YWF

Episode Synopsis
Annika is beamed out of her imprisonment so she can be forced to fight in an alien wrestling program. Lena, Jessie, James, Kiara, Naomi & Bryan are sent to recover her, but they get caught in the show too.

Guest Stars
Marill as herself
Firera as herself
Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson as Mick\The Stone
Jeff Hardy as Ashley
Matt Hardy as Steve
Lita as Viria
Shane McMahn as Kyol
Steve Austin as Girnan
Stephanie McMahn as Cerena

Written By
Marill & Firera

Written
25th, 26th November & 7th December 2001

Episode Based In
December 2377

 

The Mess Hall:
Everyone in the room were gathered around a large TV screen. Lena, Craig, Jessie and James were standing at the side of it. Lena had a remote in her hand.

"We've only got time to show you one of our videos on our first single. If you want to see the second one, just get one of our singles tomorrow," Lena said. She pointed the remote at the TV.

On the TV screen, a pink background appeared, with the writing 'Presented by PokéBall'. We see a bird on a tree, then the camera zooms in on a garden. Jessie was there. A car pulls up outside, James is driving it. At the end the screen fades out.

"Ok, that was disturbing," Naomi whispered.

"So what did you all think?" Lena asked as she turned the TV off.

"It's funny, I'll give you that," B'Elanna said.

"I've seen Aqua's video of that song, and it's more or less the same as yours," Tani said.

"That was the whole point," Lena muttered.

"Well er.. to celebrate the release of our first single, you are all ordered to drink until you pass out," Craig said before Lena and Tani started a fight. Almost everyone cheered, and they rushed over to the available alcohol.

The next day:
Kathryn walked out of her Ready Room. "Where on earth, is everyone?" Kathryn asked as she looked around the Bridge. The only main characters there were Tuvok & Chakotay.

"I've just called Tom and Harry, they're on their way. I've tried contacting James and Jessie, but I think they're still asleep," Chakotay said.

"Why didn't you go and wake them up?" Kathryn asked angrily.

"Well I think Jessie was half asleep, when I contacted her she told me to f**k off," Chakotay replied.

"So," Kathryn muttered.

"So, I thought I had woken her up, so she'd go and wake James up too," Chakotay said.

"When was that?" Kathryn asked.

"0900 hours," Chakotay replied.

"Chakotay, it's 1200 hours, I don't think your plan worked," Kathryn muttered.

"That's strange, my computer says it's 0930 hours. But I'm sure I was on duty at 0800 hours," Chakotay said.

"Commander you came in at 1030 hours," Tuvok said.

"Damn, I knew I shouldn't of went to that party," Chakotay said.

Harry and Tom walked in, and they headed to their stations.

"Captain, a ship has just uncloaked in front of us," Tuvok said.

"Why today, why today," Kathryn muttered to herself.

"They're charging weapons," Tuvok said.

"Full shields," Kathryn ordered.

"We're obviously not going to use half shields, stupid woman," Tom muttered.

The ship shook as the weapons fire hit the hull.

"Shields holding," Tuvok said.

"Captain, they're firing some strange beam," Harry said.

The ship shook again as the beam hit the hull.

"Captain, I don't know how, but our shields have gone," Tuvok said.

"That's not possible," Kathryn said quietly.

"Tuvok, get our shields back up now," Chakotay ordered.

"I'm reading transporter activity on Holodeck 2," Harry said.

"Oh god, that's where Annika is," Chakotay said.

"Why are you worried about her?" Kathryn said, with a tint of jealousy in her voice.

"I'm not, I'm worried about the aliens," Chakotay said.

"Shields are back up Captain, the ship is retreating," Tuvok said.

"How many people did they take?" Kathryn asked.

"Just Annika, Captain," Tuvok replied.

"Good riddance to bad rubbish," Kathryn said.

"But Kathryn we can't just let them get away with it," Chakotay said. Kathryn looked at him, in a jealous way.

"Why's that?" Kathryn asked.

"She hasn't been cured yet. If there's any women on that ship, she'll probably try and kill them," Chakotay replied.

"Good point, Tom follow that ship," Kathryn said.

"Er... Captain, that beam they fired, it's made the engines stop working," Tom said.

"Damn," Kathryn muttered.

James/Jessie's Quarters:
The pair both woke up to the sound of Janeway's angry voice going over the comm.

In: "Janeway to Stuart. Why aren't you on duty!"

James and Jessie looked at each other with a worried look on their faces.

"Er... I slept in," James replied.

In: "It's bloody after 1200 hours, nobody can sleep in till 1200 hours!"

"Obviously she's never had a hangover," Jessie whispered.

In: "Who was that?"

In: "I think I know why he slept in, that sounded like a girl."

In: "Tom, shut up, I'm in no mood for you."

"I didn't hear anything, nobody else is here," James said quickly.

In: "I think he had too much too drink last night."

In: "Tom, I warned you!"

In: "If I were you, I would hurry to the Bridge."

"But I don't feel very well," James muttered.

In: "It's called a hangover, go to to Sickbay first."

In: "Chakotay, be quiet."

The commlink was cut off.

Jessie laughed slightly. "Lets just hope nobody believed Tom," she said.

"Nobody believes anything Tom says," James said.

They were just about to kiss when...

In: "Janeway to Rex, why aren't you on duty!"

"Oops, I think I slept in," Jessie said.

In: "Hurry up and get to duty, and tell James to hurry up too"

The commlink was cut off.

"Yes, James, hurry up," Jessie said, and she laughed.

"Yes ma'am," James said, and he laughed too.

They were about to kiss again when...

In: "Paris to Rex, I think James has a girl in his room, check on him."

"Er... ok, won't be long," Jessie said, she looked around the room. "Is there any girls in this room?" Jessie asked.

"Only one," James replied.

"Should I tell him?" Jessie asked.

"No," James replied.

Jessie tapped her commbadge. "Rex to Paris, there's no girl in here, so you can turn your jealousy off."

In: "You what? Jealousy, cheeky cow!"

The commlink was cut off again.

James and Jessie laughed. They waited for a few seconds, then they kissed each other briefly.

"Get me some breakfast," Jessie said.

"I can't be bothered to get up," James moaned.

Jessie tried to push him off the bed, but he was surprisingly heavy. He eventually was pushed off.

"Now will you get me something?" Jessie asked sweetly.

"Oh ok," James groaned as he stood up. He left the room.

Two minutes later he came back in with two plates of chips, and he sat down on the bed.

"That's a funny breakfast," Jessie muttered.

"It's dinner time, Jess," James said, and he handed her a plate.

"Hey you've got more chips, give me some of yours," Jessie said. She pinched some of James' chips, and she stuffed them in her mouth.

"Hey," James moaned, and he pinched some of Jessie's chips. The door chimed, and Lena walked straight in.

"Ooh, chips," she said. She sat down on the bed, and she pinched some of James' chips.

"Hey, they were mine," James moaned.

"So?" Lena muttered with her mouth full.

"What do you want?" Jessie asked. Lena finished eating, and she looked at them both.

"Never mind, now what I want to know is why are you two sharing a room," Lena replied.

"We decided before the party that it would be a good idea, it was mainly Jessie's idea," James said.

"Oh so, it isn't what I think it is," Lena said.

"No, we may have been drunk last night but we didn't sleep with each other, well in the way you're thinking anyway," Jessie said.

"That's good, I was getting worried there. So why is it such a good idea to move in with each other?" Lena asked.

"Well everytime we babysitted Duncan, we always fell asleep on the sofa. I noticed a while back that I was sleeping better on the sofa with him, than sleeping on my own in my own bed. Danny suggested moving in together," Jessie replied.

"Oh ok," Lena muttered, and she stole a chip off Jessie's plate.

"Hey, replicate your own chips," Jessie said.

"Why don't you put all the chips on one plate, and we can share them all," Lena said.

"Good idea," Jessie said, she looked at James.

"Why do I have to do everything around here?" he moaned.

Jessie tried pushing him off the bed, but this time he kept ahold of it. Lena rolled her eyes, and she pushed him as well. He eventually fell on the floor again.

"Ok, ok, I'll do it," James said, and he left the room again.

"You two are like a bunch of kids, do you realise that?" Lena said.

"Of course, it's boring being mature," Jessie said.

"Then why isn't it fun to be with Craig?" Lena asked.

