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Episode Synopsis
After the Kazon steal a transporter piece, Chakotay goes to retrieve it. Meanwhile Neelix and Tom come to blows over Kes.

Written
4th, 10th, 13th & 14th June 2003
19th - 22nd June 2003

Edited for Reboot
11th October 2012

Episode Based In
November 2371 (early season 2)

Sickbay:
Samantha ran through the main door holding Naomi in her arms, who by the way was crying her eyes out. "Doctor!" Sam screamed.

The Doctor, Kes, and Jessie looked in her direction. Kes went over to her. "What's wrong?"

"I was hoping you'd tell me, she won't stop crying," Sam cried.

Kes pulled a face, "I think she needs changing."

"Wow, how did you know that?" Sam asked.

Kes and everyone who was conscious held their noses. "It's pretty obvious," Kes mumbled.

"Oh," Sam said, blushing violently. She rushed out of the room.

Meanwhile:
Randy was standing in front of a large window inside a bright bedroom. The sunlight was shining straight through the window and reflecting off the nearby computer monitor.

"I must say, you lived in a nice cheerful place," Randy said. He turned away from the window, then folded his arms.

"I can't say you help make it anymore cheerful," James said. He stood closer to the bed near the window.

"Now now, let's not be too hasty. I haven't done anything to you just yet," Randy said.

"Just yet, sounds promising," James said.

Randy smiled, "it does, doesn't it?" He made his way around the bed. "You see, you have something I don't. I can't understand how, I mean I'm more handsome, and much taller. Did I mention I'm more hunky?"

"In your dreams you are maybe," James said.

"Ah, you don't get it. This is your dream. Oh and by the way, you can't say that I'm not taller than you shortie," Randy said.

"You know there's a handbook for all the bully wannabes. It has all the insults you need to use, so you get your ass kicked by people like me," James said.

"Careful, you can't do anything where you are now. I can just press a button and you're dead. It would be a lot easier for me, but I prefer the long and hard way," Randy said.

"What are you on about?" James asked.

Randy looked at his watch, "oh dear, time for the next nightmare. I kinda spent too much time yapping, I do that sometimes." He headed for the bedroom door.

"Wait, what were you talking about?" James asked.

"You'll find out, if you live long enough," Randy replied. He stepped out of the room.

Sickbay:
Tom strutted his way into the room, he went over to Kes who was working. "Hey babe, what you doing?"

Kes rolled her eyes, "nothing but I'll find something." She walked off.

Tom cringed, "strike one." He went over to Jessie. "Hey babe, how's the corpse? Not moving good, ok me and you tonight at eight."

Jessie narrowed her eyes, she pulled herself off the biobed and then kneed Tom in a sensitive place. "Sure, we can do that again," she said as she went back on the biobed.

"Strike two," Tom squeaked. He fell onto the ground. Eventually he managed to crawl his way out of the room. Randy passed him and gave him an odd glare.

Kes went back over to the console she was at before. "What can I do for you?"

"Oh nothing, just visiting," Randy replied. He made his way over to Jessie. "Here again?"

Jessie glanced up at him, "yeah of course. It's better than duty."

"I don't get it, how is it better than duty?" Randy said questioningly.

"An odd few minutes of the Doctor, all day with Janeway, no comparison," Jessie replied.

"Ah right, it's nothing to do with the other company then," Randy said.

"Well actually, I said it in a way you'd understand. I'm here in case James wakes up too," Jessie said.

Randy sat down on the nearby biobed. "That I don't get, won't the Doctor or Kes tell you when or if he does."

"When he does, yeah they would but I'd rather be the first one he sees. I don't want him to think I don't care about him," Jessie said.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but if it were me in the coma and I woke up, I wouldn't be happy to see you. I'd get the impression you wasted ages sitting nearby me," Randy said.

"Um that doesn't make any sense," Jessie muttered.

"When I said wasted ages, I meant he wouldn't be happy that you hung around so much when you should have been living. You know like eating, sleeping etc," Randy said.

"Oh I get it. You're right, he probably would but I still would rather be here," Jessie said.

Randy shook his head, "there's been no change in months and I doubt you've had any fun during that time. Why don't I take you out?"

Jessie sighed, "I dunno, what if he..."

"Just think about yourself for a change, I think you earned that. Just a friendly meal in the Mess Hall. What do you say?" Randy said questioningly.

"I guess I am a bit hungry. Ok but just for ten minutes," Jessie said.

"Thirty," Randy said with a smile.

"Fifteen," Jessie said.

"Twenty, my final offer," Randy said.

Jessie sighed, "ok ok fine."

A little while later:
"I feel like Leola tonight, oh Leola tonight," Neelix sang as he strolled down the corridor.

Neelix heard Kes' voice not far behind him, "Tom will you leave me alone." He quickly turned a corner and stopped there. Kes then came into sight.

"What are you talking about, I just need to go down this way," Tom protested as he came into view also.

"Why did you think 'ah there's Kes, I think I'll follow her' then?" Kes said angrily.

"Damn you telepathic girl," Tom muttered under his breath.

"Tom, I don't like you, just give it up!" Kes snapped. She disappeared around a different corridor.

Tom sighed, "damn."

Neelix quickly turned back around then continued on his way. Tom turned the same corner a little while later.

The Mess Hall:
Danny joined Jessie and Randy at one of the tables. Danny snatched a chip off Jessie's plate.

"Hey, get your own," Jessie moaned in response.

"Sorry, a girl's gotta eat," Danny said innocently.

"Aren't I a girl too?" Jessie protested. Danny grinned.

"You look like a pretty decent one to me," Randy commented. He stood up, then headed towards the galley.

"Hmm, they don't call him Randy for nothing," Danny giggled. She sat down in Randy's chair.

