Marill Re-Reads Heiress

Ah, this one. The one that pretty much destroys any chance the Kidz Trek elements have of redemption. I'm not looking forward to this one. From what I do recall, by the time Heiress was due for writing, Kidz Trek information was being leaked. Some of it fortunately was outdated, not all though. Around this time all of my plans for KT, and the series itself was murdered and I've since replaced it with a new book series I also haven't written. Much of. FV hasn't treated it well so far, so to be fair there wasn't much hope of it ever improving. Unfortunately the last ditch attempt, the original storyline from KT Voyage(r) named Fair Chance had been picked for the Season Two finale, so I still needed the Ligers and Lillyia's around. Dumping them wasn't an option. However now you know why they were all gradually written out over the next few seasons.

So in a nutshell, Heiress still had to be done so Fair Chance could exist too. An episode planned pretty far in advance, long before any of the KT/FV crossovers were written, so pre-Dimension Fury. My heart no longer in it, my last remaining smidgen of dreams for Kidz Trek as a whole crushed. Yeah, Heiress is gonna be a mess just like the others, but for a whole different amount of reasons.

AND it only gets worse up until episode 27, this is episode 22. Heiress is followed by The Atamit, Lea Halalela, Return of Third Voyager and Territory. 3/4 I'm dreading that I hate, and another that's a bit ignorant/racist and at the same time pretty blah in comparison. At least I have something to look forward, the short-but-not-bad Deep Under and our last hope Man Out Of You. After that well, hmm, I'm still not sure whether or not to mix B4FV/S3 Re-Reads so they're in release order or not, or just leave B4FV1 until after. We'll see when I get there.

My latest guesses for the next lot of garbage, including this one:
Heiress: 18%
Lea Halalela: 15%
The Atamit: 10%
Return of Third Voyager: 8%
Territory: 5%

In a nutshell: The Love Spell's gonna get its arse kicked at least twice.

Enough stalling, lets get this and those other four stinkers over with.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to my guest star list, I know in advance to expect Stevaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay and Ash totally not controversial at all Ketchum. And me. Oh joy!

"I have called this meeting simply because we and the Lillyia Fleet will be engaging in battle soon," Kathryn said.

"How soon?" Tom asked.

"In a few minutes," Kathryn replied.

Let me guess, Ash Ketchum has teamed up with Damien and they've made another Seventh Voyager called, um Eighth Voyager so they can have similar adventures taking the piss out of Fifth, all while airing Tani's dirty laundry and sharing the Lillyia's original specs.

What? I totally made that up on the spot.

"Well the Sixes and Liger war is still going strong. But we have a way to win it,"

Oh the huma...timing.

Perhaps a Dimension Fury and Why oh Why for no reason at all recap is in order.

NAH

The Kidz Trek Original crew shove the not Kidz Trek Voyage(r) lot out of their way, it's exposition time. Lena takes notes.

"As you know the Lillyia Z4 & Z6 returned last night. According to them the Six Delta Headquarters is only a little way away from here. It's hidden from usual Liger sensors but the Lillyia Z6 has recently had theirs upgraded," James The Third said.

"All we have to do is attack it. Since the Delta Headquarters is hidden from sensors, they never expect anybody to find them, so there's not much ship defence. They would have no choice but to negotiate a peace treaty," Scot said.

ALL HANDS TO BATTLE STATIONS, CUE THE EPIC FIGHT MUSIC

wait what?

"Thanks kinda boring. Can't you just kill them all?" Bryan asked. Almost everyone looked at him oddly.

"Well, no. Firstly it would be rather hard to wipe out an entire race," Scot muttered.

Like father like son, a piece of something. He's a kid so I'll let him off the hook for now.

Reminder, thanks to the edits and reboots the Sixes are no longer "another race". They're Liger, aka refugee Humans who are more advanced than us. You can tell this was a mere find and replace edit, can't you.

"Well the war really started because both factions actually lived together on Earth with Humans. As you can tell, the planet is rather small for three distinct races," Lilly replied.

Have we forgotten about bloody Venus?

Sheesh

"Humans didn't have a choice in the matter. They had to stay on Earth since they were the least advanced, so they couldn't leave anyway. So it all came down to the originally united us and Sixes," Scot said.

Hang on, is this an actual edit? originally united us and Sixes, sharing Earth with the Sixes? Got to be, makes no sense how it was before.

Doesn't really contradict the reboot's events either. WHAT IS THIS A POSITIVE, HALP

"We'd been friends with Humans for centuries. 

LIES Humans had no idea of their existence. The Ligers hid from them, hence the cloaked Venus (and Mercury), which is a huge part of my KT and its spin offs lore.

The Sixes however were a group that looked down on them, blamed them for holding us back etc. 

I don't remember but I'm gonna say LIES as well, for the original Sixes.

The actual/reboot Sixes, it works.

So they were the ones asked to leave

lol, the reboot kind s$$$s on this, a lot. It's the other way around, and there was no asked about it. It seems like Heiress was edited looooong ago, but not again for when the reboot was planned. Shame, though not surprising.