"Craig's immature, in a different way, I suppose. What do you guys do?" Jessie replied questioningly.

"We go to the holodeck every now and then, most of those programs are rather dull," Lena replied.

"Yeah, he must think that having a girlfriend only means doing the soppy stuff. In my opinion, you should still fool around, have fun, be like kids. Why don't you tell him that," Jessie said.

"I suppose so, I could try telling him," Lena muttered.

James walked back in, holding a bigger plate of chips. Lena stood up, she stole some of the chips and she walked out.

"Erm, ok," James said as he sat down again.

"I need a drink," Jessie said, and she looked at James.

"Oh, ok, ok," he muttered and he stood back up again. Jessie ate most of the chips.

Conference Room:
More or less the entire main cast were sitting at the table.

"As much as it would kill everyone, we have to get Annika away from those aliens before she kills them," Kathryn said.

"Why don't we just send a shuttle after them?" Harry asked.

"There's a planet nearby, even if we don't mean to go near it, we'll probably still crash on it," Tom replied.

"Also a shuttle is no match for that ship," Tuvok said.

"I suggest the Flyer," Tom said.

"That was so unpredictable," Lena muttered.

"I agree, we should have the Flyer sneak up on the alien ship, and take them by surprise," Chakotay said.

"Yes, good idea. Who should take the flyer?" Kathryn asked.

"Ooh, ooh, pick me!" Tom eargerly yelled.

"Anyone but him, he wears the thing out," Chakotay muttered.

"I'll go," Lena said.

"Ooh, can I fly it?" Emma asked. Everyone felt rather nervous.

"No, shouldn't you be on the Dellia?" Kathryn replied.

"My brother's drunk, so we're just avoiding him," Lilly said.

"Why?" Tom asked.

"You wouldn't be asking that if you've seen him drunk," Lilly said.

"Didn't he try that mistletoe on your ex boyfriend?" Emma asked.

"He's not my ex-boyfriend! And yes, he did," Lilly replied. Everyone moved on from nervous stage to terrified stage.

"Anyway, who wants to go on the mission?" Kathryn asked.

"Can I go, I haven't been off the ship in ages," Naomi asked.

"Yes you can," Kathryn replied.

"Kiara, Bryan's coming too," Naomi said.

"We are?" Bryan said questioningly.

"Anybody else?" Kathryn asked.

"I heard Jessie say that she wanted to go on an away mission like this yesterday," Tom said.

"I didn't say that," Jessie said.

"Yeah you did, you said you wanted to last night during that party. You must of been drunk, I do remember James saying that he wouldn't mind going too," Tom said.

"If we were drunk, we might of said it, but we probably didn't mean it," Jessie said.

"Good enough, you two are going too," Kathryn said.

"Aw crap," James and Jessie muttered in unison.

The Shuttlebay:
"How come we got lumbered into doing this?" Lena muttered as she worked at a station.

"I dunno," James replied, he was at a station but he wasn't doing anything.

"Well you could at least do something," Lena said.

"I am doing something, I'm sitting," James said.

Lena laughed, and then she quickly turned serious.

"I'm serious, you'd better do some work. There's no way in hell I'm doing this on my own," Lena said.

"All right," James muttered, and he started working at a console.

"Works everytime," Lena said quietly to herself.

"So, er did you tell Craig what you wanted to tell him?" James asked.

"Did Jessie tell you what I said?" Lena asked as she turned away from the console.

"Yeah, she said that you were bored with Craig," James said.

Lena groaned. "That women tells you everything, doesn't she?"

"As far as I know, yes," James said.

"Well for your information I haven't said anything to Craig yet. I'm hardly going to walk up to him and say Craig you're boring," Lena said.

"Why not?" James asked.

Lena laughed again, "well I'd be insulted if someone said that to me."

"Yeah so would I. I'd hate it if somebody called me Craig," James said.

"You're hopeless. I didn't mean I would be insulted if someone said Craig you're boring to me. I meant just the you're boring bit," Lena said.

"Yeah I knew that, I was just trying to annoy you," James said.

"You do that without saying anything sometimes," Lena muttered.

"Thanks," James said.

"Tani was annoying, and you're annoying, I can tolerate annoying people," Lena said.

"Since when, you nearly or do beat people up who annoy you," James asked.

"True. I think the real reason I beat up Tani for the Games Training was to get my own back on her for being annoying. But that doesn't explain this," Lena said.

"Explain what?" James asked.

"The fact I prefer spending time with you than Craig. I don't get it, he's not a pain. But you're annoying, yet I seem to be able to stand you," Lena said.

"Maybe you like annoying people," James said.

"Somehow I doubt it. I'm going to talk to dad, maybe he can help," Lena said. She stood up and she left the shuttle.

"I was right, she does like annoying people," James muttered to himself.

Chakotay's Office:
Lena was sitting, with her feet up on the desk. Chakotay was wandering around the room, thinking.

"I think I have an explanation," Chakotay said finally.

"Ok, what is it?" Lena asked.

"The only reason you'd value somebodies safety over your best friends is if they were a family member, or if you had at least a crush on them," Chakotay replied.

"Don't be stupid, Tani suspected that, but it's wrong," Lena said, she folded her arms across her chest.

"Let me finish. You admit that you erm, have a crush on this lad, so you're going out with him. Yet you seem to prefer spending time with another lad that's just a friend. Right?" Chakotay asked.

"Yeah. What's up with me?" Lena asked.

"In normal circumstances, I'd just say there's nothing wrong. Most people sometimes prefer to spend time with their friends other than their own boyfriend or girlfriend. But the earlier thing I said suggests that you do have a crush on this second lad," Chakotay replied.

"Yeah right," Lena muttered.

"If the two lads were in a fight with each other, which one would you defend? Your boyfriend, or the other lad?" Chakotay asked.

"The other lad," Lena muttered.

"Why?" Chakotay asked.

"I have no idea, that's why I came to you in the first place," Lena replied.

"Which one in your opinion is the strongest?" Chakotay asked.

"My boyfriend, in spirit, but the other guy is stronger when it comes to fighting," Lena replied.

"I know what's wrong," Chakotay said.

"Well?" Lena asked.

"You must like the other lad more than your boyfriend, since you're willing to defend him even though he can clearly take care of himself. You have a crush on your boyfriend, so that must mean you have a much larger crush on the other lad," Chakotay replied.

"That can't be right. I knew I had a crush on my boyfriend, how come I need help in working the other one out?" Lena asked.

"In my experience there are different kinds of crushes," Chakotay replied.

"No, you can't be right," Lena muttered.

"Why not?" Chakotay asked.

"If I tell you, you'll be able to figure out who I'm talking about," Lena replied. She stood up, and she walked out of the room.

James/Jessie's Quarters:
Jessie sat next to Lena on the sofa.

"So Tani was right," Jessie said.

"There's a chance that my dad is wrong," Lena said.

"And there's a chance that he's not," Jessie said.

"What am I'm going to do. I'm going out with Craig, and you're going out with James," Lena said.

"I hate to say it, it sounds a little selfish but, I think you should stick with Craig. Most crushes disappear in time," Jessie said.

"Wait a second, aren't you mad?" Lena asked.

"Why should I be?" Jessie replied.

"He is your boyfriend," Lena said.

"Yeah true, but nobody can help it when they get crushes. I'd only get mad if you acted on it," Jessie said.

"Don't worry, that'll never happen," Lena said.

"Oh yeah, what about The Resurrection?" Jessie asked.

"Ohno, I want to forget about that. That was so embarrassing," Lena replied.

"For both of you probably, I mean Tani had just done the same thing two episodes earlier," Jessie said. Lena laughed.

"Don't tell him about this. First you, then Tani, now me, not to mention the odd few guest stars. He'll start thinking that he's a chick magnet," Lena said.

"Don't worry, my lips are sealed. Just remember that the only one that'll be worried if he starts thinking he's a chick magnet is me," Jessie said.

"Yeah, that's true," Lena said.

"Well, we'd better go on that damn mission. This episode is long enough already, and we haven't even got to the best parts," Jessie said.

The Flyer:
"There's the ship," Naomi said.

"Yeah, we can see that," Bryan said.

"Charging weapons," Lena said, as she worked at her console.

"And they're charging a tractor beam," Kiara said.

"Shut up you," Lena growled.

