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Episode Synopsis
Voyager's in trouble once again as they enter Borg Space. However their main problem is sitting in the captains chair.

November & December 2010
October & November 2011

Episode Based In
Primarily 12th March 2373


"Vessel identified: USS Voyager, Federation starship. Intrepid class, registry 74656. Heading spatial grid 1476."

A pair of cold grey eyes watched a monitor showing the Starfleet ship drop out of warp. A few numbers and circles surrounded the vessel as it entered a debris field.

"Threat: minimal," a female voice said. Her mechanical figure turned away from the screen. "Humans, in the Delta Quadrant. Interesting. Cube 138 reroute to spatial..."

She shuddered, closing her eyes tightly. "We're under attack."

Another screen next to Voyager's switched to show two Borg Cubes. An energy beam appeared from outside the screen's view, the contact with the first cube blew it to pieces within a few seconds. A similar beam did the same to its neighbour.

The woman opened her eyes again. With a sigh she turned to look at the now empty screen. "Cube 270 reroute to spatial grid 1476. Humans have a habit of sticking their noses where they do not belong."


Twelve Days Earlier
23rd February 2373

The USS Voyager continued on its seventy year long journey to the Alpha Quadrant.

First Officer's Log Stardate 51148.6: The energy signatures we detected this morning appears to be a vast debris field, only two weeks away. As it's close to our current path I've decided to investigate any threats to Voyager itself. In the mean time it's the annual crew evaluations, as I'd imagine our crew would be grateful for the distraction.

Inside the Conference Room, most of the Senior Staff were spending their second hour discussing the performance of the crew.

The tired First Officer groaned into his large hand, tightening his other. "No Tom, we're not up to Z yet." He got a few more groans from his staff as he pressed a button on the table.

On the wall monitor a picture of a blond crewman appeared, with a lot of writing about him beside it.

"Anderson, Craig."

"What?" a tired voice whined. Everyone's heads turned to the usual suspect; the blond and opinionative helmsman. "Only A?"

"We'd get through this a lot quicker if you didn't complain about it," the First Officer snapped at him. "Department; Security. Placement time; one year. Mr Tuvok?" He turned to the only calm and patient person in the room, the Vulcan Security Chief.

"Mr Anderson has shown the enthusiasm for the job, however he lacks the training. The annual Security reviews take place next month, so it is the logical time for him to take that up."

"So you recommend that he remains in Security?"

Tuvok's eyebrow raised, he nodded his head. "Yes Commander. He does have the potential."

"What, to not dodge when fired at and stand around all day?" the helmsman piped up. This earned a few more groans.

"I'll tell you what, Tom," the First Officer grumbled, pressing another button. The helmsman face popped up on the screen, showing off his old combed over hairstyle. Most of the room giggled. "Paris, Thomas Eugene."

"Oh Chakotay," the helmsman sighed. "I thought we were buddies now."

"Not this time of year," the First Officer sighed. "Department; Bridge, the helm. Placement time; two years, give or take a few months. As his department head isn't here, why don't we call her in."

Tom's eyes widened so much they started to water. "Ok, I'll be good."

The brunette Lieutenant sitting next to him smirked to herself, "quiet would be nicer." Tom pretended to zip his mouth shut, and smiled at everyone.

However the silence from Tom didn't last as they reached the C's part of the evaluation. "Chakotay. Department..."

"Seriously, do we really need to do you?" he asked.

"I'm sensing a that's what she said joke," the fresh faced Ensign Kim said with a smile.

"Oh come on, two years of the Delta and we're still doing this by the book. Most of the crew can't be shifted anyway," Tom said to his friend.

"I hate to say it but he has a point, Chakotay," the half Klingon Lieutenant said, wincing at her words. Tom turned his head in her direction to give her a wink. "The only one he'll ever have."

Chakotay groaned again into his hand, only both this time. "All right. What do you suggest?"

"Each department head discusses crewmembers who are having problems, need promotion, want to move elsewhere," Tom replied.

"The Captain prefers it this way, but less time with you is a bonus," Chakotay said with a heavy sigh. "Very well. I'll take her place for the department head, shall I?" Everyone agreed with a small nod. "Who would like to go first? B'Elanna?"

"All I want to change is the shifts for Danny Scott, or Ian Richards," the half Klingon replied. Tom threw her a quick inquisitive glance. "Let's just say I'm glad I caught them before they reached where they were going, which I think was just the station above the warp core."

"Ohno, can't have them stealing your spot," the holographic Doctor smiled. B'Elanna threw him one of her glares.

"Just put Danny on night shifts, and I'm ok for this year," she muttered.

"As long as they aren't sharing shifts, I get it. Who approved her move to Engineering anyway?" Chakotay said, looking around at everyone.

"The Captain. She grew very angry with her comments," Tuvok replied.

Tom laughed to himself, "maybe we should discuss her next."

"We can't change the Captain's job, as much as we'd like," Harry said to him.

Chakotay passed him a disapproving look, "even you Harry? She has reason not to be acting like herself."

"Yes but I pointed out that during the last month or two that she rest and prepare," the Doctor chimed in. "Of course I was a fool to think she'd listen to me. Maybe she'd listen to you."

Chakotay laughed, "I'm the last one she'll listen to. Now can we continue the evaluations? Doctor?"

"I'll say what I say every year; I'm very pleased with having Kes as my assistant. However I would like to train up another medic just in case both of us are unable to do our duties."

"We don't have anyone really spare, do we?" Chakotay questioned the rest of the room. Tom raised his hand. "You, Paris?"

"Good lord no," he snorted. The Doctor shook his head. "We have our new crewmember, he's spare." Everyone stared at him like he was nuts.

"Damien?" Chakotay said, his voice raised higher than usual. "The same Damien who's tried to mess with us for years. The same one who nobody's seen for months?"

"Really? I wasn't aware," Tom muttered. "Of the second one."

"And secondly, Sickbay? We may as well just kill ourselves, it'd be a time saver," Chakotay grumbled. He shook his head as if to get Tom's idea off of him. "Tuvok?"

"No issues Commander. However from next year on I would like to move forward the Security reviews to this month," Tuvok replied.

"There's no need, this years crew evaluations are only early because of... certain circumstances," Chakotay said carefully.

"Ah too busy changing dirty diapers next month," Tom sniggered into his hand.

"Show of hands if yes, do we really need Tom here for this?" Chakotay asked everyone. Everyone remained still. "Tom, out!"

Tom clenched his fist and did a fist pump. "Oh yeah, later guys." B'Elanna stared at him. "And beautiful ladies." He jumped out of his seat.

"I heard Kes isn't on duty yet, we have no one in Sickbay," Chakotay said with a smile. "Hop to it, Paris."

"Damn," Tom grumbled as he disappeared out the door.

"Harry, as the night shift Captain, any thoughts?" Chakotay questioned.

Harry's face lit up, "yes Commander. I have a request for one specific crewmember."

Chakotay groaned, "let me guess."

Harry didn't let him, "James. Yeah, he never listens to me..."

Chakotay pressed a button on the table, the picture of himself still there was replaced by a picture of a different blond crewmember to earlier. "Taylor-Stuart, James."

"This one should be fun," B'Elanna smirked.

"He doesn't listen to anyone. Do you really need to..." Chakotay muttered as he was reading the file next to the picture.

"Well he's rude," Harry replied. Chakotay stared at him as if he was going to repeat himself. "Wasn't his night shift referral only temporary? I thought he was Security anyway, one of yours Tuvok?" he stuttered.

The Vulcan raised his eyebrow, "the Captain believed he'd be more suited to replace you at Opps during the nightshift. There were no teams on Security with an empty slot during those shifts."

"What's going on with that, it's been months," B'Elanna questioned, raising her own eyebrow. "Months ago he and Jessie were on leave. Why the big fuss?"

"Hey speaking of Jessie, is she dead or something? I haven't seen her for ages," Harry asked. "That would explain James' rudeness."

"Not that I know of," the Doctor frowned.

"She's sick," Chakotay replied. The Doctor swung his head around. "She's fine now, recovering."

"Again, I know nothing of this. Treated by who?" the Doctor demanded. "She didn't even come in for her yearly medical last October either. Why the secrecy?"

"Good thing Tom's gone," B'Elanna muttered to herself.

"It's not important, not anymore," Chakotay muttered, pressing the buttons on the table again. James' file was replaced by a curly black haired girl's. The name on the file said Rex-Annet, Jessica. "She'll be back soon, you can do her medical before she starts."

"I do not understand this at all," the Doctor grumbled. "I'm the best in my field, that's the point. Who treated her, and what was it?"

"You can ask her if you want," Chakotay sighed. "I wouldn't advise it though. You'll probably find out during her medical. Kes will update her medical file for you."

"Kes knew?" the Doctor asked in a bewildered tone.

Chakotay shrugged, "Kes assumed that she has a bit of a phobia of doctors. I just assumed she didn't want her medical history shared with any random crewmember you felt like telling."

"What?" the Doctor stuttered. "I take patient/doctor confidentiality seriously."