"So as soon as they set up their new way of life on their new homeworld Sixen..." Tom sniggered. Everyone ignored him.

*shrug* I'm not sure if Tom's laughing at the planet's name only in the edits or did in the original version. Mainly cos I don't see the joke either way.

They declared war on both us and Humans. That's when our relationship with Humans started to get a little out of hand. The rest you mostly know," Lilly said.

You know what I've just noticed. Damien and Seventh Voyager are not mentioned in any of this backstory. They were involved, greatly. It's interesting. Has all that been retconned?

A few things were changed about Kidz Trek to intergrate it into FV, sure. Then Dimension Jump came along to mix everything up, or mess if you want to be more literal. Since that mess caused further trouble, more changes were made to fix that. And now somewhere between the last change F9 Control Failure, and this one it's changed again, probably because of the Why oh Why drama, all behind the scenes.

Ffs, I should've fixed this before ending the reboot. It's fine though, Heiress will get an edit eventually. Hopefully when this is released it will have been. Right now there's so much clashing.

Anyway true to Janeway's word, Voyager and the Lillyia drop out of warp to face off against a Six fleet. You know instead of the space station that wasn't going to be guarded. I see we're already off to a fine start.

The battle starts, just in time for my dinner time so woohoo break time suckas

Voyager started firing phaser beams and torpedoes at the Sixes ships. The Lillyia Z5, Z6 & Z4 started firing blue torpedoes, while the F9 just started firing phaser shots.

Just A Little Bit More: 1

I forgot about you Just, will you ever forgive me?

Oh that's another thing Heiress does to kill the KT "brand". To be fair they already did by replacing the F9 with the Z fleet and calling it an old clunker at every opportunity. Oh wait, was that the reboot? 0_0

The F9 is the Enterprise of KT. It was always my favourite, still is. And yet it's getting constantly toasted on like Lena/Morgan was in Saturday Night. And it only gets better

"The F9's shields are at 50%, the other Lillyia ships are at 95%," Tuvok said.

"I don't know why they let the F9 battle, it's over 400 years old," Tom said as the ship shook.

In MYYYYYY day the Lillyia F9 was the sue of ships, the indestructable fortress of red (and blue) doom. When it is destroyed later, it turns out to be a hoax, a lure into some spoilerfic to FV thingiebob, and so still chugging along. They probably stored it in a museum when it finally was outclassed and couldn't be upgraded. People worship it and throw knickers at it.

Um.

Yeah, so um. Fifth Voyager is like LOL you're NOTHING, *spits* CHUMP and I really have no idea why. Even when KT died, even today, I still love that little Enterprise E attempted at a knock off.

"I don't know, Tom. Lilly said something about a secret weapon. But all it's fired are phasers," Kathryn said.

OH, it's F9's time to shine (spoilers) in the one that blows it up, swell.

"But it's going to get blown to pieces! The F9's shields are way too out of date to last!" Carly exclaimed.

Lilly sighed, and she pressed a few buttons on Carly's console. "Z5 to F9, status?"

In: "F9 here, our shields are almost gone. What the hell are you waiting for?"

DRAMATIC TIMING, DUH

In: "We won't have our secret weapon if you wait any longer. I'm firing the weapon whether it's time or not."

"Scot, if you fire that weapon we'll only affect half of the Sixes Fleet!" Lilly exclaimed.

In: "It's better than none, F9 out."

Scot disrespecting Lilly yet again. Always good for a sigh

"I don't know, I'm getting strange energy readings from it. I'll put it on screen," Harry replied.

The viewscreen changed view to show the F9. It's deflector was glowing red. One Sixes ship fired at it, and the shields disappeared.

OHNO IT'S THE F9'S VERSION OF THE WARP CORE SHIELD, PREPARE FOR RAMMING SPEED

In: "Z5 to Voyager. Captain, we're sending the rest of the Fleet over to the same point. We're going to try luring all enemy ships to the same area. Send Voyager too."

"The F9 is helpless, Lilly," Kathryn said.

Nah, nah. Sure Lilly will have faith in the F9, sure. She though is very attached to that ship, she shows no signs of this here, none at all.

"2 minutes," the Tactical guy replied.

"We're not going to last that long, prepare to evacuate the ship," Scot said. Everyone looked his way. "You heard me, evacuate. I'll finish the job," Scot said. People rushed towards the doors, some people hesitated before leaving.

See, no shields and is still hanging in there. The F9 is the Enterprise E in spirit. While we're on that subject, Star Trek Picard please say the E's still rolling, they hating. The F can go F itself

In: "Are you insane, set the weapon to automatic, and get the hell off the ship!"

"No can do, it won't work automatic. Just get ready to jump to warp," Scot said.

Well she cares about Scot and his attempt at self sacrifice. I... er, fine it's more endearing if Lilly puts a person over her precious ship. It's still not in her character though. The F9 is her flipping baby. All the ones before didn't last, the ones after never competed. The Z5 meanwhile was a generic grey looking thing built centuries after she died.

