Episode Synopsis
Kiara, Jessie & James reprogram another one of Tom's holographic masterpieces for revenge.

Guest Stars
Marill as herself
Firera as herself
Raichu as herself
Martha Hackett as Seska

Written By
Marill & Firera

Written
18th February 2001

Edited
30th November 2003

Episode Based In
October 2374 (late season 5)

The Mess Hall:
It was another Talent Night, Tom was presenting it this month. Everyone was cheering and clapping at a crewmember who had just finished singing and dancing.

"Okay, who says that we should get Chakotay up here today!" Tom yelled.

"Stuff you, Paris," Chakotay muttered.

"Oh c'mon, Commander, for me," Tom said.

"I wouldn't even do it for the Captain if she ordered me to," Chakotay muttered.

"Oh fine, Jessie, James, is your performance ready?" Tom asked.

"No chance," James muttered as he fiddled with his PADD.

"Oh damn, nobody else has volunteered today. Hey Jess why don't you do a little dance for us," Tom said.

"How about making your teeth disappear, it's a real talent of mine," Jessie said.

"Er, never mind," Tom stuttered. Harry walked up to Tom.

"If that's all for today, I would like to make an announcement," Harry said.

"Ohno, it better not be another cheesy Irish Holoprogram," B'Elanna muttered.

"Er isn't this episode based in early season five?" Marill's voice asked.

"Yeah, so?" Firera's voice asked.

"Fair Haven wasn't until season six," Marill's voice said.

"I'm using the same excuse as you use, this is the Fifth dimension it's not meant to be the same as original Voyager. Harry and Tom built Fair Haven in this season," Firera's voice said.

"We can't keep getting away with that excuse," Marill's voice said.

"No, it's that program that you found two years ago, you know the Marquis mutiny one. Tom and I finally wrote our own version of it," Harry said. A lot of people cheered.

"Yeah, instead of Seska being one of the nastiest villains, we've programmed Jessie to be the most evil person in the program," Tom said. Jessie growled at him.

"It's under Insurrection Beta," Harry said. Kiara put her hand up.

"Yes, Kiara," Tom said.

"I don't like the idea of your crummy program, you suck!" Kiara said.

"You don't mean it," Tom said.

"I do! Even I could make a better program than you," Kiara said.

"You go girl," Jessie said.

"No you couldn't, you're only a little brat," Tom said. Kiara ran out of the room crying. Naomi followed her.

"TOM!" Chakotay yelled.

"Uhoh!" Tom said and he ran out of the room.

"Don't worry Commander, the Tom exterminator is on the move," Jessie said and she followed him. James shook his head and he slowly followed, Chakotay behind him. Everyone rushed out of the room as well.

"That's all for today, folks," Harry said to an empty room.

The Ready Room:
"When did this ship become a battlezone?" Kathryn asked as she read the PADD. Kiara was still crying, on the sofa.

"Ever since Fifth Voyager started, those writers think it's more fun if Jessie beats up Tom now," Chakotay replied.

"I know, she doesnt like him," Kathryn muttered.

"Right now I don't, what duty should we put him on this time?" Chakotay asked.

"None, I think somebody should finally beat him at his own game. Kiara," Kathryn said.

Kiara walked up to the desk still crying. "How would you like to make your own holoprogram?" Kathryn asked.

"YEY! I'd luv to, can I write one about Voyager too?" Kiara asked.

"You wouldn't be able to get Tom back if you didn't," Kathryn said.

"YEY! I'll go now!" Kiara exclaimed.

"Wait, Tom was right about one thing, you're too young to make your own," Chakotay said.

"She won't need to start one from scratch, she'll be using Tom's program to help her," Kathryn said.

"What's your plan?" Chakotay asked.

"Has anyone been in his program yet?" Kathryn asked.

"No, he just announced it ten minutes ago," Chakotay replied.

"If Kiara reprograms it, then..." Kathryn said.

"I get it, I'll totally show him up! Hehehe! Can I do what I want with it?" Kiara asked.

"Yeah, but you'll need help. He'll have that program encrypted. Chakotay which member of your old crew is the best at cracking codes?" Kathryn asked.

"It would have to be James, though Jessie is a bit more sneaky," Chakotay replied.

"Jessie is the one who keeps attacking Tom now, she'll take this little holo reprogramming thing a little to far," Kathryn said.

"Don't worry, I'm sure James will be able to stop her from doing anything too stupid," Chakotay said.

"Okay then, Kiara how would you like to work with them?" Kathryn asked.

"They seem quite nice and they did save my life once, okay," Kiara replied.

"Good girl, have fun," Kathryn said.

"I will," Kiara said and she ran out of the room.

"You surprised me, I never thought you would punish a crewman by making a one year old girl embarrass them," Chakotay said.

"Lets just say, it's the only way to get through to Tom, and quite frankly he deserves it," Kathryn said.

James and Jessie's Quarters:
Jessie walked in to the quarters. She went to knock on James' door but it was already open. She nearly fainted, he was cleaning up the Mess (with a capital letter).

