Previous Part <<  >> Next Episode

Written
11th December 2003 & 22nd January 2004

Episode Based In
January 2380

A little while later, Conference Room 2:
Paris paced backwards and forwards nearby the window. The ensign walked in with Kathryn, Chakotay, Kiara, Lena and Yasmin not far behind him.

The ensign looked very amazed as he looked around the room, "well what do you know, this Conference Room has disco lights fitted. That's the difference."

Paris looked up at the ceiling, "they're just normal lights."

"Oh I see, they're x-ray lights," the ensign whispered. "Don't worry sir, your secret's safe with me." He walked out of the room.

"Somebody must remind me to fire that guy," Paris muttered.

"That would be an idea, he was your 'receptionist' when Voyager was still in Dry Dock," Kathryn said.

Paris smiled as he walked up to her, "Kathy let's do this right, how are you?"

"Same old," Kathryn replied. She turned to the others, "you know Chakotay already, but these two are my daughters Lena and Yasmin, and this is my um granddaughter Kiara."

Yasmin raised her hand half way into the air, "and this is my hand, eya."

Lena raised her eyebrow, "this is why we don't bring her to meetings."

Paris nodded his head, "I see."

"You're probably wondering what this is about," Chakotay muttered.

"You're right there, what's the emergency?" Paris asked.

"We think Kiara's swapped dimensions, we found her on the Enterprise," Lena replied.

"I don't understand," Paris said.

Kiara sighed, "we're not really sure what happened. I was on the Enterprise where I usually live now, I collapsed and I woke up in Sickbay. From then on everything's been really weird and confusing."

"Meaning that she doesn't remember Voyager and the Enterprise getting home, and everything else after that," Kathryn said.

"Hmm I think we need to compare stories, maybe we could then find out where the dimensions split. If we do that we maybe able to get her back," Paris said.

"Yeah great idea if you have a dimension door opener, which of course only works when you tell it the differences between the dimensions," Yasmin commented.

Lena elbowed her gently in the ribs, "what did I tell you about making fun of bosses who aren't mum."

Kathryn pouted, "I resent that."

"Ok before the Seventh Dimension battle, what happened?" Paris asked.

"Well majorly, Jessie's funeral. Minorly, an unknown crewmember's funeral," Lena replied.

"Aaaw," everyone moaned in a sympathetic way, excluding Yasmin.

"What? I don't remember that," Yasmin moaned.

"I remember those two things happening, heck I was at Jessie's funeral and I was around when that lass got hit by a falling bulkhead," Kiara said.

"Nice," Yasmin grinned.

Lena shook her head, "we headed for New Earth and then we got attacked. I can't remember anything else that may help."

"Did you get there?" Kiara asked.

"Nope," Lena replied.

"That's good, that means that James didn't go psycho in this dimension," Kiara said.

Everyone looked nervous. "Uh he did, that's weird." Chakotay muttered.

"No it's not, he was already turning evil, obviously something different triggered it in her dimension," Lena said.

"Um it was you," Kiara said as she looked in Kathryn's direction.

Kathryn looked at her bewildered, "what, me? How could I have done anything?"

"He found out your um secret and he got annoyed at you, to put it mildly," Kiara replied quietly.

Lena rolled her eyes, "I take it Peter blabbed it to him despite the changes."

"What triggered it here?" Kiara asked.

"I did. I made some speech about him taking the whole thing so personally, he slowly got mad enough to attack me," Lena replied sheepishly.

"Oh I was told that he took it personally with you instead," Kiara said directed Kathryn's way.

"I like your dimension already, Lena didn't get hurt that time round, right?" Kathryn questioned.

"Not by much no, she talked him out of it. Well she did one of her legendary speeches," Kiara replied. Lena stared at her with an annoyed expression.

"Wow that's ironic since we haven't got him out of that state, and Lena's speeches got him into it," Chakotay commented.

Kiara's eyes widened, "he's still evil? What about the kids?"

"Correction, kid. Phoebe takes care of him most of the time," Chakotay replied.

