Marill Re-Reads "The Resurrection"

The Resurrection started out as "The Corpse", sequel to the so called Voyager novel(la) Tragedy, second in the series of novellas I was never realistically gonna submit to the Star Trek publishers. Either that or it was an untitled chapter in a Kidz Trek The Voyage Home novel first. I'm not entirely sure. Nevertheless I saw this as a big movie moment, despite having specials already. I created a subsite for this story, complete with desktop images and probably spoilers. I also remember the reason for hosting it off site being that my free host was running out of space, so I had to setup a second one. Nyeh.

Anyhoo The Resurrection, while not really deserving of a movie status due to its length and other factors you'll see, still isn't a bad entry to the season. I usually enjoy reading it. Until I did a u-turn on End of the Line, it was my favourite of the movies for quite some time. I do remember it did try to avoid following the source material too much. It still copies lines and the basic plot structure though, so it's not perfect by any means. It still beats its sequel's sequel's sequel (Kiss of Death and Curse of Voyager follow this first), or rather its movie sequel Oasis of Abatua which really was copycat rubbish that even Disconnected would be ashamed of.

I think this will score high-ish, maybe challenging the top three of the season so far. However I know in advance a few things will let it down, so lets get them out of the way.

1) The Doctor's weird narration at the beginning. He won't have a clue about anything he's saying, it's really off putting and ruins an at least average episode/movie.

2) "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

3) One sided drunk kissing, with the sober side not only letting it happen, but escalating it. OMG SPOILERZ

4) Aaaw how sweet, I'll switch the Doctor off. The End. moodkiller

If you don't already know, The Resurrection was inspired by/ripped off The Mummy (1999, Brendan Frasier version). Oasis of Abatua rips off The Mummy Returns. Kiss of Death and Curse of Voyager are original entries inspired by the former. Scary But True is the final episode of the arc, which funnily enough was inspired by Tales of the Mummy/Talos the Mummy, which isn't related to those two films. What Mummy 3? What are you talking about, Trial of something, you crazy!

Back to positives, I remember The Resurrection being an enjoyable little adventure. I'm hoping those flaws I mentioned are the worst ones, I think so since they stick in my mind. If so, the episode will fare pretty well against current best episode of the season Resistance, with its pawltry 53%. LET'S DO THIS!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I've mentioned/whined about it already, lets ignore who does the narration and focus on what's said. I've decided its very minimal reboot will either change the narration to be Ardeth Bay's character, or to remove it entirely and show what's told.

3000 years ago, on the Maji Homeworld, the planet was plagued by a curse. It all started after the king's funeral. He had been murdered by a man named Iinan, who had been secretly been seeing the king's fiance, Makia. She committed suicide not long after the murder. Nobody knew at the time that Iinan was experimenting with witchcraft. Princess Unu fell under his spell and she became involved with witchcraft too.

They both were captured and hung for murder and witchcraft. Unknown to the natives at the time, Unu and Iinan had cast a spell that would make them immortal. The three cities in the mountainous area became infested with Sbaracs, which could eat humanoid flesh. The cities were evacuated. It is still unknown to this day who buried the pair in two of the cities. Of course this wasn't the end of it all.

Both souls had reincarnated, but somehow half was left behind, and they are still haunting the three cities. It is prophesied that their reincarnations would return to the cities. Iinan and Unu would use their reincarnates to fully regenerate and destroy the planet.

That is why Maji ships stop any aliens from going near the city's area. They are worried that the reincarnates will wake them up.

You can hear this entire thing in Oded Fehr's voice, can't you? Brilliant.

cough

Usually if I praise that's a tell that I'm abusing sarcasm and should be arrested. Lets have a slagging off at it.

1) Maji Homeworld. So I named the aliens after the pharoah's bodyguards? I'm not even sure if that's the right spelling either.

2) "Who had been secretly seeing the king's fiance". So it is said in ancient legends, snicker.

3) I'm barely halfway and there's two things that happen which the people find out later, where it really doesn't matter when. So what if Iinan's witchcrafterty was a secret hobby? If this is Imhotep the Mummy he doesn't kill the pharoah/king with magic. Even the dark magic'd 2017 mummy used a knife. Even if he did, who'd have the power to stop him if they did know?

And just how could the people stop Unu and Iinan doing the Hocus Pocus routine on their execution day? Also now that I'm thinking about, how do they know for certain this is what happened if Iinan/Unu haven't been revived yet to confirm this?

4) Sbaracs lawl

5) Why three cities when there are two cursees? I know Makia managed to escape this fate, so... Also  It is still unknown to this day who buried the pair in two of the cities. Clearly I forgot this tidbit as after three more episodes and a s$$$$ sequel movie, it's still unknown. Probably Makia, nyeh.

