Marill Re-Reads Thrown Key Part 1
Here's the stats so far.
Exclaimed Count: 155
Muttered Count: 817
Motto Count: 19
Sexist Crap Count: 33
Jessie's Sin Points: 24
Morgan the Sue Count: 7
Seven Dies Count: 5
James Kill Count: 2
Season One is drawing to a close, yay, but are the Re-Reads too? I'm not sure. I originally decided to not read through episodes not yet rebooted, and yet here we are.
Blah blah, today is about the Season One finale. Whenever I think about the title, as well as its old future? tense one "Throw Away The Key", I get a feeling of nostalgia and potential. Then I remember the episode's not very memorable outside of poster tearing and I wonder what it is about Thrown Key that makes me feel like "gee this was a good idea, what happened?" I mean the title itself isn't at all very intruiging, the premise was always "J/C get locked up during a crisis". Unimatrix Zero was an after thought since I probably didn't know anything about its second half, at least, when Thrown Key was thought up. So what is IT? Why out of every single episode and their titles in Season One, does Thrown Key give me the "this was huge back in the day, an event I was looking forward to" vibes?? I doubt it was a if I reach a season finale I can pat myself on the back for finally finishing something vibe. It doesn't feel like one.
I cannot explain it to myself so I don't expect to ever find out, unless some notes spring up whilst cleaning up someday.
I guess Thrown Key Part 1 is a big event for me in the "woohoo I finished something" sense. I finished it around the same time I was finished with school, so I must've been feeling pretty proud for once in my life. Ah well.
It's time to jump into the final Re-Reads (of Season One) and criticise the hell out of it.
Tom & B'Elanna lock Kathryn & Chakotay in Kathryn's quarters to stop them arguing, Seven visits Unimatrix Zero and discovers something very disturbing and Morgan loses her Cherry Coke.
For some reason I've been thinking for a while that Morgan was behind the lockup. I dunno why.
This action screams Season One Tom, but yeah I thought this before the Re-Reads and wasn't aware just how jackassery he was.
Lilly and Morgan were sitting on Lilly's sofa. Lilly was sorting out her Pokémon Tazos and she obviously wasn't listening to Morgan's whining.
I see this finale is starting strong. I'm on the edge of my seat.
Upendi was the final episode of Season One so is sorta a finale in its own right. Not that its opening was any better.
Oh yeah Morgan's whining. I was doing that myself and completely missed it. OH MY GOD, I'M LILLY
"They're driving me crazy," Morgan moaned.
"Who are?" Lilly muttered.
"Oh for crying out loud! I've told you who about three times now! Weren't you listening?" Morgan yelled.
Didn't mention this in earlier reviews and I really, really should've.
Why is Lilly so chummy with Morgan? All of the new characters appear and instantly start hanging out together without any moments that show why.
I know the answer. I don't like it. It's multiple answers really.
1) I'm lazy, or was....... lazier
2) I wanted the new characters to mix, but once written in their characters didn't work with that idea. Thus the ones who didn't started to fit in, so to speak. Notice how nearly all (maybe all sometimes) of the new cast are so god damn similar.
Lilly herself would be a good example if you were, well only me unfortunately. Sure early Kidz Trek Lilly is an impulsive hothead as she's a spoilt princess kid in charge of a starship who does start to grow up (and FV Lilly should be her from a later book, so actually in the middle of her KT development), BUT even her kid self wouldn't befriend people like Morgan or even Emma. She's the bookworm. Not shy but not exactly sociable, again princess type, and got along with less, I want to say loud types. She might be ok with Craig if he calms down, but that's about it.
She's chucked in with the others because she's one of mine, and hey she'll be made to suit. It's one of the things that pisses me off about FV Lilly. The main thing actually. She's not Lilly. FACT. She may as well be Firera for all that it matters.
3) Morgan, James and Jessie are the stars of the show. Yeah in the old pre-James/Jessie days Morgan was... one of the stars. If the new cast are not mulling around them they won't get any attention.
If Lilly and Morgan were written correctly neither of them would really be hanging out like they're best friends. Look at this, they're chilling on Lilly's sofa. Morgan's airing her grievances to her. They've known each other for all of five minutes. Before Lilly arrived Morgan only really befriended Craig and Tani, even James was a stretch, I don't think we have a similar sofa scene with them, do we? Lilly was picked because she had to be here, simple as.
Oh I know what this truly is. Lilly was the lead MC of Kidz Trek, my original pride and joy, so she was the Queen until Kiara and Roxanne tried to challenge her. God help me they tried. Morgan is the reason for FV's existence, the current pride and joy, and is its queen, AND is Roxanne in concept only. OF COURSE THEY'D HANG OUT, IT MAKES SENSE GOD DAMN IT
Phew, this'll be a long one. Anyway!
"My parents, they're constantly arguing," Morgan replied. Lilly stared blankly at her. "You know, the Captain and Chakotay," Morgan groaned. Lilly's eyes widened in shock.
"They're your parents! I didn't know that," Lilly said. Morgan felt like strangling her.
I'm sure this revelation is contradicted at some point.
Oh and lol proving my point. Lilly and Morgan sitting chilling on her sofa, one is airing her issues to the other, and yet the latter hasn't a clue who her parents are. Look I know Craig's been creepy lately, but you still have Tani. She's your best friend, Morgan.
Good lord. No wonder, this explains Tani and Morgan in Season Two. sheesh. Team Tani.
Emma ran into the room. She was giggling uncontrollably and she was holding a half empty bottle of Cherry Coke.
"Hiya Morgan! Wanna drink?" Emma said loudly. Morgan nodded and Emma handed her, her bottle.
You know I love original Lilly, and Emma is a really REALLY poor one note version of a good friend of mine, but GOOD GOD, the series has rapidly slid down into a boiling mudpit since their arrival. LOOK AT THIS
Emma ran into the room. She was giggling uncontrollably and she was holding a half empty bottle of Cherry Coke.
LOOK AT THIS!!!!!!! WHO CARES
The last few episodes have been nothing, literally nothing. Since World Domination (FU WD!) what's happened? NOTHING THAT'S WHAT. Lilly and Emma contribute nothing but LOL CHERRY COKE/BOOZE and snoozefest conversations where you could change the names and it would be the same. Everything that you could consider as "events", very loosely have not involved these two. They add nothing to the series but boring twaddle. It's not the characters' fault though, that's what's disturbing. If neither were introduced, other characters would've filled their boots easily AND YOU WOULDN'T HAVE NOTICED A SINGLE DIFFERENCE other than a different name preceeding muttereds and saids.
"What's up with your miserable face?" Emma asked. She sat down next to Morgan and she snatched Lilly's Togepi Tazo.
SEE Emma would not say this to a friend... or anyone.
See what I mean, Emma's gotten very little characterisation so far and yet SHE'S STILL WRONG
"My parents are just.. annoying me that's all," Morgan muttered.
"They're still arguing over their accidental marriage?" Emma asked.
JUST GET TO THE SODDING POINT, SO HELP ME GOD
CHUCK ANY OTHER CHARACTER INTO THIS SCENE INSTEAD OF LILLY AND EMMA FOR MORGAN TO TALK TO AND WE'D HAVE PROGRESSED PAST "J/C ARE ARGUING" AND BE ON THE NEXT SCENE BY NOW
"What is there to argue about?" Emma asked.
"Yeah, they're great together," Lilly said. Morgan and Emma stared oddly at her. Lilly got back to her Tazo's.
God damn it, just rename Lilly "Firera" and stop ruining a half decent character. It's honestly taken me a decade to stomach even thinking about using Lilly as a character in my work again. FV really spat on her.
"The usual. 'It's all your fault that it happened', that sort of thing," Morgan said.