"Oh," Kiara muttered.

Lena looked uncomfortable, "Unu nicked off, god knows what she's done. Luckily since she's thousands of years old she doesn't know what abortion is."

"So James kills for a living now I take it, nice," Kiara muttered.

"Yes it's a problem, since he's powerful it's extremely hard to catch him alive," Paris said.

"Not that it matters, the last time he was captured he went through the forcefield and killed all the Security guys," Lena commented.

"We're missing the point here right. We still don't know what split the dimensions up," Chakotay said.

"I do. The battle with the Seventh Dimension was the incident that did it. Damien obviously had a choice, and we know that dimensions are formed when decisions have to be made," Kathryn said.

"You'd think so but the series started like an alternate Voyager because a decision was made different to the original, you know because of Kiara," Chakotay muttered.

Lena stared blankly at him, "um dad, that idea hasn't basically changed has it? Remember the whole Q going back in time with Kiara and that changed the timeline or you can call it another dimension. If you think about it, it makes sense still."

Yasmin sat down slowly, "ow my head hurts."

"Look we can figure out which dimension it is now with this information," Paris said.

"You're forgetting my earlier sarcastic remark, we need something to open up a dimension," Yasmin said.

"That's easy, the Lillyia Fleet will help us with that, after all when we first met them they came through a portal. Not in front of our eyes, but you know what I mean," Kathryn said.

"Guys, don't you think that this is a dumb idea. We should try and figure out how I got here in the first place and go back that way. I mean what if the Lillyia opens up the wrong portal, there are obviously millions or billions of different dimensions," Kiara questioned. Everyone else glanced at each other nervously.

"Kathryn I think we need to go back to the Enterprise and visit an old friend," Chakotay commented.

Meanwhile in Reality One, Enterprise Bridge:
Everybody were at their usual positions, Kes was sitting in the spare chair next to Lena.

"We're in visual range," Triah said.

"On screen," Lena commanded.

The viewscreen quickly showed the Pegasus C flying towards them.

"They're hailing," Triah said.

Lena stood up, "let's get this over with."

The Pegasus C's bridge appeared on the viewscreen. "Enterprise, are you guys following us?" Damien asked.

Everyone averted their eyes away the viewscreen to avoid the ugliness of Damien's host. Lena however decided to be brave and look at him as she spoke, "I really should ask you the same question. What are you doing here?"

Damien glanced at Riker and the Twerps, including the two new Twerps members. "Would you believe Game Cube?" Damien said sheepishly.

"Not when you're the third Starfleet ship in another galaxy to claim that," Tom commented.

Damien smiled, "yeah I noticed that excuse for a ship, you know I was really tempted to get my hands on the second Leda ship. Imagine the carnage."

Kes and Jessie both cringed, Tom just stared blankly while turning slightly pale. "Oh god, they made another Leda!?" he exclaimed in disbelief.

Lena's eyes shifted nervously, "um Leda is what exactly?"

"A Lemming ship as Tom put it, everyone died cos a construction worker died there and her ghost wanted revenge. Oh and lots of other ship's crews were slaughtered too. Ask James for one of the crew's grisly death details if you haven't got a death, blood, lots of bodies in pieces phobia," Jessie replied.

Lena stared blankly, "uh huh, forget it."

"Now you see why I'm tempted, at least then I could get rid of this damn host. The writers will use any excuse to hurt and kill this host, I should know, I was the cause of them several years ago," Damien said.

"Well this is all very nice but don't we have something to do?" Kes commented.

Riker's eyes widened just when he spotted her, "woah that blonde is hot."

Kes just groaned, "great, just what I need."

"It's ok, he's really gay. He tried to hit on me the other day, or was that a dream?" Damien said.

"Dream," everyone on both bridges, excluding Riker, muttered in unison.

"Dream yes, that's right," Riker said, looking rather nervous.

Damien stared at him while turning an interesting shade of green, "that is very disturbing."

"What? I thought you were a woman, it was three am," Riker stuttered.

