Marill Re-Reads Interactions

Marill Re-Reads "Interactions"

The time has come *drumroll* it's time for Fifth Voyager to be OK.

I've got goosebumps, but that's probably because I've turned off the central heating. Maybe.

Okay let's be a tad serious for the moment. For a few episodes the quality of the series picks up, it looks like I was trying a little bit more. Interactions, Disconnected, Resistance and at a stretch Games Resistance, are loaded with character development, foreshadowing, introduces one of the main series antagonists, actually has half decent shipping scenes that doesn't make me want to bring out the dolls GIF (sometimes). It for a short period gets as good as FV will get until Season Four and the third prequel season.

That is until Dimension Jump hits the Internet and a s$$$storm is unleashed, turning FV back into the mindless OTT pap it has been since Muse, with a couple of exceptions. Fortunately though it doesn't last all too much, F9, Precise Timings and The Resurrection continue as if that never happened. Then The Slayers comes along and you'll feel like you're back in Season One again.

But anyway, getting WAY ahead of myself.

Now out of the Season Two Get Gud Period, Interactions isn't the best it has to offer. It had multiple edits over the years and I remember the main plot gets sidelined for character development. Though to be really fair to it, that was the point. The episode's just a shining light on an otherwise poor start to a hit & miss season. Anyway I'd rate the Get Gud episodes as so:

1st: Resistance (no contest)
2nd: Precise Timings (foreshadowing haven)
3rd: Resurrection (this is how you parody/ripoff something Marill)
4th: Disconnected (this isn't, but the James story in this is excellent)
5th: Interactions (top of my head, has a slow opening and the edits mentioned)
6th: Games Resistance (Pokémon match ruins an otherwise goodie)
7th: F9: Control Failure (would be higher but its been a while, forgotten most of it. I do know it's good and fixes the mess that was its prequel Dimension Jump)

OK: Saturday Night
Gotohell: Dimension Jump

Lets see if the Re-Reads changes that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Doctor sighed as he walked into his office. He looked on his desk, and he put another commbadge with his collection.

He thought, "great, looks like everyone has taken off their commbadges."

He sat down in his chair, then thought, "I know, I'll just wait until somebody comes in because they're ill."

INTRIGUE

"Commander, where is everybody?" Kathryn asked.

"According to the computer, the entire crew are in Sickbay," Tuvok replied.

pfffthhahahaha genuine lol

"No they're not. Everyone's had the same idea of dumping their commbadges so the Doctor doesn't find them," Kathryn said.

way to ruin it Jane

When does obvious stating stop?

Right on cue Chakotay walked in. "You're late, Commander," Kathryn said sternly.

"I know, I don't need anybody to tell me," Chakotay muttered.

Oh, they're back to being grouchy teenagers with each other. Shame, I liked the overly polite phase.

"Ohno, we're too late, we've stepped onto the Bridge," Morgan muttered.

"What do you mean?" Tuvok asked.

"Well you must of pumped or something, cos nobody's here. Craig, hold your breath," Morgan said. Craig pretended to choke and collapse.

Morgan: you're 16, fine, I'll let you off THIS TIME

Craig: you're trying too hard. Even the 16 year old will probably think this is lame

"Yeah but it seems strange for everyone to be late," Craig said.

"Maybe the Doctor caught them, and he's going to get us," Morgan said.

NO ONE TOLD ME THIS WAS A HORROR EPISODE

"Please get to your stations," Tuvok ordered. Craig went over to the science station, and Morgan went over to console behind the command chairs.

Lol, Morgan has a job? And/or you told her to take a station and she DIDN'T take her mum's chair. Backwards universe.

"He said that he and Jessie can't go on duty again today, she's still ill," Morgan said.

"Maybe she should see the Doctor. She's been ill for a month," Tuvok said.

FORESHADOWING

"Morgan, please go back to their quarters. You can tell Ensign Stuart to get to his duty shift, and you can tell Miss Rex to get to Sickbay," Tuvok said.

That's a point, why couldn't James tell him? He's a bridge officer still, right?

I was about to whine that they could've called him, but then I remembered the commbadge bit and I lol'd again.

AND THEN I figured James must've chucked his and Jessie's commbadge away, so he could've clued Tuvok in while he was out. Lazy!

"Oh geez, I thought that argument had finished in Thrown Key," Tom muttered.

Finished's a funny word, Tom. I would say it was left hanging so...

"Well she doesn't know we're here yet. Nothing to worry about, it can't be that old argument," Harry said.

"I DON'T CARE EVEN IF WE HAD TWENTY KIDS! THAT MARRIAGE WAS A F****NG MISTAKE AND IT WAS YOUR FAULT!" Kathryn's voice screamed through the walls.

Oh ouch

At least Morgan left before hearing this. Thanks Tuvok you're the best, love ya man

FYI Janeway, both of your faults. Just saying

"MY MISTAKE? IT'S ALWAYS MY MISTAKE, IT'S NEVER YOURS! FACE THE FACTS, IT WAS YOU WHO WANTED TO GO ON THAT DRINKING GAME! I JUST JOINED IN BECAUSE YOU DID!" Chakotay screamed back.

HANG ON

*checks Voyager's Drinking Game*

"I'll give you some Cherry Coke if you come," Morgan said.

"I doubt the Captain would agree to a drinking game if you gave her a bottle of fizzy pop," Tuvok said. He saw Kathryn snatch the Cherry Coke off Morgan and she started drinking it.

"Ohno," Chakotay muttered.

