Marill Re-Reads "Games Resistance"

This one. Sigh. I'm torn. It introduces a villain, well a faceless one, that sticks around for a very long time. The I believe second half is pretty good (with the exception of yet another OMG THEY'RE TWINS J/J moment). The character development is well done. There's a scene that foreshadows a huge plot twist later on, there's no denying that was already planned in, it'd be too coincidental if it wasn't. On the other hand though it still has a Pokémon battle, contains a scene that was heavily edited before release (and again later) that caused a huge headache in my life allegedly (more on that if/when Dimension Jump's review arrives), I remember some shaky dialogue, and the mentioned James copying another Jessie weakness/phobia bit.

To put it as simply as possible; I'm expecting a 50/50 episode, which season favourite Resistance ended up being and was a shock to me. So well, that doesn't bode well for Games Resistance. It may surprise me, in a good way, who knows.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every single Voyager crewmember were sitting in cinema seats facing a huge cinema screen. Neelix's movie was on the screen and it was obviously not catching anybody's interest. Most of the main cast were asleep, most of the ones who weren't asleep were close to it. Only Neelix, the Doctor, Emma and Lilly were actually watching it.

Took me a while to understand the "close to it" part. They're almost asleep.

The credits finally came on the screen. Everyone started cheering and clapping. Neelix stood up as a few crewmembers started to walk out.

"Where are you all going, it's only the beginning credits," Neelix asked. Everyone groaned in response. The ones who had gotten up were forced to sit down again.

snigger

"Tell me Neelix, is there any killing in this film?" Sid asked, who had to sit next to Neelix.

This is Kidz Trek Sid. FV Sid would only be interested if it were a 3D showing that actually can hurt its audience.

"Oh look, there's me!" Lilly screeched as she pointed at the screen.

"You're not important, I'm the main star," Emma said.

"That's not the first time I've been told that I'm not important," Lilly muttered.

I'm sure there's a behind the scenes reason for that important joke. Since I don't remember it and don't get it, no one else will. PS stfu "Lilly"

"It's been on three hours, only good films should be this long," Morgan

There should also be toilet breaks. DAMN YOU PIRATES 3, FU AND YOUR END CREDITS SCENE TOO

James, who was sitting next to her, fell asleep on her shoulder. "That's it, this film better be turned off before he starts drooling on me!" Morgan yelled.

How does he sleep through this?

The film finally finished. A cloud of dust overwhelmed the cinema as everyone rushed out. Neelix, the Doctor, and everyone who was asleep were left behind.

Jokes on them, the end credit scene is epic.

The night shift was on the Bridge. Instead of Jessie being at Tactical, Emma was there instead. Lilly was also on the Bridge, she was at opps. For some reason Craig was at the Engineering station and James was in Chakotay's chair.

For once I'm gonna agree with "for some reason" for this one.

Jessie's station isn't Tactical. Emma being there would be like me being there. Craig is at Jessie's real station. James is in command? Yeah, it worked out so well last time.

"Yey, I found your ship!" Morgan yelled.

"Yeah, but I've sunk three of your ships," James said.

Wait, where's Morgan in the above location paragraph????????? ANSWER MEEEEEEE

"It's not fair, Morgan used to like me," Craig moaned. Lilly and Tani laughed at him.

S$$$ I LEFT MY TINY VIOLIN IN THE HOUSE

"Ooh, can I fire some torpedos?" Emma asked.

"Noooo!!" everyone screamed hysterically.

See, that's why Emma shouldn't be at Tactical

"I'm not a quitter, or a loser. Craig you take Tactical," Morgan ordered.

"Anything for you Morgan," Craig replied and he rushed over to the Tactical station. Once again he and Emma had a fight over the Tactical station.

RIP Craig, you creepy sad sap

"I suppose it's a good thing Craig's at Tactical instead of James, who wants a murderer at Tactical," Lilly muttered.

I dunno, if some aliens contact Voyager and one of them winks at Morgan, Craig being at Tactical won't be such a good idea either.

"I'm not a murderer, I haven't got killer instincts.." James said. He suddenly raised his voice, startling everyone, "die submarine, die!"

Bad irony joke is bad and you should feel bad

"That can't be good," Morgan said and she looked up at the viewscreen. "Er Tan, why are we in orbit of a planet?" Morgan asked.

"I thought it looked pretty," Tani replied

"I think I know why. We're in lower orbit and a strange storm is above us," Lilly said.

Oh yeah, nobody was mentioned to be at the helm. Ooopsie

"A Game Cube's going to land on us if we don't," Morgan replied.

"A what?" Emma asked.

God damn this episode's so dated. We've had three consoles since. Ohnoes a Switch is gonna land on us...wait, my bad! It's something else.

(16 years later and I'm still not funny)

"Wait, is there anybody on that planet?" Tani asked.

"There's a small colony, why?" Lilly asked.

"We can't get out of here then, we have an obligation as slayers to protect them from the Game," Morgan replied.

Remember this the first and everytime Morgan tells people "DUH GAMES ONLY LAND ON PEOPLE, COS DUH THEY'RE POINTLESS IF THEY DONT". If it weren't for Tani this colony...*remembers something* oooher, nm.

"Oh not the slayer thing again," James muttered.

Pffffffftlol this running gag of James getting irritable when his trigger word is said because no one will explain it to his satisfaction (or at all, or brings up Pokémon trainers) is just so, retconny. He at first wasn't supposed to know the term, but hey, I couldn't get that to work in the prequels so all main seasons references were changed to have Games before Slayer, and that was what he was confused about instead. Looks like it couldn't be done here and so it was left alone.

Oh yeah nobody brought up that reveal in Resistance to James himself. Hmm.

Er, a strange place:

urge to kill, rising

The entire crew was standing in what looked like a huge waiting room inside a stadium. Most of them was still wearing their night clothes.

WHAT? NO TWEENIE, POKEMON NIGHTIE STYLE DESCRIPTIONS. YOU FAIL GAMES RESISTANCE

"Morgan, what have you got us into this time?" Kathryn asked angrily.

"Don't blame me, I just wanted to play Battleships," Morgan replied.

aaaw

"It looks a bit like a waiting room to me," Harry muttered.

"Yeah, we just stay in here until the Game tells us what kind of game it is," Morgan said.

"This is just confusing," Chakotay muttered.

Seems straight forward to me

A strange computerized voice started speaking from nowhere. "Game loaded. Seven on seven Game Creature battle, no time limits. Slayers must have at least two Game Creatures each for the battle. Which ever side wins four matches first wins the game. Slayers participating report to the Games Console to get access to the arena."

Yippe, you know what this means guys. Pokémon battle. Much epic, so fun

I am at a loss with these now that I really think about it. I hate, hate Gym Battle episodes of Pokémon. Long, drawn out scenes of "PIKACHU AIM FOR THE HORN" "DODGE, THUNDERBOLT" commands bore me to tears. Though aim for the horn annoys me for other reasons, meh. It's why I realised the show wasn't for me anymore. I was watching it for Team Rocket, while the show was made for people who thought these battles were the best part of the show.

So why, why was I so intent on doing the same thing for FV? It's not like I used to like the long Pokémon battles. I never found them that interesting. Another FV mystery for me to ponder. Or not, cos I got enough stuff to not do and instead write these and play Civilization 2 for the 100th time.

Anyway, Pokemon aside, we're getting the first look at a Game Cube. Since it's super important and I've only whined about Pokémon, I'm gonna quickly go through what we know so far so everyone's on the same page;

+ it lands on you (though I did notice nobody mentioned landing the ship, so we're meant to assume the thing hit them whilst in the AIR. OMGPLOTHOLE that's not something I retconned later, Games always destroyed things not standing on the ground.)

+ Apparently Game Slayers have to protect people from these Cubes.

+ Morgan's definitely a Games Slayer. Tani's said she's one. Morgan's mentioned Chosen and Natural kinds that are uberly strong, in the same conversation she suspected James of being one. We do not know what kind Morgan herself is. We don't know for sure Tani or James are, it's only an assumption.

+ They engulf the ships they land on in purple light

+ They then throw the people into a waiting area until a literal game is chosen.

+ Game announcers stupidly label all potential players of said game as "slayers" and Marill firmly grinds her teeth, reminded once more of Season One's rubbish with almost everyone including herself being considered one because they have Pokémon.

OKAY. CARRY ON

"Great, only three of us have two or more Game Creatures," Morgan muttered.

