Last Season on Marill Re-Reads

"IT'S TIME, IT'S TIME, TO TAKE... IT OUT, TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE"

Uncomfortable Level: 20000% SENDHELP

James Badasses Off Screen For Our Sins

MARILL IS ANGRY, MARILL SMASH KEYBOARD, UPLOAD LATER

F$$$ OFF TANI

Jessie stumbles more or less into his lap. "My lucky day," he thinks. Only he has a bit of a kink in his knee due to really heavy coffin sores, so it takes him a while to hobble over. James charges in next and since Iinan's favourite past time is staring at himself in a mirror, he gets a bit transfixed by the new arrival (but hey, everyone has that problem. James is just that awesomely beautiful apparently lawl). Craig runs in and ruins it, shooting him in his bad knee and so Iinan adds him to his kill for fun list. James is relieved to escape a scene unmolested and so decides to give Craig a pass for his next asshole scene

Slayers: If that is what you wish

Aggressions 2: *stabs them too*

The Atamit: *slinks in* hey guys, room for one more?

what a detail you had to include. I really wanted people to know how truly sh$$$ Lena was being to her four year old ex-sister now daughter.

Then again, James is super attractive to everyone, so yeah, he doesn't need chat up lines. Those are for chumps.

James: doc help me find my strawberry

The Doctor: excuse me!?!

EXACTLY DUNCAN, WHY INDEED

And that's the end of Voyager, it's time for the Fifth/Seventh Enterprise show 

And now the conclusion

Marill Re-Reads "Fair Chance" Part 2

Hey everyone, welcome to Re-Reads Season Three.

Now that the episodes are gradually getting longer, I'm going to have to figure out a way to make these ReReads shorter. Preferably a lot less quotes, a lot of the time I merely do them so you can still sorta follow the story. Also like with Two, I've shuffled round the counters so they represent the season they're in better. Some have gone, some are new etc...

Onto Season Three itself, I used to call it the season of edge. Why? I remember a lot of storybeats were done to make the series seem darker, as well as a lot of forced character drama. I've told the story many times as to why that probably happened, so I won't repeat it. Saying that, I have some itty hopes that Season Three will start to up the quality in places. There are plenty of duds, so have no fear if you prefer it when I'm losing more plots than a FV season.

Ahem, anyhoo. It's time to jump in with Part 2 of the very strange Fair Chance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To start this off disappointing, I accidentally opened fellow episode 3.01 The Rhythm. Now that's a season premiere. I open the right one and see the disclaimer mentioning that while FC2 rips off Cape Feare's best parts, it also rips off two other things. Thanks for ruining the surprise you jerk.

Last time Voyager got home, random mcs were killed, the Enterprise is in Seventh Voyager Mark 2's hands, Marquis and the kids were taken to Mercury for a tan, and Damien made a head smashing comeback.

In only a few minutes every Marquis crewmember, including the three kids, were on the surface. The area was lushly green, the sky was a pale blue... but the sun was covering most of it. The group could all see what looked like buildings in the far distance.

"This is remarkable, who had thought that Mercury could actually be this way," Chakotay said in awe. Everyone groaned. "Look at that beautiful sky, look at the...." he blabbered on.

I'm still waiting for Mercury being M-class to be explained.

James starts the season on a high, being relieved that their proximity to the sun means nobody can see what he is...

"Just look over there," James said.

Everyone looked the way he was looking, and they all groaned. They saw Annika picking flowers and being a prick, generally.

AH MY EYES

I mean yes I can see that, picking flowers and being in a good mood, who does that bitch think she is

Annika ran over to Chakotay and gave him a flower. "This is for you pet, embrace it!"

AAAAH MY HANDS AND EARS

Just why was Annika brought here with ex Marquis and kids, you wonder. For the luls of course.

"Yep, I'm pretty... now feed me!" the flower said.

"Aaaw, how cute, it can talk.... wow, you're growing fast," Annika said. The flower grew really large, and then it ate Annika. It cringed, and it spat her out.

Standby on the Dies Counter...

Annika, in one piece sadly, continued cooing over the insane plant. "You're so sentient, will you be my friend?" Annika asked.

I dunno if that's a good idea, this guy/gal has potential to steal your on screen thunder

Meanwhile the kidnapees reach a village with Ligers, Humans and aliens, oh my. Some of which are Starfleet officers. yes, that makes sense

"Ok, but who are those other aliens with the strange markings on their cheeks?" Craig asked.

"They're Porséan, this is their home planet," the Starfleet officer replied.