"Why don't you stay over here tonight?" Emma asked.
Well at least they're not blaming Tom
There's something here you know, Morgan is piggy in the middle with her parents bickering, and is obviously upset about it. It's super frustrating that these two girls made this such a struggle for her. Seriously, she went to the wrong people.
Yet lol to one of them offering her this.
Read later seasons, come back here and see if this bugs you like it does me. Not important spoilers: Morgan very rarely interacts with Lilly and Emma later, they're not friends. They weren't supposed to be, that's why. Once I tried to write the pair better, you know like I should've done, they didn't fit as friends of Morgan. Funny that, it's almost as if I was changing them to fit in. NOWAY!
"Don't ask that like if my parents live in the same quarters, because they don't. They argue on the Bridge, every time dad drops Kiara back off at our quarters, even during meetings," Morgan said.
Hey, Morgan's friends would've known this already. Oh wait.
Finally though, a confirmation about J/C. Season One has avoided it a lot.
It's nice to see the living arrangements a bit though, I tried to look this up and figure it out for the reboot. In the end I had to start over with one girl living with one parent, and the other with the other. I'm glad I did because this episode claims Janeway lives with Kiara AND Morgan (Conspiracy says Morgan regenerates some nights). How does that work? I know they're the same person but Morgan and Kiara sharing a room isn't workable, unless Janeway shares with Kiara.
And that's FV's Voyager, where I created two bedroom quarters for James/Jessie primarily. What if it were 1 or none like the real thing?
Why is Chakotay not considered, hmmmmmmmmmmmm?
I'd mark this as Sexist but I'm not entirely sure I thought it through in the slightest.
I'm still on scene 1. Jesus.
"Don't worry about it Morgan. If I know those two then they'll just argue for one more episode and then they would of forgotten about it. Remember the original episodes Equinox & Survival Instinct? In Survival Instinct they were just acting like they weren't at each other's throats in the previous episode," Lilly said.
That's it. Lilly is Firera. I'm done. She talks like a writer, acts like a writer. SHE IS A WRITER. Her stupid story in World Domination made no sense, so NOPE NOT BUYING IT. Real Lilly is still in the Kidz Trek universe.
YES I'M SURE MORGAN REMEMBERS EPISODES THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN FROM THEIR TITLES
"Yeah, how do you know my parents so well?" Morgan asked.
"Lets just say in the third dimension, where we used to live that is, Voyager was a TV program and the characters are identical to ten members of this crew," Lilly said.
I HATE EVERYTHING
STFU FAKE LILLY
"Why Third? Star Trek: Voyager was the first," Emma asked.
SHUSH, I KNEW I SHOULDN'T TELL YOU ALL MY FV SPOILERS
I mean, um... yeah!
"Third, as in Third dimension," Morgan replied.
But isn't the fifth dimension made up of fictional universes? Star Trek Voyager is fictional so wouldn't that mean...
lol sorry couldn't keep that going. Mirror Universes really didn't have a f$$$$ clue what it was saying, almost as if it were a last minute ass grab of a joke that wasn't funny. Stop trying to legitimise fan/fiction dimensions and the writers crap. It's a failed "idea", give it up. It was never the point of FV. Morgan and Kiara's existence split the dimensions. THAT NEVER CHANGED, FU
"Oh well, I'd better go. It's regenerate night," Morgan muttered as she stood up.
"You poor soul. You have to put up with Seven snoring all night," Emma said.
"Snoring? That's a funny thought," Lilly sniggered.
"I don't really care if she snores or not, as long as she doesn't wake me up. Anyway I have to put up with Tani telling me about her dreams of boys every time I wake up," Morgan said.
Piece of Conspiracy did the snoring bit better.
Good lord Tani, nobody wants to hear about your wet James dreams
"I really do not see the point of Tani. She's just the female equivalent of Craig," Lilly said.
Does Lilly say anything that isn't fourth wall-y?
I'm telling you, she's Firera
Would you believe me if I said Kidz Trek Lilly is a lot like James when it comes to her thoughts on relationships, hers or otherwise? Yeah thought you wouldn't. Kidz Trek Lilly wouldn't be shipping J/C. She wouldn't give a s$$$.
"Anyway she only dreams about a few guys on this ship. Only two are main characters," Morgan said.
Modern James and Team Rocket James are not supposed to be two separate characters. It's a multiple personalities joke. Look it up.
"Harry and James," Morgan replied.
LOL WHUT, SINCE WHEN?
"Oh, I feel sorry for that poor guy," Lilly muttered.
"Yeah, my poor Harry," Emma moaned.
"I wasn't talking about him," Lilly said.
My bulls$$$ senses are tingling.
Is this another girl who likes The James(tm)? Talk about Sue-ing it up. He's going for gold. Once Emma has a character assasination so she can crush on him too, I'm calling it quits and pressing the delete button.
"He'd better not date Tani, he's mine," Emma said angrily.
"No he's not, you just fancy him," Lilly said.
"HE'S MINE!" Emma yelled.
Don't worry, she means Harry
This is probably been the most in character she's ever been, and will be for a while.
OH FINALLY IT'S OVER. THE SCENE I MEAN
Seven suddenly appeared in a strange forest.
Of course she did.
Call me when somebody appears in a regular place and not suddenly.
Some strange jingle like music coming from behind a bunch of trees confused her. She walked towards the strange noise. She pushed past the trees and she gasped at what she saw. There was a small red factory right in front of her. There was a large TV on the wall surrounding the factory. It was a Cherry Coke advert (one of the things you never see in England).
Oh we're going there already? Ok???? I don't remember this.
Don't get me wrong, I remember the addicted Borg drones. I wasn't too clear on how it got there.
Also I might whine about it, maybe, in this review. HOWEVER I'm actually ok with the idea that Cherry Coke is a big thing in the Season One finale's story. It fits with what's happened before, you got to admit. It also gives us the poster moment, something the real "Emma" and I snigger about to this day.
"You're in Unimatrix Zero. It's great to see you," the man said.
"Who are you?" Seven asked. The man's face fell.
"You don't remember? I am Axum, we were very close friends," the man replied.
You meant to say friends with air quotes, didn't you?
"That is the centre of Unimatrix Zero. It appeared three years ago, nobody knows how, but the substance it creates is very addictive," Axum replied.
Three years ago? You mean...
Thrown Key: September 2376
Aggressions: May 2373
GASP, WHAT A TWIST
"What is that substance," Seven asked.
"Cherry Coke, haven't you seen the advert," Axum replied as he pointed to the TV.
"I can't get away from that stuff," Seven muttered.
I MEAN, I DUNNO WHAT THE ACTUAL TWIST IS, BUT IT'S CERTAINLY A WHAT
"I'm leaving," Seven said.
"Why?" Axum asked.
"Because I am, and that's final," Seven replied.
BECAUSE THE SCENE'S OVER, THE TIME ALLOTED TO NOT-MORGAN AND CO HAS RAN OUT
"Please come again," Axum replied.
you suck as a salesman Axum.
Seven awoke. Morgan and Tani were already up and they were fiddling with the console. Seven stepped out of her alcove. She walked up to the pair who hadn't noticed she was awake.
IT WAS THEM ALL ALONG
"Explain," she said. Morgan and Tani nearly jumped a mile at the sound of her voice.
"Er explain what?" Morgan asked.
Yeah Seven, thinking that there's an explanation for anything in this series. What do you think this is, a story? PFFT
"Are you responsible for my dream?" Seven asked.
"What do you think we are, dream keepers?" Tani asked.
"I have never dreamt before, you must of done something," Seven said.
LIES AND SLANDER
DON'T GET ME STARTED, SEVEN. DON'T GET ME STARTED *COUGH* ONE *COUGH* WAKING MOMENTS *COUGH* TONAMEAFEW
Do like Tani's response though.