"I beg to differ," Tuvok chimed in. Harry smirked to himself.

Chakotay pointed at the smirking Ensign, "point proven. Now, she'll most likely go back to the bridge, same post, same shift. I'll be talking to her at a later time about it. So back to James, what exactly do you want me to do Harry?"

"Security, or the Beta shift," Harry replied.

"So, just away from you," Chakotay smirked at him.

"Yes," Harry nodded.

Chakotay turned to Tuvok, "Commander?"

"As Mr Damien hasn't been seen in months, Team One have only three people in it. If you and the Captain agree, then yes."

Chakotay put his head in his hands, brushing his thick hair back. "Oh right, the Captain."

B'Elanna frowned, "what? You're the one in charge of the crew shifts."

"She decided to remove him from Security, it was his idea actually, he wanted it," Chakotay replied.

"Correct me if I'm wrong Commander, but he was originally placed on Security as a punishment duty," Tuvok said.

"The Captain did choose to keep him there as the job suited him more than a bridge, or Engineering role," Chakotay replied. B'Elanna looked up with her eyes wide.

"Oh no no, don't give Harry any ideas. It's not happening," she grumbled.

"Wow, nobody wants him," the Doctor commented.

"I'll mention this to the Captain, Security's probably the best bet," Chakotay groaned. "Now, is there anything else?"

The intercom beep rudely interrupted him, followed by a nervous male voice. "Engineering to Commander Chakotay."

Chakotay tapped his commbadge, looking a little relieved. "Yes?"

"There's something here you really have to see, it's not good."

Everyone looked at him with interest, he couldn't help but show it either. "I'm on my way. Dismissed everyone, we'll sort the paperwork out later."

Everyone couldn't leave the room fast enough.


Present Day
12th March 2373

On the bridge tensions were high as the red alert siren pierced its way through everyone's ears.

Chakotay flew around the command area's metal railings, clutching them as he headed for the centre of the bridge. "Where did that ship come from?" he demanded.

"A quantum singularity has appeared thirty thousand kilometres away. The bio-ship is heading directly toward the armada," said Tuvok, as calm as you'd expect from a Vulcan.

Chakotay faced the giant screen at the front of the bridge. All he could see was the deadly view of two Borg Cubes, the Federation's greatest enemy, with their tractor beams focused toward them.

Working furiously at the Operations station was the anxious Harry Kim, Chakotay watched him as if he was only waiting for him to solve the situation. "The Borg shields are lowering. We might be able to get away from them!"

Chakotay swung around to focus his attention on Tactical. "Can you get a lock on the Captain?"

"Not yet," came the unwanted reply.

"Commander, there are twelve more bio-ships coming out of the singularity!" Harry yelled over the siren.

Tom sat manning the ship's navigational controls at the centre of the bridge, unable to take his eyes off the viewscreen.

"This isn't good," he uttered as he glanced briefly down at his station. He heard a scoff from a few metres behind him.

"Thanks for the heads up," a younger blond man retorted. "Maybe we should replace the red alert signal with you."

Chakotay swung around to fix a cold stare at the crewman. "Save it for the nightshift, Taylor."

The man shrugged, "just making up for lost time."

Tom's fingers glided across his panel, while his eyes glanced to and from the viewscreen to it. It changed view to a group of six Borg vessels, a group of twelve little ships had formed a circle and appeared to be charging up together.

"See, the red alert siren can only do so much," he retorted right back.

"Congratulations, you switched the channel," Taylor responded.

"James enough!" the first officer snapped.

Turning back to look at the viewscreen just in time to see the charging turned into a beam directed towards the ship in the centre of the armada. The entire cube crumbled like a piece of paper in seconds.

The explosion collided with the other cubes nearby, destroying them instantly. The shock wave from it hurtled closer to the two cubes and the captured Starfleet vessel.

Harry looked up from his station for a second. "Impact in twelve seconds."

"We still cannot get out of the Borg ship's tractor beam," Tom's voice almost cracked as he worked his magic on the helm.

James turned to go towards the stations at the back of the station. He lightly pushed another crewman out of his way. The crewman still managed to stumble to the side, bumping into his neighbour.

Harry glanced over, "don't bother trying, I really doubt the Borg systems can be hacked into."

The entire ship shook as the shock wave made impact with their shields and the cubes towing them. One Borg Cube moved to get away from the debris, its tractor beam locked on Voyager fizzled away into nothing. Two more Cubes were following.

Within seconds the shock wave had consumed the three of them. The lead cube still carrying Voyager on its leash managed to outrun the worst of it.

"The Borg Shields are down," Harry broke the ice. "I've got a lock on the Captain."

James turned on his heel to face the rest of the bridge again. "Oh good, we can't leave without our entertainment."

Chakotay threw him a stone cold glance, but this didn't phase him too much. He replied with a casual shrug. "Beam her up Harry," the Commander ordered.

"I'm trying, something's interfering with the beam," Harry said, his fingers rushing over the panel.

Tuvok looked up from his station with an eyebrow raised higher than usual. "We're being hailed."

Chakotay let out a loud sigh, "on screen." His face soon turned a shade paler when he was greeted by a familiar face on the viewscreen.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? I told you I had a plan you incompetent ape!" Captain Kathryn Janeway almost screeched. Her usually pale face was bright red around the cheeks, her blue eyes almost piercing to anybody who dared to look. Chakotay didn't realise there was something worse than her infamous death glare. "No beam ups, unless you plan on beaming over the coffee!"

"Beam over the coffee? Would the Borg even allow it?" Tom muttered as if to himself, while trying to hide his face from the viewscreen.

Kathryn's eyes managed to widen even further. Before she could butt in James spoke, "of course they would. They'd assimilate it, and we'd all be screwed with caffeinated Borg drones."

"What a ridiculous idea, who would do that?" Tom said to himself.

Chakotay shook his head, he tried to put on a brave face to go against the Janeway Glare. "No, no coffee, don't you remember?"


Eight Months Earlier
16th July 2372

In Holodeck Two the resort program was active. Annoyingly repetitive music playing that suited the theme of the party was blasting from some unknown speakers. Almost every member of the crew were there, most of which wearing these awful Hawaiian themed outfits.

Tuvok passed by a very peeved looking Tom, then stopped next to Kathryn and Chakotay who were standing near a big sofa. "Captain?"

Kathryn looked up at him, "Tuvok, I'm surprised you're here."

"I was following orders Captain. I also thought that I should keep an eye on intoxicated crewmembers' activities," Tuvok said. Unknown to him a crewmember ran passed him, wearing nothing on his torso.

"I was only suggesting," Kathryn said with a smirk on her face. Tuvok raised an eyebrow before walking away. Chakotay gestured his arm in one direction, Kathryn smiled as she locked her arm in with his. A smile appeared on his face as they walked away.

Tom stood around like he was looking for someone to harass, with a drink in hand he spotted a target. "Well well, Lieutenant Anderson. I'll go and talk to him. I bet he hasn't got a date, he never has."

In his line of sight was a young crewman, with messy dark blonde hair. He seemed to be eyeing up the crowd as well, but with a look of hopelessness on his face. Tom startled him as he greeted the young man. "Craig, yoohoo!"

"Oh hi Tom," he meekly said.

"I take it you don't have a date," Tom blurted out. Craig stared at him as if he claimed Janeway hated coffee and wanted it banned.

"Oh, not yet," he said once he was over his shock. From his pocket he revealed a standard pad. "I'm sure one of these lucky ladies are on their own, looking for company."

"You know that's just edging on stalking," Tom blatantly said like he didn't care.

"It's not, it's just easier to keep track on the ones who have..." Craig trailed off when he realised he was saying too much.

Tom's face lit up, the mischief in his blue eyes clearly showing. "Keep track on the ones who have what? Rejected you?"

Craig did not look impressed, "at least I didn't get turned down for a Vulcan."

Tom's eyes widened, his cheeks turned a little red. "I have no idea what you mean."

"B'Elanna," Craig said, waving his finger. "Vorik, please Tom. Don't hide the anguish, share it with me."

Tom laughed sarcastically at him, his arms folded tightly around his chest. "I have no trouble with the ladies kid, B'Elanna digs me."

James walked passed with two drinks, he stopped just to laugh then continued on his way. "Dig you a grave maybe," Tom heard him say. Craig smirk grew as Tom's cheeks managed to get redder. "Wow, deja vu," he then muttered to himself.

"Friend of yours?" Craig said, barely managing to contain a laugh building inside him.

"Friend of my ass, he can kiss it," Tom muttered under his breath. "Look, face it kid. You'll never get the ladies to like you until you learn some tricks."

"Correction, lady. I don't need to overcompensate by pretending to have had many girlfriends," Craig interrupted him.

"Ok this isn't pick on Tom day, Jessie has that scheduled for October for some reason," Tom grumbled.

"Is it on the official calendar?" Craig asked with a smile.

Tom sighed, "I wouldn't expect anything less."

"I thought every day was pick on Tom day anyway," Craig said with real confusion. He shrugged his shoulders, "no matter, I'll save some for that day."

