Marill Re-Reads I Know What You've Done This Season
I wonder where I got the idea for this one?!! It'll forever be a mystery.
Now this one I haven't read in years, maybe over a decade, and I haven't gone into it to look for something for continuity's sake. I remember what it's about and that's it. This will be a fresh read for me. The last time this happened it did not go well, though I expected Halloween to be at least lack lustre. This one, my expectations is for a hilarious Annika death scene. Surely it can't disappoint me there.
Oh and I've just remembered one possible scene that's in this, and yes it's a negative point if I'm right. Fortunately though if I am, the so called "twist"/reveal etc gets completely forgotten about afterwards, small mercies. Lets do this!
Lena looked around the room, as she stood near the replicator. She saw that Danny was at a small table in the far corner of the room. Duncan was sitting next to her. Danny looked like she was talking to him.
NOOOO MY PURE INNOCENT DUNCAN, GET AWAY FROM HIM
"Gotten rid of what yet?" Lena muttered.
"That orange hair, you should have dyed it black by now," Kathryn said.
But muuuuuuuuuuuuuum, I still haven't gotten to the bleach blonde phase.
"Look, I'm 17, I can do what the hell I want, so quit bugging me," Lena said.
"Fine, but you could at least get me a coffee," Kathryn said.
This works. I'll have to remember to slag people's hair colours off the next time I want a free coffee delivered to me.
"Now remember what I taught you," Danny said, just before James and Jessie arrived at her table.
"Now I'm worried, what have you been teaching him?" Jessie asked.
Yup, poor ickle Duncan's scarred for life and he's only 8 months old, at least.
"It better not have been what you were taught at the same age," James said.
"Oh yeah, and what would that be?" Danny asked.
"Well I remember that when I was one I asked where kids came from," James replied.
lol that's a good memory he has, so I bet he couldn't possibly forget something that happened when he was 1, nosireee, no plot holes here pftsnigger
But anyway, I wonder how that conversation went?
Peter: You know it was strange, I walked off screen one day and when I came back my life was ruined. Now either f$$$ off or raise your chin for a neck punching
Suzy: Uhhhhhh, look at that over there *points and runs*
Janeway: THE COFFEE IS TALKING TO ME, IT'S SPIKED I TELL YOU
"Oh, and you think I was taught how kids come to be at Duncan's age?" Danny said questioningly.
Why not, seems like James was. Peter would want him to get started asap, right
gah, I feel so very dirty now...*slaps self*
"Hey, I was seven when I was told by a friend," Danny said and she pouted.
James and Jessie briefly looked at each other with a worried expression on their faces.
Yeah, seems innocent enough but ME TOO and that's not a story I'm willing to share, only that J/J are right to be worried
"Well they didn't tell me the truth, if that's what you're asking," James replied.
"Knowing your mother, I'm surprised she didn't," Jessie muttered.
Peter: Don't look at me, it's not my or your problem, leave that to the women folk. Now either f$$$ off or raise your chin for a neck punching
Suzy: NO, I AM YOUR MOTHER
James: No, that's not true, that's impossible
Janeway: HI, I HAVE NO REASON TO BE IN THIS JOKE, I'M JUST STEALING THE COFFEE. CARRY ON.
Wait whut, Suzy is the type that would've answered this question truthfully? Maybe James' memory isn't that super duper after all, omgspoilers
"Nothing disgusting, I told you not to worry," Danny replied. She stood up from her chair. "Well I'd better be getting our lunch. What do you all want?" she asked.
"Sausages," Duncan said loudly.
I'm confused, did she teach him the word or teach him to shout it?
"So much for not teaching him disgusting words," Jessie muttered.
"Why is that disgusting?" James asked.
"Er... forget it," Jessie muttered.
ah bless, naive James is always funny
A ship that looks like the Flyer:
A timid alien was sitting behind a forcefield quivering in fear. A young teenaged girl walked up to the forcefield.
Heh, for once I haven't a clue or remember what's happening, other than the teen girl part.
"Please, I don't want any trouble. Please let me go," the alien muttered.
The girl lowered her head and she shook her head slightly. As she did so she placed one hand on her hip.
"You went into the nebula but you don't want trouble," she said.
This dialogue seems familiar
Oh god, 2/1 odds she starts reciting a motto.
"Just give me your ship willingly, and I'll let you live," the girl said.
"But if you kill me, you'll take it anyway," the alien said.
"So it all comes down to whether you want to live or die, I don't care," the girl said.
I'm still betting on this being stolen dialogue, also 2/1 odds
"You can have the ship, just let me live," the alien said.
"Wise decision," the girl said.
"Maybe it wasn't," the girl said under her breath.
The alien was wandering around the ship, attempting to work any console he came across. He went over to the helm. The girl rushed over and she pushed him away.