"And calling Justin Timberlake a woman a guy would hit on is an insult to woman kind," Triah commented.

"Um it's Riker, he'd hit on a chicken if there was one around," Damien said.

Riker's eyes widened again, "mmm chicken." He rushed off the bridge.

"I just got a disturbing image there," Tom muttered.

"Fortunately he's probably just going to eat one, we only have dead chickens," Damien said, shaking his head.

"The image is getting worse," Tom stuttered.

Lena started to go a bit red in the cheeks, "for crying out loud, we are not here to talk about Riker and the possibility that he hits on chickens!"

"I hit on chicks, not chickens. Let's just clear that up," Brock pointed out from behind Damien.

Tom fell off his chair, and collapsed onto the ground. Lena looked over at him, "he and Danny should have been best friends, really."

Kes stood up, stepping on Tom accidentally in the process. "Right here's the deal, you are here and there's a threat involving time travel, could that be you?"

Damien looked confused, "what are you talking about, and what are you doing back on the ship? I knew I was forgetting someone in the brainwashing process."

"I'm afraid you can't brainwash me, thankfully," Kes muttered.

Lena folded her arms, "look someone is going to use time travel to kill James and I. It's not you?"

Damien's eyes lit up, "no it's not, but I am tempted to give whoever it is a hand. James has to die permanently for once."

Tom chose that moment to climb back to his feet, "seems to me that you like Lena though."

"No, she's just like the orange haired bitch behind me," Damien laughed. Misty pouted, and stormed out of the bridge. Everyone else sighed in relief.

Lena narrowed her eyes, "ok Jess, fire all weapons."

Damien quickly turned very scared, "no wait, nobody is as bad as Misty. I was kidding."

"What about May?" the Twerp brat called Max asked.

"Huh, what's in May?" the girl said, obviously very confused.

"That's your name remember, god," Max groaned.

Damien rolled his eyes, "ok maybe you should destroy this ship, I'd get another host, lose these twits and possibly get the Leda. Though a lemming ship may not replicate yogurt very well, can't have that."

Riker walked back into the room with barbecue chicken sauce all over his face, and a wing in his hand. "What about me sir?"

Damien laughed, "oh you do crack me up sometimes."

"Wait, how did he hear what was just said?" Bryan asked. Everyone on the Enterprise bridge shrugged.

"Ok just wondering something, what are you up to?" Tom asked.

"Well we er... I have no idea yet. You can't rush genius," Damien stuttered.

"Obviously you can't rush an idiot either," Jessie commented.

"Gee, no need to get personal," Damien muttered.

"Well why not, you were involved in the whole Unu murdering me thing," Jessie said.

Damien nodded his head in agreement, "true true, how is that working for you?"

"Get him off screen before my eyes melt," Lena groaned.

"He is telling the truth though, he was very confused when I mentioned the time travel thing," Kes said.

"Yeah but knowing him he'll think up a new prank," Lena said.

Reality Two, Enterprise's Conference Room:
Kathryn, Chakotay, Lena, Kiara, Yasmin, Gretchen, Phoebe and only an odd few of the original Enterprise cast had all sat down around the conference table.

"This is interesting. We did detect strange readings when Kiara was found," Geordie said.

"Did you find out what it was?" Kathryn asked.

"No we're still looking into it," Geordie replied.

"We need to go back to the exact co-ordinates you were when you found her," Chakotay said.

"That shouldn't be that difficult to do, what do you expect to find there?" Picard asked.

"Well our other plan was to open up a dimensional rift using the information Kiara gave us, but there's too much chance of error," Chakotay replied.

"Yeah she could end up in the wrong dimension, the chances are billions to one that she'd end up in the exact dimension she came from," Lena said.

Picard nodded his head as he tapped his commbadge, "Picard to Bridge, set a course for the co-ordinates I'm sending to you now." He keyed in some commands on the little panel on the table.

In: "Aye aye baldy, er... Captain."

"You're fired Ensign," Picard muttered.