"Thanks Dan, that makes me feel better," Jessie muttered.

"Oh it's my pleasure," Danny said.

Jessie sighed, "you'd think he'd try to hide that little crush he has, it'll make it easier to hang out."

"You're kidding right? James was kinda the same right?" Danny said.

"Sure whatever, but he's going out with me now. No way am I dating a guy that big, and kinda weird," Jessie said.

Danny giggled, "yeah you'd need a box to stand on to kiss him."

"Oh come on, quit it. You know what I mean though, it gets awkward whenever he says stuff like that," Jessie said.

"Jess, he's just trying to win you over. Remember, he's telepathic so he obviously knows you and James are just practising dating. Unless you're not doing that," Danny said.

Jessie's eyes widened, "he's telepathic?"

"I thought you knew," Danny said.

"Well I guess I didn't," Jessie said.

Danny glanced back and forth nervously. "Ooh my bad. Look just tell him you're not interested."

Kes came over to the table, she sat down in between Danny and Jessie. "If he's telepathic he should already know that," Jessie said.

"Already know what?" Kes asked.

"That Jessie's only interested in practising with her coma boyfriend, than actually going for the real thing with a guy who really likes her," Danny said.

"Yeah but there's nothing wrong with that? I'm no where near ready for the real thing," Jessie said.

Danny grinned cheekily, "it's not like you have barely any experience in making out and the occasional lovers quarrel." Jessie rolled her eyes.

"What more is there to it anyway?" Randy asked as he came back to the table. He now had a glass in his hand.

The three girls glanced up at him. "Oops, how much did you hear?" Jessie asked nervously.

"Well let's just say I don't insult anybody's name like somebody did," Randy replied.

Danny pretended to look shocked, "Kes, how could you!"

"Don't put the blame on me, I've only been here a minute if you're lucky," Kes said.

"Soo, you heard everything," Jessie said.

"I sure did. I'm not bothered really. You can continue to date your shorty best friend, it doesn't bother me that much anymore," Randy said, with a bit of deception in his voice.

"Uh huh really," Jessie muttered. She glanced at Danny and Kes, "shorty?"

"Jessie, it isn't Kes' fault she's small, plus she's still growing," Danny said. She looked at everyone expecting some kind of laughter, she didn't get any.

Kes raised her eyebrow, "thanks Danny."

"Look I'm going to go now. Oh and before I forget I just want to say, what kind of tart even thinks of sleeping with her best friend anyway?" Randy said angrily. He stormed out of the room.

Kes glanced in Jessie's direction. Danny shrugged, "his parents should have called him Angry." Her eyes widened suddenly, she glanced towards Jessie. "Wait, is what he said true?"

Jessie blushed a little, but looked a little confused, "um well, not exactly."

"Not exactly?" Kes said questioningly.

"You know, it was earlier when we were talking about me not being ready for the real thing yet. I just thought of something then just briefly," Jessie said.

"And?" Danny said.

"For crying out loud, it was nothing. I just thought something like, how far would a practise relationship have to go. That's it," Jessie said.

"Remember what happened to me, Jess. Terry and I were a practising couple too and look how that turned out," Danny said.

"Danny just forget it, it'll probably never happen. It just reminds me of that dream I had," Jessie said.

"What dream?" Kes asked.

Danny leaned on the table to get closer to Kes. "When we were about 11, I told her how our species has kids and..."

Jessie raised her eyebrow, "not exactly. You just told me about it, you didn't tell me that it was related to having kids. James was the one who had to tell me that."

Danny stared blankly, she laughed, "oh yeah that's right."

"The dream," Kes said.

"Oh right. Well Jessie got totally put off having kids because of this dream she had," Danny said. She glanced at Jessie like she wanted her to finish the story.

Jessie groaned. Danny half rolled her eyes, she headbutted the table once. "Come closer, I'll tell you." She whispered a few things in Kes' ear.

"Oh I see, wait, that doesn't sound like him," Kes said.

"That's what I thought, but it still puts her off completely," Danny said.

"You're right, he is strong but..." Jessie said.

"But?" Danny said questioningly.

"I've been seeing him for months, he's fine when it comes to stuff like that so maybe you're right," Jessie said.

Danny looked worried, "what am I saying? I should be warning you about the dangers. What if he..."

"I get it, but James isn't Terry. Plus you barely knew him compared to how much I know James. If anyone strays after something like that, it would be most likely me," Jessie said.

Danny nodded, "I see your point. When James wakes up I'll give him the warning."

"No way, you're not telling him. Just because I feel differently, doesn't mean I want to rush into it. I'll tell him at a later time," Jessie said.

"Ok when you do, then can I warn him?" Danny asked sweetly.

"Ohno," Kes groaned. She placed her hand over her face.

"What?" Jessie said.

"Tom's come in with Harry, he's been following me for days," Kes muttered.

"Oh I get it, I've been there," Jessie said.

Tom and Harry sat down at a nearby table, with plates of what looked like spaghetti bolognese.

In: "Janeway to Kim, report to the bridge. Oh and bring some coffee. Janeway out."

Harry groaned as he stood back up. "Have a nice lunch," he said teasingly. He walked away.

"Look, I'll see you two later," Kes whispered. She stood up and left the room.

Neelix stormed his way over to Tom's table. "Do you think I'm stupid or something?"

"Huh, what are you talking about?" Tom said innocently.

"You two, sitting with your back's to each other trying to act like there's nothing going on. Is that supposed to fool me?" Neelix said.

Tom groaned and put down his fork. "Look, there's nothing going on. I swear."

"Liar," Neelix grumbled. He pushed Harry's plate into Tom's chest.

"Hey!" Tom exclaimed. He stood up with the other plate in his hand. "Eat spaghetti bolognese furball!" He pushed his own plate into Neelix's face.

