Last time on B4 Fifth Voyager
Tuvok was now awake and he was sitting on the biobed, sniggering in an evil fashion. "Soon these people's energy shall be ours."

"We found a very interesting nebula so we went to take a look. Then an alien ship attacked us. The shuttle started leaking some gas, Chakotay blacked out straight away but I managed to set the auto pilot," Tuvok replied.

"We're going back to that nebula to find the ship that attacked you," Kathryn said.

"Excellent.. er I mean very logical Captain," Tuvok said.

**
"So what did it say?" Ian asked.

"It just said that we're not having the last word and it's coming," Jessie replied.

**
"Don't worry about me, I'm strong and I'm not going to be beaten by that deceitful little b***ard," Darren said.

"I'm sorry but if it was me I'd kill that pervert for betraying you," Gwen said.

**
"Ok, that's enough. They didn't have a grudge on us so they wouldn't leave us a message like that," Danny said.

"I know, they only had a grudges on the lads. So it was probably for them," Jessie said.

"Why, what did they do?" Kes asked.

"Nothing. Ian just joined what those two called the wrong side. James did join after Gwen, the girl, told him not to. So they got revenge on him and spread a dirty rumour about him. He didn't mind though," Danny replied.

"What was the rumour?" Kes asked.

"That he was looking at Gwen in a certain place when she was talking to him. A lot of people called him a pervert, but because of the nature of the rumour James preferred being called that to being called gay all the time," Jessie replied.

**
"Knowing them, they're probably up to their usual sly tricks. Problem is this ship craves rumours, this is the perfect place to spread them," Jessie replied.

"Ok, what are you up to this time?" Jessie asked.

"Don't speak to me like that!" Gwen exclaimed.

"Why are you so cruel to Darren anyway, he's done nothing wrong!" Gwen yelled.

"Gwen, you need to see a psychiatrist. You're too busy sucking up to your boyfriend that you don't realise that he's actually not doing anything good. We haven't talked to you, or about you ever since the college years," Jessie said.

"No, I don't even understand why you are still with him. He does nothing but insult you and control you, what makes you think he's so innocent, huh?" Jessie said angrily.

"He hasn't done anything wrong! Don't pretend all those insults you said behind his back don't exist, cos they do! I know what he's really like, he's sweet, funny and considerate!" Gwen yelled. Both Jessie and James burst out laughing. "I know what it is, you're jealous of us. You want my boyfriend cos yours is a pervert who looks at other girls breasts!"

"Gwen, you and your so called sweet boyfriend are the ones that stir up trouble. You can't seem to let anything go, so just clear off!" Jessie yelled back.

"Fine, you haven't seen the last of me! And one more thing, I may not be big, you know what I mean, but at least mine aren't so big that I can't even see my own feet!" Gwen screamed.

Jessie growled, she lunged forward but James held her back the best he could. Gwen smiled evilly, "is that the reason why you go out with her pervert?"

"You know, on second thoughts," James muttered. He let go of Jessie, and she jumped onto Gwen and started beating her up. 

**
"You know this is deja vu. This girl did nothing but cause fights around the whole college with her stupid rumours and stories because people believed her. How does she do it? She is a master of mind games, she gets people talking and then fighting. Just forget it ok," Danny said.

"Yeah you're right. She always has a talent for showing up when we're talking about her like she knows," Jessie said.

Danny looked confused, she turned around and she saw Gwen standing behind her.

"I have many talents, I didn't even have to try to get you and James to have a fight," Gwen said smugly.

"Oh please, those two do nothing but fight," Danny said. Jessie glared at her. "Oops, see she's doing it again!"

**
"According to Foster, Jessie's been telling everyone that Ian got beaten up at college by a guy that dumped Danny after sleeping with her," Lisa, who was standing nearby, was saying to Craig.

"Oh my god... James and Jessie have been telling everyone our secrets!" Danny exclaimed.

Ian pulled Danny to one side, "Danny, don't be stupid. This is obviously a rumour Darren or Gwen have made up."

"Really? How come Lisa knows about my boyfriend dumping me, how come she knows about your date?" Danny asked.

**
"Really? I thought we both knew each other enough to know that we don't like each other just because of what we both look like. If that was the case you'd hate me," James said.

Jessie sighed, "all right, I'm sorry. I guess Danny's right, we do do nothing but argue."

"No we don't, we argue a lot but not all the time," James said.

**
"Really, how come Lisa said that you guys had been saying these things?" Danny asked.

"Oh god.. don't you see what's going on? This is Gwen and Darren's doings, obviously," Jessie replied.

"If that's the case how do they know about these things?" Ian asked.

"Friends don't betray each other like that," James said.

"Then how do people know!" Danny yelled.

"Well Gwen or Darren might of overheard us talking at college. If you remember they always knew too much and no one knew how. I think it's more realistic that they told everyone than us doing it," James replied.

"Oh my god.. you're right. You guys are my best friends, why did I accuse you first. I'm sorry," Danny said.

"It's ok, friends forgive each other, right Jess?" James said.

**
"That's typical. You call friendship crap, I knew it. You hate everyone because they have it better than you," James said.

"Don't be stupid, I'm smarter than everyone. I am more important than you puny people, I don't see why I have to put up with this," Darren said.

"Oh yeah, does your so called intelligence get you all the friends you so obviously need?" Ian asked.

"Oh come on, would he have even done this if he'd known that we would trust our friends over some stupid rumour?" Danny asked.

"That's enough, I don't want to hear anymore!" Gwen cried. She pulled out a remote, she pressed a button and she beamed away.

"Don't worry, she'll get a good talking to," Darren said slyly. He disappeared too.

"You know they were right about you, I'm going to stop cheating on my husband and get a third wedding!" Gwen exclaimed. She stormed into the next room.

"Oh well, I'll just get another dumb blonde," Darren muttered.

**
"You know I've got an idea. Why don't we make a group promise right here right now. Friends forever?" Danny said as she held out her hand in the middle of the table.