"You got yourself another player," Kathryn said.

"What about you dad?" Morgan asked.

"Why should I go to this, drinking game?" Chakotay asked.

"It's fun," Morgan replied.

"And that's suppose to persuade me?" Chakotay asked.

"Yes," Morgan replied.

"Okay I'll come," Chakotay said.

Well, he's half right.

"OH YEAH?! IT WAS PROBABLY YOUR IDEA TO GET F****NG MARRIED!" Kathryn's voice yelled.

WE GET IT, THEY'RE SHOUTING. USING ALL CAPS TO SHOW OUTRAGE IS SO LAZY, GOD I'M GLAD I DON'T...stilldothat

"Oh great, locking them in their quarters didn't work," Tom muttered.

Did you realllly think it would?

"Well at least no other main characters are arguing too," Harry said.

"Is that a cue for it to happen, Harry?" Craig asked.

"No, it was a cue for it not to happen," Harry replied.

Touché

but it doesn't work that way *cracks knuckles*

"Yeah, and I've come to give you a message from Dumbo. He says that you should get to your duty shift and she should get to Sickbay," Morgan said.

OH LOOK GUYS IT'S THE HILARIOUS DUMBO JOKE AGAIN, SO FUNNY, IT NEVER GETS OLD

how's that for lazy

"Can you tell him to f**k off?" James asked.

I'm sure the Princess Sue of Edge would do this for free, yes

Wow, bit touchy aren't we? Great, now I need a similar nickname for James. I figured I had a whole episode, or two.

"Fine. I'll tell him myself," James said.

"Well, I hope the Brig is a nice to place to spend two weeks," Morgan muttered.

LEAVE TUVOK ALONE

And what Morgan, ha! I'm surprised you even know about brigs and consequences for saying rude s$$$

"You in the Brig? What did you do?" Morgan asked.

That bobble match of 01 was a blood bath. Many were maimed. It truly was the darkest of times.

"Several things. Punch Tom in the nose a few times, did an impression of Chakotay, called Janeway mum a few times, not all in the same day of course," James replied.

MEANWHILE IN PREQUEL SPOILER LAND

Hey I'm all for the James switcheroo, obviously, but leave that s$$$ in the prequels that were at the time sitting in a notebook. All it looks like here is ass pulling. Stop. I prefer the subtle intrigue until the erm, incident later.

This comes so out of nowhere, so dumb. No wonder I always remember his heel turn as being super abrupt. Quotes like that.

"Oh great. Mum? I'm not your bloody sister. And when did you do all this?" Morgan asked.

*BRB LOOKING FOR SUITABLE REACTION*

foreshadowing

He's going to answer with "DUH B4 FIFTH VOYAGER YOU N00B" ISN'T HE?

Though it helps with the writing timeline for these episodes, and I guess clears up The Love Spell mess.

Thrown Key was first, then Love Spell

I went on holiday and scribbled down the prequel eps Parallax and Eye of Ramn which starred; shipping, Tom being a s$$$, James' glorious smackdowns and an out of place J/C impersonation. It's not spoilers, James has already informed us so :P

Then I wrote Interactions, apparently a month later.

Explains the difference between the episodes in quality and in James' character. I credit the next 3/4 episodes for cementing his permanent persona into FV history, but the prequels seemed to have done the leg work. Interesting.

"About six years ago. Everything was really strict back then," James said.

He didn't, not in a fourth wall way. JAMES KEEP ON WINNING

"So.. er.. why are you never on duty? You're not sick too are you?" Morgan asked.

"No, I'm looking after her. It's better than working on the Bridge," James replied.

How... sweet?

"Who is it?" James asked.

"It's me!" the Doctor's voice yelled.

"Ohno," James muttered.

Ok the fear the Doctor joke is funny, but I must ask; why does James not want Jessie to not only find out what's wrong with her, but be cured? They're only hiding from him because no one likes the physicals, but for all we know Jessie is dying. It's been a month.

"Er.. you can't come in because the door's jammed," James said. The door opened and the Doctor strode in.

"It seems fine to me," the Doctor said in a cheerful manner

hehe

I'm sorry, this might be pants to you but after the last god knows how many bad episodes, this is gold

"Oh god, she's going to kill me," James muttered.

OH, that's why

"She told me not to let you in," James said.

"Well you didn't, I let myself in. So, where is she?" the Doctor asked.

How nice. Why are people avoiding you?

"Go to hell, Doctor. I don't need your help," Jessie muttered. She put her hand over her mouth and she ran out of the room again.

I... hope she didn't just run into her bedroom. Or James'. Gross

"I'll go now," Morgan muttered. She headed towards the door.

"I'll be seeing you at 1100 hours Morgan, for your physical," the Doctor said.

Ooph, not so perfect now are you? Love Spell Super-Morgan would've sensed him coming and fled before he even arrived

"So, what's been the symptoms?" the Doctor asked as he picked up a tricorder.

"She's just been sick every now and then," James replied.

"I see, anything else. Pains, feeling more weak than usual?" the Doctor asked.

"Yeah," James replied.

Just A Little Bit More: 1 (oh is that all James?)

I hope that's an "all of the above" yeah and not "I wasn't listening" yeah. Hoping that sounds cruel.

"After I treat you," the Doctor replied as he looked at his tricorder. "I'm afraid, you'll have to come to Sickbay for a more detailed scan," the Doctor said.

Sooo the tricorder doesn't spot the problem?

Ah plot convenience

"Is this just a way to get me to go through that stupid physical?" Jessie asked.