This who owns what has been very, very sloppy. Another good reason to hate the Creatures malarky. Too bad it's still gotta be used.

"Will somebody tell me what's going on," Kathryn asked.

"Long story, mum, we've already told it in Spirits and I'm not telling it again," Morgan replied.

HOW EVIL ARE YOU MORGAN?

NO ONE DESERVES TO READ THAT SPIRITS OPENING AGAIN, EXCEPT MAYBE RAPISTS AND PEDO'S. FU

"Anyway, who here has at least one Game Creature?" Tani asked.

I'll spare you the characters chiming in with what they have. Harry, Jessie and Triah have one each, James has two and we're reminded of the time James ruthlessly told one to murder Damien because he dared to parody a Pokémon theme song.

And then we're treated to the line that's been butchered at least twice to make it less offensive, OOC and s$$$ stirry:

"Oh shut up, Damien and that guy deserved to die," James said.

I mentioned it in the beginning and probably will again in the next review, that this line is what allegedly kicked off the Dimension Jump controversy that I've mostly kept under wraps since it was resolved. I say allegedly because it's only a theory of mine.

The version of this line while the episode was unfinished was pretty damn awful, I dunno what I was thinking with it. I'd rather not say what it was, I'm pretty damn disgusted with it since I didn't think like that and James was never the kind to say that s$$$. But anyway it was very likely seen before release, it ruffled feathers as it definitely should. It's a long story as to why it truly did so, it wasn't just because it was a bigoted line, but that long story should be in Dimension Jump's review if I decide to go into it.

The line was changed sometime around release. Can't remember honestly if it was before it was uploaded, at the same time the consequences took place, and/or later when Damien's character was renamed and so the line needed changing anyway to suit.

The second version I think was this;

"Oh shut up, Damien and that gay guy deserved to die," James said.

Now imagine that this was the correction (which was later corrected again by removing one word) for a really distasteful, offensive and damn right ugly sentence. Okay, now imagine that it was originally badly(er) written like 90% of FV, so anybody who could read and had a brain would misunderstand it and think Damien was lumped in with Jessie's killer, AND that their actions weren't why they deserved to die, but what they were both (incorrectly in "Damien"'s case) labelled as.

If you got it, "great". You get why I hated the line and myself, and that's without the reaction I got to it (we'll get there next time), and why I think it needed to be altered so many times so it sounded like something James would say.

If you don't, well, take it from the expert; ignorance is bliss.

Now hopefully controversial stuff over, let's continue with Games Resistance.

"Okay, I could give Jessie my Azumarill. Tani can give Staryu to Triah, and Goldeen to Harry," Morgan said.

"We still need one more slayer," Tani pointed out.

"Craig, don't you have an Onix?" Morgan asked.

Ok I had to scroll up to check why they were sharing these out to people already mentioned, then I lost the will to care.

All you need to know and that's stretching it is Morgan, James, Jessie, Triah, Tani, Harry and Craig are playing the game. Which is seven people and I feel the need to check again, I DON'T CARE OKAY

Okay it is seven players, which is weird for a tournament or whatever. I imagine it's just a "I wanted these characters so that's the number the game needs" sort of thing.

Apparently only four out of seven need to win, so I assume it's a best out of three kind of scenario but with more Pokémon battles. That means we'll (we means me, I'm doing this so you don't have to, until a reboot is around) have to endure four battles, AT LEAST. KILLME

For the moment though, interesting info we need to add to our Game Cube knowledge list:

"If we do lose it's a good idea to generate a signal which frequency exceeds 4.975. If we don't do it we'll be vaporised," Morgan said.

Oh interesting, Marill thinks until she reads the part where everyone has to do this, with their commbadges and she headbutts the desk twice. Once for the blatant commbadge=icons ReBoot moretheft, and twice because I clearly wiped this from my mind (though everytime I read this ep I skip this whole scene which would explain how) and accidentally retconned it.

Though the retcon makes more sense. If it's a frequency which disrupts something, surely having more than one is redundant. One will do.

On a better note, notice the blatant 47 usage, haha

They are whisked into the game, Morgan chooses then to give us something else to add to the list

"If we lose this'll take us into the Games Matrix, it's better than being vaporised. If we win we'll be back on Voyager," Morgan said.

My only gripe, why didn't you explain this while you were outside with everyone else. This way only the players know, and NO PRESSURE GUYS

I'm not gonna quote the matches, just the results. Unless there's something funny, or I can make an attempt at a funny in reaction, or just a comment *shrug*.

ROUND #1: Tani
So called "Games Slayer/expert on Pokémon" sees an electric type and calls out a water creature first.
Results: CHUMP

"Sorry guys, I kinda blew it," she muttered.

"It's ok, Raichu is a tough Game Creature to beat," Morgan said.

YES YOU F$$$$$ DID. Morgan for once doesn't reply in a blunt or callous manner, when I'd back her up. God damn it Tani.

ROUND #2: Triah
Triah loses despite her first opponent having no attacks that could hit her, and a type advantage in the second match. So it's no surprise she doesn't make a comeback when she calls out something weak to them.
Results: LOSS

I then notice that the computer is calling the players out, they have no choice over it. And so far we've had chumps Tani and Triah. I'm calling FIX. Let's see who's third.

"Well, you did better than Tani and she's an experienced slayer of these kind of games," Morgan said.

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Anyway my fix theory vanishes instantly for round 3;

Round #3: Morgan
FLAWLESS VICTORY    almost too easy. She has a grass type and her opponent not only has two waters, one has a double weakness to grass. Hmmmmmm... maybe it still is a fix, and this is so they don't think so until its too late.

Round #4: Harry
Morgan hates Hoot Hoots apparently, maybe the name grinds her gears. Harry chooses the made up Pokémon I'm still not sure what type that is, I get sad cos I can't berate him. It looks to be electric so he's already better than EXPERIENCED GAMES SLAYER TANI LMAO. He only loses as well because his second choice is one of Tani's chump Game Creatures.
Results: LOSS, AND IT'S ALL TANI'S FAULT

Round #5: Jessie
Pressure is on, computer only needs one more to win, which Morgan makes sure to remind her after she's already said that THANKS MORGAN. Jessie's first battle is a type advantage and also an evolved Marill, so of course she wins. Second round, tables turn. Jessie's second Poké has a type advantage though, so it's in the bag right?
Results: LOSS VIA PARALYZE ATTACK, I KNOW YOUR PAIN JESSIE, I KNOW YOUR PAIN

So you know what that means. THE POKEMON MATCH IS OVER, YAAASSSS

er I mean they've lost the game and so we're getting to see this Games Matrix, but part 5 won't be available for half a year... oh sorry no, wrong Games Matrix. Hehheh

The whole entire area looked like a energy tunnel. The edges were a mixture of red and blue colours. The entire crew were standing around as confused as ever.

See, this is why you should've explained the Games Matrix part before going in the game, Morgan.

Also neat, description's right.

"The Games Matrix, where time has no meaning," Morgan replied.

"I thought that was the Nexus," Tom muttered.

Wellllll, she's not entirely wrong but lawl

"It's the waiting point for the sprites of the games. Games arrive here all the time and sprites go into them to battle in the games. Lets just say we're not suppose to be here," Morgan replied.

Add that to your Game Cube fact list guys

"This is the Sprites home," a voice said from behind everyone. A blonde human man was walking up to them.

"Oh god, it's our Games Watcher," Tani said.

1) Minor nitpick, naming the opposing players of the Games "sprites" only highlights the ReBoot theft further. Stop. Holograms would do.

2) Spoilers for an episode a few episodes after this; yes I know that holograms is also, for the most part, wrong. It's meant to be. Games do use holograms but not exclusively, but the GM itself is a whole other matter that the characters will figure/find out later.

3) Speaking of wrongness, oh look its unnamed for the moment Watcher guy played by another Buffy actor.

"I am one of the few Games Watchers. I was born with the power to sense the Games," the man replied.

There's a lot of lore regarding the Games Watchers that I've sadly not had the opportunity to show. They spend too much time being shifty to exposition properly

Speaking of which, you'll see where Morgan gets her 1337 skillz from soon enough.

"He used to train us when we were aboard the Borg sphere," Morgan said.

"Tani, Morgan, it is wonderful to see you both again. How did you and your crew get here?" the Games Watcher said.

Take a wild guess. Hint; you suck at your job but I already knew that cos duh I created you to suck at your job, but still

"The last game we were in was rock solid," Tani replied.