"Friends forever," James, Jessie and Ian said as they placed their hands over Danny's. They all glanced at Kes, she smiled and she put her hand on Jessie's. 

And now the conclusion
The FVDA ship:
Damien, Rick, Brannon, Myleene, Johnny, Johnny Junior, Nelly, Kelly, Osama and Saddam were all sitting at a conference table in the middle of Engineering.

"We really should get a conference room," Brannon muttered.

"Stop moaning, now has anyone got a plan to get Voyager?" Rick asked.

"We could play Nelly and Kelly's song throughout the ship," Damien sniggered.

"That's actually a good idea, it could boost sales and we can stay at Number 1 for another week," Kelly said.

"Wait a minute, how would our song get Voyager back?" Nelly asked.

"Easy.. everyone would be rolling around on the floor in agony screaming 'make it stop!'" Damien replied. Kelly smacked him in the back of the head.

"Oh come on Damien everyone knows that all we'd have to do is get Myleene to sing her debut single now to get that result," Brannon said.

"Hey! I haven't even sang it yet!" Myleene exclaimed.

"Good good, then we don't have a date for the end of the universe yet," Rick said. Myleene pouted.

"Ok, playing an awful song could be Plan B, right?" Brannon said questioningly.

"Right, but what is Plan A going to be?"

"I have an idea!" Osama yelled.

"Um, does anyone else have an idea?" Rick asked nervously.

"Ooh, me me!" Osama exclaimed while waving his arm back and forth.

"Oh well I guess Myleene's not going to be the cause the destruction of the universe," Brannon said. Everyone but Osama and Saddam nodded in agreement.

Later:
"Uhoh," Harry muttered.

"Uhoh?" Kathryn said questioningly.

"It's the moment we've been dreading ever since the series began," Harry said.

"No! It's too early for Seven to join the cast!" Tom exclaimed.

"Ok, maybe it's not that bad. There's a temporal anomaly right in front of us," Harry said.

"Noooooooo, a time episode!" Kathryn screamed.

"Tom, get us away quickly," Chakotay ordered.

"Already doing so, damn it the controls aren't working!" Tom exclaimed.

"There's something coming out of it," Harry said.

"Here we go, may god have mercy on us all," Kathryn said.

On the viewscreen a Federation ship emerged, not long afterwards another Voyager flew out.

"Oh crap, I don't like the look of this," Chakotay muttered.

"I do, there's another Federation ship.. we must get home in the future," Harry said. Everyone groaned.

"Captain the anomaly has just closed!" Tom exclaimed.

"We're being hailed," Tuvok said.

"No we can't answer them, that would be breaking the temporal prime directive," Kathryn said shaking like mad.

"Well the other Janeway will know that and she's hailing us.." Harry said.

"That'll do, on screen," Kathryn ordered.

The viewscreen changed to show the Voyager Bridge, Kathryn, Chakotay, Claire, Ian and Harry were all present.

"I'm sorry Kathryn for the intrusion, but don't worry we can sort this mess out very easily," the future Kathryn said.

"How easily?" Chakotay asked.

"Easy but not so easy that it doesn't just take up a mere few scenes," Kathryn 2 replied.

"Ohno, then this is definitely a time episode," Kathryn said.

"Yep, we're used to them," Claire 2 said.

"I don't like the sound of that," Tom muttered.

Ian 2 looked up from his console and he screamed like a girl. "Oh my god, I forgot how bad Janeway's hair was back then!"

Kathryn put her hands on her hips, "how dare you!"

"Um, just for safety I have a few questions. 1, how far in the future are you from? 2, why is there another ship with you?" Chakotay asked.

"Normally I wouldn't even think about telling the past about our present, but when we go back time will go back to normal and you won't remember this incident," Kathryn 2 replied.

"Cool, you're going to answer then?" Tom asked.

"Well duh!" Claire 2 muttered.

"If our calculations are right we've travelled over seven years into the past," Harry 2 replied.

"The other ship is the Enterprise E, it's a long story of why it is with us so we'll just tell it in a scene that doesn't exist," Chakotay 2 said.

"So how do you plan to fix this?" Harry asked.

"Come aboard our Voyager and we'll explain it to you," Kathryn 2 replied.

Future Voyager, the Conference Room:
Craig 2 and Foster 2 came into the room, right behind them were Kathryn and Tuvok. They both sat down opposite Kathryn 2, Chakotay 2, Tom 2 and a teenaged girl. Craig 2 and Foster 2 both left the room.

"It's really good to see you again, Tuvok," Kathryn 2 said.

"Excuse me, Captain?" Tuvok said questioningly.

"Kathryn we really shouldn't get into that," Chakotay 2 whispered. Kathryn 2 nodded, she turned to the girl.

"Lena, tell them the plan," Kathryn 2 said.

The girl stood up, she went over to the side panel. She fiddled with it, a picture of the anomaly came up. "Ok, this is the anomaly we encountered in our time. This kind of anomaly can't be reopened in the same position for at least a week. But if we find another spot we could open a new one now."

"But the catch is that since it's a different position there's a high chance that we'll end up in the wrong time," Tom 2 said.

"And you're saying that as soon as you go back to your time we won't remember a thing about this?" Kathryn asked.

"Well all except me and Tani," Lena replied.

"Who.. what?" Kathryn said questioningly.

"Me and Tani have temporal implants inside us that keep us unaffected in any space time. No matter what kind of temporal thing happens, we remember it and we don't fit into it, if you know what I mean," Lena said.

"So you and the other girl will remember all of this?" Tuvok asked.

"That's what I said, god," Lena muttered.

"Ok getting back to the plan, all that we can do is open another anomaly a few thousand kilometres away from the original," Kathryn 2 said.

"How are you going to do that?" Kathryn asked.

"Oh don't worry about that, we've had experience with anomalies too," Chakotay 2 replied.

"The future sounds bad already," Kathryn muttered.

"Oh believe me it isn't as bad as you think, there is lots more coffee since there's two ships," Kathryn 2 said.