"What a good idea," the Doctor cheerfully replied.

Hahaha you walked into that one Jess

In: "Janeway to Stuart. Get to your duty shift now!"

AAAH

(how did she do that when James doesn't have a commbadge...Iassume. goodlord, I'm scared... of plotholes)

Jessie was sitting on the bio bed waiting for the Doctor to come back out of his office. Finally after two minutes he came out. He had a worried expression on his face as he came up to her.

Lol, I'm getting deja vu here. And not the good kind.

What's in his office that helps him confirm these things, enquiring minds want to know.

"There are some things I need to discuss with you about your condition," the Doctor replied. Jessie stood up and she headed out of the door.

1) No more make up, you're allergic

2) The skin on your legs is super sensitive from a rash, best wear skirts for 2 weeks

3) What are you doing with that noose?

"That's nice, maybe later," she said. He took a hold of her arm to stop her. She turned around to face him. "Fine, but be quick."

"There's never an easy way to say this but you're..." the Doctor said.

hoh boy

"Am I dying?" Jessie asked in a sarcastic manner.

"No, you're pregnant," the Doctor said. Jessie fainted. "I guess she wasn't expecting that," the Doctor muttered

Yeah, no s$$$ Doc

oh sorry, DUN DUN DUNNNNN!

"How can it be possible?" Jessie asked as she sat up.

"It's simple.." the Doctor eagerly replied.

I hate Aggressions Part 2 as much as the next reasonable person, but that's the best and only good bit to callback to so, awesome!

Love how eager he is. I'm sure he and Danny are secret best mates, having long chats since everyone else is too Marill-squeamish to put up with them.

"Okay. Number One, I don't have a boyfriend. Number Two, I think doing you know what is disgusting. Number Three, because of number two, well I'm a bloody virgin," Jessie replied.

Oh you numbered them. THANK YOU JESSIE, HOW KIND

1) Fair point

2) That's odd, I thought this sentence was always "Marill thinks doing you know what is disgusting." What a typo.

3) Well this and one go hand in hand, so yeah

"Ah, I see. This is a mystery," the Doctor muttered.

He says, but he's really thinking "oh god, does anyone on this ship have kids normally?"

"Didn't you hear my three points, it's not possible!" Jessie yelled.

"Maybe, that spell that was cast on the ship a month ago is responsible," the Doctor muttered.

Wow

That was blunt

"I can't be pregnant, I've not slept with anyone."

"Oh maybe you were forced against your will to sleep with someone thanks to some invading homophobic aliens. Sucks but gawd, that episode was hilarious."

"What love spell?" Jessie asked.

This gets better

Poor Jessie

"Didn't anybody tell you what that spell was? It made people fall in love with a person near by," the Doctor said.

"Well that narrows the father down to four people; James, Craig, Chakotay and.. er Tom. No other guy was on that planet," Jessie said.

1) James... you know what, why bother with this list. Fifth Voyager is not the daring kind of series, at least not yet, to do something like hook the woman claiming she's asexual with guys other than her shipping partner. Sorry to get your hopes up lawl

But credit to Jessie for thinking about this a little rationally after that bombshell. Basically she's wondering who was violated with her. Not an easy task.

"Three actually. Craig wasn't infected because he was too far away from any girls for once," the Doctor said.

Oh the irony, never picked up on that

Yeah, come on. Do you see a Tom and Jessie kid happening? Nope. Would Chakotay have another kid he can't remember making? Nope. The episode shouldn't humour this but at least it didn't jump straight into the obvious answer like a mad shipper.

"I'll check now, it won't take more than a few seconds," the Doctor replied.

Remember this when it takes hours or something to do DNA tests on adults. That's hard, but a month old fetus, NO PROBS

But I suppose Love Spell expected us to believe Jessie was impregnated instantly and jumped ahead to the morning sickness within a few hours. Think I'd forgotten? LOLnope

"Good news. It isn't Tom for a start," the Doctor said.

JUST GET ON WITH IT, WE ALL KNOW THE ANSWER

"Oh, that's just great," Jessie muttered sarcastically. The Doctor smiled.

"What's wrong, I thought you'd be happy that it was James, and not anybody else," the Doctor said.

Yeaaah, only a naive shipper would think she'd do cartwheels after hearing this.

YAY I WAS DRUG-RAPED BY ALIENS AND NOW KNOCKED UP BY MY FELLOW DRUG-RAPEE BEST FRIEND. PARTAY!

dumbass

"Everything! Pretty soon, I won't have a best friend," Jessie replied angrily.

Okay warning, I'll probably be reading this part of the scene with extra interest. I'll explain it when it's all over. But first, realistically Jessie has every right to be upset and to panic. But this is not what you'd expect would be the first thing she'd think of. It's a little, sad. At first glance does she think he's going to blame her for this? What makes she think he's going anywhere?

"That's not what I meant. I mean, we've been through something like this before, and we nearly broke up," Jessie said.

Oh we're jumping into the deep end, that's a legit surprise

Broke up

So a whole season of denial and "just friends", and Jessie blabs this. She's under stress, I guess things slip easily

"I thought everyone knew

No Jessie. Anything close to this in Season One were more "they obviously dig each other, why aren't they together?"

"I thought everyone knew about when we were sort of involved five, six years ago," Jessie muttered.

WHAT A TWIST

I imagine for anyone reading this when it was new, they'd be a little mad to be honest. These two are no longer a will they/probably will pairing. You've missed something juicy all this time. Sorry folks

"I don't think anybody did. Wait a sec, you were involved with him, that's great, are you still?" the Doctor asked.