Um yeah, wouldn't he be a prisoner in this case? You suck at this girl
"Everything," the girl replied, and she pressed a button on the nearest console. The alien beamed away. "Oops, I forgot, he can't breath in space. Sucks to be him," she said, and she smiled evilly.
WTF THAT'S DARK
There goes my only theory too, rip timid alien
The girl turned away from the console. Her vision started to blur and she lost consciousness.
A weird misty place:
The girl looked around with a confused expression on her face.
Oh wtf, at least now it's obvious who this girl is, sorta
"Are you the Lena from Seventh Voyager," the voice asked.
Pfft snigger, yeaaaaah no. I'll let this pass for now
"Yeah, who the hell are you?" the girl replied. The audience finally gets to see the girl's face, it is in fact Lena, except with short black hair
WHY DIDN'T I TELL ME THAT FV WAS STILL IN SCRIPT FORMAT, MADE FOR TV? GOD DAMN THAT'S EMBARRASSING
"I take that as a yes. Well your search is over," the voice replied.
"Erm, okay," Lena muttered.
"You see, your crew is dead," the voice said.
Gee thanks Seventh/Fury Kes, it's gotta be one of the two surely
"Because I died with them," the voice replied.
OH LOL NM, GETTING A LOT OF JUNK WRONG
The voice sighed again. "No, you're in a telepathic link. This is the only way I can communicate with you since I'm dead," the voice said.
If this is who I think it is, and I've got to be right about this one, this ability is never used again AND it contradicts a Season Four episode. Yep, I definitely haven't read this one in a while.
"Well you want to go back to your crew, and I want to finish off what I started. If we work together we can both achieve our goals," the voice replied.
"Hang on a mo, if you're dead how can I help you?" Lena asked.
"That answer should be obvious," the voice replied, and he started laughing maniacally.
Ok got one right! I wonder if it's yoghurt time since this is technically his first full episode, cough. pleaseplease
"Hello Annika, good news. You're fit to be released tomorrow," Doctor Jones said.
YEY MY ANNIKA DIES COUNTER CAN FINALLY BE USED AGAIN
"I want to be out of here, now!" Annika moaned.
"Don't worry, tomorrow will arrive quicker than you think," Doctor Jones said calmly.
Annika growled at him, and she fixed a murderous stare onto him.
"When I said I wanted to be released today, I meant it. I'll do whatever I need to do to do that," she said.
I'm sorry but what's the hurry, this episode isn't called I Know What You Did This Time Last Saturday.
All of the characters (except Doctor Jones & Annika) were sitting at the table. Marill and Raichu were standing by the wall.
AND THEN THE WALL FELL OVER, CRUSHING THEM. JAMES WALKED THROUGH THE HOLE. THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING.
"Well I think we've sort of ruined this fanfic series by having some people so out of character," Raichu said.
"Right. Our goal is to get all of the characters we've done wrong back into character. For example Tom is going to be the, cough, loveable troublemaker again. Tani has been a bit b**chy in this season, we're going to be nicer to her and see what happens," Marill said.
Heh, this was written before Bittersweet's Tani ending so erm, yeah. Don't you mean Tani has been a bit too bitchy and I'm getting the opposite of sympathy by using her as an avatar, so yeah, suck it.
"Craig needs to chase more girls around," Raichu pointed out.
I'm getting bored. Enjoy your first negative point IKWYDLS
"I think we should make James more cowardly again," Raichu said.
"Nah, I like him the way he is," Marill said.
"Lets at least make Jessie more aggressive again," Raichu said.
"Ok, why not," Marill said.
You know what, I wouldn't be surprised if this actually happened.
Blah blah, hint that Annika is going to be around more, some prequel FVDA foreshadowing and this, my only good line in the entire series
"Anyway my cunning plan was to drink Cherry Coke," Marill said.
NEARLY 19 YEARS LATER IT STILL IS, THE BEST PLAN
They were greeted by the most hideous site.
"Oh my god, it's the pre-released version of the Fifth Voyager site that was made in Summer 2000!" Tom stuttered.
Oops, I meant they were greeted by the most hideous sight.
THERE IT IS
and yes OMG HOW HORRIBLE THAT WAS (it's screenshotted in the history section, lawl)
"Jones, what the hell are you wearing?" Tom asked.
Doctor Jones was wearing a horrific cowboy outfit, and he was smoking a cigar.
Um, we've done this one already
"Erm, Harry, just walk backwards towards the door... slowly," Tom said quietly. Harry nodded slightly.
"Yeeeeehaaa!" Doctor Jones yelled as he slapped the top of his leg. He spat on the floor. Harry and Tom walked backwards towards the door. They rushed out when they were two centimetres away from the door.
How much Cherry Coke was in that cunning plan past-Marill?