"As much as we'd like too, we can't make people dream. It's just isn't possible," Morgan said.
Why would you like to? That's mean. Or possibly nice. Depends on the context.
"Then why did my dream have Cherry Coke involved in it?" Seven asked angrily.
You know, that's a good question. Also the fiddling with a console is super fishy
"Cherry Coke Factory you say?" Tani asked nervously. She looked over at Morgan who looked as nervous as she was.
"Did anybody say what the place was called?" Morgan asked.
"Yes, Unimatrix Zero," Seven replied.
WHAT'S THAT, THE TWIST HAS A REASON? WELL FINE, I OWE YOU ALL A FIVER
It's still gonna be crap though
"Uhoh. Lian must of passed on the simulation into Unimatrix Zero," Morgan muttered.
"Three years ago the whole
*PAUSE* LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THIS PARAGRAPH! EXPOSITION MORGAN HAS BEEN REVIVED
"Three years ago the whole lot of us on the Borg Sphere made this device that connected us together when we regenerated. We would all go to the same dream, a Cherry Coke factory. Two weeks later, Lian was on a planet and he was reassimilated into the Borg. We knew all about Unimatrix Zero and what would happen if he had that mutation that would take him there. We just thought there wasn't much chance of it happening so we didn't even worry about it. It seems like Lian did have that mutation," Morgan replied.
Thanks whoever made the GIF version of this image. I laughed for a good twenty minutes. You can't tear your eyes away!
Previously on Marill Re-Reads:
"I'll give you some Cherry Coke," Kiara said.
"What's that? It sounds familiar," Morgan asked.
"It's a drink, it's made of cherry and coke," Kiara said.
And previously on Reboot Dark Frontier:
Morgan felt like she had slapped her in the face. It did though help her realise something about her dream which made her a little hopeful. "We were not assimilated though. If any of us were, we'd have been hunted down and integrated into the Collective. They wouldn't have stopped until we were. A Borg sphere from the future would've been like dangling an espresso in front of mum's face and running off with it."
How much is wrong with that explanation? Morgan is still the queen of the stupid exposition. How many errors do you spot? Let's compare, okay you might, I won't know what you get. Okay, start the clock........................ NOW
1) Morgan didn't know what Cherry Coke was when she joined the crew, and yet slept in a factory every night for 3 years
2) All of the drones on the Borg Sphere know about Unimatrix Zero mutation despite it being, you know rare. You could argue that this Lian knew and told them because he had it, but the way this is told makes me believe they didn't know he had it until now.
3) One of the ex-drones on the sphere that travelled back in time was re-assimilated into the collective, so his knowledge of said ship and Morgan (in a timeframe where the Queen has a vendetta against Janeway post Scorpion/Aggressions) would be compromised. So is this episode really trying to get me to believe that Morgan's ship either wasn't pursued and/or caught, or if it was managed to hold off a fully crewed Borg ship or two dozen? It doesn't matter how advanced in the future Morgan's sphere was, it was still crewed by a bunch of kids instead of thousands of drones. This won't be a clue that the Morgan origin story is bogus. I doubt much thought went into this rubbish.
4) Now that plotholes are out of the way, stupid points! Why would you want to share your dreamscape with the kids you spend all day with? Some of which bullied Morgan, remember?
5) Morgan was meant to be disconnected from the collective, even if Timeline didn't bother to say it, so why would these ex drones be so eager to make a new one even if it is for night time?
6) Why are all the drones Cherry Coke fans? Surely there were some aliens there.
7) Collective Instinct was supposed to vaguely foreshadow that Morgan's disconnection is a flaw somewhere in the collective and/or elsewhere (another thing Timeline ruined by sorta blaming it on the time travel only. I'll blame the draft version for that "little" error), later episodes with the Queen losing her connection to drones too. The reason for Morgan's disconnect always lay in Collective Instinct's foreshadowing, and like Dark Frontier this episode forgets that and we get a stupid recton/plothole.
In a nutshell Morgan shouldn't be able to hook up to the others, OR visit Unimatrix Zero (James too).
8) Back to stupid, if you want to dream about Cherry Coke all the time, why a factory? These are kids. Wouldn't it be more fun to have lakes, rivers and seas of Cherry Coke with other fun stuff to do instead of waiting for the manufacturing process to end so you can take turns lying under the tap instead of the bottles.
9) How come only Lian's dreams corrupt Unimatrix Zero and not other drones? The program doesn't explain it. Was he assimilated whilst he slept? Doubt it.
10) If this program that hooked up the ex-drones, including Morgan, was assimilated with him then how come the others didn't know what happened the following night?
I'M DONE, I THINK. 10 points, what did you get?
"So, addictiveness is unhealthy," Seven said.
"Don't be stupid, Cherry Coke is harmless," Morgan said.
Yeah and neither is coffee
Anyway the episode (hopefully) starts to pick up....
"Bwahahahahahahahaha! Off with their heads!" the Borg Queen laughed. Two Borg Drones stared oddly at her. One other drone walked up to her.
"My Queen, they do not have the mutation," it said.
This scene is too much like the original, I don't see any differences.
"Off with his head!" the Queen yelled. Another drone dragged the innocent drone away.
Clearly he wasn't innocent, he was talking to her like he was a royal aid or something. suspicious.
Another drone walked up to the door. It opened and one other drone walked into the room. "Disconnect him," the Queen said. The drone started acting normally all of a sudden. "You have been to Unimatrix Zero, haven't you? Tell me how to get into it so I can destroy it."
Another or other drone is giving me a headache
"Cherry Coke," the drone replied.
"What does that mean?" the Queen asked.
"I want Cherry Coke, do you have any?" the drone asked.
Yes I'm sure anybody who's been a part of a hive mind for so long, when they're disconnected their first thought is what to have to drink. I'm an addict and my first words will probably be either AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH or PARACETAMOL, HELP
Also they're not supposed to remember Unimatrix Zero in the real world.
I'll give it a pass though as I assume it's the addiction that's left over, so he won't be able to explain why he wants it.
"My Queen, part of the simulation is a Cherry Coke factory. He must have the mutation," one drone said.
Then again, how does he/she know????
The drone dragged the normal one away. "This Cherry Coke Factory will make it easy for me to find everyone who goes to Unimatrix Zero. Nothing will stop me now! Not even that pesky Voyager! Bwahahahahahahahaha!" the Queen laughed. Two drones who were standing behind her shook their heads.
Meh I don't care, I still love my crazy Borg Queen, and after that almost whole review length opening two scenes I'm ok with anything.
"She's talking to herself again," one said.
"She must be stupid, isn't it obvious that nobody is connected to her right now," the other said. The Queen heard and she pressed a couple of commands. Everyone turned into zombies again.
You know my biggest issue with this connection storyline, other than again Timeline forgetting it, was that it was never bloody explained at all. It's been difficult as hell to work this story into the reboot, and a Season Five episode, when I wasn't sure what I could or could not say.
Turns out it doesn't flipping matter. Thrown Key is the last episode of the season, and the last one involving the Borg and it's still showing drones disconnecting randomly. They have their resistance via Unimatrix Zero, which FYI doesn't appear to or shouldn't be the reason for the problem. It's something else entirely. The disconnection bit is merely kept as a gag, despite it being related to a huge part of the series' storyline; Morgan's disconnection. It's frustrating reading this now.
I tried in S5's "Five" to show why it happens. I've tried to leave more hints in Reboot One so you'll see the clues and wonder, but it's still not enough. I need to see if I'm wrong or not, if this whole thing is ever mentioned again as I have to explain it in Season One/Two's premiere in some fashion, close it off. It can't be left until Season Five again. It can't!
