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Episode Synopsis
The six crewmembers continue to try and make a home on New Earth, but their differences cause chaos among the group.

Written
6th, 11th - 13th September 2003

Episode Based In
February 2372 (mid season 2)

Day 19:
Lisa was lying in her new bed, tossing and turning, muttering quietly, "no stop... stop singing, damn monkey." There was a quick flash outside, Lisa sat up quickly. She sighed in relief, "oh thank god. There's no such thing as Upendi, what was I thinking."

Kathryn's voice came through the walls, a little muffled, "no come back, I just want to drink you. Come back."

Lisa groaned, she fell back down onto the bed.

Meanwhile:
Another flash of lightening lit up Jessie's room briefly. James pulled himself out of the bed, as he did another lightening strike struck the ground just outside. He looked out of the window to see Kathryn sleep walking while muttering, "wait for me coffee."

James looked briefly at Jessie, who was tossing and turning herself. He turned back towards the window in time for another lightening strike, just as the light was fading he saw a figure nearby the neighbouring shelter.

Meanwhile again:
Chakotay was also tossing and turning in his bed. The main door opened slowly, Kathryn stepped in looking pretty much awake and also looking pretty frazzled. "God, what are the chances," she muttered before heading back to her room.

And again, you get the idea:
James left the shelter holding one phaser rifle, he headed towards the nearest trees. Something moved on one of the tree branches making James jump a mile, and point the rifle at it. A monkey came into view. "Oh, it's just Chakotay's brother," he sighed in relief.

The monkey stared at James for a second or two before attempting to bite his own tail. James shrugged, and continued into the woods.

A figure stepped out from behind a tree, "I'm glad you could make it, it's a nice night isn't it?"

James pointed the rifle at the figure, "who the hell are you?"

The figure stepped closer, it turned out to be Frenit. "Please, like a rifle could hurt me."

"I could put it on vaporise," James said.

Frenit put one of his hands half way up, "it's ok, I come to you as a friend... ok lying there. I come to you as a messenger, don't shoot the messenger."

"What possible message could you have for me?" James said questioningly.

Frenit put his hand back down by his side, "a warning. Have you ever heard of the Masters?"

"Not really, but I don't care," James replied.

"You can always tell when a Slayer has a watcher and when they don't," Frenit said, shaking his head.

"It's not my fault they're annoying," James said.

"Whatever, we're missing the point here. You see the Masters are the original vampires," Frenit said.

"Oh like in Buffy with that really ugly guy," James said, lowering the rifle a little.

Frenit smiled, "it's funny you should mention that. Things like that helped create the Masters."

"Ookay, what do you mean?" James asked.

"It's very simple. Your species created them using your dumb ideas for, what do you call them? Oh yes films and TV," Frenit replied.

James looked even more confused, "um did you escape from a nut house recently?"

"I just love watcherless Slayers, they're so clueless," Frenit said.

"I take that as a yes then," James said.

Frenit groaned, "you have no idea do you. You have no idea what you and too many others were born to fight. Ever heard of the Game Cubes?"

"Yes and no," James replied.

"Oh well, I'm not going to explain it since you're not going to see one ever anyway," Frenit said.

"Ok, how's that?" James asked.

"Because the Masters know where you are now, and they're going to kill you, like so many other Naturals," Frenit said. He started pacing, "anyway the species that created the Games used your vampire ideas for a Game, but something went wrong. The sprites that turned into vampires forgot their true identity, escaped the Game and well started breeding."

"If that's the case then how come you can stake vamps with things other than wood. If they were copied from Dracula, Buffy and other things..." James asked.

Frenit shrugged, "I dunno, they must have got some details wrong. Wait, I mean you can't kill us by stabbing us, that's just stupid."

James rolled his eyes, "just one thought, why are you telling me this if I'm supposedly going to die?"

"It's got something to do with why they kill any Slayers they can find. Because they were originally part of the Games, Slayers well slayed some of them since it is there job and..." Frenit replied.

"And they want revenge," James said.

"That and Slayers are one of the only kind of people who can interfere with the vampire lifestyle," Frenit said.

"One of, who else can?" James asked.

Frenit shrugged, "several natural witches are naturally strong, but that's it. Oh and if you are interested, we could stop the Borg if we wanted to. They can't assimilate us."

"I kinda already guessed that," James muttered.

"Oh well, you should really worry about the Masters. They were called just yesterday, so they'll be here soon," Frenit said.

"They're just the same as any other vampire, why should I worry?" James said questioningly.

"We're not pushovers remember, I killed you didn't I?" Frenit said.