"I'll do evasive maneuvers," Jessie muttered quickly to stop an argument.

"It's no use, they've got us. Well done mum," Kiara said.

"That's it, what have I told you about confusing everybody since True Q hasn't been uploaded yet?" Lena asked.

"I know, I know, don't give any hints to what happened," Kiara muttered.

"Er, they're pulling us in," Jessie muttered.

"I'm not in charge, so what?" Lena muttered.

"Look, get it into your thick skull, you are in charge!" Kiara exclaimed.

"Well the Captain doesn't make up the plans," Lena said.

"Yeah, and mum's don't hand their kid over to their own parents when the going gets tough," Kiara muttered.

"Kiara, I told you, stop giving away the episode!" Lena yelled.

"They'd probably argue if the shuttle was on fire," James said quietly.

"Yeah probably," Jessie said.

The alien ship:
A couple of big and tall guards escorted the away team into a large room. A man in his late 20's or early 30's, was standing there waiting for them. Standing next to him, was a younger girl with a pouty expression on her face.

"Welcome to the YWF," the man said.

"You what?" Lena muttered.

"My name is Kyol, and this is Cerena. Our father runs the YWF, the reason why we brought you here was because we need some more fighters," the man said.

"A few of ours left because they were too weak, or not popular enough," the girl said.

"Then why haven't you two left?" a taller man with dark hair said.

"Very funny, Stone," Cerena said.

"And also we need some more lasses to hang around outside the ring, waiting for a chance to trip the other side up, or attract the male audience," Kyol said.

"Are you trying to say that's what I do," Cerena said.

"No, you just pop in every now and then, to show off them, er implants of yours," Kyol said. Cerena pouted.

"What will you do if we say no?" Naomi asked.

"Then we'll dump you on an uninhabited planet with the other wimps who wouldn't fight. If you say yes, we will get you food and a good place to stay. We spoil our fighters," Kyol replied.

"My mother's our ship Captain, she won't be too pleased when she finds out that you've captured us," Lena said.

"No, but she'll be happy if it was just you who was captured," Kiara said.

"Just wait until we're alone, and I'll rip you apart," Lena muttered.

"Who do you think we should make fight first?" Kyol asked.

"A Borg, if there's any," Cerena said.

"Good idea. Are any of you ex drones?" Kyol asked.

"Lena is," Kiara said.

"Nah, the last female drone who fought had to go to our doctor to get treated for broken bones. Actually I think she's still there," Kyol said.

"Are either of those lads Borg?" Cerena asked.

"He is," Bryan blurted out.

"Oh thanks a lot," James muttered.

"You're a Slayer, you'll be fine," Jessie said quietly.

"Get one of those lasses to go out at the same time as him. More guys will watch then," Kyol said.

"She'll do," Cerena said, as she pointed at Lena.

"Why me?" Lena asked.

"We are both alike," Cerena replied.

"She means you both have implants," Kiara whispered.

"My actress does, but not me personally, and I think this lass went way over the top with hers," Lena said.

"Excuse me! No one disses the implants!" Cerena screeched.

"Who'd want to go near them," Stone said.

"And you can leave me alone too!" Cerena screeched and she ran out of the room.

"Erm.. so you two are up against Stone and Girnan," Kyol said.

"Who?" everyone muttered.

"You'll find out," Kyol muttered.

The Arena:
Everyone was cheering, and a lot of people were holding up banners.

"It's the Stone!" the commentator yelled.

The Stone came onto the walkway. He made his way down to the ring, as nearly everyone was cheering for him.

"The Stone's tag team partner, it's Girnan!" the commentator yelled.

A guy that looked like Stone Cold Steve Austin came onto the walkway. He glared angrily at the Stone, and the Stone glared at him back. Girnan made his way to the arena, ignoring all the people who were booing him.

"And now, our newcomers. Please give a YWF welcome to James and Lena!" the commentator yelled.

Lena and James came onto the walkway.

Girnan smirked as he looked upon the newcomers, as they made their way down to the ring. The Stone stepped out of the ring again, Lena went to the opposite side of the ring. James had to go in.

"I've seen tougher looking people in a hospital, this shouldn't take long," Girnan said.

The bell thing went off, and Girnan attacked. He knocked James onto the ground, and he knelt down and immediately tried to hold him down. The referee went down to count. James managed to get out of it. Girnan stood up and smirked.

"Come on James, you can do better than that!" Lena yelled from across the ring.

James pulled himself to his feet, as Girnan got ready to attack again.

"You two aren't worthy of the YWF. You'd better quit before that girl gets snapped in half," Girnan sneered.

"What did he say about me?" Lena said.

She didn't get an answer. Girnan got smacked in the face, he stumbled backwards and accidentally stood on Lena's hand. She quickly climbed into the ring. She started beating Girnan up.

"How dare you stand on my hand!" Lena yelled as she threw Girnan onto the ground. She and James continued beating Girnan up.

"Stone, Stone, Stone, Stone!" everyone chanted.

The Stone climbed into the ring, and he helped Lena and James beat up Girnan. Lena and the Stone stepped back.

"Go on, you hold him down," The Stone said.

James knelt down, and held Girnan down. The referee counted up to three, and everyone cheered.

"And the winner is James, Lena and The Stone!" the commentator yelled. Everyone cheered again, even louder than before.

The Main Room:
"That was brilliant, Borg Fighters are definitely more entertaining to watch. We have two Borg that are the same species as you here, we can put one of them against one of you," Kyol said.

"What about the other lad," Cerena said.

"He looks tiny compared to Steve and Ashley," Kyol muttered.

"Doesn't matter," Cerena said.

"I'm not Borg, you said that the other two are Borg," Bryan moaned.

"It doesn't matter, we already have one Borg, we don't need another," Kyol said.

"No probs," Bryan said quietly.

The Arena:
Bryan stepped into the ring. In front of him was a tall human guy, with dark hair. He looked up at the guy, he was about a foot higher than him.

He thought, "uhoh, I'm in trouble."

Kiara and a girl that looked like Lita watched as the guy beat the crap out of Bryan.

"Come on Bryan, you're a quarter Klingon," Kiara muttered.

The guy pinned Bryan to the ground, the referee counted up to three.

"And the winner is Steve!" the commentator yelled. The audience cheered loudly, as Bryan lay rather badly injured on the ring floor.

The Main Room:
"Brilliant, simply brilliant," Kyol said as he came into the room.

"That's easy for you to say," Bryan muttered.

"Now I think it's time to get some of the girls fighting," Cerena said as she walked over to her brother.

"I agree, that girl who helped fight Girnan earlier was brilliant. We'll team her up with an eye catcher," Kyol said.

"He means me," Naomi said as she blushed.

"Yeah right, but I suppose anything can be an eye catcher compared to Lena," Kiara said.

"I really really want to tear you apart," Lena muttered.

"The eye catcher isn't here, she's just come out of hospital," Kyol said. Annika walked in.

"You!" she growled.

"Oh, here we go again," Lena muttered.

"So er, it's Lena and Annika versus who?" Cerena asked.

"Viria and the Stone," Kyol replied.

"Who's Viria?" Lena asked.

"She's Steve's ex girlfriend," Kyol replied.

"Wow, that helps," Lena said sarcastically.

"By the way, the matches rules are quite complex. One team has to kill one of the other team members," Kyol said.

"Oh, here we go," Annika muttered.

The Arena:
Viria and the Stone went into the Ring, everyone cheered at them.

"And they're opponents are...." the commentator yelled.

PokéBall's version of Barbie Girl started playing, as Annika and Lena came onto the walkway.

"Annika and Lena!" the commentator yelled.

Annika strode down the walkway, all the lads were hooting at her. All the lasses were booing at her. Lena looked at her in distaste. She shrugged her shoulders, and she went down the walkway copying off Annika's strode.

Less of the guys hooted at her, but more of the lasses were cheering for her.

Annika climbed into the ring, and Viria went out of the ring.

As soon as the bell went off The Stone started beating Annika up.

Lena pulled out popcorn and she started stuffing her face. Annika put her hand out so Lena would tag it. Lena put some popcorn in her hand.

The Stone rock bottomed Annika. And he elbowed her hard in the stomach. He continued punching her in the face.

