Please Note: Before I begin with the cutscenes, there's something you probably should know first. The original drafts of Heaven Sent there was no character thoughts in almost every scene, excluding Ylara's anyway. Even then her scenes were non existent in the original plot and first draft, Try Harder Next Time's finale was it for her originally. Draft 3, which became the finished episode, added in the starring character of the scene's thoughts, this was inspired when Draft 2 arrived at the Jessie interviews Craig about the missing book scene. That scene always had his thoughts there and it made me go all the way back to beginning (again) to edit the episode to match this "style".
As all of these scenes are from the first two drafts, primarily the second. The parts that were moved to the final version may not be the same after all. Once again, I will get around to talking about all of this in the trivia section, not that anyone's interested ^_^
Now, to the point... deleted scenes:
Notes: This first scene was written on the fly, so to speak, as I figured what happened to Ylara made James irritated and he had no way to really vent as he normally did (no one to blame, yet). While I was writing the second half of the Mess Hall scene (the Tom/B'Elanna family dinner scene is exactly the same), I figured the best way to show that was to make James do something I consider out of character. In the end I didn't feel right about it, he has gone through some development over S4/5 and this only pushed him backwards imo. To be honest it just didn't fit, there wasn't any need for it. Deleting this scene made it so a later cutscene could be integrated into the new version that's there now... more on that later.
Meanwhile James and Jessie were already leaving with their kids. Jessie made sure she was walking as close as she could to James so she could whisper to him. "You've been really quiet, what's the matter?"
"I'll tell you later," he answered, gesturing his eyes at the children walking on his side.
Jessie nodded, "that bad huh?"
"That bad," James also nodded.
As they walked to the turbolift somebody passed by them in the opposite direction. They ushered their kids further to the left to keep them clear of her. It was too late, they had obviously seen her and their eyes were wide with panic.
"I know, it's terrible," Annika sighed sadly. Luckily she continued walking. "Your hair used to be so nice too."
Now James' eyes were wide in panic. He silently hoped Jessie hadn't heard that. He slowly turned his head to see if she did. She wasn't beside him anymore.
"What about my hair you plastic bitch!" Jessie was already all the way down the corridor, running after Annika.
James quickly noticed he was down a kid as well as a wife, he quickly looked around to find Duncan following his mother with a smile on his face. "Oh no no no," he quickly stuttered as he went to retrieve him.
"Aaaw man!" Duncan whined as his dad caught him by the hand. "You never let me have any fun."
"Oh right, so the fights between you and Carl that I let you get away with, which I've not told your mum about, is me being boring?" James said as he lead him back.
Duncan pouted, "I never said that."
"That's what I heard," James shrugged.
"You said he deserved it those teeny tiny times. You didn't say it was for fun," Duncan argued.
"Relax, you've seen one Annika beating, you've seen them all," James said. "I could tell your mum about those fights while we're watching, could fuel the anger."
Duncan thought about it for a few seconds and folded his arms. "You're mean." He noticed his sisters copying off him while giggling. "Oh right, like you don't complain ever Amy crybaby and Sasha I want ten million dolls."
"I am a baby," Amy protested.
Sasha complained at the same time, "one, and she was pretty. Looked like mum."
"All I heard was two wah's," Duncan retorted smugly.
James rolled his eyes and groaned into his hand, there was no stopping them now.
"We didn't tantrum, you did," Amy said.
Duncan shook his head, "did not. I just don't go yes daddy all the time."
Amy pouted angrily, her cheeks puffed a little. "I'm good, you're not."
"Yeah cos you like being the favourite, I know what you're really like," Duncan said.
James lowered his hand, he was about to interrupt. Sasha however this time huffed and loudly too, "there's no favourite! Stop picking on her."
"You started it with the laughing and stuff, I was just defending myself," Duncan snapped. "She won't be favourite for long anyway."
"Nobody likes the bad huffy kid," Amy quietly commented.
"Okay that's it, stop..." James raised his voice.
Duncan was already about to reply though, "I'm not huffy!"
"Quiet, all of you!" James yelled, actually stunning all three of them into silence. The girls more so as they weren't used to their dad yelling at them. He regretted it immediately as Amy's bottom lip started to tremble. James sighed deeply to calm himself down, he knew then it wasn't them he was really mad at, and that realisation made him feel sick to the stomach. "I'm sorry, I..."