"Jean Luc," Beverly said in a warning voice.

In: "Crap not again, no presents for my little brats this Christmas."

"Hasn't Christmas been and gone?" Kathryn questioned. Everyone nodded their heads.

Kiara rolled her eyes, "that's weird I just figured our crew were the only mad ones."

Picard, Beverly and Geordie all stood up. "We'll be on our bridge, we'll keep you informed," Picard said. They then walked out of the room.

"Ok family meeting," Gretchen announced.

Everyone but Kiara groaned in response. The lights dimmed, the red alert alarm went off. "Intruder Alert."

"Phew, saved by the bell," Phoebe commented.

"What's wrong with these family meetings?" Kiara asked.

The second lot of doors opened up, James stepped through them with a complete black look. Everyone remaining looked over, excluding Gretchen and Kiara, looking rather worried.

Kiara groaned, "damn, getting home was a big mistake for fashion."

Lena raised her eyebrow, "Kiara you really should stop hanging around with Naomi if you are anyway, you're starting to sound like her."

"Besides a full black outfit is back, I think it's his fault that happened," Yasmin commented.

"Um hello? Evil and going to kill you here, yeesh get with the program," James muttered.

"Oh we're sorry," Kiara muttered sarcastically.

Lena pulled herself to her feet, "ok people, get out of here."

In: "Picard to Conference, we've detected an intruder..."

"Well duh, do you think we wouldn't spot him?" Yasmin muttered.

In: "Well who is it?"

James rolled his eyes while looking rather frustrated, he pushed the table to the clear side of the room.

Kathryn laughed inappropriately, "he always was a little attention seeker."

Chakotay groaned, "damn woman, you really should switch to decaf."

In: "What just happened, I heard a crash?"

"I pushed your table into the wall, I think it looks better there," James replied a little too politely.

In: "What, hey hey that was attached to the ground!"

"No kidding Sherlock," Lena muttered. She turned to the side panel on the wall, keyed in a few commands, Yasmin, Gretchen and Phoebe dematerialised as a result.

"Crap missed some out," Chakotay grumbled as he glanced at Kathryn and Kiara.

James groaned, "bored here."

"Oooh ooh, we haven't tried sedatives yet!" Kathryn yelled out.

"Great, drug your evil brat," Chakotay muttered.

"Sedatives really, that I'd like to see," Kiara commented.

"Yeah I'd like to see you try it too. Wait I got a better idea, why don't you just put coffee into hyposprays, inject them into your arm, and dance around like a prat an hour earlier than usual," James said.

Kathryn gasped, "but that would mean I'd never taste it again, how dare you."

Lena ignored her coffee obsessed mother and stepped in front of James, "you know what, usually Evil Slayers kill people violently, not verbally."

"Why not do both?" James said.

"Gee that does sound appealing but..." she punched him in the face, "I prefer it this way."

James just shrugged it off, he hit her with his left hand. She crashed into the wall.

Kiara stared at her in shock, "Lena! How come he's stronger than you?"

Lena glared at her, "well I'm sorry that I haven't been evil and killing people for over a year!"

Kathryn took a hold of Kiara's arm, "come on, we'd better leave."

Kiara pulled her arm out of her grip, "Lena, you can do better than that, come on."

"The brat's right you know," James said. Lena walked back over to face him. She swung her fist at him but he blocked it this time, she ducked a blow from him and kicked him into the table. He only laughed, "that's a little better sis."

"I am not your sis," Lena almost growled, she lunged for him and a full on battle began.

Kathryn watched looking helpless, she cringed at every blow that was made, "why must you two fight all the time, you could get hurt."

Chakotay sighed, "I think you're missing the point Kathryn."

James now had Lena backed into the wall, his hand tightly around her neck.

"Oh I can't watch this, somebody throw something," Kathryn stuttered.

Kiara lost her temper, "stop this! This isn't supposed to happen!"

James glanced over his shoulder, "do you mind, I'm trying to kill your mum here."