"Oh, this is not very entertaining," Lena muttered. She picked up the commentator's table and she threw it onto the ring. The Stone picked it up and he started hitting Annika with it.

The Stone stepped back from Annika. She didn't move for a few minutes.

"And the winner is The Stone and Viria!" the commentator yelled.

"Oh what a shame," Lena muttered as she continued stuffing her face with the popcorn.

The Main Room:
Kyol and Cerena came through the door.

"This show is getting better and better. I think that James and Jessie can fight Steve and Ashley. A full Borg/Human match," Kyol said.

"But I've already fought," James muttered.

"Not very well, The Stone and Lena helped you out. I tell you what, if you want a proper fight you can fight me," Kyol said.

"But I don't want to fight," James said.

"Yeah, neither do I," Jessie said.

"Fine, you don't have to fight, but James does," Kyol said, and he walked out.

"What do the writers have against me?" James muttered.

The Arena:
James and Jessie came onto the walkway. They went down to the ring.

"And now, their opponent is.... Kyol!" the commentator yelled. The audience booed him as he came onto the walkway and went into the ring.

Jessie went out of the ring, and she stayed at the side.

The bell went off, and the pair started fighting each other. Surprisingly James was doing quite badly against Kyol. Kyol went up to the side of the ring, and he knocked Jessie to the ground. James then grabbed onto Kyol's arm, and literally threw him to the other side of the ring.

He went over to Kyol, and he tried to pin him down. The referee counted up to two, but Kyol got out of it just barely.

Kyol didn't get back onto his feet, so James kept kicking him, just for the fun of it.

Cerena ran down the walkway, and she attacked Jessie from behind. Lena came onto the walkway, and she came down and attacked Cerena. The three girls got into a cat fight, a more vicious one than usual. Kyol was eventually pinned down.

"And the winner is James!" the commentator yelled, as the girls continued to fight with each other.

Lena took a tight hold of Cerena, and she threw her across into the audience. She and Jessie then walked back up the walkway.

The Main Room, two minutes later:
"How could you throw my sister like that!" Kyol snapped.

"Simple, I picked her up and threw her," Lena replied.

"This is not the end. Your sister, and my sister will fight," Kyol said.

"I don't have a sister," Lena muttered.

"That girl sure looks like your sister, so she's going up against Cerena, after she's recovered," Kyol said and he stormed out.

"Oh thanks a lot mum, oh I mean sis," Kiara muttered.

"I feel like I've accomplished something today," Lena muttered. Kiara glared angrily at her.

The Arena:
"Cerena!" the commentator yelled.

Cerena came onto the walkway, and she strode down toward the ring. She climbed into it.

"Her opponent, Kiara!" the commentator yelled.

Kiara came onto the walkway looking rather nervous. She slowly made her way down toward the ring. She climbed into it.

Before even the bell went off Cerena used her arm to smack Kiara in the face. This knocked her onto the ground. Cerena grabbed a hold of Kiara by the hair, and she lightly threw her across the ring. Cerena pinned her down. The referee counted up to three.

"And the winner of the match is Cerena!" the commentator yelled.

The Main Room:
"You know Kiara, you could of used your powers to defeat Cerena," Lena said.

"But you told me to not give away anything from True Q," Kiara said.

"Oh yeah, what a shame. That means that you can't use them to heal yourself either," Lena muttered, and she grinned at Kiara.

"But you've just mentioned that I have them, that means I can use them," Kiara said.

"In your dreams, Kiara. You'll have to wait until True Q is uploaded," Lena said.

Kyol rushed into the room, followed by Cerena.

"Our ratings are dropping, we need a blonde bimbo and fast," he said in a panicky tone.

"But the Stone killed Annika, the only thing she's good for is attracting sad little single men," Lena said.

"According to our statistics, somebody called Sarah Michelle Gellar is popular among men," Kyol said.

"Er... isn't this the 24th century, people here and now shouldn't know about her," Bryan said.

"It just so happens that we have a character played by her," Kiara muttered as she looked over at Naomi.

"Aw crap, why couldn't I still be played by Scarlett Pomers," Naomi muttered.

"She's perfect. I'll put her up against Viria," Kyol said.

"Thanks a lot Kiara," Naomi muttered.

Ten minutes later:
Viria came into the room, not hurt at all. Naomi followed her in, she looked rather battered compared to Viria. Kyol walked up to her.

"Good job, the ratings have went soaring up," he said.

"But I lost," Naomi said.

"So, millions of lads kept this program on because they could see you," Kyol said.

"Oh great, I'm the new Annika," Naomi muttered.

"We've got three matches until this show ends. That means we've got to put the biggies on. The 4 against 4 tag match, another death match, and the tag team death match," Kyol said.

"No wonder you keep running out of fighters," Jessie said.

"I have chosen for the first team for the tag match. Steve, Ashley, The Stone and Viria," Kyol said.

"That's not a fair team, one of them is huge compared to the others," Bryan said.

"Glad you volunteered for the second team. We'll have Lena, Jessie and James with you on that team," Kyol said, and he walked out.

"I didn't volunteer," Bryan muttered.

"None of us did," James said.

"And they say the women are the cowards," Lena said.

"We're not being cowards, we were just pointing out that we didn't volunteer," Bryan said.

"Whatever, Bryan," Lena muttered.

Voyager
Tom/B'Elanna's Quarters:
B'Elanna walked through the main door and she walked over to where Tom was sitting. He was watching his old looking TV, it showed the alien YWF arena.

"What are you watching?" B'Elanna asked.

"I was just fiddling with the aerial since it the picture was going bad. I found out why, the TV was getting interference from an alien TV broadcasting satellite. I managed to get this up, it looks like a wrestling program," Tom replied.

"How long have you had it on?" B'Elanna asked.

"A few seconds, I don't know what's going on yet," Tom replied.

On the TV, the audience cheered loudly as the commentator appeared on the screen.

"And now it's time for our 4 against 4 tag match. Please welcome the first team, The Stone, and Team Extreme!"

The Stone, Viria, Steve and another lad came onto the walkway, and they went down to the ring.

"And now the newcomer team. Welcome Lena, James, Jessie and....."

"What the, it isn't who I think it is, is it?" Tom asked.

"Nah, it'll just be some people with the same names," B'Elanna replied.

".... Bryan!" the commentator yelled.

Lena, James, Jessie and Bryan came onto the walkway.

"B'Elanna, that's our Bryan," Tom muttered.

"What the hell are they doing there!?" B'Elanna yelled. She tapped her commbadge. "Torres to Bridge."

The Bridge:
Kathryn tapped her commbadge.

"Go ahead B'Elanna," she said.

In: "Captain, I think that ship that captured Annika is a similar ship to the Tsunkatse."

"Why is Annika fighting on a TV show or something?" Kathryn asked.

In: "No, I think our away team was captured by them too. Lena, James, Jessie and Bryan are going to fight."

"Oh great. When will our propulsion systems be up and running?" Chakotay asked.

In: "Another hour should do it."

"Captain, I have an idea," Tuvok said.

"Lets hear it," Kathryn said.

"A shuttle might be able to sneak towards the ship when a fight is going on. They will be distracted by it. If I take a shuttle over, I might be able to beam the away team out," Tuvok said.

"They'll have shields, how will you get past them?" Chakotay asked.

"Don't worry, Commander, I have a way of getting past them," Tuvok replied.

"Why doesn't that make me feel better?" Kathryn muttered.

Meanwhile...
A Nut House, aka Marill's House:
Firera was sitting on the computer chair slowly typing on the keyboard. She had large headphones over her head while listening to 'My oh My' by Aqua. Marill was sitting on the edge of the bed, with her eyes glued to the yellow TV (not literally). The Mummy Returns was on the screen.

"I'm tired, can't you take over,"  Firera moaned in a loud voice.

"Mummy Returns," Marill muttered, she didn't even move a muscle. Firera took her headphones off when Barbie Girl started. She turned the chair around to face Marill.

"Little help!" Firera snapped.

"Aw cool, look at all those Scarabs that are under that guy's skin! Cool, they've just come out of his mouth!" Marill giggled. Firera shuddered and she quickly turned away from the TV.

"How can you watch a vile movie like that," Firera muttered.

"It's not vile, aw cool there's what's left of Imhotep," Marill said. Firera shuddered again.

"Will you just listen to me?" Firera asked. Marill groaned and she stopped the video.