"Coffee?" Kathryn said questioningly, almost drooling at the same time. Everyone else groaned, including Tuvok.

"Let's just leave them to it," Chakotay muttered. Everyone rushed out of the room leaving the two Kathryn's chatting about coffee.

Later, Kathryn's Ready Room:
Both Kathryn's were sitting on the sofa, as hyper as can be of course, next to dozens of coffee cups. The door chimed. "Come in!" Kathryn yelled.

Harry and James stepped into the room, they both stopped very suddenly. "Oh god.." Harry stuttered.

"Harry!" Kathryn screamed.

"Jamesy!" Kathryn 2 yelled.

"RUN!" James yelled, he and Harry ran out of the room with both Kathryn's in hot pursuit.

Everyone on the Bridge looked worried as both Kathryn's ran into the other turbolift giggling like crazies. "Sooo, in seven years Janeway will still be a coffee nut who seems to be in love with Harry and James," Claire muttered.

"Uh huh," everyone muttered.

Meanwhile:
Tom was standing outside one of the Holodecks, he stopped Lee. "Go in there, supposedly two hyper Janeway's are coming."

"Oh god!" Lee exclaimed, he ran inside.

Harry and James ran down the corridor, Tom stepped in their way but none of the stopped. Harry ran straight into him, knocking them both to the ground. James just continued down the corridor.

"Wait, I've made the Holodeck into a hiding place!" Tom yelled.

James ran back and went inside. Harry jumped onto his feet and he followed. Tom pulled himself to his feet smiling smugly. He then saw both Kathryn's running towards him. "TOMMY!" both of them screamed.

"Aw s***!" Tom screeched. He ran into the Holodeck and sealed the doors.

All of the guys Tom had invited into the Holodeck were all standing nearby looking gobsmacked and or scared, take your pick. Tom grinned like a Cheshire cat. "What do you think of my holodeck program?"

"Tom.. why do you have a strip club?" Harry asked.

"I thought it was a good place for everyone to hide from Janeway," Tom replied.

"I'm scared," Lee stuttered.

"Why am I not surprised gay boy,"  Ian said, who was obviously enjoying the view.

"I'm not gay, I'm perfectly straight. Can I go now?" Lee asked.

"Don't be nasty Ian, he's only a kid after all," Tom said. He went over to a console and he beamed Lee away.

"Oh there's an escape," James said, he won't over to the console and beamed away too.

"Ok, Lee has an excuse, he's too young... but James? He must be gay," an unknown crewmember said.

"Actually that's a good excuse, can I go?" Craig asked.

"You gay? Hahahahahaha," Tom laughed. Everyone else laughed with him. "Seriously you are too young to be here." Tom beamed Craig out.

Later:
"You what?" Danny snapped.

"I was tricked into going into a strip club, what's your problem?" Ian asked.

"There's some sick people on this ship," Danny muttered.

"Let me guess, I'm one of them," Ian said.

"Yep you are, only three guys out of the ten left, you weren't one of the three," Danny said.

"Lee and Craig are underage, I'm not underage," Ian said.

"James isn't and he left," Danny said.

"Yes well he's got a girlfriend, I haven't.." Ian said.

"No wonder, you just think girls are just objects that are just there to stare at," Danny said.

"No I don't, those ones in the holodeck weren't real, they're holograms who are paid for what they do," Ian said.

"That's just not the point..." Danny muttered.

"Stop saying just so much! Learn your grammar!" Ian yelled.

"Don't ever go to a strip club again!" Danny yelled back.

"Why do you even care?" Ian asked angrily.

"I have no idea, I just do!" Danny yelled.

Just then Danny 2 and Ian 2 came along the corridor with two toddlers behind them. Danny and Ian spotted them, they both stared at each other before fainting on the spot.

Meanwhile:
James and Jessie were passing the turbolift just when it's doors opened. "Ah there you are Jamesy poo!" Kathryn yelled.

"Ohno, not again," James muttered.

"Less talk, more running," Jessie said quietly. She and James ran for their lives, both Kathryn's ran after them. They eventually got to another turbolift, they ran in. The doors just closed when the Kathryn's were just two metres away.

"Phew, that was a close one," James muttered.

"Yeah.. I thought one was bad," Jessie said as she caught her breath.

The turbolift doors opened again, the pair froze in their place as they did. No it wasn't because the Kathryn's were there, no...

"Oh my god, did I really used to look like that?" James 2 asked.

"Could this day get any worse," James groaned and he turned away. James 2 and Jessie 2 stepped into the turbolift.

"Soo, where are you headed?" Jessie 2 asked.

"You're from the future, you tell us," Jessie replied.

"Um.. this didn't happen to us," Jessie 2 said.

"Fine.. Mess Hall," Jessie said.

"We're going there too, to um.. meet someone," Jessie 2 said nervously.

"Meet who?" James asked.

"To be frank, you don't want to know," James 2 replied.

"Oh I get it, you're meeting boyfriends, girlfriends.. right?" Jessie said questioningly.

"Sort of, you obviously get the point," James 2 said.

"Sort of? Um, what else am I missing?" Jessie asked.

"Like James said, you don't want to know," Jessie 2 replied.

The turbolift stopped, the doors opened and the four stepped out. As soon as they did a young boy came running up to them holding a really young baby. "I just saw two Neelix's, really freaky," the boy said in a panicky voice. His eyes widened when he saw the present Jessie and James. "Bloody hell..."

"Bloody hell to you too," Jessie muttered.

"You know this kid?" James asked.

Jessie 2 and James 2 laughed nervously. "You could say that yeah," Jessie 2 replied.

"He and the baby are who we were meeting," James 2 said.

"Aah, babysitting.. who's kids are they?" Jessie asked.

Jessie 2 knelt down and picked up the baby, she stood back up again. "We're not babysitting them, that's all I can say."

"Oh my god...." James muttered.

"They belong to one of us, oh crap.. they're James' aren't they," Jessie said quickly.

"Yes they are, but.." Jessie 2 said.

"Jessie I think they're both ours," James said quietly.