THIS IS WHY THEY DON'T SELL 2 LITRE BOTTLES ANYMORE, THIS RIGHT HERE, FU
"Yeah, I don't know which was worse. That old Fifth Voyager site that was never released, or Doctor Jones as a cowboy," Harry said, and he broke down crying. Tom patted him on the shoulder comfortably.
"Don't worry Harry, it's all over," Tom said.
"It couldn't of been that bad," Kathryn muttered.
"It was made using Publisher 97," Tom said.
"I stand corrected," Kathryn said.
It could've been worse, it could've been done in Excel. I like ma tables and automation
"Captain, it was so old, sniff, it didn't even, sniff, have Jessie, James, Triah and Tani in, sniff, the cast page," Harry muttered, as he tried to dry his eyes.
"Wow, that is old," Kathryn said.
"It even had that old cast picture that Marill did when she didn't have a talent for making Episode Banners," Tom said.
talent, ha I slay myself
Some trivia for you: the picture I think he's talking about was when only Morgan and Craig were MC's (Kiara would become one when when older, but really it was cos I couldn't find a full body shot of the kid actress to paintshoppro her into the cast pic), and Craig had a different actor. If I had kept this, I would've only had to change Morgan/Lena in 2018. Yes he was in the same band, but he left before they stabbed their UK fans in the back, so... I'd have let him off. oh well
"Marill has talent?" Harry said questioningly.
I know, it's news to me as well
"All right then, I'll rephrase that. The cast picture that Marill did: before she had decent pictures of cast members, before she knew how to use the freehand cut in Paint Shop Pro, before Craig's actor was changed to Søren Rasted, long before she got a better version of Paint Shop Pro, and before she got that twisted imagination," Tom said.
LIES, I ALWAYS HAD A TWISTED IMAGINATION
"So it was worse than that 'The Love Spell' banner?" Kathryn asked.
Yes by a long shot. Why is Love Spell singled out, there are far worse old banners in Season Two (no One didn't have any until later).
Kathryn shuddered. "I didn't think that was possible. I mean, I looked like a shrimp in that one."
Oh. It was so bad I not only replaced it on the site but also in my memory? Janeway's not on the banner I have.
"Harry, maybe you should see a doctor," Kathryn said.
"No more cowboys," Harry muttered and he walked out.
so now we know what Harry's crippling phobia is. It's... different
"Would you two happen to know anything about Doctor Jones' new image?" she asked quietly.
James and Jessie looked up from their consoles, and they looked at each other briefly then back at Kathryn.
"What new image?" Jessie asked.
I do actually like how these two are the first suspects. But I also wonder why James is back hanging around the engineering station as if it were S1.
"That's not really our style," Jessie managed to say.
"And also, who put that website on that computer in Sickbay?" Kathryn asked.
AHHA, that does sound like a James thing to do. It's hackery, he wasn't on it which suits his off screen preferences, and it's funnier than the Doc riding a biobed.
"Toilet!" Duncan yelled all of a sudden. Everyone turned to look his way. He smiled like if he was proud of himself. As everyone stared at Duncan, Jessie and James turned to Danny. She grinned meekly and she turned back towards her console.
Haha bless him
but Danny, please don't tell anyone why you think this is your kind of dirty word
"Me? Innocent little me?" Danny said questioningly. Everyone turned her way and most of them gave her dirty looks.
"Innocent my a*s," James muttered.
"That's not a very good example," Danny muttered.
"I hate to interrupt, but I am detecting a Federation signal," Tuvok said.
"It better not be another Enterprise E shuttle," Jessie muttered, and she shuddered.
It isn't, and Resistance wipes its brow and continues its reign on the Season Two throne.
"But all of our shuttles have either been destroyed, or they're in the shuttlebay," Chakotay said.
"Or you've crashed them," James said.
OH YOU, bwahahaha
"Captain, they're powering weapons," Tuvok said.
"Why are they doing that for?" Kathryn said.
OH HELL NO, IT'S FURY, EVERYONE FOR THEMSELVES, RUN
"I have an explanation, Captain. That weapon that hit us weakened the strength of the shields. It should be easy for the other ship to lock a tractor beam on us," Tuvok said.
"But we've still got shields up, it shouldn't work at all," Kathryn said.
"Well it has," Tuvok said.
"Captain, the ship or shuttle is pulling us towards a large nebula. I'm getting some strange energy readings from it," Harry said.
Janeway: is there coffee in that nebula?
Janeway: oh well I don't care then
In: "Paris to Bridge, I know who tampered with Doctor Jones' program."
"It's hardly our biggest problem now, but go ahead. Who was it?" Kathryn asked.
In: "Annika. She's escaped from the Holodeck."