"Whatever, these Masters could be just crap at fighting for all I know," James said.

"I doubt that. They have been around for hundreds of years, plus they've killed lots of Slayers, including several Chosens. If I were you, which I'm so glad I'm not, I'd hide away until they give up, which they won't. They have been looking for you since this generations Chosens were separated from the Naturals over twelve years ago," Frenit said.

"Twelve years ago..." James muttered.

"Oh yes that reminds me, how did you manage to survive those telepathic goons of the Masters anyway?" Frenit asked, folding his arms.

"Telepathic goons?" James said, raising his eyebrow.

"Ok fine, according to them they tried to kill you themselves and failed," Frenit said.

"Well let me see, I've been close to being murdered twice. The police were having problems with murders for several years, I figured it was just bad luck I got attacked twice," James said.

"I really like the sound of your planet," Frenit said.

James rolled his eyes, "it's nothing special."

"You say that now, but you should really wish you were there. Anyway, I have to go, sun's coming up soon," Frenit said. He turned around and started walking away.

Several hours later:
Kathryn stepped out of her shelter, she clapped her hands to get everyone's attention. "People, meeting time."

Lisa lowered her sunglasses, "no way, no more meetings unless we have a decent table this time. You know I hate grass, lots of bugs are there."

Jessie quickly stood up and brushed herself, "now you warn me."

"Well the shelter is fine, we can use Chakotay's bed as a table," Kathryn said.

"The grass seems a fine idea," Ian commented.

Chakotay glared at him, "how very witty Ian."

"Come on people, chop chop," Kathryn said while clapping her hands again.

"No we can't, the other guy aint here," Lisa said.

"Other guy?" Ian said, shaking his head. He glanced in Jessie's direction, "have you seen James today, I sure haven't."

"No, he left a note saying he was going for a walk," Jessie replied.

"Ohno, we'd better go and look for him," Kathryn stuttered.

"I'll do it, it's not like the meeting really concerns me anyway," Jessie said. She headed into the woods.

Lisa stood up, "I could do that too."

"No, we'll start the meeting when Jessie and James come back," Kathryn said.

Chakotay groaned, "it doesn't matter. Just start the meeting without them."

A little while later:
Jessie wandered into a familiar clearing, she found James sitting on the bank of the lake. She sat down beside him, "this is a funny looking walk."

James glanced at her, "I've already done that."

"So why didn't you come back then?" Jessie asked.

"Well I was going to, but Janeway singing Cry Me A River put me off," James replied.

Jessie's eyes widened, "so glad I slept in."

"It's ok, I didn't even come back after walking. I just needed to be alone to think," James said.

Jessie glanced down at the ground, "oh, I'll go then."

"No, I finished a while ago," James said.

"Ok, this is a nice place isn't it?" Jessie said as she looked around the area.

James stood up, "yeah it's swell."

Jessie looked up at him, "um, did I say something wrong?"

"No... you didn't," James replied.

Jessie stood up, "hang on. Is this the place you told me about?"

"You mean the place where I said I died, yes it is. I'm going to go now," James replied. He turned to leave.

"So why were you hanging here?" Jessie asked. She cringed slightly, "oh god, hanging... sorry."

"It's ok I drowned, I didn't get hanged. Now I'm really going," James said. He stopped and glanced behind him, "really." Jessie shook her head, she followed him.

Another little while later James and Jessie arrived back at the camp area. Chakotay was following Ian while yelling at him, Lisa was sitting on a sunbed sunbathing, and Kathryn was nowhere in sight.

"All I asked you to do was fix that damn bit of wood you stepped on!" Chakotay yelled.

Ian glanced behind him, "look Indian, I got an E in Woodwork... do you really want me to fix your damn plank?" He walked into the pipe thing, he held his head. "Oh my god, I hate this thing." He ducked slightly before continuing on.

"Ian you got a U, you didn't turn up to the exam," James said.

Ian put another hand over his forehead, "yeah well, I could have lied to you. You were too busy hanging with my little sis to know the truth."

"Stop changing the subject, I..." Chakotay said before doing the same as Ian.

"If you were lying, you would have said you got an A+," James said.

Ian groaned, "I'm in too much pain to care right now."

Lisa sat up, "you have a sister, how cute. How old is she, eight?"

"Yes as a fifteen year old, I hung around with babies," James muttered in response.

Ian sat down, "she's dead anyway, she was only thirteen."

Lisa pouted, "oh... oops. Lying back down."

Jessie came out of one of the shelters with a bottle, she sat down on another sunbed. "How was the meeting?"