6) Yeah that half reincarnated thing could've been explained so much better. It is tied to the death/afterlife lore the rest of the series (Disconnected's reread tried to explain it). I'd explain better now but that's a job for the reboots.

7) Yeah I get that the odds of Iinan and Unu reincarnating into the same species is minute, but it's not totally impossible, especially after 3000 years. Banning aliens from the area isn't going to prevent the revival from happening forever.

8) The Doctor shouldn't know any of this. OH I LIED, BAD MARILL

"That's a load of rubbish! How could their souls reincarnate and yet still be left behind?" Morgan muttered as she slammed her walkman on the table in front of her.

Shhh Morgan, save your good questions until 2019 when Reboot Resurrection Part 1 arrives.

Morgan just rolled her eyes in response. She placed her headphones into her ears, and she pressed down on the play button on her walkman.

Okay, I know FV has had earlier examples of the above, but this feels probably only to me like The Resurrection trying too hard to be (like) a novel. Because it previously was. Then it became a chapter of one. Then finally it was an unfinished coursework assignment swapped for an atrocious random chapter of Kidz Trek The Future (aka the very VERY basic draft of what eventually became the episode Back To Normal).

So yeah, I try hard and fail harder. It's still not novel material. Why so much detail describing Morgan putting her music back on? PS - lol walkman. Oh 2001, you forever ago goof you.

"Working," Tani replied as she looked through her bag, which was full of make up.

"Drinking," Emma replied, with her usual cheery tone of voice. The Doctor sighed.

See what I mean. Resurrection is trying too hard to detail the boring stuff. If it really wanted to impress and seem like a book/movie moment, it could've redirected all this care and attention to the bloody prologue. Sheesh

Oh and Tani, stop trying to be Jessie. It won't work.

"I'll continue from where I left off. The only hope there is, if the curse is revived that is, is to find the Book of the Living. If the right passage is read their bodies and souls will disappear completely," the Doctor said. The silence was broken by the sound of Morgan's high pitched singing.

Oh god it isn't over.

Okay you're really crossing the bulls$$$ threshold here Doc, here's a medal. It's bad enough you know about an ancient legend of a planet Voyager hasn't gotten to yet (YES, I NO RITE) that aliens are not allowed to approach so it's not like he could've heard it from other aliens.

You know what's even worse about this? The sequel and the unrelated third movie (and Death of the Soul, but the movies were all demoted to specials before its release) handle their prologues better than this. Oasis it is treated like an actual prologuey flashback with a characterless narration. End of the Line starts with a Scorpion like moment. Death of the Soul wins everything with its OHS$$$SON disaster movie like opening which is quite spoilerific for me to even explain its greatness, so nope.

To top off this worseness is that it was not only pointless to have the Doctor narrate it, but it was probably done so Morgan has some insider knowledge on the events that'll go down. But she's listening to music for the cure part of the story, and manages to interrupt this crapfest with something worse; FV's habit of copy and pasting Aqua lyrics.

And why do I get the feeling Morgan will either still know what to do despite this, or she doesn't and it's never brought up as a problem whatsoever? I'd forgive it if it did go down the wasn't listening route. Heck if she says the cure is "freaky friday, things ain't going my way" I might give The Resurrection an apology cookie.

That ain't happening.

"Very well Captain. Class doesn't seem to be getting anywhere anyway," the Doctor replied. As soon as the words came out of his mouth Naomi, Kiara, Bryan and Tani rushed out. Emma walked up to Morgan's table. She pulled a headphone out of her ear.

Just what was this class supposed to be anyway? History? English - how not to write fiction? OHSNAP YOU BURNED YOURSELF MARILL

Also while I'm criticising myself, just why did I insist on keeping the ex-movies different font colour and centre formatting? I'd do what I normally do, change the episode file to the ReReads kind to make copying quicker, but worst case scenario if I accidentally save it is erasing Comic Sans for Verdana and no one's gonna complain there. Here, there's four parts that are at risk of having different formatting. DON'T SAVE ANYTHING ME, OR SAVE EVERYTHING

In my haste to get the narration taste out of my mouth, I forgot to highlight this little gem:

"Janeway to Holodeck 1. I want Morgan, Tani and Emma to report to their duty shifts."

GOOD ONE RESURRECTION, MY SIDES ARE SPLIT

"We've entered the area of space that belongs to the Maji. As expected we've been told to leave immediately, but we need supplies from the main planet," Chakotay replied. He stood up, and he stood beside Kathryn.

"We can't go to Thairo anyway. There's a scary curse on the planet," Tani said.

F$$$ it, can't be arsed with this realigning, changing colours nonsense. GOING ALL IN AS IS, W00T *makes mental note to change past quotes from orange to dark gold colour*

Anyways, cough. It's STILL NOT OVER. How does Voyager know so much about this? I'm going to assume the Maji post warning beacons with that story the Doc told word for word.