Captains Log Stardate 54167.8: Seven of Nine has reported something about the Borg that may give us an advantage over them. I have told her to go back into Unimatrix Zero and find out more about it.
Hurray, at least the plot's finally kicking off.
The following night, Jessie/James' Quarters:
Jessie woke up to the sound of the door chime.
OH right, I forgot. James and Jessie haven't been in the episode yet. What was I thinking????
"Morgan, do you know what time is it?" Jessie said angrily.
"Of course I do, I haven't been able to sleep. Those two won't stop arguing," Morgan replied.
"It's two o'clock in the morning, why are they still arguing?" James asked.
Ok fine, still plot related and I was whining that Morgan tried to get help from people who weren't supposed to be her friends. FINE
Still though :( Poor Morgan. Where's Kiara in all this, I wonder?
"Dad dropped Kiara off at our quarters at nine, and he and mum have been arguing ever since. You won't mind if I stay here for the night," Morgan replied.
9, so 0900??? I'M SORRY, I WON'T LET THAT ONE GO
So what about Kiara? Did she put herself to bed or did Morgan, is she sleeping through this? I guess Kiara's at an age where she won't really understand this but Morgan does. OH YEAH I FORGOT J/C are bad parents. Stop your fighting if your daughters are around. You may not think it but it is damaging to see your parents always at each other's throats. I speak from bloody experience. STOP IT
"Sure, you can sleep on the sofa," Jessie replied.
Jessie's Sin Points: -5
Good on ya Jess. Great way of making up for your behaviour in Upendi. Well done.
"Thanks, I owe you big time," Morgan said. She walked into the room. Jessie walked over to a cupboard and she pulled out a sheet and she handed it over to Morgan.
STOP, MY EYES...
Jessie's Sin Points: -1
James just gormlessly stands there and watches, not saying a word, what a prince
I know he doesn't have to. Jessie only picked up a sheet and Morgan only wants to sleep. It just looks weird and I wonder why the scene bothered to wake him at all. He doesn't contribute anything.
I wondered if the Thrown Key element of the finale would be needed for its reboot (it's why the title was changed, a just in case its not), but it's so far really the only good part of it. (Even the Borg Queen scene fell flat) I feel so sorry for Morgan. What's eery is that almost exactly a year later I was in her position. Same age, piggy in the middle, parents screaming at each other, no one to really talk to, running away from home and sleeping at a friend's. It's why I give Jessie her creds here for what some might think is a small gesture (the sheet). The little details did actually make me tear up in sympathy and at the same time because I was glad Morgan found someone who cared at last (though to be fair, Emma does offer the same. I didn't miss that folks, my complaints were all about the fourth wall FANFIC DIMENSIONS, Lilly's J/C gushing, and lolbooze contributions to the scene, which made me feel a bit stressed on Morgan's behalf).
"Not exactly. The Borg Sphere she was on wasn't connected to the collective.
FINALLY THEY SAID IT
"And they chose a Cherry Coke factory as their dream place?" Axum asked.
"No, I don't understand it either," Seven muttered.
"I do, excuse me, I need some Cherry Coke," Axum said. Conveniently they walked past a Cherry Coke machine. He put a coin into the coin slot and a Cherry Coke bottle fell out the bottom. He picked it up.
And now I understand it less. Again wouldn't it be a better and more effective dreamscape if you didn't have to put a coin into a machine, and instead drink it via a fountain or have glasses of chilled stuff streaming out endlessly on a conveyor belt like one of those fast food sushi places.
"So you're saying that because of the reassimilated of a member of their crew the dream place merged with Unimatrix Zero. The only way that could happen is if the drone had the mutation, there is hardly any chance of it," Axum said.
Gaawd, FV does this far too much. Yes in real life things get repeated when you have to explain it to different people. It doesn't mean you have to show it. Skip ahead to after.
"Because of the addiction to Cherry Coke, a few of us have been caught and murdered by the Queen. She will only need a few more of us to find the frequency for Unimatrix Zero," Axum replied.
"I still don't understand. Why is the addiction helping the Queen find a few of you?" Seven asked.
Use your imagination
I clearly didn't ohsnap
"The Queen must disconnect the drones before they will fully answer her. She will want the frequency to Unimatrix Zero. Disconnecting them is harmless as long as they lie to her but because of the addiction some drones will want Cherry Coke.
Again, we the reader know this as it was shown earlier. Also Axum would not know exactly how she was doing this, right? He'd only know that some people are going missing/not returning. So pointless all around.
"Then stop drinking it then!" Seven yelled.
"The harm has already been done. Three years of Cherry Coke has gone to everyone's heads. There is nothing we can do. The Queen will get the frequency and she will take this place away from us," Axum said.
NOT WITH THAT ATTITUDE
"We have been programming a virus that will separate us from the hive as soon as we leave this place. The problem is that we have to release it outside of Unimatrix Zero," Axum replied.
"You're on a Borg ship, you can do it," Seven said.
"That's true but as soon as we wake up we lose all memories of this place," Axum replied.
Here's an idea, put the virus in the Cherry Coke. Every drone will crave not only the drink but also the virus. Thank me later.
"Maybe we can help you. My Captain has asked me to find an advantage over the Borg with Unimatrix Zero and she will be more than happy to help you deploy this virus," Seven said.
Oh, the log was there so we could skip a few scenes. How thoughtful
"It's too dangerous. You will have to go into a Borg Cube's central plexus," Axum said.
"My Captain will find a way," Seven asked.
"I'll have to talk with her," Axum said.
"That isn't possible, maybe I could get a Borg crewman to come in to represent her," Seven said.
I see where this is going. Retconville no doubt
"This Morgan will do. She knows something about the factory so she might know another way to deploy the virus," Axum said.
"Very well, just keep her away from the factory. Like most members of our crew she is addicted to Cherry Coke too," Seven replied.
"I'll try. Can I have my Cherry Coke back?" Axum asked.
Pfft come on Seven, where's your anti-Morgan spirit. I figured you'd object more.
Everybody, except Chakotay, is sitting at the table. Don't ask how eighteen people can sit around the table. Anyway Seven was talking.
Everytime you say that I feel the need to ask, stop drawing attention to it.
SO HOW THEN? TELL ME
Also, everybody is sitting at the table? Did we come full "Aggressions was originally a script, I forgot to change the tenses" circle?
As usual the extra members of the senior staff weren't listening.
Oh of course they're not. Every single extra character are so naughty and rebellious, but so endearing you can't help but love and laugh with them.
You know I probably found this true at 15/16 because I was a kid, at that age where those traits are number uno and something to strive for. Now that I'm twice that age, it makes me want to reach into the screen and strangle my past self.
All it does is make the extra characters utterly annoying and once again I say same-y. Why should I root for them? Right now I'll give Morgan a pass since she's having a rough time and because she's that age. Everyone else, pffft!!!
Jessie and James were sharing headphones and they were listening to a cd player.
YOU'RE IN YOUR 20'S NOT TEENAGERS, ACT LIKE IT. These two piss me off the most when they're lumped into this rebellious teenaged crap. The others are young teens, Craig's early 20's, but ffs they are not.
Tani and Triah were talking quietly about makeup and boys.
Okay I'm gonna assume Jessie heard the boys part and tuned out, opting to give only one boy her attention. But less seriously and more angrily, WTF. Tani yes, but Triah... why have I chucked her into that stereotype!?
She's also the oldest of the lot so extra angry here
Blah blah Craig was drooling over Morgan while she's quietly reading (WOW MUCH REBELLION, MUCH WOW), Kiara who shouldn't be there at all is having her nap, Naomi who also shouldn't be there is bored and probably imagining her next trip to Flotter land, Emma is drooling over Tom and Harry.