Lol, dat name. And you thought Ligers was bad. They're both bad for the same reason, except their name got a slight alteration since Kidz Trek died last season, to make them sound more like a species name and not a crossbreed animal. It doesn't work too well.

"There was another race that shared this planet with the Porséans. They left after the cloak caused a planetary disaster that flooded most of the planet. The cloak had a leak of some unknown radiation, it isn't harmful to humanoids, but it was harmful to them," the Starfleet officer replied.

I suppose I'll take it. sigh

So we're to assume that either or both of these scenarios are in effect

1) This species are not native to Mercury, colonised it, and the Porseans evolved much later. They did this in the Ligers dimension, what a coincidence, and not in FV's.

2) They are native to Mercury, and it's still hidden by the working cloak in FV's dimension for reasons unknown. I'm gonna blame the Ligers for breaking it, and/or the Sixes when they destroyed Venus. No I don't remember, this broken cloak and Venus going boom is exclusive to this series.

Cloak/Mercury exposition continues, 

"We don't understand it fully. All we know is that a field goes around the night side of the planet, it makes the planet look baron and inhospitable. It rotates with the planet itself, so in an hour or so you'll see it," the officer replied.

"You see the cloak covers the whole planet when it senses a ship, so because of the constant Seventh Dimension visits, the cloak keeps coming on full power. This constant use is causing it to malfunction again, so sometimes it stays down when a ship arrives," the other guy said.

Lol, my 16/17 year old self thought this was genius. Why does the cloak only hide the dark side of the planet, Earth can't really see anything unless there's light shining on it. If it were like this, Earth would not only have some fab shots of a blue Mercury, but we'd be over there already stealing their water and enslaving the locals.

At least I was close about who broke the cloak.

Exposition STILL continues, I'm bored so I'm gonna sum it up. It has an ozone layer that's super thin, 80% of it is water, Porseans evolved in the oceans (who didn't??), and doing something to the cloak will help them escape. Ok?

Back to Damien and company, the battle rages on again. Lilly thinks its an absolute super duper idea to lure the rogue Lillyia and its Seventh buddies into her dimension.

On the viewscreen there was what looked like hundreds of Liger ships all in battle with the few Federation ships that came through. All of the Federation ships and the Lillyia Z4 went into warp.

oh my bad, I forgot the Ligers now have a gazillion ships as of Heiress. Seems like Damien forgot/didn't know either. You'd think the rest of his crew, who I assume were on his side and/or brainwashed, Sixes etc... would know though.

"Yeah, there are a lot more Seventh Dimension ships in our space than there are of ours," Carly said.

So erm, question? What space in your own dimension, the Ligers should have nothing left but ships.

Doesn't matter, cos the point of this was they'd be in the right dimension to rescue their people from the habited Mercury. The other one's just sitting there, tanning its craters

"Unless we use the Liger Fleet as a distraction, lure the Seventh Dimension ships away. Not all will go, one or two will be left behind, but if they think the threat is elsewhere they will leave," Scot replied.

Lilly claims this plan as her own (as well as the previous one). That explains so...nothing. Seems like a good a plan as any.

"That'll be harder than you think. That cloak covers the entire planet 80% of the time, it blocks transporters," James The Third said.

What, its the whole planet now? Do you mean it's always up cos there's at least one ship there, triggering the cloak, at all times. not 80% It can't be both, decide

Oh I feel I should mention that the Pokemon crew are there too, so we have that confusing multiple James's thing going on again. AND I've just realised, Seventh James and Jessie (Mark 1) never did come back, did they? I could've cut them from reboot Dimension Jump, no problem whatsoever.

Lilly had to think for a few seconds to remember it. "Ah yeah, the plan. The cloak can be used to help us get the crew back, and let's just say the more Seventh Dimension ships left behind, the better."

That's more like it, that sounds like a dumbass Lilly/Liger plan if I've seen one

Back on Mercury, Chakotay decides to send all of Security Team One to go help the locals hunt down this cloak room, not realising that means only James and Thompson since Foster wasn't kidnapped. At least now we know which side Thompson and Foster were on at the beginning, phew, even I was wondering.

B'Elanna is volunteered to make sure Thompson doesn't die off screen

James flashes back to Hunters, remembers the good old days where he used to make really REALLY gross stupid comments, and decides to make up an even worse one. I'm not even going to post it. Its deleted, omgsogross.

"What for? I thought you'd jump at a chance to get away from me," James asked.

"It's either you or hyperactive Duncan. Somebody gave him some sugar," Jessie replied.