"Good cos I want to help you, I like you just not in that way," Tom said. His eyes narrowed suddenly, "wait, what did you mean by overcompensating?"

"What else would I mean?" Craig replied without hesitation.

"Ok I'm out, you're on your own kid," Tom grumbled as he stomped off. He grabbed two drinks off one of the trays the holograms were carrying around.


A few hours later Tom was barely walking in a straight line, with a look of contentment on his face. He caught sight of young Craig again, and stumbled over to him.

"Hey, Craig!"

The young man jumped, spilling some of his drink in his hand. "Oh, hi, Tom," he said once he recovered. Tom reached over and stole Craig's PADD. "No, don't look at that!" Craig screamed.

"Hey, watch it! B'Elanna's on the list, so you'd better keep away from my B'E," Tom said loudly in a slurry voice as he collapsed into the chair beside him.

"You're drunk," Craig muttered as he took the PADD back.

"LIAR!" Tom yelled. "Prove it, damn it!"

"For starters, sober people don't talk in a slurry voice," Craig said.

"You do though," Tom replied.

"No I don't," Craig muttered.

"DO!" Tom yelled over dramatically.




Suddenly there was a thud; Tom had fell off his chair. Craig rolled his eyes and stood up. He started to head for the holodeck doors. "Later Tom."

For the next few minutes Tom tried to stand up, with no success. Eventually he grabbed a hold of the chair leg he fell off, and tried to pull himself back up. All he achieved was the chair falling on him instead. After many attempts he got to his feet. His eyes lit up once he spotted his next companions.

Kathryn and Chakotay were sitting on one of the sofa type chairs. In the middle of a conversation she stopped talking and looked around.

"Hey where's everyone gone?"

"Kathryn, it's 0100 hours, they're probably in bed by now," Chakotay replied.

"Is it that time already?" Kathryn gasped in shock. Chakotay nodded. "You know this is all your fault."

"Why's that?" Chakotay asked.

"You're too distracting," Kathryn laughed.

Catching on Chakotay smiled back, "in what way?"

"You know what I mean," Kathryn smirked at him.

Chakotay raised his shoulders in a half shrug, sighing, "I'm afraid I don't."

Kathryn moved closer to him. Suddenly they both felt an arm around their shoulders.

"Hi guys!" Tom yelled in their ears from behind them. "Great party huh?"

"Not now," Chakotay groaned.

"Ey! How rude, I know when I'm not welcome," Tom grumbled, swaying from side to side. The pair in front of him sighed in relief, but it was short lived. "But I'll stay here with you, cos I know you both love me!" Tom yelled. Luckily for them, he collapsed behind the sofa.

"Do you think he's had too much to drink?" Chakotay laughed.

"Why would you think that, he seems his normal self," Kathryn smiled cheekily.

Tom tried to pull himself back up, but his feet weren't behaving. "Crap, I can't get back up! Help me guys." He heard a suspicious noise that made his old gossip loving ears perk up. "Oh, nice!"

"Eeew," a male voice groaned. Tom clutched to the side of the sofa while sitting on the floor, he looked up hopefully to see James standing nearby with a face full of disgust.

"Jamesy, my best friend. Put it there pal!" Tom yelled as he held his hand out like you would for a handshake.

James' face of disgust changed quickly to an amused one. "Sure thing, buddy." Instead of the help me up handshake he expected, he was lifted half way up then dropped.

"Oooh!" Tom grunted as he fell sideways to the ground, his knees still bunched up in a kneeling position.

After James left, so did Kathryn and Chakotay both separately. Only minutes later Tuvok decided to leave. As he thought he was last he turned the program off. Tom continued to lie in that awkward kneeling position on the holodeck grid, his snores echoing around the room.

Hours later he woke up with a splitting headache.

"What the hell am I still doing in the holodeck?" he asked himself.

"Janeway to Paris."

Tom reached for his commbadge, "Er... yes Captain?"

"Why aren't you on the Bridge, you duty shift starts now."

"Oh sorry, I'm on my way," Tom mumbled as he stumbled to his feet. He totally forgot that he still had his party clothes on.

"I'm telling you, it looked edible for once," Craig moaned while clutching his stomach.

Attending to him was the Ocampan Kes, who the holographic doctor trained to assist him. She looked on in sympathy, "that usually means it's a lot worse." She sighed, remembering the times she was dating the only Voyager chef.

Neelix had a strange imagination when it came to making up new recipes, completely forgetting everyone on board were alien to his ways, literally. Most of her patients were his victims. The holographic doctor constantly told him to look up human recipes, but Neelix was too proud to listen to a mere hologram.

"I'll stick with the rations then," Craig said with a sigh at the end. "I was saving for something else, but that's out."

Kes smiled as she pressed a hypospray into his arm. "That'll take a few minutes."

Craig smiled back at her, he thought he'd try his luck. "I'm feeling better already, since you're here."

Her smile faded away very quickly, "Craig what are you doing?"

"Oh," Craig's face turned an interesting shade of red. "I thought you'd like..."

"Go please," Kes said, sounding very awkward.

"Gone," Craig almost squeaked, he ran away as fast as he could. The doors stayed open for Kathryn, soon following her was Chakotay and the holographic doctor.

"It's just a precaution," the Doctor was saying.

Kathryn stopped, halting the two directly behind her as well. "I told you, I'm fine now thanks to your excellent care."

"Then there's nothing to worry about," the Doctor retorted. He began scanning her anyway, despite her death glare being directed at him. "Hmm."

Kes walked over to stand next to the Doctor, her face showing off her usual curiosity.

"What?" Kathryn asked. Kes and Chakotay looked puzzled while The Doctor turned his attention to Chakotay.

"Commander, may I see you in my office?" he asked. Chakotay and Kathryn shared a confused glance.

"All right," Chakotay replied.

The Doctor walked towards his office, Chakotay followed.

"Kes, do you have any idea what that was all about?" Kathryn asked.

"No idea, Captain," Kes replied.

Chakotay and the Doctor walked out of the office, the former's face grimacing in confusion.

"What was that all about?" Kathryn asked. The Doctor nodded at Chakotay.

"I don't know how to tell you this, Kathryn but... you're pregnant."

Everyone in the room fell silent for a couple of minutes.

"But... how?" Kathryn stuttered finally.

"Well, it all starts when..." the Doctor started blabbering, looking a too enthusiastic. He trailed off when the three people stared at him in disbelief. "Oh of course, you know all that already."

Kes tried her best not to giggle, Kathryn's death glare soon resurfaced. "This isn't possible, we haven't even..." her glare moved towards Chakotay. "How is this possible!?"

"I er, I don't know," he stuttered.

"Oh, I get it. Well if that's the situation then I don't know how it could have happened," the Doctor said.

"Maybe we should evaluate those scans again, Doctor," Kes suggested. The Doctor nodded and they both headed for the Doctor's office.

"Well, any bright ideas?" Kathryn asked.

"Nope. It maybe just what people call a miracle," Chakotay said.

"A miracle!" Kathryn screamed.

"Kathryn, it's not that bad, you know," Chakotay said quietly.

"That's easy for you to say, you don't have to put up with anything," Kathryn said huffily.

"Yes I do, I'll have to put up with you complaining about not having enough coffee," Chakotay said. Kathryn looked at him like he was a fly in her coffee. "The Doctor said that you'll have to cut down to one cup of coffee a day." He got ready to duck.

Everyone aboard braced themselves as a loud "what" shook the ship.

Chakotay was shaking quite badly at this point, "I'm sure you can live with decaffeinated."

Unknown to them the omnipotent Q was watching, with his head sticking through the closed doors. He stepped back to the corridor outside, his laughter echoed down the corridor as he walked along it. "Poor Chuckles, he's not going to last the day."

The doors opened up, Kes peeped her head out. She watched as Q clicked his fingers to make himself disappear. Her face full of concern, "is this what you were talking about?"

"Kes?" the Doctor called from his office.

"Yes Doctor," Kes replied back to him, then stepped back inside.

Q reappeared again in front of Sickbay, he folded his arms and fixed his eyes toward the door. A booming voice spoke from out of nowhere, "Q!"

"Yes, your excellence," Q uttered with a drip of sarcasm in his voice.

"The Ocampan woman," the booming voice continued.

"Yes yes, I know," Q muttered, rolling his eyes. He clicked his fingers to disappear again.


Present Day

Kathryn's eyes narrowed as she moved her death glare to maximum level. "Just send over Tuvok to join me, and keep your mouth shut. If you fail at these, I'll send some Borg over to take care of you."

"Um, yes ma'am," Chakotay's voice turned into a squeak. The viewscreen changed to show the Borg ship standing still in front of them, it soon took off into warp.

"Matching speed and course," Tom said quietly. While typing at his panel, his eyes widened. "They're on route out of their space, in the right direction may I add."

"They're co-operating," Harry said in utter disbelief.

"Suddenly the Borg or Species 8472 aren't so scary," James said with a smirk.

Tom's whole body shuddered, "man, I hope she's due that baby pretty soon. I wouldn't like to be you, Tuvok."

Tuvok raised an eyebrow again, "Commander, I will head for the transporter room."