"Eeew, it's got hair in it now," Danny groaned.

"Oh, that's the secret ingredient," Neelix said cheerfully. Jessie and Danny cringed as they both pushed their plates away.

"Hello, we're fighting here," Tom said.

"Oh yeah," Neelix muttered. He punched Tom in the chest, Tom punched him back. Neelix pushed him onto the ground, the two started rolling around not really hurting each other though. Everyone gathered around to watch.

"Rooting for Neelix?" Jessie asked with a grin. Danny nodded with a cheesy grin on her face.

In: "Janeway to Paris and Neelix."

"Damn it, where's James when you need him to bust Tom's nose?" Danny moaned. Jessie tried to suppress a smirk.

"Er yes Captain?" both Tom and Neelix stuttered.

In: "Just checking on you. Oh to hell with it, can either of you stop by the bridge with some coffee. I know you're in the Mess Hall."

"No we're busy, Paris out. Now, where were we?" Tom said. He and Neelix started 'fighting' again.

Later Holodeck One:
"Does the writers even know what hover ball is?" Chakotay asked. A ball hit him right in the face.

"Nope probably not, it's still good enough for me," B'Elanna replied.

Chakotay let go of the ball in mid air, it started floating. He hit it across the net. "It seems very volley ball to me."

The pair passed the ball to each other for a while. Eventually it hit Chakotay in the eye.

In: "Janeway to Chakotay."

"No, no coffee!" Chakotay yelled.

In: "No, that's not what it is this time, but that would be nice. Just come to the bridge."

The bridge:
Chakotay stepped onto the bridge, "this better not be about coffee, remember."

"It isn't. There's a thingy out there with a Federation signature, though Janeway did think it was a coffee jar in space," Danny said from the helm.

"This is cool, we're finally going home," Harry giggled. Everyone glanced at him looking worried.

"Ookay, like that'll happen in the second season. Maybe in the seventh or eighth though," Jessie commented.

"Way to ruin the mood Jessie. At least give this ray of useless hope a chance," Chakotay said.

"Who votes we get stupidly close to it?" Kathryn asked. Everyone raised their hands, Tuvok just raised his eyebrow. "Ok Danny, do your stuff."

Jessie cringed, "phew, that was close."

Danny glanced backwards innocently, "did someone say do your stuff to me?"

Jessie put her hand over her face, she groaned. "Ohno, not the Shakira dance, Dan... anything but that."

Danny grinned, "why not?"

Chakotay stared blankly at Danny, and then Jessie. "Anyway."

"I meant, set a course for the signal," Kathryn said.

"Didn't notice, aye Captain," Danny said.

A little while later:
"Well so far so jinxed," Danny commented.

"I hate it when someone does that," Harry muttered.

"Hey there's a Kazon ship coming out of that nebula," Danny said, she looked around innocently. "Should I have kept quiet?"

"Nah, it's not like we've seen the Kazon that much anyway. They can't be that good villains," Jessie replied. The ship shook several times.

"A hole is appearing in our shields," Tuvok said.

"Change the frequency or something," Kathryn ordered.

"Aye Captain," Tuvok said.

Chakotay shook his head, "nope, they're still firing through our shields. Wait, this computer actually does ship things, cool."

Kathryn glanced at the computer, "no that's just Space Invaders, and where is your shield things?"

Chakotay thumped the monitor, "damn it, every time!"

"Captain, the hole is several metres wide," Tuvok said.

"And we have another ship coming for us," Danny said.

"This seems familiar somehow," Chakotay muttered.

Kathryn raised her eyebrow, "it's Space Invaders Chakotay, of course it seems familiar."

"No, I mean what's happening now," Chakotay said.

"That little ships going for the hole in the shields. My quarters better not be there," Danny said.

"Or any coffee," Kathryn said. Everyone stared at her with the same annoyed expression. "Ok ok, all hands brace for impact. Wait, shouldn't I activate the commlink first to do that?"

The ship violently shook, consoles exploded as usual. When everything calmed down, Jessie fixed her hair and then glanced at Janeway. "Is this why so many unknowns die, you never warn them about the consoles?"

"Jessie, Jessie, they stay near them anyway. They're like lemmings," Danny replied.

All the unknown crewmembers ran into the turbolift crying their eyes out. "Ookay," Jessie muttered.

"Intruder alert, Deck 6. That's right, right?" Tuvok said. Everyone shrugged.

"Who cares, send a security team," Kathryn ordered.

Tuvok nodded, he went towards the turbolift as he tapped his commbadge. "Team Two meet me at Deck 6, Cargo Bay."

"Oh, so that's where one bay is," Danny said.

"Meh, don't get used to it. It'll probably move," Jessie said.

Sickbay:
"How many times do I have to tell you Samantha, you have to figure something's out yourself. What would happen if we weren't here?" the Doctor said angrily.

"But why is she crying!?" Samantha screamed.

"Probably because the ships getting attacked, or something," the Doctor replied.

"But... but," Samantha stuttered.

"Ensign, I have wounded to attend to. Please, get out of my office," the Doctor groaned.

Kes and Lee were meanwhile treating several unknown crewmembers. Both of them were so busy they didn't notice James' biobed making strange beeping noises.

The bridge:
"The Kazon have transported aboard the other ship," Chakotay said.

"Beam them back," Kathryn ordered.

"Can't, they took a transporter module with them," Chakotay said.

"And they're leaving," Danny said.

"Tractor beam," Kathryn commanded.

"Got them," Chakotay said.

"They're hailing," Harry said.

Kathryn stood up, she put her hands on her hips. "On screen."

A Kazon appeared on the viewscreen, he smirked in an evil fashion. "Captain, Maj Cullah of the Kazon Nistrim."