"We didn't have it really, Ian stepped on a bit of wood and well he and Chakotay have been giving me a headache ever since," Lisa replied.

"Yes and the meeting's still going on, Kathryn is talking to herself," Chakotay said.

Lisa grinned, "ooh Kathryn ey?"

Jessie smiled, "that day's off is as good as mine."

Chakotay rolled his eyes, he cringed afterwards. "Damn pipe... what was I going to say? Oh yes, shut up girls."

"Yeah that's a point, shut up Jessie," Lisa said. She smiled innocently while Jessie just glared at her, "ok Jess, I'm going exploring later. If I find an aphrodisiac I'll tell you right."

Jessie folded her arms, "I hope you're just going to do that, just so we can leave Janeway and Chakotay alone."

"We can do much better than that," Ian added on.

"You kids are stupid. Kathryn and I are not going to do anything," Chakotay said.

"For crying out loud, I am going to win. You lot are just stupid for betting on the wrong couple, or being that couple... oh wait, you two are great if you let me win that is," Lisa said.

"Lisa, I already lost half of my brain because of that damn pipe, stop trying to scare the other half away," Ian moaned.

James looked around, he picked up what looked like a sander and he threw it. It made a hole in the other shelter's wall. Kathryn screamed, "oh dear god... this is a meeting not a wrestling program!"

Chakotay looked really annoyed, "I hope you didn't break that. That was my favourite sander, my only sander."

"I don't care," James said.

"I do... I have to be careful about where I look now or I may look through the hole when Chakotay's getting changed," Jessie muttered.

"That's not our biggest problem. This stupid bet is making this unfriendly and argumentive group even more unfriendly and argumentive," James said.

"I know he's not Neelix, but it's still a freaky problem," Jessie muttered.

Chakotay groaned, "oh great, I hope I don't win my bet. If I do I'll be hearing more complaining from her."

"What's that's suppose to mean monkey brains?" James asked.

"Shh, take it the way I'd take it," Ian whispered. Lisa giggled in response.

"Well it's quite simple. She complained when she saw Neelix streaking, then again who wouldn't..." Chakotay replied. Everyone nodded in agreement. "Now she complains that she may see me getting changed, what's she going to be like when she sees him?" he said looking at James.

James pretended to look shocked, "you were spying on me again Chakotay... you've got to be careful cos there's a mirror in the room somewhere."

Ian laughed, "good comeback, it scores two points instead of the usual one. Writing it down." He quickly wrote something down on a PADD.

"Oh well you did surprise me James. I never expected a good witty comeback from a little man who spends his days hitting undeserving people, sulking about his so called hard life and being sarcastic for the other 23 hours of the day," Chakotay said. James turned around, he went into the shelter, slamming the door behind him.

"Oh what do you know, it's a fatter and older version of Tom," Jessie commented.

Ian looked shocked, "oh what do you know, James lost. That's a first."

"Yeah, and all he was trying to do was calm us all down," Jessie said.

"Oh my god, everything's screwed up today. Must have been that lightening storm," Ian muttered.

Kathryn put her head through the hole, "ok who's up for some exploring?"

Lisa glared at Chakotay, "I thought you said I could go with Ian, not her."

"Ian is going to fix my plank of wood, or he's going to do a job for me," Chakotay said.

"I don't believe it, you said we couldn't be on our own if it was night time. Oh and James went out on his own," Lisa said.

"Oh I think he can take care of himself. Besides he'd start the fight with all that sulking and sarcasm," Chakotay said.

Lisa put her hands on her hips, "no, this is a 'men are stronger than women, they should be looked after by men' excuse that's hidden."

"No, I wouldn't let Kathryn go with you if that was the case," Chakotay said.

Lisa looked confused, "she's a woman, ookay."

Kathryn deathglared her, her head disappeared. Her whole self reappeared out of the house, "that was not nice Lisa."

"No it's not. By the way you know that bath I was making you, Ian broke a piece so it'll take longer," Chakotay said.

Ian smiled innocently, "oh yeah well Chakotay's gay, and he spies on James."

Kathryn gasped, "what?"

Chakotay groaned, "oh please, that was the only comeback line the stupid kid could come up with. It was enough to impress Ian, but that doesn't say much."

Lisa shrugged, "I thought it was better than your comment afterwards."

Kathryn deathglared Chakotay instead, "what have I told you?"

Chakotay sighed, "I'm sorry but he got me angry, he made that hole in the wall."

"Only because you lot were arguing like mad," Jessie said. Everyone looked at her. "Ok, I was too."