Jessie's eyes widened, "oh dear god."

"I told you you didn't want to know," James 2 said.

"But.. but how? I mean, he's the reason why I was put off having kids," Jessie stuttered.

"You're not put off permanently, you work out that there's nothing to be afraid of, and then you know.." Jessie 2 said.

"No I don't want to know," Jessie said and she ran off down the corridor.

"Just wondering but.. when does this all happen?" James asked nervously.

"What's the point? You won't remember this," James 2 replied.

"Just give it another year," Jessie 2 said.

"Jessie!?" James 2 exclaimed.

"What? It's not going to do any harm is it?" Jessie 2 said.

"You know, I think I'd better go after Jessie," James said.

"Nah.. I wouldn't like it if it was me," Jessie 2 said.

"It is you," James 2 muttered.

"Whatever.." Jessie 2 said.

Meanwhile in Engineering:
Tom, Harry, Lee, Craig, three girls and two other lads were all passing a basketball around the core. The older blonde girl threw the ball away from everyone, B'Elanna caught it.

"Nikki, why did you do that?" one of the lads asked angrily.

"I thought we were suppose to get the ball away from everyone," the girl, Nikki replied.

B'Elanna stormed over to the players. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

One of the lads went over to her, "hey, how you doing?"

B'Elanna laughed then she turned serious, "not very well. Tell me what you lot think you're doing."

"Playing basketball," Tom replied.

"This is so unbelievable. how could you in my Engineering and not invite me to join in!" B'Elanna exclaimed.

"Um, would you like to join in. I'm sure Kevin will like that," Harry asked.

"Oh yeah," the lad said in a flirty voice. B'Elanna laughed again then she turned serious.

"How does he do that?" B'Elanna asked angrily.

Tom shrugged, "I dunno."

"What would happen if the ball hit someone in the head?" the other blonde girl asked.

"They'd get hurt," Harry said.

"No, don't say that!" the other lad exclaimed.

"Cool, pass it here!" the blonde girl yelled.

"Why not Bryan?" Tom asked as B'Elanna passed the ball to him.

"Cos Yasmin is a psycho," the lad, Bryan replied. The blonde girl smiled innocently.

"It's always the cute ones," Harry muttered.

Later:
"Sandi, stop throwing the ball so hard!" Tom yelled as he held his head.

"I'm not throwing it hard," the last remaining unnamed girl said.

"It feels hard," Tom moaned.

Yasmin and Nikki glanced at each other, they giggled. Yasmin threw the ball towards Tom. It hit him right where it hurts. He collapsed onto the floor in agony.

"This is exactly why guys should never play sports," B'Elanna said as the ball rolled over to her. The remaining lads backed away from her looking really worried.

Nikki went over to where Tom was lying, she knelt down beside him. "I'm a nurse you know, I'll treat you."

"Noo thanks," Tom squeaked.

Kes strolled into the room like she was looking for something. She spotted Tom and the others, she rushed over. "I guess I'm too late, I heard there was a dangerous game going on."

"It isn't a dangerous game, that girl's just dangerous," Bryan said. Yasmin giggled.

Kes injected Tom with some painkillers and she stood up. "That should deal with the pain, that's all I can do for you."

Kevin went up to Kes, "never mind him.. how you doing?"

Kes giggled, "I'm fine thanks."

"Oh god, is there any girl that doesn't fall for that?" Harry asked.

"So, what are you doing tonight?" Kevin asked.

"Working, why?" Kes replied.

"Oh ok, never mind," Kevin said. He went over to Nikki. "How you doing?"

Nikki giggled, "do you want to be the next to go in my cupboard?"

Harry and B'Elanna looked like they were going to throw up. "No wonder this is a 12," Harry muttered.

"It's not what you think," Bryan whispered to them.

"All right, it's not a usual first date, but ok!" Kevin replied. He and Nikki left the room.

"She just locks guys in her cupboard to examine their personality and all that kind of crap. I've been in there," Bryan said.

Tom finally managed to pull himself to his feet, "can I just say for the record that the future cast are strange."

"I'm not, I'm the only normal one," Bryan said.

"What about me?" Sandi asked.

"Oh yeah, her too.." Bryan replied.

"Bryan, you're not normal.. you're actually two years old," Yasmin said.

"No, I'm nearly two!" Bryan exclaimed.

"Oookay," Harry muttered.

"And he's also Tom and B'Elanna's son," Yasmin giggled.

Tom and B'Elanna glanced at each other. "Oh, no way!" B'Elanna yelled.

"Yasmin, you weren't suppose to tell them that," Sandi said.

"Oh yeah, well two can play at that game missy. Yasmin is Janeway's daughter that she had with James' dad!" Bryan yelled. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at the group.

"Bryan has a crush on Janeway's granddaughter, Kiara," Yasmin giggled.

"I do not!" Bryan yelled.

"Oh dear god," B'Elanna muttered.

"Yeah I know, Janeway and James' dad, must restrain urge to spread news.." Tom stuttered. He couldn't take it anymore and he ran out of the room. B'Elanna rolled her eyes.

End of Part I

Part II

Meanwhile:
James was going down a corridor on his own, not looking where he was going though. He bumped straight into Lena.

"Oh, hi James," Lena said. She continued on her way.

"Huh, do I know you?" James said questioningly.

Lena stopped, she turned around. "Oh yeah, you're the past one. I'm Lena by the way."

"Oh, hi..." James said.

Tom ran up to the pair, "guess what James. Your dad slept with Janeway!"

Lena groaned and covered her face, "Tom, shut the hell up."

"Huh? Why? He needs to know these things," Tom said. James 2 turned the corner and he joined Lena and the other James. Tom looked rather worried, he stepped backwards. "Oh crap, two of them.. there's two of them. See ya!" Tom ran off as fast as he could.

"Is that true?" James asked nervously.

"Uh huh," Lena replied.

"Is what true?" James 2 asked.

"Tom just told him about the whole Janeway and Peter thing," Lena replied.