Twice in a near row, yawn
"This is odd, I'm detecting a dimensional distortion," Tuvok said. Almost everyone looked his way.
"Hmm, that explains the odd energy readings," Harry muttered.
"According to the sensors, there are more than 300 dimensional distortions inside this very nebula," Tuvok said.
OHNOES IT'S SOMETHING FAR WORSE THAN FURY, IT'S....
THE FANFIC DIMENSIONS NEBULA
Resistance: Mwahahahahahahaha I CAN'T BE STOPPED
"We haven't got much a choice about where we fly, that ship is still..." Chakotay said.
"We do now, the ship's let us go," Harry said.
"Affirmative, Captain. The ship has gone deeper into the nebula," Tuvok said.
Then Voyager resumes course. Virus decide to perform the last of the A songs. Annika meanwhile spreads an annoying tickly cough around the ship.
Also meanwhile on the Z5 cos you know IKWYDLS is really trying its hardest to be bad
"How come Voyager gets to have all the fun?" Scot moaned.
"Why do you have to be a traitor?" Lilly growled.
ok I do vaguely recally why this is here, and it confirms what I said about Tani's side of Bittersweet, but meh meh meh
"Well the real question is, can we please give the Dellia it's proper name back?" Lilly asked.
"Yeah, okay," everyone muttered. Suddenly a bright flash of light enveloped the entire ship.
HURRAY IT'S TIME
"That was just the writers changing the name on the side of the ship, and everything else," Lilly replied.
"May as well, if we don't we won't be in the episode much. Remember we only have a few more episodes left after this. And for god's sake fix your name," Lilly said.
Johnstone groaned, and rolled his eyes. There was a strange high pitched sound as Johnstone's name was changed back to his first name, James.
OH FU, like Stevaaaay and Ash Ketchum, your name's getting changed in the quotes so nobody gets confused but me
"You know, why am I called James anyway? In that other series Marill's developing, I'm called Dave, or Lister," Johnstone asked.
"Can we please just get on with the episode?" Scot asked.
"I've got both ships on this program that helps me fly two ships at the same time," Carly said.
"Has anyone wrote their wills yet?" Lilly asked, and she looked around the Bridge.
The Dellia, er I mean, Lillyia Fleet flew towards the nebula after both ships crashed into each other briefly, and after Carly got yelled at.
and they all died, never to be seen again....
but at least their ship has the right name now
"Do you think that Danny babysitting Duncan is a good idea?" James asked.
"No, but it's either that or continue bringing him to our duty shifts," Jessie replied.
I dunno why the hell not, other than the obvious everyone takes their kids to work. James never seems to go to his job so *shrug* ah remember when that was his punishment for murder.
Lena was about to answer but James interrupted her. "What have you done to your hair? It used to be orange?" James asked.
Lena looked a little nervous. Her hair was now short and black. "Er, I felt like having a change," she replied.
Lena took two things out of her pocket and she handed them to Jessie and James.
"What's this?" Jessie asked.
"Oh, nothing," Lena muttered. She took out a commbadge from her pocket and she tapped it. Suddenly all three of them beamed away.
That's funny, not the haha kind, but I thought this is what happens in Return of FANFIC DIMENSIONS Voyager, not this one. confused.
Lena was inside the main room, sitting at the helm. The alien she beamed into space earlier was somehow alive, and he was standing nearby a station.
OH I WAS RIGHT, I OWE MYSELF A TWENTY. THANKS ME
"Yeah well, I can't trick everyone on that ship the same way. You'll have to wait until..." Lena said.
Wait *snigger* what? I really hope the wait until is "wait until we have a bigger ship or its gonna get super cramped fast"
"Well obviously that mini brig," Lena replied.
"My question was, where is it?" the alien asked.
"I can't be arsed to tell you, the ships not that big, it won't take long for you to find it," Lena replied.
Then again, the Flyer twin has a brig so... I should stop hoping
"See for yourself, Captain," Tuvok said, and he looked back down at the biobed. Kathryn and Chakotay looked too. On the biobed lay an unknown crewmember. She had been brutally stabbed several times in the stomach.
"Hmm, no rewards to anyone who can guess who did this," Kathryn said.
James's off screen power has extended to other ships. We're all done for.
"No, Annika has put a password on his program. I can't get access to it," Tuvok replied.
I'm assuming he meant Borg encryption codes, Seven's deus ex machina
In: "Hello Voyager crew. I'll keep this brief, I know what you've done this season. That's all Voyager, see you soon."
GASP so do I and it's not pretty
"I'll send more security teams to look for her," Tuvok said.
"Why don't you send them all?" Chakotay asked.
"We can't, two members of the crew have already been kidnapped," Kathryn replied.
"Yeah, but they weren't really important," Tuvok said.