"I remember you Cullah," Kathryn said.

"I bloody don't," Jessie said. Danny nodded.

"Oh, this is the first time we've seen you in this series technically," Chakotay said.

"Forget that," Kathryn snapped. She stepped one step closer to the viewscreen. "That transporter module you've just stolen was specifically designed for this ship. You'll find it very difficult to attach it to your systems."

Danny giggled rudely. Jessie glanced in her direction, "oh you've got to be kidding me."

"I've had help updating our technology since we last met," Cullah said. He clicked his fingers. Seska, looking a bit Cardassian now, came onto the screen.

Everyone put on their dramatic pose, Chakotay stood up. "Seska?"

"No it's the Borg Queen, idiot," Jessie groaned.

"Give it a rest," Chakotay said. Jessie glared at him.

"Hello everyone," Seska said.

"I should have known you were involved," Chakotay muttered.

"Yes you should have. Just like I knew you'd try to stop us with a tractor beam. You've always been so predictable," Seska said.

"Captain, technobabble alert," Tuvok said.

"Crap, I hate it when that happens after a technobabble full episode," Kathryn muttered.

"Oh well, we'll be on our way. Oh by the way Chakotay, lovely to see you again," Seska said. She blew Chakotay a kiss before she and Cullah disappeared off the viewscreen.

"They've gone to warp, and I'm sure that kiss hit me," Danny said while pulling a face.

Sickbay:
Everything had calmed down, Kes and the Doctor were now talking to each other in his office. Lee came into the main room through the main door, he glanced at the three biobeds and then finally the end one.

"Uhoh... DOC!" Lee yelled.

The Doctor and Kes ran into the room. "What, what?" the Doctor panicked.

"I left the room for a minute or two, and well James is gone," Lee stuttered.

The Doctor pulled a puzzled face, "coma patients don't just get up and go for a walk right after waking up."

"Well James did wake up on the other Voyager, he got straight up then too," Kes said.

"Thanks for the warning," the Doctor muttered.

Meanwhile:
James was going down one of the corridors like he'd never been there before. He pushed passed several people accidentally, one was Randy. He stared icily at him, James stared back looking confused.

The bridge:
"Captain, there's two adrift objects out there," Harry said.

"What is it?" Kathryn asked.

"Not sure, putting it on screen," Harry replied.

The viewscreen changed to show two big dots floating around. "Computer widen the angle," Kathryn ordered. The two big dots turned into two Kazon men. Everyone stared blankly.

"Doesn't anybody know not to break windows on a spaceship?" Danny said jokingly.

"Danny, just stop trying," Jessie muttered. Danny pulled a face at her.

Engineering:
B'Elanna and Chakotay were talking nearby one of the stations near the warp core. "How is it your fault?" B'Elanna asked.

"I should have known she was a spy, and well everything," Chakotay replied.

"It's just because she dated you, right?" B'Elanna said.

"Why do you think that?" Chakotay asked.

"Well I didn't know she was a Cardassian, so in a way you're blaming me too," B'Elanna replied.

"Well at least I know who my friends are," Chakotay said sarcastically.

B'Elanna shook her head, "that's not what I meant."

"Yeah I know. Can you keep me informed?" Chakotay said.

"Sure," B'Elanna said.

"Thanks," Chakotay muttered. He turned around and headed for the main door. When he stepped through the door he bumped into James. "What the, are you sleep walking?"

James just stared blankly at him. "Oh god I forgot you were this stupid and annoying."

Chakotay groaned, he looked up at the ceiling. "It could have reformed him, but noooo."

"Ookay, I'll think I'll just leave you to it," James muttered.

"Does the doc know you're up?" Chakotay asked.

"You'd think so, since he did treat me. He must have walked off or something afterwards. Speaking of which, the Leda... is it gone?" James said questioningly.

"Yes and it's been gone for, let me think, three months," Chakotay replied.

James stared blankly at him again, "what?"

"I hate to be the one to say it, but you've been in a coma. It's November now," Chakotay said.

"Son of a bitch," James muttered.

Chakotay shrugged, "you think you've got it bad, I've got Seska to deal with."

"Seska? Great, what's happened now?" James asked.

Later, the Conference Room:
Kathryn sat down in her chair, she was just about to take a sip of her coffee when she spotted some empty chairs. "Wait, there's people missing. Where's Kes, and Chakotay?"

"Sickbay called earlier, James woke up and wandered out of the room without anyone noticing. She's looking for him," Tuvok replied.

Jessie and Danny both stared at Tuvok. "Thanks for telling us Dumbo," Danny grumbled.

"Well I guess that's good news. Where's Chakotay then?" Kathryn asked.

"I don't know, I last saw him in Engineering," B'Elanna replied.

Kathryn sighed, "computer locate Commander Chakotay."

"Commander Chakotay is not aboard the ship," the computer said.

Everyone glanced at the person next to them. Kes wandered into the room, she took her seat. "I can't find James anywhere. Soo, what's going on here, staring contest?"

"Computer, locate James Taylor," Kathryn said.

"James Taylor is not aboard the ship," the computer said.

"Well this is fun," Harry commented.

Meanwhile:
"I can't believe you dragged me with you on this mission," James was saying.

Chakotay groaned, "I didn't, you dragged yourself here."

James glanced in his direction looking a bit too innocent for his own good, "oh yeah that's right."

Chakotay rolled his eyes. "Look if I stopped you coming with me you would have told somebody. I can't afford that to happen."

"What does money have to do with this, is this a bet?" James said.

"Oh great, I knew I should have took Tuvok. He doesn't even try to come up with dumb comments," Chakotay said.

"It would be a pretty dull trip if he was here," James commented.

"I'd rather have it dull," Chakotay muttered. He turned his chair around, "why are you here anyway?"