Lilly is actually listening to this, the only Lilly-esque thing she's ever done.
"Can't those writers make up characters that are actually normal. They sit around not doing anything yet they are in more scenes than we are," Tom whispered.
"Yeah, and we used to think Seven & the Doctor was bad in original Voyager," Harry replied.
It's something I deeply regret. Yes I still have Morgan, James, Jessie in the series a lot. However it's not in (as much) expense of anyone else. Other characters get a look in. For example I enjoy writing the original cast a lot more than I used to do. Janeway, Tuvok, Neelix, my Seven, Kes, even Tom.
"Tom, Harry! Show some manners!" Kathryn yelled.
Maybe you, I dunno can tell the people who probably should be in this meeting to pay attention first. Also kick out the ones who aren't senior staff and are kids. So most of them.
"I don't know what he's talking about. He's in more than I am," Triah muttered.
"Who are you again?" Tani asked. Triah groaned.
lol that's true
It's a tad funny that the two girls are whispering boys, lipstick, boys, eyeshadow and Tani doesn't even know who the hell she is. No one else to talk to about that....... who you like and isn't your "love rival". Yeah
"Oh, I'd better make friends with fellow rejects," Triah muttered. She moved her chair over to the Doctor, Neelix and B'Elanna, who were conveniently sitting next to each other.
I remember this scene. It's so wrong
"It's not fair. Do you know the reason why I'm never in episodes. They don't need an aggressive crewmember anymore since they've got Jessie. She's got a lot more personality than I do supposedly," B'Elanna moaned.
Jessie is not B'Elanna's replacement. Never was, never will be. B'Elanna was simply not used as much because I couldn't and still struggle to write her. Dunno why.
"I'm only used for annoying members of the crew," the Doctor moaned.
"I'm only in to torture people with my cooking. Plus a few of the new characters cause more humour than I do," Neelix muttered.
Poor Doccie still gets shafted. It's true
Neelix's point in the show hasn't changed, but he's wrong that he's not as funny as the "new" cast.
"I know what you mean. Tani has a similar name than I have and she's more popular than I am," Triah said.
The treatment of Triah is a tragedy, I'll admit. She has more to her than clean freak. I still fell into that trap, so I've tried to rescue her in the reboot. Thoughtful and when it's not about a dirty floor she's calm, I love her relationship with her stepbrother, it brings out the sweet and funny side to her.
"Would you four rejects shut up! You've said too much," Tuvok said.
"Seven's not in this episode. Tuvok is not a reject anymore since the writers are experimenting with his character," Tom replied.
I thought that wasn't due till Season Two. RIP Tuvok, we hardly knew ye
"Yes of course. We have to think of a plan to get into a central plexus," Kathryn said.
"Does it involve killing?" Emma asked.
Chakotay walked into the room. Everyone who was paying attention stared at him.
"Dismissed," Kathryn said angrily. Everyone except Kiara, Jessie & James who were still asleep/listening to music left the room. Kathryn walked up to Jessie and James. She pulled out their headphones.
Please don't bring Kiara into this couples spat. Morgan having to sleep on someone's sofa is painful enough.
"OW!" they both yelled. They both looked up angrily but the look on Kathryn's faces made them cower.
Yeah don't blame them
They deserve it though. Time to grow up you two
Kathryn walked up to Chakotay. "You're late!" she said angrily.
"So, I don't care anymore," Chakotay muttered.
KIARA'S HERE FFS
I feel bad for Morgan having been in her place at her age, but I'm ultra protective of my Kiara. DON'T YOU F$$$$ DARE
Kathryn snapped as she put her hands on her hips.
"So, I don't bloody care, Peter Pan," Chakotay said. Kathryn went red in rage.
The argument's pretty lame though. Sigh
Kiara woke up, she looked up at her parents. They noticed she was still in the room and they stared angrily at her.
I can't use my usual one as she's the cause of it, so......
will have to do
WHAT. THE ACTUAL F$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$4
"Er.. is this a good time to ask for replicator rations?" Kiara muttered.
"NO! GET OUT!" Kathryn and Chakotay yelled. Kiara started crying and she ran out of the room.
OH. HELL. NO
No wonder Morgan's so upset she has to run away and hint at someone she doesn't know to listen to and help her. These twats aren't satisfied with yelling at each other in front of their young daughters. How dare they treat their 3 year old daughter like this.
I'm too mad to think clearly now.
What is this? I mean really? In order for them to get locked up and the reader to get behind that, they have to be abusive assholes. Cos this is what this is. They're having an argument in front of their kid. They notice said kid and aren't mortified, calm down or anything, no they blame her for being there and trust me she won't want to be. She nervously says the first thing to come to mind and is screamed at. FU J/C
You know there's something I thought I didn't explore (which I sorta do with Morgan/Lena and Kiara in Season Two), and that's the fact that J/C get two daughters without ever getting together. Kiara appears out of nowhere, Morgan's the future version so also out of nowhere. This changes their and others lives, inevitably leading to this drunken wedding. Maybe in a weak moment one or both blames the girls for their predicment or is resentful in a fleeting thought but feels shame for it.
This isn't a spoiler for Reboot One, no worries there. It's never been on the cards, it doesn't suit either characters. This we're looking at is not it, I doubt it. It's poor writing, likely an attempt to make the lock up justifiable later.
Kiara ran towards the turbolift crying her eyes out. B'Elanna walked up to her.
"What's wrong sweetheart?" she asked softly.
"My mum and dad yelled at me," Kiara cried.
"So, mum and dad yell at me all the time," Morgan muttered.
Aaaw. I'm a little sad Morgan doesn't stick up for her or comfort her, but hey, just because she's the "big sister" doesn't mean she has to hide what she's feeling about this away. It's not healthy. I've also got proof about what I said above, Morgan's already had this and it's why she's so upset throughout the ep.
Also it pretty much reminds me of Season Two. Morgan has problems, Kiara has related problems, but nothing really gets done or anything until its Kiara. Morgan constantly feels like nobody cares about her and unfortunately does start to blame Kiara because they're too preoccupied with the kid. It doesn't paint Morgan in the best light but IMO is understandable. Yeah Morgan's older and so Kiara needs more protection and understanding etc, but especially in Season Two Morgan who is still a kid at 17 is treated quite badly. She just blames the wrong person. She's still young and makes mistakes, alienating Kiara. I'm talking a lot about this as apart from a few instances in S2 I'm really proud of Kiara and Morgan's relationship. Its complicated, messy and despite its paradoxy core feels realistic to me. I guess this is the first sign of trouble, so necessary I guess.
"He probably didn't want to start an argument, it obviously didn't work," B'Elanna said.
"We have to get those two back together," Tom said.
We do? That doesn't fix what they did to Kiara here.
"I'll think of a way, I always do," Tom said.
"Uhoh. It starts," Jessie muttered.
"Oh be quiet," Tom said.
Haha Jess, she's right. Tom probably meddles in his sleep
"Don't tell me to be quiet you dips***!" Jessie yelled.
For some reason the writers appeared behind the command chairs.
Aaaw hell no
"What's wrong with you two? We made a plot for this episode ages ago and now you're ignoring it," Marill moaned.
First Drinking Game, now this... why is Past Marill complaining about the same stuff I do now? What happened? Too bad I can't fully remember what's been ignored. I assume because of the title this discussion is neccessary, no?
"Mine. It makes a good story. The addictiveness of Cherry Coke is killing drones, what's wrong with that?" Raichu asked.
Haha Raichu, you're so funny
"Don't you think we put Cherry Coke in stories a little too much?" Marill asked.
Seriously, was I sick?
"Ooh, it's that pest again," Firera moaned.