Doc's reaction time's a little slow

But he confirms what I said above. No one knew anything.

"No, I said I haven't got a boyfriend, didn't I.

To be fair, you've kept this a bloody good secret. Remember all my talk about Jessie and her denial, the fear of losing her friendship with him all throughout Season One. Keep that in mind. This isn't a retcon, this was the intention. How this scene is written isn't, mind you.

Anyway big paragraph ahoy

"No, I said I haven't got a boyfriend, didn't I. In the second year of the trip home, that alien from 'The Grove of H'Taria' made us go through this ceremony. Near the end the alien told us that we had to consummate the ceremony. I told him that I wouldn't do anything like that with him, and he was rather angry with me. I mentally slapped myself, I meant to say I wouldn't do anything like that with anybody, so he took it personally. If it wasn't for Tom we wouldn't be friends anymore," Jessie replied.

Okay so many thoughts, organising time:

1) The prequels were still in the barebones planning stage. Only a few episodes that made it were planned out. Grove of H'Taria was I believe the first. I guess Blood Oath was the first, but Grove was the first that was created for the prequels. Resolutions you could argue but that's not an original ep.

2) Note she says second year, not second season. Grove was always a B4FV Season Three episode. I noticed during a Voyager watchthrough that Season Three was only 18 months into the trip. I had already screwed up with the September 2370 launch date, which is why Scorpion/Aggressions was based in 2373. And so this caused quite a timeline stir whilst planning this exact storyline. More on that later.

3) Jessie's story doesn't paint James in the best light. He got mad at me because I wouldn't sleep with him for some ritual. Boyfriend or not, what a jerk.

4) Wasn't for Tom we wouldn't be friends anymore? Yeah this was an issue. I don't know where this came from or what the intention was, so when I got to this episode many years later I did my research (I know!), found this comment and had to wing it. Not good.

and note yes, we're taking Jessie at face value for the time being

"Well, he did manage to quickly fix things up between us without finding out why we broke up in the first place. Now you see why I'm not happy with this," Jessie replied.

Yeah, no. No I don't. But ok we'll go with it.

"I understand. You think that he'll break up with you if he finds out," the Doctor said.

Did you miss the part where she said she wasn't dating him anymore?

"Yes, that's why I want you to get rid of this kid before he finds out," Jessie said.

"But, my program can't allow the murder of anybody," the Doctor said.

OH SHOOT, MISSED ONE

Probably shouldn't mention this note: due to being ignorant and my upbringing, FV had some uncomfortable stances on this subject. Quite ashamed of it now and that's why a lot of it has been deleted. Maybe I kept this as I figured a medical hologram would have this stance.

"I'll have to get Lee or Tom to do it, my program won't allow it," the Doctor said.

"You must be kidding, I'm not letting either of those two to go near me. Doctor, please do this for me, just this once," Jessie said.

"When do you want it done?" the Doctor asked.

That was easy

Look Doc, or anyone, whatever your belief is on the matter, cast that aside for a second and think about this situation. Jessie didn't consent to this. Neither did James. Aliens did this to them so they wouldn't interfere with a ship takeover, and they couldn't anyway. This isn't time for a "should've been more careful" lecture, they had no choice in this matter. Jessie shouldn't have to go through with this, surely most would agree there. I hope but the world's been sickening to me the last few years.

Anyway scene end.

If you're reading this with me, or not interested in serious business click the link to skip ahead.

Spoilers for the prequels:

First things first. This storyline was not set in stone. It went through quite a bit of changing around before I finally wrote it. However, the changes aren't what you think. Some may look at this scene and think I've committed the usual prequel sin a lot of people do, completely retconned the backstory. Nope. There was always a ritual with a last rite being consummated. Yes it sparked tension between James and Jessie. Yes they were together in the past, when that was eventually decided (I'll admit it wasn't entirely immediate, but remember their roots). Only the Tom part is truly shaky, and even then it's only because I forgot what part he played.

So, what then? Remind yourselves, what has Jessie done throughout the entire series so far in regards to James? Deny her ass off. Even while writing this episode in 2001 the intention was for her to avoid some parts and fudge some of the details. Let's look again:

and

"Okay. Number One, I don't have a boyfriend. Number Two, I think doing you know what is disgusting. Number Three, because of number two, well I'm a bloody virgin," Jessie replied.

AND

"That's not what I meant. I mean, we've been through something like this before, and we nearly broke up," Jessie said.

"I thought everyone knew about when we were sort of involved five, six years ago," Jessie muttered.

This is all from the same girl who would cry eew if they insinuated anything. She's saying an awful lot here. The only denial I see in tone is the second quote.

Basically what I wanted from this scene was to quietly show that she was hiding a very important part of this story. And here's the clue as to what:

"Everything! Pretty soon, I won't have a best friend," Jessie replied angrily.

This is her initial response to the he's the baby daddy reveal. A story about their near-miss ritual and later fight, I guess is sorta related, but still a bit of a stretch. If you're reading this spoiler bit you should know what happened, if not, hmph! She'll have blurted this out in anger and panic, but quickly realised she's dug herself into a hole. She has to explain. And so this modified version of the true story comes pouring out.