"That's no reason to make a hole in the wall," Chakotay said.

Kathryn placed a hand over her forehead, "look I know what this is. Voyager left orbit an hour ago and you're all feeling the strain. I am too, this will be hard but we will get home. For the time being, we have to live with each other. We can't do that while you're all bickering like schoolchildren. Everyone apologise to each other."

The others looked each other. "Sorry," they said at different times.

Kathryn glanced up at Chakotay, "are you forgetting someone."

Jessie smiled sweetly, "yes Chakotay, apologise to James."

"No, it's not like he'll apologise to me," Chakotay said.

Kathryn deathglared at him again, "he's a lot younger than you. Be an adult and apologise, he'll do the same if you do."

Chakotay sighed, he went into the shelter. Lisa looked in Kathryn's direction, "wow, were you a school teacher?"

"No, but I did babysit a mischievous baby for two years, and then I babysitted a cocky eight year old boy," Kathryn replied.

"Anyone we know?" Ian asked sneakily.

Kathryn smiled, "well the older one was actually Tom."

Jessie stood up, "so that was what, thirty five years ago?" Lisa giggled.

"Tom's not in his forties, he's only twenty nine. The other one should be twenty three this year," Kathryn said.

"Oh he's my age, I wonder if I know this American brat from my year group," Jessie said.

Kathryn looked nervous, "he was British, but there's a low chance you'll know him and that's he's still a brat. Anyway, exploring Lisa?"

"Sure," Lisa said, not looking sure about it.

A few minutes later:
Lisa and Kathryn were now nearby the lake, not far from a small waterfall. "Oh isn't that nice Lisa, a waterfall going into a lake. We'll have to find which stream it is, we don't want to take a boat down it and end up here," Kathryn said.

Lisa's eyes widened, "oh god no." She ran back the way she came.

Kathryn looked puzzled, "oh dear, what did I say wrong?"

Later:
Lisa ran back into the camp area, she found Chakotay sitting on the sunbed treating a bruise on his face. "Chakotay, you're an Indian guy. Are you a kind that can look at dreams and stuff?"

Chakotay looked up at her, "I could do that yes. Unfortunately I've got something to do first." He got up, walked over to the other shelter and banged his fist on the door. "Turn that damn music off now!"

"Screw you!" James' voice yelled through the door, and over the music too.

Lisa tried to keep a straight face, "apology not go well?"

"No, I tried but I lost my temper with him again. He went into a big strop and put Ian's CD player on full blast," Chakotay replied.

"Aaaw, a father and son quarrel," Lisa giggled.

Chakotay didn't look impressed, "no, if that was the case it would be me hitting him, not the other way round."

"Oh, what kind of brutal father are you?" Lisa asked.

Chakotay rolled his eyes, "oh please, his dad did that to him. If I was his dad I'd do more scowling than anything else. Plus he wouldn't act like a fifteen year old all the time."

"I heard that bit!" James' voice yelled again.

Chakotay banged on the door again, "well you'd better remember it. You're twenty two, remember?"

"Hey, do you think he has that 'beat everyone who annoys him up' attitude because of his dad?" Lisa said in mid thought.

"Don't give him another excuse to be like that. Now, you wanted me to look at a dream?" Chakotay said.

"Yeah, I dreamt about this weird water park called Upendi. I was with a guy on the crew, not Ian, on this weird leaf boat going along a water path thing. A monkey was singing to this weird tune, making the place seem like a water park for couples and..." Lisa said, she noticed Chakotay staring at her looking scared. "Do you think I'm going crazy?"

"No, I just think the dream has no meaning. It's just one of those silly dreams you're suppose to keep to yourself," Chakotay said.

Lisa narrowed her eyes, "oh gone all blurry." She rubbed her eyes, instead of seeing Chakotay she saw a monkey. "Oh my god, get away from me!" She ran over to the door, "James let me in now!"

James opened the door, "uh what for?" Lisa pushed passed him.

"Ok I was wrong, she's going crazy alright," Chakotay muttered.

James closed the door as Jessie put another CD in the player. Ian noticed, his eyes widened in terror, "no not that one."

The song Upendi started playing, Lisa looked even more scared before running back out of the house. James and Jessie, not noticing Lisa, looked at Ian. "Ookay Ian, nice song," Jessie said.

Ian covered one of his ears, "shut up, shut up." He quickly took the CD out, and put another one inside.

"Where did Lisa go?" James asked as he looked around.

"Yeah, I'll go and look for her," Ian replied. He left the shelter very quickly.

