Episode 2.02: The Love Spell


The Love Spell

Episode Synopsis
After Tom organises a Blind Date show, four couples are forced to stay on a planet for a week. Unfortunately everything gets way out of hand when an alien race puts a love spell on everyone.

Guest Stars
Marill as herself
Charizard as himself
Raichu as himself
Jennifer Lien as Kes
Cilla Black as herself

Written By
Marill & Charizard

15th July 2001

26th January 2005

Episode Based In
September 2376 (early season 7)


Janeway's Ready Room:
Chakotay walked into the room. He couldn't see anybody behind the desk and stacks of PADDs.

"Captain?" he said loudly.

"I'm behind here," a muffled voice said from behind the PADDs. It was most definitely Kathryn's voice. She appeared beside the desk. "What can I do for you Commander?" she asked.

"Maybe I should give you this PADD another time," Chakotay muttered. Kathryn walked up to him and she took yet another PADD out of his hands.

"Don't bother, I'll add it to the pile. You won't believe most of the stuff that I've been reading," Kathryn said.

"Oh really, give me an example," Chakotay said.

"Well Ensign Taylor wants his surname changed," Kathryn said as she picked up another PADD from the desk.

"Why?" Chakotay asked.

"The note is brief, it just said 'it's because of Tom,'" Kathryn replied.

"Why doesn't that surprise me? Tom seems to have a knack for annoying people," Chakotay said.

"He wants to change his surname to his step father's surname," Kathryn said.

"And what is that exactly?" Chakotay asked.

"Stuart," Kathryn replied.

"Really, there was an actor called James Stuart back in the 20th century," Chakotay said.

"I'd better not tell him that. I have a feeling that he wants his name changed because Tom found out about a 20th century singer called James Taylor," Kathryn said.

"I'll not tell him, so are you going to allow him to change it?" Chakotay asked.

"May as well, but Tom will find another way to torture him," Kathryn replied as she put the PADD back on the table.

"Actually while we're on the subject, Tom has made another holodeck program. Kiara wants to know if she can reprogram it," Chakotay said.

"We don't know what it's like, I'll have to check it out first," Kathryn replied.

"You have no choice. The PADD is an invitation to the new holodeck program, from Tom himself," Chakotay said.

"Great, who else is going to this program," Kathryn muttered. Chakotay pulled out another PADD.

"Morgan, Jessie, Emma, B'Elanna, you, Annika, me, Craig, James, Tom, Harry & Lee," Chakotay replied as he read the PADD.

"How the hell is he going to persuade them to go in his new holodeck program?" Kathryn asked.

"He seems to be very good at lying," Chakotay replied.

The Mess Hall:
"What kind of program is it?" Morgan asked.

"It's just Upendi, enhanced," Tom replied. The entire table groaned.

"It was fine the way it was," Lisa muttered.

"Yeah if I remember correctly Morgan, Craig, Jessie & James decided to have a go at the Upendi ride," Harry said.

"It doesn't mean anything," Morgan said quickly.

"Yeah, I believe you, Morgan," Tom said.

"Speaking of which, where is Jessie, James & Craig?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, where are they?" Morgan said quickly.

"I don't care, I don't have a new song for James," Tom said. All the girls on the table just stared at him with identical confused looks on their faces.

"Don't ask," Harry muttered.

"I don't think I will," Claire muttered. Faye walked up to the table, she was carrying a plastic carrier bag. She dumped it on the table.

"What is that?" Lilly asked.

"My collection," Faye replied.

"Of what exactly?" Emma asked. Faye started to look through her bag.

"Oh no, I thought she gave up that collection," Lisa moaned. Faye pulled out a small rubber puppy.

"Puppy in my Pocket," Faye said suddenly. Lisa groaned and she rested her head on the table.

"Ohno, not those, one of the writers that I knew used to collect them," Emma said.

"Ooh, ooh, tell me who," Tom said.

"Tom, just shut up," Emma muttered.

Faye was busy putting lots of rubber little puppies and kittens on the table. She put a golden retriever on the table. "This is Kim," Faye said. She pulled out a collie. "This is Simba," she said. Emma picked one up and she threw it at Neelix. "Noooo, why did you do that for!" Faye squealed, she threw her arms around the ones she put on the table and she pulled them closer to her.

"We don't want to know all of their names," Emma muttered.

"But I wanted to show you all two hundred of them," Faye said.