While we're still in spoiler territory. Seriously walk away if you don't know what I'm talking about above:

FYI the changes I mentioned? All to do with the dates issue I mentioned. Once I figured out I screwed up a lot, I tried to fix it, only realising that doing so would mean the pregnancy was super short. I didn't want to change which episode it was, without changing Grove of H'Taria's plot. So. Yeah. Grove of H'Taria was still the episode that caused the rift, but it wasn't thee episode it happened, and it never was the one the fight happened in.

One thing I feel I must make clear before we move on:

Near the end the alien told us that we had to consummate the ceremony. I told him that I wouldn't do anything like that with him, and he was rather angry with me.

Ok to be as vague as possible. Yeah you're right to be mad about how this situation played out, Jess. Yes there was a certain point where James did act like an asshole. But it's not cool painting him as one of those entitled guys. Readers I ask you, did James ever strike you as someone who'd make a stink about this? He'd probably be in the same camp as her. If you're going to tell a story, at least make it believable, says hypocrite Marill.

I whine but I'm not gonna sin her for this. She's been through quite a shock.

However if Danny had a Sin Count, she'd get a 100 for the next bit:

"Hey, that's actually quite cool," Danny said excitedly.

"Cool? Why's it cool?" Jessie asked.

"Well I found out the other day that I'm two weeks pregnant. We can be pregnant together," Danny said.

Jessie needs better (girl)friends.

"Danny, I'm having an abortion," Jessie said.

"No, you can't do that. I thought that it would be cool to go through this together," Danny said.

F*** off Danny. Jessie's not gonna go through a life changing event just so you can save money/rations on a shared naming party or whatever these daft kids do nowadays.

"Sorry Danny, if he finds out it'll kill us both," Jessie said.

"No it won't. I've told you before, he has this big crush on you still, and he'll be happy about it," Danny said.

brb, erasing this bitch from the series (or getting a coffee because I'm lazily furious)

Back

Okay. This isn't some silly little situation like Jessie accidentally sending her diary entry with the words; "James is such a hottie, I love how random he is. Rawr!" as an email to James instead of saving it into her private documents. No. That line above would fit there. It might still be wrong, he'd be thinking "oh s$$$, this is awkward," and then convince himself he's been hacked.

But this is NOT what you say to a girl who doesn't remember sleeping with her best friend because of some alien virus, who she did have a relationship with in the past that ended badly, and getting pregnant from it. It's not in the same ballpark, it's in the carpark outside. I repeat F*** off Danny. James possibly crushing on Jessie isn't going to make this situation all unicorns and rainbows. He's not going to be OMG LET'S GET HITCHED I WUV YOU with a stupid grin on his face. Apart from maybe Booth, WHO'D DO THIS?

Also in a kinda spoilery territory way, two more questions

1) Does Danny have any clue about this past relationship? Clearly, as she's used STILL twice. However, if she did she'd know about the fallout. Whyyyy?

2) Did I not read the whole episode before I wrote the scenes Jessie's hinted at in the prequels? Some stuff can be explained away but Danny's NOW KISS behaviour is the absolute opposite of what should be happening.

"Jess, he'll find out about this, one way or another. And I'll tell you something, having an abortion is what's going to make things worse between the two of you," Danny said.

"That's where you're wrong," Jessie said.

Why would he find out? For that matter, that brings up two more questions.

1) Why did Jessie tell Danny at all if she were going to abort?

2) How did Jessie plan to keep up her friendship with James with this MASSIVE secret in her mind for the rest of their lives?

As for the rest of the quote, it's something that's bugged me about Interactions and has been the main reason for its edits. Jessie's well within her right to get this abortion and move on how she sees fit. It's her body. Yes it sucks that James hasn't really got a leg to stand on, that if he wanted this kid there's not a sodding thing he can morally do (don't you dare contact me to convince me otherwise. I'll all caps troll the crap out of you).

So yeah Jessie's doing what's right for her, I'm all for. It's everyone else. Danny can go to hell. Doc is more than his program, that's if his "do no harm" actually applies here, he's a person and shouldn't have been all "nooo its wrong" at her.

Then there's James, who I remember not reacting well. Come on, you know this'll come out. I don't care about that spoiler. It's so obvious. Although he pissed me off in earlier versions with his OOC assholeness, and I think I got everything (not to say he still doesn't react, that'd be dumb), when he calms down he's nothing but understanding and has so much respect for her. It's nice and why he'll always be my favourite male mc of FV.

Let's take a look and get the crap out of the way first though.

"Am I interrupting something here?" James muttered.

"No, of course not. I just told her that I'm pregnant, with twins," Danny said.

"Twins? You didn't mention that!" Jessie stuttered.

Oh god, now she's going to keep tapping Jessie's belly in a vain attempt to make her have twins so her kids have playdates (or just dates knowing Danny)

"Oh yeah, they're pretty common nowadays and space travel is to blame," Danny said. She finished her drink. "Well, I'd better get back to duty. I'm going to replicate some snacks first though, I'm eating for three now. See ya guys," Danny said and she stood up. She headed over to the replicator. James sat down next to Jessie.

Ding dong the witch has gone

"Twins? They're not even married and she's already pregnant," James said.

This line after what I said, he's er, still not very consistent. I bet this is a "careful what you say about your own situation without knowing it" remark, but eugh

"Boring. Everyone was really quiet. Then Janeway and Chakotay went into the Ready Room to have another fight. Pretty soon they'll be having boxing matches," James replied.

THE FIGHT 2: MEAN RIGHT GLARE coming soon to fifthvoyager.net

"I couldn't really imagine Danny with kids, could you?" James said suddenly.

Now see, this is a comment I can get behind.