Also... back up a sec

No one named the planet Thairo. I was wondering for a moment earlier why it was called Maji Homeworld, or Maji cos I'm not that dense (now). The story could've easily slipped that in, just saying.

"Don't be silly you two. Curses only exist in horror movies like The Mummy, or in silly fanfiction stories written by crazy Voyager obsessed people who have nothing better to do," Kathryn said. Everyone looked really worried, Tom glanced nervously at Harry.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRR

"Anyway we need someway to get to the main planet to trade for supplies," Chakotay said. Morgan and Emma walked over to the console behind the command chairs.

Wait, I'm sorry what? Back up yet again.

Voyager knows that the Maji are xenophobic "as expected we've been told to leave"

Chakotay says we need supplies from the "main planet", aka the homeworld. You know Maji Homeworld aka Thairo, the one from the legends of exposition bulls$$$

Sure I buy that the majority of the crew would scoff at a curse, Chakotay may humour it I dunno, probably not. prequelspoilers; I mean In The Eye wasn't a thing back in 2001

I know Voyager has a reputation for going against alien wishes, but that's usually after some agonising dilemma, an emergency, another dangerous event, the only way home, deal with the devil etc... Nothing's happened yet and the ship doesn't seem to be having any kind of trouble, so WHY ARE THEY SO EAGER TO GET TO THE MAIN PLANET TO TRADE FOR SUPPLIES?

BECAUSE THE PLOT DEMANDS IT, GOD

note to past self; stop writing yourself into the corner if you plan on crawling out of it anyway.

"I could take the Flyer, they might not notice it," Morgan said.

"Shuttles and planets don't mix well," Emma pointed out. They both rested their hands on the console.

"I wouldn't do that!" Tom yelled out.

"Why?" Emma asked.

The console suddenly caught fire. It burnt Morgan and Emma's hands and it then died down

Oh yeah, my bad. Voyager does have something wrong with it. It came down with a bad case of Anything Can Happen For No Reason So The Plot Can Happen, itis.

Seriously. The console only does this so Emma and Morgan are injured at the same time by the same thing. omgspoilers amirite?

"It mustn't like being touched, maybe it's shy," Tom said.

"Oh very funny, Tom. If I laughed any harder I'd turn into a Vulcan," Morgan said as held her hand by the wrist.

holy stilted dialogue batman

"Then choose at least three people to go on your away team," Kathryn ordered. Morgan nodded her head. She bumped in to Emma slightly on her way to the turbolift. She stopped at the door.

Why yes, Morgan was chosen to lead the awayteam for the piss off the aliens because we're out of console not setting on fire spray. And, your point is????????????

"Jess, James, coming with?" Morgan asked.

"Er..." they both replied.

"I take that as a yes. I'll ask Craig to come too," Morgan said and she stepped into the turbolift.

For those of you playing a drinking game, yes you can take your "Marill complains about another James and Jessie being twins/cowards/both line". Bottoms up

"I wouldn't trust either of those people to pilot the Flyer," Tom muttered.

"At least I didn't crash the ship into that Borg ship," Jessie growled. Tom tried his best to look innocent.

WHAT, IT WAS A DODGY SHUTTLE

"How long are they going to be?" James moaned.

"I don't know. If they're not here in five minutes I'm leaving," Jessie replied.

It really, REALLY feels like The Resurrection was written or at least started before any or most of Season Two. This quote's the best example.

Yeahyeah Resurrection=The Corpse=Chapter 100: Lol Zombies, but neither my novella or Kidz Trek had Team Rocket in them.

Then I remember the attempt at making this my GCSE coursework and I laugh/die inside. Yep, this is an Season One era episode/special. Look forward to Oasis of Abatua, the ex Season Two episode which originally followed and was written alongside Territory *double shudder*

Don't panic, I never did finish that coursework remember? Kidz Trek Back To Normal, the chapter where they all are badly introduced FV style was submitted instead. Hahaha(how did I pass?). At some point this will be upgraded to Season Two awful. For the timebeing, it's time for one of the problem scenes. Get ready to pass out for a few hours downing those shots, you drunk

Tani had walked into the bay, she was coming towards them.

"Ohno, who invited her?" James muttered.

The Resurrection has some time for Tani stalker dribble. GO AWAY TANI

"Of course I'm not going," Tani said. She started staring at James in her usual way. "I just came to get my goodbye kiss," Tani said. Jessie groaned and she turned away. Tani walked closer to James, he backed away but the Delta Flyer got in the way.

TWO SHOTS

JESSIE LEAVING TANI TO HER SEXUAL HARRASSMENT, LOL JAMES BEING VIOLATED IS FUNNEH S$$$

PS

Jessie's Sin Points: +1

If James didn't already dominate the Counter list, he'd have had a I NEED AN ADULT Counter. Though come to think of it, if I started it immediately it would have preceeded even his Kill Count.