Yeah after THAT comment, I wouldn't blame her. Otherwise I have no context *shrug*

Everyone looked at Duncan. He was jumping around shouting 'why' at the top of his voice.

Aaaaw lol

I start to see the little details that were added so this episode can turn into Simpsons' Cape Feare, my favourite of all time. The starfleet guys take one vehicle, while the Voyager lot follow in another.

A couple of minutes later the hover car was driving over the ocean. What the people inside didn't know was that Annika was hanging on underneath it.

Thompson picked up a glass of pop, and he looked at it. It was boiling under the heat. "Erm, does anyone want this?"

Thompson shrugged, he opened the window, and he emptied the contents of the glass. Nobody heard the resulting scream from underneath the hover car.

HEY YOU MISSED THE SPEEDBUMPS PART, UTTER FAIL

The hover car was nearing a desert type island. B'Elanna slowed the hover car down as they became closer to it.

"Wow, look at all those cactus," Jessie said.

Oh yeah sure, a very humid mostly ocean planet has a desert island

but that driving over the cacti while Bob's under the car bit was hilarious, I hope they remembered to bring the rakes

The hover car landed in a clear area a few minutes later. Nobody heard somebody screaming, "my hand!" Everyone got out of the car with home-made rifles. They headed as quickly as they could towards the nearby hills.

Okay the hand one's new, but only her hand got squished? whut?

"Why did you leave those rakes and huge hammer things behind, we could of used them as weapons," Jessie asked.

Oh boy, there's hammers too?

and dear Jessie, for the luls, didn't you read the memo?

Annika of course recreates the iconic scene

She eventually stepped onto a rather large two sided hammer. She got knocked unconscious as the metal made a huge dent in her face.

She's still not dead yet??????????? I'm so disappointed

Everyone turned around and they saw the rakes and everything still on the ground. They didn't see Annika.

"Must of been the sun making erupting sounds," Thompson said.

Yes I'm sure you can hear the sun, cos you're SOOOOO close to it, amirite. science!

"Maybe it does, I don't think any of us have been this close to a sun before," Thompson muttered.

"You'll be even closer to it if you don't shut up," James said.

hey there was no mention of what the gravity is like on this planet. could be hilarious

"What should we do?" B'Elanna asked.

"Go right around the hill," James said.

"Go left around the hill," Thompson said.

"Go straight towards them and shoot them," Jessie said.

"Yeah, that's sensible," B'Elanna muttered, and she looked at the other three. She groaned. They were all glaring at each other.

I'm assuming this was the third thing the disclaimer mentioned. The other being the giant Annika eating plant.

Long story short, Jessie wins

The four continued towards the hills. Annika wasn't far behind, limping along. Suddenly she smelt something strange, it was like melting plastic. Annika looked down, "uhoh."

And here I was stupidly expecting a Mercurian elephant parade to start marching over her

Meanwhile on Voyager

"Er, Red Alert is already on," Harry pointed out.

"Then switch it off then put it back on," Kathryn said.

If you recall, the plan was to send the Liger fodder somewhere to lure the Sevenths away from Mercury, allowing Voyager to sneak in and rescue.

Everyone watched the viewscreen. God knows how many Seventh Dimension ships were standing guard near Venus, or what was left of Venus. One ship was the Enterprise E. All but that ship flew away.

Who saw that coming??

and wtf are they doing around Venus? They're not literally sitting next to each other, Mercury could be on the other side of the sun, no distraction was needed.

In: "Captain, the Z7 is heading back your way. The rest of the fleet will take care of those ships."

Why?

What's the Z7 again? halp. On a completely unrelated note, it feels like something is missing from this episode so far. I wonder what it is

"Tom, head Mercury way. Mr C, fire all weapons at the Enterprise.. but make sure you don't blow it up," Kathryn said.

Everyone else: why?

Janeway: *points to Season Three notes and banners*

The team started firing back at the people on the hills as they tried to get closer to it. One shot hit somebody on the hill, and he/she fell down the hill.

No proof but letme guess and assume that she was shot down by someone we just can't name BECAUSE

James Badasses Off Screen For Our Sins: 1

Before I continue I must question something else: who exactly are attacking them from the I assume cloak control room? Apparently no ships are in orbit, they got lost and orbited the debris of Venus, so we're to assume anyone already there have been a while. moving on

"Ah cool, look who I hit," Thompson said. He was standing over the person who was hit. It was Phoebe.

"What the hell, why would she be here?" B'Elanna asked

INDEED

"I've got an idea," James said.

"First in a lifetime, go on," B'Elanna said.

"I'll ignore that. Somebody should get Phoebe, and hold her hostage," James said.