They've kidnapped the writers as well? James and Jessie aren't going to be pleased (ahem, garbage, empty)
"Will do... hey will you stop spitting on our carpets!" Chakotay yelled.
Doctor Jones smiled at Chakotay. "Ok partner, you don't happen to have a spit bucket I can do it in instead?"
the episode then goes from eew to ohgodno
Stevaaaaaaaay opened the door to see Lena and Tani. They walked straight in.
"Erm, I wasn't expecting you girls here," Stevaaaaaaaaaay muttered.
"I have some unfinished business with Ash Ketchum," Lena said.
"It's ok, I just wanted to talk to you," Lena said.
"And I'm just tagging along because the writers wanted me to," Tani said.
The writer(s) just wanna see the world burn, only to complain that it burned her/their finger(s).
"Oh, just things that Tani shouldn't hear," Lena replied.
"Well, erm, maybe we should talk in my room then," Ash Ketchum said. He headed back the way he came, and Lena followed.
"Hey, this is cruelty to Tani's," Tani said.
All in favour say nothing
The mob have not spoken
That's when she heard a strange sound come over the intercom. It sounded like a telephone ringing.
I can see what's coming.
"Er.... no stay away?" Tani said questioningly.
Some strange music came over the intercom, and a voice like Lena's started singing.
In: "Mwhahaha, that was fun wasn't it?" Annika's voice asked.
"No, that was just disturbing," Tani replied.
I agree, for different reasons I'm sure
And finally, half way through this (I KNOW!) we get to the point of the episode
In: "No, you fool. I do actually know what you've been up to this season. Remember 'The Love Spell'?"
"I don't think I could forget," Tani replied.
In: "No? Why don't I tell everyone who you fell in love with then?"
Really, this, the Love Spell is what you're going with for this theme??? Tani the Marill Dimension Jump writing James harrassing Henderson.
In: "I do know though. People who weren't affected saw you with Commander Tuvok."
"Eeew, gross!" Tani squealed.
Poor Tuvok is not amused
In: "I couldn't agree more. I either tell the entire crew about you and Tuvok, or I will kill Kiara. The choice is yours."
OH. I thought she'd kill Tani
I'm extremely disappointed
FFs Kiara's already been murdered fairly recently, stop with the kid slaughter past me. *remembers The Atamit and Lea Halalela, panic attack continues*
"But, Tuvok? You've got to be kidding me," Tani said.
In: "So am I not allowed to tell?"
"No, and you wouldn't even dare to kill Kiara," Tani replied.
In: "You wanna bet? Bwahahahahahaha!"
"Well maybe or maybe not for the same reasons. You made a mistake. You can't torture yourself if you made a mistake. You're a nice guy, I mean you'd have to be to be Tani's friend," Lena said.
Try as you might, you will never erase Why oh Why's damage. This is just corny as f$$$
Ashley sighed, and he turned his head to look Lena's way. "Thanks," he said quietly. For some odd reason the two got clo
UM EXCUSE ME
THIS IS BIZARRE EVEN FOR ME
Enter the next scene and it gets even better. Love Spell's quaking in its boots right now
"If Voyager doesn't come back for us, what are we going to do about what?" James asked.
"What are we going to do about, the motto?" Jessie replied.
"The motto? What motto?" James asked.
"Erm, I think I've just quoted 'Mewtwo Returns' for some odd reason," Jessie replied.
"Obviously not exactly, there's no Voyager in that movie," James said.
DON'T ASK THAT MARILL
Ok I'll probably not bother with this scene, now that it's admitted what it's stealing from. All you people thinking I Know What You Did Last Summer was this episode's inspiration, haha toobad.
Reading through the whole scene, it quite literally is Mewtwo Returns (I think, I only ever had a VHS copy, never got a UK dvd release), right down to making a very different James and Jessie, except not, mop the floor, so SKIP and a negative point later.
Doctor Jones was sitting on the biobed. It did actually look like he was sitting on the biobed like if it was a horse. "Yeeeeehaaa!" he yelled.
GAH, I WAS ONLY MAKING A JOKE EARLIER
Tom pointed to a different biobed. Kiara was lying on it. She had a horrific knife wound on her stomach.
This is the real reason all of the kids, except Duncan, were aged faster. Marill has a lot of blood lust for kids.
I didn't type that, you saw nothing!
Kathryn turned to Tani.
"You valued your secret more than Kiara's life!" she yelled.
Yes, yes she did and there's something else you should know. She's my past self's avatar. Discuss
"She's got a point. How come she is still killing female crewmembers when she's supposed to be cured?" Kathryn asked.
"Only Doctor Jones can answer that. But he's a bit preoccupied at the moment," Tom said.
I think there was a sub/unconscious reason why I never re-read this one until now. I'm not enjoying this one bit.
"So, is the reset button ready?" Kathryn asked.