Doesn't matter anyway, this more than covers it since it's only written as funny/mere inconvenince/brushed aside etc when it's James. I'd say when it's guys but it only seems to be him until Season Five(omgspoilers).

Sexist Crap Count: 1

Think about it. Jessie had a pervert try to force himself on her and it was treated like it should've been; omg how horrible, an attempted rape etc... Swap the genders, make James not a Slayer and I doubt the narrative would find it funny (and spoilers yes I do remember Season Four's Angela so the "not a Slayer" isn't necessary, still though)

reluctantlycontinuing

"Er... sorry Tani, you can't because, er, I'm seeing somebody else," James stuttered.

"I'm not falling for that one again. I'll tell you what, I'll leave you alone if you prove it this time," Tani said.

"But, how?" James muttered. He looked around desperately. Jessie still had her back to him, and there was no one else in the bay.

I'm omgspoilering here but it must be said now. While I think James has a few dickish moments in this episode, sometimes because he's playing Rick in The Mummy, I'm oddly sympahetic and a little torn about the one that's coming. Jessie would prefer to seethe in jealousy than be in character and deliver a Tani sandwich to Neelix's kitchen. She only turned away, she can hear this crap Tani's spewing. We know James has issues over aggressively flirting women and who can blame him at this point; the Jill incident, another incident vaguely mentioned somewhere when he was 9/10, again Season Four Angela, and quite recently Tani's forced kiss in F9.

Adding onto those, he doesn't like to hurt women unless they're overrated fanservice attempting to kill Jessie. Unofficially (only cos I'm not sure if he's ever actively said this but I know it's his primary reason) he's more concerned in his panic if he for example pushed his sex attacker away, they'd get hurt (more than he thinks they deserve).

So yeah, literally backed into the shuttle with no choice. However, you can easily argue he's almost as bad as she is... again, torn.

"Would you believe Jessie?" James asked. Jessie heard and she turned around.

"What?" Jessie said questioningly.

"Play along, please," James mimed. Jessie looked rather uncomfortable, she eventually nodded her head.

Okay she does consent, it isn't as bad as I remembered. Why did I think he just says one line to Jessie and smooches her with no real warning, or time to say "what?"

James and Jessie looked at each other with uneasy expressions on their faces. Tani got the surprise of her life, she was watching something that she never thought she would see; James was kissing Jessie. Tani stepped backwards and she headed back towards the doors.

WHAT, NO EXCLAMATION MARK

and lol Tani, you get a brief glimpse into her mindset. She thought that James and Jessie would never make out, oh the naivety.

The doors opened and Morgan & Craig stepped through them. The sound of the doors made James and Jessie stop what they were doing. Craig obviously hadn't noticed as he walked up to them. Tani had stopped Morgan at the doors.

So we assume Morgan noticed then?

"Sorry Morgan, he's already taken," Tani said.

"Er, who?" Morgan asked, she thought for a minute. For some reason she grew angry. "Never mind, get lost Tani," Morgan said. Tani didn't hesitate, she exited the room as quickly as she could.

Does this mean that Tani will stop trying to be Edward Grey and move on? LOLNOPE

Oh and Morgan *thumbs up* you're the only one who really treats this whole situation like people should. This is not funny, it's not a love triangle like Jessie thinks, it's assault. Thanks for getting mad, that's my girl.

"I'll go," Jessie replied quickly. Craig headed towards the Flyer's doors, Jessie followed. Morgan walked up to James. She waited until Craig and Jessie had gone into the Flyer.

"You kissed Jessie!" Morgan blurted out all of a sudden.

"Keep it down, or the whole ship will hear you," James said.

Oh Morgan, you and your recapping what we've just seen habit

"What the hell were you thinking? Not to mention the fact that you did it in front of Tani, of all people!" Morgan yelled.

"Look, Tani was trying to come onto me again. I couldn't think of anything else," James said quietly.

Didn't he tell you to keep it down, Morgan?

I'm sorry James but whut? "Come onto me again"

Tani forceably kissed you two episodes ago. That's not coming onto you. She tried that and it didn't work, hence the kissrape. This is beyond flirting or coming onto you. This is straight up harrassment. Since Morgan is or was my self insert, I'm gonna recap to prove my point

She started staring at James in her usual way. "I just came to get my goodbye kiss," Tani said. Jessie groaned and she turned away. Tani walked closer to James, he backed away but the Delta Flyer got in the way.

"Er... sorry Tani, you can't because, er, I'm seeing somebody else," James stuttered.

"I'm not falling for that one again. I'll tell you what, I'll leave you alone if you prove it this time," Tani said.