Back to the plot, Voyager eventually bolts as they're told to, along with the Z4 and I'm sure never existed Z6. Z5 remains behind for the time being. Lilly abandons her sh

I still haven't a clue what F9's super weapon is. It's either gonna Nemesis as many ships it can in honour of its inspiration (where's Troi when you need her?), or its super duper weapon is its auto destruct.

"A shuttle has docked in the shuttlebay," the computer said.

"Who the hell could it be?" Scot asked the computer.

"Unable to answer question," was his only response.

In: "Sorry Scot, but I'm not leaving a member of my crew here. I can get you out of here this way without risking my ship."

But...but the F9 is your ship. Z5 is not. These changes hurt my fragile soul

"Lilly, you stupid b**ch!" Scot snapped just before he beamed away.

Sexist Crap Count: 1 FU Scot, she should've left you and saved the F9

The F9's deflector suddenly fired a strange red beam towards the Sixes Fleet. All of the ships' hulls buckled and they exploded. A few of the ships that escaped the beam got destroyed in the shockwave. The shockwave hit the F9's hull, and it also exploded.

RIP F9, FV hardly knew you, but at least you died doing what you love, Mary Sueing. I mean wtf was that red beam? When did they get that, if they've had it that long why use it now?

WHY DID THEY ENGAGE A FLEET WHEN THE PLAN WAS TO DROP IN ON AN UNARMED SPACE STATION. THE F9 DIED IN VAIN GODDAMNIT

Silence just came over the commlink before Carly replied with, "Lilly went to get Scot off the ship."

Everyone on the Bridge looked at the person nearest to them with shocked expressions on their faces.

"I heard rumours that Lilly was leaving Fifth Voyager in this episode, but not like this," Tom muttered.

Bwahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..................um

Ok not that funny. I just blew up my Enterprise E. Of course Lilly is doomed. NO ONE FROM KIDZ TREK IS SAFE

"No, I didn't think so. She was trying to save a member of her crew, I would of done the same thing," Kathryn said.

"Even for me?" Tom asked.

"No," Kathryn said.

In: "I'll contact the Z4, James(The Third) will unfortunately have to take command of the Fleet again. Z5 out."

This is the right episode to ask this; why was James The Third Dave Lister Johnstone Liger demoted from captain, to poor comic relief butt monkey? Original KT Lister Liger was the eldest brother of Lilly with no aspirations but a huge unrealised potential for command, intelligent but lazy. Lilly was only in charge because she was a child genius who designed her own ships. She was rarely any good at it until she started to grow up. And then if I remember right, when Heiress' point comes to fruition in the KT version, there's some indecisiveness over who should be in charge, since seasoned but reckless Captain Lilly actually wants to do it, and Dave wants nothing more than to live a quiet life.

None of that really comes across in FV. Though none of them do. Lilly isn't Lilly, she's Firera trying to be Lilly. Scot is a douchecannoe, so much so I can't really remember the real him other than he's a bit cocky sometimes. Carly's been reduced to one note, and now all I can remember about her is that she laughs at everything and flies the ship. The rest of the cast aren't even around. Where's Kim and Sid, where's... oh crap.... the others.

It's been 20 years or so, I cannot remember anyone from Original Series out of Lilly, Scot, Carly, Kim and Sid (and Lister, but he wasn't a crewmember). How embarrassing.

Anyway some James misunderstandings later...

"Hey!" James snapped.

"Oh, ok, forget my comment," Tom said.

"Hey!" James snapped again.

"Would you stop yelling that," Kathryn said.

"Sorry," James muttered.

"Er, weren't you suppose to say hey again, just to annoy everyone?" Jessie asked.

"Oops," James said.

hurrrrrdurrrr

A smile formed on Harry's face. "It's a Liger shuttle, it's badly damaged but ok. There's two lifesigns aboard," he said. Everyone sighed in relief.

lol

F9's super weapon creates a massive shockwave that kills everything in it, including itself? Lilly wtf??? And yet the shuttle docked with it and barely had time to leave survives with minimal charring.

"How's my suicidal patients doing?" Doctor Jones joked. Scot just glared at him. "Never mind, Lee!" Lee rushed over to him. "What were you doing on that console?"

Yes, draw attention to the fact that this episode suits the last episode's title more than it did

"I'd say about two days. There is no way we could of gotten past that fleet no matter which way we went," James The Third replied.

Why, how big was the Sixes fleet? You do know you're in space, right

bulls$$$

"The F9 was the prototype for a weapon of destruction 400 years ago. The main reason why the Sixes wanted to get their hands on it was because of that weapon," James 2 replied.

remember when the F9 was also a prototype for a slipstream drive

Why put all your eggs in one basket

The way this went down the F9 was a nuke that could fly fast, nothing more, nothing less. seriously

"Yeah, but we're not going to be able to use that weapon again. The F9 was the only ship with the weapon, and the creators of it were on Earth," James 2 said.