NO YOU JUST SUCK

"I see. I can sense that you want to take a Game Cube that'll take you closer to home. Fortunately there is one. There is two problems however. It is the only one that is further forward than you were before and it's the toughest type game in the Matrix," the Watcher said.

OHNOES, IT'S THE VICTORY ROAD PORTION OF THE POKEMON GAMES, ISN'T IT? I HATE THAT. NO I DON'T WANT TO WASTE HALF OF MY TEAM ON HM SLAVES, FU!

"Do you mean the Hunt?" Morgan asked.

Ohnoes again, when did the name for these change?

Bad Marill, bad

"The Hunt is the most dangerous type of game. A team of 10-15 slayers fight against twice as many sprites. One team must be totally eliminated from the game to win," Morgan replied.

"Eliminated, as in killed?" Tom asked.

"Well obviously," Morgan muttered.

STOP CALLING EVERY SCHMUCK WHO VOLUNTEERS TO PLAY THE GAMES SLAYERS, I SWEAR TO GOD. THIS CRAP WILL ONLY CONFUSE PEOPLE

And boy, there's gonna be a cutesy Pokémon bloodbath very soon

"The good thing is that nobody can die in the games. You can get seriously injured in the games but that's it," the Watcher said.

Wait, we're not using Pokémon? HURRAY

I mean er, another fact thingy to add folks

"Have you ever been in one of these hunts?" Kathryn asked.

"No, they're very rare," Morgan replied.

"Just as rare as natural born slayers. You need at least one of them if you're going to win this game," the Watcher said.

hngggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh SEE WHAT I MEAN, CONFUSING AS FFFFFFFFFFFFFF

"I don't think we have one," Morgan said.

DAMN IT MORGAN, YOU'RE NOT HELPING

Previously on Marill Re-Reads

"He's right, I have a better chance of winning because I'm younger, I'm a Slayer and I'll have a batleth," Morgan said.

"When you were doing that cartwheel you managed to pick up the batleth, how did you do that?" Craig asked.

"Meh, piece of cake for a Games Slayer," Morgan replied.

This is just the beginning. It comes sudden, but I know that since you're a Slayer you have the power to control them," Kes said.

"Yes. Your powers are developing quickly now. Your Slayer strength and Ocampan mind power will help save your crew. I am warning you though, Cupid's Spell (SNIP, rest is actually plot related, boring!)

One tried to hit her but she picked him up and threw him across the Bridge. He nearly landed on Craig.

"Morgan, try not to throw guys at me!" Craig yelled.

"I have no idea, no human would be able to break these bones just by punching them," the Doctor replied.

"I knew it, James isn't human," Tom said.

"The only humans who could do this kind of damage are natural born or Chosen Games Slayers," Morgan muttered.

And now the conclusion

YOU WERE SAYING, MORGAN?

I'm very annoyed by this. The Natural/Chosen lore regarding uberly strong people has been established. Morgan and James have shown abnormal strength. Morgan herself has labelled James as one or the other. Kes told her that she had Slayer strength, so that must mean Natural or Chosen too. None of the other "slayers" have been described like that.

Why is Morgan saying this? It's not like they're going into a - SPOILERS again for 6 episodes later, same one as before - Game Sphere which has Chosen skill requirements. I'd understand that. But here, where Naturals will do. "Oh we don't have any." WTF. If you must have someone say this, and no it's not necessary, PICK ANYONE, LITERALLY ANYONE OTHER THAN MORGAN. OR JAMES (OR JESSIE) FOR PREQUEL CONTINUITY SAKE. gosh

"You do know that you have the strength of one, but you have too much compassion for others. A natural born slayer needs to be able to defeat their compassion," the Watcher said.

Okay? I think I know what he's hinting at here, and if I'm right S3 foreshadowing, but it's worded like her powers will be taken off her if she helps a nice old lady across the road. Also, shouldn't a (super)hero need compassion? Seems like a pretty important job requirement otherwise you get extremely dangerous sociopaths running around doing what they want. And that's worse than James FYI before you even joke "but they already do lawl".

"You've made it clear, I'm not slayer material," Morgan muttered.

Um, if you're trying to explain away the "dont think we have naturals here" line she had earlier with a self doubt thing, it's not gonna work with me. She still pointed James out as one. FU.

"I doubt there is any of these special slayers around," Chakotay said.

"I sense none. However I sense slayer potential in a few of you. With your permission, I wish to train them. I could teach them how to stand some chance in the hunt," the Watcher said.

I didn't need to do one for Resistance, but Games Resistance definitely needs a ONE EPISODE ONLY counter and guess what it is??

Bulls$$$ Watcher Says Counter: 1

This Watcher speaks from his arse, A LOT. He is avoidy and manipulative. Very little of his lines are really direct, and if they are they're usually lies. It's not (just) poor writing, he was always meant to be shady.

This isn't a spoiler, that paragraph alone is proof enough. We know Morgan is one, that James is probably one. He can't sense them? AND "Oh I sense no special/natural slayers, but I do sense potential". Whut? You do or you don't, wise guy. Potential? The Slayer mythos never worked that way, you were born with it or you weren't. You don't learn to become super strong, at least not that super strong lol.

He's only worded it this way to suit his agenda. And that is where spoilers lie and so, shhhh

It's not really spoilery if I call him out in future. If I feel the need to explain why I have and it is, I'll warn accordingly.

"A few hours. That is barely enough time to fully train potential slayers. It took me eight years to train Morgan, and she's only three quarters of the way there," the Watcher said.

I'm sorry, what?

Not marking him for this, but eight years? Morgan was 15 when she was rescued. Lets ignore the fact that watcher guy wouldn't have been on the sphere at the time or he'd be dead/erased, that means she was seven when this training started.

Also another hint to the bulls£££ery with the "I sense no power here" crap, why does he only mention Morgan here when he supposedly trained her and Tani?

"In the mean time I have a safe place for your crew to hide. The Sprites will not be happy to see an entire crew in their Matrix," the Watcher said.

lol this is not one for the fact sheets, guys.

Five minutes later:
The Watcher looked at his fifteen students; nine main characters and six guest stars. One being Sid the Psycho. He was definitely the most cheerful one there.

Of course Sid volunteered for this. The question is why didn't anyone stop him? He's gonna die to the first painful attack.

Anyway Watcher speechify time, while Morgan probably takes notes.

"If you want to stay safe in a Game you have to overcome your fear(1), and most of all your compassion for others(2). You don't want to feel sorry for the sprites you are fighting(3). They are less than half as important as holograms(4). They have no sentience.(5) You must be ruthless towards them, show no mercy. If they see fear in your eyes they'll take advantage of you. I find that the best way to overcome fear is anger.(6) Anger almost always takes over any kind of emotions you have.(7) You must learn to use your anger as a tool or a weapon. Without it you may not win the fight. Questions?"

Ho boy

1) I dunno, fear might be useful. You don't want someone dying to some beefy guy with a chainsaw when they could've ran off and took out a smaller opponent with a knife.

2) This guy really hates compassion (and completely irrelevant to say to the trainees)

3) Bulls$$$ Watcher Says Counter: 2

No one's going to be feeling sorry for the holograms trying to kill them.

4) Less than half as important as holograms? Screw it, this is a different kind but bulls*** nonetheless

Bulls$$$ Watcher Says Counter: 3

5) Lawl

6) Bulls$$$ Watcher Says Counter: 4

7) Bulls$$$ Watcher Says Counter: 5

Season Three spoilers regarding 6/7. Actually no, make that mid Season Four spoilers:

Ok so Slayers can't care about people because, well we've seen an example of why back in Interactions (even though the evil malarkey hadn't been decided then, it sure was here). But being angry enough to block out all of your other emotions, to use it as a weapon, is totally fine? lolwhut? Was he saying this for James' sake, an encouragement like Ligod did back in the prequels. Its a bit risky to do this with Morgan in earshot, since it's clear he didn't want her going down that path. He's got her convinced that she'll be demoted to regular girl if she so much as says "you alright" as a general greeting.

I really doubt though this was here for James' benefit, not that it wasn't planned this far back (it's possible, the first hint it exists is in late B4FV1), it's too brazen. I'm not sure if it's a mistake either, because its meant to foreshadow an event later in the episode, with James. So okay, it probably IS related to the messing with James to make him evil story, but still doesn't change how brazen it is.

Spoilers end.

"When are we going to start killing people?" Sid asked.