SEE

"I'll leave you alone if you prove you're seeing someone else." Um yeah, be still my heart. What a flirt. I'm surprised she backed off at all.

But now even Morgan's not seeing the rapey-truth side.

"Oh this is what it's all about. That's a lot worse than I thought, one time is bad enough, but two! You're in for it now!" Morgan yelled.

STOP YELLING

Oh Morgan. You have no clue who started the Resistance kiss. No one does, but me and I can safely tell you to stop assuming he started that.

That's not the problem though, we're once again using violating Tani as a plot device to talk about and/or develop the James/Jessie ship. Please.stop

"Well can you think of another way to escape from Tani's advances?" James asked.

"Yeah, I'd punch her in the face," Morgan replied.

Normally I'd say "wtf Morgan, that's a tad overkill" but again, I can't stress this enough, Tani's "advances" (yes James, this is more accurate than coming onto. Still needs work) are very rapey, James has been very clear that he isn't interested. I think a punch in the face is deserved when she's forceably sticking her tongue down your throat... your words Jamesy.

of course pushing her away works just as well. James, the guy who can break very durable metal noses, punching a 17/18 year old girl in the face might be a tad frowned upon. it doesn't look good, does it? Morgan's the same strength so, but unfortunately less people would object if she did it (same gender/age). Personally I think Tani deserves a slap at most and if James isn't comfortable with that, Jessie should've done it episodes ago.

"I don't punch girls," James said.

Okay, no explanation as to why, no anything. Sorry.

Sexist Crap Count: 2

I think I explained it once before but James himself has yet to. Until he does, his lines like this will make him seem pretty sexist. I mean he's super powered, everyone but Morgan are weaker than him, why single out women?

*cough* he still pretty much is sexist, but plot twist alert, towards men. Very low opinion of men, deep seated hatred of toxic masculinity since his father was its poster boy and a lot of his abuse stems from it. James knows he shouldn't smack anyone around but doesn't care if they're a male. As evidenced in Saturday Night he'll fight a woman if they've done something to deserve it, and well trying to murder someone twice *thumbs up*

yeahyeah I've tried to explain this before, but hopefully that's my last time. All that and in both explanations he's still sexist, lawl.

"So I've heard. Anyway you punched Annika, and as a matter of a fact Tani's a demon," Morgan said.

"Well, so is Annika," James said.

Gotta make sure James knows Tani's a demon. Ohnoes the last time I told him was in a forgotten timeline, gotta hammer that in.

"Good point," Morgan muttered and she put one hand on her hip, she then looked at the floor in mid thought. She looked back up at James. "Anyway, if I were you I would avoid Jessie after that little incident. I doubt she's happy with you," Morgan said.

ohgod, Resurrection still thinks it's a novel. Don't get me wrong, this is probably the only notbad example of it.

and ohgod again Morgan, your reaction to this is probably why I thought James kissed Jessie without a warning until I read the scene a few minutes ago. Jessie gave her okay, stop.

"Boy, you've got it bad. You just think up any excuse to kiss her, don't you," Morgan said as she shook her head.

"That is ridiculous!" James muttered.

Yep, this is still Season One era stuff.

Try and mutter THAT IS RIDICULOUS! in whatever way you think James did. You can't without looking really stupid, can you?

"Is it? What I find most disturbing is the fact that she actually kissed you back. I didn't think my theory was accurate about her," Morgan said.

"Look, me and her, is all in the past. She didn't have a thing for me, and I've gotten over her. End of story," James said.

I SWEAR THERE WERE MUMMIES IN THIS ONE

and James

I do like how he casually admits that he and Jessie were a thing directly after Precise Timings which showed this to be true. Morgan wouldn't know about it otherwise. Way to blab when it's too late

In character though for him to basically say "she didn't like me as much as I liked her" but not blab "yeah I used to crush on her but not now!". To be fair, he's still recovering off that protest shoutmutter, I know my face spazm'd after trying it.

ANYWAY after a few lines THE SCENE FINALLY ENDS and all rejoice

Emma walked into Sickbay, she looked incredibly pale. The Doctor emerged from his office.

"Emma, this is a pleasant surprise," he said, he noticed how pale she looked. "Or maybe not," he said.

I'm sensing a disturbance in the plot devices, like all the shippers cried out at once

yesomgspoilers

Craig sighed and he headed over to the helm. He took over from James. He headed over to Jessie's station. She went over to the replicator. A Cherry Coke bottle shimmered into existence at her command, she then picked it up and opened it. Without uttering a word she headed back over to her station. She sat down not daring to look at James.

I joke but as bad as it is, at least I was trying. Though I do wonder how short The Resurrection would've been without all the doing stuff we keep seeing.

who cares about that now, advert break is over and we can now return to tonight's movie; THE MUMMY for the hundredth time this holiday season, with all the good stuff cut because we refuse to put it on after 9pm.