"What happened to the creators?" Chakotay asked.

"Before they got to test the F9's deflector, Earth was attacked by Six forces. The lab was destroyed. The Sixes obviously knew exactly where to go," James 2 replied.

you're making this s$$$ up as you go along, I know it,you know it

prick

what angers me most is that Lilly's pride and joy was the prototype for some mad scientists whims. The Lilly I created wouldn't let anyone touch her precious, let alone attach a nuke to it.

"Expect the Headquarters to have some good shields and weapons. We may have the advantage with four ships," James 2 replied.

I thought you said this was a cinch because it was invisible and needed no defence

"Erm, just wondering. Is Lilly ok?" James 2 asked.

Reminder, Lilly and James 2/The Third are siblings

just in case

"It was a suicide mission, guys. There was a low chance of getting out of there alive, not many Captains I know would even try it," James 2 said.

Lol again

Sure Lilly said the weapon could be automated.

She, the captain of the whole fleet, decided to lead the battle with the Z5, leaving her creepy stalker first officer in charge of the ship that was going to be kamikazed.

Does that sound like a captain thing to do in the first place?

"Yeah, but I bet there's nobody on your ship that you really truly hate. Lilly hates that guys guts, if I were her I would of left him," James 2 said.

"Maybe she doesn't hate him as much as you think," Tom said.

Annika: Hi guys, did you miss me

"If you say so. The next time I see that guy, he's going to have a piece of my mind," James 2 said.

"He's not going to have much then," Tom muttered.

"Tom, what have I told you. He's not our James," Harry said.

"Hey!" James snapped.

"If you keep saying that it proves the point," Kathryn said.

Oh I see, all James's are butt monkeys. Keep on with the punches everyone

Despite being only a few days before battle, people were sitting around the tables talking like they usually do.

Lena, James, Jessie and Craig were at one.

"So, er, should we release another single?" Lena asked.

Ah there it is, the side plot I knew was there and couldn't convince myself I was thinking the worst. good thing I didn't.

You know why this is here. It doesn't take a bloody genius. James's hey were not annoyed, but clear attention seeking in an episode not about any of these four.

"We're not splitting up before you say it Craig, our band is not going to be like Steps," Jessie said.

"No, they split up probably because of arguments," Lena muttered.

WOOHOO I WAS RIGHT ABOUT SOMETHING

"If we're not going to split up, and not release any more singles, then what are we doing then?" James asked.

"Sitting, and sulking," Lena replied.

"Well we can still release singles, we can drop off copies on any music loving planets we pass," Craig said.

The real villains of the series, ladies and gents

"It doesn't feel like Virus anymore. We were big stars, and now we're back to being zeros," Lena replied.

boohoo, here's the tiniest violin

"Remember the big change when Lilly left the band. We changed the band's look, and we got popular among the crew. We could pull that off again," Jessie said.

oh I see where this is heading. Poor Craig, I remember the trio days.

"We won't be like them if we get more than one new band member, and have real auditions," James said.

"You mean, have the whole crew audition?" Craig asked.

Wait whut?

OH I missed a step ok. Even I misremember the order of antics that the Kidz Trek version of Virus got up to. I'm assuming started as a quintet, became a quartet, Pokéball 7 -1, dropped back to the original four for 5 minutes and the "Craig" leaves, band is renamed, Craig rejoins. The end.

Yeah I had no idea if and where I was gonna fit this into Kidz Trek's storylines. It was just something I thought of while listening to music.

"Then we'll be like S Club 7," James replied.

"Yeah, two band members are already dating each other," Lena said.

I dunno how I'm losing the will to care when I didn't to begin with

"We're not dating," Jessie growled.

"Then what are you doing then?" Lena asked.

Jessie and James looked at each other in a confused way.

F$$$$ hell, Jessie's denial is ridiculous even for her. Lena and Craig know these two smooch a lot, why get so angry about this remark

Jessie's Sin Points: +1

"If you remember, you and Craig are dating," James said.

"Erm, I forgot about that," Lena muttered. Craig stopped laughing and he sulked.

so did I

"What were you laughing at?" Jessie asked.

"Just something James told me in An Apple A Day," Craig replied.

That Janeway's gonna chop up the next guy who kisses her daughter and use the bits to help grow her coffee farm. Yeah that is funny

Jessie looked at Craig. "You'll hopefully find out soon enough," Craig said, and he winked at her. "But knowing him, it won't be for a while."

Somebody really ought to remind Janeway of this

more boring real bands talking later

"I say we should just have two new band members," Jessie said.

"Then we'll be like the other band Marill created," James said, and he quickly regretted what he said.

"Oh great, thanks for that. Luckily that didn't actually happen in Kidz Trek," Marill's voice said.

A six piece. A six piece.

*thinks, fire starts*

Pokeball Rainbow from Voyager's Drinking Game?? *shudders* the humanity

Wait, what do I mean? ?????????????? I suppose and I repeat myself I never did write Pokeball into Kidz Trek, so it must be the 6 piece version.