Jessie rushed back, her face all red from the chase. "I didn't catch her and I heard..." She looked between all four of her family, frowning more with each one. "What?"
Amy chose that moment to burst into tears. Jessie quickly picked her up to comfort her.
"I thought I heard you yelling," Jessie said in a hush tone.
James sighed and shook his head. "They were arguing, I... I lost my temper."
Jessie looked at him with concern on her face. "That's not like you. I mean yeah you've told them to quieten down before, but..."
"Yeah," James looked down, the shame was all over his face.
Jessie shook her head, "it's okay, let's go home." She passed a small smile to her other kids, they couldn't give her one back. "We'll talk about it there, huh? Come on."
She started to walk to the turbolift first, Duncan and Sasha second. James waited a while before doing the same. The lump in his throat was starting to throb.
Cut Scene 2
Notes: Immediately following the above scene was very basically me trying to setup the crew roster changes after the Leda was gone, and failing miserably. Some lines were used in a later scene, so some of it will be familiar. This is the original scene untouched. Like the original, this draft (I believe was the 2nd out of three) was the Conference Room characters telling the others what happened before, and this scene goes back to the present.
Harry's head was pounding. It was his first day keeping tabs on Voyager since the incident, and typically the noise had to happen then. Opps and the helm seemed to be at war as they both had two people shouting at each other at them, Harry had his own opponent sitting in the chair next to him.
"You're a Security guy, I'm the helmgirl. Go away," Naomi whined.
Nathan laughed, "as usual Naomi, wrong and wrong. So no."
"Get your own station, this one's mine," Jodie meanwhile growled at her opponent, spitting crumbs at her.
Faye pulled a disgusted face as she wiped away the ones that landed on her. "You're not even Starfleet trained."
"Neither were you," Jodie groaned.
"How would you know? I was trained when you weren't even here," Faye complained.
"I'm just a Slayer trainee, not Security," Nathan explained to a very confused Naomi. "Also I know how to fly a ship, I heard you left Voyager standing still when it was under attack. Did you see the maneuver I did?"
"You mean the one that lead the Leda to its death, yeah," Naomi said before sticking her tongue out at him.
Chakotay groaned as loud as he could, only Harry really heard him. "This is why I should be the first officer again, I could shut these morons up and sort them out much quicker."
"Whatever happened to not wanting to take orders from me?" Harry said. Chakotay nodded. "I mean, you'd much rather take orders from Tom than from me?"
"Well it's either take orders from him, or take orders from both of you," Chakotay explained.
"You're a deserter, a criminal. Why would Tom pick you over me?" Harry snapped.
"I'm sorry, did you say that I'm not Tom's girlfriend, why would I be picked over you? You have a good point," Chakotay commented.
Harry looked confused for a second, "but B'Elanna's not..." He got it finally, "oh haha, we're gay for each other. Hilarious."
"Finally!" Chakotay sighed. "Doesn't it feel better to admit it?"
Harry jumped out his seat, enough was enough. "Hey everyone stop, shut up." Nobody listened. "Quiet!" Everyone did stop but only to snicker at him, they got back to their arguments afterwards.
"See," Chakotay smiled.
Harry's eyes rolled, "it's not up to you or me, it's up to Tom. Besides, they'll listen to me in a pinch, nobody trusts you."
"Nobody's going to listen to a weasly shut up. Sometimes you need a stern commander, or at least a one that is so hilariously awful that people stop to laugh," Chakotay said.
Harry's responding sigh could have been heard in the Mess Hall. "Okay, here's the plan. The Leda senior staff and main stations operators meet with their Voyager counterparts in the Mess Hall tomorrow. We'll discuss other jobs or changes to shifts. This doesn't have to be a big fuss. In the mean time, you and I can decide who stays on the Bridge."
"Oh is the first officer job actually a part of this discussion?" Chakotay questioned with surprise in his voice.
"Sure, fair's fair," Harry smiled bitterly. "James apparently is rarely here and tends to leave as soon as he can when he is. The job's open the way I see it."
Nathan turned their way with a confused look on his face, "surely there's no discussion needed for the helm." Both Chakotay and Harry took one look at Naomi and shook their heads furiously. She scoffed and stomped off towards the turbolift.