It's a bit early for the James abuse. Though with that deleted comment earlier, we can let it slide

"Got a better idea?" James asked.

"Yes, kill them all," Thompson replied.

lol, remember this in a couple of episodes. remember it

"We'll try the hostage thing first. It's your plan James, so go get her," B'Elanna said.

Activating off screen stealth mode

The team continued firing as James got over to Phoebe. The other people stopped, and pointed their phasers James' way. He quickly pointed his phaser at Phoebe. The team stopped firing. "I'll kill her if you don't let us through."

"Like we care about that little witch," one of the people said.

but you did stop firing once he threatened her

and I'm damn sure you believe he'll do it, guy doesn't have a kill count for nothing

"I knew this wouldn't work," Thompson muttered. He fired at all the Seventh dimension people quickly, and he hit them all. Everyone stared at him as he blew on his phaser. "Who's da man?"

This isn't an imagined version of events either

um

Phoebe looked up at the team. "Who the hell are you?"

The team glanced at each other with confused looks on their faces. "Now that's odd," Jessie muttered.

James picked up what looked like a grape sized implant. "So's this."

um yeah, where did that fall out of

0_0

"I guess this Phoebe has lost the other Phoebe's memories," James said.

A bit of a convuluted way of saying it

Thompson and James continue bickering, and I'm starting to wonder if this was chucked in for the benefit of two episodes later

I SEE YOU PAST MARILL, NO FOOLING ME/YOU

Annika reached the hill a few minutes later, she was a little smaller if you know what I mean.

"Hmm, surely there's no harm in standing beside a very large hill with rubber trees and rocks on it," Annika muttered to herself.

How sad, she's suicidal now. the treatment of her is so harsh

I see this is the parade elephants replacement I mentioned earlier. Lets "watch"

Suddenly a few rubber trees fell down, and they tumbled down the hill. Annika heard all the noise, and she looked up. "Uhoh." One bounced off her, and then another, and then another. They finally stopped. "Why won't those writers just finish me off," Annika mumbled. Suddenly a very large rock rolled down the hill and landed on top of her.

does it count?

Annika Dies Count: 1

"What are we supposed to do at this command centre anyway?" Jessie asked.

In: "Do whatever you can to turn off that damn cloak. Team One out."

did they not discuss the plan before they did it? sheesh

no of course not, then the reader would know it too, can't have that

"We're running out of time. Janeway to Engineering, status," Kathryn said.

In: "Triah here Captain. The deflector should be ready in five minutes."

I've already forgotten what the deflector was for, or if it was ever said

"What is it, Tom?" Kathryn asked. She looked at the viewscreen. The cloak that was around half of the planet suddenly disappeared.

"The cloak's gone," Tom muttered.

"Great, we're screwed now," Faye said.

it wasn't "get the cloak offline", that's for sure. I really should check but the episode's just over halfway through and I'm eager to be done with it. So far it's just boring

"But Captain, we have to lower shields to do that," Harry said.

"I'm well aware of that," Kathryn said. She stood up and she stood in the centre of the Bridge. "Janeway to the Z7. Distract the Enterprise, we need to go to the other side of the planet so we can beam our crew up."

Lena responds: WTF mum it's halfway, this is my first scene and its off screen. I'M THE MAIN CHARACTER Who do you think I am, I'm not James, not even close

Janeway: wouldn't say that

Lena/Janeway: what?

In: "Well nothing special, I just said that since it was my first line of the season."

Yeah

"Does it matter, we've probably only got two more minutes to live," Ash Ketchum said angrily.

"Who asked for your opinion, Mr Angelic Saint," Lena said.

oh gee, did something happen between seasons behind the scenes? nah, why do you ask?

Lena takes Tani and Ash Ketchum with her, leaving behind at least Bryan and Stevaaay. Both of them decide to play noughts and crosses to figure out who's in charge.

I'd vote for Bryan honestly

On the viewscreen the Enterprise fired a beam into empty space. A small probe looking thing appeared. The cloak started coming back.

Oh I remember that probe, it's like a mirror and now I'm thinking that was the stupid logic behind "its only fake on the side of the planet no one can see"

I dunno, we're talking the late 90's here when I made this crap up

"How, there isn't that many crewmembers missing?" Kathryn asked.

In: "I can't tell which ones to beam up. According to the transporter, there's hundreds of Federation people."

lol and Ligers, but who gives a crap about them

Voyager fired a red beam from the deflector, and it hit the cloak. It exploded releasing a small shockwave that hit the Enterprise and the Z7.

"The Enterprise's shields are down," Harry said.