"I dunno, I still have a score to settle with her. Also after waking up from comas I always feel in a 'beat someone up' mood," James replied.

"You're going to beat up Seska?" Chakotay muttered.

"No, maybe some Kazon," James said.

"I don't see what kind of score you need to settle with her anyway. And by the way, how often do you get in comas?" Chakotay asked.

"That one was my third, and longest so far," James replied. Chakotay raised his eyebrow. "Seska... well she was a bitch to me."

"I wonder why," Chakotay said.

James folded his arms, "you know I'm sure I still need to get you back for punching me."

"Oh you are by being here," Chakotay said.

"You're supposed to be nice to coma patients, don't you know?" James said.

"Oh come on, you know I'm just being like this cos having you here really ruins parts of my plan," Chakotay said.

"How am I doing that?" James asked.

"You'll see when I tell you it. Just do as your told, if that function is in your brain somewhere," Chakotay replied.

"Can I beat something up?" James asked.

"Well I don't need you to, but that will help my part in the late part of the plan. Go on then," Chakotay replied.

Deck 11:
"How did Chakotay manage to take a shuttle out without us noticing?" Kathryn asked, as she and Tuvok were going down the corridor.

"He must have disrupted the sensors before he left," Tuvok replied. They both stepped inside Engineering.

"Great, first Seska now Chakotay," Kathryn muttered. They headed over to B'Elanna.

"And James," B'Elanna commented.

"We do not know for certain that he's with Commander Chakotay," Tuvok said.

"Yes we do. A member of my staff saw Chakotay and James talking not long before the computer reported them missing," B'Elanna said.

"Well that's much better," Kathryn mumbled.

"The device thing is gone too," B'Elanna said.

"Look, if you want me to swear just say so," Kathryn grumbled.

"Um, no thanks," B'Elanna said as she glanced towards Tuvok.

"It would appear they are both going after Seska," Tuvok said.

"Most probably, Sherlock," B'Elanna said.

"You were with Chakotay before he left, did he say anything?" Kathryn said questioningly.

"Just that he blames himself for what happened. He seemed determined to stop her," B'Elanna replied.

"If we follow Commander Chakotay we may risk an armed conflict with the Kazon," Tuvok said.

Kathryn sighed, "this is why coffee was invented." She walked away. Tuvok raised his eyebrow, B'Elanna groaned.

The Ready Room:
Kathryn was once again drinking coffee by the jar load. The door chimed. "Come in," Kathryn called.

B'Elanna and Jessie slowly walked in, both looking nervous.

"Want some coffee?" Kathryn asked.

"Oh yeah, I want to be you, you're my role model," Jessie said sarcastically.

"Really?" Kathryn said happily.

"No I was using sarcasm. You know it's spelt S A R C A S M," Jessie said.

Kathryn laughed, "that's a nice word baby slut."

"Um Captain, I'm here to see serious sober Janeway. Is she here somewhere?" B'Elanna quickly said.

Jessie glanced at her looking annoyed, "that's not how you do it." She stepped closer to Kathryn. "Captain um, James and Chakotay you'll be nice to them, won't you?"

"They've been bad boys, they need a slapped bum," Kathryn said, in a fake serious voice.

"Have more coffee," Jessie said.

"Don't mind if I do," Kathryn giggled. She drank down two more cups.

"How about now?" Jessie said questioningly.

"Aaaw, sure I'll be nice to them. I'll give them a nice big hug when we get them back," Kathryn replied.

"Great let's go," B'Elanna said. She turned to leave but Jessie grabbed her arm.

"No, why be that cruel!" Jessie stuttered.

B'Elanna rolled her eyes, she dragged Jessie out of the room.

The shuttle:
"We're almost there, power down," Chakotay said.

"You're at that console," James said.

"Oh right," Chakotay said. He worked at the station, "crap, did you send the beacon?"

"No," James replied.

"But I told you too, you bloody idiot!" Chakotay yelled.

"Chill, I was joking," James said.

"Well you sounded serious," Chakotay grumbled.

"That's a first," James said.

Kazon ship:
"Hey look at this," Maj Cullah said. Seska went to his side.

"I don't think so," Seska said. She worked at the station. "It's him, I know it's him."

"Who?" Cullah said.

Seska smiled, "he knows we can't detect ships that close."

"Who!" Cullah said loudly.

"Open a channel, all frequencies," Seska commanded.

"To who!" Cullah exclaimed.

"Just do it, he'll hear me," Seska said.

The shuttle:
"Come on, it's there somewhere," Chakotay snapped.

"Maybe if you stop bugging me, I'll find it," James muttered.

In: "Hello Chakotay, clever maneuvering but I'm not going to let you spoil all my hard work."

"Damn it," Chakotay muttered. The shuttle flashed a few times.

"I think they see us Chuckles," James said.

"Ok that's fine, we can still do this," Chakotay said. The side of his console exploded.

"Not now," James said.

Chakotay glared at him, "fine, you still in the mood to beat up Kazon?"

"Always," James replied.

"Good," Chakotay said.

Kazon ship:
"We have him," Seska said.

"Bring him into the bay," Cullah said. He and two Kazons left the room. Seska smiled.

Cullah and the Kazons ran into the shuttle. No one was inside. Cullah pulled out something that looked like a remote. "Cullah to bridge, no one's here."

There was a thud from behind them all. Cullah turned around. "Sir, there is," one Kazon said from the ground. He pulled himself up.

"Where did he go?" Cullah asked.

"Outside," the Kazon replied.

"Go, you idiots!" Cullah yelled.

Meanwhile, the bridge:
Chakotay was pointing a phaser at Seska's face. "Lovely to see you again." He handed the phaser to her. She snatched it out of his hands.