Still using Kidz Trek Sid, are we?

"What if somebody chopped off your head in the Game? Would you come out of it without a head?" Emma asked.

Lol, I could actually see the real "Emma" saying this.

"No. You would only have wounds around your neck. Anymore questions?" the Watcher asked.

"What kind of weapons do you get in the hunt?" Naomi asked.

"You choose a weapon at the beginning of the hunt. You can choose from phaser rifles, old fashioned weapons such as knives, axes, bows," the Watcher replied.

Some more facts for you.

"If that's all the questions you have then lets get on with the training. I will choose a suitable partner that matches your skill level. I can sense what your level is," the Watcher said.

"Oh dear, that can't be good," Tom muttered.

Lol, don't worry, I'm sure you'll be paired up with Harry for maximum shippy potential.

"The pairings are: Tom and Jessie, Emma and Sid, Lilly and Naomi, Morgan and James, Chakotay and Annika, and the rest are not important coz you're not in the cast list," the Watcher said.

HEY WHUT

Oh who am I kidding, this is Nameless Atthemo Watcher. Apart from James and Morgan, he's used the luls level not skills to match people up.

"I've been waiting a long time for this," Chakotay muttered as he looked at Annika who looked rather worried.

ANNIKA DIES COUNTER ON STANDBY, YUS! I'VE BEEN WAITING TOO, CHAKOTAY

"Do I have to train with Jessie?" Tom asked.

"Yes, you don't match anyone elses skill level, she is the second lowest," the Watcher replied.

I BEG YOUR PARDON!?!?!?!

Jessie is weaker than Sid and all those red shirts!?!? Fine James and Morgan, Chakotay's a big guy so him too. Emma at this point in the series should be around the same as Jessie, equal bloodlust too. Why am I trying to apply logic to this? The episode just wanted Tom beaten up.

"If you want it easy you will lose in the hunt," the Watcher said.

"Why do I have to train with Morgan, isn't she a trained slayer?" James asked.

Omg retcons, it burnnnnnnnnnnnnns

Okay fine, I kept this with the intention that he means officially trained by watchers. Still here because Morgan is more awesomer being the Sue and a girl, and James is neither (yet on one count lol).

"Yes, your skill levels are closer to Morgan's than anybody else's are," the Watcher replied.

"Since when?" James asked.

"I don't know. I can't sense everything. All I know is that you do have the strength of a slayer," the Watcher replied.

Okaaay

May I remind you that you couldn't sense anything at all earlier, but now you not only sense him, you know his power level is close to Morgan's?

Bulls$$$ Watcher Says Counter: 6

Only for the contradiction.

"Don't mention that name [Simon] in front of me, please," James muttered.

"Sorry," Morgan said.

"What did I say about compassion, no apologies!" the Watcher yelled.

What the fuuu x2

Jessie asking people to not say her attacker's name, yes that makes sense. James though? Um, why? It's not like he's doing this for Jessie's benefit, he says "in front of me."

And what Watcher, what? She can't even say sorry to people?

"This'll be fun," Chakotay said as he looked at a terrified Annika, as you can tell he was pissed off with the C/7 thing too.

I question the sanity of anyone who was okay with this, so...

Insert complaint about writers talking here.

In: "Janeway to Chakotay."

In: "We have company outside our hideout."

"You will need your best slayers to fight the sprites. Morgan, Emma, James, come with me," the Watcher said. He rushed off, Morgan, James and Emma were forced to run after him.

Um. Okay first, unintentional foreshadowing is surprising (ie Emma being lumped in with James and Morgan to fight the "sprites")

Second, yeah the company is extremely likely to be these so called sprites, but Watcher acts as if he's all knowing when he demands the Slayers to follow him. If he was, why didn't he know before Janeway warned them?

Nitpicking I'll admit.

Ten sprites were trying to break the door down to the large hideout. A few were around the back trying to get in there. The Watcher, Morgan, James and Emma arrived on the scene. The Sprites at the front of the hideout turned and noticed the new arrivals.

Before I go on, must say something about this hideout.

The Games Matrix was designed to be a tunnel where the games load and the inhabitants work, wait for games to work or travel, even live. No one else is allowed in it, the Games vaporise losers and it only doesn't because of a frequency. I won't get into the later episodes and their explanations for this place, don't wanna ruin it. The fact of the matter is the Games are cube shaped holodecks with the safeties in between on and off. Watcher said he'd find somewhere safe for the crew to stay and what he finds is something with a door, that's all that's said so we can assume it's a building of some kind.

With me so far? Okay, so answer this. Why would their be a building big enough to house the Voyager crew, accessible to them that'd be considered safe for non-GM inhabitants?

The answer? There wouldn't be. BUUUUT I have a theory, let's get through the scene first.

Everyone noticed that the sprites at the back must of opened the door quick enough to take a few prisoners. They came over to the other ten holding B'Elanna, Kiara and Harry. They were all trying to break the grips on them but the sprites were too strong.

That's an interesting bunch of hostages. I get a kid, but the other two seem random.

"That's it, they've taken the wrong kid hostage!" Morgan growled and she attacked the sprites that were blocking her path to Kiara.

"Oh my god, they got Harry!" Emma screamed.

Oh

"Does anybody care about me at all?" B'Elanna asked as she tried to pull herself out of the sprites grip.

Oh

I might not even need to finish this scene. Still will though. OH

Emma got really angry and joined in the fight. The Watcher also joined in. He punched one of the sprites.

Lol, but I thought Watcher was a whiny "intellectual" pushover until a certain something happens much, much later. What a pisstake

For the next part I'm mentally prepared for retconny crap

"James, why are not doing anything?" he yelled.

"This is so fun," Emma giggled as she hit a few of the sprites.

"Try to let anger overcome your fear," the Watcher said just before he was attacked by another sprite.

Trying as I might to ignore HOPEFULLY THE LAST JAMES IS A COWARD insinuation.

Maybe guys, just maybe James had the right idea. The sprites had hostages ffs. You three ran in, kicking and screaming. WHAT A GREAT PLAN, WHY HAS NO ONE EVER DONE THAT IN A HOSTAGE SITUATION. Because it's risky, that's why. That's why they're hostages. Sheesh. So yeah, James probably didn't attack because he knew if he did they could be injured or killed. He's long since castaway the coward crap, come on, it's not that.

But anyway, time for something I really should've started a counter for.

The sprites who were holding B'Elanna back were hitting her. One hit her where the child was. Morgan and the Watcher stared in shock as the sprites that were hitting B'Elanna were all beaten up. The others ran away in fear.

Lol so bad, soo soooooo bad.

Where the child was.

Suddenly beaten up

Written as if B'Elanna did it. But trust me, she didn't...

"Well, that anger thing does work after all," Morgan muttered.

B'Elanna, the Watcher and Kiara were still shocked at what happened

Anyone who isn't me: WHAT HAPPENED

"What on earth happened anyway, I kinda missed it?" Emma asked.

"Lets just say the anger overcomes fear very quickly," the Watcher replied.

WE ALL DID EMMA

"Where the hell did all that anger come from?" Morgan asked.

"I saw them hitting B'Elanna, you know in the pregnant area," James muttered.

How old are you again? Oh yeah, 10.

"Does it?" the Watcher muttered.

"Yeah, it's kinda a long story but lets just say the child that B'Elanna is carrying is his and Jessie's," Morgan said.

DON'T TELL HIM THAT. IT'S A SECRET AND NOT A GOOD IDEA TO TELL A WATCHER THIS, ESP HIM

"Hmm, I can understand that. You two go back to the others, I must speak with your Captain," the Watcher said.

Watcher: *cackles evilly* excellent

Anyway, before the scene ends let's address two things. First a quickish one. Once more James does his violence in a way that's not described because past Marill was allergic to it, or thought the idea of goofy pop loving bobble thrower James fighting is so funny she can't write without giggling. *shrug* dunno, but it's happened more than enough times it's earned a counter, even though I originally wanted to limit one counter per character and he has THREE already (WHO'S THE SUE NOW). Sigh. I think the OOC counter will be the next one to disappear. Nevertheless.

James Badasses Off Screen For Our Sins: 1

I shall update this at the end of the review to include the previous episodes.

Two: it might've been written coincidentally, I doubt it though. Watcher's shady as hell, that was intentional at least. He can sense things so perhaps this was what I think. The sprites get into a massive building hiding 160 ish people inside and only capture three. Each one means something to each of the people Watcher told to come: Emma and Harry, Morgan and Kiara, James and technically his unborn kid (poor B'Elanna).