"Yeah, but you know the drill. It won't work until the end of the episode," Lee replied.
Jessie and James finished cleaning, and they went over to the second doorway.
"That should shut her up for a little while," Jessie said.
"Jess, we were suppose to leave that bucket over there, right?" James asked.
In other news Team Rocket's Mewtwo Returns, aka the tv movie that is about their organisation trying to capture Mewtwo again, storyline continues and we're all super psyched to see how it ends.
"Ok, those Mewtwo Returns quotes are getting really tiresome now," James muttered.
WHEN WERE THEY NOT?
Despite his whining, he joins Jessie with the stupid pun that they had to explain before they said it. No I refuse to copy. J/J complete their reversal to Season One bad comic relief TR copies and Marill wonders if she should just skip to Man Out Of You and be done with the pain.
"Mwahahahaha, now the moment of truth," the alien, or Damien laughed.
"You're just eating a damn yogurt, no need to go all evil about it," Raichu said as she appeared out of nowhere.
FINALLY, I KNOW ETC HAS BEEN REDEEMED
of course the writers had to be there but I've gotta for my remaining sanity
Damien thought for a moment, and then he grew angry. "How dare you insult my intelligence. Anyway, after I've eaten my yogurt I'll do something truly evil," Damien said.
"Yeah, whatever. I know what happens, I am one of the writers after all," Raichu said.
"Don't I know," Damien muttered. Raichu shook her head and she disappeared. Damien got back to his yogurt.. er I mean evil deeds.
Welcome to FV Real Damien, no I don't know what you did to deserve it either
In: "Erm, I'm not exactly sure, but I know one thing. Damien's back."
Dramatic music started playing as the camera did a close up of Kathryn's shocked face. The camera went too close to Kathryn and it knocked her out cold.
oh I loved this gag when I first saw it in Spaceballs
still do, I'm weak
"I hate it when it does that," Chakotay muttered.
just like Janeway fiddles with her commbadge when she's about to be controversial
Damien walked into the control room, still eating his yogurt. He nearly choked on it when he saw an amusing site.
"Bwahaha, is that the old Pokémon website that the writers had? It's so pathetic it's amusing," he laughed.
Is it amusing, I can not tell
Lena was sitting on one of the chairs, with the bucket firmly stuck on her head.
"I fell, what's it to you. Just get it off!" she said in a muffled tone of voice.
"All in good time," Damien muttered. He continued eating his yogurt.
New Damien makes this episode tolerable, otherwise it'd be beating The Love Spell with a pail/bucket, leaving it for dead in second off last place.
Meanwhile the newly christened Lillyia Z5 and F9 show up to get in on the lack of action.
Kathryn with a bump on her head, Chakotay, Jessie, James, and Lena (just for the sake of it), were standing nearby the window discussing the situation.
"That cameraman has to be fired, this is the second time this week," Kathryn said.
Marill appeared. "No no, the other situation," she said.
This goes on a while, and I wouldn't mind the joke if it were another non-fourth wall character like a writer who kept trying to get Janeway on track.
Oh and why is Lena in the Ready Room just for the sake of it? She's Lena, she can go wherever she likes and no one questions it
Marill disappeared, for some reason the characters seemed happier than they did before.
Ah for some reason, I like you when you're being snarky
"How can there be a Seventh Voyager Lena?" Chakotay said.
I suppose it kinda does start making sense, later, but for now *clicks tongue*
"I don't know how there's a Seventh Voyager Lena, we just know that there is one. Plus Damien is with her," James said.
The camera was about to do a close up of Kathryn's face again, but she got out of the way. "You're not doing that again," she said angrily.
The musical cue was forgotten I see
"Damien said something about kidnapping crewmembers of various Voyagers to recreate Seventh Voyager," James replied.
"Various Voyagers?" Chakotay said questioningly. Then realisation kicked in. "The dimensional distortions, of course!"
I TOLD YOU IT WAS THE FANFIC DIMENSIONS NEBULA, BUT YOU ALL THOUGHT I WAS JOKING, DIDN'T YOU
"Well how did that other Lena beam aboard Voyager when our shields were up?" Chakotay asked. Jessie and James shrugged. The camera man moaned in pain. Kathryn pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. Chakotay scratched his head.
"Ok, that was pointless," Jessie muttered.
I kinda like how they only just notice this crap now
"Well I've just conveniently thought up a plan in a few seconds," Chakotay said.
For once I'm in favour of this. The episode is no longer about Annika and her knowing powers.
As usual everyone was hard at work at their stations.
"Come on, just a little bit further... YES! Now it's my turn to kill you ghosts," Harry said as he played on Pacman.
This also goes on a while. sigh
"Well, it's now or never," Kathryn said as she turned to James and Jessie.