"Faye, you told me you had given up that collection ages ago," Lisa said.

"But I can replicate them now. It's fun," Faye said.

"Geez, she'll be playing with them next," Claire muttered.

"I already do, I built a model school for them, and I replicated some of the houses for them," Faye said.

"I really don't believe it," Harry muttered. Tom was starting to get bored.

"So, are you coming Morgan, Emma, or what?" Tom asked.

"Fine I'll go, maybe I'll get drunk and get that image of Faye playing with rubber puppies out of my head," Morgan replied.

"If there's beer, I'm there," Emma said.

"What about us?" Claire asked.

"If I can't get the other girls that I want to go, to actually go then I'll ask you lot," Tom replied. Faye headed over to Neelix's kitchen and she picked up one of her puppies. The alarm on her watch went off.

"Oh, dinner time for my little school, see you guys later," Faye said and she rushed out of the room.

"She needs help," Claire muttered.

Holodeck Two, four hours later:
Morgan, Annika, Jessie, Emma, B'Elanna & Kathryn were sitting in a small stuffy room. They all looked extremely bored.

"What is the relevance of this room?" Annika asked.

"Look Bonnika, quit talking like a robot, it does my head in," Morgan moaned.

"It's Annika," Annika muttered.

"I want some beer, this is not the Upendi program," Emma moaned.

"Emma, don't you see, we were tricked," B'Elanna said.

"You would think we would know when he is trying to trick us," Jessie muttered. Suddenly some really cheesy music started in another room.

"What kind of crappy music is that?" Morgan asked.

"Ohno, it sounds like the Blind Date theme music!" Emma shouted. Everyone turned to stare at her, all with identical looks of horror on their faces.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the program:
A holographic audience was cheering as they sat in a cheesy studio. The stage was split into two. One side had three chairs on top of a platform. The left side was larger. There was a tall stool next to the dividing wall.

"Good evening, this is Blind-da Date, and here is your host, Miss Cilla Black," a man's voice, with an annoying accent said. A short woman walked onto the stage.

"Hello and welcome chucks. This is Blind Date. Tonight we have six lovely lasses and six gorgeous lads. Unfortunately only four girls and lads will get a date tonight. Now lets bring out the girls," the woman said in a more annoying accent.

Morgan, Annika and Jessie were pushed onto the stage where the three chairs were. They sat down on them. Cilla walked up to them.

"Hello number one, what is your name?" the woman asked Morgan.

"Morgan," she replied.

"Her name's Morgan everybody. Now where do you come from?" Cilla asked.

"Voyager," Morgan replied.

"And where exactly is that?" Cilla asked.

"Space, duh," Morgan muttered.

"Ookay, what do you do for a living?" Cilla asked.

"Does bossing people around count as a job?" Morgan asked.

"How interesting," Cilla muttered. She walked up to Annika. "What's your name?" Cilla asked Annika.

"Annika Hansen," she replied.

"And where do you come from?" Cilla asked.

"The Borg Collective," Annika replied.

"That's in space too, Miss Beaver," Morgan muttered.

"Beaver?" Cilla asked.

"You're an idiot," Morgan said.

"Ookay, what do you do for a living?" Cilla asked.

"I annoy all the J/Cers by getting off with Chakotay, and I constantly keep saving the ship, oh and I attract sleasy male college students to watch the show," Annika replied.

"Grrr, she's annoying me again," Marill growled

"But you wrote the line," Charizard said.

"I don't care, lets be nasty to her," Marill said.

Suddenly the seat that Annika was sitting in broke and she fell to the ground. The seat slit open her cat suit. Everyone laughed at her as she tried to cover up the gaping hole on her leg.

"That's original Voyager Bonnika, here you're here to be nasty too," Morgan said as the laughing died down. Annika pulled herself back onto her feet and she just sulked. Cilla tried to ignore the scene that had transpired and she walked over to Jessie.

"Oookay, number three, what's your name?" Cilla asked Jessie.

"Bog off," she replied.

"Your name is Bog Off?" Cilla asked.

"No," Jessie groaned.

"Then why did you say it?" Cilla asked.

"Coz I want you to bog off," Jessie replied.

"Ookay, where are you from?" Cilla asked.

"Durham," Jessie muttered.

"What do you do for a living?" Cilla asked.

"I beat up Tom all the time, does that count for anything?" Jessie replied.