THE CLOAK IS STARTING TO COME BACK

DO DE TING

BUT THE CLOAK IS DOWN

FIRE IT AT THE CLOAK

make up your mind

In: "Lena to Voyager, you didn't even give me a chance to distract them."

Kathryn rolled her eyes. "Maybe it should have been a faster distraction. Beam over to the Enterprise, other people will be joining you in a minute."

Lena: :( why do I get the feeling this isn't my season

OH YOU

you're a season early

"Janeway to transporter room, transport the rest to the Enterprise," Kathryn ordered.

In: "But Captain.."

"But nothing, just do it. The Enterprise will be just as surprised," Kathryn said.

tell them to close their eyes or they'll be too dazzled by its beauty to do anything

"They're beaming people from Mercury here," Seventh Tom said.

"Great, this is all I need. Phoebe will kill me," Seventh Chakotay muttered.

LOOK HOW SHOCKED THEY ARE

"Boo," Lena said jokingly. Seventh Chakotay screamed like a sissy and he tried to run into the Ready Room but Lena shot him. "Anyone else want to get shot?"

He saw his kid with a gun, who wouldn't run screaming like a "sissy"

Lena sighed and she tapped her commbadge. "Lena here James, it's hard to explain just beat up as many Seventh Dimension people as you can."

James:

James Badasses Off Screen For Our Sins: at least 1

"You'll never be able to take over this ship," Seventh Tom said.

MEANWHILE
James: *walks over hundreds of bodies* I really should actually clean up this garbage afterwar... wait, wtf is that?

Thompson: OMG SOMEONE GET THAT CAMERA OUTTA HERE

"Hehe, your Seventh Dimension twin looks better than you do," Thompson sniggered.

"Does not," James said.

"Does too," Thompson said.

"Does too," Seventh James said. He was shot and he collapsed. Everyone looked at Jessie.

I was about to object, but Jessie did it for me. Thanks hun, I owe you one

Jessie: yeah about that, the next ep...

OH LOOK IT'S COFFEE TIME

In: "When the Enterprise's shields went down, I noticed that their crew's signatures are different. I can just lock onto anyone with that different signature and beam them to Mercury."

I SAID

IT'S COFFEE TIME

yeah just admit you didn't know how to distinguish between the Seventh and Fifths. Can't have James killing them all, can we. that'd be bad. Jamesy needs to quit that kill counter this season after all

Anyways Claire's bulls$$$ plan works cos of course it does and..

"I call Captain," Lena said and she jumped into the Captain's chair.

The Enterprise: I have a bad feeling about this

Z7: haha sucker *runs off at transwarp*

"Hi mum, er I mean.. this is Captain Janeway, no Lena, of the Enterprise," Lena said.

In: "Ohno."

Yeah um, it's too early for the Lena Sue counter. I mean it doesn't count, she's a kid playing around. I'd do this too, and I'm only a kid at heart.

Anyways the Lillyia distraction (and probably the Z7 escaping Lena's tyranny) starts to fail, five Seventh Starfleet ships are gunning for them. Voyager tries to raise their shields, while the Enterprise raises its warp core shield. Lena meanwhile raises her feet up on the seat.

"Let's see how shocked they'll be when the Enterprise attacks," Harry said.

Lena: hey guys, where's the joystick thing

Ash Ketchum: what's quantum, is it a type of pokemon.. I MUST CATCH IT

Tani: there, I've beamed the alternate James into the nearest quarters. Wonder if anyone will notice if I left

Annika was wandering around the Enterprise. She reaches a corridor where there's a nice viewport showing Voyager and Mercury.

She trips over a broken bulkhead and she lands smackdown on her face.

I'm as shocked as you she didn't trip and fall down the jeffries tube, into the bottomless pit of deck 29.

Oh wait 2002, when was Nemesis released again??

She then pulls herself back onto her feet with the most ferocious look on her face ever. "I tried to be a nice character, I tried to be a sensible character, I tried to be interesting, I tried to be funny, but this is the last time I suck up to those damn writers! I'm sick of getting this treatment on end of season cliffhangers!"

She kicks the bulkhead a few times. She gets ready to punch something, "die all of you!" She accidentally punches the viewport and it breaks.

"Uhoh," Annika says just before she is sucked through the viewport.

Annika Dies Count: 2

Meanwhile on one of the Federation ships:
"Have you heard about the shop that sells animals which can swim and fly? It's called a fish and cheep shop," the Captain said.

Everyone stared blankly at their Captain. Then they saw on the viewscreen behind the Captain, Annika flying passed. They then burst out laughing.