"Er... I take it you're still mad about that kiss," James said quietly.

"Well, if you call that a kiss, then yes," Jessie muttered without even looking at him

Now see folks, what Rick did to Evie was kinda Tani-ish. Just grabbed her chin and kissed her without warning. This conversation you're about to read is worse in the film IMO cos of that (still love you The Mummy, so glad I was too young for The Matrix). At least James asked first.

But then James has this twitchy habit of doing this;

 James slammed his hand on the station, he accidentally left a dent in it.

"I hate it when I do that," he muttered.

when he's on the receiving end of Tani assaults*. Remember, he did this before she attacked in F9. Unfortunately he did this late and everyone, including Jessie, will think he's doing it because Jessie insulted his awesome kissing skills.

classy past Marill, classy. It's not like Rick did this, he gave her a "that stung a tad" cheeky look before opening a weapons bag he had on the table, shocking her since it was abrupt. God that "The Mummy was worse" didn't last long, did it?

*note, I'm not actually sure on the reason he did the F9 version. That wasn't a statement, it was more of a coincidence being point out. I admitted in the F9 reread it was probably an attempt to show people this rapey crap can happen to anyone, even somebody as strong as James. I couldn't think of another reason. Resurrection though, what I said about Rick was very likely the reason and surely even 16 year old me would've known that would make James look like a right twat

though, maybe that was the point as the scene continues like so

"So, er, by the way, why did you kiss me?" Jessie asked.

"Tani was going to kiss me, so it was either you or her," James replied.

WHAT

Okay I take it back. The Mummy's version was 10x better

The line is, and I reference "Resurrection's problems number #2": which I thought would've been mostly copied:

"I dunno, I was about to be hanged. It seemed like a good idea at the time."

Why you trying so hard to make James an utter, clueless and fragile asshole? To Jessie no less. Remember this line and the hand slamming at the end. I dare you.

What's worse is that Jessie knows the reason. She didn't need to ask and we didn't need to hear James' very out of character and also wrong answer. For some reason I can't recall, Jessie needed to be mad at him. No the reason wasn't cos Evie stomps off after the line, cos she's forgotten about it later. Jessie's still mad later and I don't blame her

You know what, this is gonna get edited now cos yeah, it ruins the ending for me. and ruins James quite a bit, jesus. Yeah I know he is quite rude and blurts s$$$ out, but this and the angry console smash because Jessie slated his kissing is too OOC for me.

New version of the scene for comparison:

"Er... I take it you're still mad about that kiss," James said quietly.

"Well, if you call that a kiss, then yes," Jessie muttered without even looking at him. "So, er, by the way, why did you have to kiss me?"

"Tani was going to kiss me, I didn't know what else to do," James replied. Jessie stood up and she stormed off. She headed to a different console. "What? What did I say?" James asked himself.

Slight tweaking to two lines and the removal of a pointless reminder that JAMES IS STRONG, HE'S SO MACHO MAN W00T so his later scenes make sense. I'd prefer to assume that over the offended by Jessie's remark.

Finally really bad soap opera is over.

"Er... guys, I think we've been spotted," Craig muttered as he looked out the window. The others glanced out the window too. They all saw a very large ship flying towards them. Weapons emerged from it and they came closer to the shuttle. The entire shuttle shook at impact.

"They spilt my Cherry Coke! They're going down!" Jessie growled, she rushed back over to her original station.

Spilling the Cherry Coke is the new "s$$$'s hit the fan" right? I hope so, that makes more sense.

"Withdraw from our space, we cannot let you come any further to our planet," the alien said in a strange accent.

"We're just here to trade for supplies on your homeworld, we're not here to cause any trouble," Morgan said.

Yeah um, about that Morgan. Trading for supplies on closed off to all aliens cos of a curse Thairo is causing trouble. Why is this happening?

I could've done what I intended with this with a simple "stay away from that continent" instead of a whole planet. If I wanted the whole planet, don't have Voyager know this until now. IT'S.NOT.HARD

"We're in luck, we may not have to replicate a new shuttle after all. Thairo is only two minutes away," James said.

"Craig take us down anyway, we're landing whether they like it or not," Morgan commanded.

Yes because you were only passing by and had no intention of going there, but now those meanie Maji's have attacked, you HAVE TO

gosh

but at least we get an attempt at a detailed crash scene. enjoy

The Delta Flyer flew into the planet's atmosphere, the Maji ship followed them. The ship fired another weapon, it hit the back of the Flyer. The impact made the shuttle spin out of control. It fell further into the atmosphere. The Maji fired again just as the shuttle smashed against the hard surface. The torpedo exploded against the hard sandy ground only a few metres away from the crash site. A cloud of dust and sand overwhelmed the area, most of it settled on the shuttle

youtried

The Maji ship swerved to the right and flew back out of the atmosphere, and back into space.

youbarelytried

seriously, wtf, why did they leave? Are they assuming they're dead without checking? Some people deserve to be cursed

Inside the shuttle it was surprisingly dark. Consoles had gone off, one had obviously exploded in the attack since it was a blackened mess. Morgan, Craig and James were lying on their consoles, Morgan and James were unconscious. Jessie was lying unconscious on the floor, only a few feet away from her station.