"What? No, it can happen to anyone can't it. What are we doing tonight?" Jessie muttered.

"Why do you keep changing the subject?" James asked.

uhoh busted!

B'Elanna walked up to them both holding Bryan. "Hi guys," she said happily.

"Hi B'Elanna, hows the baby?" James asked. Jessie felt like killing herself.

Now all we need is Kiara being cute and poor Jessie has had her guilt tripped into the mains.

"Great. I love him so much, believe me, if you ever have a child you'll love it, trust me," B'Elanna replied.

ohno

"Quit talking about babies for crying out loud!" Jessie screamed. She rested her head on the table and she started to cry.

Yeah, Jessie should totally have this baby she didn't want for Danny's sake. She seems totally cool with it.

Once you know the actual backstory this whole story and in particular this reaction hits a lot harder IMO.

"Shut that damn thing up! I can't stand it any longer," Jessie said angrily.

"He's not a thing, he's a baby," B'Elanna said. She rocked Bryan a little and he immediately stopped crying.

"Jessie, what the hell's wrong with you?" James asked.

Jessie saying what I'm thinking since 2001

Yeah she was rude but you gotta give her a pass.

"Oh, it's starting already, I may as well commit suicide now," Jessie muttered to herself.

Jesus

"Oh we do, maybe we can help," B'Elanna said.

"Well, you know that weird love spell that was cast on everyone a month ago," Jessie said.

"Yeah," B'Elanna replied.

"No," James said in a confused tone of voice.

already awkward

"That spell that was on everyone was a love spell. Go on Jess," B'Elanna said.

OH I GET IT NOAW, THANKS!

"Well, I was supposedly drunk during it so.. er I don't know how to say it," Jessie said.

"Just say it, we're your friends," B'Elanna said softly.

Um, maybe just maybe we should have this conversation separately.

"I'm pregnant," Jessie muttered.

Okay, nope. She was so adamant he shouldn't know, and yet with barely any prodding. Jessie's so not herself with this, it's sad

James reacts as you'd expect

"What!?" James exclaimed.

"Oh my god, who?" B'Elanna asked.

Exclaimed C... oh sorry, wrong season

Why does the who matter right now, huh?

"I want to know who that b****rd is, Jessie. Tell us," James said.

THIS IS AWKWARD

Okay wow. Normally I'd pick apart James' really really angry WHO IS HE, I'LL BOBBLE THROW HIM, as it seems really possessive and jealous (though the latter could be right). But I guess the Love Spell and being drunk was mentioned as the cause, and I've said how creepy her getting pregnant via this was.

"Erm, you shouldn't of called him that," Jessie muttered.

"Why not?" James asked.

UM BECAUSE, UM WELL... OH MY GOD NEELIX IS BEHIND YOU WITH A PIE *runs*

Of course because Interactions wants to get to the point again, this does not happen.

"Because you're that b****rd, there I said it. Are you both happy now?" Jessie said. B'Elanna and James were staring at her gobsmacked.

No, the kid's the bastard technically. Just saying.

"This can't be happening," James muttered.

Wow Danny was right, James is sosooooo happy right now

"It'll be over with soon. I'm getting an abortion," Jessie said.

"And did you plan on telling me about this at all?" James asked.

hmmmm

"Well, no, I didn't want to ruin what we have," Jessie said quietly.

"An abortion is your solution? I didn't think you would even think of it," James said.

ouch, this is painful

"No, I won't. Don't you think that I have a say in this too?" James asked.

There it is

There's the bit me no like

stfu

I know guys, it sucks when you want the kid but she's aborting or you don't and she's not, but you don't have to carry it for 9 months. As Rachel would say, "no uterus no opinion."

"Of course, that's why I didn't want to tell you," Jessie said.

Jesus Jessie, this is Fifth Voyager. Copy that Friends line, it's the FV way, quick, no!!! aaah!!

"You, I can't believe you," James said angrily and he stormed out of the room.

*dead*

Oh dear. That wasn't as bad as I remember, I can't remember how extensive my edits were though. I do "like" how the tension she predicted between her and James only happened because she was trying to prevent it. Not well though. I doubt she meant for that line to come out that way, but holycrap

James can still gtfo with that "I want a say" part though. I know why it's there though. 16 year old me thought how awful it'd be for blokes to lose their potential kids because the mother didn't want it. I'm still with you, it sucks, I have sympathy. However pregnancy is awful, it's dangerous and you're stuck with the consequences for life. Isn't it worse to force someone you supposedly love, or even not, to go through that if they didn't want it and only because it's what you wanted? I really wanted to avoid writing stuff like this in the review, so moving on.

"I heard about Jessie," James replied.

"I see, how did you find out?" the Doctor asked.

"She told me.

Um ok, I forgot about this bit

James what are you doing. STAWP

She wants an abortion, please tell me you can't do it," James said.

OMG ME TOO! James' Out Of Character Bulls***: 1

No sorry, not buying it. James is extremely overprotective of Jessie. Why the f$$$ would he do this, behind her back. Actually, what is he doing? One way or another he's violating her wishes in order to put her through a condition that has already made her ill. This guy is an imposter and he can f$$$ right off

"That's good," James muttered.

DIE IN A FIRE FAKER

"I don't know yet, I've always hated the idea of abortion," James replied.

OH THIS, I FORGOT ABOUT THIS. NO, NO EXCUSES. NEVER FORGIVE

I DON'T THINK SCENE WILL BE MAKING IT INTO THE REBOOT SOMEHOW

And ahem. Yes, even with my change of opinion on abortion as I grew up, this characterisation had to stay. It sucks but it's there. Man Out Of You I think shows why he's so pro-life, unless this does. Thankfully he does grow out of it, but now's not the time.