"So, how what was commanding the Z6 like?" Carly asked in a jealous tone of voice.

"Cool, I was telling everyone to blow up all those ships. I took over the Tactical cos the original guys sucked," Emma replied.

Emma ftw

"Hi crazy b**ch," James 2 said without turning around to face her.

I'm sensing a pattern. crazy, I know

"I thought you hated Scot! Why did you save him, he obviously wanted to die," James 2 asked.

"What makes you think that?" Carly asked.

"When I was on the Z4 he said something like I've got nothing to lose. People say that when they want to die," James 2 replied.

That and he willingly stayed on the F9, knowing full well it could be autopiloted

"Well my mum told me that when you're the Captain, you forget about personal grudges and you do what's right. And that's what I did," Lilly said.

My mum, she says to her brother. Weird thing to say.

"And you nearly left us with James in charge again. What kind of Captain does that to her crew?" Carly asked. James 2 glared at her.

Bored of this

"Where's he off too?" Lilly asked. Carly shrugged.

"It may have something to do with Williams, since you did say where he was," Emma said.

"Why would he want to know where Scot is?" Lilly asked her Bridge crew. Nobody had an answer to that question.

Um. Really? Did no one else hear the piece of my mind remark earlier

and really?

"Yeah, you heard right. We need three new members for our band. Anybody who wants to have a go at the auditions come to Holodeck 1 in one hour," Lena said loudly.

F$$$ OFF no one cares

fortunately the scene is short and even more pointless than it looks

Next up is the James The Third Liger versus Scot Shepard Williams the Creepster bout. Lets do this.

The Third: Hey, turn off that camera, I'm gonna be a James and try this off screen thingie

Scot Willpard: Bring it on you characterless chump

The Third: My name is David Lister Liger James Johnstone the third. You almost killed my sister, prepare to die

Scot Willpard: I called her a bitch, that didn't stop her.

The Third: You fool, the magic word is slut

Scot Willpard: Oopsie

The Third: Not the point, this is the point

Scot Willpard: *blank stares* what is?

The Third: Damn it, that camera is still on, isn't it

Trust me, this is better than the real dialogue

"I know it doesn't seem like much, but thanks for getting me out of there," Scot said.

Lilly rolled her eyes. "According to my brother you wanted to be killed. So yeah, it doesn't seem like much."

oh dear

well it's better than calling the person who saved your life a bitch

and I'm on Lilly's side here

"Ok, glad we've got that one sorted. So, why am I stupid b**ch?" Lilly asked.

"I thought you were stupid because you were risking yourself for me," Scot replied.

"The b**ch part was what I really didn't like," Lilly muttered.

Hell yeah, you tell him girl, take out that garbage

It was Scot's turn to roll his eyes. "I was angry, people usually do say things they don't mean when they're angry."

So the entire cast of FV must be angry 24/7 right? RIGHT?

Scot shook his head. "No, there was another reason. What you did was suicide too, a Captain would get court martialed for something like that, that's if they survived."

Hahaha, as if Captain Lilly would be punished like other captains

"Since when?" Lilly asked.

"A suicide rescue attempt, made by the Captain, could result in leaving a ship with no command. That is an offense," Scot replied.

I'm with Lilly. Since when? This is from a not-book series that had a Lillyia ship barely lasting a chapter, only to be replaced immediately until the F9 came along, crewed by literal kids.

"Well maybe I felt better on Voyager," Lilly snapped at him.

"You're not thinking of going back, are you?" Scot asked.

"As soon as the Lillyia has finished it's mission, I'm going back to Voyager. I'm not Captain material," Lilly muttered in response.

we all know that Fir..Lilly

"I've always thought you were a good Captain," Scot said.

"Maybe I used to be. I'd probably feel better as a nobody with friends, than a Captain with no friends," Lilly said.

"No, even though we're not friends anymore, I still like you," Scot said.

"You're saying that, but you don't mean it," Lilly said, and she turned back to her computer.

I know where this is going and I don't like it

"With what exactly?" Scot asked as he looked at the blank screen. Lilly turned it back around.

"You've just knocked it off, you idiot," Lilly said angrily.

"No I didn't. You always pretend to work on that thing, for a reason I don't know about," Scot said.

Pfft please, if she were pretending to be working there'd be a browser open browsing gaming forums or Web Express. orciv2

The four band members tried to block out the atrocious sound coming from an unknown crewmember.

to quote Lena NEXT

PS Naomi, Triah and Faye gets in

Yes I'm serious

"In some Aqua songs, your actress sounds like she's on helium," James said.

"Hey, you can talk. Your singing voice is sometimes girly," Lena muttered.

get a new tune people

"Think about it, we all have what you call weird singing voices, it makes us unique in a way," Jessie said.

Craig has a unique singing voice, in both incarnations?

if you say so

"Come in," she said. Emma literally ran in, she had a terrified look on her face.

"Lil, Annika's back," she said. Right on cue Annika came into the office.