Meanwhile again:
Cullah and the Kazons reached a dead end, they all raised their guns. "Turn around human," Cullah growled.

James turned around. "That's not the one who hit me," one Kazon said, looking embarrassed.

"Wuss," Cullah muttered.

"I'm bored," James muttered. He kicked one Kazon in the leg, he fell to the ground. Cullah fired at James, but he ducked in time. He hit Cullah in the face. The remaining Kazon went forward and pointed his weapon towards James' neck.

"It's on kill by the way," the Kazon sneered. Cullah and the other Kazon grabbed James' arms, and dragged him away.

Voyager, the Bridge:
"Captain, I'm detecting another beacon," Harry said. Kathryn glanced his way. "It's definitely ours, Starfleet issue."

"Put the message on screen," Kathryn said.

Chakotay appeared on the screen, with a serious look on his face. "If you get this message then its possible I'm already dead." A familiar voice coughed to behind him. "And James too. Don't bother to come and rescue us, there's no point, we have destroyed the transporter module."

Two fingers appeared above Chakotay's head. Harry and Danny tried not to laugh, Kathryn groaned.

Chakotay glanced behind him, "James stop it!"

The screen changed back to space view. "Well at least James hasn't changed," Danny commented.

Kazon ship:
Both Chakotay and James were dragged into a different room. Chakotay struggled out of one guy's grip, the other Kazon hit him with the gun.

Seska made her way into the room. "You can go," she said.

All of the Kazons did as they were told. "I see the Kazon take orders from you now," Chakotay commented.

"Well I can safely say I'm in a position of some influence. It's fortunate for you, Cullah wanted you executed immediately. I convinced him that you'd both be valuable prisoners," Seska said.

"What him?" Chakotay and James said in unison.

"Oh look at this, my two favourite guys," Seska said.

"Wait till I tell Cullah that," James said.

Seska sighed, "that doesn't matter. What does is that this just proves that Federation can't soften guys like you two. I'm impressed."

"Nice, just so you know you've lost," Chakotay said.

"I think she's noticed," James said.

"Why do I need some dumb transporter piece, when I have your shuttle?" Seska said questioningly.

"You'll find that shuttle useless. I wiped the database," Chakotay said.

James rolled his eyes, "no I did."

"Should have expected that," Seska muttered.

"So if you're going to have us killed, just do it," Chakotay said.

"Charming," James muttered.

"Shut the hell up!" Chakotay grumbled.

Seska made her way over to Chakotay. "You know what's going to happen. Several Kazon ships from other Sects are coming towards us, to help capture Voyager."

"Why are you telling me this?" Chakotay asked.

"I'm not a monster. I still care about Torres and some of the others. I don't want to see anyone get hurt. That won't happen if you give me something to work with," Seska said as she gently flirted with him.

James tried not to laugh out loud, Chakotay noticed. "Stop it Tom," he muttered.

James looked shocked, "b***ard!"

Chakotay shook his head, "look Seska, Voyager's not coming. I left them instructions not to come, so you can stop worrying."

Seska stormed away from him. "They'll come, they won't leave their first officer in the hands of the Kazon."

"Why not, he's a crap one anyway," James said. Chakotay glared at him.

Seska went over to Chakotay again. She started flirting with him more, she whispered something.

"After all this you don't think you and I can still..." Chakotay muttered.

"Don't flatter yourself," Seska snapped. She walked away and started pacing. "You were never that good. You may have been an interesting diversion now and then, but all I was interested in was all the information you could provide me with." She went back over to Chakotay, "you gave me Marquis secrets, now I want Voyager's command codes."

"If you think I'm going to give you those codes, you don't know me as well as you think you do," Chakotay sneered.

"Not a problem, I know James has hacked out a few codes," Seska said.

"Sorry, command codes mean pig all to me. Haven't tried," James said.

"But you can do it from here," Seska said.

"Nope can't," James said.

"Can't or won't?" Chakotay asked.

"Both really," James replied.

Seska groaned, she headed for the door. "You may not give me the command codes, but when Cullah gets through with you, you'll wish you had." She left the room.

"She loves the sound of her voice, doesn't she?" James said.

"Sounds familiar," Chakotay muttered.

Voyager, the Conference Room:
"We've got to go and get him," B'Elanna said.

"Commander Chakotay requested that we not rescue him," Tuvok said.

"Ahem, aren't we forgetting someone here?" Jessie said angrily.

"Ensign Taylor did not seem to object," Tuvok said.

"Doesn't matter, we don't have to honour that request," B'Elanna said.

"We will be risking an armed conflict with the Kazon," Tuvok said.

"So what, the Kazon have our first officer. What will that do for morale," B'Elanna said.

Kathryn turned around. "B'Elanna's right. Lieutenant, tell Danny to set a course for their ship."

"Aye Captain," Tuvok said. He turned to leave, B'Elanna and Jessie followed him out.

The Kazon ship:
Cullah smacked Chakotay across the face. "Just tell him what he needs to know," Seska said from behind Chakotay.

"She's quite a woman isn't she? I bet she told you that you're the most exciting man she's ever known, while rubbing your shoulders. That's what she did for me," Chakotay mumbled.

"You're not telling me what I need to know," Cullah muttered.

"You're wrong Cullah, I'm telling you exactly what you need to know," Chakotay said. He laughed, "she's using you."

Cullah leaned in closer to Chakotay's face, "I'm the one who's using her."

Chakotay laughed again, he looked up at Seska. "You've done a better job on him than you did on me."

Cullah grabbed a hold of his hair, "you talk to me, not to her."

"Then what's she doing here? Watching you work! She used to like to watch me work too," Chakotay said.

"I don't believe a word of this. Stop playing games, and tell me the command codes," Cullah said.

