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Part 3 Written
2nd - 6th, 10th & 11th June 2015

 

He never imagined that he'd be in this situation. He didn't see it coming. There were so many questions swimming in his head, they overlapped the anger he was feeling at that very moment. It didn't even feel real. There was no way that he would be standing on this side of the forcefield, staring at this particular person on the wrong side. Not for anything, definitely not something like this.

Only he was. Before he could ask anything he had to get his head around it. If someone had told him that these two would be standing here for this, he would have laughed in their faces.

James did not expect any of this.

When he arrived he had new expectations, similar to what he saw earlier. Those were dashed once again. Instead of aggressive taunts and vicious out of character insults, he got what he would have expected if he hadn't walked in on him trying to choke the life out of his own sister. A confused and very nervous man, looking bewildered at being locked up. James understood that feeling all too well. He still couldn't understand how they had gotten to this point.

"James, good. Maybe you can tell me why I've woken up in here," he said.

There was a similar look of derision from the two guards at the computer. One glance from James told them to leave them alone. They were eager to follow this order. It took him a while though to think of what to say to him.

"Please tell me it's a mistake."

He wished it was. It felt like the only explanation right now. James walked closer to the forcefield in between them. The other man's face trembled, his wide eyes appeared to be racked with guilt. It made this all the more worse.

"Oh god, say something. Anything."

"I think you know already, Nathan," James said finally. It hurt to say it, physically and mentally.

His head shook defiantly, his expression still betrayed him. "No. No I don't."

"Then maybe you can tell me what happened," James said as patiently as he could. Inside the anger was bubbling beneath the confused surface. Maybe if he got some answers, it could tame it. "What were you doing before waking up here?"

"I... Jessie came to see me," Nathan answered as if he was unsure. "We were talking."

"Why, what about?" James reluctantly asked.

He knew that question would trigger something in Nathan. His whole body tensed. "I've been having some rough days. She was worried I guess."

"Then what happened?" James asked.

"Nothing. I woke up here," Nathan answered as his voice begun to shake. "I, what did I do this time?" James heard him whisper as if to himself.

"What do you mean by that?"

Nathan seemed surprised he was heard, it made him even more tense and nervous. "No, nothing."

His response angered James more than he liked, he closed his eyes and clenched his jaw briefly to let it run its course. His body trembled as it usually would when he did. Once it was over, the nervous look on Nathan's face triggered it again. "Nathan. Understand that I'm giving you the chance here, the chance to tell me everything you know before I..." He sighed as he noticed his voice was raising. "Before I treat you like anyone else accused of this."

"I do understand that," Nathan said with shame. "What is it that I'm accused of?"

He had been avoiding it, but Nathan seemed to be as well. James had a feeling it would have to be him that would bring it up. "I walked in on you trying to strangle your sister." The horrified gasp he got for that made him regret that immediately. He had to solider on though. "What were you really talking about Nathan?"

"No, oh god no," Nathan's voice cracked, his head shook over and over. He looked very pale, his hand had instinctively covered his mouth. "I... why?" He attempted to look James in the eye, they were filled with pain and strangely enough confusion as well. "How the hell are you keeping this together? Why aren't you in here, interrogating me old school? You're giving me a chance instead, why?"

James didn't want to run through all the reasons again, especially not out loud. The only one that came to mind immediately was the disbelief over the situation. Nathan's reaction to what he told him strengthened that feeling. "What happened Nathan?" was all he could say, as sternly as he could.

"I can't. I was telling her, I was going to tell her," Nathan stammered. He recoiled as if he had to stop himself from being sick. "Then it happened again. It may do it again if I..."

"What happened again?" James asked, his voice raised in anger.

Nathan made eye contact with him again while his bottom lip trembled, his fists clenched. He forced a laugh before speaking, "you don't want to know. I... I don't even..." His eyes glazed over for a while. "I didn't want to know either."

"What does that mean?" James asked.

The forced laughter continued. It got a little bit irritating, James noticed he had subconsciously closed his hands and tightly too. "Why does it matter? You saw me do it. Why bother?"