AAHH, why wasn't she on the F9

the death count is wasted I tell you

"Firstly, I'll be safer on Voyager.. away from this loony," Emma replied. Annika put her arm around Emma's shoulders.

Annika survives this

"Don't you want to be my friend?" Annika asked.

"Make friends with a Barbie Doll," Emma replied.

"Ok," Annika said cheerfully and she walked away. She turned back around. "Do you me to bring some dolls over your quarters. We can play with them together."

Try Faye, she might still have some dolls under her bed

"If you must know, I did it because I felt guilty," Lilly replied.

"Erm, about what?" Emma asked.

"Well I didn't want him dying before I got a chance to apologise," Lilly replied.

OH HELL NO

"What he did all those years ago is something you only stay angry about for a week or so. I don't know why I hated him for so long," Lilly replied.

EXCUSE ME

Do I have to remind anyone what Scot did to make Lilly mad at him? YES

1) Fluttered his eyes at Lilly while on the bridge, saying her name is pretty
2) Asks to talk to her in private, she refuses cos she has a good idea why
3) He's like oh well, I'll tell her I fancy her anyway, in front of her bridge crew
4) She's naturally pissed off at this and leaves. He follows her into the lift, so he can force a kiss on her
5) When they're reunited, he whines that she's not over it yet

F$$$ SCOT, HE DESERVES NOTHING

And cos Lilly's being written here as if she's the bad guy for not forgiving this creep, Emma isn't all WTF LILLY, DO U WANT ME TO KILL HIM FOR YOU

"It's always the case, especially when the one who has to apologise has a crush on the person they're apologising to," Emma said.

SHE'S AN IMPOSTER

EMMA WOULD NOT SAY THIS

"By the way, when are you going to tell Voyager about who you really are?" Emma asked.

This crush crap's going nowhere, oh btw the point of this episode is...

"Voyager to the Fleet. What's the plan?"

In: "We just fight."

Just A Little Bit More: 2

I'm with Lilly here, she's not a good captain

In: "It is, I'm just not telling you everything."

"Ok, so what's suppose to happen?" Kathryn asked.

In: "I sent a message to every Liger ship in the area to tell them to meet us here."

I'm not saying it again, I'm just going to re-quote the beginning

"As you know the Lillyia Z4 & Z6 returned last night. According to them the Six Delta Headquarters is only a little way away from here. It's hidden from usual Liger sensors but the Lillyia Z6 has recently had theirs upgraded," James The Third said.

"All we have to do is attack it. Since the Delta Headquarters is hidden from sensors, they never expect anybody to find them, so there's not much ship defence. They would have no choice but to negotiate a peace treaty," Scot said.

James the Third has always been a liar, so Scot is as well or he believed him. Fools

In: "I'm more than just a Captain, Tommy boy. We'll see how many ships actually listened to me"

This is literally the next scene after Emma asks "btw lol are you gonna tell the readers/Voyager the twist people have already figured out way back in DJ?"

In: "Well my human father got killed ages ago, my mother too. With them gone, there's just me and James the Third."

and if that doesn't work, perhaps my The Third jokes help clue people in

"Heirs to what?" Chakotay asked.

Everyone heard her sigh over the intercom. In: "You still haven't worked it out? I bet some of the readers have already. The heir to the throne obviously."

LIKE OMG

"You're a princess?" Kathryn asked. Jessie and Lena sniggered quietly.

Why are they laughing?

Are they laughing at the obviousness of this

In: "How else would I get command of my very own ship at nine years old?"

Friends in high places

Yup

"So how come that other James isn't in charge then?" Harry asked.

In: "Mainly because our home planet was overthrown by Humans, and we were forced to move to Venus. Venus was destroyed in 2098. In other words the Ligers have been in anarchy for centuries."

"That doesn't answer my question," Harry muttered. Kathryn was starting to tap her foot impatiently.

Meanwhile the target has seen them, activated their DS9 like thrusters and flew off to safety

In: "Because of James Third's age, they won't listen to him. They don't trust him, it's the same with me. If we're lucky we'll get about five ships as reinforcements."

Yikes it really stinks at the butchers, I'm going home

In: "Yeah, if they didn't, we won't be able to get any peace from the Sixes. Once we do that, we can find a home planet."

"And rebuild the civilisation," Chakotay said.

snore

"Well, you did ask for it," Tom said. The ship shook violently.

"Don't make me demote you, Mr Paris!" Kathryn yelled over the explosions taking place behind her.

No choice but to accept surrender and make peace........ haha good one

The ship shook violently again, the Science station exploded taking an innocent Ensign with it.

Good thing Danny's always on holiday when this happens

The reinforcements arrive and there's a lot of them. I officially give up with this nonsense.

"I think the Ligers have finally come to understand that age doesn't matter," Carly muttered.

On the viewscreen thousands of Liger ships were circling the Headquarters.

Thousands

Thousands

The Excelsior, Voyager/Verinia...

Lillyia A-E, F1, F2, F3, F4, F5, F6, F7, F8, F9 (god rest its soul), 9 x G's, 9 x H's......