"Shields are up to 20%, but that's the best I can do," Ash Ketchum said from Tactical station.

PREPARE FOR RAMMING SPEED

In: "You think you are so tough, don't ya. Well we've got a little surprise in store for you. Surrender or we'll destroy Mercury, it'll probably kill all those Ligers and Porséans, but we don't care. You have five minutes to decide."

Something tells me that wasn't the comedic genius captain on the previous ship that sent this

"We'll have to take that risk, tell the Enterprise and Z7 to distract them. Janeway to Lewis. Transport as many people as you can from Mercury to the Enterprise when we lower our shields," Kathryn said.

um excuse me?

Enterprise is doing the distracting, but also receiveng the refugees, BUT Voyager's the one lowering their shields.

Did I read that right?

Meanwhile on the Z7

"Woah, I didn't think that we could tie so many times. By the way, who's been running the ship?" Bryan asked.

They both looked around the Bridge, some unknown crewmembers were at the stations.

"Hmm, I was expecting something a little more abnormal than that," Steve muttered.

What Bryan and Steve didn't know was that the crewmembers were all Vampires.

Only kidding.

Well it's no fish and cheep shop. backwards foreshadowing

"I wonder why they haven't fired yet..." Kathryn said. A torpedo smashed straight into the lower hull which caused the ship to shake violently. Consoles exploded too. "Raise shields!" Kathryn yelled.

Probably confused that you're trying to beam people to the Enterprise when their shields are up, while they're flying around in a tizzy cos Lena has the joystick, and you're sitting there with shields down twiddling your thumbs

All of the Federation ships fired at the same time towards Mercury. All of the torpedoes collided in the same place.

Ooopsie, how and when did it all go wrong??

"I doubt we'll get away in time, we only have impulse engines, we can only go at quarter impulse" Tom said.

"Just do it," Kathryn commanded.

what else can go wrong here?

btw, Enterprise and the lone Lillyia wouldn't have the exact same damage, just saying

"Voyager can only go at low impulse, they'll not make it," Ashley said.

"Put a tractor beam on it," Lena suggested.

ah ok, there it is

"Why not?" Lena asked.

"I need time to work out how to," Ashley replied.

wouldn't all Federation ships have the same LCars menus and junk. moron

The Federation ships flew passed Venus' remains. The Lillyia Z7 flew passed seconds later. The Enterprise slowed down so Voyager could keep up. Behind them Mercury imploded which created a massive shockwave.

Poor Venus, we never knew ye

and really, the Z7 are a bunch of d$$$s, surely one of the vampire crew know how to put a tractor beam on

"We're not going to make it. Janeway to all hands, evacuate to the Enterprise. Repeat evacuate to the Enterprise," Kathryn said. She looked around the Bridge. "You too," she said.

What, you thought I was joking. Fifth Enterprise E babeh

"The Enterprise has put a tractor beam on us, they're increasing speed," Tom said.

"That may not help. Shockwave will hit us in 5, 4, 3, 2..." Harry said. He, Kathryn and Tom rematerialised.

rip Voyager, and I eehh I will always love you!!!!!!

The shockwave collided with Voyager. The Enterprise's tractor beam was released and they quickly got out of range. The shockwave slowly died down.

Enterprise's Warp Core ShieldTM: *splutters and blows up*

"Yeah. How's Voyager?" Lena asked.

"In pretty bad shape. All power has gone, there are about ten hull breaches, and radiation has filled most of the decks," Tani replied.

Yuh huh, I was only kidding a bit, my bad. Now it begins, a new counter.

Fifth Enterprise E: 1

It's likely self explanatory already, but just in case: This is for when Voyager gets chumped or forgotten completely, while the Enterprise takes over as star of the show

In: "They went into brief warp to get out of the way, they're heading back. We've got thirty seconds."

The Enterprise flew back to Voyager's position, and put a tractor beam on it. It then flew back to the Z7's position. The fleet jumped out of warp.

Yeah I was confused, but I think The fleet jumped out of warp part should be on another line, ie its the Sevenths.

"Who beamed us here?" Kathryn asked.

"Wasn't me," James said.

"Yes it was," Lena said.

"That's strange, cos you saved Tom," Kathryn said.

"Crap, I wonder if I can beam you back," James said.

such denial, he is the expert I suppose

oh and it was avoidy, no one ordered it, I did wonder why that exchange was even there

James Badasses Off Screen For Our Sins: 3

"Hey just because I nearly kissed your fiancée doesn't mean you're allowed to kill me!" Tom grumbled. Jessie shuddered uncontrollably, and she stood closer to James.

omg, poor Jessie. poor girl's been through enough, so no more...