"Suddenly our odds of surviving shoots up," Harry commented. "As for opps, I'd feel better if we had someone who knows the station well there." Chakotay smiled at him. "Not me."
"Fine, I'll leave a message for everyone. Tomorrow morning at seven," Chakotay said. Both Faye and Jodie groaned. "Well that settles it, we're in need of a new opps officer." Harry nodded.
"I feel like we've lost the plot here," Tom said.
Chakotay raised his eyebrow in his direction. "Yes I know, it's this series style but still," Tom continued.
"It has a point. It's the James is the worst dad ever part that is baffling and pointless," Chakotay pointed out.
James only rolled his eyes. Jessie however was mad enough to stick up for him. The people standing near her sensed it and moved elsewhere. "That's funny, I figured dad's that smack their kids at their mother's funeral would rank a lot higher than only yelled at their kids once."
Chakotay shrugged, "fine, second. Besides with Duncan as one of yours, I doubt it was only once. Though Duncan is a James clone, and who else would put up with that crap? You and him."
Tom groaned, he had to fix this before it became a shouting match again. "Miral actually climbed into my bed and pushed me out. I found her sleeping in my spot. It's like I can't do anything..."
"Okay, okay. I'm shutting up," Chakotay quickly interrupted.
Jessie shook her head, "no I want to hear the end of this."
"It's just him whining about it," Chakotay said.
Jessie looked a little disappointed, "oh, fine. Besides there was a point, wasn't there?" She looked in James' direction for confirmation.
He nodded. "Pretty much."
Cut Scene 3
Notes: Immediately following that ^ is a continuation of Cut Scene 1. Some of that was brought forward into its replacement scene, ie the stuff about the spell book going missing and Ylara's collapse. Again, this is the original unedited version.
Also the present day scene following it is slightly different. I had planned for a daft every character shouts and no one listens "gag", but it was going to be nearer the end but it ended up replacing this. Also this should be mentioned in trivia, but the shouting was going to be interrupted by a less than likely character accusing every main character of doing something awful in S5 and ending on the Doctor wondering why Neelix got an episode kinda focused on him when he hasn't had one since Season Two (at the top of my head anyway). I think I did have something like this in the end, but it is mostly deleted anyway.
"I know you don't like losing your temper with them, but it's not something you should feel bad about," Jessie tried to assure him. "Siblings bicker all the time, you're not supposed to just stand there and watch. You got them to stop, they were misbehaving, where's the harm?"
"Sure," James shrugged, he wasn't convinced though and she could tell. "Hitting them would stop them too."
Jessie groaned into her hand, "no, it's not the same." She moved her hand away so she could look him in the eye. He kept avoiding it though. "You lost your temper with your three kids, once, in all of five years. You are not your father."
"You said it yourself, siblings fight all the time. I didn't need to yell," James muttered.
Jessie shook her head. "Sometimes you do. I have to sometimes cos once they get going, they'll keep going until one ends up in tears or in a huff." Her hand reached for his shoulder, immediately spotting how tense he was. When he tried to move away she put her other hand on the other shoulder. "We've had this conversation a long time ago, remember? When Duncan was a baby and he was defending Kirsty by hitting Kyle. We had to do something."
"I know, I'm not saying I should never tell them off or anything..." James sighed.
"You're upset cos you lost your temper with your kids, something that you've always been afraid of," Jessie said with a warm smile on her face. "I told you long ago that it's okay to. Kids can be trying, especially when there's three with very different personalities. You don't have to feel bad about it, and you certainly didn't need to apologise if their argument was getting as bad as you said. It just tells them that they were in the right."
"I apologised for getting angry, not for that. I wasn't actually mad at them, they just..." James stuttered, trailing off mid sentence. "I was already angry anyway, they just shortened the fuse. It could have been anyone honestly."
"You were quiet all through tea," Jessie said with a nod. "What's wrong?"
James managed to escape from her hold on him and paced to the window, she could only watch his back as he did. "It's Ylara." Jessie waited patiently for him to continue but it took him a couple of minutes to. "She's dying."
Jessie's mouth dropped open, her eyes widened as well. "What? What happened?"
James could only shrug at first, "we don't know. We were talking one second and the next she was down. The Doctor doesn't have a clue why."
Jessie couldn't help but shudder as a cold chill washed over her. "Dying how?"