"Why?" James said mostly out of bemusement, it came out louder than he thought. "Because it makes no sense Nath. Surely you'd want to know what made you do this? Especially now that your sister is involved. Work with me here. All you're doing now is fighting against me."

"Nobody wants to do anything like that," Nathan said, strangely in a lighter tone than before. It threw James off a little, as before when he entered the room. "Why do you think this happened, huh? Come on, I'm curious."

James shook his head irritably. "Fine. From what Jessie told me and your I woke up here comments, I thought outside manipulation, possession. The usual."

"So it didn't occur to you that maybe the guy with the past, the one who joined Slayer training for fun, would just lose his temper?" Nathan asked like he was annoyed. His eyebrows both raised, "well?" He stepped as close to the forcefield as he could. "Come on, as a fellow kid with a tortured past, surely it occurred to you?" he said a little too irritably to be real. James felt like it was being faked.

"If you want or need to be mad at yourself, do it in your own time. I just want to know how long these memory lapses have been happening," he said.

"Wow, you fell for that old trick?" Nathan groaned and rolled his eyes. He strolled to the back of the cell. "I actually thought you were better than that."

James was expecting, or hoping the conversation would go this way. He could deal with this. "Oh, so we're done pretending now? Why don't we save each other some aggro, and cut to the part where you tell me who the hell you are."

All he got was laughter, and a lot of it. When Nathan swung around to face him his demeanour had changed completely. The tears were long gone, his skin had its colour back. The smile he had on his face was a one he hadn't seen before. It couldn't have been more obnoxious if he tried. "Who the hell am I? I'm Nathan Andrews, remember?"

"Like hell you are," James said bitterly.

The smile lingered, his eyes made it more like a smirk. "Poor Jessie fell for it too. Look where it got her." He knew what he was doing, he was obviously trying to anger him further. James was determined not to be played like that, like he always was. "Took you a while to get to her, didn't it? Though you're always a little too late."

He didn't want him to see the effect that had on him. James tried to look and sound bored when he spoke next, "enough of this, it's not working." The brief eyebrow raise told him that the fake Nathan wasn't buying it. "Just tell me cos I'm not falling for it. Who are you? What do you want?"

"What you probably want but won't admit to," he answered plainly. "Since we're so close I can go finish the job I started. Maybe smack her around some more, as we both know if you did it, there wouldn't be much left of her pretty face. Would there?"

"You're... you're just trying to get me mad, but what I don't get is why," James said as he tried to hold everything back. He kept trying to tell himself that this wasn't the same guy talking to him. Nathan was here moments ago, he couldn't risk doing anything that would hurt him. "It won't work."

The man in front of him scoffed, he followed that up with a condescending smile in his direction. "Oh, you've changed? How could I forget," he said mockingly. His eyes lit up as if he figured something out, but that was also faked. "Oh, probably because I blinked and missed the proof of this. I mean you're still killing people and beating them into a pulp. Unless! Don't tell me you were worse before?"

"Here we go," James just groaned like he was bored. Internally he was screaming for him to stop.

"Or maybe you're worse now," Nathan said and then nodded. "Yes. Before you'd turn evil and kill the ones that wronged you. Now you just cut out the middle man and do it all, and more, yourself. Yeah, that is better." He laughed as James tried not to flinch at his words, but failed. "I bet daddy is very proud of his biggest accident, hmm?"

"Stop it. You're changing the subject, you're..." James snapped.

"I wonder what Debbie thinks of you now," Nathan said with a put on sad sigh.

His hand touched the panel beside the forcefield, the fingers tapped at it. James didn't realise he did it, he didn't even think about doing it. The forcefield was down before he had even noticed. This brought smug satisfaction to the other man's face. He didn't move to take advantage of it. He just continued to stare him down while he walked through where the field was.

"Don't you dare. Don't you dare mention her," James said, almost growling by the end.

Nathan just laughed at him. "No, you never want to talk about her, do you? Is that because you have nothing to say?"

"What?" James muttered.

"Come on!" Nathan laughed brazenly. "You didn't even know her. What is there to talk about, other than your involvement in her death?"

That hurt more than James would ever like to admit. He tensed up, hoping that it wouldn't show. "None of that is true. I'm not here to talk about my sister, or me. You attacked Jessie, your sister. All of this is just wasting my time."