God. I know the coursework I submitted instead of this was a lot worse, I knew then and was bricking it, so I gotta ask. How did you get that C in English past Marill? Bribery? Pity? The examiners had low standards? If so, quick send them Season Five. I should A+ that s$$$

Morgan walked over to James, she started shaking him roughly.

"Wake up you lazy so and so," Morgan muttered. James eventually woke up, he looked at Morgan funny.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

Shaking the dickhead out of you. Did it work?

but lawl Morgan, at least she didn't slap him awake like a certain someone I'm not naming.

She does this to Jessie too and later...

Jessie tried to stand up but a sharp pain took over her left foot, she gently sat back on the floor. James walked over to her.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I think I've just twisted my ankle

Just A Little Bit More: 1

What, just this minute? Seriously Morgan, don't shake unconscious people who have been in a crash.

"I suppose so. We've crashed somewhere in a desert. The shuttle is attracting a lot of heat, if we don't leave we'll probably dehydrate," Morgan said.

Okay I think I thought this was clever at the time, and now *shrug*. I imagine a crashed broken down car in the desert would probably be a death trap to sit in, but I imagine a shuttle made for space would have better insulation. You'd think

somebody please get back to me on this. Having to abandon the shuttle, yay or nay?

though Morgan is correct about the dehydration. They have no/little water.

"For some reason, the natives thought it'd be a good idea to build a city in the middle of a desert, next to a mountain. It's long abandoned but it's good shelter," Morgan replied.

"There's more bad news though. The shuttle doesn't have much water and food supplies, and I doubt a long abandoned desert city is going to have anything," Craig said.

Yeah building a city next to a mountain in the vast desert does sound dumb, who'd do that

Jessie tried to stand up again, she used the console beside her to pull herself to her feet. The pain kicked in again, and she stumbled forward. Morgan caught her by the arms and she helped her onto the chair.

"James, get a tricorder," Morgan commanded. James looked around, he spotted a conveniently placed tricorder. He picked it up and he handed it to Morgan. She opened it up and she started scanning Jessie. "I thought as much. She has a minor fracture in her foot. She'll have to try not to put any weight on it," Morgan muttered.

1) Okay, trying to remind myself why Jessie has to be injured. Coming up blank. Hoping it was a simple genuine attempt to make it less The Mummy rip off

2) Convenient tricorder? Why does it have to be convenient? Couldn't he have looked for one in a first aid kit, wouldn't have bloated the word count too much

3) Morgan recognises a minor fracture and acts like she knows what to do, but doesn't know shaking unconscious people isn't a good idea. k?

"We can't leave her in the shuttle," James pointed out.

Gee, described as little Jessie can't walk. Two Slayers, another bloke. This is toughie. What to do, what to do

Craig came back into the room carrying two bags.

Oh nm, there are two bags to carry. Sorry Jessie, nice knowing you

"Yeah we just need to sort a problem out. James, you help Jessie get to that city. There problem solved, let's go," Morgan said

Speaking of bloating the word count. er I mean BY GOLLY, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT

"What's her problem?" Jessie asked.

"I don't know. She seems a little, how can I put it?" Craig muttered.

"Bad tempered," James replied.

You guys have crashed in the desert. Morgan snapped at James for his dumb "we can't leave Jessie here cos all of our arms have fallen off" comment and shook two people who could've fractured their spines or had a concussion. I don't really see the out of sorts you guys are.

"Not just that, she seems a little eccentric," Craig said.

Oh, is that what we're doing here. I think you're a bit premature there Craig. Try Part 2 to pick at that plot thread.

James helped Jessie back to her feet. He put his arm around her waist, she put her hand on his shoulder, and they slowly made their way out of the shuttle.

Seriously, why can't anyone just actually carry her? Why force her to struggle and slow the group down by making her limp? Yes it's hot outside and there's little water, but James or Morgan wouldn't have any trouble carrying her a short distance. James you ninny, go sit in the corner and boil for five minutes.

"I take it you're still mad at me," James said.

"What gave you that impression?" Jessie asked.

"It was just a hunch," James replied.

I'd like that exchange but I'm still mad

"What seems to be the problem?" Kathryn asked.

"See for yourself," the Doctor replied as he looked at Emma. Kathryn looked at Emma too, she quickly became horrified with the sight she was seeing.

