Voyager:
The music stopped much to Craig's disappointment.

"Captain, we've arrived," Tom said.

"Harry, where's our cube?" Kathryn asked.

"The power on that ship has been seriously dampened. It's on the fourth planet in the system," Harry said.

"On?" Chakotay asked.

"Yeah, the readings are coming from the planet's surface," Harry said.

"It must of crashed," Craig said.

"Stating the obvious again, Craig?" Triah asked.

"No, it could of landed," Craig said.

"Is there any lifesigns?" Kathryn asked.

"Only a few," Harry said.

"Are any of them, Human?" Kathryn asked.

"As I said, there is no proof that James and Jessie were assimilated," Triah said.

"Well that was true a few seconds ago, but I've found two human lifesigns and remains of a Federation shuttle," Harry said.

"Chakotay, prepare an awayteam. Bring weapons," Kathryn said.

"But why, there are only a few of them, they won't pose a threat," Tuvok said.

"No, but Jessie without hair will," Tom said.

"Exactly," Kathryn said.

"Tom, Tuvok, you're with me," Chakotay said.

"Oh god, this is suicidal," Tom muttered as he stood up. Chakotay, Tuvok and Tom entered the turbo lift.

"I wouldn't like to be them," Craig muttered.

The planet surface:
Chakotay, Tuvok and Tom dematerialised on the surface. The whole area was covered with wreckage from the cube. Dead drones were scattered all over the wreckage.

"Tuvok, scan for the human lifesigns," Chakotay said.

"Aye, Commander," Tuvok said and he brought out a tricorder.

"Commander, how many Borg drones are we going to have in the main cast?" Tom asked.

"I don't know, three for the time being. Probably by the end of the season all of us will be drones," Chakotay replied.

"Close enough," Marill's voice said.

"Commander, I think I've found them," Tuvok said. Chakotay walked over to his position. Tom slowly followed. Tuvok and Chakotay pulled some wreckage away. Two drones were unconscious underneath.

"Geez, the Borg can fully assimilate people too quickly now," Tom muttered.

"Their lifesigns are fading, we'd better get them back to Sickbay," Tuvok said.

Tom kneeled down and he picked up Jessie's arm. Chakotay and Tuvok looked at each other, Chakotay with a puzzled look and Tuvok with a Tuvok look. Tom stood up after he finished what he had done.

"See look, even when they're Borg, they're still all over each other," Tom said. Chakotay and Tuvok looked at the pair.

"Tom, you need help," Chakotay said. Tom just grinned.

"Thanks," Tom muttered.

"Chakotay to Voyager, we've found them, five to beam up," Chakotay said. They dematerialised.

Sickbay:
"How long will it take to remove their technology?" Kathryn asked.

"I'm not sure, it'll take a lot longer if Jessie wakes up," the Doctor replied.

"AAAGGGH!" a voice screamed. Tom ran over to Kathryn and the Doctor.

"Sorry, Doc, I gave her a mirror," Tom muttered.

"My beautiful hair, it's gone!" Jessie exclaimed. "And look at my face, it's a horrible dull grey and they put this horrible crap on it!"

"Why did you do that Tom?" Kathryn asked.

"She threatened me with her assimilation tubules," Tom said.

"I'd say, five hours Captain for Jessie and one hour for James," the Doctor said.

"I take it four of those hours will be spent trying to sedate her," Tom muttered.

"You take it right," the Doctor replied. He picked up a hypospray and he snuck up to Jessie. She screamed again and she ran over to the medicine tray. "Come here, Crewman, the quicker you're sedated the quicker you'll be better."

"Shut up baldy!" she yelled and she threw a tricorder at him. She picked up a hypospray and she ran out of the room.

"Oh great. Make that six hours," the Doctor said.

"Janeway to Security, Jessie has escaped Sickbay, try to find her, and make sure you're armed," Kathryn said.

"Armed, we're not trying to kill her," the Doctor said.

"The rifles will just be on stun, we need to stop her if she starts attacking crewmembers," Kathryn said.

"I suppose," the Doctor muttered.

"Just get to work on James, your other patient will be here soon," Kathryn said.

Deck Two:
Craig turned a corner and he bumped into a familiar Borg Drone.

"Oh, Jessie, you look different. Have you done something with your hair? Never mind you still look lovely to me," Craig said.

Jessie screamed in rage and she knocked him over. Some security officers appeared and one fired a phaser blast at her. It hit her in her arm. The other officers fired as well but a Borg shield blocked the attack.

"At least there's another advantage to being Borg," Jessie muttered. She pushed the security officers out of the way and she ran around the corner.

Sickbay:
James had woken up, luckily for the crew he wasn't in the same mood as Jessie.

"I don't understand why she would run away. It'll be quicker is she was treated without resistance," Seven said.