"You're wrong. It's always been about you. You have no idea the effect you have on everyone around you," Nathan said, his tone had darkened. The subject had angered him. "If I'm wrong, tell me, what do you remember about Debbie? Huh? No chickening out, no moping... cos like you said, it's not about you, is it?"

"Then why are you so desperate for my point of view?" James asked, prompting Nathan to grunt angrily. "I want to know what's going on, not be messed around cos you fancy a laugh."

"I knew it. You've got nothing," Nathan sniggered but he was still annoyed with him. "Three years and you couldn't be bothered to learn one thing about her. In a few months I learned about my sister's past, her hobbies, her quirks and I..."

"Beat her up and tried to kill her. Yeah, you win," James said while rolling his eyes.

Nathan chuckled darkly. "Well I also learned she can be a nosey pain in the ass, a meddler. I already warned her about coming to my rescue. She acts like she has so much to prove, but little to show for it. Surely even your self absorbed self has noticed that particular trait."

"Oh, I'm the one that doesn't know my sister. Right. Next you'll be telling me your sister loves dresses and running through a field of flowers," James muttered.

"I'm sure your sister would love that, if you hadn't made her a cold corpse in the ground," Nathan said as bluntly as possibly. He smirked at James as he tried to stop trembling in anger, his fists were clenching so tightly his nails had pierced the skin. "All you have to do is respect her for once in your life and say one thing. You can't even do that. What is that, guilt or are you really that me, me, me?"

"I was just a kid," James said through gritted teeth. Nathan nodded as if he got his answer, and it was what he thought. "But I still remember her like I saw her yesterday. She always had a smile on her face, nothing seemed to bother her. Is that..."

Nathan snorted into laughter, cutting him off. James was more annoyed at himself for jumping through his hoops than that. He should have known better. "Is that what helps you sleep at night? Sure, keep thinking that."

Now he was annoyed at him instead. He directed a glare towards him, its usual effect was lost on Nathan though. He was too busy sniggering. "Maybe you'd like to share what's so bloody funny, huh?"

"Oh, I really would," Nathan sighed to stop himself from laughing. He smiled at him with some menace in his eyes. "I really could."

"You know what, I don't care. I don't know who or what you are, but you're certainly not Nathan. He's the only one I'd want to hear about my sister from. You're just wasting my time, I'm going," James said.

He turned to walk out of the cell. He had barely took a step when he saw movement in the corner of his eye. James swung back around, only to be pushed back first into the nearby wall. An arm was thrust into his throat. It all happened so quickly, without a pause, he was stunned for a moment. The face staring at him while this was happening didn't help matters.

That moment was only a couple of seconds, to James it may as well have been minutes. He grabbed his arm, while the other flew up to push him away. What he didn't see until it was flying up by his face, was an object in Nathan's other hand. He only noticed it was silver before it was impaled into the side of his forehead. He felt every bit of it crawl deeper into his brain, sending painful shocks all through his head. He even felt it in his eyes. They had to close, and yet he could still see everything.

As the room span around him, and at times straight through him, the weight holding him pulled away. The wall no longer supported him. He felt weightless for a moment. He only heard it, his body slamming to the ground. He heard laughter echoing all around him as his sight blurred so much, he could make nothing out.

That was until that face hovered in front of him, smirking maliciously. It was the last thing he saw before everything faded into a piercing white.

Even though he couldn't see it, he still felt like something was spinning. Only it was him, his body involuntarily slouched from one direction to another.

The bright light had forced his eyelids to scrunch even closer together. It seemed to work, the light was easing. The dizziness was fading as well, he could feel the ground beneath his feet despite the odd sensation of falling before. His body still swayed as he tried to focus on the ground. The pain coursing through his head was still there, his eyes stung a lot more now they were tightly closed. He forced them open with a little resistance. He expected to still see Nathan, or the person badly pretending to be him, laughing at him. That wasn't even close to what he saw.