"You know what, we haven't done the motto in a while," Marill said.
Never mind, back to normal
A while was last episode Marill. I know you didn't get to but it wasn't a while if we include yours, Prepare For Trouble ffs.
Firera points it out and then...
Motto Count: 1
One more for the road??? I hope we've seen the back of them now. I doubt it.
The writers disappeared for a few seconds and then returned with baseball clothes on.
"Attention lovebirds, it's prepare for trouble day," Marill said.
Yeah I have no idea either
Other than the baseball outfits was because a recent motto looked like this, and had similar lines.
"To excite our side with a big oblation," Raichu said.
Um, a thesaurus with this word in it please? Mine doesn't.
Marill suddenly had a ball in her hands. She prepared to throw it. "Fifth Voyager, throws their baseballs at the speed of light!" she said as she threw the ball. As usual her aim didn't work and instead of Raichu catching it, James did.
Yep thought so, wasn't sure so I didn't type it yet. The motto's shippy. The writers won't do this, so best drag James (and Jessie) into it since well... come on you know this by now!
"This reminds me of that stupid Pokémon episode," Raichu muttered.
"What, when Team Rocket ran into each others arms and a Lion King background came up," Marill laughed.
They get distracted during their own motto. I'm okay with this. Even if it is another I must explain my references moment.
"Ooh, into each others arms you say," Tom said.
"Not like that. They were just happy and they ran into each others arms and give each other a big hug," Raichu said.
Raichu: NO KISS
Marill: It's NOW KISS
Raichu: To hell it is
"It's nothing I haven't seen before, geez. The way you go on it's like they've never hugged before in their entire life," Marill muttered.
"But it was so romantic. They hugged each other just because they were happy and it's so heart warming," Firera said. Marill pretended to be sick.
One last Marill is not really a shipper HONEST denial retcon for the road as well.
"Romantic did you say? You two should have done what those cartoon characters did," Tom said. Jessie and James looked at him oddly.
You saw that coming. It's why James caught the ball.
"What do you mean?" James asked.
"Yeah, I wasn't listening," Jessie muttered.
Good advice. I should take it to heart
"If it was Tom that said it, you know what the means, Jess," James said.
"Rule number twenty four, beat Tom up," Jessie replied.
Strange, isn't that rule number 1? Maybe it's both 1 and 24
"Uhoh," Tom muttered. He ran into the turbolift. Jessie and James just laughed at him and they stayed where they were.
haha nice one
"How do you plan to get me inside Unimatrix Zero?" Morgan asked.
"It's simple, I'll connect you to my cortical node. Then we both go into our regeneration cycle," Seven replied.
This is the part where they try it and it doesn't work, overloads and kills Seven.
Oops spoilt the reboot, sorry guys!
Am I joking. Who knows??? *ominous music*
Chakotay has to drop off a report at Janeway's quarters tonight at 0900.
I WAS JOKING EARLIER YOU BASTA.............
Marill Re-Reads will be back after she talks herself out of hanging herself. Or deleting Season One as promised in the last review. Herself
Ok I'm still cranky, I still hurt, I'm tired. I'm near the end though. I wanted to write today, why did I do this? This is terrible. I probably could've written a better Thrown Key when I was half passed out from or more accurately coughing out my flu meds... and lungs. God damn.
blah blah Tom says he'll lock Chakotay in when he has to deliver a report to Janeway. B'Elanna thinks this is a great idea, completely forgetting there are kids involved in this and probably don't check if they're there before doing this.
Back in Unimatrix Zero Morgan tries to escape her woes by going into the CC factory. Axum introduces himself, and Morgan explains that Janeway wants to help them but they have no plan.
Which is kinda what Seven told him earlier.
They heard a scream. They turned to face where the scream had come from. A young woman was being chased by a couple of Borg Drones.
"Ohno, how did they get here?" Seven asked.
"Oh crap! My predictions were correct," Morgan said.
I'm sorry, what?
"What predictions?" Seven asked.
"One more drone would give the Queen a clue to how to get into Unimatrix Zero. I think they're gonna to destroy it from the inside," Morgan replied.
I'm sorry again Morgan but what?
Don't pull stuff from your ass, it stinks
Axum said this would happen. He wasn't specific to "one more", which btw is laughable as Morgan has no frame of reference to how many drones have been caught between visits. This is just Morgan being more special than Seven. Sorry! I'm a lot less forgiving right now.
"That isn't possible. We haven't got enough people to fight them. Maybe, you could help us fight them," Axum said.
"We can't help in that way. It'll break the prime directive, a little more than usual," Morgan said.
"Sorry. My mum does break the prime directive once in a while but she would draw the line here. I'm going," Morgan said. She disappeared.
Ok scratch that, I don't need to rewrite that Morgan gets hooked into Unimatrix Zero scene after all.
It's bollocks anyway. What was the point of her going in? I remember Axum wanted to speak to Janeway, in the original he could via the same way. Only we got Morgan for some reason and the pay off was Morgan saying "ohmy gawd rules I've never gave a crap about, I must follow them, kthanksbye!"
I remember Janeway badassing a drone with a batleth, and yet Morgan flees at the first sign of trouble? Morgan caring about the Prime Directive when Janeway declares all out war with the Borg? AM I IN BACKWARDS WORLD. No seriously, I wrote Morgan as a fighter so why put her in a scene if she's not going to do at least what Janeway did? (ok I know in a previous review I said Morgan was more likely to act Chakotay-y in these sorts of things than Janeway, but not now. She's still a fiery 16 year old).
I'm about done with this one
"I told you, it's not my name anymore," Seven replied.
"Then what is it then?" Axum asked.
"It is Seven of Nine," Seven replied.
"That's your Borg Designation," Axum said.
"It is also my name," Seven said. She disappeared.
This is some deep s$$$, I'm so moved.
Tom and B'Elanna were standing at Harry's station. They were trying to keep a straight face. Harry looked shocked.
"You did what?" Harry asked.
"We locked them in their quarters," Tom replied
I get Tom doing this and finding it hilarious (he's probaby planted cameras and already scripted the Tom Spies Show for tomorrow morning). B'Elanna though? The pregnancy has warped her brain
Morgan and Kiara ran onto the Bridge.
"All right, which one of you wise guys locked our quarters up?" Morgan asked angrily
Good news is neither of the daughters are locked in with them.
Bad news is that was Janeway's quarters and their home, so yeah a three year old has nowhere to sleep. GREAT JOB
"I was taking Kiara back to our quarters at 0800 like I was suppo
OH MY GOD, YOU'RE LUCKY MY LAPTOP HAS NO INTERNET. THAT'S TWICE, TWICE SINCE I MADE THE DELETE SEASON ONE THREAT. I'LL DO IT, I SWEAR TO GOD. DON'T TEMPT ME
You know what, it might be an incentive to finish the reboot. Maybe not an actual delete but moved out of the Episode Archive into a reject archive.
Anyway either Morgan's taking Kiara back home in the morning, which I doubt, or she's taking her back at 8pm for her bedtime. No excuses this time, this is a genuine mistake and it's f$$$$$ annoying cos of how dumb it is. I thought I knew the 24 hour system. Was Starfleet's use of military time making me think it was a different system altogether? Dumbass kid.
So yeah Kiara and Morgan have nowhere to live and it's after 8pm, remember Kiara's 3. Great job!
Only detail I like is that Morgan spends the rest of her days with Kiara, and I'm sure I've seen evidence of this in other episodes. Craig hasn't been a babysitter in yonks, James/Jessie too. I'd say it's obvious who took the job. Not that she's any good, we've seen Kiara off on her own too many times.
"Since when would you care about your quarters. You barely spend any time in it," Craig asked.