"Ohno, seeya.." James 2 said, he rushed after Tom.

"It's a good thing that you won't remember this, you're not suppose to find out for another seven years," Lena said.

"But my dad's been dead for years, when did that happen?" James asked.

Lena looked confused for a second, then she seemed to get it. "Oh, that's not so bad. It'll take a while to explain so I'll not bother."

"What's not so bad?" James asked.

"Oh my god! I didn't know James was actually Janeway's son! Oh my god, I gotta tell everyone!" Tom's voice yelled. Lena and James both heard a big banging noise, then there was silence.

"Actually it is that bad now," Lena muttered.

"What.. did Tom say?" James stuttered.

"Oh damn it. Um, Janeway's your mother.. and she's mine too," Lena said nervously.

"That's not possible.. is she a whore or something?" James asked.

"No.. it was just an accident.. she hated your dad. She hates mine now too," Lena replied.

"Oh thanks, I thought for a second that I wasn't an accident anymore but I still am," James said.

"If it makes you feel any better I was never born in my timeline," Lena said quickly.

"That's it, I need to go to Sickbay, my headache's getting worse," James said. He continued on his way down the corridor.

"Well a headache's better than turning evil," Lena said as she shrugged her shoulders. She went in the opposite direction.

"How many kids does Janeway have exactly?" Tom asked as Lena passed him. Lena rolled her eyes, she kicked him and continued on her way.

Voyager's Bridge:
"Ready, Harry poo?" Kathryn 2 asked.

"Yes, and would you please stop calling me that," Harry muttered in response.

"Open the portal then Harry," Kathryn ordered.

"Aye Captain," Harry said.

"It's working Captain, the portal is forming," Tuvok said.

Kathryn 2 tapped her commbadge, "Janeway to Voyager, send in the probe."

In: "Yes ma'am."

"Well?" Kathryn 2 said questioningly.

In: "It's negative Captain, the temporal scanners Lena and Tani installed are showing that the portal leads to 2379."

"It looks like we'll have to wait until we can open a portal in the same position as the last one," Harry said.

"Seems like it, when will that be?" Chakotay asked.

Harry worked at his station, "well it's good news. Opening that other portal has helped shorten the time we have to wait. We'll be able to open it tomorrow night."

"Good, we will all just have to stay sane until then," Chakotay muttered as he glanced at the two Kathryn's. Both were in an 'interesting' conversation.

"Coffee's much nicer when you put two spoonfuls of powder instead of one," Kathryn 2 said.

"Really, I'll have to try that," Kathryn said.

"Correction, if we can stay sane until then," Chakotay said.

Elsewhere on Voyager:
Craig was chatting with Lisa and Faye in the middle of the corridor. "I can't believe it but it's true, Janeway has three kids in that timeline. It's really confusing," Craig was saying.

"Yeah I heard off Tom that James was one of them," Faye said.

"Who?" Craig said questioningly.

"James, you know he was on the Marquis ship you were on," Faye said. Craig just shrugged.

"Yeah well I heard that too, the other two kids are teenagers but one of them isn't even born yet," Lisa said.

"The future is very confusing," Faye muttered.

"Yeah well the other girl is the one that can remember every temporal thing that happens, not that it's actually possible," Lisa said.

"Believe it I can Lisa," Lena's voice said. The three teens jumped a mile, they all turned to Lena who'd just come around the corner.

"Woah, hi I'm Craig," Craig said, blushing like mad. Lisa and Faye rolled their eyes, they walked away.

"Oh great.. I already know who you are," Lena muttered.

"Wow you're really pretty, want to go out sometime?" Craig asked.

Lena groaned, "I guess some people never change."

"Huh, what do you mean?" Craig asked.

"Never mind," Lena replied.

Suddenly a ball came flying towards the two, it hit Craig right where it hurts. He fell onto the floor, crying. Lena heard Lisa and Faye giggling a few metres away.

"What do you think of the new game? It's called 'Hit a guy with a basketball', supposedly your sister invented it," Lisa asked.

"Why am I not surprised," Lena groaned. She picked up the ball and she went over to the two girls.

Jessie/James' Quarters, later that night:
The door chimed but no one answered the door. Jessie stepped through one of the doors, she looked around the room. She saw that James had fallen asleep on the sofa, as she did the door chimed again. She rushed over to the door and she opened it to reveal Jessie 2 and James 2, with the two kids.

"Hey this room looks a lot better when it's not burnt," James 2 joked. Jessie 2 elbowed him hard.

"What do you want?" Jessie asked.

"Don't be like that, these are our quarters too technically," Jessie 2 said.

"Sorry.. there's no room at the inn," Jessie muttered.

"Are you sure? We need someone to babysit Duncan and Sasha for us," Jessie 2 said.

"Why us?" Jessie asked.

"Well you're us, of course," James 2 replied.

Jessie rolled her eyes, "fine.. but why do you need a babysitter?"

"I know what you're going to say, we're not going to remember any of this but.. ever since the baby was born we haven't had any time to ourselves," Jessie 2 replied. Duncan ran into the room, he went straight over to the replicator.

"Oh shame," Jessie muttered.

"Don't tell me you're still mad about us," James 2 said.

"Mad, I'm not mad.. I'm scared to death of you guys," Jessie said angrily.

"What, why.. I'm you," Jessie 2 asked.

"Oh come on.. I've been put off having kids ever since I found out how it was done. You know why, it's because of him," Jessie replied, and she pointed at James 2. He shook his head and walked away.

"Look, just because he's tough and aggressive doesn't mean that he's going to be the same when you know.." Jessie 2 said.

"When, I prefer the word if," Jessie said.

"Take it from me there's nothing to be afraid of ok, in a year's time you'll realise that and overcome it. Believe me," Jessie 2 said.

"Great.. in the future I'm a whore," Jessie said as she folded her arms.

"No, I didn't mean anything dirty by that. When it happens you'll understand," Jessie 2 said.

"You're using the word when again," Jessie said.