"There are other options to it though. I know she won't listen to me, but she might listen to you," the Doctor said.

SHE BETTER NOT

HE'S A FAKE

I HATE THIS SCENE, CAN I SKIP IT

Sigh. This really pisses me off I'm sorry. I can't believe the editing process missed this whole scene. It's horrible. Let me sum it up; James is angry that Jessie didn't want him to know about her pregnancy and planned abortion, so he goes to Sickbay behind her back and hopes the Doc can't do it for her. The Doc's like PHEW, and lists other options for her. Morgan overhears due to telepathy and beats the s$$$ out of them bot... nah unfortunately that part doesn't happen.

She instead steals a bit from Pokémon where a girl teases a boy about his crush, and he responds with punching her on the head. It's slapstick, it's hilarious!!!!!"13124 Luckily FV turns it into a slap but the intent's still there.

She threatens payback on James and he walks out to cuddle some cats, before going clothes shopping so he can look fabulous for his date with Seven later. While they're making out she'll accidentally pull on his face, ripping it off, and the audience gasps! IT'S ASH KETCHUM, OH MY GOD, AND HE WON'T REST UNTIL HE'S DESTROYED TEAM ROCKET ONCE AND FOR ALL.

The scene changes not before Marill performs hopefully one last surgery on it. She then hopes Interactions once more lives up to its Get Gud status, as it's so far questioning her will to continue the review.

Kathryn and Chakotay were having another row in the Ready Room. Tuvok was at the Tactical station. Craig was at the Science station. Tom and Harry were talking at the Opps Station. Morgan was at the console behind the command chairs. James was at the Engineering station.

NOBODY CARES WHERE EVERYONE WAS

"Oh god, it's a temporal wake. A temporal Game Cube must have landed somewhere," Morgan said.

Go home Morgan, you're drunk

For the love of coffee, please don't tell me the first Game Cube they're affected by isnt a kind that never shows up again. You already turned James into a selfish monster who'd rather Jessie suffered not because he wants a kid but because his beliefs are more important, right after I said (oblivious of said scene) that James' later behaviour not only makes up for any s$$$ he said whilst angry/upset, but proved why he's my favourite of the boys. What else will this sodding episode do to me?

and it started out so well

anyway a temporal wake is heading for Voyager, and they don't know why and that's not important. Meanwhile for some unknown reason Interactions word count continues to rapidly decrease.

"According to our brand new convenient temporal scanners, we're in the year 2778," Harry replied.

"We've travelled four hundred years into our future," Kathryn muttered.

Exactly too. Maths is hard.

God, this episode has wiped me out. I hope when I return to this, I'm in a better mood and you'll notice the diff here.

"That's not all, there's a Human colony on a planet in the nearby system. In our time the planet was uninhabitable," Harry said.

That's an odd detail to mention. If you spotted a Human colony in the present then we'd have been talking about that instead of taking away Jessie's agency.

This is FV, what am I saying?

"The Humans in the colony should have temporal technology, remember the Erona?" Morgan replied.

"Crap, not them again," James muttered.

Ohnoes Vicky. Bwahahahaha, karma bitch!

Then again just because it's the same century as the Erona, doesn't mean they'll show up. It's a big univer...bwahahaha this is FV, what am I saying??

"Morgan, going to them and asking for help is against the prime directive," Kathryn said.

Um, isn't it the planet that have to worry about this, not you?

"Haven't we already broken it by being here?" Morgan asked.

"She has a point, Captain," Tuvok said.

"I think that we should send under cover away teams down to the surface, they may be able to find out about any temporal technology," Tuvok said.

This episode sure has a lot of imposters. Season Two has some funky episode titles too; Jokes Are Hard, The Bulls$$$ Spell and Imposters. I can't wait to read Frightenected and The Picacard Show.

Though now that I think about it, with Love Spell/Interactions' pregnancy by spell and booze, SPOILERS Disconnected's James backstory and Resistance's reason for its title, this season is off to a very rapey start. "Get it together Marill, what's the matter with you?" says someone who wrote Dark Clouds to someone who hasn't thought of Dark Clouds yet.

"Fine, we'll send four teams of two. Commander, you're in charge of it," Kathryn said to Chakotay.

"Okay then. Tom, Harry, James, you're with me. Chakotay to Henderson, Johnstone & Goldsbrough, report to transporter room 2," Chakotay said.

"That's only seven, Commander," Tom said. Everyone shuddered when he said seven.

WHO THE F£££ IS JOHNSTONE?

No seriously. omglol. Spoiler alert, Lilly's officially changed her name after whinging about it another ep, probably inspired by James' Stuart christening. So there you have it, Season Two is the rapey name changing shippathon. Bet you're extra eager to read this one, oh yeah! Still better than Season THE EDGE Three.

"Jessie is ill," James said.

"Well a breath of fresh air will do her some good, lets go," Chakotay said. Tom, Harry, James and Chakotay headed out. Morgan ran up to them.

Problem solved! Morgan once more saves the day and the rest of the season from the s$$$ stirrer Why oh Why. All hail our beautiful and powerful Sue.

wtfMarill?SPOILERS

But anyway seriously. James' ill line, what's the problem? The Jessie is pregnant so now she has a target gag hasn't really started yet. She's not actually ill, she's only a month along. Overprotective much? This is extreme even for him. And speaking of that, has the knowledge of it cured her of her all day sickness? Seems so?