James and Jessie glanced at each trying not to laugh. "I wonder if he has any Disney CDs in his collection too," Jessie said.

"Let's find out," James said as he picked up one of Ian's bags.

Meanwhile:
Ian found Lisa sitting in front of a tree looking freaked out. "Hey, what's up Lis?" he asked, sitting down beside her.

"I had a weird dream last night, and stuff from it keeps actually happening. I heard the song in it just before, I saw a similar waterfall and Chakotay turned into a monkey. I think I'm going nuts," Lisa replied.

"The third one seems weird, how much sleep did you get?" Ian asked.

"Not much, that dream was just too weird," Lisa replied.

"Why don't we just go for a walk or something, get your mind off it," Ian said.

"Sounds like a plan," Lisa said, standing up. Ian did the same, Lisa glanced at him with a raised eyebrow, "why do you have Upendi in your collection anyway?"

"It was a joke present, I swear," Ian replied quickly.

Day 24:
Kathryn Janeway's personal log Stardate 49690.1: Day 24 of our stay on the planet we named New Earth. I haven't got any closer to finding a cure for our illness, but a soak in the tub Chakotay built helps me think about any possible solutions. Plus it takes my mind off coffee... oh damn it.

James stepped out of the shelter, he then spotted the bath tub outside with Kathryn in it. He rushed back inside, slamming the door behind him.

"Woah that was a quick walk," Ian commented.

James tried to keep calm, "I know, just don't go outside. Janeway's in a bath, outdoors."

Ian and Jessie both stared at him in shock and a little disgust. "Oh my god, thanks for the warning," Ian said.

"Wait, you didn't see anything did you?" Jessie asked.

"No, I saw her head but we all know that's bad enough on its own," James replied.

"Woah, that's a real Valentine Day mood spoiler," Ian said.

Jessie looked confused, "ok two things. It's not Valentines Day. Secondly, what mood... Lisa is not here."

Ian pouted, "you didn't have to draw attention to it. Anyway it is Valentines Day."

"What happened with Lisa?" James asked.

Ian shrugged, "she hates Valentines Day."

"Don't blame her," Jessie muttered.

Ian groaned, "what is it with you women?"

"Well I'm sorry but you try and put up with lots of people giving out cards just for a laugh, every year," Jessie said.

"Jess, at least one of those guys actually liked you," James said, glancing at Ian briefly.

Ian blushed as Jessie glanced at him, "you sent me a card!?"

"Only one, James did too," Ian replied.

"I did not, I always thought Valentines Day was tacky," James said.

"Changing of the subject very quickly. Jess have you noticed that Chakotay's been making Janeway a lot of crap recently?" Ian asked.

"I did actually, so what?" Jessie replied.

"Maybe he likes her, we're going to win that bet," Ian said. He glanced in James' direction, "you had better get practising, you know like cooking, cleaning and a lot of other things."

Jessie smiled, "yeah, and there's one rich person thing I've always wanted to try. Feet massages."

"Lisa can give me a back one," Ian said, grinning in his usual way.

"Oh please, Chakotay does have a thing for Janeway yeah, but he's never going to tell her. He may act like a tough guy all the time, but he's a big softie when it comes to that. Why do you think he's getting her presents?" James said.

Ian folded his arms, "hmm where do you get that idea from? Oh wait, he's just like you."

"He is nothing like me!" James exclaimed.

"Not entirely, for one thing he's fat, with ugly greasy hair and he's got an ugly face," Jessie said. She noticed Ian and James looking at her. "And he likes Janeway, almost forgot about that one."

"You're damn right about that one, I hate her. You forgot something else, he's nothing like me," James said.

"Ok ok, he's nothing like you. What I meant is that he's too much of a chicken to tell Janeway he likes her, so he makes her pressies to give her a hint," Ian said.

"Oh please, I never did that to anyone," James said.

Jessie stood up, "oh yeah what about on my sixth birthday you got me a cute cuddly bear thing, even though you hated them."

"Um, that was just a birthday present. That doesn't count," James said.

"Besides, I doubt he had a crush at six yet still has it now, sixteen years later. I mean come on, how unrealistic is that," Ian commented.

"Ok fine I just mentioned that one cos I thought it was a sweet example. Problem with that one is that you're right Ian, kinda. That crush left ages ago didn't it?" Jessie said.

Ian laughed, "yeah right."

"I think we're missing the point here. Betting on Chakotay and Janeway was a stupid idea. No offense Ian, but you and Lisa are like bunnies," James said.