"She would never admit it, but she's afraid of medical stuff. Probably the thought of you taking implants out of her scared her," James said.

"Speaking of which, we'll have to start on you," the Doctor said as he held a laser scalpel.

"I can see why she ran away," James stuttered.

"Don't worry, you'll be unconscious when I'm extracting implants from you," the Doctor said.

"But it doesn't decrease the pain," Seven said.

"Seven, we'll have to improve your bedside manner," the Doctor said.

"It doesn't matter anyway, the patient is gone," Tom said.

"Oh for crying out loud," the Doctor exclaimed.

"James, where did you go?" Tom asked. Seven walked up to another bio bed and she looked behind it.

"Here he is," Seven said.

"Damn!" James said and he tried to run away again. Seven grabbed him and she used a hypospray on him. The Doctor walked over to her and he helped her carry him onto the bio bed.

"Lets get this over with," the Doctor said. He started using a laser scalpel on James' facial implants.

The Mess Hall:
"I hear that Jessie's become a Borg and she's running amok on the ship," Kiara said.

"So why are we here as normal, we should be hiding. I don't want to be a Borg," Naomi said.

"She'll not come here, there's too many people here, she'll be caught easily," Neelix said.

"Are you sure. Whenever people say things like that they're always wrong," Naomi said.

"Naomi, don't think such things," Neelix said.

"Security to all hands on Deck Two. Secure your positions, a Borg Drone is on the loose."

"See," Naomi said.

"Computer, seal the doors," Neelix said.

"Unable to comply. The security systems for the Mess Hall have been disabled."

"Naomi, do you ever get sick of being right?" Kiara asked.

"In times like this I wish I was wrong," Naomi muttered. The familiar Borg Drone ran into the room. Neelix went over to her to try and calm her down.

"Stay out of my way hairball, or you'll be assimilated!" she yelled.

Everyone flinched at the word hairball, even Jessie did. She got angry again and she pushed him over. Security rushed into the room. They fiddled with their rifles and they fired. Jessie ducked and the blast hit an innocent crewman.

"That's gotta hurt," Kiara muttered. Jessie got even more angry and she knocked a rifle out of one of security people's hands. She picked it up and she ran out of the room. Security followed her. Naomi ran over to Neelix, he was still conscious.

"Neelix, are you okay?" Naomi asked. He sat up.

"I'll live," Neelix muttered. Seven walked into the room.

"Mr Neelix, have you seen Crewman Rex?" she asked.

"She's just caused some havoc here, she left through that door a minute ago," Neelix said.

"Very well," Seven said. She quickly ran out of the room.

Deck Three (aka the deck that's never mentioned):
Somehow, Damien and a group of rabbits had gotten onto Voyager. They were planning an invasion.

"This time, they won't get away from us, right rabbits?" Damien asked. The rabbits ignored him as usual. He handed out mini guns to them, but they just sniffed them. One of the rabbits tried to eat theirs.

Meanwhile in Marill's house:
"I think I'm going to collapse!" Raichu said as she searched through a drawer in the kitchen. "There must be some paracetemol around here," Raichu muttered. Marill ran in and she dragged Raichu out.

"Are you crazy?" she yelled.

"Ow, my head!" Raichu exclaimed.

"We've got work to do!" Marill yelled.

Back on Deck Three:
Marill and Raichu appeared in front of the rabbit army. Spotlight shined on them. Raichu looked like she was ready to die on the spot. The Team Rocket music started playing.

"To protect Voyager from devastation!" Marill exclaimed. Raichu held her head.

"To protect the crew from evil nations," Raichu said slowly.

"To announce the evils of rabbits and love!" Marill yelled.

"To make our site a more popular one," Raichu said slowly.

"Marill!"

"Raichu."

"Fifth Voyager blasts off at warp speed!" Marill yelled. Raichu sighed as she held her head.

"Surrender to us now or prepare to fight," Raichu moaned.

"I knew you would come. This time I'm ready for you, I brought my indestructible army," Damien said evilly. The pair looked at the group of rabbits.

"Is this the cue to be scared or to laugh out loud?" Marill asked sarcastically.

"Or hint for some aspirin," Raichu moaned.

"You should be scared, and I can tell because of your hesitation you're terrified, bwahahaha!" Damien laughed.

"The only thing I'm terrified about is if those rabbits poo all over the carpet," Marill said.

"Aaaghh! Rabbits!" a voice yelled. Marill and Raichu turned around to see who was yelling. Jessie was coming towards them with a phaser rifle.

"Oh, now you're setting your characters onto me?" Damien asked.

"She should have been captured by now," Marill muttered.

"I should have died by now," Raichu moaned. The rabbits had taken a liking to Jessie and they were jumping up at her. She looked absolutely terrified.

"Get these disgusting things away from me!" Jessie squealed.