"Fine, but you're wasting valuable Mummy Returns watching time," Marill replied.

Firera rolled her eyes. "I'm sick of typing, you take over," she said.

"But I'm watching the Mummy Returns, and I'm sick of typing," Marill moaned. She turned to look at the computer screen. "You've only bloody wrote one scene, and it's not even finished yet!" Marill exclaimed.

"Well, I'm tired from school," Firera moaned.

"Hey, I've been ill for god knows how long, but I've still managed to write as much episodes as I can on my own, plus I did the new look site thing all by myself too. In the end the episodes are falling behind because of you," Marill said angrily.

"Hey don't blame me, Raichu and Charizard aren't helping either. Anyway some people have school to go to," Firera moaned.

"You get out of bloody school at 3:30, I usually get out of college at 4, and I don't get home till about 5, and I still manage to work," Marill said angrily, smoke was starting to come from her ears.

"Homework has to be done," Firera muttered.

"Homework? What is homework?" Marill said in a confused tone of voice.

"Plus I'm trying to fit in a social life," Firera said.

"What the hell is a social life?" Marill asked. Firera briefly looked at the computer screen, and she looked back at Marill.

"Fine, I'll try to do some more typing, you continue with the Mummy Returns," Firera said. Marill played the video. Firera put her headphones back on. She thought, "I forgot, TV and the sites are her social life."

"Mummy Returns," Marill muttered as she became hooked onto the TV again.

Firera thought, "I hate films like this, why did she have to get the computer moved into her room, now I have to watch it."

Back in the Arena:
"The rules are simple. Each member of the first team will fight a member of the second team. Whoever stays on the ground for three seconds loses the round. Whichever team wins three rounds, wins the match!" the commentator yelled.

Lena was the first to go into the ring. The lad went into the ring to face her.

"It's been a while," he said.

"Ashley? What are you and your brother doing here?" Lena said questioningly.

"Well duh, I've been here ever since that ship kidnapped me and Steve from the Borg Sphere," the lad replied.

The usual bell thing went off.

"Maybe Steve should get up here, I don't want to fight you Morgan," Ashley said. James and Jessie cringed when Ashley said Morgan.

"It's Lena now, and I'm going to rip your head off for calling me that," Lena growled, she smacked Ashley in the face, and he stumbled backwards.

He quickly regained balance. He took a hold of Lena's arm. He swung his arm to the right, at the same time he let go of Lena's arm. She used the side of the ring to pull herself back onto her feet.

Meanwhile Ashley was climbing on to the corner of the ring. Lena literally threw him off, and he landed, with a large thud, onto the ring floor. The referee counted up to three, and the bell went off.

Lena climbed out of the ring and joined the others. Ashley did the same.

The referee went over to the second team, and he picked out the Stone. The Stone climbed into the arena, looking as tough as ever. The referee went over to the second team. He pointed his finger at James.

"I'm not fighting him," James moaned as he looked into the ring. The Stone was obviously more than twice his size.

"Just pretend he's just big with fat," Lena said.

"That's just as bad," James muttered. The referee shook his head.

"Then, it's either the other girl, or that younger lad," he said.

"Oh come on, I got beat by that Steve guy," Bryan moaned. Jessie shook her head quickly.

"If you can't fight him, I can't," she said.

"Just go, Bryan will most definitely lose, and Jessie, well she's just as cowardly as you are," Lena said.

"Oh thanks," Bryan and Jessie said in unison.

"Oh fine. If you do a bet on how long I'll be in hospital, put me down for two weeks," James said.

"Ok, but my bet's on a month," Bryan said.

Meanwhile on Voyager:
Tom was in hysterics as he watched the TV screen. B'Elanna was just sitting on the sofa looking rather worried.

"He has to fight that big guy, he's going to get creamed," Tom laughed.

Duncan came in to the main room, and he jumped onto B'Elanna's knee holding a bar of chocolate. He pointed at the TV screen, and he looked up at B'Elanna.

"This I gotta record," Tom said. He pulled out his video machine, and he quickly connected it to the TV. He then pressed record.

"Sometimes you can be really sick, you know that Tom?" B'Elanna said.

"Aw come on, Bella, live a little," Tom sniggered.

Back in the arena:
Lena, Bryan and Jessie looked on as the Stone did all his actor's moves on James (well, all except two).

"That's it, I can't bare to watch," Jessie muttered, and she turned away.

"You'd think he could do better than that," Lena said.

"Well, at least he can get back up, but if it were me I'd stay down and lose," Bryan said.

The Stone did his most famous move, the Rock Bottom, or rather the Stone Bottom.

"That's gotta hurt," Bryan muttered. Jessie smacked Bryan in the face.

"Will you shut up!" she yelled angrily.

The Stone turned to face the audience, as the referee started counting up to three.

"Battle is over, I'll turn back to Normal Mode," the Stone said. He pulled out a remote from nowhere in particular, and he pressed a button. Some guy ran up to the ring and handed him some black clothes and sunglasses. He quickly slipped them over his wrestling trunks. He slipped the sunglasses on. He smiled sweetly at the audience, and all the lasses in the audience swooned.

"That was disturbing," Lena muttered.

"You idiot, the fight's not over, he just counted up to two," Viria yelled from across the ring.

"Ooops, not again," the Stone muttered. He turned around quickly, but he got hit in the face. He collapsed onto the ground. The referee counted up to three.

"My god, how did he do that?" Lena asked.

"What's going on?" Jessie asked. Lena took a hold of her by the shoulders, and she turned her around to face the ring again.

"He won," Lena replied.

"How?" Bryan stuttered.

"It appears the Stone has lost again due to changing into Normal Mode too early. His Normal Mode just couldn't take in a hit!" the commentator yelled.

"I'm none of the wiser," Lena muttered.

A confused James got out of the ring and joined the others. The Stone rejoined his team.

"How come you managed to knock a guy that big onto the ground?" Lena asked.

"I don't know," James replied.

"Maybe he's one of those cyborg guys from 'Resistance'," Bryan said.

"No, they didn't use remote's," Lena said.

The referee came over to the first team, they picked out Viria. He came over to the first team, and he pointed at Jessie.

Meanwhile on Voyager:
Tom and B'Elanna were still in shock as they watched the TV screen. Duncan was still sitting on B'Elanna's knee, clapping his chocolate covered hands really fast.

"Er... I need some alcohol," Tom muttered, he got off the chair. He rushed over to the replicator and he ordered a six pack.

Back in the arena:
Jessie and Viria were in the ring, the bell thing was about to go off when everyone started booing for some reason. Everyone turned their heads and they saw Kyol standing on the walkway with a microphone.

"As you all know, I am the manager of the YCW, but I will soon be the manager of the YWF. Anyone who stands in my way now will be crushed like a bug. Join me now, and spare yourself some embarrassment!" Kyol yelled.

Everyone booed at him. He smiled. "I haven't finished yet! I know all you little people are on my fathers side in this. That is probably because you're so afraid of change, or maybe you're all afraid of me, just like my father. The YWF will be mine!" Kyol yelled. The booing continued.

Lena rolled her eyes and she headed over to Kyol.

"What's she doing?" Jessie said quietly. Lena briefly turned back toward her, and she turned back. She stopped when she was about two metres in front of Kyol.

"Let me just say, being a telepath in a full stadium can be very annoying at first. They're all thinking more or less different things so it's hard to make out. But now, I can work out what people are thinking. You know why? They're nearly all thinking the same thing," Lena said.

Everyone started cheering as Kyol closed the gap between he and Lena by another metre. "And what are they thinking?" he asked.

Lena looked around the audience, she grinned and she turned back to Kyol. "I can hear, Kyol's a big sack of crap. Kyol's all talk. That's the biggest pile of bulls**t I've ever heard. You get the general idea," Lena replied.

Everyone cheered in agreement. Kyol smiled menacingly at Lena.

"We've only known each other for a short while. I don't usually get newcomers talking to me like that. Why don't you tell me what people think of this," Kyol said. He went over to the audience, and he took one of the small plastic chairs.

"I can tell you what I'm thinking if you like. I'm thinking, that guy is going to get the pounding of his life if he hits me with that," Lena said.

"I wouldn't do that, I'm all talk, aren't I?" Kyol said questioningly. He dropped the chair onto the ground. "Instead, I challenge you to a death match," he said.