Jessie shuddered, "yuck bunnies."

James put a hand on her shoulder, "oops sorry."

"Bunnies, we haven't even..." Ian said, standing up.

"Ok, well you make out a lot," James said.

Ian smiled smugly, "that's just making out, plus you and Jess do it a lot too."

"No we don't," Jessie snapped.

"Sorry Jess you are right it's just we do more than Janeway and Chuckles do. You bet on the wrong people," James said.

Jessie rolled her eyes, "yeah like I could bet on myself. I mean Lisa is only a kid, so it would be wrong to bet on her."

Ian looked through the window, he shuddered as he turned back around. "She's still in there, looks like she's talking to herself."

"Maybe she's talking to Chakotay, duh," Jessie said. She quickly stood up and rushed over to the window.

James groaned, he sat back down on the nearest chair. "This is really worrying."

"It's ok Jamesy, from here we can only see a head," Ian said.

Meanwhile:
There was loud rustle in the nearby trees, Kathryn grabbed a towel before sitting up. "Chakotay, something's in the woods!" She climbed out of the bath with the towel around her.

Chakotay ran out of the shelter with a torch on his arm, and a phaser in his hand.

"Over there," Kathryn said, pointing towards a tree.

Chakotay pointed the torch towards it, he and Kathryn saw a monkey climbing around on it.

"It's a primate," Kathryn sighed in relief.

"I detected primate lifesigns here but I never seen one," Chakotay said.

"Hello there," Kathryn cooed. She and Chakotay stepped closer to the monkey. "I'm Kathryn, this is Chakotay. We've had to move into your neighbourhood, but I hope we can be friends." The monkey climbed out of sight. "Oh, maybe it'll come back."

"Hmm, looking for a pet?" Chakotay said questioningly.

"No, I just thought that he could help us. His species might have problems with insect bites too," Kathryn replied. She noticed Chakotay looking at her, he looked nervous.

"Um, I'm going back inside," Chakotay muttered. He headed back into the shelter.

Kathryn picked up a dressing gown, she quickly put it on and walked quickly into the shelter. "We've got to find more of these primate, we may be onto something important."

"Kathryn," Chakotay said. Kathryn glanced in his direction. "The Doctor worked for weeks trying to find a treatment for this disease."

"Yes," Kathryn said.

Chakotay leaned on the table, "You've been on it twelve hours a day, seven days a week since we got here and we're still no closer to a cure than we were the day we were infected."

"I'm not sure what you're getting at," Kathryn said.

Chakotay sighed, "my people have a saying. Even the eagle must know when to sleep, maybe it's time we all accept that."

"You mean quit, give up?" Kathryn said in disbelief.

"Why do you have to see it as a defeat? Maybe it's simply accepting what life as dealt us, finding the good in it," Chakotay said.

"There maybe a day when I'll come to that, Chakotay but I'm a long way from it right now. I need to keep looking," Kathryn said.

Chakotay nodded his head, he sat down in a nearby chair.

Day 25:
Kathryn walked out of the shelter, "ok who's up for more exploring?"

"Yeah ok," Ian said cheerfully.

Lisa glared at him, "no, I freaked out the last time."

"You've got to leave the area sometime. It's ok, I'm with you this time," Ian said.

Lisa sighed, "fine ok."

Kathryn smiled, she glanced at James and Jessie. "What about you two?"

"No, we're going to play Battleships for a little while," Jessie replied.

"Their lives are just so exciting there's just no room for exploring," Ian said sarcastically.

James shook his head, "ok are you ready?"

"Just a minute," Jessie muttered. She finished fiddling with her board, "right I'm ready to beat you."

"All right, you go first," James said.

"B12," Jessie said.

"Missed," James said smugly.

"It's only the first move, stop showing off," Jessie grumbled.

James shrugged, "I know I'm sorry. C8."

Jessie gasped, "what... you're cheating!"

"Let's go before they get into a wrestling match involving knives," Ian whispered to the others. Kathryn nodded, Lisa looked disappointed.

"I wouldn't say no to a wrestling match, I mean it's so obvious they'd only do it to get close to each other," Lisa commented.

Kathryn looked disgusted, "I really hope not. Now let's go, they're not going to fight."

Lisa pouted, the three left the area. Before they got very far the monkey jumped down in front of them. It started pointing to the left.

Kathryn knelt down in front of it, "aaaw, what are you trying to tell us little fella?"

Ian leaned in closer to Lisa, "hey let's ditch her."

Lisa nodded, "ok." She and Ian rushed off, Kathryn didn't notice.