It took everything he had not to let his knees buckle and drag him to the floor. The longer he looked around the harder it got. The light golden walls, that old red sofa that used to swallow anyone who sat in it, the lined up antique wooden furniture that created a passage in between this room and the bedrooms. He found himself looking down at the floor at the soft carpet, the one he used to imagine the shapes were animals at the zoo or ships flying to planets and other things, anything to distract him from where he really was.

Everywhere he looked, he was hit by painful memories. He had only spent a tiny portion of his life there, and yet he remembered every little detail of it.

Why, what's happening?

A little girl laughed from the direction of the sofa. James was so sure his heart had not only stopped, but had leapt up into his throat. He couldn't breathe for a moment. He didn't want to but he found he was looking over anyway. There was movement coming from the seated side. He stared from the other side, just making out the top of a head. Brown scruffy hair.

Maybe I imagined that laugh.

Then he heard it again, as well as a boy's. He carefully walked a little closer, slowly. Then somebody rose from the sofa, the sunlight shining through the window caught on her long blonde hair. That smile on her face, the sparkling blue eyes. It felt as if somebody just as strong as him was punching him over and over. The lump in his throat throbbed.

"Debbie," he whispered.

The young girl no older than ten years old giggled towards the sofa, her arms folded as she put on a fake scowl. There was further laughter from the boy.

"Ha, that's just like him all right," he said in between them.

"Yup. I told him to remove the stick from his bum, and he was all grr, me man, you woman, do the dishes," Debbie continued to laugh until her face was red. She stopped for a while, her eyes still showed she was amused though. "Did daddy give you the speech before he let you in again?"

James turned his back on all of this, he had to focus on something else until it went away. Maybe if he closed his eyes and tuned it out, this bad dream would end sooner.

"No, he must be in a good mood cos he just glared at me today," the boy answered with a laugh.

"That just means he likes you," Debbie said in a serious tone. "Daddy may be a grumpy sod lately, but he's harmless."

"Yeah right," the boy said, echoing what James was thinking to himself.

The pair continued talking and laughing while James stood there, trying not to fall apart at any second. Tuning them out wasn't working. It wasn't going away either, it even felt like it was real. If it were a dream or a vision, something would have happened as it normally would have. They all ended the same way; death and pain. This was too happy to be a nightmare. It couldn't be real though. As if on cue Debbie laughed so carefree.

He tried to figure it out. Maybe it was a nightmare, it just hadn't gotten to the point yet. Perhaps the vision was giving him a hint about something else, and again was about to turn sour at any second. It couldn't be anything else. He was attacked, something hit his head...

"No, Nathan!" Debbie screeched. James turned around quickly towards the source. By the time he did he heard laughter coming from both of them. The boy had ran off to the window, holding a model starship. She followed him until he opened the window and gestured the model outside.

"Don't be silly Debs. This is a boy's toy, you can't have it," the boy said while glancing briefly at her. In that moment James saw his face. He was thirty years younger, but it was definitely Nathan's. He had that same playful grin and scruffy hair, it was unmistakably him. "Only dollies and cooking stuff for you," he teased while the model hovered in the gap of the window.

"I'll cook you if you throw that, try me," Debbie said just as playfully.

There was a light tapping behind James, it came from the next room. The two children just continued to laugh and throw playful insults at each other. One of the doors lay parallel to the antique furniture creaked open. James mentally kicked himself for turning his head to look. A woman entered through the door and immediately scowled at the kids at the window.

"You two... come on. If you're going to let the cold in, at least play outside," she scolded them, though it was obviously said without anger. "Close that, I'll replicate some of my chocolate chip cookies."

The boy excitedly slammed the window shut, the woman flinched a little but kept her smile. "Well someone's lost first dibs privileges," she teased.

Debbie snatched the toy back from him, sticking her tongue out. He ran over to the woman anyway. As he did there was another tap behind James, this one seemed louder and it lasted longer.

Debbie looked almost in James' direction, he caught his breath for a second, he felt a panic surge through him. He feared he could be seen. However she ran for the door just next to him. Once she had gone through it he was able to breathe back out.

The sound of a door opening, then muffled voices followed as if they were a few rooms away. He knew there was only a passage through that door, that wasn't possible. He didn't understand a word of it, but he felt like the new voice was familiar even if he could barely separate the two.