"Oookay, lets go and meet the lad," Cilla said. She walked onto the second bit of the stage. "Norman, lets put up the soundproof wall." A guy walked onto the other side of the stage.

"Right Cilla," he said. A second wall quickly appeared next to the other wall separating the two separate parts of the stage.

"Right everyone, lets meet Craig Anderson from Manchester," Cilla said. The cheesy music started again as Craig stepped onto the stage. He sat down on the stool. "Hello Craig."

"Hi Cilla," Craig said.

"Behind the screen are three lovely girls..." Cilla said. Craig quickly jumped off the stool and he tried to get passed the screen. Cilla grabbed his arm and she dragged him back to his stool. "No Craig, you are only allowed one girl. Anyway you ask three questions, the computer automatically types them up for you, then it is transferred to my Norman behind the screen. He will then ask those lovely girls the questions and he'll send the answers back to us," Cilla said.

"Oh, okay," Craig muttered.

"Craig, your first question please," Cilla said.

"What is your favourite song?" Craig asked.

"Halloween by Aqua," Morgan replied.

"Music is irrelevant," Annika replied.

"Buzz by Steps," Jessie replied.

"What is your favourite TV program?" Craig asked.

"Futurama," Morgan replied.

"TV is irrelevant," Annika replied.

"Pokémon," Jessie replied.

"What is your favourite drink?" Craig asked.

"Cherry Coke," Morgan replied.

"Nutritional Supplement 34 Beta," Annika replied.

"Cherry Coke," Jessie replied.

"What is your decision, Craig?" Cilla asked.

"Number One. Number Two sounds like Annika. I love Cherry Coke and Aqua too, ooh that girl looks a lot like Morgan. I don't like Steps that much, but I love those three girls, oh one looks like Jessie.." Craig started drooling as he thought of Morgan & Jessie. Cilla used the microphone to hit him over the head.

"Okay, lets see who you turned down. First you turned down the lovely.. snigger.. Annika Hansen from the Borg Collective. Beam her here Norman," Cilla said. Annika suddenly appeared, she just walked straight off the stage. "And you also turned down the lovely Lisa look alike from Durham." Jessie appeared. She looked happy that she hadn't been picked and she left the stage.

Jessie thought, "glad it isn't me."

"Are you ready for this Craig. You chose the youngest and the most loveliest one of the three. You chose the Lene look alike from Voyager," Cilla said. Morgan appeared. Craig's face lit up like a Christmas tree.

Morgan thought, "oh nuts, I should have known."

Cilla brought Morgan over to Craig. Cilla put her arms around both of them.

"Don't they make a lovely couple, chucks?" Cilla asked. For some reason Norman pressed a play button on a tape recorder, all that was heard from it was an audience cheering. The original holo audience had gone.

"Tom, what is all this about?" Harry asked as he and Tom walked down the corridor.

"It's just a little bit of fun, Harry. We'd better hurry, Jessie's picking next and Cilla chose us to be one of the choices," Tom said.

"There's no point, she wouldn't choose us anyway," Harry said.

"Is that a bad thing? Harry it's just for fun and besides the chooser doesn't know who the guys are until she's chosen," Tom said.

"What happens if she chooses you then?" Harry asked.

"Forget suicide, B'Elanna and Jessie will kill me personally," Tom replied.

"Do you think she'll choose me?" Harry asked.

"Don't tell me you like her, that's just sick," Tom groaned.

"Look who's talking," Harry muttered.

"What do you mean?" Tom asked.

"Tom, you only pester guys if you like them, you only pester girls because you fancy them. B'Elanna told me you pestered her all the time. And Jessie, you still pester her every single day. Hmm, what does that tell me?" Harry said.

"Harry, it doesn't mean anything, stop enraging the P/Ters," Tom said.

"Oh it does mean something," Harry said.

"Don't be stupid. Jessie, is just Jessie. She's a wolf in sheep's clothing," Tom said.

"Tom, she's not that bad. She only acts that way with people who annoy her. James doesn't annoy her at all, and she barely lays a finger on him," Harry said.

"Harry, where have you been? She touches him all the time, but not in the painful way," Tom said.

Harry thought, "I wish I was him, ugh actually I don't want to look like that."

"That's not what I meant, I mean she barely hits him. Maybe if you leave her alone she might leave you alone. You've got to admit though, she is really cute," Harry said.