"Alone?" Tom questioned, turning his chair so he could look towards the Vulcan. "Are you insane?"

"That wouldn't be logical, " Tuvok replied.

Once he had gone, Harry's face broke into a smile. "Interesting that he didn't seem concerned about the Borg side of the mission."

"Harry, the Borg are probably Janeway's bitches now. Nobody messes with the bun, TM," Tom said, trying to put some drama in his voice.

"She hasn't had the bun for months now, that joke makes no sense," James commented.

Chakotay finally got the nerve to speak again, sighing slightly, "welcome to Fifth Voyager."


Eleven Days Earlier
24th February 2373

In the Ready Room Kathryn sat behind her desk, trying to drink a cup of what was obviously not coffee.

The door chime went off, much to her relief. The cup was slammed down, spilling some of the contents on the desk. "What?"

The doors opened, James walked in. "What's up?"

Kathryn's relief soon faded, her face turned to stone. "What's up? What's up!? I'll tell you what's up shall I!?"

James looked a little nervous, "um, wow."

"I've had nothing but complaints from Harry about your behaviour. Just because you're on the nightshift, doesn't mean you have to be, you know, yourself!" Kathryn yelled, almost spitting across her desk.

"Harry?" James looked confused. "Harry was there?"

Kathryn blew a fuse, "Harry's in charge of the bridge night shift, you dolt!"

"Oh, didn't notice him," James said. "Though I did notice an odd squeaking noise every now and then, was that..."

"Don't give me lip, don't ever!" Kathryn shouted at him, now rising to her feet. "You think you're so great, well I'll tell you, you're not! I was doing you a favour by taking you off Security, but god help me I don't know why. So guess what?"

James pulled a worried face, "um, you're going into labour? Please."

"I wish!" Kathryn snapped. "No, you're going back to Security cos you are no good for anything else. Well that and pissing people off!"

"Why mix a compliment into a telling off?" James asked, sounding confused.

"Ugh!" Kathryn groaned. She marched up to him, pointing a finger right in his face. "You, I don't know what I'm going to do with you. You just, ugh annoy me so much."

"Everything annoys you," James pointed out. "I'll tell you what, I'll go have a coffee in your honour. Will that help?"

All Kathryn could see was red, her hand doing the pointing twitched, her left eye did the same thing. Luckily for James the intercom noise sounded.

"Chakotay to Janeway."

Kathryn pulled the commbadge off her chest, while still staring at James. "Oh my god, WHAT!?" she screamed into it.

"Um, I was going to invite you to Engineering to see it, but I'll just tell you. We've entered Borg Space, bye. Chakotay out."

"What!? The Borg, getting in my fricking way. I'll teach them!" Kathryn ranted. She then noticed James had snuck out while Chakotay was talking to her. "That Indian asshole ruins everything!"


Meanwhile in the Security Office, one Security officer had plonked himself on the desk whilst Craig and another sat nearby on the seats. The man on the desk was in the middle of telling them a joke, whilst holding out his hand. "And then he said, I shall give you 'dis pear!" He burst out laughing like he never heard it before, his audience were less than impressed.

"What's so funny about that, it sounds kinda mean," the other security officer said.

"I've had better things for a birthday present, that's for sure," Craig muttered.

The wannabe comedian jumped off the desk, staring bewilderedly back and forth between his team mates. "Oh my god, guys. This, dis pear. Jeez," he almost whined, holding out a hand again. "Despair's not a wonderful present, Jesus Christ guys."

"This is almost as bad as your abs jokes," Craig said with a shrug of his shoulders. This made the crewman laugh for a while, again like he'd never heard his own jokes before.

"Pears aren't wonderful either," the other security guy mumbled to himself.

"If it's 'dis pear you want," the joker sniggered to himself. "You guys just don't appreciate good humour."

"Pears would be a crummy present, so it kinda fits. Both despair, pear, are obviously not wonderful," Craig said to his other teammate. "Not funny still."

"No that's not it, it's just word play you idiot. Having the villain of the story talk about pears is funny, god!"

"Thompson, quit your day job and don't try to be funny," Craig rolled his eyes. The guy next to him nodded in agreement.

The doors opened, making all three men jump in shock. Craig calmed down quickly, while the other two looked very tense.

"Oh my god, what are you doing here? We already replaced you!" Thompson stuttered, pointing at Craig.

"Yes, we have enough pears already," the security guy added on. He and Craig laughed, giving each other a high five. Thompson glared at them.

James stared at them all, raising an eyebrow. "Are you guys on Janeway's share of the coffee?"

Thompson ignored him, and yelled at his coworkers, "it's dis pear, stop stealing my joke! You said it wasn't funny!"

The intercom beeped across the entire ship;

"All you people hogging the coffee, stop it! I know who you are! IT'S NOT YOURS! If I can't have it, doesn't mean you worthless lumps can! Janeway out."

"A pep talk is always appreciated," Craig muttered.

"Oh oh, that's just reminded me of another joke," Thompson said. His team mates turned to stare at him, shaking their heads. "Fine, but it was a good one. Foster here would have loved it."

"Yeah, don't bring me down to your level," the security crewmember said.

Thompson pouted his lips, folding his arms tightly. He looked up at James, "so ... seriously, what did we do to deserve this honour?"

"I was going to give you some advice, but looks like Janeway's already done it," James said with a shrug of his shoulders.

Craig and Foster smirked at each other. Thompson breathed out through his nose, and cocked his nose up. "Ok thanks, now so long."

"Jeez Thommy, what's with the pear up your butt?" Craig questioned, trying not to laugh until he finished. Foster snorted with laughter.

"Seriously guys, pears?" James said with confusion.

Thompson's face had turned red, either with rage or embarrassment. This just made his team mates laugh even harder.

"Erm yeah, so... I'm rejoining you guys," James said. The new colour in Thompson's face left quicker than any coffee in Janeway's cup. "Kicking you when you were down seemed like fun."

"Oh god," Thompson stuttered. "You're joking right?"

"It's no 'dis pear joke, that's for sure," Foster snickered.

James raised his eyebrow, "despair? Really, that's weak."

"I'd like to see you do better!" Thompson snapped.

"Chakotay to all hands, battle stations. All senior staff report to the Conference Room. I repeat, all hands battle stations."

"Well you heard him," Craig sighed, wiping the tears of laughter from his eye. He and Foster jumped to their feet.

"Yeah, let's mosey," James said.

Thompson smirked, "oh please. Couldn't you have come up with something a little more badass?"

James stared in his direction, full of thought. "Yeah sure." He threw a light punch into Thompson's face, he fell backwards to the ground unconscious. "Let's go." Craig looked on in shock while Foster looked indifferent, like he was used to it.

"Yes, let's," Foster said happily enough. He walked out.

"Um... what just happened?" Craig stuttered as James followed Foster out of the office. Thompson's unconscious form groaned.


Present Day

"I've replicated nearly ten million Borg nanoprobes, each of them reprogrammed to my specifications, each capable of targeting the alien tissue."

Chakotay looked up from medical microscope, "assimilating him?"

The Doctor smiled, proud of his work, "just momentarily. The Borg technology will be destroyed within seconds, taking the alien tissue along with it." The hologram walked over to the head biobed, where Craig lay. His skin was covered in tendrils and other horrific growths. "It'll be a lot better than the poor fellow being eaten alive, don't you think?"

With a sigh Chakotay remained where he was, and waited for a miracle. He watched as the Doctor's cure worked on Craig's face, clearing most of the disease away from his eyes and cheek.

"Good to see you again, Lieutenant," the Doctor said with a smile.

"Good work. Let me know when he's back on his feet," Chakotay said, turning on his heel to leave.

"Commander!" the Doctor stopped him. "Commander, I must tell you, I have my doubts about this alliance. You may have convinced the Borg the nanoprobes can defeat their enemy, but a medical treatment is a long way from a weapon of war."

"I know, it wouldn't have been my first idea either," Chakotay sighed. "Kathryn's getting more irrational every day."

"Yes well, that can happen. I did recommend two months ago that she'd be relieved of duty," the Doctor said.

"You expected her to listen?" Chakotay half smiled. "The scary part about all of this is her idea could work."

A female voice scoffed from the doorway. "As if. The Borg have transwarp right, what's stopping them from rushing us through their space and getting the weapons then? They're playing us for chumps."

Chakotay and the Doctor turned to the voice, both with a different type of surprise on their face. Kes looked around too, but looked more worried.

"Jessie?" the Doctor stuttered. "Where have you been?"

The petite, raven haired girl standing at the doorway folded her arms. The expression on her face seemed pained. "Janeway's coffee-less and full of pregnancy hormones, yet you still listened to her. You know I'm right, you thought the same thing Chuckles."

The exhausted first officer could only sigh again. "You know I don't know what you're talking about."

"Unbelievable," Jessie groaned. "Everyone I passed by is saying the same thing. We're following the Borg where exactly?"

"Jessie there's a reason why the Captain thought this was a workable plan. Voyager wouldn't even take the strain of transwarp anyway," Chakotay said.