"You can't change what's going to happen in the future, this is going to happen. Oh come on, I told you there's nothing to be scared of. Just look at him, do you really think he'd hurt you?" Jessie 2 said as she turned to leave.

"Ok, whatever," Jessie groaned just as the door closed.

Duncan turned to her, "mum 2, the replicator isn't working properly."

Later that night, Tuvok's Quarters:
Two dark figures stepped inside the room, they went inside one of the bedrooms. As they did they put masks over their faces.

"Ok, now," one of the figures said. The other one nodded, he or she dropped something onto the floor then they both ran out of the room.

Sickbay, about ten minutes later:
Tuvok was lying unconscious on one of the biobeds. The Doctor and Kes were standing over him.

"Well we've finally managed to get him breathing again, now how on earth did he end up like this anyway?" the Doctor was saying.

Kes looked at a PADD, "somebody put what Tom calls a stink bomb in his quarters. According to the scanners it was a coffee flavoured one. Tuvok's not the only one, other unknown crewmembers have had the same thing."

"Then why is Tuvok the only patient... oh god! Beam them all here!" the Doctor yelled.

The Bridge, the next morning:
Kathryn was sitting on her chair looking sober for once, Harry and Tom were at their usual spots, Ian was at Tactical since Tuvok was still in Sickbay. Chakotay strolled onto the Bridge holding a PADD. He went over to Kathryn, he handed her the PADD. "Captain, this is my resignation form."

"What? Why are you resigning?" Kathryn asked as she stood up. She put her hands on her hips.

"Because then I can do this," Chakotay replied. He grabbed a hold of Kathryn and he kissed her. Everyone watched looking rather gobsmacked.

When Chakotay finally let her go, Kathryn stropped her way to the Ready Room, "I really need a coffee after that!"

"Woah, did you see that?" Harry asked in shock.

"Oooh yeah," Tom replied.

"Damn it, I should have had a camera.. Jess, James and Danny really should have seen that," Ian said.

"Correction, everyone should have saw that," Tom said.

"Do you mind, I'm still in the room," Chakotay said.

"Oh yeah," everyone muttered, they all went back to work.

Meanwhile, James/Jessie's Quarters:
James 2 and Jessie 2 stepped through the main door. They saw Duncan sitting on the sofa with a few bottles of Cherry Coke. He grinned in a hyper way. "I fixed the replicator," he giggled.

"Duncan, where's your sister?" Jessie 2 asked.

"She's still asleep, the lazy bugar," Duncan replied.

"She's a baby, it doesn't mean that she's lazy," James 2 said. He went towards one of the doors.

"No, the other one. You don't want to go in that one," Duncan said as he pointed to the other door. James 2 went towards the other door and he went inside.

"I take it they're still asleep," Jessie 2 said.

"Yep, they're lazy bugars too," Duncan said and he grinned.

"Where did you learn that word?" Jessie 2 asked. Duncan shrugged.

Back to the Bridge:
Chakotay had left so Tom, Ian and Harry were gossiping again. They all stopped when Kathryn stepped into the room.

"Is Tuvok still in Sickbay?" Kathryn asked.

"Er, yes ma'am," Ian replied.

"So who's in charge of Security today?" Kathryn asked.

"Well James is the only other main character who's in Security so it's probably him," Ian replied.

"It is, I had to send a message to his computer thingy," Tom said.

Kathryn tapped her commbadge, "Janeway to Taylor, have you gotten the message?"

In: "Oh s***, what message?"

"I knew it.. the one on your computer," Kathryn replied.

Tom couldn't take it anymore, "go on James, say mummy."

Kathryn glared at Tom before smacking him hard in the back of the head. "Are you even on duty, James?"

In: "I think for safety I'm going to say yes."

"Get to duty, by the way tell Jessie to get to duty too," Kathryn muttered.

In: "I am on duty."

Tom sniggered for some unknown reason. Kathryn sighed, "I don't think so somehow, you're duty shift is on the Bridge. Anyway I want all senior officers to report to the Conference Room at 1100 hours."

"Including Chakotay?" Tom asked slyly.

"Including Chakotay!" Kathryn snapped.

Later in the Conference Room:
All of the senior staff were sitting at the table. Kathryn really wasn't a happy chappy. Little did anyone know James was secretly smoking behind his hand.

"Ok I must say that I am absolutely appalled at everyone's behaviour recently. Everyone seems to think that just because we won't remember anything from this incident that they can do whatever they want. I want this to stop now," Kathryn said.

"What's that smell?" Ian asked. He glanced over at James.

"What smell?" James said innocently.

"Anyway whoever was responsible for what happened to Mr Tuvok last night will be punished severely. Also, there are a few girls that have been using basketballs as weapons against the boys, this will be dealt with seriously too," Kathryn said.

"Seriously.. that's a good one," Lisa laughed. Several others laughed with her.

"Oh and that rumour going around the ship that James is my son is not true, I mean whoever made that up must have serious mental problems," Kathryn said.

"But.. the older James told me," Tom moaned. Everyone stared at him oddly.

"Oh please, would I tell you something like that if it was true?" James said questioningly.

Tom pouted, "no I guess not. But I know that Yasmin is Janeway's kid."

"The girl who's been responsible for causing the most injuries with the basketball? Now that is worrying," Harry said. Suddenly he cringed, and he fell onto the floor crying. A basketball rolled over towards Kathryn's feet.

"Ok, who was that?" Kathryn asked.

Everyone heard a girl giggling from the doorway, everyone turned and they all saw Yasmin sitting near the door. "I'm getting good with my shot aren't I?" she giggled. She got up and she ran out of the door.

"Beam him to Sickbay," Kathryn ordered. Everyone else glanced at each other.

"Who were you talking too?" Chakotay asked.

"Oh fine, I'll do it myself," Kathryn said angrilly. She went over to the side panel and she pressed some keys.

"James.. is that smell coming from you?" Danny asked.

Everyone looked towards James. "No.. what smell?" he replied, looking guilty as ever. When everyone turned away he threw the tab away.