Lena tried not to laugh. "You won't stand a chance," she said.

"We'll see about that," Kyol said.

Two minutes later:
Kyol was lying badly beaten on the walkway. Everyone was cheering incredibly loudly as the Stone passed her a table.

"Here you go, young lady," he said politely.

"Er..." Lena muttered.

Steve and Ashley came over and they dragged him away.

"Don't worry about it, he's always this bigger softie and whatever, in this mode," Steve said. Lena meekly nodded.

She dropped the table on Kyol by accident, everyone gasped.

"Oops, oh well," Lena muttered.

Cerena ran onto the walkway.

"Nooooooooooo, you killed my brother!" she screamed in a over dramatic voice.

A guy ran in and passed her a piece of paper, and he ran back out.

"Oh but never mind that, our ratings are higher than they've ever been since I appeared on the show," she said happily.

"Maybe if somebody killed you the show'd be better off," Lena said.

"Don't be stupid, we'd lose male teens, we can't have that," Cerena said. Everyone, including the audience, rolled their eyes in unison.

The Main Room:
Everyone that was still alive were gathered around Cerena.

"It's nearly the end of this week's show, and you know what that means," Cerena said. Everyone but the Voyager crewmembers groaned. "That's right, the ultimate death match," Cerena said.

"But you've had two already, Annika and Kyol were killed by tables," Naomi said.

"I mean ultimate, as in real fights. Annika was only used to attract those male teen Voyager fans to watch. But more J/Cers threatened to not watch if she didn't die brutally in a death match," Cerena said.

"What about the Kyol one?" Jessie asked.

"That wasn't in the script. Our motto is if it doesn't attract male teens and J/Cers, or whatever, then it doesn't go down," Cerena said.

"Hey, what about my film career stunt, doesn't that matter?" the Stone asked.

"It will if you pull it off better next time. You barely were even in the Mummy Returns, you were more mentioned than anything else," Cerena said.

Marill and Firera appeared, all the Voyager crewmembers rolled their eyes.

"Was she mocking the Mummy Returns?" Marill asked angrily.

"Er... no, she was mocking that Scooby Doo movie. You know that one with the title ending with 'A Mummy Two'," Firera said.

"The Rock wasn't even in it you idiot!" Marill snapped.

"I'm pretty sure a rock was in it somewhere," Firera said.

"Who are these people?" Cerena asked.

"You really don't want to know," Kiara said quietly as the pair argued.

"Shut up Firera, for god's sake. We're going over the episode ending point again," Marill said.

"But we did in an earlier scene, you weren't complaining then.... or maybe you were... er... watching the Mummy Returns at the time," Firera said ending in a stutter.

"This is getting tiring," Cerena said.

"Just leave them alone, they'll go eventually," Naomi said.

"Anyway, I'm pretty damn sick of Lena, and even more so since she killed my brother. So she's going up in a death match, with a partner of my choice," Cerena said.

"Typical," Lena muttered.

"Now to finally explain the point of a few of the scenes before the YWF bits. I'm putting Lena against James, and a partner of my choice," Cerena said.

"But don't we get to choose our own partners?" Lena asked, who was getting a little p****d off.

"No, I don't like you," Cerena replied.

"How does that explain those scenes anyway?" Lena asked angrily.

"Actually it explains the point of them," Cerena said.

"Look I didn't write them because of writers block you divvy!" Marill yelled.

"Then why did you, this is turning into a soap opera!" Firera yelled back.

"Because I have to please those Lena/James shippers you divvy!" Marill yelled.

"Stop calling me a divvy!" Firera yelled back.

"Oh great, they're having that fight again," Jessie muttered.

"What did she mean by that please those Lena/James shippers part?" James asked.

"Cerena when's that damn fight?" Lena said loudly.

"Now, I suppose," Cerena replied.

"Ok, I'll be going," Lena said and she rushed out. Jessie shook her head. She walked over to Marill and Firera.

"How dare you diss the Mummy Returns!" Marill yelled.

"I wasn't, I thought we were still arguing about those beginning scenes," Firera said.

"Don't try to back out," Marill said.

"Er... you've passed the 144kb mark," Jessie said.

"Oh crap, the episode size is only meant to be 125, give or take one or two," Firera said.

"Don't even start to blame that Disconnected and Curse of Voyager thing on me, it's a good thing they're close to 200kb," Marill said.

"Getting closer to 145," Jessie muttered.

"Ok, we'd better go and finish this episode off, I'm writing Why oh Why tomorrow with Charizard," Marill said.

"107kb, now that one was a loser," Firera sniggered.

"Are you mocking Games Resistance, cos if you were!" Marill yelled.

"145!" Jessie yelled which made Marill and Firera jump. "Listen, I'll make this quick. I have a way you can shorten the episode sizes a little," Jessie said.

"We're listening," Firera said. Marill wasn't, she was looking at the Stone.

"Wow, it's the Scorpion King from the Mummy Returns," she muttered.

"Ok, I am," Firera said.

"Stop it with the James/Lena shipping," Jessie said.

"That's not my department. That's Marill's since she runs the department called 'Sicken Vulpix Any Way We Can'," Firera said.

"So she was the one who wrote that scene in F9 Control Failure, where Tani sort of scored and James got scarred for life," Jessie said.

"No, Charizard did that, his department is the one called 'Beyond the Final Frontier', in other words, he does the scenes that really shouldn't happen," Firera said.

"So he wrote the whole of Fifth Voyager, wow," Bryan muttered. Marill walked over to the Stone.

"If you kick his brains out, we'll write you into the next movie that's like the Mummy Returns, except with more Scorpion King," Marill said.

"I'm in. Transforming to Kick Ass Mode," the Stone said. He got out the remote, he pressed the button, and he ripped off his clothes, but his wrestling trunks were left on. The show lost a few female viewers in the disappointment. The Stone threw off his sunglasses and he started beating up Bryan.

"Ok, we'd better go, we're at 148," Firera said. She and Marill disappeared.

"Thank god for that," Kiara muttered.

"Lena/James shipping?" James said questioningly. Everyone rolled their eyes again.

Voyager:
A load of people had crowded into Tom's quarters. A few people had popcorn.

"When does these damn adverts finish, they've been on for ten bloody minutes," Tom muttered. Suddenly there was a scramble. When everyone recovered they saw Emma drooling over the TV.

"Mummy Returns," she muttered as she watched the advert for the video.

"Er, this may explain why the adverts have been on so long," Harry said.

"It does?" Tom asked.

"For some reason, you're getting Sky One adverts from the 21st century," Harry said.

"Oh, I forgot, YWF is on Space. Space Sports One to be precise," Tom said. He fiddled with the remote to change the channel. Emma fumed with rage.

"The advert was finished in two seconds, you didn't let it finish!" she yelled.

"Uh oh," Tom muttered. The door chimed. "Wooh, saved by the bell. Come in!"

Kathryn and Chakotay walked in. Everyone stopped what they were doing, including a guest star who was picking his nose. They all stared in fear at Kathryn.

"Ensign, take your finger out of your nose," Chakotay said.

The guest star did as he was told. "Yes sir," he muttered. He looked at his finger, and he wiped it on a guy in front of him.

"Captain, what are you doing here?" Tom asked.

"We want to watch this YWF thing," Kathryn replied.

"But isn't anybody trying to save our awayteam?" B'Elanna asked.

"Tuvok's working on it," Chakotay replied.

Meanwhile, on another Delta Flyer:
"Why do I get lumbered into doing these things on my own," Tuvok muttered to himself as he worked at a console.

Tom's Quarters:
The YWF finally came back on.

"You see, I want to see what happens to our away team," Kathryn said.

"That's what everyone else said," Tom muttered as he started at the TV.

"To end the show we have the usual death match. Previously Lena killed Kyol, so Cerena is in charge and you get the idea. You just want to see blood, don't ya?" the commentator said.

Everyone cheered in Tom's ear, "YEEEESSSS!"

"Ow, do you mind," Tom moaned.

"You know the rules, the team that wins is the one that kills the other team. Any objects are allowed, including chain-saws," the commentator said.

"Chain-saws?" Emma said in her usual childish tone. Everyone felt nervous.

"Lets bring on the first team, Kiara and the Barbie Girl Lena!" the commentator yelled.