"Oh great, we haven't even memorised our lines yet," James muttered, as he and Jessie went into the turbolift.
Well it's either gonna be an altered motto and/or Mewtwo Returns lines. Brb for no related reason at all
Okay I'm fine
"Captain, according to the sensors there about 100 Voyagers in this entire area," Harry said.
"There's not enough screen time for them all, we have to send them back," Kathryn said.
I know, what if one of them actually sticks to the plots and is actually, gasp, good! Can't have that
"We're not going back. Our writer is shipper of every Voyager shipper group there is. It's chaos, one second I'm with Chakotay, the next Seven, then the Doctor, then..." Kathryn 2 said. The viewscreen went off interrupting her.
Yes yes this joke cannot exist without the existence of FANFIC DIMENSIONS but still.
In: "Emily, will you turn that down, we're in the middle of a crisis here!"
In: "F**k off, Janeway!"
Only me and another know the context, lets move on
Then Chakotay explains it and I'm $^%£$^$%&%^&
That's been edited, just in case
The viewscreen changed to show the Bridge. All of the main Pokémon characters were there.
Ohnoes it's my other unreleased/finished work Fifth Pokemon.
"Captain, I think James and Jessie have beamed aboard that shuttle," Harry said.
"Don't worry Harry, they're suppose to do that," Kathryn said.
"No I mean the Pokémon ones," Harry said. Everyone looked at each other nervously. "And now our Jessie and James have beamed aboard," Harry said.
OH JOY, I WONDER WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT
In: "Hiya Lena, I know what you've done..."
"Yeah, yeah, I know the rest," Lena muttered.
In: "Ok, fine. Do your parents know about that incident with Ash Ketchum?"
Of course, I should've known that bit was to give Lena something bad to be blackmailed over... cos you know she's a perfect angel who hasn't done anything wrong.
"Erm, does any of you know where my parents are?" she asked.
"They were murdered by Annika, they're in Sickbay, and Annika's been put in the Brig," Harry replied.
That was... fast. I'm not surprised though. This one's gonna get a raking in the scores
"Oh, well that means I'm in command," Lena said.
"It does? Since when?" Harry asked.
Lena the Sue Count: 1
Since Timeline, come on, get with the program Harry
Suddenly they both heard the doors opening. They turned to see FV's Jessie and James coming in. Not long afterward something explodes, but nothing gets damaged. Two figures appear out of nowhere, and laughter is heard.
"Prepare for trouble," Jessie (Pokémon's) said.
Hey I Know What You've Done This Season... F$$$ YOU, I had decided to quit rebooting long before you were due. What the hell am I going to do now!?!?!?!?!?!?!
FV Jessie whines she didn't get to do the motto so, you know the routine
Jessie's Sin Points: +1
James handed the Pokémon James a weird machine thing. "You two plant this somewhere, and we'll do the motto," he said.
Oooph, I was almost gonna sigh in relief for James being the only sane one. He got me in the first half, I'll admit
And on that note I'm done. I'm skimming the rest. If anything comes up, like the weird ending I think it has, then I'll quote it.
"What did they plant? An apple tree?" Damien asked.
Lena groaned. "I really hate you."
Damien is really meant to be smart, genius level, with no common sense. This is... I dunno what this is
"Well here's the new Annika. She should be likeable now," Doctor Jones said, and he smiled proudly.
"Why is she staring at me like that?" Lena asked.
Everyone looked at Annika. They grew incredibly worried.
"Ohno, my treatments have made Annika fall for women, not men," Doctor Jones moaned.
Yep this is the ending I thought it had. Oh joy, why not. It's a s$$$ tip anyway
"Anyway, I'm not les, Craig. I'm a bi," Annika said, and she looked lovingly at him.
"Er, there's nothing wrong with that either," Craig muttered. He grew uncomfortable as she continued to stare.
And on that note the fricking end
Muttered Count: 72 (1405)
Sexist Crap Count: 0 (68)
Jessie's Sin Points: earned 1, lost 0 (1) Remember, she has 36 from Season One to still erase.
Lena the Sue Count: 1 (37)
Lena (Child)Abuses Her Power: 0 (35)
Annika Dies Count: 0 (10) YOU COULDN'T EVEN GIVE ME THIS, OMG
James Dies Count: 0 (5)
James Kill Count: 0 (4)
James Badasses Off Screen For Our Sins: 0 (17)
Marill's Playing With Her Dolls Again: 1 for the stupid ass dance motto I didn't show you (51)
Just A Little Bit More: 0 (37)
J/C are the worst (grand)parents ever: 0 (27)
1) If Damien hadn't started his recruitment yet, how the hell did Seventh Lena exist? I'm not going to humour an explanation out of thin air regarding the paradox, who Lena really is, blah blah, when I know no thought went into this. I can accept an alternate Lena, but not as part of the original Seventh crew. That's the implication.