"Aaaaaghh, my hair! My beautiful hair!" Kathryn screamed as her hair was set alight. She ran out of the room screaming.

"Now that was a good shot," Tom sniggered.

"That's not funny, she could of been hurt," Chakotay said, glancing angrilly at James. He just shrugged and tried to look innocent again.

"It's not like she'll remember it," James muttered.

"Wait a minute, were you smoking?" Jessie asked.

"Nope, I just have some matches.. just in case," James replied.

A few people raised their eyebrows suspiciously. Chakotay stood up, "ok if that is all, dismissed."

The Mess Hall:
Danny and Ian strolled into the room, chatting amongst themselves. "Look there's nothing to worry about, our future selves were probably babysitting those kids," Ian was saying.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Danny said.

Right on cue the two kids Danny 2 and Ian 2 were with in the earlier scene ran up to the pair. "Hi mummy," the girl said.

Danny's eyes widened and she ran out of the room. Ian tried not to look nervous, "no, your mummy's over there." The two kids looked around, they saw Danny 2 and they rushed over to her instead.

Ian sat down at a small table near the window, he looked around and he saw James 2, Jessie 2 and Duncan sitting at a nearby table. "I woke up in the middle night, and I went to their replicator to get some pop. It still wasn't working when I tried so I went to see mum and dad 2 but they looked rather kissy when I saw them," Duncan said.

"Ohno," Jessie 2 muttered.

"Yeah, I know gross," Duncan said.

Ian's eyes widened in shock, he glanced around to see if anyone else was listening in.

Meanwhile:
Tom was going down a corridor on Deck 3, he stopped at the turbolift. He pressed a button to open the doors, what he saw inside the turbolift made even his eyes widen. "Oh.. my... god!"

James and Jessie quickly pulled away from each other and they turned to him looking really embarrassed. "What about your god?" Jessie asked nervously.

"You know this all starting to make sense.. The whole you two being in the same room when Janeway woke you up, James smoking and now this.." Tom said.

"What the hell are you talking about?" James asked. Jessie glared at him.

"You were smoking!" Jessie snapped, she slapped James in the back of the head.

"Oh come on Jessie it was obvious," Tom muttered.

"It was just half a one, I just needed one.. I don't know why," James said while rubbing the back of his head.

"I wonder," Tom said.

"Look Tom, you didn't see anything.. ok," Jessie said.

"Ohno, you two aren't getting away that easily. What were you two doing last night?" Tom asked.

"That's none of your business," Jessie replied.

"Yeah, and if you spread any rumours about us you're dead. And I mean it this time," James said.

"All right, but I know what happened. It's easy to figure out," Tom said. He finally stepped inside the turbolift. "Deck 5."

Later on the Enterprise:
Danny was standing near a viewport in one of the corridors. There was a nice view of both Voyager's at the port. Ian came up behind her. "Nice view huh?"

Danny grinned, "yeah, you can spy on people from here."

"Really?" Ian said questioningly. He stood beside Danny. "You know there's something you really outta know."

"Ok.. hey look I can see James and Jessie from here," Danny said.

Ian took a hold of Danny's arm, he pulled away from the port. "That's what I was going talk to you about."

"Hey, I'm not that sick.. I don't need to know that they might be making out more than usual," Danny said.

"Let's just say their future selves know something and I overheard them. Look Danny everyone will find out the bad way if someone else finds out," Ian replied.

"Yeah I know, but there's nothing we can do about it," Danny said.

"Unless we get them to confess in front of everyone that they did, then at least they won't have to worry about all sorts of embarrassing rumours being made up," Ian said. Right on cue Tom came around the corner and overheard.

"That's the best plan I've heard in a while," Tom said.

"Oh great, too late," Danny muttered.

Tom rolled his eyes, "don't worry, I already know but I'm not interested in spreading this round. I agree with what Ian said."

"How do we get them to confess then?" Danny asked.

"Oh I have a plan, Danny.. you can flirt right?" Ian replied.

"Hell yeah," Danny said.

"Then this'll work," Ian said.

The Mess Hall, later:
Danny, Ian and Tom came into the room. Danny looked rather nervous as Ian glanced around the room. "I don't really like this plan, don't you know."

"Of course I know. There's your target," Ian said as he pointed towards James and Jessie's table. Danny took a deep breath before heading over, Tom and Ian sat at the nearest table.

"Hi guys, can I talk to James alone for a second?" Danny asked.

"Um, ok," James replied as he stood up. He and Danny went further away from the table.

"I was just wondering, how's the whole practise relationship going with Jessie?" Danny asked.

"Fine, I guess... why?" James replied.

"Well just remember, I'm here if you need a more experienced girl," Danny said, she winked at him.

"Uh.. ookay," James said nervously. He headed back towards the table, as he did Danny took another deep breath before going back towards Tom and Ian.

"Did you hear that?" James asked.

"Yeh I did... oh god. She knows," Jessie replied.

"Knows? Oh.." James muttered.

"Yeah she must be trying to get us to confess to it to spare us some embarrassment," Jessie said.

"What do we do?" James asked.

"She doesn't know that we know, so you just have to play along," Jessie replied.

"Play along, what do you mean?" James asked.

"I dunno, just pretend that you want to take her up on that offer. That may scare her off," Jessie replied.

"Oh great," James groaned. He stood up and he went towards Danny. She glanced at Tom and Ian briefly before making her way towards him. "Um, Dan.. I think your idea is a really good one. I could learn a lot from you."

Danny's eyes widened slightly, "um good. I'll see you later tonight then." She and James went back to their tables again. "Oh my god, he's interested."

"Woah, I didn't think he'd do that to Jessie," Ian said.

"Wait a minute, he knows that you know. He's just playing along to get you to back off. Just keep going, you're going to have to go one step further," Tom said.

"But.. flirting with one of my best friends is bad enough," Danny moaned.

"Never stopped those two did it, get going," Tom said.

Danny turned around and she summoned James back to her. He nervously went back over to her. "I think we should practise something now."