"What are you trying to do, kill me?" Jessie said.

"No, I thought that I could tidy my room once a week just like my step father used to force me to do," James said.

"Who told you to do that?" Jessie asked.

"No one, the Mess was turning into an accident waiting to happen," James said.

"Well it's about time you cleaned it up, anyway Kiara's coming over. She said that she's got an idea on how to get Tom back," Jessie said.

"Whatever," James muttered. Jessie walked back out of the room, still in shock. The door chimed.

"Come in," Jessie said. Kiara walked in with a big grin on her face. "Gee, it must be a good plan, c'mon spill it," Jessie said.

"Remember when I said I could make a better program than Tom's yesterday?" Kiara asked.

"Yeah, that's when Chakotay yelled at him for calling you a brat," James said as he stepped out of his room.

"Well my mum told me to make one, out of Tom's program itself," Kiara said.

"You mean reprogram his?" Jessie asked.

"Yeah," Kiara said.

"It'll show him up all right, wait your mother told you to do this?" James said.

"Yeah, even she's getting sick of his stupid programs," Kiara said.

"Well at least we won't get wrong for it," James said.

"What are you going to do to it?" Jessie asked. Kiara whispered a bunch of stuff in her ear.

"C'mon, what did she say?" James asked frantically.

"All you've got to know is that this is going to be fun," Jessie said happily.

The next day, The Mess Hall:
Craig and Harry walked into the room laughing their heads off. Tom walked up to them.

"What's so funny, guys?" he asked.

"So that's that secret thing you were going to do to that program, huh Tom! It's really funny!" Harry laughed.

"Yeah, Jessie really looks like an evil villain," Tom laughed.

"What's he talking about?" Craig asked.

"Er...Tom you already told me that part. I'm talking about that secret bit you were planning," Harry said.

"Oh the aliens in the program, yeah they're pretty scary aren't they?" Tom asked.

"Aliens, you call them aliens!" Craig laughed and he and Harry walked away from a puzzled Tom. Meanwhile Jessie, James and Kiara were laughing at the scene they witnessed.

"What did you put instead of those aliens, Kiara?" James asked.

"Teletubbies," Kiara replied.

"Hey that is still scary," Jessie joked.

"So have you got anymore adjusting to do?" James asked.

"Of course, we've got the best part coming up," Kiara said as she opened her bag. She pulled out a data PADD. Jessie and James peered at it. It was a picture of a video cover and some information on the film.

"I've seen that film, it's perfect," Jessie said.

"Cool, when do you want to do it?" James asked.

"Tonight, ten people have made reservations to go into the program tomorrow," Jessie replied.

"God, Tom will have a ball when those people tell the rest of the crew about the program," James laughed.

"Yeah, and Tom said that I couldn't make a holoprogram?" Kiara giggled.

Holodeck Two, the next morning:
B'Elanna walked out of the holodeck in tears. The program was the best one she had ever been in. It was like a proper film she thought. Tom had really outdone himself this time. She bumped into Craig.

"Oh, hi B'Elanna," Craig said.

"Are you going in that new program?" B'Elanna asked.

"Yeah, James told me that Tom's changed it again," Craig said.

"He certainly has, it's great, it's like a love story and an adventure all in one," B'Elanna said.

"Cool, I'm in," Craig said and he walked into the holodeck. James and Jessie were watching from around the corner. B'Elanna walked down the corridor and she turned another corner.

"Cool, it worked, Jess, she'll tell the whole senior staff about 'Toms' Program," James said.

"I can't wait to see everyone's faces, Tom will be the laughing stock of the whole ship," Jessie laughed.

Inside the holodeck, one hour later:
"No, Seska. She's right," Jessie said. She and James walked over to the Captain and Chakotay's side where the Starfleet people were.

"Enough," James said. The Marquis looked shocked and they started to discuss it.

"If you are part of their group, then you'll die as well," Seska said evilly. The rest of the Marquis and Craig walked away from her side of the upper deck of Engineering and they joined Jessie and the rest of the Federation officers. "Where are you going, get back here!" Seska yelled.

"Let it go Seska, it's time to put the past behind us," Chakotay said.

"I'll never let it go," Seska said. The ship shook. The mini viewscreen activated and to everyone's amusement the teletubbies were on it.

"We are the Teletubbie collective, surrender or you will fall at the hands of the baby sun," all of the teletubbie's said. The baby sun above them just giggled, as usual.

"It's worse than we thought! I'm scared!" Tom screamed. Everyone laughed at him including Seska, even Tuvok laughed.

Suddenly the Teletubbie ship blew up when another ship attacked them. The viewscreen changed to show a group of rabbits.

"We are the rabbits, bwhahahaha! We will destroy you!" a stupid voice laughed. The rabbits had machine guns and grenades in their hands. Everyone laughed again and Tom screamed.

"I want my mummy!" he screamed.