Then there's the issue with the big building that's apparently safe, but 5-10 minutes later is shown to be really not.

All of this happens after Watcher's compassion=bad, anger=HELLYEAH speech, it's all too "neat" to me.

"They're what?" Kathryn muttered.

"I believe that they are natural born slayers," the Watcher replied.

THAT IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION

says the writer of the finished series she's rereading

ahem

but seriously, if this is still news and is shocking for anyone reading in order, then I'm not surprised. The slayer stuff in the last few episodes has been very sloppy, almost like it's been written and not proofread SURELY NOT

"They both have the strength of a natural born slayer. They can overcome their fear and compassion quickly. And Morgan has telekinetic powers," the Watcher replied.

Bulls$$$ Watcher Says Counter: 7

Oh so now James is brave, huh. Make up your sodding mind.

And wtf, this compassion thing is really bugging me now. James and Morgan rushed to the aid of their loved ones to save them, how is that compassionless? I suppose I did gripe about the rush to attack the people still holding hostages. Okay fine, you have a point Mr Watcher.

And wait what, just noticed after typing that. Telekinetic powers. When did Morgan use this earlier? I didn't see anything. See, he knows/senses more than he bloody lets on. I'M ALREADY ONTO YOU GUY I WROTE TO BE SHADY

"If Morgan is that means that Kiara is too," Kathryn said.

Watcher: *twitch*

"No, she has a different personality, and she will not develop the slayer strength, I do sense another strength inside her but it's not that of a slayer," the Watcher said.

foreshadowing

Interesting that he knows this despite never meeting Kiara and his sensing powers being inconsis...er not working properly. My only problem with this character, other than obsession with compassion, is nobody really calls him on it. No one says "hey, that's a contradiction to what you said before," or "how do you know this?"

"I suppose I can understand why you think Morgan is a natural slayer but Ensign Stuart? He can not overcome fear, fear easily overcomes him," Tuvok said.

SHUT UP TUVOK

I CAN'T MAKE THE BOBBLE JOKES FUNNY ANYMORE

"Yes but the fear can be conquered, with my training of course. Also he does have the same strength that Morgan has, yet she does have more experience than he does," the Watcher said.

I know this is bull$$$ but non prequel readers wouldn't.

It's retconny anyway. Doesn't count.

Or does it? Help. Can't remember.

I'll count it, he says it in the same "this is bulls$$$" style, screw it

Bulls$$$ Watcher Says Counter: 8

Who cares, my favourite moment of the episode is coming right up

"But I thought you said that..." Chakotay said.

"I did, but maybe Morgan can teach him better than me. I sense a potential bond between them," the Watcher said.

"Meaning?" Kathryn asked as worry started to show on both Chakotay and her face.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooowoooooooooooooooooooooh

"It's nothing to worry about Captain. The bond I mentioned is only in friendship," the Watcher said.

HE KNOWS

ofcourseheknows but lawl

"Why him, he always seems to get all the breaks. I thought she liked me," Craig muttered.

"Craig, shut up!" Kathryn snapped.

hahaha touchy muchy

"It's not fair, I hate that guy," Craig moaned.

and so it begins

Shame, I love the James/Craig bromance. Nah not a shame, I like what I did with them.

Sid and Emma were having a fun time fighting each other. Chakotay had 'accidentally' badly injured Annika and she was lying on the floor. Lilly and Naomi were having a cat fight. Jessie had beaten the crap out of Tom and he was looking rather dead on the ground. Morgan was trying to get James to fight her. The Watcher looked at his students.

Yes accidentally.

Of course Lilly and Naomi are having a cat fight. They're girls and Lilly's surname is very cat like (Liger, not Johnstone, never forget)

Sexist Crap Count: 1

"Sid, Emma, good work. You will do well in the hunt. Chakotay, excellent work. Annika, if you were a more likable character you wouldn't get as much bad luck. Lilly, Naomi you are not trying very hard, you need to fight harder. Jessie, excellent work. Tom, try a lot harder. Morgan, James, I'm disappointed. I want to see some fighting," the Watcher said.

1) Yes well done Chakotay, have a million cookies

2) Lol ohsnap Annika

3) This guy's advice is try harder. No wonder Tani sucks

4) Lol, Watcher, if you want to see some James fighting, you're gonna be waiting for years. Probably, I dunno when that crap stops.

"Have you tried attacking him yet?" the Watcher asked.

"Well no, it doesn't seem fair," Morgan replied.

"There is no such thing as fair in a Games match. You of all people should already understand that. If you attack he'll probably fight back," the Watcher said.

Why doesn't it seem fair?

"But..." Morgan muttered.

"Do it!" the Watcher yelled.

"I don't want to, I am trained already, I shouldn't have to," Morgan said.

Daaaaawwww, neither want to attack each other

"I thought you had what it takes to be a slayer, Morgan, but if you can't overcome your compassion you will lose the game," the Watcher said.

"That's not true. I'm not friends with those stupid sprites," Morgan said.

YEAH HI FIVE MORGAN

"Fine, your training is over. I must have been mistaken about you," the Watcher said.

FINE, HMPH

"What about you, will you attack her, or are you just as bad as she is," the Watcher asked.

"Why should I? She was right, fighting each other is not going to prepare us for fighting against sprites," James replied.

YEAH HI FIVE AGAIN

"I am incredibly disappointed in you both, but at the same time I am impressed that you actually are standing up for what you believe, I will train the others. You do what you want until the game comes," the Watcher said.

Unlike the other s£££ he says and does, I don't understand what Watcher's intention was here.

"Was he always this tough on you?" James asked.

"Yeah, he kept trying to get me to fight Tani," Morgan replied.

I have an image of a guy telling two seven year olds to fight because compassion is for pansies, then getting dragged away by police while he shouts "SEE, COMPASSION SUCKS!"

My mind is odd like that

"Did you?" James asked.

"Yeah, straight away. I have no idea why I didn't do the same with you. She's my best friend, you would think that I would of left her alone and attacked you instead. Even worse she wasn't capable of defending herself well either," Morgan replied.

foreshadowing in so many ways

So damn obvious and direct but never mind. Morgan would fight her normal but still a slayer (NO I WILL NOT LET IT GO) best friend since childhood, but refuses to fight her similarly strengthened brand new friend.

We get the general gist. No need to smoosh our faces with it. A simple "yes I did," with a worried look on her face would do the trick.

Anyway like his partner in crime before him Watcher changes tactics and tries to be shady with Jessie.

"You have done well, but I sense you're distracted," the Watcher said.

"Why would you care?" Jessie muttered.

BECAUSE HE'S SHADY, HAVEN'T YOU READ A THING

"It's just, in the last episode something happened between me and him. I think I hate him for it, but for some reason... it doesn't matter," Jessie muttered.

I like fourth wall, when it at least tries to be clever. This is the opposite, this was done so I didn't have to work out the timeframe.

Jessie's really gotta temper this blab personal stuff to anybody thing she's got going on in this season. Shame since this is important character stuff, it's interesting to me that she's mad at him for what happened. Still gotta do it, I gave her an exception for a few days old friend, but Watcher?

Jessie's Sin Points: +1

"You can't help me. I think I'm losing my best friend to a girl who's 11 years younger than he is," Jessie muttered.

Yes you read that right

Craig's jealous, Jessie's jealous, J/C are worried teenager Morgan's gonna be dating an adult man. Morgan's confused as to why she won't train with him, when she trained with Tani. James is wondering why his fight scene got cut again. Watcher's getting a good laugh from the little bait he left for them all.

But NO TIME FOR THAT NOW

A computerized voice started speaking. "Incoming Game! Warning: Incoming Game!"

I regret including this other ripoff. I had to keep it. I prefer just the menacing purple clouds as a warning tbh.

"Aren't you coming?" Jessie asked.

"No, my place is here, good luck Voyager," the Watcher said as he pressed some buttons on a tricorder looking thing. Every crewmember beamed away.

More watcher lore not explained. This never happens again. Not because of retcons but because the next few trips into the Games Matrix are a touch different. omgspoilerz(do you really think I wouldn't use this location again, lawl)

That reminds me, stay tuned for The Games Matrix Part 5.... hahahahaha got ya

"Game loaded. The Hunt 10 on 20 match, no time limit. Players must totally eliminate the other team to win. Slayers participating report to the Games Console to get access to the arena and the weaponry."