Probably because her parents keep arguing. Keep up Craig and close your mouth sometime, the drool is leaving puddles on the carpet. Harry won't be best pleased with you.
"I left my Cherry Coke in there!" Morgan screamed, she was nearly crying. Tom walked up to her.
Oh we're going with this reason are we. Okay? I'm cool with that........... *twitch*
can't have anything serious in this story, can we? My reason was fine.
"I lied. It was me and B'Elanna," Tom said as soon as the door closed.
"YOU B******! Why did you do it!" Morgan yelled.
YOU HIT HIM RIGHT NOW
"My dad's in there too?" Morgan questioned.
"Yes," Tom replied.
"Oh great, I was going to ask him for rations," Morgan muttered.
Okay the episode starts off by making you feel sorry for her for genuine reasons, I mean god, surely people who hate her would feel for her. But no, can't have that. IT'S NOT FUNNY. OHNOES MY CHERRY COKE BOTTLE WAS IN THERE. It wouldn't be so annoying if she hadn't forgotten about her previous issues. She could simply be annoyed that 1 Kiara can't go home, and 2 Tom's meddling again. It's so simple a 15 year old idiot can do it.... oh wait! A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD DIDN'T
"We'll get them out in two days time, I'm sure you can live without Cherry Coke for that long," Tom said.
"You're a dead man," Morgan said. The ship shook violently. The red alert lights started flashing and the alarm sounded.
Did I miss something in my second breakdown of the year? Why two days?
*checks* no, of course there's no explanation for the two days, that'd be reasonable
What's also annoying about this storyline and may need a slight tweaking if I keep it for the reboot, is that Morgan at this point is the/a Slayer. I'm not spoiler colouring it. She admitted it and we see her putting up a good fight in Upendi. Any reason why she can't break down a door? I'm curious as to who does the first superhuman feat in FV or if it is even her. I refuse to believe that being a Games Slayer is being a Pokémon master with some fighting skillz by the end of Season One.
It's gonna be James isn't it. I remember Resistance well enough. Smashing someone's Borg-metal prothesis nose is gonna be the first. Oh well sigh.
God this is long. We're nearing the end, finally.
"Tuvok to all hands. Battlestations, Borg ship approaching. Repeat all hands to battlestations."
Morgan and Tom rushed out of the room as another attack shook the ship.
Oh yeah so far the basic Unimatrix Zero plot hasn't really gone off the rails. Apart from Morgan fleeing before the Queen sees her and snarls JANEWAY JUNIOR as she fires a dart at a Aqua poster, nothing's happened that would trigger a change to the plot. Yet here we are. Is the Borg Queen more pissed because she didn't see or know about Voyager interfering, or does she really hate Cherry Coke?
"Fire phasers," Tuvok said.
"As usual, no effect," Craig replied.
The last time Voyager fought the Borg they were more interested in playing Twister, and basically yawned at them. Though to be fair that was Dark Frontier, written AFTER this. So more of a gripe with Dark Frontier than this. Meh.
"Commander, they're firing a weird kind of beam," Harry said.
"What kind of beam?" Tuvok asked.
A CLIFFHANGER BEAM, OHNOES, ABANDON SHIP FOR THE FIVE MINUTES BETWEEN SEASONS. CUE THE DRAMATIC MUSIC
"It's a power drain. They're draining our shields, just like they did to the Enterprise in the first Borg episode," Harry said.
Ok I wouldn't make fun if you opened with this. I'd be fine and complimenting the use of a Borg weapon which was forgotten about.
"It's about time, they've never used that beam since that episode," Lilly said.
SEE, LILLY WON'T STOP TALKING LIKE A FOURTH WALL CHARACTER. SHUT UP FIRERA
Seriously how the f$$$$$$$$$$$$$ would Lilly know this? Oh she saw it on TV in the third dimension, GTFO
"Uhoh, our shields are down. You know what that means," Harry said.
"Divert power to shields," Tuvok said. The ship shook again.
"We can't, the shield emitters are off line," Harry said.
Quick Seven, throw your boobs at them, I mean implants, I mean nanoprobes at them. That solves everything.
About six Borg drones beamed onto the Bridge. One dematerialised behind Harry. Before he could defend himself, the assimilation tubules penetrated his neck. His skin turned grey and a nanoprobe emerged from his cheek. He dematerialised
That escalated quickly.
I bet Harry was picked out of a hat full of names of characters who aren't needed for the episode's Part 2 plot. This is bad, the Harry cleans the carpets joke and I'LL SEE YOU SOON HARRY will never happen. Forget everything else, this is the biggest tragedy of Thrown Key.
Everyone fired on the Borg drones. Quickly they adapted. One grabbed Tuvok from behind and it assimilated him. He dropped to the ground and he was quickly beamed away.
Two paragraphs. Two god damn paragraphs in a row. Just saying.
Btw the Borg are definitely dumbasses. Why beam them away? Harry and especially Tuvok could be useful here in Voyager's assimilation.
Everyone on the Bridge backed up against a wall to stop the sneak attacks.
Yeah, if I'm getting mugged I'm gonna press my back against the wall to stop it. That'll work! They won't get me from behind, why the sarcasm????
"Paris to Engineering," Tom said as he tapped his commbadge.
"Tom, there is no spare guest stars to be in Engineering," B'Elanna said. Lilly kept stepping to her right. Soon enough she had slipped into the Turbolift.
1) In another episode the Engineering can't respond because B'Elanna's not there gag would be funny. Here, I'm too tired and mad.
2) Also cliffhanger conveniences galore batman
3) Lilly gets out of the Bridge for a reason, I remember that basically (don't know what said reason is) but the way it's done once again isn't in Lilly's character. It makes it look like she's wimping out. Lilly's impulsively stubborn, she's very Janeway in that aspect and it gets her into all sorts of trouble. F$$$ off with this. I don't care if Part 2 shows her actually doing it to help, Part 1 has to stand on its own since its a season cliffhanger. It's like the "this is good" reaction Chakotay has at the end of Unimatrix Part 1. It's jarring without context.
"Good old Lilly, we'll finally have someone in Engineering," Tom said.
"Nope, I think she was chickening out," Morgan said.
"Then how come Jessie and James haven't moved a muscle?" Tom asked.
Good old Lilly, Tom says about a character who's been around for three full episodes and two halves (WD and this) who's also not really done anything but get drunk and join a band. YEAH GOOD OLD LILLY. SOMEONE'S BEEN READING KIDZ TREK, WHICH I'M IMPRESSED WITH SINCE THERE WERE ONLY TWO CHAPTERS WRITTEN WITH HER IN IT, AND ONE WAS A REBOOT RIPOFF
Gotta get one last James and Jessie are cowards joke/remark in before the season ends. It's not like both of them have done anything to show they're not wusses like fight against a Q's swarm of beasts, shoot torturous hostage takers, take part in a battle against aliens who are known for their ability to fight, scale mountains to rescue people, risk their lives whilst with a broken leg to save a villain from falling to her death despite it only happening because she wanted to kill her that way, visited a Borg complex to rescue someone, coaxed a zombie dinosaur over to him to save someone.
Nah, James and Jessie are yellow belly cowards, LOL DAMN YOU
Yeah this is a finale, I'm okay with this review being a go all out complainathon that's longer than any Season One episode. It makes sense to. It's needed.
The drones got closer and closer to everyone on the Bridge.
"What are we going to do?" Jessie asked in a trembling voice.
This I'm okay with though. Jessie being afraid of the Borg makes perfect sense and that's without even considering her past trauma. Borg aren't exactly known for their fashion sense and banging hairstyles.
"Morgan, does it hurt?" Tom asked. Despite the situation a few people laughed.