"Oh this is getting tiring," Seska said. She pressed some controls on the console and the rabbit ship blew up. The explosion was too close to Voyager and the shockwave hit them violently. A plasma fire started at the base of the warp core.

"I still have control of Voyager, and there's nothing you can do about it," Seska said evilly and she raised her weapon at the Starfleet officers. "Chakotay, if I still didn't love you I would kill you, so I'll do what I've always wanted to do...kill that wimpy Jessie," Seska laughed.

She got ready to fire when James quickly ran up to her and tried to take the rifle of her. The struggle caused them to fall over the balcony. They both grabbed a hold of the glass. Seska was slipping but James was lucky enough to climb back onto the balcony. Everyone ran up to the balcony edge.

James held out his hand to Seska. "C'mon Seska, give me your hand, we'll help you," he said. She tried to hit him with the rifle but it just caused her to lose her grip and she fell into the plasma fire.

"If we don't stop that fire it'll destroy the ship," Kathryn said. Craig decided to do something in the program so he ran over to the console. The fire went out.

"Good job, James, crewman," Chakotay said.

"Thanks Commander," Craig said happily. Everyone cheered.

The narrator started talking again. The narrator being that old monkey that's in both Lion King films, who always seems to be on drugs.

"The Marquis and Starfleet officers finally sorted out their differences thanks to their great leaders. As the song goes, We Are One. Nah that's not my song so it's crap, my song is Upendi. Welcome to Upendi! Heheheheheheheeeeeeeeeeee!" the monkey, Rafiki, yelled. Somebody picked up Seska's rifle and he shot the monkey. Everyone cheered.

"THE END," the computers voice said.

Engineering disappeared and the hologrid replaced it. Craig walked out of the program.

The Conference Room, the next day:
All of the senior staff were in their seats. Since Kiara, Triah and Craig were now main characters... er I mean senior staff, more chairs had been put in the room. Everyone kept smirking when they looked at Tom.

"As we all know, Tom has made this, brilliant, program about a Marquis mutiny, quite a few people have used it and the news about what happens in it has been spread throughout the ship. Congratulations Tom," Kathryn said as she tried to keep a straight face.

"Thanks Captain, due to the success of the last one I request that we do another talent night this month," Tom said, unaware that James and Jessie were giggling uncontrollably at him.

"Granted," Kathryn said.

"Er, Captain I need help with my new holoprogram, it's about a poor family winning a lot of money but it makes them rich snobs. I was wondering who could help me with it," Harry said.

"If that is all, everyone is dismissed," Kathryn said. Everyone stood up and they walked out. Craig stopped Tom.

"Hey nice program, it's hard to believe that you programmed it," Craig said.

"What do you mean?" Tom asked.

"You're really funny when the teletubbies and rabbits attacked, you were like a little kid," Craig laughed and he walked away. Tom looked puzzled and he started to walk though the Bridge. Everyone was smirking at him, especially Jessie and James. Tom knew something was going on.

Holodeck 2:
"Computer, describe the synopsis of Insurrection Beta," Tom said.

"Insurrection One: The Lion King 2 Crossover. The Marquis of USS Voyager mutiny against Captain Janeway. Commander Chakotay objects to it so he decides to persuade his old Marquis friends, B'Elanna, Craig, Jessie and James to come to their senses. Meanwhile Voyager gets countless attacks from aliens called the Teletubbies, The Rabbits and The Pokémon. A sequel will be planned for this story, it's called Insurrection Two: The Jerry Springer Show," the computer voice said.

"Who has tampered with the program parameters," Tom said angrily.

"Cannot comply, that information has been restricted," the computers voice said.

The Ready Room:
"Captain, someone has been tampering with my holoprogram," Tom said.

"And..." Kathryn asked.

"And I want to know who did it," Tom said.

"How did you find out?" Kathryn asked.

"Huh? You knew?" Tom asked.

"How did you find out?" Kathryn repeated.

"Craig told me that there was teletubbies and rabbits in it, I know I didn't program that," Tom said.

"You're right, Tom, someone has been tampering with your program, and they have done a very good job of it. The whole crew knows about the program and most of them have been in it and best of all they think you've programmed it. Let this be a lesson to you, dismissed," Kathryn said.

"But Captain?" Tom asked.

"What?" Kathryn asked.

"You didn't do it did you?" Tom asked.

"No, lets just say that I told three people to do it and I didn't have to order them to do it. Dismissed," Kathryn said.

Tom looked gob smacked as he left the room. Everyone saw his face and they laughed at him. As soon as he left the Bridge everyone stopped laughing. Jessie, James and Kiara hi-fived each other.

"Another job well done," Jessie said.

"Are we actually going to make that sequel?" Kiara asked.

"Why not, we can put Tom's name on that too," James said.

"What aliens should we put in that one?" Kiara asked.

"Digimon, Tweenies and... Banana's In Pyjamas. We could also have the return of the Teletubbies," Jessie replied.

All three of them laughed as Tom still tried to figure out who reprogrammed his holonovel.

****THE END****

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