Yeah that's never gonna add up to thousands. And I'm assuming one of the ships belongs to the Bittersweet planet, and they're only there to finish the job. James and Jessie better take cover

"Well I'd usually not push my luck in situations like these, but I'm going to have to give them orders," Lilly replied. She pressed some buttons on Carly's console. "Lillyia Z5 to the Liger Fleet, lock your most powerful weapons on the Headquarters, and stay on Standby."

Carly looked at her. "Us too?"

NAH, I'M SURE THE LILLYIA Y200 HAS THIS IN THE BAG

"This is the Lillyia Z5, we're willing to negotiate a cease fire. If you're not, I may have to tell all of these ships to fire," Lilly said.

In: "Very well." The guy on the intercom sounded very nervous.

Yeah I don't bloody blame him

SHEESH

Why didn't you ask these guys for help against the Six fleet earlier? You'd still have your prototype ship

"We'll have to send the diplomats in to negotiate, then hopefully the Ligers can find a new home," Lilly replied. Carly looked up at her, and she grinned.

yet another episode I'm wanting to have wrapped up quickly and it's taking longer than usual

"It was very tempting to stay with you guys after the response I got yesterday, but I belong on Voyager now," Lilly said.

"What happens if the Liger Fleet will only listen to you and not James?" Scot asked.

Ohnoes whatever will I... don't care one bit

"I was talking to a few Captains this morning. Supposedly the war back home is worse than we thought. They found out about the plan we came up with, and they thought that they should come if we needed help," James 2 said.

Home?

AU Earth, the crumbles of Venus? Someone help me out here

please

"It wasn't just about age anyway, we're half human. I think that was a problem too," Lilly said.

THIS IS FV, LIGERS ARE HUMAN

FFS

AND I DON'T THINK LILLY WAS HALF LIGER IN KT TOO, COS FFS THE SPECIES IS NAMED AFTER HER FAMILY NAME

I'MFSY547%&*^&(*

"No, sorry. It doesn't mean that I won't be back," Lilly replied. James 2 went onto the transporter pad. Lilly looked at the transporter chief. James 2 dematerialised.

THEY DON'T EVEN SAY GOODBYE

HE JUST GOES

SO LONG JAMES THE THIRD, NO ONE WILL MISS YOU

"I guess this is goodbye then," Scot said.

"For now, I have a feeling we'll see each other again," Lilly said. She looked at the transporter chief. He understood and he walked out.

NOOO WAIT, COME BACK, PRETEND YOU'RE A JAMES FOR ONE SCENE, FADE OUT FADE OUT

"Don't let James boss you around, you're in charge of the Lillyia now," Lilly said.

"Can I call it the Scotia?" Scot joked. They both laughed. "Seriously though. If I tried to kiss you again, would you go into another long strop?"

Actual James: Did someone say anything about a fade out?

Scot: BEAM SCOTTY OUT, HURRY

Lilly: I'll get the lights

Scot: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

James Kill Count: 1

Lilly folded her arms and she glared at him. "Yes I would," she said.

good, and do so anyway, this guy's a d$$$head

Anyway cos Lilly/Scot was a thing in KT eventually, despite him being incredibly awful, he gets a brief kiss. He goes to leave and yeah... you know what happens lets THE END this piece of poop

"Are we ready to go?" Kathryn asked.

"No!" Tom blurted out loudly as he and a group of others watched a small screen on his console.

"Great, Kidz Trek's not even out yet and there's already shippers," Kathryn muttered.

bwahahahahahahahaha

funny back in 2002, still funny now

"What is she still doing here!" he yelled.

"Hi Jamesy, do you want to come to my quarters tonight. We can have some lovely tea, and then we can play with my Barbie Dolls," Annika said.

Everyone in the entire Lillyia Fleet screamed loudly.

KARMA BITCHES

Will the Lillyia Fleet get rid of Annika?

I'm not sure who I'm routing for to die first tbh

Why has she gone even more loopy than before?

She seems quite tame to me

Why is there Lilly/Scot shippers?

beats the f$$$ out of me

Did Emma get off the Lillyia too?

who knows, that imposter might still be there

Is Lilly actually going to leave the series after all, or was that just a made up rumour Vulpix made? *Vulpix laughs nervously and goes into hiding*

yes

Find out the answers to maybe some of these questions next time on Fifth Voyager.

Next time? Someone's optimistic

Though you might get the shippers question answered.

And on a second glance, the Ash Ketchum and Stevaaaaay scare was a lie.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Counter Results:

Muttered Count: 43 (1495)

Sexist Crap Count: 2 (68)

Jessie's Sin Points: earned 1, lost 0 (2) Remember, she has 36 from Season One to still erase.