Everyone but the main cast cheered.

"Typical," B'Elanna muttered.

Kathryn tapped her commbadge. "Janeway to Tuvok, you'd better rescue them fast, Lena and Kiara are going into a death match!" she yelled.

In: "Aye Captain, things are going ok."

"How ok?" Chakotay asked.

In: "Well the shuttlebay doors are opening without the usual squeaking."

"Oh for god's sake!" Kathryn exclaimed, she tapped her commbadge hard. "Ow, I wish I would stop doing that," she muttered and she sat down slowly.

"Fighting against them is the Team Rocket duo, gotta love their new title...."

"Ohno, it can't be," Chakotay muttered.

"That's right, it's James and Jessie!" the commentator yelled.

Kathryn started headbutting the wall.

"Kathryn, don't do that," Chakotay moaned. Kathryn stopped, and Chakotay started headbutting the wall instead.

"What am I worried about, Lena will not get killed by those two," Kathryn said.

"What about Kiara, she's never had a fight in her life," Emma asked.

"Captain, just think, this is going to be the most boring death match ever. Jessie and James are wimps, they won't touch Lena or Kiara. Lena probably won't hurt them either, and Kiara well that's a different story," Tom said.

"You'd better be right," Kathryn said.

"Well if they do end up fighting, it'll take a while to get them started, thus giving Tuvok more time to rescue them," Tom said.

"Yes, that's a good point," Chakotay said.

Tom turned to the others.

"Yeah right. Who's bets are on Lena winning on her own?" Tom asked. Nearly everyone handed him some replicator rations.

The Arena:
"So this is the writers explanation to those scenes before we were captured," Lena said.

"Will someone please tell me, what scenes?" James asked.

"I'm not saying anything," Jessie muttered in response.

"Round One, Kiara versus Jessie. No one leaves or enters the ring until one of you is dead!" the commentator yelled.

"Sounds fun," Kiara stuttered. Lena and James slowly headed out of the ring.

"Wanna do bets?" Lena asked.

"What do you expect me to say? Your daughter and my girlfriend is fighting to the death," James replied.

"I said wanna do bets?" Lena asked more forcefully.

"Kiara, she'll lose," James replied.

"Ha, I bet that Voyager's going to beam us up just before a death," Lena said. Her smile quickly faded. "That means, Kiara won't kick the bucket. It's not fair," Lena muttered.

"Kiara right?" James asked.

"Right," Lena replied quietly.

"Some mother she is," Kiara muttered.

"Start the round!" the commentator yelled.

Kiara thought, "ok, I'm just going to forget about that stupid thing Lena told me. To hell with the readers, if the writers won't upload True Q it's there fault not mine. I'm going to use my Q powers whether anyone likes it or not."

Kiara clicked her fingers behind her back.

"Oh crap, what's she doing?" Lena said.

"I dunno, it's the first few seconds and it's already looking bad," James said.

Eventually the two girls started fighting. Kiara somehow managed to throw Jessie to the ground hard.

She thought, "which weapon can I choose?"

"She must of used her powers to make herself stronger," James said.

"Kiara, this is wrestling, this kind of cheating is crossing the line!" Lena yelled.

"Why do you care, you betted that I would die here, I'll show you," Kiara said in an angry voice.

More referees had to come out to stop Lena and James from going into the ring.

"Thinking, thinking. I need a weapon that's not painful," Kiara muttered to herself. She clicked her fingers to make a lightbulb appear at the top of her head. It disappeared and she clicked her fingers again. "Crap, being half Q has it's problems, I can't do a jar of drugs for some reason," she muttered. She clicked her fingers again, a hypospray appeared in her hand.

She slowly knelt down.

"Kiara!" Lena yelled angrily.

"Sorry, but at least it's not a knife or a chain-saw," Kiara muttered as she pushed the hypospray into Jessie's neck. In a few seconds she went out of consciousness. A referee came into the ring. He checked Jessie's pulse. He nodded at the commentator.

"Round one goes to Kiara!" he yelled.

Everyone was cheering, but Kiara wasn't celebrating.

"Good going, Kia. You could of just went down a little easier with Jessie, but now you've got to fight the result," Lena said. Kiara seemed puzzled as she looked at Lena.

"Round two, the winner versus James!" the commentator yelled as the referee took Jessie's lifeless body off the ring.

"Oh, now I get it," Kiara said quietly.

Meanwhile on Voyager:
"Now this I gotta see," Tom said. Kathryn punched Tom in the face.

"How dare you!" she screamed.

"Calm down, Kathryn. She has Q powers, they can protect her even against a Slayer...." Chakotay said.

"Powers are hereby banned from this round since it's too boring to use them, now let the round begin!" the commentator yelled.

"....who's generally p****d off because she killed his best friend, in a match where she's not allowed to use her powers. She's in trouble," Chakotay said. Kathryn punched him in the face instead.

As the audience on the TV started cheering, everyone in the room started cheering. Kathryn glared at them all, and she punched a few of them in the face. Everyone shut up.

Back in the Arena:
"No worries Lena, Voyager will beam us out any second now," Lena muttered to herself. Nothing happened. "Any second now," she said again. Nothing happened. "Why does this crap never work!" she shouted.

"Now then, you know you won't hurt me. You're a nice guy, who doesn't like to hurt anyone, especially girls," Kiara said quietly. James just stared angrily at her. "Right?" Kiara stuttered.

"That's usually the story, but you killed my best friend," James said. It was Kiara's time to stare, dumbfounded. "Right?"

"Right," Kiara stuttered.

Lena covered her eyes, and turned around.

"I can't watch this," she muttered.

Back on Voyager:
Everyone backed away from Kathryn as smoke started coming out of ears.

"Er... maybe we should watch this in another room," B'Elanna muttered.

"Another room? I want to be a few thousand lightyears away from her right now," Harry said quietly.

"Go where you want, cos I can't see for your head," Tom said.

"I'll just describe what's happening to you. Imagine that you've just called Jessie the biggest cow that's ever lived, which is fat, smelly, and worst of all the ugliest one that's ever lived," Harry said.

"I'm getting the picture, but Jessie's dead, I thought James was fighting now," Tom said.

"Tom, I'm just describing the actions here, just replace whoever's appropriate," Harry said.

"Uhoh, no wonder Janeway's going to blow," Tom muttered. Kathryn punched him in the face again.

Back in the Arena:
Lena gazed in shock as she saw the referee checking Kiara as she lay on top of a smashed table.

"I... can't... believe.... you... did... that...," Lena stuttered. She turned towards James who was looking more shocked than she was.

"Round Two goes to James! The winner now will go against Lena!" the commentator yelled.

Lena slowly went into the ring. James followed even slower than Lena did.

"Listen, that earlier match is going to make this a lot easier for me, but it's still not going to be easy," Lena said.

"That's what I thought when I saw Kiara winning earlier," James muttered.

"Whatever, I'm just generally p*****d off now. Kiara is mine to beat up, not yours," Lena said.

"Er... that's not what I was expecting," James said.

"No, didn't think so," Lena said.

The audience started yelling loudly, "fight, fight, fight!"

Lena just rolled her eyes in response. "I know you beat up Kiara because you were angry, but I don't care. No one uses my punch bag."

"Lena, she's your daughter," James said.

"Exactly, and she nearly ruined my life," Lena said.

"Fight, fight, fight!" the audience chanted.

Meanwhile on Voyager:
"Fight, fight, fight!" some people chanted. Kathryn punched them all in the face.

"Come on Lena, enough chat. Squash that bug," Tom said. Kathryn punched him in the face again. "But I was cheering Lena on," he moaned.

"I don't care," Kathryn muttered.

Back in the Arena:
"Do you mind!" Lena yelled at the audience. Most of them shut up. "Ok, I'm going to prove my dad wrong. I'm going to fight."

"Er... what did your dad say?" James asked.

Lena stared at him, and shook her head. "No way, I'm not telling you," she replied. The bell thing went off.

Back on Voyager:
"Where did Chakotay go?" Kathryn asked as she looked around the room.

"He looked rather pale, so I let him use the bathroom," Tom replied.

In: "Tuvok to Janeway, the Flyer is in position."

"Excellent, keep me informed," Kathryn said. Chakotay walked back in, still looking pale. He sat down next to Kathryn. "What's wrong with you?" she asked.