"This is it people. Good luck," Kathryn said. The five unknown guest stars were left behind and the others headed to the strange computer.

He got the game right, but didn't get the amount of players right. At least they were nice not to throw in redshirt fodder. That's Annika's thing now.

Can't remember if the episode earlier mentioned that Hunts are always grossly uneven on the side of the Games. They're allowed double the players here.

The arena was infact a large grassland and forest near a mountain and a huge falling to bits building. Emma & Sid had chain-saws, Chakotay, Tom, Annika, James and Jessie had a phaser rifle each, Naomi & Lilly had large kitchen knives, and Morgan had an axe.

NO ONE CARES...

Why did the cat fighters get knives, and what are kitchen knives cos all I'm picturing are the normal ones you use when you eat your dinner.

Considering chainsaws are in the mix I'm surprised Morgan didn't get one. Didn't paint her as an axe kinda girl.

Also can we examine the location description before we move on.

The arena was infact a large grassland and forest near a mountain and a huge falling to bits building.

LOL

bless

"Did you have to pick that axe?" James asked.

"Yeah, it's cool!" Morgan replied.

"It's messy," James muttered.

"So?" Morgan asked.

So indeed. "It's messy," whines the guy who stabbed someone to death 3 episodes ago, and witnessed bloody murders everywhere he went 2 episodes ago. And says to the girl with the axe and not the pair with the chainsaws. Okay James, okay.

"Oh dear, who didn't see that one coming?" Lilly muttered as she looked at Annika's dead body on the ground. Her neck had been slit and her head was severely cut.

Annika Dies Count: 1

IS THAT IT, THREE EPISODES OF WAITING FOR THIS? GOD DAMN WHERE'S THE RAGE

*remembers Dimension Jump is next*

NM I'M GOOD WITH THE NO RAGE

"We did, she created a distraction while we shot and/or stabbed the sprites. The computer did say it's 4 - 1 to us," Chakotay said.

I'm sure I speak for everyone here; it'd would've been nice to "see"/read that instead of this dumb summary. I WANT HILARIOUS SEVEN DEATHS

She, Tom and Sid heard a horrible scream. Emma was cutting up the sprite with her chain-saw. Blood was going everywhere.

In case you STILL haven't noticed, Season Two is a very violent season. Season Three wishes it had this much edge, that's why it's such a tryhard.

I am surprised the violence was this bad before the next episode. I always assumed it was after since I was an angry brat then. Maybe, maybe it gets worse 0_0

Sid had the biggest grin on his face, he was enjoying the fight. Another innocent sprite got cut to ribbons by Emma's chain-saw. Naomi was trying her best not to get blood on her top.

You know I obviously didn't mind the Naomi grows up to be stupid despite being a Wesley Crusher like genius kid joke, albeit I took it too far (one of my very few gripes with Season Five.... give it a few years, I'll have plenty then I'm sure). I do mind tho that she's suddenly a bimbo too. If anyone should complain about ruined tops, it would be Jessie as she's a clothes fanatic, but then again she'd be too busy fainting with James.

Sexist Crap Count: 2

One sprite attacked Tom from behind and they stabbed him. Sid tore another sprite apart with the chain-saw.

"9 - 2 to Voyager," the computer said.

If you're gonna have the computer tell us the score every other line, at least do it for every kill, not whenever you feel like it

Oh and RIP Tom

"I luv this game!" Sid exclaimed as they walked away.

Why? Have you gotten hurt yet? I should correct my Love Spell comment. Sid is not one of my favourites until he's not actually psychotic, just a harmless guy who can't live without pain.

For some stupid reason Morgan, James and Jessie had split up.

OMG, FOR SOME REASON HAS EVOLVED INTO SOMETHING STUPIDER

Jesus, if the narration can't explain it with "for some reason" and calls it stupid, it's time to stop and think for five minutes. If you need them to split up, it's not hard to think of a reason why. I do this s£££ all the time.

Morgan walked into a room that lead to the stairs leading up. Suddenly a knife flew down the stairs. She caught it by the handle and she threw it back up. A sprite fell down the stairs with a knife in it's forehead.

Morgan the Sue Count: 1

What? Yeah she's a Slayer blah blah, but my version of them don't instantly know kung-fu and whatnot, they're still human but strong, have better endurance etc... They gotta learn that s$$$. When did Morgan learn to catch knives and throw them?

She didn't, she's just perfect and you can't convince me otherwise

Two sprites came through, they were holding knives. Jessie fired at them both. One was really quick and it managed to dodge the fire. The other one got shot in the stomach and it fell to the ground.

The sprite headed over to Jessie so she ran up the stairs. It threw the knife, luckily it just managed to slash her arm. At the top of the stairs was a door and she ran through it and slammed it quickly

Meanwhile James has likely slaughtered 10 of these things, but we'll never see it, cos teehee he's such a harmless killer of one goof.

There was a choice of two doors in the room she was in. She ran to the one closest and she went through it. Somebody grabbed her arm and pulled her to him. He put a hand around her mouth and he hid them both around the corner. His other hand held a knife and he held it at her throat.

Oh of course. Who didn't see this coming?

I'll mark this accordingly later, let's see what happens first.

They both heard somebody else in the previous room. They heard phaser fire and then the sound of somebody falling down the stairs.

That kill was off screen, it doesn't take a genius to figure out who did it. I'm not even gonna wait and see. I'll retract if for some bizarre reason I'm wrong.

James Badasses Off Screen For Our Sins: 2

"If your team mate tries anything, I'll kill you," the sprite hissed. Three other sprites entered the room. Phaser fire was heard. The sprite holding Jessie back went back around the corner. "Keep on firing, and I kill her!" the sprite said. The three sprites smiled in response. James lowered the rifle. "Put it on the floor, now!" the sprite yelled. James did as he was told. One of the sprites picked it up.

oh my god, i'm so surprised at this plot twist, i didn't see this coming, wow

I'm just gonna have to accept that this is James' thing now. I think I still do this, but like the paragraphs above, not scene cut outs or "next thing they knew".

There's one episode much much later where I do this right, you read the action in all of its glory, then it's revealed to be James through his dialogue as that's when the characters who know him see/hear that it was him. And yet even though I prefer this to saying it was him mid fight, or at least when anyone can see him, I still feel like the 16 year old that did this crap. I think why are you so ashamed of showing James do Slayery things? Why? I'd like an answer to this.

but yep back to the scene at hand, I was right.

Sexist Crap Count: 3

Jessie once more the damsel in distress for James to save. This is not their schtick and you know it Marill! I'm not arguing that it never happens in modern episodes, more often than not Jessie turns the situation on the head and deals with it herself. When she doesn't it's for a story related reason. This, is for nothing. At least nothing that I can see.

Suddenly the door got smashed and Morgan stepped in.

THEN AGAIN

"Damn doors, I'm so used to automatic ones," she muttered. One of the sprites had bits of wood stuck inside the back of his head.

LAWL

"Oh yeah," Morgan muttered. She held her hand out and Jessie's rifle flew into her hands. "Here, catch!" she yelled and she threw it at James, he just managed to catch it. Jessie elbowed the lead sprite in the stomach. She got out of his grip and she punched him hard in the face.

Now see, that's kinda what I was talking about. Fine, this never happens, marvel

Sexist Crap Count: reverted back to 2

"That's for threatening me!" she yelled as she did so. One sprite got shot. Morgan hit the other sprite with the axe. She pushed him away just to get him out of view. Jessie punched the other sprite so hard he fell to the ground. He kicked her away but a phaser shot hit him in the stomach.

James Badasses Off Screen For Our Sins: 3

Jessie elbows and punches. Morgan hits another with an axe. One sprite gets shot.

If you didn't get what I mean before, surely this is the perfect example of this avoidy James bulls$$$.

I COULDN'T EVEN WRITE HIM SHOOTING SOMEONE, FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

OH MY GOD I JUST REMEMBERED UPENDI'S SHOOTING, AND NOW FEAR'S. SEND HALP

Chakotay and Lilly had met back up with Emma, Naomi and Sid.

They were all being cornered by the last three sprites. They were about seven foot tall with axes.