"I hate to change the subject but those ships are generating some weird readings," Tani said.

"What kind of readings?" Kathryn asked.

oh, be prepared for at least a little giggle

"How's the tetrion reactor doing?" the Captain asked.

"Brilliant, it should be working very soon," one guy replied.

"This'll teach them a valuable lesson. I'm so glad we stole it from that array all those years ago," the Captain said.

THE WHAT

SEVEN WAS RIGHT, THE PIECE OF S$$$ WAS THE CRUX OF A REBEL MARQUIS FEDERATION ALLIANCE TRYING TO KIDNAP SEVEN. THE SUBSPACE TRACTOR BEAM WAS REALLLL I TELL YA

SURELY YOU JEST

ahem. yeah, I still always thought there was more to Voyager Conspiracy than Seven losing her marbles. I'd love this if the dialogue revealing this was better

"Too late, a displacement wave's coming towards us, it'll hit us in twenty seconds," Harry said frantically.

The wave hit the Z7 and it disappeared.

"The Z7's gone Captain," Ashley said.

If it were only Stevaaaaay on that ship left, what happens next could go either way. But Bryan, the one year old son of Tom and B'Elanna is on it. Surely S3 isn't so edgey they'd strand only him somewhere, right

Tani sighed and she turned to face everyone on the Bridge. "We're about 74,000 lightyears away."

Bwahahaha, at least they have a 1000 lightyear head start

"About two weeks from a planet called New Earth, and we're a day away from a planet called Abatua," Tani replied.

It being so close to the planet with the monkeys worries me

But that's for another four part episode special movie thingy, it's time to have a funeral in a cargo bay for some reason on a ship that has a f$$$$$ bar as a Mess Hall (or they might have both, WHO KNOWS)

"Now we must say goodbye to our lost crewmen. Their service to Voyager will not be forgotten. They will live forever in our hearts," Kathryn said, and she wiped a tear from her eye.

YOU'RE NOT CRYING, I AM

wait

The Stone threatens the poor one year old boy who dared to comment. nice.

"Eject the pods," Kathryn commanded.

A couple of the unknown crewmembers picked up the coffins and slowly took them away.

Um, maybe it would've helped if you had this in the torpedo tubes. or had the funeral at the bar, with the coffins in the torpedo tubes. those poor crewmembers

"Now that we've said goodbye, we have something to celebrate. The wedding of Thompson and O'Hara," Kathryn said.

can't it wait at least a paragraph, what ghouls. and again, a flipping cargo bay. I'm gonna assume these idiots are lost

Jessie inadvertantly catches the bouquet, again, that's got to be a good omen

Tom got down on his knees. "Will you marry me, again?"

"What?" B'Elanna stuttered.

"I really want to make it up to you. You're the only girl I love, I only went near Jessie cos I was drunk," Tom said.

OH IS THAT ALL, COME HERE YOU BIG LUG

Jessie is rightly insulted by it, even if he really did wigg her out so much she has a reaction like the one earlier to the thought of it. jerk

"You must still have a thing for her if you went near her. If you didn't you wouldn't of gone for anyone," B'Elanna said.

"If that's true then it must be just a silly crush. I don't want anything off her, the crush will go away, however the love for you won't go away," Tom said.

Chakotay turned to Kathryn. "Do you want to renew our vows?"

"Oh I forgot I got married to you when I was drunk, I want a divorce," Kathryn said.

oh wow, this is super awkward

Annika had somehow gotten back aboard ... Voyager.

While I give the episode crap for the Cape Feare rip offs, they weren't the entire episode. I'm still gonna give crap cos the kicking the window out was from another fanfic. I remember that fondly, loved it and probably still have a copy somewhere.

"Hmm, it's rather quiet. I wonder why," she thought to herself. She felt all strange, and she started coughing. "It's the end of the episode, nothing else can happen to me."

What she didn't know was that she was slowly dying of radiation poisoning. But that didn't matter...... because a huge piece of the hull started to break away.

"Uhoh," Annika muttered. The piece of hull collapsed and crushed her.

this though, snigger, it seems original and I like it. One more for the road

Annika Dies Count: 3

Have Tuvok and Emma died permanently, or will they be back?

Did Lena come back from the dead permanently, find out next time. sheesh

Will we see Lilly and her crew again?

oh yeah I forgot about that. at last a break

What's going to happen in the movie?

he dies in the end, the credits roll, SURPRISE HE DIDN'T

oh you mean Oasis, erm... they go to an oasis on Abatua.