"You know what I especially liked, the little mole on her stomach," Chakotay said. Cullah punched him. "I guess you've seen it."

"This is a waste of time," Cullah muttered.

"Not really, I can give you first hand information," Chakotay said.

"Go ahead," Cullah said.

"Once Seska's through with you, she's going to kill you," Chakotay laughed. Cullah growled, he grabbed him by the hair. Seska took his arm to stop him.

"He's delirious, he doesn't know what he's saying," Seska said.

Cullah fully stood up. "I'll try him again later. For his sake he better be more co-operative." He left the room.

Seska picked up a large needle, she stuck it into Chakotay's neck. She stroked his hair afterwards, he fell unconscious.

"I hope you're not sticking that thing in me," James said nearby.

"No I'm not. At least not yet cutie," Seska said with a wink. She went over to stand nearby him.

"Just great," James groaned.

Cullah marched back into the room clenching his fists. "One last time Seska, does this kid know the codes?"

"If he doesn't, he will be able to get them," Seska replied.

"Fine," Cullah hissed.

"You want the codes?" James said questioningly. Cullah nodded. "Ok, the code is 1, 2, 3, 4 jackass."

Cullah quickly wrote it down, "1, 2, 3, 4 jacka... wait. hey!" He quickly went over to James, and grabbed a hold of his hair. "Don't play any games. Your friend did the same and look at him."

"I already said that I don't know them, what else do you want?" James said.

"You're a good hacker, that was your job on the Marquis ship," Seska said.

"I know, I just don't feel like it," James said.

"Feel my fist then," Cullah growled. He punched James in the face.

"Ooh, ow," James muttered sarcastically.

Cullah was about to hit him again but Seska stopped him. "Don't, he's only a kid."

"No I'm not," James said.

"Shut up!" Cullah yelled.

"Why, I thought you wanted me to talk," James said.

"Can I please hit him?" Cullah asked. Seska shook her head. Cullah shrugged, and he hit James again.

"Nearly there. I take it you can't hit very hard, or that wig will come right off right?" James said.

Cullah growled, he hit him again. "Tell me, or I'll break that nose of yours."

"Tell you what?" James said questioningly. He pulled both hands from behind his back. "That the restraints didn't actually restrain?" He punched Cullah in the face, then he headed for the door.

Cullah pulled out the remote thing again. "Cullah to Security, one human is on the loose." He glanced up at Seska angrily. "You could have warned me."

"I didn't notice, Maj," Seska said innocently.

"Didn't notice, you were right beside him," Cullah groaned.

Seska looked confused, "oh that, I was about to."

"What did you think I meant?" Cullah asked.

Seska looked nervous. She put her hand over mouth as she spoke, "he's a Slayer."

"Oh that's just great," Cullah groaned. He stormed out of the room again.

Voyager, the Bridge:
Kathryn was pacing the centre of the room. B'Elanna, Tuvok, Jessie and Danny were watching her.

"Stop that, I'm getting dizzy," Jessie muttered.

Kathryn stopped, "what's the plan then?"

"You were thinking up the plan, we were waiting for you," Danny replied.

B'Elanna groaned, "it's very simple. Attack and beam them both out."

"There are three other ships with Cullah's ship now," Harry added.

"I'd advice against an armed conflict," Tuvok said.

"So you keep hinting," Jessie muttered.

"We could beam them out while still in warp. They won't even see us, before it's too late of course," B'Elanna said.

"If we do not do it quickly enough, or something goes wrong, you could scramble their patterns," Tuvok said.

"Do you have a better idea," B'Elanna asked. Tuvok raised his eyebrow. "This'll work Captain."

"What makes you so sure?" Kathryn said.

"Because I've done it before," B'Elanna replied.

Kathryn glanced at Tuvok, "let's do it."

The Kazon ship:
Cullah and Seska were at the head of a large table. Two Kazons were sitting opposite. Another Kazon entered the room. Cullah introduced him to the others.

"We've met before, in battle," the new Kazon growled. He stared at one of the Kazons, he stared right back.

"Please Jal Selec, sit down," Cullah said. He and Jal Selec sat down. "Now you all know why we're all here, don't you. There's a ship filled with technology. All we have to do is wait for it to come to us. Once we've captured it, all four sects will be the most feared in the quadrant."

"What makes you think they won't use that technology against us?" one Kazon said questioningly.

"Because we have their command codes," Cullah replied.

"What will those do?" Jal Selec asked.

Cullah glanced up at Seska, "what do they do?"

Seska groaned, "for starters, we can alter their shields."

"Got any proof?" the first Kazon asked.

"In fact I do," Cullah replied. He clicked his fingers. Everyone looked around expecting something to happen. Seska rolled her eyes.

"There's no one else in here Maj," she muttered.

"Then go and get someone!" Cullah yelled.

Seska groaned, she walked outside. She came back a little while later. One Kazon followed her dragging Chakotay unconscious. He dumped him onto the ground.

"Allow me to introduce Commander Chakotay, Voyager's first officer," Cullah said. Two of the Kazons smiled, the first one wasn't impressed.

"Not enough. How do we know who he is?" he asked angrily.

"Fine. I have something else that may please you," Cullah said through his gritted teeth. He clicked his fingers. The new Kazon went out of the room, he and another Kazon came in dragging James in. He was now in a much worse state than Chakotay was. The two Kazons dumped him near Chakotay, and left.

"What now? The Captain's brat Cullah?" the first Kazon sneered.

"No Jal Hurrid. He's Voyager's personal Games Slayer," Cullah replied. He looked up at Seska.

"At least a natural," Seska added on.

"Anything else?" Jal Hurrid said questioningly.

"No, now shut up!" Cullah yelled.