"Daddy!" he heard Debbie yell, startling him once again. His hand reached for the door handle, he just brushed the surface of it when he stopped himself. "Someone's at the door!"

James took a few steps away from the door, all the while staring at his hand. The handle was tangible, it felt real. That still doesn't mean this isn't a dream. Come on, what else would it be?

The woman moved out of the way of the door, gently guiding young Nathan away from it by touching his shoulder. Somebody new entered the room through it, this time a man.

His confusion over the situation, the anxiety he felt from seeing his big sister again, the thoughts rushing through his head trying to figure things out, all melted away in an instant. A wave of fear hit him full on as the man walked in his direction. The dark eyes, hair, the tightened scowl on his face. Even the way he walked. Seeing all of that made James' chest tighten so horribly, it took all the strength he had not to curl up in a ball in the corner and wish for it to be over.

Thankfully the man walked by him as if he wasn't there. And he wasn't, he told himself. Not long after he disappeared through the door James could still feel his startled heart thumping through his chest. He was annoyed with himself. How after all these years and with the knowledge that he was stronger than him, did his twice dead, once by his own hand, father still frighten him so much?

The raised voices coming from the passage brought him out of his shell, and back into this not reality. The woman was no longer in the room as well by the time he did. Debbie had returned though, which brought back the other feelings of anxiety he had been suffering.

Then he noticed her face, it was if she was looking right at him. Her eyes were wide and in pain, she was very worried, likely about the raised voices from the other room. The younger Nathan walked over to give her a smile, which she returned weakly. He held her hand so he could lure her over to the sofa, which now James could see was covered in toy models and drawings on paper.

James was so freaked out by the stare he thought he got, he missed the passage door opening, as well as the people walking through it. They passed by him on route to where the children were.

"Debra darling, come over here," the woman said through tears.

"Uhoh, Debra is only when you're bad," Nathan whispered to Debbie, and yet James heard it clearly. She gave him an elbow nudge before getting up.

James watched her hurry over, just stopping a mere foot in front and to the right of him. She looked to his right, where he knew his father stood. He didn't want to look, he never wanted to look.

"What's wrong mum?" Debbie asked.

"Your father, he has something to tell you. Don't you Peter?" the woman said, snarling the name.

Debbie was frighteningly worried. His father, Peter, approached to crouch in front of her. James turned his head a little to the side so he was out of his eye line.

"In a few months you're going to be a big sister, Debra," he said.

What? The words echoed in his head, each time another voice that was floating in the background got louder. Eventually it pushed its way into the foreground. That voice was a one he missed more than anything. His head turned to the right, as if pulled magnetically towards it.

There she was standing with long auburn hair tied into a ponytail, her striking blue eyes and strong and determined face. Only she was younger, much younger. It took him by surprise. Whatever she had said had angered both his father and the woman, they were directing their bile towards her. As he expected from her, she didn't show that it was getting to her if it was at all.

"She's a little girl, some compassion shouldn't be too much to ask," she said, making them madder.

"Who are you to tell us how to raise our daughter? You're nothing but a whore. His whore," the woman hissed.

There were tears, no sobs were coming from the little girl now. James couldn't bare to look. "Stop it!" she screamed at them all. "I don't want it. Tell her to go away!"

"Sweetheart, I can't, I told you. That could be your brother she's carrying," the man said, if anything but gently.

"No, I hate him!" Debbie shouted through her sobs. Her words were stabbing him repeatedly in the chest, directly into his heart. James had to take in a deeper breath as it felt empty, hollow. He understood why she'd react like this, but it still hurt to hear it.

Young Nathan was back by her side, trying desperately to calm her down with a gentle back pat. "Debs, it's gonna be okay."

"No, I don't want a brother. He'll end up just like him," Debbie cried while pointing at Peter. His hand gently grabbed the hand doing it.

"Don't you talk to me like that. I'm your father," he said firmly.

"No you're not, not anymore. My daddy wouldn't cheat on mum, he wouldn't be so cruel. I hate you, and I hate you!" she screamed at him, and then towards one of the two women. He tried to grab a hold of her, but gently which wasn't what James was used to seeing. She ran away from him before he could lay another finger on her.