Five people, cornered by three. Okay. You guys are chumps, seven foot tall or not. Chumps

I just noticed Tani didn't get invited to this. Hahahahaha

I shouldn't laugh, Tani's storyline for the season is pretty rough and I suspect this is why/where it all started. Well, any idiot would know water would be weak to electric. GAWD

"That spiky headed kid first," the second sprite replied. The third sprite grabbed a hold of Naomi and he pulled her over to the other two. One collapsed with an axe in it's back.

Wait? Axe but no name attached, but axe? Morgan's the one with the axe. I'M SO CONFUSED

"Morgan, why did you do that, now you haven't got a weapon," Jessie asked.

"It was fun," Morgan replied.

Morgan, why did you do that? James was itching for another secret kill.

"It's just some kid and two more puny humans," the 2nd sprite said.

"I'm not puny!" Jessie and James yelled in unison. Morgan looked at them funny. The second sprite headed over to them with the axe.

ugh the twin crap again. I thought there was only one example in this ep.

James tried firing at him but the metal thing the guy had on his front blocked the phaser fire.

WHAT, JAMES WAS DESCRIBED DOING SOMETHING

OH it failed, that's why

"Remember what the Watcher said, we have the strength of natural born slayers, we'll have to use it," Morgan said.

Good god, I hate this scene. I know Watcher guy was pretty "NO COMPASSION, NO SLAYER" at her, but she knows she's strong. We've seen her utilise it in other episodes, but just in this one she's like OMG I CAN BEAT S$$$ UP NOW, gtfo with that

Don't even get me started on James having to be told this too. I'm sure by this time the prequels had been mostly planned. He knows, the prequel James wouldn't say this;

"But they're huge," James muttered.

THAT'S WHAT SHE... okay sorry

I'm serious. I'm sure everytime someone took the piss out of him for being shorter than them, he took the piss out of them for assuming he gave a s£££. Cos he doesn't. But Games Resistance scores two in one scene; the puny comment and now this. Prequel/Season 3+/modern etc James would see a seven foot tall dude with an axe and think "lack of challenge accepted" and take him out in seconds. Again, in the prequels, which had at least B4FV Season Two basically planned out.

But no. Games Resistance wants to portray both these two as newbies.

"I've seen a natural born slayer in action, believe me these guys are a piece of cake compared to what I've seen them fight," Morgan said.

Okay? Is this the guy who turned evil? finally, some consistency

"Nothing," Morgan replied. She held out her hand again, the axe the sprite was holding was moving on it's own.

"What the...." he muttered. Suddenly it flew out of his grip and it flew away.

Then again, I'm okay with scenes that have Morgan try to pull off a Sue move but failing spectacularly.

"What if we push him hard into that other guy, you get the axe and stab them both," James said quietly.

"It's messy," Morgan said.

"So?" James said.

OH IS THAT WHAT THAT WAS .... nope can't even be bothered with this.

Try to remember this, or don't cos I probably won't, when James tells someone that he never plans his attacks out in detail because if they went wrong, there's no fallback. It's better to go with the flow with a basic plan, if any.

Yeah he probably learned that but here's the thing, that's prequel James.lol

"Never mind then," Morgan said. They both pushed the guy and it took him by surprise. He literally flew into the back of the other sprite. His axe flew out of his grip. James picked it up, Morgan pointed her hand towards the other one and it flew into her hands. They both got ready to use the two axes on the two sprites, at the last second James covered his eyes.

Yes you read that right. James covers his eyes before he axes someone.

Remember Interactions?

This is only for the stupid he and Jessie are soooo alike crap, which is still happening. The sooner it goes the better.

Obviously Jessie collapses (a warning would've been nice), James only uses the axe because the sentence makes him and Morgan do it together (doesn't count if it says they both did). The Game ends and the crew live blissfully ignorant of the s$$$ storm coming their way next ever after.

Oh it's not over

"What do you mean. What happened to me and Tani is just temporary, just like you and James," Morgan said.

What? You made out with Tani in a turbolift? Or did Jessie train with James, then refuse to train with Craig. I'm confused.

"Oh really, either way I think getting back together will take a while. I'm still sort of angry with James," Jessie said.

"What the hell for? Something similar happened to me and Craig in Disconnected and we're ok about it. Accidents do happen," Morgan said.

bwahahahaha accidents, bless you Morgan

It's different for the J/J team, then again I don't think you know those differences, carry on.

I am curious though, what will Jessie voice as her reasons for blaming James?

"Too be honest with you I don't know whether I'm angry with him or myself," Jessie muttered.

Oh. Fine, I'll take it. Close enough.

It's fine that I didn't show everything that went on with J/J in the background, HOWEVER it doesn't show enough. We see no fighting, tension... or any interaction for that matter. Jessie said this and I'm sure they're a-ok after that. Not good enough.

"Yeah maybe. When do you think Tani will cool off?" Jessie asked.

"Knowing her a few months. She's really sensitive," Morgan replied. James walked up to the table.

When did Tani get angry? Seriously, Games doesn't like to show, does it?

"Tani. I told her that I refused to fight with you in the Matrix. She said something about you being my new best friend and she stormed off," Morgan replied. James sat down opposite Morgan and Jessie.

Again, I'd have preferred to have seen this. It's important to the season's story, just like Jessie's anger with James (and later admitted anger with herself) over their turbolift liaison.

"I suppose in many ways I don't blame her," James muttered.

"Many?" Morgan asked.

"Okay, one," James replied.

"Well, I'd better go.

I GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW

Jessie and James sat in silence for a minute.

"Listen, I'm sorry for what happened in the turbolift in the last episode," James said.

"Don't worry about it. Morgan told me about her and Craig in Disconnected," Jessie said.

"Typical, I was laughing at her when she told me. Then a similar thing happened to me," James muttered.

I have not cut a thing.

Resistance hates its similarly titled neighbour for ruining all of its efforts. Can't say I blame it, but I won't say why... no time!

"I'm surprised Craig didn't try anything else," Jessie said.

DAMN JESSIE, Craig's not that bad

James is like "I KNOW RITE, BUT shockingly HE'S BEEN APOLOGETIC, SOOO OCC". Then Jessie is like "LOL I WOULDN'T MAKE YOU DO THAT." James then thinks the conversation is too real and eyeballs Morgan's left behind drink, which Jessie thinks about finishing. Neelix ruins this awesome moment by informing them that his hit film already has a sequel and he wants audionees. James and Jessie are like NOWAY and the episode ends.

There. Done. PHEW

Will we hear from the Game Cubes again?

So tempted to answer a lot of this legitimately.

Yes the Game Cubes will leave a lot of voicemail messages asking why Voyager is ghosting them. Voyager has been hurt before so deletes

Will the Watcher ever return?

The Watcher will have to brush up on his bulls***** before he can. Takes time yaknow

Will Neelix's next film be as popular as the last one?

I'M SURE IT WILL BE EPIC(ally forgotten)

Isn't Hoot Hoot and Exeggutor annoying?

NO MARILL IS, OH SNAP

Will Tani ever cool off?

Poor Tani needs to go to Sickbay, fevers are a bitch

Find out the answers to at least a few of these questions next time on Fifth Voyager.

HAHA DON'T BE DAFT, NONE OF THOSE WILL BE ANSWERED NEXT TIME COS....

Next Time on Marill Re-Reads

Past Marill: OMG IMMA RAGE, OH LOOK DIMENSION JUMP IS NEXT. PERFECT LET'S RUIN THAT, EXCLAIMED

Present Marill: *appears in a poof of smoke, slaps the kid, poofs away*

Past Marill: WTF?

Present Marill: *appears again to steal a 2 litre Cherry Coke bottle, disappears*

Past Marill: WAH!

and more to come, on the (probably won't be cos she's lazy/unimaginative) second episode to get special treatment for being bad review of Marill ReReads Old Crap. Look backwards to it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Counter Results:

One-Off Counter Bulls$$$ Watcher Says Counter: 8

Muttered Count: 63 (394)

Sexist Crap Count: 2 (9)

Jessie's Sin Points: +1 (7)

Morgan the Sue Count: 1 (15)

Annika Dies Count: 1 (8)

James Dies Count: 0 (3)

James Kill Count: 0 (2)* I don't know how many he did actually kill in this, and whether or not it should count. 0 for now.

Marill's Playing With Her Dolls Again: 0 (16)

OMG ME TOO! James' Out Of Character Bulls***: 2 (15) Forgot to mark this, this is for the final scene. Again, I might get rid of it anyway since he is slowly being more modern James now.