Tom thought, "I agree, but I'm not going to say that. I'll look like a dope."

"Ugh, I'm going to be sick. This is Jessie we're talking about here. Who ever she chooses will get knocked out for sure, that's why I've chosen a certain person to be the third candidate," Tom said.

"But I though Cilla chose the candidates," Harry muttered.

"She does, but I recommended him," Tom said.

"I take it the guy is somebody you hate," Harry said.

"No, he's all right when he wants to be. I just want to get him back for that whoopee cushion he put on my chair just an hour ago," Tom said.

Harry thought, "oops, that poor guy, that was actually me."

"I thought that was your prank," Harry said quickly.

"Why do you think I want to get him back," Tom said.

"There's a one in third chance of him being picked, what's the point. Actually who is it?" Harry asked.

"Wait and see," Tom replied.

Back in the Studio:
"Well then chucks, we've got some gorgeous lads so lets bring them out," Cilla said. Norman brought out Tom, Harry & James. They sat down on the chairs. Cilla walked up to Tom. "What's your name chuck?" she asked Tom.

"Tom Paris," he replied.

"Where are you from?" Cilla asked.

"Earth," Tom replied.

"More like the planet of the apes," James muttered.

"I choose to ignore that comment," Tom said quietly.

"What do you do for a living?" Cilla asked.

"I pilot the most advanced ship in the fleet," Tom said.

"Tom, you don't fly the Enterprise E," Harry said.

"You had to burst my bubble didn't you Harry?" Tom mutttered.

"Interesting. Number Two, what is your name?" Cilla asked Harry.

"Harry Kim," he replied.

"Where are you from?" Cilla asked.

"San Franciso," Harry replied.

"Yeah right," James muttered.

"Do you have comment on everything?" Tom asked.

"I try my best," James replied.

"What do you do for a living?" Cilla asked.

"I work at opps," Harry replied.

"Okay, number three, what is your name?" Cilla asked James.

"James Stuart," he replied.

"Drat, why did you change your name, I was having fun," Tom moaned. Harry just groaned.

"Where are you from?" Cilla asked.

"England," James replied.

"Geordie Land more like," Tom muttered.

"Oh, now who's commenting," James said. Harry groaned again.

"What do you do for a living?" Cilla asked.

"Don't ask that, he'll probably say eat," Tom said.

"Shut up, Eugene," James said.

Tom thought, "crap, how does he know my middle name?"

"Fine, what's your job?" Cilla asked.

"He doesn't work!" Tom laughed.

"I do!" James snapped. Harry groaned again.

"Since when is playing computer games and flirting with your best friend, work?" Tom asked.

"I don't flirt with anybody, only a perverty helmsman does that," James said. Harry continued to groan.

"Please, stop arguing. We haven't got time, chucks," Cilla said.

"Chuck off!" Tom and James yelled. Harry groaned again. Cilla looked rather hurt.

"We'd better go and meet the girl," Cilla said. It wasn't long before Jessie was sitting on the stool while Cilla was explaining things to her.

"What's your first question, chuck?" Cilla asked.

"What does chuck mean?" Jessie asked.

"That's your question for the lads?" Cilla asked.

"No, I was asking you Miss Beaver," Jessie replied.

Cilla thought, "why does everyone keep calling me Miss Beaver, chucks?"

"Just ask your first question," Cilla muttered.

"Where would you take a girl on the first date? Who writes this crap?" Jessie asked, reading from a card.

"A romantic restaurant," Tom replied.

"Cinema, definitely," Harry replied.

"I don't know, she can decide," James replied.

"What would you give a girl on her birthday?" Jessie asked.

"Flowers," Tom replied.

"Chocolates," Harry replied.

"Depends on what she wants," James replied.

"What type of girl do you usually date?" Jessie asked. She then threw the card off stage and it hit Annika on the head. It gave her a massive paper cut and it started to bleed very badly.

Jessie thought, "who writes this crap anyway?"

Meanwhile, at Marill's house, Charizard was sitting at the keyboard typing away while laughing his head off, Marill was putting pins into a Voyager poster (where Seven was). Raichu was singing, very badly, to Barbie Girl. Marill and Charizard were forced to put earplugs in as Raichu tried to hit a high note. The window started to crack when Raichu was singing the "ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh," bit.

Anyway, back to Fifth Voyager.

"Intelligent and strong girls," Tom replied.

"Cute girls," Harry replied.