"He said it was too soon to tell, but he was just covering," James said. "Something to do with damage to her brain, she's been put in a coma to keep her alive. If you can call it that."
"Interesting timing," Jessie mumbled. James tuned around to look at her, he looked a little confused. "Think about it. The book Kiara left goes missing, days later something strange and unexplainable threatens Ylara's life. It can't be a coincidence."
"You're right," James said.
Jessie nodded grimly. "There's a few people on Voyager that would want to do this. We need to talk to them. It may be her only hope."
"Craig talked Kiara out of it, so it can't be them. Chakotay has a history of stuff like this," James said.
"I don't think we should discount either of them," Jessie said.
"I think we can. What happened to Ylara was barbaric. It wasn't a painfree soul swap, this was a destroying her brain while she's conscious spell. Lena wouldn't have a living body to come back to," James disagreed. "Whoever did this didn't want Lena back or knew they couldn't, they just wanted Ylara dead."
Jessie's shoulders slumped a little as she thought about what he said. "I didn't see anything like that in the book." Her head shook as she approached him again. "This could have been a spell gone wrong, or they didn't know that this would happen. Craig may have talked Kiara out of it only for her sake. Kiara may have thought that this way would keep her out of trouble with the Q."
"No, I don't believe that," James said. "What about Daniel? He's got a questionable past, and I've seen that for myself. Watchers like to do horrible stuff all the time."
"Like killing their own Slayers?" Jessie cringed slightly. "Yeah, I'd definitely check him out." She looked down towards the floor, biting her lip. "I know you don't want to think Kiara and Craig could have done this, I don't either, but if the spell is reversible we need to cover as much ground as we can."
"Normally I'd accuse Damien but..." James sighed. He shook his head. "He actually seemed concerned about her. You know Damien, acting is not his strong suit."
Jessie looked up, a small smirk on her face threatened to grow. "Damien? Caring about someone other than him or a rabbit?"
"He's always around her swapping insults, receiving punches, threats, doing favours for her to pay her back for helping him," James explained.
That didn't help, Jessie's smirk escaped and she started giggling. "Are you saying Narcissist Damien likes her? I always assumed he'd do a Johnny and marry himself or a clone of himself."
"Just a theory," James shrugged. He couldn't but shudder as one part of her sentence stuck in his head. "Ylara would never want him, why am I worried?"
Jessie tried to stop laughing but she couldn't. "No, and I'm sure Annika would have something to say about that." She cleared her throat to try to stop it, in the end looking at James' sullen face calmed her laughter down. "Okay four suspects so far. We can invite Kiara and Craig over, separately, and fish for info. We don't have to ask them directly, just ask them about the book."
"I guess I can go and ask Daniel and Chakotay before they arrive," James said.
"I don't think the Chakotay and you conversation will go down well," Jessie winced. "He'll either hide it and make fun of you, or confess to it. Either way there will be Chakotay shaped walls all over Voyager, and she's just been fixed."
"I don't like the idea of you talking to him though," James said.
Jessie shrugged, "neither do I, but he's less likely to be maimed this way."
James' eyebrow raised, "really?"
Jessie scowled at him, narrowing her eyes slightly. "Really what?"
"Well you know, you're tougher than you think," James avoided what his head was saying. The stare she was giving him was making him nervous. "I'll talk to Chakotay, he's the top suspect, and when I come back you can take Daniel. You've always been good at scaring info out of watchers. Deal?"
Jessie smiled a little proudly, "yeah I am. Fine, deal. Once we're done with those two, I'll call the other two here."
"You won't have to. Chakotay's done it, this is his style," James said.
"I don't know, he's not as bad as he was," Jessie disagreed. "He probably flipped years ago and is now in the recovery stage."
"Flipped?" James said, his other eyebrow joined the raised one.
"Mmm hmm, flipped. Cracked, done an Annika, lost his marbles. Pick whatever. Why are you still here?" Jessie mumbled, folding her arms in a huff.
James was finally able to smile, even just a little bit. "Why would I ever want to leave?"
"Uh huh, bit late for the charm and compliment act, but I'll take it anyway," Jessie said with a half smile. She waited for him to walk past her on the way to the door before letting it go. "Good luck." She quickly turned around when the door opened, "try not to kill him."
"No promises," James commented as he disappeared out of the door.