Lena took the opportunity to knee him in a sensitive area, once he'd backed away from her Lena punched him, and literally threw herself at him. The force of them crashing onto the ground could be felt on at least three decks below them. Kathryn finally fainted, everyone tried to ignore her.

Lena pulled out a knife, she held it at his neck. Kiara's eyes widened, "what are you doing! Isn't this time for a speech or something? You know, the cure."

"Cure, there is no cure. It's either get killed or kill him," Lena said.

"Good when is this happening, cos I really don't like speeches," James muttered.

Lena slapped him with her other hand, "shut up, yours wouldn't be any better."

Despite his position James smiled cheekily, "nah, I have a knack for them."

Lena tried to keep a straight face, "oh really? How do you know, do you practice in front of a mirror?"

"This is a new approach to the cure for evil, but you don't see me complaining," Kiara commented.

Lena sighed, "there is no cure."

"You know I could have pushed you away earlier," James muttered.

"Then why haven't you?" Lena questioned in a taunting voice.

"Because I want to see how long it takes for you to be merciful this time," James replied.

Kiara groaned, "you know I do prefer my reality. There's no evil people, unless you count Zare's attempt at it. Oh and a certain witch is alive and kicking too."

"Kiara, whatever you're on, give me some," James commented.

Lena slapped him again, "look mister, she's from another dimension. Her crew didn't get home, and you are supposedly not evil right now."

"Yeah because a few people performed a ritual," Kiara said.

Lena glanced at her, "um what kind of ritual?"

"Some dark version of the Lea Halalela, granddad knows about it," Kiara replied.

Chakotay looked worried, "there's a reason why it's called the dark version."

"Yeah but we have an evil person like last time, the ritual prefers evil people doing it," Kiara said.

"What does it do?" Lena asked.

James looked bored, "who cares, rituals are always boring anyway."

Chakotay stepped closer to Lena and James, "this one you might not find as boring, it brings people back from the dead. Even ones that have been decomposing for years can be revived."

James pushed Lena off him like she was just a little kid, she didn't look happy afterwards. "Ok that outta do it," she muttered. He got up and headed out of the room, no one tried to stop him.

"Uh, shouldn't we warn the bridge crew?" Kathryn stuttered.

Everyone else looked in her direction. "Welcome back Kathryn," Chakotay muttered.

Lena pulled herself up, "just leave him. If I know him as well I think I do, we won't be seeing for a few decades."

Kiara raised her eyebrow, "you don't think he'd..." Lena glanced at her. "Yeah he would."

"A few decades? Oh my god, I'll be a really old woman then," Kathryn said.

"Well he has to get back too, so you'll be long dead. As a matter of a fact he'll have died along the way," Chakotay carefully said. Kathryn glared at him, she hit him across the back of the head.

Reality One, same place, well same room anyway:
Some of the Enterprise main cast and Kes had gathered around the table for a meeting.

"Damien isn't responsible, he didn't seem to be lying," Kes said.

"Yeah well we can't be too sure," Tom commented.

"So what do we do then?" Lena questioned.

Jessie shrugged, "blow up the ship?"

"Um, maybe that'll be Plan B," Tom said carefully.

"I say just board the damn thing, see what kind of junk he has onboard. Anything suspicious we can destroy it," James said.

"I say blowing up the ship's quicker," Jessie muttered.

"We'll vote for it," Lena said. Everyone stared at her. "I can't be bothered today ok."

Tom shook his head, "who's up for blowing up the ship?" Everyone put up their hands. "This is a waste but who vote's we board the ship?" Everyone kept their hands in their air.

"Oh screw this, let's just board the ship," Lena groaned.

Reality Two, Admiral Paris' Office:
"Come in," Paris called.

Kathryn, Lena and Kiara walked into the room, they sat down in front of the Admiral's desk.

"I have read your proposal, and the answer's no," Paris said.

"Then what was the point in coming all the way here for? We're in the 24th century bub, use a communicator," Kiara grumbled.