Tom thought, "they're all aliens, they're not cute."

"I've never been on a date before," James said quietly. Tom and Harry laughed at him.

"Ookay, have you decided then?" Cilla asked.

"I don't want to pick one," Jessie muttered.

"Pick one, they're all very nice," Cilla said.

"I don't like number one cos he sounds too 'soppy'. Number two sounds too much like Craig. Number three sounds familiar, I think I'll choose him," Jessie said.

"You're insane," Cilla muttered to herself.

Cilla thought, "must be because she's a Geordie, they're all weird."

"That's it, you're going down! Raichu shut the hell up!" Marill yelled.

"If you show me to the sugar tree," Raichu sang.

"Ooh, can I have a pin?" Charizard asked.

"You're all insane, unlike me of course," Marill muttered and she continued to stab Seven with pins, she started giggling like a little hyper kid.

"You're all insane, shut up!" Tom yelled.

"Er.. okay. So you turned down number one from Earth, beam Tom here Norman," Cilla said. Tom appeared, he winked at her as he walked away. Jessie threw her other cards at him and he got two large paper cuts on his neck. "Next you turned down the lovely Harry from San Francisco, beam him here Norman," Cilla said. Harry appeared and he looked rather disappointed.

"I knew Harry would be the new Craig," Jessie muttered.

"That's so insulting," Harry muttered and he left the stage.

"Okay, Jessie, you picked the lovely H look alike from England," Cilla said. A very nervous looking James appeared. He calmed down a little bit when he saw Jessie. Cilla brought him over to her and she then put her arms around them."Don't they make a lovely couple chucks?" Cilla asked.

"Didn't she say that to Morgan & Craig?" Jessie asked.

"At least she was right that time," James replied.

In: "That's it, I'm going to reply to that comment with a growl," Morgan said, everyone heard her growling over the intercom.

Tom was sitting on the stool. Norman was talking about the three girls who were behind the screen.

"Who do you choose Tom?" Cilla asked.

"Number Three," Tom replied.

"Lets see, you turned down the lovely Emma from Newcastle," Cilla said. Emma appeared. She stared angrily at Tom and she stormed off the stage. "Next you turned down the lovely B'Elanna from Kessik Four," Cilla said. B'Elanna appeared with a big grin on her face.

"You're going to love who you chose, Tommy boy," B'Elanna said and she left the stage laughing.

"Okay Tom, you chose the.. lovely.. Annika from the Borg Collective," Cilla said.

Tom thought, "oh dear god no!"

Annika appeared. She looked extremely angry. Cilla brought her over to Tom and she put her arms around them.

"Yeah, we've heard it all before," Tom muttered.

"Don't they make a lovely couple chucks?" Cilla asked. Tom and Annika groaned.

"This hologram is malfunctioning," Annika muttered.

"She says that to everybody, unfortunately," Tom muttered.

"Emma, who do you choose?" Cilla asked.

"Number One," Emma replied.

"First you turned down the lovely Lee from Manchester," Cilla said. Lee appeared.

Lee thought, "she's the chainsaw girl, oh crap. Oooh chainsaw, I want one."

Lee wandered off the stage while thinking about chainsaws.

"Next you turned down the lovely Harry from San Francisco," Cilla said. Harry appeared, again he looked very disappointed. He quickly left the stage.

Emma thought, "drat, knowing my luck Craig will be behind the screen."

"Now you chose the lovely Indian guy from Dorvan Five," Cilla said. Chakotay appeared, he saw Emma and he panicked. Emma giggled hysterically, she ran over and she gave him a big hug. "Don't they make a lovely couple, chucks?" Cilla asked. Norman brought out the other three couples.

"Now Cilla, it's time to tell our couples where they are all staying," Norman said.

"Staying? Is there something you should have warned us about earlier?" Chakotay asked.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that. It's a mini holiday, harmless. I've already arranged the holiday with the Captain," Tom muttered.

"Yeah, where did she disappear too?" Morgan asked.

"She threatened Cilla, if she put her on the stage she would turn her into a bug and then step on her," Tom replied.

"Why didn't I think of that?" Jessie muttered to herself.

"You'll be staying in a beautiful villa on the island of Thairanaya," Cilla said.

"Where is that?" Craig asked.

"On the planet we're orbiting. It's a small island, nobody lives there, it's just a holiday resort, well more like a four bedroom villa," Tom replied.