Wait, this is the inspiration for the ruin a dramatic cliffhanger with a joke re-occuring thing I still sometimes do? Really. Hahaha. It's not even funny, it just breaks the mood a bit. Having Tom ask this is weird as well.
As the drones got closer to the crew, their fears grew stronger and stronger.
"We are the Borg. Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own. Resistance is futile."
Written a tad better, this wouldn't be a bad cliffhanger. This part anyway. Having the shield emitters fail completely, the weird beam remarks, oh lol no one's in Engineering, the random nature of the Borg attack, the phasers not working, its all very forced. I had to finish the episode.
Don't get me wrong, this scene was planned in, it wasn't a rushed made up on the spot way to finish the season. It was meant to show in the end how different FV had ended up in comparison to Voyager, that all the changes lead to them being attacked instead of threatened. It's why I picked at the lack of changes in the episode itself since so far the plot was the same. If the point was the earlier episodes changed things, it didn't show in the earlier scenes.
All you can argue is the Queen's flipped her lid. That's a weak argument since only I can make it, what with insider knowledge. It's not been explained or shown why. It's a joke and nothing more to anyone who reads this. She's insane because FV is, that's probably what anyone will draw from this. FV's cliffhanger looks random and silly, but that I suppose suits the season.
Reboot Thrown Key, aka Resistance Is Futile, will have to do a much bigger job of showing the path has strayed so far from Unimatrix Zero so that the very different cliffhanger makes bloody sense. The season itself should've already pushed them slightly, Thrown/Resistance must though finish the job so to speak as Season Two was always where the series drifts completely away from Voyager and does its own thing.
Morgan's visit to UZ should be removed or altered, the Cherry Coke infection should have different origins that don't contradict everything, once Voyager is involved and the Borg must know this (they don't, Queenie doesn't see Morgan or Seven, they leave before the drones get to them) the path should alter further and further until the Borg decide enough's enough and attack.
Its really stupid that FV Voyager does nothing but get attacked, and yet Unimatrix Zero Queenie sees Original Janeway's involved and in response only threatens Harry. If you're not invested in the series and don't get "this is another dimension" vibes from it, this we should agree on and should be fixed for the reboot.
I have to say I'm very very disappointed in Thrown Key as a finale. As I said in the opening, it did have potential but like most it was squandered. Part 2 I don't remember being much better but at least the moments I do like are coming; (SPOILERS!) the Queen's vendetta with the poster, Morgan and Queen's final meeting (lol Season Four Lullaby, such a troll), Cherry Coke drunk drones.
At least when this was new there was only a couple of months until the second part was released, and three better episodes were done in between. Ah well. A poor end to an average season.
Well let's see how everything tallies up, for the most part. I'll post the final true scores in the End of Season One review, or whatever I end up calling it. For now I'll post only Thrown Key's stats. Why? Well some of the counts I did started late, for example Jessie's Sin Counter so older episodes reviews need a quick skim through.
1) Opening is awful and...
2) Lilly being the character that Morgan first complains to about her parents fighting when she's only been around a few episodes. Morgan doesn't talk to Craig or Tani about this, who are supposed to be her friends. It's another example of characters being forced into certain roles so they can be included in scenes.
3) The J/C turn against each other is fine, it's planned in, is the point of the episode but it took a step into ridiculousness when they decided to scream at their 3 year old daughter for daring to hear their argument. I lost any respect for them right there and then. The reactions to Kiara mentioning this to others is really lowkey considering the girl's in tears.
4) The Cherry Coke factory has so many things wrong with it. Luckily I dont fancy listing them again.
5) There's no reason given as to why Janeway can't speak for herself in Unimatrix Zero like the original (perhaps maybe, she could've been already trapped in her quarters. See you don't have to technobabble or pretend there is any to get out of an issue like this). It's brushed off so Morgan can do it instead.
Which turns out to be pointless. I figured she would be there to change up the events of the episode and/or fight like her mum did during the Borg invasion. Nope. She says they have no plan and leaves. Pointless.
6) The Conference Room scene. It's got nothing to do with the episode, it's only there to glorify the new characters to teenagers, and annoy the adults (and Marill). J/C's argument could've been anywhere.
7) I can't complain enough about the James and Jessie are wimps jokes. It's no longer me whining because I've got my modern day versions in my head. As mentioned in the review the pair prove they really aren't before Season Two. It's annoying as well as wrong.
8) The writers just have to appear, don't they?
9) Lilly's only been around a few episodes and I'm already tired of her fourth wall style banter. World Domination and its stupid Lilly took Firera's place bulls$$$ retcon is stinking up the rest of the season. Don't get me started again on Tom's "good old Lilly" comment.
10) The cliffhanger only happens because everything just happens to go wrong in those few seconds. It screams hysterically "convenient". Pretty embarrassing for a supposedly plotted in scene.
11) Unimatrix Zero's part of the story barely gets going, nothing happens with it but exposition. Morgan's lack of interaction in there means the Borg have no reason to believe Voyager is involved, unlike the original, and yet they attack Voyager with a full assimilation assault because...? It's backwards. If any of the Voyager's are gonna be attacked, wouldn't the original make more sense?
It's really wasted. Unimatrix Zero, or whatever the hell episode I would've chucked into Thrown Key's locked up premise, was supposed to be the final Voyager episode. Whatever happened in it would push Fifth Voyager's crew completely out of the original Voyager's path. While "Third"/First Voyager slips into the seventh season and gets home after a year, Fifth Voyager would go in another direction and miss that completely (at least until Fair Chance, which was planned as the Season (Eight!?)Three finale back then).
Season One's purpose was to show original episodes being altered because of Kiara and then Morgan's appearance, then this finale would finish the job. While S1 turned into a weird parody most of the time it still kinda did that. Thrown Key fails to show WHY Unimatrix Zero was altered. I don't buy Cherry Coke addicted drones, or even the Queen is simply insane and felt like attacking Voyager. The latter was never the full point. She still had to be provoked to do this and hell, she may as well have not been in the episode because that didn't happen.
12) Morgan's story in the episode is apparently forgotten about in favour of her leaving a Cherry Coke bottle in her quarters. She can easily be written to be upset by the J/C lockup without turning her back into the Season One New Character Template (loud, one track minded, drunken idiot basically). God forbid she acted like a Human being for the whole episode.
1) Morgan's story with her parents falling out and her state of mind, reactions to it is pretty good and such I feel for her. It was fine until the last scene.
2) Jessie has been such an utter bitch for the majority of the season, so it was a lovely surprise that she was the one that gave Morgan some sympathy and a place to sleep for the night. Especially with their history of not getting along. Yeah Upendi wasn't written here but it was generally planned, so it's still ok to keep that in mind when you think of this scene.
3) Despite its execution I feel its only fitting that the finale to Season One involves a Cherry Coke obstacle. It could've easily been the writers or a Pokémon battle (though writing that I'm suddenly worried about Part 2). If it was written better, and yes I will try, the idea that the Unimatrix Zero drones have an addiction and so when they're cut off with no memories of it they still get the cravings, isn't a bad one.
It could've been the first change to Unimatrix Zero that the episode needed, a first step towards Voyager's attack later. And it most certainly will be.
4) Crazy Borg Queen is never boring. Sure she's not her best here, still *shrug*
Marill's Rating: 2/10 ouch, with a review this long are you really surprised?
Exclaimed Count: 0
Muttered Count: 33
Motto Count: 1
Sexist Crap Count: 0
Jessie's Sin Points: Earned 0, Lost 6
Morgan the Sue Count: I keep forgetting to count these, 1 point for inserting Morgan into Unimatrix Zero and especially because she didn't do anything there.
Seven Dies Count: 0 Sad considering Thrown Key was originally her final episode before C/7 inspired me to keep her around *evil laugh*
James Kill Count: 0