"I doubt he's a Slayer, they aren't easily captured," Jal Hurrid said.

"You're right, they're not. But they're nothing the Nistrim can't handle. All it took were a few of my men and..." Cullah said.

"I don't believe it. Where's your proof?" Jal Hurrid snapped.

Jal Selec pulled out a gun, and shot Jal Hurrid in the arm. He fell off his chair. "Annoying twit."

The whole room shook, Seska turned away from the console next to her. "It's Voyager, they're trying to beam out their crewmembers."

"Cullah, use the command codes," Jal Selec commanded.

"Um, ok then," Cullah muttered. He turned to Seska, she glared at him.

"What are you waiting for?" Jal Selec snapped.

Jal Hurrid shook his head, "I don't think you ever had the codes. I think you're a liar."

"It doesn't matter. If we all work together we can defeat them," Cullah said.

"You're right, we can defeat them. But we're going to do it without you," Jal Selec said. He and the other two pointed a gun at Cullah. "We're taking your ship." The four guys dematerialised.

Voyager, the transporter room:
The four guys appeared on the pad, they pointed their guns at Tuvok and other security guys. "You will find that our transporters have made your weapons useless," Tuvok said.

"You are going to pay for this Cullah," Jal Hurrid muttered.

"Here's the deal, gentlemen. Our two crewmembers in exchange for your freedom," Tuvok said.

Sickbay:
The Doctor was busy treating Chakotay, Kes was treating James. Jessie was standing next to Kes, while Kathryn waited nearby.

"What were you thinking?" Jessie asked.

"You know what I'm like after a coma. I needed to vent some anger on some Kazon. Plus Seska needed sorting out," James replied.

Kes finished treating him as Jessie folded her arms. "What about me? I've been spending months worried to death about you being in that coma. Doc told me the longer you were in it, there would be a smaller chance of you waking up at all."

"I'll leave you two alone," Kes said quietly. She rushed off.

James got off the biobed. "I'm sorry, remember after comas people usually don't think straight."

"Stop using that coma as an excuse. Just because I wasn't there when you woke up, I've had this horrible feeling you went with Chakotay to spite me," Jessie said.

"Where would you get that idea?" James asked, as he placed his hand on her arm.

"I dunno, was it that?" Jessie replied.

"No, I told you why I went with him. I wasn't thinking clearly, and I wanted to beat something up," James said.

"And Seska needed dealing with, right?" Jessie said.

"And that yeah. Just a thought though, where were you when I woke up?" James asked.

Jessie looked at the floor. "Well I dunno, nobody told me what time you woke up. Besides I was misled, Randy told me you'd be more worried about my well being if I was there 24/7."

"No, I probably would be. But who the hell is Randy?" James asked.

Jessie looked back up at him, "someone I met when you were asleep. Danny introduced us."

James raised his eyebrow, "oh right. You two good friends now, huh?"

Jessie smiled as she glanced briefly to the right of her. "No cos he's only like you in one way, and it doesn't suit him like it does with you."

"Ookay, in what way?" James asked.

"You both get jealous too easily," Jessie said. She turned around and left the room giggling quietly.

James followed looking confused, "jealous? Of what?" Kathryn stopped him by taking a hold of his arm.

"See you in the Ready Room, ten minutes," she said icily. James rolled his eyes and left the room. Kathryn sighed, she smelt her hand, "ah coffee hand cream." The Doctor overheard, he rolled his eyes too.

The Ready Room:
"I just want to know, what were you both thinking?" Kathryn asked.

"Answered already. Chakotay, your turn," James said.

Chakotay ignored him, "that Seska needed stopping and I wanted to do it without risking the ship."

"That's a very noble gesture, but it wasn't your decision to make," Kathryn said.

Chakotay leaned on her desk, "Seska was my problem. Well obviously both of ours anyway. She knew Voyager would come, we gave her a surprise."

"No, you two just had a personal score to settle," Kathryn said.

"Yeah so," James muttered.

Chakotay ignored him again, "I thought I was doing the right thing."

"Really, tell me this," Kathryn said as she got off her chair. She stood in front of the pair. "What do I say to the crew when their first officer goes off and steals a shuttle just because he thinks it's a good idea?"

Chakotay looked at her looking ashamed. "What you did was good, how you did it was not. You set a terrible example. And on a personal level you've made my job more difficult."

"If that's true, then I regret it," Chakotay said.

"I'm putting you both on report, if that means anything at all," Kathryn said.

James just shrugged. Chakotay sighed, "it does mean something to me Captain. It means I let you down, and for that I'm truly sorry."

James glanced up at Chakotay with a raised eyebrow, "boy you can tell you used to be a teachers pet."

Chakotay looked down at him, "shut up shortie."

"Tattooed tree," James said. Kathryn groaned.

"Floppy haired twit," Chakotay grumbled.

"Old fat git," James said.

In: "Bridge to Janeway, you better see this."

"Thank god for that," Kathryn muttered. She left the room, Chakotay and James followed.

"We've got another beacon, it's from Seska," Harry said.

"Put it on screen," Kathryn ordered.

Seska appeared on the screen. "Hello Chakotay, hello James. Congratulations on your victory, I look forward to our next meeting. Oh and there's something you should know. While you were unconscious I took samples of both of your DNA and impregnated myself with both," she said. She smiled, "one of you's going to be a father." The viewscreen changed back.

"Damn writers," James grumbled.

Tom sniggered, "had a good time with the threesome, guys?

Chakotay and James glared at Tom. "We didn't do anything!" Chakotay yelled.

"Really?" Tom said.

James looked even more angry than before, "haven't hit him in three months can I?"

"Be my guest," Chakotay grumbled.

Tom's eyes widened, he ran into the turbolift. James joined him in there in time, the doors closed.

****THE END****

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