"In other words, the perfect romantic vacation, enjoy," Cilla said.

"Computer, turn Cilla into a flea, and make sure she's stuck to the floor," Morgan said. Cilla suddenly disappeared. Morgan saw a little black bug on the floor and she stepped on it a couple of times. "Oh dear, how clumsy of me," Morgan said sarcastically.

Thairanaya Island:
All eight crewmembers were sitting outside the villa. The villa was extremely large. It had a medium sized patio in front of the house, the crewmembers were sitting at a table inside of it.

"So Tom, what's the point of this little holiday?" Jessie asked.

"In Blind Date, the winning contestants have to spend the entire vacation together, to get to know each other. Quite a lot of couples actually fight for the whole holiday and some even fall in love," Tom said. He looked around the table, all he could see were disgusted faces looking in his direction. The door to the patio was opened. A small alien man walked in.

"Hello, my name is Psoni. I live on the nearby island. I own this villa. I'll show you to your rooms," the man said. Everyone stood up and followed the man into the villa. The living room was huge, it was lightly decorated and it contained a lot of furniture.

"The first couple I'll show to their rooms are Jessie & James. But first I need one couple to volunteer to come with me to the mainlands to pick up some supplies," Psoni said. Tom, Emma, Jessie & James pointed at Morgan & Craig. "Right, you two will come with me after I show you all to your rooms. Can the first two people I mentioned come with me?" Psoni asked. Jessie and James stood up and they followed Psoni out of the living room.

Five minutes later, a large studio in the villa:
The door opened and Psoni walked in, followed by James and Jessie.

"This is your studio," Psoni said. The pair started to look around the studio. There was only one bedroom, and there was a small kitchen at the far side of the room. Jessie looked inside the bedroom.

"Er.. Psoni, there's only one bed in this room. I thought this studio was for two," Jessie said. Psoni walked up to her.

"Each studio in this villa is one bedroom. This villa is for couples after all," Psoni said. Jessie and James looked at each other, and they both groaned.

"Okay then, you sleep on the couch tonight, and we'll take turns every night," Jessie said.

"Works for me," James said.

"You don't get it do you?" Psoni moaned.

"Oh, you don't expect us to share, do you?" Jessie asked.

"Well that's the whole point," Psoni muttered.

"Fine, piece of cake," Jessie muttered.

"Good, I hope the others are more co-operative," Psoni said.

"Don't bet on it," James said.

"Why not?" Psoni asked.

"They're not used to each other. They haven't lived with each other for seventeen years," James said.

"You've lived with each other for that long? How romantic," Psoni said.

"Gross," Jessie muttered.

"What's so gross?" Psoni asked.

"The romantic remark was gross," Jessie replied.

"I don't understand. In my culture a couple only live together because.." Psoni said.

"We're only friends!" Jessie snapped.

"Your culture is way to bizarre for me, I'd better go. Have fun," Psoni said. He headed out the door. He winked at them both just before he stepped out of the door.

"Pervert," they both said.

Meanwhile, on an alien ship:
"Status?" an alien asked.

"We're ready to deploy the virus, but eight crewmembers have transported down to the planet," another alien replied.

"When they're all in one place, deploy the virus there too. Just get the ship first," the first alien said.

"Aye sir," the second alien said.

Kathryn walked into the turbolift. "I'll be in Sickbay, you have the Bridge, Commander," she said.

"Aye Captain," Tuvok replied. Tani walked up to him.

"Tuvok, can I play with the console?" she asked.

"No you cannot play with it," Tuvok replied.

"But I want to fire some weapons," Tani moaned.

"There's nobody to fire at," Tuvok said. Lilly, Claire & Lee walked onto the Bridge. Claire and Lee snuck onto Kathryn & Chakotay's chairs. Lilly walked over to Harry. He saw her come up to him.

Harry thought, "uhoh, I hope she doesn't stay for long."

"Hiya Harry," Lilly said sweetly.

"Hi," Harry muttered.

"The Doctor wanted me to give you this," Lilly said and she handed a PADD to him.

"What's it for?" Harry asked.

"No idea, why don't you read it silly," Lilly replied. The helm and opps console bleeped.

"Commander, I'm detecting a ship," Danny said.

"And I'm detecting a strange energy build up inside their ship," Harry said.

"Red Alert," Tuvok ordered. The lights dimmed, the siren started and the red flashy lights came on. A few of the bulbs dimmed and went off.