Jessie shrugged and sighed, "I wouldn't make you anyway."
"Oh I see, I was the first in your little suspects list," Chakotay said.
"You still are," James said, directing a glare his way.
Tom quickly glanced between the two. "And then Miral stole my muffin. You believe that?" This time he was ignored. "Well it was nice while it lasted."
"Do you really think I'd endanger my daughter's body just to get rid of Ylara?" Chakotay said, disbelief made his voice a little higher.
Damien decided to chime in. "Why not? You tried to vaporise her only a few months ago." Everyone turned their heads Chakotay's way, most of them had the usual open mouthed shocked expression.
"Why is everyone so surprised? It's not the worst thing he's done," Jessie said with a roll of her eyes. "That's the scariest part."
"Oh for... come on! You know I don't do things like that anymore. I'm getting better," Chakotay protested. He turned his attention to Damien. "We both know I was aiming for you anyway."
"I was thinking about bringing Fair Haven back," Tom said. A collective gasp took over the Conference Room. He grew a little nervous as everyone had their killer glares on him. "Great, got your attention again. Once again we're jumping ahead. We'll return to the suspects later. Doc, is there anything else you can tell us about this?"
The Doctor nodded grimly, "I suppose I can. We had hid a brick wall..."
Cut Scene 4
Notes: After the scene showing the Doctor accuse Damien of caring about Ylara, there's a cut to the present for a reaction. Nothing fancy. It was removed to change the pacing a little.
Chakotay tried his best but he could not contain his laughter anymore. Most of the Conference Room stared at him distastefully. "I'm sorry, I really am. It's just the thought of Damien and..." He snorted into laughter again.
"That's your daughter's body," Tom muttered.
"I know, that's what is so ridiculous about it," Chakotay sniggered.
Annika giggled as well. "He's right. Damien clearly loves himself some giant boob..."
The entire room collectively gagged, it was loud enough to interrupt her. She wasn't sure what just happened.
"Okay, perhaps we should discuss the suspects in this little game," Tom said. He already had another annoying story ready just in case they flared up again. "Lets start with Chakotay, the already has done something like this before suspect."
Cut Scene 5
Notes: This one is odd. In the draft file this looks like it wasn't even finished, and it wasn't formatted as such either. It followed the James confronts Chakotay scene, and it basically ended with another ", followed immediately (without something separating it like a place/time or a empty line) by the next scene which was definitely not Present Day. I've copied it here as I found it. It was likely lost in the copy and paste, somehow.
"Surely the fact that I had no idea what I was being blamed for then..." Chakotay argued.
"Gee, you never lied before Chuck?" Jessie taunted him.
"Fine," Chakotay sighed. "
Cut Scene 6
Notes: Finally the last scene to be removed was a different scene with Kiara and James. It was simply cut and rewritten because I didn't like it. Fortunately though when it came to rewriting it, I had the idea to have Kiara's thoughts throughout it, and I believe it was the first scene to be written with that in mind. I started the Craig one I mentioned in the beginning, but didn't finish it until after this. Doesn't matter really. Once again, I've copied it as I found it. I remember getting stuck on it and it was never finished.
"Q visited me you know," Kiara said quietly.
James walked over to her holding two glasses. He handed her one of them as he sat down in a nearby chair.
"He knows about what I almost did, no surprise there, but he's going to keep it from the Continuum," Kiara continued.
"He did always have a soft spot for mum," James said with a shrug.
Kiara nodded lightly. "Yeah, but I did give him grief for not telling me about everything. I imagine he'll want to make it up to me."
"Or he suffered the Janeway glare a little too much," James said.
Kiara laughed a little, that turned into a bittersweet smile. "I really screwed up. I was selfish. I hope you're not too mad at me."
James shook his head, "of course I'm not. I understand, everyone does. The important thing is you didn't do it."
"Right. If Lena wanted to come back then we wouldn't have lost her in the first place. I realise that now," Kiara said sadly. "If it wasn't for Craig I may have realised too late."
"Yeah," James said as the main door opened. He and Kiara both looked across to catch Jessie walk in. She wasn't alone though.
"Oh, you called Kiara here while I was gone," she said awkwardly.
"No, I stopped by," Kiara said, glancing back at James. "You wanted to talk to me about something?"
"It's okay, it was just about this anyway,"