"Right, that reason is you and caffeine withdrawals," Jessie said.

Kes stepped forward, "maybe we should quickly get your physical done, Jess."

The Doctor swiftly turned to face her, "no I'll do it, she's way overdue."

Despite the overall situation Chakotay chuckled a little. "She was on leave, Doc, relax." He walked over to stand directly in front of Jessie. "I'm not exactly loving this plan either, but to be fair to the Captain, we had no other way."

"Sick leave, that's the point," the Doctor mumbled. "Kes I'll do her physical, you replicate more of the nanoprobes."

"As you wish Doctor," Kes said, sounding uneasy. She made her way towards the lab that was behind the office.

"Should be safe now, why not," Jessie mumbled to herself. "I'm telling you Chakotay, if one drone gets within one metre of me I'm assimilating your ass first."

"Me, why?" Chakotay raised an eyebrow.

Jessie shrugged her shoulders, "because you just let this happen. I'd say grow some balls but considering the situation we're in, it's too late for that." She marched passed him to join the Doctor, who still looked very confused.

"How did we get into this mess?" Chakotay sighed to himself.


Eleven Days Earlier
24th February 2373

The senior staff gathered in the conference room. Everyone but Kathryn looked particularly tense.

"Before the probe was destroyed, it picked up a narrow corridor of space devoid of Borg activity. We've nicknamed it the Northwest Passage," Chakotay addressed the rest of the officers.

B'Elanna chipped in, "unfortunately, the passage is filled with intense gravimetric distortions. It's probably caused by a string of quantum singularities."

Tom looked a little relieved, "better to ride the rapids than face the hive."

"Jesus Christ, do you have to comment on every little thing!" Kathryn snapped at him. Tom shrunk into his seat.

"Um we're going to set a course for that corridor, and go into full Tactical Alert," Chakotay said.

Kathryn clicked her tongue, and rolled her eyes. "Good, cos I was going to suggest Do Nothing Alert. Idiot."

"I have reprogrammed the phaser banks to a rotating modulation, but I suspect a Borg vessel will adapt quickly," Tuvok added.

"Good job, genius," Kathryn muttered.

Chakotay decided it was best to ignore her, "we can use every edge. Ensign Kim?"

"I've already configured the long-range sensors to scan for transwarp signatures. An early warning system," Harry replied. A plastic cup came into contact with his head. "Ow, why?"

"Whyyyy," Kathryn made a fake whine. "What do you want, gold stars? We're out of junior school, kid."

Chakotay looked at the ensign with some sympathy. "Good work. Doctor, how are you coming on the medical front?"

"I've analysed every square millimetre of the Borg corpse we recovered seven months ago. I'm closer to understanding how their assimilation technology works, and I might be able to create some sort of medical defence," the Doctor proudly replied.

"Where were you eight months ago?" Kathryn grumbled at him. "I should delete and replace you with a program more useful, like a tea machine."

"This is your top priority, so redouble your efforts," Chakotay said, his resolve slipping. "Neelix, I doubt we can resupply the ship any time soon."

"No problem, sir. I'm working on a plan to extend our food and replicator rations," the Talaxian replied.

"Yes, we should all commit suicide, it's our only hope," James commented from the doorway.

Kathryn slammed her hand on the desk, "god damn it, I didn't ask for backup!"

Chakotay covered his face with a hand, "you're not even on senior staff anymore."

"Yeah well, Thompson's telling his jokes again," James shrugged his shoulders.

Neelix looked at his neighbour Tuvok, looking quite upset and a little confused. "What does suicide have to do with food supplies, that's just awful."

"Oh cry more, won't you," Kathryn groaned. She stormed out of the Conference Room, barely avoiding bumping into James on route. Everyone heard her even outside. "EXCUSE ME, PLEASE!" They then heard crying from another crewmember. "GET THE FU..."

"Um," Chakotay muttered.

"...OUT OF THE WAY!" Kathryn continued to scream.

"That wasn't a complete meeting, she didn't even insult me," B'Elanna said.

Kathryn stuck her head through the doors, "you date Tom, who needs to insult you?" She disappeared again.

Tom shrunk even further in his chair, "why doesn't she just punch me, it'd be easier."

"I can do it for you," James said with a smile.

"Guys stop, this is exactly what it wants," Harry said. "We need to work together and we can get through this." Everyone stared at him with raised eyebrows. "I mean she. Oh god, she didn't hear me."

"Oh Harry, now you've signed your death warrant," Tom sighed sympathetically, hugging his friend in close. "We'll go together man buddy."

"Right, and I'm apparently the gay one," James groaned.

Tom and Harry both blushed and pulled away from each other. B'Elanna groaned into her hand.

"Dismissed," Chakotay muttered. "It can't get any worse." Everyone stopped in their tracks and stared at him in horror.

"Oh well done, now you've doomed us!" Tom snapped. Harry burst out crying, Tom put his arm back around him to comfort him. "Look, see what you've done."

"We're in Borg Space, our Captain is caffeine free and pregnant, and we have an ex villain missing. How the hell can it get any worse, be realistic," Chakotay snapped. Harry's sobs deafened the room, everyone else just looked mad.

"Ex villain?" James muttered. "Damien counts as villain material now?"

"Yeah that's quite a stretch," B'Elanna commented.

"Haha, you've made a huge mistake. Now you will suffer the pain of my greatness," a gruff male voice said. Sat in a darkened, partially damaged corridor was a man with scruffy brown hair. His dark eyes focused on a screen he held in his hands. His fingers moved across the few buttons on the side of it.

"Here's our chance for an all out attack!" a girl's voice yelled from the screen, which was in fact a PSP.

"Mwahahaha, yes yes," the man laughed, pressing the x button.

Behind him another figure shuffled closer to him, very slowly. "Damien."

"Shush!" the man hissed, with his spare hand he picked up a tiny pot and spoon. The device was placed on his lap as he dug into the pot with the spoon.

"In my day we used our hands to eat yogurt," the figure said in a slow, old voice.

"Uh huh," the man was barely listening. He shuffled around to face him anyway, picking up his PSP again. "Any minute now."

The older figured looked confused. Suddenly a blue swirly portal appeared behind him, the gravity of it dragged him inside. Minutes later it closed.

"Mwahahahaha," Damien laughed. "I knew sitting on Deck Thirteen would get rid of that codger eventually. Now I'm free to get on with my dastardly plans in peace." A growl caught his attention, he looked down at the PSP with an evil smile on his face. "Oh you're picking a fight with me, how foolish."


Seven Days Earlier
28th February 2373

Kes walked back from the lab and through the office, rubbing her chest uncomfortably. Her outfit was strangely skin tight, and it was making it difficult to breathe. "That's the last time I accept a birthday present from Neelix."

She felt a presence behind her, it unsettled her so much it sent a shiver down her spine. Slowly Kes turned her head to the side, what she saw made her scream.


The turbolift doors shot open. Tuvok stepped onto the stressful bridge, Chakotay looked over his shoulder and sat up. "How is she?" he asked.

"Unsettled, and uncertain. Over the past two hours, she has experienced several telepathic visions about the death of Borg, and the destruction of Voyager," Tuvok replied.

"Some sort of premonitions?" Chakotay questioned, a frown now planted on his face.

"Possibly," Tuvok responded.

"Pfft," Kathryn grunted. "She's just trying to steal my thunder, just keep us going to the debris field Mr Parasite."

"Yes," Tom sniffed, wiping his eye with his hand. "Ma'am."

"Is it crunch time already, Eugene?" Kathryn growled at him. She cracked her knuckles.

Tom's eyes widened, "no Captain."

"Captain!" Harry looked up from his station, panic set in his eyes. "Long range sensors are picking up transwarp signatures, four point seven light years distant. Closing from behind."

"I'm so glad Danny got transferred off the bridge," Chakotay commented. "Red alert."

Kathryn jumped out of her chair, the expression on her face almost like the girl's from the Exorcist. "Did you just yell at me, Crewman Kim!?"

Harry's eyes widened to inhumane levels, "no, no Captain."

The lights on the consoles began flickering on and off, the sound of the engines slowed down to nothing. "What's happening?" Chakotay asked.

"Even the computer's scared of the Captain," Tom replied. "We've dropped out of warp."

Kathryn dropped herself back in the chair, this made Chakotay jump almost out of his. "Bridge to Engineering, you'd better have a good explanation."

"Some kind of subspace turbulence is preventing us from creating a stable warp field. How's that?"

"Are you being cheeky with me?" Kathryn growled. The entire ship started to shake mostly in synch with Harry.

"Turbulence is increasing," Tuvok said.

"Whatever would we do without you?" Kathryn said, rolling her eyes.

"I'm reading one Borg vessel," Harry said. His eyes widened again, his face getting paler by the second. "Make that two, three. No... four."

Kathryn jumped to her feet, and marched over towards Opps. Harry backed into his station, fearing his end was near. "For god's sake, can we hire somebody who actually passed infant school maths at the opps station!? You useless..."

"There's five Captain," Harry squeaked, interrupting her.