Kathryn looked nervous, "look Admiral I know the plan sounds dangerous but this could work. How many people have been killed by him?"

"From what I understand Kathryn, your son has already left to do this plan on his own. This way we won't see him again," Paris replied.

"This plan will cure him though, it's a small price to pay," Lena snapped.

Paris sighed, "I'm sorry but he's going anyway. Why risk another ship to capture him and keep restrained until the ritual can be performed, when he's off to do it himself."

"We don't know for sure what he's doing, god," Kiara groaned.

"She's right, even if he said he was going to do that, how could we trust what he says?" Kathryn said.

"It's not only that. This will cost lives, and it is breaking a lot of rules," Paris said.

"Not exactly, do it our way and we'll be better off," Kiara said.

"And why is that?" Paris questioned.

"Because in my reality James, Craig, Yasmin, Tom and the other Sasha did the ritual, and the only one who was killed was Unu, who should have died a long time ago anyway," Kiara replied. "If we just let him do it his own evil way, he'll kidnap people who don't want to do it and by hell, he won't care if they die so they probably will."

"Even if we did, how would we be able to find this Unu. She is needed for the ritual," Paris said.

Kathryn, Lena and Kiara glanced at each other looking more nervous. "Oh crap, that I forgot," Kiara muttered.

"See, I'm sorry but request is denied," Paris said.

"But Admiral..." Kathryn stuttered.

"No buts Kathryn. If any of you try this, you could be demoted and Lena could be kicked out of the Academy. Is that what you want?" Paris said sternly.

Kathryn stood up, "no, what I want is my son back. If that costs me my career, then so be it."

Lena shrugged, "uh ditto."

The lights started flashing red, an annoying siren started going off. Paris stood up quickly, "excuse me ladies." He walked out of the room. Kathryn, Lena and Kiara followed him in to the command area of the station.

"What's going on?" Kathryn asked.

"Somebody has stolen a runabout," an unknown crewmember replied.

"Well if you call them that what do you expect them to do," Kiara muttered.

Paris walked over to the crewmember, "who is it?"

Another crewmember turned to face him, "sir you're getting a collect call."

Paris frowned, "Tom, why can't he ever pay for the call himself."

"I'll put him through," crewmember two said.

In: "Hi dad um, you'll never guess what happened."

"Somebody else stole a runabout from you, I know," Paris grumbled.

In: "Yeah but the thing is I'm alive to tell the tale, well try to anyway."

Lena folded her arms, "let me guess, it was James."

In: "Uh, noo... oh crap how does she know?"

"What should we do about the runabout sir?" crewmember two asked.

"Go after it," Kathryn ordered.

Everyone fell down Pokémon style, Kathryn failed to notice. "We're on a space station Kathryn," Paris muttered.

"That didn't stop DS9 did it, fly damn it!" Kathryn exclaimed.

Crewmembers one and two looked nervously at each other. "Ok ma'am," one stuttered. He pressed a red button. "Oh sorry, that's the window wipers," he muttered, he pressed a pink button instead.

"God if I didn't know any better, I'd say you're all stoned," Kiara commented.

The station started shaking madly. "We're going to die, aren't we?" two muttered.

"Yes, hold me," one stuttered.

"Only if you hold me," two said. One and two hugged each other.

Paris frowned, "no gayness on my space station!"

"We're in hailing range of the shuttle," Lena said. She shrugged her shoulders, "I really don't get how but we are."

"It's a top of the range station," Paris said.

"Hail the runabout," Kathryn ordered.

Paris rolled his eyes, "I was pretty sure that I was in charge here."

"Commlink open," two said.

Kathryn cleared her throat, "ok James you'd better explain yourself and then get your ass back here."

James, Unu (Jessie lookalike remember), Yasmin and two unknown crewmembers, both hugging by the way, appeared on the viewscreen. Yasmin was busy tying up Unu.

"I always knew Janeway was a witch, how else would a space station move so fast," James said.

"You bitch, get the hell off of me," Unu moaned.

Yasmin giggled, "you're going to die again." She gagged her.