2) How come Damien has hijacked Kes' misty place? I really did think it was a Kes of some kind because of the "description". It just feels like an intentional misdirect.
3) The writers appear to discuss the characters, with said characters. They're in far too much, you get the picture. I also dislike how the writer's ideas for the characters mentioned is regression: Craig must be a girl harrasser instead of just Lena, James needs to be backboneless (though to be fair he's hit and miss anyway), Jessie thankfully is a good thing (ie going back to her rougher self).
4) The Doctor is once again reprogrammed to act weird so Annika can get up to mischeif. Two episodes in a near row, thankfully Bittersweet breaks the chain temporarily.
5) Related to three I know, but there's so much fourth wall banter that drags this painful episode out. Talking about websites, banners, Mewtwo Returns, reset buttons (yes I still do that, sue me), Lillyia renaming. It's groanworthy.
6) From the very beginning till the very very end the namesake storyline gets shoved into the background for this FANFIC DIMENSIONS/Mewtwo Returns crossover event.
7) I could do without all the not subtle digs at what's going on behind the scenes. Lilly's comments to Scot, Ash Ketchum's cameo in the episode, and something else I've mostly wiped from memory but do remember it's there.
8) Why does Damien and Fake Lena kidnap James and Jessie, so easily and kinda like how they tricked their own evil selves in Mirror Universes, and immediately make them the cleaners, allowing them free reign of the ship. The ship which is the Flyer but isn't. Look I don't know, this is a mess. I do remember now Mewtwo Returns little gag with the bucket on the head (oh sorry, pail/pale for the puns), it's not enough to excuse this even a little.
9) Kiara once again gets killed, and for what, so Tani doesn't? BOOO
10) I know etc... has potential which it ignores and craps on. Tani's big bad secret is a Love Spell incident, Lena's is one that's brought out of nowhere just for this episode, another is an unknown crewmember. We get nothing else. It's bad, real bad.
11) WTF is up with that Lena and Ash Ketchum almost scene??????????????????????????????????????????? other than the obvious ^^ that is
12) James and Jessie regress back to their Team Rocket roots.
13) FANFIC DIMENSIONS RETURNS, and before Return of Crap Voyager. Yes there's another one like this.
14) Lena takes command, despite the one objection. Then she decides to move the ship because sometimes other ships blow up around her??? The plan does just that, and so LENA SAVES THE DAY, SUPER GENIUS! Tuvok gets no respect and Lena's a Mary Sue. What else is new?
15) MOTTOS and my should be developed characters not only whine they don't get to do it, they make sure they do and it's a stupid dancey one from the Mewtwo Returns movie. gah!!!!!!!
16) LOL ANNIKA IS NOW GAY, NO BI-SEXUAL, THAT'S MARILL'S CUNNING PLAN. FUNNEH STUFF
which gets forgotten about immediately, I'm sure. I hope. :(
1) Hideous site typo turned into a joke. Obviously the first time, the second was my usual dragging a rare good joke out.
2) Shame the Dellia>Lillyia rename happened in this one, it deserves better. My reasons behind it aren't so good and TMI'y, but still, it's about time the Lillyia gets its iconic only to me and still delicate flowery name back.
3) Real Damien is addicted to yoghurts thanks to this pretty bad all round episode. It's not enough to save it, but to mention? You betcha. The true Damien is born.
Marill's Rating: 16%
Daw what a shame that is. That being Damien and a fourth wall joke exist in this one or it really would've been last place, beating the s$$$ out of The Love Spell. In fact it would've beaten everything but the undefeatable World Domination. I did not see this coming when I started this, you can tell from the opening.
Harsh but fair. Thanks for making very wary of episodes I haven't read in a while IKWYDTS and Halloween.
Rankings So Far:
#02 YWF: 46%
#03 Disconnected: 40%
#04 Kiss of Death: 38%
#05 Interactions & Bittersweet: 37%
#06 The Resurrection: 36%
#07 True Q: 35%
#08 Cause & Effect: 33%
#09 The Curse of Voyager: 32%
#10 Saturday Night & Precise Timings: 31%
#11 Games Resistance: 29%
#12 Thrown Key Part 2: 23%
#13 F9: Control Failure: 21%
#14 Why oh Why: 20%
#15 An Apple A Day: 17%
#16 I Know What You've Done This Season: 16%
#17 Halloween: 15%
#18 Dimension Jump: 14%
#19 The Slayers: 12%
#20 The Love Spell: 10%
Next Time: Lilly feels a bit edgy, James and Emma get some piercings, Jessie forgets where she was stabbed one time and I can't blame her not being able to keep track, Harry has a great day, Tom has some toast, and Triah goes for a swim. Thrilling stuff.