"Oh fine, but you need someone to come with you," Chakotay said. Morgan ran over to Craig and she dragged him over.

Come on Morgan, you had your episode last time. Stop hogging. I know your game.

And Chakotay, I'd be worried if I were you.

"Okay, Harry you're with Emma. Tani you're with Lilly. James you're with Jessie. Morgan you're with Craig. And Tom you're with me," Chakotay said. A few people groaned as they split into their two's. "Remember, act like the natives. If anybody asks you, your shuttle needs a temporal device to repair it," Chakotay said.

Harry, you go with Emma as she fancies both you and I, Tom too, but you're really the only one of the trio without a 'ship so... pair up.

Tani, you're just filler, go with the other filler. I can barely tell the diff anyway.

James and Jessie, split up... hahaha just kidding! Those chains aren't coming off anytime soon.

Morgan my 16 year old daughter, I'm totally cool with pairing you up with the older man with a crush on you. I can't see how this can be an issue.

Tom, I need a punching bag. Let's do this thang!

One team had reached a large outdoor market place. They started to have a look around. Emma and Harry walked passed them. Harry was being dragged by Emma towards a huge pub. Jessie saw Lilly and Tani arguing with a salesman not to far away. She couldn't see Tom or Chakotay anywhere. James was not far away from her. He was sulking, she could tell even with his back to her.

Hey James...

*click*

Yeah I don't like cameras either, bwahahahaha. That'll teach you to huff.

Anyways

1) Outdoor market is fine. Place is not needed.

2) Why was "one team" labelled as such. It's James and Jessie's team.

3) Oh the salesman bit. Oh dear, snigger, I remember this... vaguely.

4) Jokes aside, Jessie being able to tell James is being a huffy puffy child without seeing his face is pretty telling. Not because of her, but again why I made fun of him for sulking. He must be putting on quite a show. sigh

She muttered to herself, "great, I wanted this abortion so that I could avoid a break up, but I'm doing it on my own. Danny was definitely right. But how can I fix it this time?"

Whut?

Danny was right about what? Is James sulking code for him doing cartwheels and planning a OMGI'M A DADDY party? Did I miss something?

And Jessie, stop confusing the readers with this "break up" language. You are not a couple.

James turned around, he was holding a strange piece of technology. "Do you have any idea what this is?" he asked.

This is directly after ^ so maybe James wasn't sulking, or he was and that's just his confused face.

"No," Jessie replied quietly. A man walked up to them and he took the device off James.

"It's a personal shield. It'll protect you from weapons fire. Do you want it, it's only 33,000," the man said.

Foreshadowing.

I usually say this in jest, sometimes... but this I know is the legit real thing. Kid Marill, what a dark rascal.

"But what'll protect you and family & friends from murderous people the next time you hit the town?" the man asked.

um um foreshadowing, yes we get it

"Look I don't f****ng want it! Do you understand!" James yelled. The man backed away like a coward, he saw another person to prey on and he ran over to them. Meanwhile Lilly and Tani were still arguing with another salesman.

I dunno, if someone shouted at me and used the F word I'd be backing off too. I know I would, experience. Though I am a coward. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Oh and James, you're going to regret this. Just saying.

"No, she doesn't want a stupid eye shadow that makes all guys fall in love with her!" Lilly yelled.

"Yes I do," Tani protested.

I take it Tani missed the Love Spell and wants a sequel.

Lilly thought, "ugh, I know what I have to do, but I hate doing it."

"Look.. er Tani, you don't need a potion to make the guys like you. Quite a lot of guys like you," Lilly said with a bit of revulsion in her voice.

God Lilly, you take being a bitch to the next level. Take the revulsion part away and so does the bitchiness. WIN

"I don't like him though, I like James," Tani said.

"Er.. he doesn't like girls who wear make up, why do you think he hasn't gone out with Jessie yet," Lilly said.

"Oh, if I'd known that. Mr Salesman, you can take back your eye shadow and stuff it down your throat," Tani said. Lilly sighed as Tani walked off. Lilly followed her.

Ha, good job. Next time do it without feeling the need to barf.

"It's a kit, to use on yourself. If you use it, it makes the guy of your dreams fall in love you," the man said.

Are you sure this is a Human colony and not the species from Love Spell?

Now this goes on for a few more lines and I'm wondering what the point of it was. The James part was foreshadowy, Tani's was an attempt at being funny, Jessie's is just rubbing salt into the Love Spell wound.

"No, there's nothing here," James replied. He walked away. Jessie followed him. She took a hold of his arm to stop him.

"James, can we just talk for a sec," Jessie asked.

"Fine, " James muttered.

"Not in the middle of the market place," Jessie said as she looked around.

Okay folks, this is the moment of truth. Place your bets. How is this awkward scene going to awkward?

a) Jessie calmly explains her fears, James listens, he apologises, so does she, and he promises to support her no matter what she decides. Everyone ships them forever and ever.

b) Both characters go straight into the apology route after an awkward line or two, but James is supportive guy and all is well. Ship's still afloat.

c) James uses his OOC faker skills to convince her not to abort. Jessie's like "yeah totally, abortion is murder", they make up and all is well. Except for any shippers, they declare James/Jessie as worst pairing since C/7 and the Fifty Shades idiots.

"Whatever," James muttered. Jessie headed over to the pub, he slowly followed.

WE'RE OFF TO AN EXCELLENT START FOLKS

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