"Enough with this, get your butt onto this station right now," Kathryn snapped.

"Um I've got a Game Cube to catch," James said. He moved his chair closer to the screen, "and I kinda need my ass to sit on chairs and stuff."

"How did you find Unu, we've been looking for her for years?" Lena asked.

In: "Aah, he's been keeping her with him all this time, you know like a toy."

Kathryn pulled a disgusted face, Lena, Kiara, Yasmin, Unu and even James did too.

"Don't Tom please, I just ate," Lena muttered.

Paris rolled his eyes, "do you realise this is now a collect long distance call Tom? Hang up!"

In: "Sorry."

Kiara stared blankly at the viewscreen, "this can't be right." Everyone glanced in her direction.

Reality One, the Pegasus C:
Damien was busy showing a new crewmember around, "and this is the cloning machine."

The girl looked at the machine in disgust, "hey do I introduce you to your mother? I think not."

Damien looked uneasy, "yes well, I don't want to meet my host's mother. She's probably gone crazy."

"So, why did you clone me anyway? There are better people to clone," the girl asked.

"Well I have most of the crew already at my disposal, yours was harder to find. Not as hard as Kes though," Damien replied.

The girl rolled her eyes, "fine."

In: "Riker to... cool my voice echoes everywhere, um Damien."

Damien groaned, "what!?"

In: "We have intruders, oh god I hope it isn't the Teletubbies with machine guns again."

Damien and the girl glanced at each other, they looked rather disturbed. "Um Riker, wasn't that just one of those dreams you never tell me about," Damien muttered.

In: "Uh yes sir."

"I'm on my way to the bridge, you go back to the Enterprise," Damien said.

In: "All right, I get to play with the joy stick again!"

"Not you, you imbecile!" Damien yelled.

In: "Oh." All that was heard was crying.

Meanwhile:
Craig, Naomi and an unknown crewmember were now inside what looked like Damien's quarters, oh come on who else would have rabbit wall paper?

"Can we go, this is freaking me out," Naomi moaned.

Craig shook his head, he walked into a rabbit statue. He had to bite his lip to stop himself screaming, "uh yes please."

Naomi eyed his now broken foot, probably, "great, now I get to tell everyone that a rabbit beat you up."

Craig hopped towards the door, "you will do no such thing." He disappeared out of the room, whimpering. Naomi and the unknown crewmember followed.

Meanwhile again:
Zare and James were arguing over something, the unknown crewmember just trembled in fear cos he knew what was going to happen.

"No I am still upset over my brother, so..." Zare moaned. She pulled the crewmember over to stand in front of her.

James pulled him over to him, "you tried to kill my sister and mess up the timeline, so I get the human shield."

"No me!" Zare screamed, she pulled the crewmember in front of her.

"Ooh good argument," James muttered sarcastically, he pulled the crewmember in front of him.

"I am a newer character!" Zare yelled, you get the idea by now.

"Yeah and they have a bigger chance of getting killed off!" James yelled back.

"No they don't!" Zare yelled. She looked nervous, "why's that?"

"Well I've been here since Season One, has anybody from that season been killed off? No!" James replied.

"Technically Lilly did so..." Zare said, she stuck her tongue out at him.

"That doesn't count!" James moaned.

"It so does, and technically you've been around since the prequel days and well two of those cast have been killed off," Zare said.

The unknown crewmember turned green, "stop it, I feel sick."

Zare and James looked at him looking disgusted. James turned back to Zare, "you can have him, I come back from the dead a lot."

"Oh no, you're not letting go of him that easily," Zare grumbled.

While the insanity continues offscreen, we go back to the Pegasus bridge:
"Report," Damien ordered as he stepped off the turbolift.

"Six crewmembers from the Enterprise are onboard, two are unknown," Riker replied.

"Good," Damien said with an evil look on his face. "We'll kidnap them and clone them to be my new army of the damned."

"Don't they get killed very easily?" Riker said, looking confused.