"Are you sure?" Kathryn asked in a fake sweet motherly voice. Harry could only nod.

"Going to We're Screwed Alert," Tom muttered.

"Shields to maximum!" Chakotay ordered.

"They're in visual range," Tuvok said.

Tom shook his head, "yeah I don't think we'll be doing that."

Tuvok ignored him and changed the view screen. Everyone who dared to look saw the back end of Voyager followed by an army of what looked like badly damaged Borg Cubes. They closed in fast regardless.

"Oh my god," Chakotay said quietly to himself.

"Now we're definitely on Piss My Pants Alert," Tom said. Little did he know Kathryn was standing behind him. She hit him across the back of the head with a decaf coffee jar.

Everyone were tossed back and forth as the Borg ships flew straight passed Voyager, some within only a few hundred metres of them, tossing it around. The cubes disappeared into the distance as fast as they appeared.

"Wow, any damage?" Chakotay asked, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

"Shields held. Warp engines are coming back on-line. All primary systems are stable," Harry sighed in relief.

"Stand down Red Alert," Chakotay also sighed.

"They seemed in an awful hurry, didn't they?" Tom said while rubbing his sore head.

"They looked damaged," Harry stuttered. "That's worrying."

"Yes, Harry keep an eye on them. I want to know what's happening," Chakotay ordered the Ensign. He nodded.

Kathryn had steam coming from her ears. With her hands on her hips everyone knew she was going to explode any second.

"If we needed any more evidence that we've entered Borg space, I think we just got it," Chakotay said.

"Are we not good enough for those brain dead simpletons?" Kathryn snapped, her face turning very red.

Chakotay looked very nervous, "um, you'll be in your Ready Room."

"Damn right I will!" Kathryn screamed, she stormed off into her office. Everyone could still hear her voice when the doors closed behind her, but they felt a little better that they weren't in arms reach.


Seven Months Earlier
21st August 2372

The Conference Room:
B'Elanna stood at the wall panel showing some long range scans on the screen. Kathryn, Tom, Chakotay, Tuvok, Neelix and Kes sat around the table.

"Commander, you and Ensign Kaplan take Shuttle Sacajawea on the dilithium mission," Kathryn said after B'Elanna was finished.

"Didn't we do that last week?" Neelix asked with confusion.

"It's what Voyager always does. Well that and kill off redshirts," Tom said, shedding a tear. "Kaplan, we shall miss your beauty." Everyone rolled their eyes.

"You're forgetting setting a course to the Alpha Quadrant," Kes smiled.

"Fine! Commander, you and Ensign Kaplan take Shuttle Sacajawea to do a survey mission of the Necrative Expanse, or whatever this dump is called," Kathryn said.

"Isn't that what Harry, the Doc and that doomed unknown is doing?" Tom questioned. "Another hottie bites the dust."

"For god's sake! Commander, you and Ensign Kaplan take Shuttle Sacajawea so you can crash it, then we finally have an excuse to build the Delta Flyer," Kathryn snapped.

"Finally, a solid plan," Tom smiled.

Tuvok raised an eyebrow, "Captain maybe we shouldn't send out another junior officer, we do not have many left."

"I'll go in her place," B'Elanna said. "After all, the real reason for the mission is the ore on that planet."

Kathryn raised an eyebrow, drumming her fingers on the table impatiently. "Here I thought all we ever looked for was that trillithium."

Chakotay passed her a smile, "planning on blowing up a small star are we?"

"Captain, it also isn't a good idea for Commander Chakotay to leave Voyager. You could easily fall ill right now. If that would happen, he has to take command of Voyager," Tuvok said.

Kathryn blew a fuse as she jumped out of her seat, sending it hurtling backwards into the wall. Her hands fell to her hips as she tried to compose herself. Everyone else in the room froze, trying to avoid eye contact. "This is the Doctor's doing isn't it? What did he tell you, I'll delete the hell out of him."

"Oh this is too interesting, tell us more Tuvok," Tom said with interest. Everyone stared at him, not believing even he was that stupid.

Chakotay quickly came to the rescue before Kathryn's death glare became literal, "Tom, you go with B'Elanna instead of me. Now please."

"What did I do?" B'Elanna grumbled. She and Tom both left the meeting, Tom decided to hang back for a few seconds to check her out.

Kathryn didn't move her death glare away from Tom as they left. "How are our other two shuttles?" she asked like nothing happened.

"Harry checked in twenty minutes ago, mentioning something about beaming the Doc's emitter and camera into space," Chakotay smiled warmly. "However James hasn't checked in with his shuttle."

"Get on that," Kathryn ordered.

"They were just on a few days leave, I think. They don't really have to follow mission protocol," Chakotay said.

"Out here, we really do," Kathryn sighed.


Aboard the shuttle Sacajawea sat a very angry looking B'Elanna, and a smug Tom.

"What are you talking about, B'Elanna?" Tom asked.

"That Riley was always next to you and touching you when you were asleep," B'Elanna said angrily.

"If she was, why would you care?" Tom asked.

"Who wants to be treated by a crazy person, I don't," B'Elanna grumbled.

"We're being written by one, what's the difference?" Tom smirked in his usual way.

B'Elanna rolled her eyes as she brought up her feet onto the chair, resting her head on her knees.

"What's the real reason?" Tom asked her.

"Oh please!" B'Elanna groaned. "Get over yourself Paris, only you are that in love with yourself."

"Riley's not nuts, she seemed pretty normal considering," Tom commented.

"Somebody who devotes their time to trying to assimilate the people they fight with, just to save their own asses is not nuts? That's a new one on me," B'Elanna snapped. "Not to mention the touching I mentioned."

"Oh I remember," Tom laughed at her, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "You're just jealous."

B'Elanna flew her legs off the seat, turning it around to face him. "Jealous, of what? Her stupid airy bimbo voice, her bald head, her crackpot idea that species only get along when they're connected Borg style, her blonde wig? Oh hold me back, I want some of that!"

"Nope, you just can't stand it when another woman likes me," Tom replied.

"She didn't like you. She just wanted help, and she knew you'd fall for the flirts like any chump would!" B'Elanna yelled at him, pointing her finger.

Tom for once had enough. He turned the auto pilot on, then turned his seat around to face her head on. "If that didn't bother you, you wouldn't keep going on about it like it makes you angry. There's nothing really wrong with me, but if you want to deny it, keep it to yourself!"

"Deny what?" B'Elanna said quietly. She understood right away, "I don't like you that way, at all!"

"Fine, why do I care!" Tom snapped back.

"Fine!" B'Elanna shouted.

"Good!" Tom snapped.

Meanwhile, on Voyager's bridge:
"Voyager to Shuttle Sacajawea, respond," Chakotay impatiently said, eyeing the ceiling.

The intercom finally beeped, instead of getting a voice right away they got what sounded like numerous buttons being pressed at once, and somebody's breathing quite loudly nearby.

"Sorry Commander, we were kinda... busy. What's wrong?"

Chakotay looked at everyone in the bridge, his eyes filled with surprise. "You should have got back to Voyager ten minutes ago. The Doctor's very eager to have a look at that dead Borg drone you found."

"What was that, I can't make out the signal."

Everyone heard B'Elanna laughing quietly, which made some eyebrows on the bridge raise.

"Well if I understand correctly, I won't have to wait much longer. Check in with me when you're back in five minutes. Chakotay out," Chakotay smirked.

A blonde girl sitting at the Science station opened her mouth, everyone quickly swung their heads around to face her. She pouted.


Six Days Before the Present
6th March 2373

"We're all going out of our way not to pee off the Captain, yet you seem to be goading her," Tom was saying while leaning on one of the stations. Nearby B'Elanna worked on fixing a nearby one. "Why?" She looked up finally.

"If you think how's that is goading then no wonder you've been to Sickbay more times than her," she said with a smile.

"Here we thought she was going to be the death of us, no wonder the Borg ran off with a tail between their legs," Tom said.

B'Elanna's attention went back to her station, then the tricorder in her hands. "I think we've put up with worse, don't you?"

"Yeah. What with possessed crewmembers blowing up rooms and shooting people, not forgetting homicidal holograms, loony time travel Captains from the future," Tom said, almost rambling.

"You're forgetting anomalies tearing up the ship," B'Elanna interrupted him.

Tom sighed as he folded his arms on the station, his chin rested on the top arm. "We're cursed, B'E."

"I told you not to call me that," B'Elanna muttered, glancing back at him briefly from her tricorder. "We had to reach Borg space eventually, that's not being cursed."

"What about everything else then?" Tom asked, almost smug.

B'Elanna lowered her tricorder, then walked over to stand next to him. "Are you getting old Tom? I figured you'd find this one big adventure."

"It's called brain damage and homicidal pregnant Captains," Tom smirked at her. He straightened himself up and turned to face her, "you're right though, complaining isn't going to do anything."

"I do find that pregnancy odd though, Chakotay insists nothing happened between them," B'Elanna said with a thoughtful look on her face.

"He's just in denial, any guy would if he spent any special time with the Captain," Tom shuddered. His eyes widened in horror, "she's not behind me is she?"