"I'm not telling, I don't want anymore punchups," Chakotay replied.

On the Flyer:
Tuvok was still working on the console. The lights had dimmed, and the red alert siren was on.

"There, that should distract them for a while," Tuvok said to himself. He pressed a few commands on the console. "Tuvok to Janeway, it's working. I'll be able to transport through the shields in a few seconds."

In: "How?"

"Easy Captain, I brought together all the TV programs that attracted sleasy male teens, like Baywatch and Star Trek Voyager. I used the antenna on the flyer to send them over to the YWF's channel," Tuvok said.

In: "What good will that do?"

"It was the only idea I could think of that would get the viewers and the YWF's producers to be distracted," Tuvok replied.

Meanwhile, in the Main Room:
Most of the male wrestlers were drooling over the TV as they watched Baywatch. Cerena just stood there pouting.

"Our show's better than that," she muttered.

A man ran into the room. "Cerena, I don't know where that other signal is coming from, but we can stop it," he said.

"How?" Cerena asked.

"We'll have to shut down the shields so a few crewman can go out and disable it manually," the man said.

"With all these thingymajigs around we still can't fix a bloody aerial properly," Cerena said angrily.

"I'll go and shut down the shields," the man said and he ran off.

"Damn, I hope Voyager's around," Naomi muttered.

"It most likely will be. Do you know any other species that would make a show like Baywatch?" Bryan asked.

"Good point," Naomi muttered.

Voyager:
In: "They're shutting their shields down."

"Oh, but they haven't started yet," Tom moaned.

"Face it Tom, they probably weren't going to fight anyway, besides if they did we wouldn't be able to watch it," Harry said as he pointed at the screen. All the male guest stars were drooling over it. All the main characters rolled their eyes.

Back in the Arena:
Cerena rushed onto the walkway but it was too late. The four Voyager crewmembers had been beamed out.

"Damn, why does this always happen!" she screeched.

The same man ran in. "Cerena, a Borg ship is responding to our lure signal," he said.

"It better be a collective ship this time, those Resistance people are rather nasty," Cerena said.

The Delta Flyer flew away from the alien ship as a Borg ship loomed over it. It fired two torpedo's and the alien ship blew up.

The Flyer:
"Hey, what are these three doing here?" Lena asked. Steve, Ashley and the Stone were standing next to her looking rather confused.

"I beamed up everyone who had human DNA in them because the transporters couldn't get precise readings," Tuvok replied.

"I knew Ashley and Steve were human, but what the hell is the Stone doing here?" Naomi asked.

"Hey, when I'm in my Normal Human Mode, my name is Mick," the Stone said and he folded his arms.

"He's half human, half cyborg," Steve said.

"Yeah, that remote changes his normal human side to and from his kick butt cyborg side," Ashley said.

"That's Kick Ass Mode," Mick said.

"Whatever," Ashley said.

"Shouldn't that be bleeped out?" Naomi asked.

The shuttle shook. "That Borg ship is attacking us, but I've got a plan," Tuvok said.

"Does it involve losing another Delta Flyer?" Lena asked.

"Yes," Tuvok replied.

"Then we're thinking the same plan up," Lena said.

"No you're not, you're just telepathic," James said.

"You know, I still have time to punch you," Lena muttered.

"Tuvok to Janeway, how long until we're in transporter range?" Tuvok asked.

In: "Two minutes."

In: "How do you know, you're not on the Bridge?"

In: "I guessed."

"Tuvok to Transporter Room Two, are we in transporter range?"

In: "Er, does that red flashy light mean you are?"

Everyone thought, "oh great, who left Faye in charge of transporters?"

"Yes it does. Beam us out of the Flyer at my signal," Tuvok said.

In: "Okeydokey."

Voyager:
Kathryn and co rushed onto the Bridge and they took their stations.

"What's going on now?" Kathryn asked.

"We're about to lose another Delta Flyer," Tom replied.

"Good, Chakotay you know what to do," Kathryn said.

Chakotay put his finger on the reset button and he waited.

"The Flyer has been captured," Harry said.

On the viewscreen the Borg ship blew up.

"Janeway to the transporter room, have you got them?" Kathryn asked.

In: "Yep, and aw cool! We've got the Rock here too."

"Oh no, the writers have given us wrestlers as regulars. What's next?" Tom moaned.

"Ooh, maybe we'll have blonde bimbo girls in catsuits," Harry said.

"Ohno Harry, we've tried that before," Kathryn moaned. Harry sulked.

The next day, the Mess Hall:
As usual the room was very busy, nearly all the tables were used up.

"You know, I still didn't get to prove to my dad he was wrong," Lena said.

"Don't worry Lena, you still can, that's if he is wrong. You did take an awful long time to attack him," Jessie said.

"That's because I was waiting for him to make the first move, that's all!" Lena yelled.

"Can someone tell me, what did her dad say?" James asked. Lena and Jessie exchanged nervous looks.

"Nothing," they both said.

Kiara came over to the table.

"Hi, I just came over to apologise for what I did in the YWF. Lets face it, if I didn't beat you, you would of beat me," Kiara said.

"Yep, I suppose so. I'm not really mad at you actually," Jessie said.

"Cool, now I'm going to wait for my apology," Kiara said, and she looked towards James. He looked up at her innocently.

"What?" he muttered.

"Aren't you going to apologise for throwing me into that table?" Kiara snapped.

"I've never apologised to Tom after I beat him up after he just insulted Jess and me. Do you really I'm going to apologise to a girl who beat Jess in a death match by cheating?" James asked.

"You have made a powerful enemy today," Kiara growled and she stormed out.

"Why didn't you apologise?" Jessie asked.

"Oh come Jess, he was right. I wouldn't apologise either if it were me that beat Kiara up instead of James," Lena replied.

"She apologised to me though," Jessie said.

"She cheated, Jess, don't you care?" James asked.

"Of course I care, but it's over now," Jessie replied.

"Ohno, I've just remembered!" Lena blurted out.

"What now?" Jessie asked.

"We haven't shown the others the My oh My video," Lena replied.

"But didn't you say they could only see it if they got the single?" James asked.

"Yeah, but I want to show it anyway," Lena replied.

The Bridge:
All of the main cast were there watching the video on the viewscreen.

Jessie got captured by two pirates, and they took her to their boat. The pirates were none other than Lena and Craig. After lots of torture she got free and she got into a sword fight with them and their Captain, who was actually James. Somehow she won, and the four continued looking for treasure.

"This is sad," Tani muttered.

"Hey, I like it," Lilly said.

The four got onto the island and they dug up the treasure. Then James' long lost 'father' appeared with his 'brother' and 'sister'. They were all played by holograms.

The video ended with James' dad trying to chat up Jessie. She gets disgusted and leaves him alone. Lena and Craig are sitting with James' brother and sister by the fire. Jessie sits next to James, who's on his own. The screen fades out with the pair just about to kiss.

Lena stopped the video. "Well, what did you think?" she asked.

"Ew, were those two going to kiss?" Kiara asked.

"Yeah, the characters were," Jessie replied.

"The characters would of, but we wouldn't do it," James said.

Everyone looked at the person next to them, and they sniggered.

"Yeah right," was heard. "They probably did, but they cut it off so we wouldn't get suspicious," was also heard.

"That's it, we're outta here," Jessie said and she dragged James out of the Bridge with her.

Lena grinned. "I did it," she muttered. She walked over to Chakotay. "See, if I fancied him, I'd be jealous right now," she said. Chakotay rolled his eyes.

"Lena, give it up," he muttered. Lena sulked, and she stormed out of the Bridge, dragging Craig with her.

Meanwhile, at Marill's house:
"Aaaggh! 202kb!! We've went higher than Curse of Voyager and Disconnected!" Marill stuttered.

"It's all your fault, you yapped on about nothing for most of it!" Firera yelled.

"I did not!" Marill yelled back.

"Did to!" Firera yelled.

"Did not!" Marill yelled.

Will more episodes turn out longer than Disconnected? Will Marill and co ever keep to their average episode sizes? Will we stop getting more regular guest stars? Was Chakotay right about Lena, if so will Lena ever believe him? When the hell will True Q get uploaded, and how many people are getting confused about Lena and Kiara because of it?
Find out the answers to maybe some of these questions next time on Fifth Voyager.

 

****THE END****

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