"Okay rabbits, you've surrounded her now, now attack!" Damien yelled. The rabbits ignored him. A few of them were rubbing their heads against Jessie's leg.

"How can they like a Borg?" Marill asked.

"What are you doing! You're suppose to be attacking!" Damien yelled.

Jessie couldn't take it any more and she ran back from where she came from. She ran straight into Security. They grabbed her by the arms, she easily got away.

Seven came around the corner. She grabbed Jessie's arms and she used the hypospray on her.

"Oh well, Damien, for once you proved useful," Marill said.

"Rabbits! Attack!" Damien yelled angrily. The rabbits decided to go to sleep.

"Some indestructible army," Raichu moaned.

"Actually they're kinda cute," Marill said.

"Rabbits, wake up!" Damien yelled. All of them did, they looked very angry. "Good, now attack!" Damien yelled. They did, they attacked him. After five minutes of biting and scratching he eventually disappeared.

"All right!" Raichu yelled.

"What?" Marill asked.

"My headache's going away," Raichu said. Marill groaned. She and Raichu disappeared once again.

"Seven Of Nine to Transporter Room. Two to beam directly to Sickbay," Seven said.

Captains Log Stardate 53???.?: The Doctor has finally removed Crewman Rex and Ensign Taylor's implants. He has told me that they will be fit for duty in two days.

Jessie woke up with The Doctor, Seven and James hovering over her. She jumped and then she sat up.

"Keep those things away from me!" she screamed.

"What things?" the Doctor asked.

"Oh thank god, have the rabbits gone?" Jessie asked.

"What rabbits?" James asked.

"Damien and a bunch of rabbits appeared, if it wasn't for those rabbits we never would of caught her," Seven said.

Jessie stared oddly at James. "There's something different about you," she muttered.

"The Doc's removed most of my implants, and my god does it hurt," James muttered.

"Wimp," the Doctor muttered. He picked up a mirror and he handed it to Jessie.

"No, keep it away!" Jessie exclaimed.

"It's okay, Jess, your implants have been removed too," James said. She took the mirror off the Doctor and she had a look. A big grin grew on her face.

"I'm beautiful again!" Jessie exclaimed. She jumped off the bed and she gave James a big hug.

"Thank god for that," the Doctor muttered. He and Seven walked away. Tom and Harry walked in.

"See, what did I tell you," Tom said, as he pointed at Jessie.

"Tom, do me a favour," Harry said.

"What?" Tom asked.

"Shut up," Harry said.

"What are you two doing here?" the Doctor asked.

"Er, to see the patients," Tom muttered.

"He means to skit the patients," Harry said.

"That's more realistic, get out. Don't come back until your next duty shift," the Doctor said.

Tom left Sickbay in a huff. Seven walked over to James and Jessie.

"Crewman, why were you so afraid of those creatures, I find it hard to understand," Seven asked.

"Jessie used to have a rabbit when she was six but it bit her. She's been afraid of them ever since," James said.

"Then how come you weren't scared when you reprogrammed Mr Paris' holodeck program?" Seven asked.

"What are you talking about?" Jessie asked.

"I saw you, James and Kiara reprogramming one of Mr Paris' programs. I checked what you done, you programmed a bunch of aliens called the rabbits," Seven said.

"So you three are the ones who's doing it," Harry said.

"Whatever you do, don't tell anyone. Besides, the Captain told us to fiddle with his programs," James said.

"That doesn't sound like her," Harry said.

"Well why don't you ask her then," Jessie said. Harry grinned and he walked out of the room. Seven also left. The Doctor went to his office. Jessie looked at her hand.

"Why are these things still on my hand?" Jessie asked.

"Oh, the Doctor can't remove them," James said.

"But it spoils my looks. Who would want to go out with girl who has assimilation tubules on her hand?" Jessie asked angrily.

"I would," James said quietly.

"Me too," a voice said.

"Ohno, it's not," Jessie muttered. Craig jumped up from behind a console.

"If he doesn't want ya, I'll have you. I've got this special program..." Craig said. The Doctor came out of his office and he pushed Craig out of the door.

"No flirting in Sickbay," the Doctor said angrily and he went back into his office. James started to leave the room. Jessie grabbed his arm and she pulled him backwards.

"What did you mean by, you would?" Jessie asked.

"Huh?" James said.

"I said who would want to go out with a girl who has assimilation tubules on her hand and you said you would," Jessie said.

"Uhoh, I gotta go," James said quickly and he ran out of the room. Tom poked his head through the door.

"Jessie's got a boyfriend, Jessie's got a boyfriend!" he chanted.

She walked over to the door and she pressed the close button. It closed with his head still in the door. His head was stuck. Jessie walked over to him.

"Oh, great, a punch bag," Jessie said.

"Uhoh," Tom muttered.

****THE END****

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