"You're spelling a word, what is it. Oh my god, you know where there's some coffee?" Kathryn squealed. The monkey ran off, she followed him.

Not long later:
Lisa and Ian were now wandering around a cave, looking very lost. Lisa glared at Ian, she slapped him on the arm.

"Ow, what was that for?" Ian moaned, he rubbed his arm.

"You know what it was for," Lisa grumbled.

"Look the cave looked tiny, I didn't think we would get lost," Ian said.

"No, you said we should just make out and worry about it later," Lisa said.

Ian looked confused, "no I didn't, I only thought it."

Lisa shook her head, "yeah right."

Meanwhile:
Chakotay was busy preparing what looked like a salad. Nearby Jessie and James were still playing Battleships. "I really hate you, I'm sure you're cheating," Jessie moaned, slamming the lid of the board down.

"How can I cheat at Battleships?" James questioned.

"Well you're a little taller, maybe you can see over the lid," Jessie muttered.

"I couldn't I swear," James said.

"Oh for crying out loud," Chakotay groaned.

James and Jessie looked in his direction. "Stay out of this tattooed head," Jessie snapped.

"Jess, it's only a game. Stop taking it so seriously," James said.

Chakotay shook his head. Kathryn was now heading their way with coffee marks all over her face.

"Chakotay, I found coffee beans. Come on we'd better collect them all," Kathryn said.

"Kathryn, where is Lisa and Ian?" Chakotay asked.

Kathryn glanced around her, "uhoh."

"Come on, we'd better look for them. James, Jessie, are you coming?" Chakotay said.

"What about the Game of Life, you can't really cheat at that," James said.

"Ok fine," Jessie said.

"Oh forget it, let's go," Chakotay grumbled.

The cave:
Lisa and Ian were sitting down against the cave wall. "No it's not," Ian moaned.

"Not what?" Lisa asked.

"You said it was my fault," Ian replied.

"No I didn't, I only thought it... oh god," Lisa stuttered.

"What?" Ian said.

"Think of something," Lisa said.

Ian looked confused, "um why?"

Lisa slapped him across the head, "I'm not crazy you idiot."

Ian gasped, "oh my god, we're telepathic."

"You're damn right for once. I don't get how we're like this though," Lisa said.

"Maybe it's the cave," Ian said.

"Right, give me a scientific explanation to prove that idea," Lisa muttered.

"I'm not a technobabble person," Ian said.

Lisa pulled a disgusted face, she slapped Ian again, "is that all you ever think about!"

Ian looked nervous, "no I swear."

Lisa shook her head, "good god."

Meanwhile:
James was pacing back and forth, Jessie came out of the shelter with a box. "Found it... hey, what's up?"

James stopped pacing, he turned towards Jessie, "do you get the feeling something's up?"

"Nope, it must be your imagination," Jessie replied, shaking her head.

"Oh good," James said.

Jessie put the box on the ground, while keeping an eye on something far in front of her. "Um, what's that?"

James turned around, he spotted several of the coffee beans Kathryn picked up. "Coffee beans."

"What did I say, I knew something was up," Jessie said.

James glanced back at her, "no, that's what I said."

Jessie sighed as she sat down on the ground, "come on, let's just play."

James shrugged, "ok." He knelt down, he and Jessie started to put the board together.

The cave:
Lisa and Ian were sitting in silence looking bored to tears. Lisa slapped Ian on the leg again, "what did I tell you about that?"

"I was just testing to see if it was still working," Ian muttered.

"Fine," Lisa said.

Ian glanced briefly at her, he pulled a face. "What!?"

Lisa looked at him, "you stay out of my head."

"You don't stay out of mine. I can't help what I think about, stop slagging me off in your head," Ian grumbled.

Lisa rolled her eyes, "as long as you stop listening in on me."

Ian gasped, "you little whore."

Lisa's eyes widened, "I didn't think that."

Ian stood up, "I can't believe it, why did you do it? Who was it, and when?"

"Calm down Ian, I didn't want you to know for a good reason," Lisa said.

"Who was that creep?" Ian asked.

"Ian, I did it for you," Lisa replied.

Ian laughed, "oh thanks, you hate me that much, do you?"

Lisa covered her face, "no I don't hate you. I knew you would have a problem with dating a sixteen year old because of the whole inexperience and stuff..."

"I didn't have a problem with that," Ian said.

Lisa stood up, "oh my god, you're a freak."

"Excuse me," Ian muttered.

"You don't have a problem with inexperience because you had the same problem as I did," Lisa said.