"Commander, the bulbs have ran out," Danny said.

"Well duh," Lee muttered.

"Replace them, crewman," Tuvok ordered. She conveniently found a big box of bulbs.

"Commander, they're only the pink ones," Danny said.

"Just put them in then," Tuvok said. Danny gave the bulbs to Lee and Claire.

"Here, you put them in," Danny said. Claire and Lee groaned and they went over to change the bulbs.

"The ship is firing some strange beam," Harry said.

"Shields to maximum," Tuvok ordered.

"Why are you telling us, you're the one at Tactical?" Tani asked.

"Then you take over, I'll sit in the big chair," Tuvok said.

Suddenly a strange reddy pinky coloured light overwhelmed the ship. The alien ship disappeared from sensors. Naomi and Kiara walked onto the Bridge and they were about to be sick. Harry and Lilly were kissing, so was Claire and Lee, and so was Tani & Tuvok! Danny was staring at them all with a disgusted look on her face. She fiddled with the console and she beamed away, leaving the kids to observe the episode that has turned out to be a horror.

You can just guess who was writing this scene, can't you?

One hour later, the ferry:
"Psoni, how long does it take to get too the mainlands?" Morgan asked.

"About, five minutes, what are you in a hurry for?" Psoni asked.

"I'm not, I was just bored. And the sun's making my hair burn," Morgan replied.

"Black hair usually does on this planet, honey, you should dye it," Psoni said.

"Don't call me honey!" Morgan yelled. Psoni groaned and he walked away. Craig walked up to her. "You're lucky Craig, you have blonde hair, it doesn't attract the sun," Morgan muttered.

"Why don't you dye yours then?" Craig asked.

"I will, if I can find the stuff to do it," Morgan said.

"This planet must be far too close to the sun, even my hair's getting hot," Craig moaned as he felt the back of his head. Morgan walked up closer to him. She also touched the back of his head.

"That's no way near as hot as mine," Morgan said. For some odd reason they were both closer and closer to each other. They were about to kiss when Morgan collapsed on him.

"Oh, that's not fair. I was so close too," Craig moaned.

Some strange misty place:
Morgan woke up and she looked around. She stood up. The whole area was misty. She could see a few figures heading towards her. One of them everybody recognises, but Morgan doesn't. The lead figure stopped and the others started bowing in front of her.

"Are you god?" Morgan asked.

"I am the goddess of Voyager, all hail me," the woman said. The people around her continued to bow and repeat her name.

"What am I doing here? What the hell was I going to do before? Am I dead or am I hallucinating?" Morgan asked.

"Calm down. You have many questions, and I can answer the first and third question, but only you can answer the second one," the woman replied.

"Well?" Morgan asked.

"You're neither dead or hallucinating, we are in a telepathic link. Secondly you are here so I can warn you of danger and so I can make a really cool appearance," the woman replied.

"Danger? What kind of danger?" Morgan asked.

"Your crew has fallen under Cupid's spell, but your crew may be killed if you don't warn them," the woman replied.

"Cupid's spell? How can that kill them, well they can die of embarrasment," Morgan asked.

"Some aliens have abused the spell and they're using it to capture ships and kill it's crew. You and the others on the planet are the only ones who can stop them. I suppose others on your crew were not affected by the spell, they can help too," the woman replied.

"Wait a second, how can we be in a telepathic link? I'm human, I'm not telepathic," Morgan asked.

"Er.. it's a long story, maybe we should.. freeze frame!" the woman yelled. The entire scene just freezed.

Will Morgan and co save Voyager from Cupid's spell? Will we ever find out what happened between Morgan & Craig? Is Cilla finally gone from our lives? Will the ones on the planet get infected with the spell? And will we ever find out who this mysterious person is?

"Oh come on, it's pretty obvious," the woman said.

"Is it?" Morgan asked.

Find out next time, on Fifth Voyager...

"Hang on a sec, this isn't a two parter," Morgan said. Marill & Charizard appeared.

"Shh, we're trying to sound dramatic," Charizard said.

"This is a two parter episode, all the suckers thought this was a one parter," Marill whispered.

"Er.. Marill, people will be reading this," Charizard said.

"Oh s***! Fine you all win, here's the second part, and I'll try to keep Charizard away from the keyboard," Marill grumbled.

"Haha, you can try," Charizard laughed.


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