"Really? Right here?" James said questioningly.

"Yes, kissing in public is a really good thing to happen in a relationship," Danny said.

James looked even more nervous than she did, "um right now?"

"Yes.. right now. In front of Jessie," Danny said.

"Um.. ok," James said.

Danny briefly turned to Tom and Ian looking really scared stiff. They both just nodded at her. "Ok, me or you?"

"I guess it should be me right," James said quietly.

"Yes, that's a good idea.. you're learning already," Danny said. Both of them stepped a little closer to each other.

"Oh god, those two wouldn't last in acting school," Tom muttered.

"They're not going to really kiss are they? One of them has to crack before then," Ian said in a panicky tone.

"Don't worry, I know you're right. Trouble is we won't know who'll crack first," Tom said.

"Ok, I guess the only thing left to do now is kiss," James said really nervously.

"Yeah, I guess so," Danny said just as nervously.

Both of them looked like they were going to crack as they got closer to each other. "Oh my god, they're not going to crack, I can't look!" Ian yelled as he covered his eyes. Tom laughed as he saw Jessie do the same.

Danny and James both nearly kissed but James backed away at the last second. "I can't do it!"

"Oh thank god, why not?" Danny sighed.

"Because.. because I love Jessie," James said loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. Nearly everyone in the room looked gobsmacked.

"Oh my god.. really?" Ian said in shock.

"Woah I just thought you guys were just together properly, I didn't know you were in love," Danny said in even more shock.

Jessie stood up looking just as gobsmacked as everyone else. James turned to her looking more nervous than before. Jessie went up to him and they both kissed.

"That's good enough, right?" Ian said questioningly as Danny came back over to him.

"Hell yeah, I'm not doing anything like that again," Danny said.

In: "Janeway to all Senior Officers, report to the Bridge. It's time to re-open the anomaly."

"All that for nothing, why didn't anyone remind me of the whole forgetting everything thing?" Danny asked.

"Cos I didn't remember either," Ian muttered in response.

The Bridge:
"The anomaly is forming," Harry said.

"The other Voyager is sending the probe through," Tuvok said.

Kathryn stood up, oh she had shorter hair too, she tapped her commbadge. "Janeway to other Voyager, status?"

In: "It's worked, that's our time. We'll be through the anomaly in five minutes."

"Good, my hair will finally be back to normal again," Kathryn said.

"There won't be anymore basketball attacks," Harry and Tom said. Craig, who was still in great pain, agreed with just a nod of the head.

"No one will remember that kiss," Chakotay said, sounding relieved.

"No permanent damage from the stink bomb," Tuvok said.

"No one will remember that me and James nearly kissed," Danny said.

"What she said," Jessie said.

"I won't remember making an a** of myself in front of everyone in the Mess Hall," James said.

"Oh yeah that too," Jessie muttered.

"How could she forget that... oh my turn. Um, I will forget that Danny has kids in the future," Ian said.

"I'll forget that I will marry Tom and have a kid that looks 18 in seven years," B'Elanna said.

"I will forget that I get replaced by a borgified Barbie doll," Kes said.

"And I... uh I ... forget that I streaked just now," Neelix said drunkenly. With that he streaked across the Bridge.

Jessie growled, she picked up a conveniently placed fork... uh I mean knife and she chased Neelix around the Bridge. "Come here you sick little b**tard!"

"Um, somebody really should stop her," Harry said.

Tom glanced at James, "I think you should."

"Why, she really needs to get her own back on him," James asked.

"By killing him, I don't think so," Chakotay muttered.

"Oh come on James, everyone knows that you're the only one that can hold her down. If you know what I mean," Tom said, he winked at James.

Jessie stopped chasing Neelix, she then went after Tom. He screamed and he ran for his life. "Stop running will you, I'm trying to kill you!" she screamed.

"God knows how someone can love a psychopath," Harry said.

"Easy... you just have to be one yourself," B'Elanna said.

"Hey, what is that suppose to mean?" James asked.

"Thank god we forget all of this. How long now?" Chakotay asked.

"Um, about five seconds," Harry replied.

"Goodbye awful hair!" Kathryn cried.

"More like hello," Ian sniggered just as a white light overwhelmed the entire Bridge.

"Status Harry," Kathryn said as she turned to Harry.

"It appears to be an anomaly but it's closing. It shouldn't cause us any bother," Harry said.

"Good good, Tom continue on our original course," Kathryn ordered.

"Yes ma'am," Tom said. He keyed in the controls.

Voyager's warp drives lifted and it shot off into the distance. Right behind it was the FVDA ship. All that could be heard was the awful sound of The Ketchup Song playing away.. oh and did I mention there was some screaming too.

"Oh dear god, make it stop!" Damien screamed.

"Ok.. my love for you insatiable. something something," Darren sang.

"Please god no," Rick muttered.

"Hey baby, hey baby.. girls say.. girls say," Gwen sang. She then noticed Darren was in the same room with her. They both stormed out of the room through different doors. As they did Nelly and Kelly started singing Dilemma, well if you call it singing. Damien pulled out a gun and he shot them both.

The remaining FVDA members sighed in relief, the ship was silent once again.

"I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world... life in plastic.. it's fantastic," Myleene started to sing.

The rest of the FVDA members covered their ears. "No, Myleene you can't do a cover of Barbie Girl!" Brannon screamed.

Myleene didn't hear him, she was too busy jumping around and singing.

"The end is coming, we have to get Voyager in a few weeks.. it'll probably the last thing we ever do," Damien said. The others agreed.

*******
When will the FVDA be a proper threat? Will Myleene really do a cover of Barbie Girl? Will Lena and Tani actually remember all the events in this episode? If so will we even bother to even mention it in Season 3? How come only an odd few of the Season 3 cast were in this episode? Why is Neelix so obsessed with streaking anyway? And will Nelly & Kelly ever learn that their song is a load of crap and then get out of our lives?
Find out the answers to most of these questions in the next installment of B4 Fifth Voyager!

*******

****THE END****

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