Just A Little Bit More: 0 (7)

*NEW* James Badasses Off Screen For Our Sins: 3

Thrown Key Part 2: 1 (throwing heavy stuff at Tom, I'll only give him 1 though since the first instance it wasn't hidden)

The Love Spell: 0

Interactions: 2 (pervert punching, Jessie's killer stabbed)

Disconnected: 2 (the "fight" with Lee, though I imagine that was intended for the plot to work, and I guess the Sotjin ghost fight got interesting when James has the scythe and the scene ends)

Resistance: 2 (Simon punching, rescuing Jessie)

Season Total So Far: 10

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Score:

Negatives:

1) Why do they keep having the Upendi idiots in charge of nightshift? Haven't they learned by now, that's not a good idea. Also, what was up with the lack of Morgan in the "where is everyone" and placement mixups.

2) The Battleships sequel (Once Upon A Time) wasn't all that great, even with Morgan's sad "I only wanted to play" line when they're in the Cube.

3) Pretty huge plot error, Voyager gets taken in by the cube seconds later, showing no signs that they were even thinking of landing. I was wrong that ReBoot (the TV show) had this must be on the ground gimmick, it seems to be only a FV thing that was introduced later. Still should've been fixed by edits, it's a pretty big deal.

4) Summing all of these up in one point, to be fair as they're related. There's lots of little moments in the episode where it looks like past S2 or even S1 material has been forgotten so we can get lots of retconny moments like Morgan saying she doesn't think there's any proper Slayers around despite naming James as one in Resistance, James' little to non experience despite prequel episodes like Death Wish, Resolutions, the barebones of Broken Wreck (Lose Our Way originally) definitely being planned at this time. To name the worst few.

It doesn't help that the episode keeps calling anyone taking part in the Games "slayers", barely explains the distinction of Natural and Chosen (though I think the episode only brings up Natural tbf) let alone the so called trainee kind (which again I should rename as volunteer Slayers or something along those lines which doesn't look bad)

5) The episode does eventually fix this, kinda, but the first Game Cube we see is a Pokémon match. I know it's not over, The Slayers is ruined by this crap too. Anyway the Game is pretty damn boring and drags, I dunno if it's longer than the second Game but it at least feels like it.

6) Game Cube/Matrix facts are nice to get, but a lot of its Spirits-like expositiony.

7) The episode needlessly steals more things from ReBoot; like the icons that keep you from being fried in a lost Game, "warning incoming Game". One of which gets changed later, while the other is unfortunately kept for consistency sake. It's a shame. I'm sure there are more but I'm drawing a blank.

8) Tani's match in the first Game is so bizarrely stupid. It's not like it was a clue for a later thing or a moment to fuel the Morgan/Tani rift, or anything. Morgan reassures her it was tough, Tani says she blew it but later says the Game was hard. For a so called expert that match was embarrassing to read.

9) Yes "Watcher"'s thing was he was meant to be elusive, vague, whatever you want to call him. Sometimes though I didn't understand what he was saying or what his motives were. I took the gimmick too far, I think.

10) James' habit of not getting his violent scenes written is really starting to grate.

11) Morgan refusing to fight James and vice versa (probably because it'd have to be written, and we can't have that!) could've been a nice scene, but there's a lot missing that would make it work. Mainly that the final scene has Morgan mention that she told Tani about this - which is pretty awful if you think about it - and she got angry, something we never see but are told. Instead of Morgan callously telling her best friend that she didn't want to hurt James but was totally cool with her, which could look suspect to a girl who currently has a thing for him, Tani could've seen it for herself.

The other thing missing was the dialogue didn't land, their usual chemistry was lacking as well. I think you can guess, my daaaw was sarcastic.

12) The Hunt was rushed and summed up, which is annoying when the Pokémon match was fully described.

13) Missed opportunity. Seven/Annika dies in earlier episodes but appears later as if nothing happened. She is chucked into a fight to the death style game and I didn't see the potential of a character like that in this Game? Fail! We didn't even see the death scene, just her corpse, boring.

14) Morgan, James and Jessie split up "for some stupid reason", the scene may as well have said "they split up because I wanted Morgan to kick ass on her own, Jessie get captured and James can kill things without being seen"

15) I hate everything about the final Game scene. I get that the Slayer characters have to win, save them, cos that was the point of the stupid Slayer reveal scenes. The execution (pun not intended) of it is terrible. Morgan acts as if it's new info to her, James suddenly gets all blood phobic and covers his eyes before axing something, the "he's so big, I'M NOT PUNY" whines, the dialogue. All of it is bad.

16) The final scene where Morgan brings up Tani, while in a conversation with Jessie about her being upset with James over their making out, COMES OUT OF BLOODY NOWHERE. Tani actually disappears from the story, at least I don't remember her after her "but the Game was haaaard" line. The last I remember of her, Morgan was sticking up for her despite her fight being the worst loss in Pokémon history, but now Tani's mad because Morgan opened her big gob behind the scenes. Okay?

Who cares, the season needed Morgan and Tani to fall out so we can have this stupid jealousy/rumour angle for most of it (omgspoilerz.... it's not worth warning about), and it looked like I had forgotten Games R was supposed to do it and tacked it onto the ending.

17) James and Jessie are also cool with each other after one apology, from James only, as if he accidentally stepped on her toe or something. I mean making out in a turbolift isn't such a huge deal, it's not like they're best friends with a romantic past and so have insecurities about this stuff, with a kid on the way thanks to a love spell/drunktwisterparty or anything. Oh wait! Like above the episode had to end there so TOUGH

We (or rather you) never know why Jessie seemed to blame him, then realised they were both to blame.

Why after that revelation Jessie doesn't apologise back. She was basically saying KISS ME multiple times before all of that happened, she's not blameless

What happened in between the turbolift scene and Resistance's ending to have caused this fall out in the first place? No one but me will ever know....... unless I stop messing around here and write reboot stuff. COME ON MARILL, SHEESH

Sub-total: 17

Positives:

1) It may have nothing to do with the plot, other than Morgan and James hints, but I quite liked the opening cinema scene.

2) The episode does an average job, and does quite a bit, to introduce the reader to an important storyarc; the Games. Two Games, a trip to the Matrix, the Watchers. It's a shame the Slayers part is a mess.

3) The Game Cubes were originally ripped off from ReBoot for Kidz Trek, mainly the Excelsior spin off, however the episode does at times try to make the FV version different to the source material. The Games Matrix itself is something I'm quite fond of, the Slayer lore once it starts having care put into it, the Hunts later known as the Death Matches. Something I like and def kept were the choose to play options and depending on the Game, what weapons you'd like. You had no such choice in the original show, unless you were Bob.

4) If I'm right and the Watcher planned the hostage scene to happen the way it did, then bravo. Nice foreshadowing there, buckets of it. If I'm wrong and it was all coincidental, or Watcher sensed that James Morgan and Emma would freak at the hostages, it still deserves a mark.

5) Lol Watcher says he senses a bond between James and Morgan, and oh god the J/C panic, it's delicious. This is the first scene I'm over 90% convinced that a certain plot development later had been decided (YWF seals the deal for me at a clean 100%).

6) Same scene also mentions Kiara not having the same abilities as Morgan. Love Spell did it first, still, it's better here. Ilikemesomeforeshadowing.

7) At least Jessie uturns the damsel in distress part and actually gets out of the hold herself, with another girl as a distraction. James doesn't get the chance to act, probably because he's there and that can't be hidden too easily (NO I WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT IT, U SHOULD KNOW I NEVER LET THINGS GO)

Sub-total: 7

Marill's Rating: 29%

Rankings So Far:

#1 Resistance: 53%
#2 Disconnected: 40%
#3 Interactions: 37%
#4 Games Resistance: 29%
#5 Thrown Key Part 2: 23%
#6 The Love Spell: 10%

Ooops, despite the good stuff, there's far too much bad to save GR.

At least my prediction list at the beginning of Interactions' review has been right so far. If that continues the next three episodes could be rough. To be fair though, I haven't read Saturday Night or F9 in ages, there's no reason top of my head why these two could be as bad as what's been before. I know the next one will piss me off though.

For funsies, quick estimates for the next lot of episodes

Dimension Jump: 10-15%
Saturday Night: 25-27%
F9 Control Failure: 28-30%
Precise Timings: 50-55%
The Resurrection: 55-60%

Yes that puts two above Resistance, kinda, but I was surprised at how much of that I disliked so it's possible it can be dethroned sooner. I don't think I'll have to wait until Man Out Of You to achieve that.