"No I've been with loads of girls, really. This isn't the point. I can't believe you'd cheat on me," Ian said.

"Believe me, if I'd known earlier that you were in the same situation as me I wouldn't have," Lisa said.

"But I wasn't... that doesn't matter. I can't believe this, my last girlfriend cheated on me too..." Ian stuttered. He walked away as quickly as he could.

Meanwhile, outside the cave:
"I hear them, they're in the cave," Chakotay said. He stood at the entrance, "Ian... Lisa!"

"Are you sure? I don't hear anything," Kathryn asked.

"Not now, the voices have stopped," Chakotay said.

Ian emerged from the cave, he pushed passed the two and headed off on his own. "Ok, Lisa must be there too," Kathryn said.

Chakotay sighed, "Lisa!"

"I'm coming! God, calm down!" Lisa's voice echoed through the cave.             

Meanwhile:
James and Jessie were now sitting on the grass playing the Game of Life, a newer version using Euro's (oh come on, they look like fake money anyway).

Jessie moved her car piece, she growled at where she stopped, "damn it. I hate these kids, can I swap them for money?"

"I don't think there's an adoption place anywhere on this board," James replied.

"Oh god, I'm turning into my mum. Fine you're the banker, have your bloody twenty euro," Jessie said, dumping a twenty note on the board.

"I'll tell you what, I'll take the kids and I'll beat them for you," James said.

"What is this game, the Game of Turning Into Your Parents?" Jessie said. She took out one of the pieces from the car, "I'm a slutty little cow."

James smiled as he picked up one of his own, he put it next to the church, "ok he's dead."

"What about your mum?" Jessie questioned.

"I know the kids appear fast in this game but I'm sure over fifteen years will go by after a few more moves," James replied.

"I just realised, you only have one kid. Do you want swap him for my two twins?" Jessie asked.

"No, one of them's a posh bitch, just one," James replied.

"Hmm I dunno, I wanna get rid of her," Jessie said.

"Why don't you make her marry um..." James muttered as he looked through all the unused 'people'. "What about this one, he has really big hair."

Jessie turned her head to the left briefly, "yeah he's ugly, put him in the church."

Later that night:
Chakotay was staring at Kathryn as she drank cup after cup of coffee. Eventually she ran out, "ah, that's so nice."

"Uh huh," Chakotay muttered like he was braindead.

"I wonder what was wrong with Ian, he seemed very upset," Kathryn said.

"Dunno," Chakotay muttered.

Meanwhile:
Jessie sat down next to Ian on the sofa, she handed a bowl to him. "Icecream, usually works for me when I'm upset."

"Thanks," Ian muttered.

"How are you holding up?" James asked carefully.

Ian glanced at him, "I can't believe she slept with another guy. I mean my last girlfriend cheated on me by kissing another guy, this is a lot worse."

"Ian, Lisa's not good enough for you. You could do a lot better than her," Jessie said.

"I'd agree with you normally, but we're stuck here," James said.

Jessie glared at him, "shh."

"No he's right, I'm not dumb Jess. I can't go out with a girl I can't trust, I can't and won't go out with Janeway, and you're taken already," Ian said.

"I know this sounds unbelievable now but you may learn to trust her again," James said.

"Oh please, if Jessie cheated on you, would you go out with her again?" Ian asked.

"Hey, I'm right here," Jessie grumbled.

Ian ignored her. "I don't know," James replied.

Jessie looked annoyed, "what do you mean by I don't know?"

"Look it's hard to know, I'm never going to be in that situation unless you decide that you like Ian," James replied.

"Or Chakotay," Ian said.

Jessie shuddered, "yuck."

Ian shook his head, "you see, she's the loyal type. Why couldn't I find a girlfriend like that?"

"I don't know, just eat your icecream. That may cheer you up," Jessie replied.

"Yeah, I know it's a girlie thing, cos Jessie did it for Danny once or twice, but we should watch a film or something," James said.

"Boys don't watch films, that I didn't know," Jessie said.

"You know what I mean, when Danny broke up with boyfriends you two would watch girlie movies to cheer her up," James said.

Jessie smiled, "oh yeah, Get Over It was good."

"No it's ok, I'm just going to bed," Ian said.

James looked at his watch, "it's only seven."

"I'm tired," Ian muttered. He went over to his bed.

"Well if you're not tired, you can hang out in my room until you are," Jessie said quietly. She went into the bedroom.

James went towards the door, "are you sure you're going to be ok?"

"Yeah, thanks," Ian muttered. James went into the bedroom, closing the door quietly behind him.

****THE END****

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