That's not very nice

"I have no idea. All I know is that the nanoprobes entered her bloodstream through a burn wound on her hand," the Doctor replied and he headed over to the console nearby the biobed. Kathryn slowly turned away from the biobed and she walked over to the Doctor's side.

Oh. I've been spoilt with needless and sometimes okay descriptions of stuff happening, so the not showing what Janeway and Doc are reacting to is a bit annoying

and yes, this is a dumb side plot. the shippers are stirring

"It must have happened when the console set alight," Kathryn muttered.

"Well it doesn't matter how it happened in the first place. The thing we have to find out is is how to disconnect Emma," the Doctor said.

"Disconnect her? From what exactly?" Kathryn asked.

"Morgan," the Doctor replied

"Doctor, did you just turn over two pages at once, because I'm sure you didn't mention anything about a connection," Kathryn said questioningly.

Yeah, I was going to do my usual Season One habit of scrolling up to see if I missed anything cos I was ranting. Damn Doc

"I apologise Captain. Usually when a Borg drone is assimilated, they are automatically connected to the hive mind. But in this case, Emma became slowly connected to Morgan," the Doctor replied.

"So this means that they are both hearing each other's thoughts," Kathryn said.

Yeah, this has bulls$$$ plot hole written all over it and I knew it. But who cares, it's for a better cause. S$$$ stirring. Trust me, you'll see

Also funny bit of trivia, funny being very subjective here. Remember when I said Oasis of Abatua and Territory were written side by side, since they were meant to be next to one another in Season Two? Well what happens in Territory? Yep, Emma gets hooked up to another ex Borg and shipping hijinks commences, distracting (completely in Territory's case) from the main story.

At least in Resurrection's case it is kinda related to the primary plot, but why that is was only hinted in the prologue and that won't really have any context until Oasis of Abatua. Oh well.

Oasis spoilers; yes I'm talking about the James/Jessie/Morgan triangle which is a twisty "history repeating itself" as their past lives Iinan/Unu/Makia were a triangle as well, only Iinan preferred Makia/Morgan, which if you know what happens after Oasis is pretty damn hilarious. Believe me, Reboot Oasis will actually do something with this instead of quoting Mummy Returns.

"Yes. Emma may start acting like Morgan, and vice versa. Since this collective is small it shouldn't be as consistent," the Doctor said.

Okay this is a lot more than hearing each other's thoughts but whateves

"Well we're lucky that Chakotay, Harry & Tom aren't on that away mission with Morgan, or they would have been in for a bit of a shock," Kathryn said.

snicker, yeah wouldn't that be something!?!

"That's not actually accurate Captain. If Emma gets her usual, ahem, infatuation with the three men you mentioned, Morgan may feel it herself, for the nearest men in the vicinity," the Doctor said.

Janeway's first reaction

After remembering which men are on the awaymission

"Ohno, this is worse than I thought. Craig and James are with her," Kathryn muttered. She hid her face with her right hand.

Okay, maybe that's her internal reaction^^

"Exactly, if we don't find a way to disconnect them, those two will get a shock of their lives," the Doctor said.

You mean Craig will hi-five himself and tell everyone on the planet, while James will be filling out another restraining order citing "ffs why do women keep jumping on me, it's not funny!!!"

"I'm not worried about them. I'm worried about Morgan, what if she goes for Craig, everybody knows that he has a crush on her," Kathryn said.

Okay initial reaction LOL, later reaction "uuuuummmmmmmmmmmm" and now I feel bad for laughing.

While fine, it's sorta nice that Janeway doesn't foresee James getting the wrong idea if Morgan/Emma chose him. I dunno if it's foreshadowy cos she's right not to be worried about Morgan in that scenario. What I'm ummmming about is the insuation that if she picked Craig, things would turn sour. I'm hoping all she's really worried about is him returning the favour if she kissed him, and while yes that's not good, it's still better than what I read there.

Also a bit wary that they think Emma thinking Harry has a nice butt or something will make Morgan slap Craig or James'. Emma thinking this doesn't make her do it. I'd be more concerned about Emma shouting recaps at everyone.

but anyway END OF PART 1 YES

>> Page 2 time >>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Counters Results So Far:

Muttered Count: 21

Sexist Crap Count: 2

Jessie's Sin Points: +1

Morgan the Sue Count: 0

Annika Dies Count: 0

James Kill Count: 0

James Dies Count: 0

James Badasses Off Screen For Our Sins: 0

Marill's Playing With Her Dolls Again: Why do I keep forgetting this one? Okay, 1 for the Tani tries to smooch James only to get J/J to. 2 for the last scene cos that's just being way too obvious.

Just A Little Bit More: 1 (just twisted my ankle, ironic considering the episode has very little just's in it)