"No," B'Elanna smiled. She turned back to face the station. "She's beside you."

Tom jumped a mile, then he felt a tight pinching in his right ear. Before he could really react he began being pulled towards the exit. No one dared to help him out, no matter how much he screamed out. Two unfortunate crewmembers walked into Engineering right at the same time Kathryn wanted to leave.

"EXCUSE ME, PLEASE!" she screeched. The pair scrambled out of her way.

Back on the Bridge:
Everyone there were quite worried as Tom had not come back, and James had decided to sit at the helm. He wasn't doing anything, but they worried that something would happen to take them off auto pilot.

"I'm not calling her, are you mad?" Chakotay was saying in Harry's direction.

He looked very ashamed of himself, "you're right."

James laughed, "yeah but what happens if Janeway finds out that you didn't tell her about this." He pointed at his own neck and drew a cut throat line.

Chakotay slapped his commbadge so hard his chest hurt, "Captain Janeway to the Bridge please."

"Ensign, shouldn't you be on night shift only," Tuvok muttered.

James shrugged, "not anymore."

"Need I remind everyone, something strange is going on," Harry butted in.

"So, that's the series slogan isn't it?" James said.

"Nah, it's probably now writers block's a bitch," Harry commented.

The turbolift doors opened and the atmosphere on the bridge turned very chilly.

"What was so important that you'd interrupt my Me time!?" Kathryn snapped, still holding Tom by the ear.

Everyone looked very worried, well everyone but James who seemed to enjoy Tom's misfortune.

"Um, we've reached the debris field. I figured you'd want to be kept in the loop," Chakotay stuttered.

"I don't care about that!" Kathryn snapped. Everyone turned to glare at James, he didn't look bothered though.

"See, I told you. But you had to open your big mouth," Chakotay grumbled quietly at him.

The vein on Kathryn's forehead popped, "you weren't going to tell me about this!?"

Chakotay looked confused, "but you just said..."

"Don't you snap at him you giant ape!" Kathryn snapped. "Your job is to tell me about these things, don't take your uselessness out on your crew!"

"What a shock, you're on his side," Chakotay mumbled. His eyes widened when he realised he spoke out loud instead of thinking. He ran as fast as he could into the Conference Room.

"Um, Captain?" Tom squeaked, his face red with pain.

Kathryn just shook the hand she held him with, "shush you!"

"Shouldn't I... drop us out of warp... get us closer?" Tom cringed as he spoke each painful word.

"I already did," James said with a shrug.

Kathryn's face stiffened, her head slowly turned to face him. "What?" Everyone else ducked into a hiding place, poor Tom could only just lie there.

"Chakotay told me to," James said, not looking worried at all.

"That bast..." Kathryn snapped. She threw Tom to the side and marched over to where Chakotay was hiding.

"Damn you James," everyone heard him groan behind the door, then they heard a transporter beam.

"I'll get him later," Kathryn grumbled.

Harry peeped his head above opps, which was beeping at him. "We're there."

He changed the viewscreen. Everyone gasped in shock, well everyone but Kathryn who looked happy for once. The entire debris field was filled with pieces of Borg Cubes, small and huge alike.

"Janeway, what have you done?" James said.

Kathryn narrowed her eyes, Harry quickly came to the unintentional rescue. "There's no lifesigns."

"Captain, I'm detecting two residual weapons signatures in the debris. One is Borg, the other is of unknown origin," Tuvok reported.

"Who could do this to the Borg?" Tom asked, rubbing his stretched ear.

"Someone obviously more powerful than them, I didn't pull on your tiny brain did I Paris?" Kathryn grumbled.

Harry looked his optimistic self for the first time in a while. "But they did it; looks like the remains of fifteen cubes! We might've just found our ticket through Borg space. An ally."

"God how old are you, five?" Kathryn snapped at him. "Where's the proof that they're good guys?"

"You've done the age jokes already with him," James said.

"Why, why?" Harry stuttered.

"I'm bored," James shrugged.

"Then why don't you insult him for a bit," Kathryn grumbled. "I'm getting so sick of his chirpy little face." Harry's eyes widened.

Tom stumbled over to the Helm, "scooch!" James stared at him in amusement. "Please?"

"For god's sake, be a man Paris!" Kathryn snapped. She turned to Opps, "let's take a closer look, Kimmy!"

"Um," Tom mumbled. He stood up straight, and folded his arms. "Move out of my chair, shrimpy!"

James raised his eyebrow, he pushed him in the chest and he fell over in an amusing heap. His arm slightly nudged Kathryn's leg. Everyone cringed when she delivered a kick in the chest in exchange.

"I'd like to know what kind of weapon could destroy the Borg," Kathryn sighed, putting an arm on her hip. She put her left foot on top of Tom's head, this made him squeal briefly. "Is it breathable in that Borg debris?"

"Affirmative, they have pressure shields all around the damaged sections," Tuvok replied.

"Ok, get Chakotay and take that little whiner with you," Kathryn said.

"Which Captain?" Tuvok asked.

"Gee thanks," Harry mumbled.

"Well done Harry," Kathryn snapped. "You've just volunteered over Tom, enjoy."

All the colour in his face drained, "um, yes ma'am." He and Tuvok left in the closest lift.

"James get your useless ass to Tactical," Kathryn snapped, pointing towards Tuvok's station.

"Sure sure, I can eavesdrop on Harry crying for his mummy," James said as he got out of the Helm chair.

Tom groaned underneath Kathryn's heel, she huffed as she stepped off him. "Can't you just say yes ma'am, or yes Captain like everyone else? It's always a stupid remark with you!"

"Ok," James said, looking slightly deflated. "Yes your majesty."

Kes stepped out of the turbolift. Her eyes were wide, her face a lot paler than usual. Before Kathryn could explode again she spoke up. "Captain?"

"Jesus Christ, what now?" she groaned, turning to face the newcomer.

"I saw Harry, he was screaming," Kes replied, her voice sounding dazed.

James looked at her with a smirk, "yeah, Janeway sent him to a Borg Cube."

"No," Kes mumbled, she tried to shake off her daze. "A premonition."

"Yes that doesn't surprise me, the little wuss," Kathryn muttered. "What did he do, trip over something?"

"I don't know. It wasn't Borg, he was here," Kes sighed. "Something terrible. I don't think anyone should go there."

Kathryn looked deep in thought, this worried everyone. "We need to find out who destroyed the Borg, before we find out the hard way. Fine, James go relieve Harry. Tell Tuvok to bring another Security team member, Chakotay to come back to the bridge."

Everyone else on the bridge looked over to the Science station, like they were expecting something. Tom realised first, "oh yeah, Danny's in Engineering."

James sighed as he headed for the turbolift Kes stepped out of. "Fine, I'll go rescue Harry from the evil tripping incident."

"It's just not the same without her," Tom continued, without hearing him.

"What's so rude with what I said?" Kathryn asked, raising an eyebrow.

James' eyes widened as he stepped into the turbolift, "don't ever tell me."


About ten minutes later B'Elanna stepped off the turbolift near Tactical, she took over an unknown person manning it. The intercom was buzzing with noise from aboard what was left of the Borg ship; as well as footsteps from the awayteam.

Kes was sitting in Chakotay's chair looking very anxious, while he stood nearby with his arms folded.

"Holy crap, it's the Leda incident all over again!" Craig's voice muttered.

"You weren't even there," James' muttered.

"What are you toads talking about?" Kathryn huffed.

"The Borg, the drones have been chopped up into bits. But here's the weirdest part, they're piled up like. I don't know what like," Craig replied.

"Toads? Is she running low on insults?" James' voice asked.

"Shhhh, she can hear you!" Craig's whispered.

"These bodies are reminiscent of one of the premonitions Kes described," Tuvok added on.

"Didn't Kes say we were going to die?" Craig squeaked nervously.

"Not like that I didn't," Kes said with a sigh. She heard Craig also sigh over the commlink. "Just in fires, and explosions. Nothing like that."

"Oh crap."

"We've done that one already, something new is all I ask," James commented.

The footsteps continued on the commlink. Kathryn sat back in her chair. She reached over to the side of it to pick up a lunch box. Inside were two slices of bread. Kes turned her head to watch as the pregnant Captain buttered the bread, then chucked shortbread biscuits on one slice. The poor Ocampan turned her head quickly before she saw the tomato sauce being pulled out.

"It looks like something dissolved a hole in the Borg hull. A forcefield is in place," Craig's voice said.

"This Borg is attempting to assimilate it," Tuvok said.

"Is that how they do it, eeh creepy," Craig muttered.


On the Borg Ship the corridors were in tatters. Borg corpses lay on the ground, some even still standing in their alcoves. The awayteam found two lying on their backs on the ground, each of them covered in so many tendrils their faces were obscured.

"What is this?" Craig asked as he knelt down besides them. A tricorder scan didn't give him any clues. James joined him with his own tricorder.

"They've been dead two months," he said.

"How can you tell? The vacuum of space preserves a little too well," Craig mumbled, looking a bit squeamish.