Was the Seventh Dimension responsible for the puzzle in 'The Voyager Conspiracy'?

pfft its been canon for a while that Damien was the one who nicked the tetrion reactor

what, you mean I never released that reboot? oopsie

Has Annika survived this episode? And if she has will she be getting even more torture?

do spiders scare the s$$$ out of Marill? the mystery continues

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Counter Results:

Muttered Count: 39 (39)

Sexist Crap Count: 0 (0)

Lena the Sue Count: 0 (0)

Annika Dies Count: 3 (3)

James Kill Count: 0 (0)

Marill's Playing With Her Dolls Again: 0 (0)

James Dies Count: 0 (0)

James Badasses Off Screen For Our Sins: 3 (3)

J/C are the worst (grand)parents ever: 0 (0)

Fifth Enterprise E: (1)

Up for eviction:

Lena (Child)Abuses Her Power: 0 (0)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Score:

Negatives:

1) The continued inconsistency over the Marquis, kids and Annika getting kidnapped and dumped on Mercury because they're easier to brainwash, not helped when the Ligers and Starfleet officers are dumped there as well. And yes, are not brainwashed, merely prisoners.

2) Just how did Damien take over the Z4? Brainwashing the crew, were the crew already brainwashed, Sixes, on his side already/sympathetic. Who cares, he has it.

3) I'm still baffled about the cloak. First it's only on the night time side (which is baffling on its own), then it's on 80% of the time. I had to double check, Mercury's days are extremly long, longer than its years. I'm sure I knew this back then, so wtf. As for only the night time parts of the planet are cloaked, I remembered why and it still explains nothing. If its facing the sun, we can't see it cos we are too. GENIUS *sarcasm machine cries and dies*

4) That really weird comment from James about Thompson and O'Hara's pregnancy. If you never saw it, you'll never know. I do though, its been there since 2002 so its still a mark against the episode. ugh

5) James and Thompson's petty squabbles. I don't care if it were setting up something for two episodes later, it's not very good for the most part. I also don't like that in two episodes time, which doesn't help its case. It's just another poor ripoff.

6) Cape Feare gets its jokes stolen from it. The worse one being the cacti part, which isn't different and makes no sense on Mercury even with its ridiculous lore. At least all the others get altered a tad. Then you have Little Shop of Horrors for another Annika bit, then a one stolen from a fanfic. Yes I like the theme of Annika falling into bad luck, but I'm sure I could've made up my own stuff.

7) Despite being a potential MC from the very beginning, Phoebe's actual introduction to the series looks rushed and makes little sense. She left her ship to hang out in the cloak building, when and why? She leads the defence team against the awayteam. She fell down a hill and a brainwashing implant falls out from somewhere, and bam she can't remember being Seventh at all. Did I not actually plan HOW Phoebe was going to make it into the series outside of "she was the evil version"?

8) Thompson deus ex machinas the enemy, it's written like one of those imaginary action unreliable narrator jokes I usually give to Tom. I dunno why, James was doing something. I'm not saying his plan had to work, but it feels like I wrote it in, then remembered Phoebe wasn't well liked so had written myself into corner, and I chose Thompson to fix it???? whut

9) You know there is a way to distinguish between Seventh and Fifth dimension people that might work. I remember phase variances or something from actual Star Trek episodes like the one where Worf's jumping through dimensions. That could've been used to beam Seventh Voyager crew off the Enterprise. Claire pretty much says I can do this and does this, without any issues like accidentally beaming off Liger crewmembers or anyone else like Phoebe that belonged in this timeline (yes omgspoilers, sue me).

And why? To get to the ending quicker obviously, this was not planned.

10) The Voyager and Enterprise shield mix up. ??

Sub-total: 10

Positives:

1) I know it's mostly unoriginal in execution (pun intended), but Annika's continously getting injured throughout the entire episode still tickles me.

2) At least Fair Chance Part 2 concentrates on the actual plot for a good majority of the time. The side stuff is actually on the side.

3) I love the ultimate troll of sending Voyager and the Enterprise back to the Delta Quadrant. That's the real reason for the episode's title btw, its dark irony haha

Sub-total: 3

Marill's Rating: 23%

Spoiler alert, this scored the same as a certain other two parter's second half. Eerie.

Rankings So Far:

#01 Fair Chance Part 2: 23%

Enjoy that while it doesn't last FC2.

Next Time: The Iinan Returns, the James/Lena thing gets ickier, James and Jessie have a rough day, Voyager gets sidelined hard, and Faye picks the short straw.