"Why must you ruin my moments?" Damien snapped.

Brock ran in, he crashed into the Captain's chair and got knocked unconscious. Ash and May followed him, looking rather nervous. "Sir, two Enterprise people have been spotted arguing over some green guy on Deck Five," Ash said.

"Which people?" Damien asked.

May glanced at Ash, "uh a blonde guy and a black haired girl. They were tossing the guy around like he was a chew toy."

Damien frowned, "James and the new Slayer." The camera zoomed in on him, it hit him and knocked him unconscious.

"So the magic word isn't Damien anymore, aaw," Riker moaned.

Meanwhile in the Alpha Quadrant:
Kathryn was having a thrilling conversation about coffee with her sister, when the camera started to zoom in on her. She noticed it and screamed. First she pushed Phoebe in the way, it avoided her and still tried to zoom in on Kathryn. She then decided that running away would be best, but the camera just continued to follow.

"Right, this is disturbing," Phoebe muttered. She shrugged it off and drank Kathryn's coffee.

Back on the Pegasus bridge:
"I'm confused, which word is the magic word?" Misty asked.

Damien regained consciousness. Ash put his hand up, "maybe it was Slayer."

"No, that's a Buffy dramatic close up word," May muttered.

"Maybe it was the name James," Ash said. Once again Damien got knocked unconscious.

Misty giggled, "what would happen if... James."

The camera tried to zoom in on Damien again, he woke up just in time and screamed. He tried rolling away from it, but it kept following him.

"Wow, the cameramen are adapting," Riker said in a dramatic voice.

Meanwhile:
Craig tapped his commbadge, "Anderson to Enterprise, we've searched the ship's database and there's nothing about a time travel device."

In: "How did you manage to get in?"

"Well the password was hard but I got it," Craig said, beaming too much.

Naomi groaned, "it was just bunnies, the first attempt he made was rabbit."

In: "Ugh, download the database, we may as well steal it."

"Why?" Craig questioned.

In: "Cos I feel like it, god."

"Right, should we contact James and Zare to tell them?" Naomi asked.

The Bridge:
Damien sat down in his chair, "phew it gave up. Now... what the?" The camera zoomed in again, and crashed right into his head harder than usual.

"Hey, the cameraman just killed Damien! Oh god, who's next!" Misty screamed.

"No one," everyone else muttered. It then kicked in, everyone looked rather scared.

The Enterprise, ten minutes later:

Captains Log... um Captains Log, damn it what's the point? We've discovered that Damien and his crew are not responsible for what Kes said is going to happen, or should I say are not going to be responsible? Oh screw it. We're going to keep an eye out, but Kes believes we don't have to worry about it for a while. Oh and Kiara's come out of that damn coma.

Sickbay:
"So how did you do it doc?" Lena asked.

"I didn't do anything," Freddie replied.

Nikki shrugged, "she just woke up."

Lena turned to Kiara, "that's odd."

"Not really, the dream seemed to end right when I figured out it was a dream," Kiara said.

"Kiara we're not doing a parody of Waking Moments," Lena said.

Kiara rolled her eyes, "I know and thank god."

"How did you figure out it was a dream?" Nikki asked.

"Well for starters my dream was based on an alternate reality, where we got home before we reached New Earth again. But here's the thing, Yasmin was home too," Kiara replied.

Everyone nodded their heads. "Yes, that doesn't sound right," Lena muttered.

"I was thinking how is Yasmin in the Alpha Quadrant when she's still lost in another quadrant, I mean come on," Kiara said.

Meanwhile in Astrometrix:
Yasmin walked into the room, she headed towards one of the stations. "Oh god this is boring," she moaned.

Jessie stepped into the room, "Yasmin have you seen James anywhere?"

Yasmin's eyes widened, "no. Oh god." The camera zoomed in on her and knocked her out.

Jessie stared at her, "wow the cameramen are getting vicious." She tapped her commbadge, "Sickbay."

And so the so called drama continues.

****THE END****

Previous Episode <<  >> Next Episode