Lena the Sue Count: 1 (39)

Lena (Child)Abuses Her Power: 0 (35)

Annika Dies Count: 0 (10)

James Dies Count: 0 (5)

James Kill Count: 0 (4)

James Badasses Off Screen For Our Sins: 0 (17)

Marill's Playing With Her Dolls Again: 1 (53)

Just A Little Bit More: 2 (39)

J/C are the worst (grand)parents ever: 0 (27)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Score:

Negatives:

1) We're going into battle in a few minutes, lets call a meeting to tell everyone. I'm sure the meeting took longer than that.

2) Exposition about why the Sixes hate the Ligers (version 2, cos we can't talk about the original one) in said meeting about the battle in -2 minutes. Save it for later.

3) Seems like Damien and Seventh's involvement in the war has been erased out of existence. It could be bad writing, and it is, but considering the controversy over it, it's very likely to be true.

4) The jist of the battle plan is they've found a command central of the Sixes cloaked and defenceless, or at least minorly defended. The battle Janeway mentions though is against a fleet that they can't get by, who pretty much give Voyager and Lillyia a thrashing. THEN there's the actual battle with the station, which ends up being quite tough as well. The only reason they win both these battles is the deus ex machinas, first the F9 and its new suicidal weapon, second the entire Liger species it seems on a massive fleet they never had. But that's a different complaint.

5) F9 is disposed of in the most stupidest attempt at trying to create needless drama I've ever seen, plucked out of thin air or my ass. And I've seen things like C/7, the big bad reveal in Dollhouse, Bones's many attempts (Zack's the killer, f$$$$$ Pelant the hacker genius that'd own James on and off screen, Zack's a killer again and kidnapped Bones, Sweets dying -NEVERFORGIVE-, Bones' dad, Booth's brother, Hodgins is now a wife abuser, Booth endangers his family to gamble... maybe I should've said Bones, leaving it up to your interpretation what I mean).

Ahem. Yeah, what with how special the Lillyia F9 was and is to me, I'm really surprised at the disservice. It going out in a needless blaze of glory, and have it brushed under the carpet in favour of creating tension between Scot and Lilly. NOOOOPE

6) Lilly is called a bitch, twice, once by her own brother, for risking her life to save someone else. A certain male someone does this crap all the time, and while he is called out, it's never like this.

7) We get it, James the Third is a loser. I created him and even I seemed to forget his whole character arc and point. I've already explained it and I'll not waste further time.

8) Virus

9) Scot's suicidal, except no he isn't, but he is sad that he molested his best friend and she's mad at him. She regrets being mad at him so long cos it was totally a small issue she overreacted to. Scot even says to her "if I do it again are you going to strop about it for years again?" Scot's a prick. The story ends with them smooching. I don't need to explain my thought process here.

10) Oh btw Lilly and James the Third are royalty. OMG WHAT. Their influence can summon THOUSANDS of Liger ships to help defend them. Why now, and how? I'm not sure anymore what the Liger's story is since it's such a mess, but I do know that there wouldn't be thousands of ships. Think about it. This is a human civilsation that hid on a little island in the Pacific (and yes I know that's reboot only, but IT IS their origin story from KT), advanced further than the rest of the world, colonised Venus and hid it behind a cloak. I'm going way off my point here, which is they'd be lucky to have thousands of people, let alone ships. They're not a big race. They can't be, there's no time for their species to flourish on Venus, especially in FV's version of it since their planet gets nuked anyway merely a century later. fft.

Load of crap is what it is.

Sub-total: 10

Positives:

1) I begrudingly accept that Lilly's developed from being Firera's clone. While she still isn't KT Lilly, it's still better than that.

2) Annika's attempts to get attention were a little funny, a welcome distraction.

Sub-total: 2

Marill's Rating: 17%

Oooph I guessed 18. Not bad. Not bad.

The episode is though, so bad. Although I imagine the disrespect Kidz Trek, its characters and its flagship got here colours my opinion on it, I'd be harsher than most. Even its positives are pity points. Still. Bad.

Rankings So Far:

#01 Resistance: 53%
#02 YWF: 45%
#03 Disconnected: 40%
#04 Kiss of Death, Bittersweet, Suicidal: 38%
#05 Interactions: 37%
#06 The Resurrection: 36%
#07 True Q: 35%
#08 Cause & Effect: 33%
#09 Saturday Night, Precise Timings, The Curse of Voyager: 31%
#10 Games Resistance: 29%
#11 Thrown Key Part 2: 23%
#12 F9: Control Failure: 21%
#13 Why oh Why: 20%
#14 An Apple A Day, Heiress: 17%
#15 I Know What You've Done This Season: 16%
#16 Halloween: 15%
#17 Dimension Jump: 14%
#18 The Slayers: 12%
#19 The Love Spell: 10%

Next Time: The Love Spell meets its latest challenger. Can it defeat the one that victimises the kid/teen characters so bloodily, assumes pregnant people get food cravings on day one, and retcons a lot of J/J's relationship because daw past Marill's squeamish and prudeish. But no worries, the next one won't be so bad... or the next one ugh, maybe the one after that... oh I give up, let me skip to Man Out Of You, the rest of Season Two's gonna dethrone Love Spell effortlessly.