"There's still enough to go on," James replied. He pointed at the tendrils on the drones torso, "all this for example. It's still growing."

"Interesting," Tuvok commented.

"Gross you mean," Craig groaned. "How is it still growing, what is it?"

James stood back up, keeping an eye on his tricorder readings. "I haven't a clue. I'd say a life form, but there's no life signs or anything."

"A virus?" Tuvok questioned.

"Maybe, but shouldn't the virus die if it has no living host to live off?" James said.

"Maybe it's what killed the Borg," Craig commented. "I mean, it'd be ironic. They're all about taking over people's bodies and such." His tricorder beeped at him, "it looks like his cells were rotted away. He's all dried up."

"If it did kill them, maybe we shouldn't be hanging around," James said.

Tuvok nodded, "agreed. Lieutenant?"

"Yeah, I'm all for it," Craig sighed in relief. He put his tricorder away. As he did the Borg corpse's arm went into spasm, touching his arm only for a second. He pulled his arm away, grimacing like it stung. "Ow, what was that?"

His teammates looked at him, then at the drone which was still moving only in the arm. It stopped after Craig stumbled to his feet. Tuvok glanced at his arm, noticing a small acid yellow coloured spot on it. "We should return to Voyager." He tapped his commbadge.


7th March 2373

Chakotay returned to the Bridge, his face giving away how worried he was. Everyone turned to look at him expectantly. Well not everyone.

"The alien DNA seems to be taking over Craig's body. The Doctor isn't sure how to stop it."

"Ohno," Harry muttered, the guilt on his face was obvious. Kes seemed to sense it, she looked over at him with a reassuring glance.

B'Elanna looked furious, she slammed her hand on the station. "You're trying to tell me that he's going to die? He's just a kid, for god's sake!"

Chakotay bowed his head, "apparently the alien's DNA can resist all forms of attack, destroying it is impossible."

"Hmm, probably why the Borg's having so much trouble with them then, they won't be able to assimilate them," Tom said to himself. A few people looked at him in surprise. "Not just a pretty face."

"Sometimes it's just way too easy," James muttered, shaking his head.

"The Doctor hasn't given up though," Chakotay said. "He's trying a very experimental treatment with Borg nanoprobes, I don't get it either."

Kathryn huffed from her chair, "if we're quite finished, can we now worry about about something far more important."

"Yeah we'll be no better off than Craig if we stick around, they could still be nearby," Tom agreed.

"No!" Kathryn snapped making the helmsman jump off his seat.

"Yep, we can't have the poor coffee supplies dying with us. Better to inject it into space as a mercy killing," James said.

Kathryn turned her head in a flash, staring at him with her blue eyes flashing with rage. "Don't make me come over there!"

Chakotay smirked as he returned to his seat. "What do you mean exactly then, Kathryn?"

"Weren't we on our way to some Northwest Passage, or some other ridiculously inaccurate name?" Kathryn replied.

"We're still four days away, Captain," Tom cringed, fearing the worst.

"So which loser should we offer to the Borg as an exchange for leaving us alone, just in case?" Kathryn questioned, staring at the back of Tom's head.

"We can only hope they'll fancy pulling a Locutus on us," James commented.

Kathryn turned her head around slowly, looking almost like her head was going to turn 180 degrees. The vein in her forehead throbbed, her eyes flashed and her cheeks were flushed.

"Nice knowing you," Tom squeaked.

"Oh so it's ok to joke about assimilating crewmembers, but not ok when it's the magnificent Kathryn Janeway. I'll remember that," James said, like he didn't really care about what would happen to him.

Chakotay groaned into his hand, "for god's sake, you'll get us all killed some day. I thought Tom would be him."

James didn't look bothered until he noticed Kathryn kneeling backwards on her seat. Her gaze fixed on him, eyes much wider than usual and mouth half open. Her hair even looked like it was standing on end. What creeped him out the most was that she was edging closer and closer to him, very sneakily.

"Oh dear god, permission to evacuate the Bridge?" Harry's voice broke.

"Well we don't really need to be here until we reach the Passage, so granted," Chakotay quickly replied. Everyone ran into their nearest turbolift like their lives depended on it. Once the doors closed they could hear her screaming mainly swear words, then a few crashes.

"James, if you really want to die there are more selfless ways to do it," Tom stuttered.

"I can't help it, I figured you of all people would get that," James said.

Tom sighed, "yes, that I do." He went to put his arm around his shoulders, James grabbed his arm at the last minute.

"No, just no," he muttered.

Tom cringed, "ok ok, ow, I wasn't thinking." His arm was let go, he held it himself rubbing the sore part.

Chakotay groaned. "Look I know it's hard for brainless idiots like you two, but either work on keeping your thoughts to yourself or die painfully. Your choice. Just don't bring innocents into this."

"You, innocent? You're the reason we've resorted to being careful around her," James commented, raising an eyebrow.

"We've?" Chakotay also did.

"Please, that was barely a comment," James muttered.

"Ugh, just don't say anything to her," Chakotay sighed. "And it's not my fault, I did nothing. We still haven't figured it out."

"I can get Danny to explain it for you," Tom smiled when the doors reopened. Chakotay marched out with his fists clenched. "Wow, that's going to be one moody kid."


11th March 2373

The entire crew clung on to the nearest thing for a dear life. The ship shook, the siren rang through the halls.

On the damaged Bridge Kathryn stood alone, stamping her foot. "What the hell is this bullcrap! Who do they think they are!" She ran to the helm, then went to Tactical. Her footsteps made the bridge shudder. "I'll teach them for getting in our way!"

Meanwhile some crewmembers edged their way to the escape pods to take their chances with the Borg.

"I'd like to get home sometime this century you slimy assholes!" she screeched at Tactical. "GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

Chakotay dared to enter the bridge, armed with what looked like a coffee.

"Just kill each other, hurry up about it!" Kathryn shouted at the ceiling. Her voice started to crack as she broke down in tears. "Why? Why does it always have to be so hard?" Chakotay bravely put his arm around her shoulders.

"I know, but we can figure it out together," he softly said, showing off the cup with his other hand.

"I don't want that fake coffee. I want this kid out of me and to explain where it came from. I want the Borg to sod off, the aliens to just pick on them alone," Kathryn grumbled, her rage slowly returning. Her nose involuntarily sniffed in the aroma of the cup. "That's real?" she said, already calmer.

"I talked to the Doctor, he said one won't kill you," Chakotay said in a soothing voice.

Kathryn gratefully took it, passing her friend an appreciative glance. "The last few days have been a blur. I'm sorry if I..."

"No problem, I just wish people who I'll keep nameless; Tom, James, would just stop talking," Chakotay said.

Kathryn smiled for the first time in a while, sipping on her coffee. "The aliens, they're using the Passage to get into Borg space. There's an anomaly right in there. We have nowhere to go."

"Let your Senior Staff figure it out, the Doctor said you should rest," Chakotay said.

"I can't," she shook her head. "Not when my crew need me, I'll think of something."

"We will," Chakotay smiled. He reached over to turn Red Alert off. "First things first, damage control."


Kathryn entered Sickbay looking a lot calmer, but with a lot on her mind. She noticed the Doctor was very busy working on Craig's treatment, so her heading changed to where Kes was standing.

"How is he?"

"The Doctor's working on a possible treatment. Craig's hanging in there," Kes replied. Her faced grimaced. "Unfortunately we can't sedate him, the alien DNA destroys any form of attack."

"Yes, so I heard," Kathryn sighed. "Borg nanoprobes?"

"They attack cells during the assimilation process, the alien cells can easily destroy them before they can do anything," Kes replied.

The Doctor walked over looking sullen for once. "I've been experimenting with reprogramming them. In some of my tests the new nanoprobes are able to assimilate the aliens cells. Their immune system still fights back, but only when the nanoprobes attach."

"Destroying the nanoprobe, and the cell itself in the process," Kathryn said thoughtfully. She glanced between the Doctor and Kes with some hope in her eyes. "Their ships are organic."

"How do you know that?" the Doctor asked, not liking where this was going.

Kathryn began to pace back and forth, she felt the coffee she had earlier starting to wear off. "The awayteam downloaded some information before Craig was infected. The Borg know very little as they learn by assimilating. A lone ship takes on a fleet, attaches itself to destroyed vessels..."

"Like the debris field," Kes mumbled.

"How does that help him?" the Doctor impatiently asked.

Kathryn ignored him as her patience began to run out with her caffeine boost. "The Borg have tried assimilating the ships themselves, same results. The lone alien finishes off the drones, slicing them, infecting them. Then they leave. They can't assimilate, they can't destroy them. They're powerless."

The Doctor watched her with worry showing on his face. "What are you suggesting, Captain?"

"The aliens, they're arrogant. They thought they were untouchable, if they hadn't infected the drone they would have been right. They've signed their own death warrant," Kathryn muttered.

"This species, they're attacking the Borg. They've done nothing to us, not on purpose," Kes said.

"No, they're going to help us," Kathryn said like it was obvious.

"How?" the Doctor asked.

Kathryn didn't answer him, she glanced briefly at Craig before turning to leave.



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