A door slammed seconds later. Nathan cringed as it did.

James found himself looking discreetly at the auburn haired woman. Her eyes closed, her face locked in a tight grimace. There was an overwhelming urge to go over there and apologise, tell her he forgave her, everything he wanted to do before she died. He thought it was stupid. This wasn't real, that wasn't his mother standing there, not really. Even if it were, it was clear, he hadn't even been born yet. In their view he didn't exist yet.

She moved away while these thoughts ran through his head. He stifled a gasp, his mouth still dropped open though. Where she originally stood was Nathan. Not the child version, but the one he had confronted in the Brig, smirking towards him. Was he there all along?

"You, what the hell is this?" he found himself snapping at him.

Everyone else in the room acted like the pair were not there. His father even walked through Nathan like he was a ghost. Something he found even more amusing.

"Isn't it obvious?" he teased.

"No. You attacked me, I thought it was... it's all in my head," James stuttered.

Nathan casually shrugged as he looked over at his younger self. "Nope." James glared at him, even if he knew that he was probably only glaring at a figment of his imagination. "You wanted me to share."

James didn't even think it through, he blurted it straight out, "what the hell are you talking about?"

"Think about it," Nathan chuckled. "You're there," he said, pointing at the auburn women's abdomen. "How on earth would you know what was happening then?"

James looked at where he was pointing instinctively, he turned his head away instantly. "I don't. Maybe this is how I pictured it."

"Have you ever thought about it?" Nathan asked him. "Did you ever think about how your existence depended on the misery of everyone else?"

"That's not..." James shook his head, his eyes tightly shut. "That's not my fault."

Nathan walked over to the woman, he peered into her face but she didn't register his presence. "Hear that? He's blaming you, again."

"No!" James didn't mean to but he shouted.

Nathan rolled his eyes, he tiredly sighed. "Chill out. I'm just having a bit of fun."

"Chill... out?" James said slowly and angrily, his fists clenched. "You think that showing me this would be fun? That's if I believe you anyway."

"Oh believe it. It's your own fault for sticking your nose in, memories should be private," Nathan said. What exactly does that mean? What's happening? Nathan laughed while he thought that. He looked to his younger self as he walked towards a door, he sighed in disappointment. "Uhoh, time's up. What should we do next?" he teased.

"Make this stop. That's what you should do next," James muttered.

Nathan smiled just as the boy disappeared out of the room. The room they were in faded away, leaving only the piercing white again. "Oh. I'm just getting started."

"It's a he. He died..." Debbie's voice rang around him. "I hope, I hope it stays that way."

"What? You can't possibly mean that," Nathan's younger self's voice said in dismay.

There was a light sniffling, it was muffled and distorted like it was heard over a bad signal. "I do. It's better for everyone. Mum won't be stuck with him. Dad won't have his own stupid clone. I won't have to listen to them always arguing. He won't have to live with everyone hating him," Debbie's voice cried.

"Come on Debs. You don't hate him. He's just a baby. He didn't ask to be born."

James noticed Nathan rolling his eyes at the last part. He was still reeling from what his sister said about him. He refused to believe she thought about this, let alone said it out loud. Though knowing the circumstances now, he couldn't blame her.

"Yeah well, neither did I!" her voice echoed around him, so he didn't hear it only once.

"Stop this. Debbie wouldn't think like this. You think this bothers me?" James said defensively.

Nathan nodded, "yeah pretty much. You have this warped vision of her as the doting big sister. Couldn't be further from the truth."

"How many kids yell stuff like this when they get a new sibling? It's normal even when they have the same parents," James said. At this point he was trying to convince himself more than Nathan, and he could tell he knew it. The smirk on his face said it all. "I remember Duncan asking if we had a receipt when Sasha was born. It's just sibling rivalry. With the situation, of course she would say worse things than that. Of course she hated me at the beginning. You're not going to get me with this."

"Hmm, really?" Nathan said the last word in a higher pitch than normal, almost mockingly.

The white light began to fade, objects were being brought into focus as it did. James looked around while this happened. Walls surrounded him closely on parallel sides, some with glass panels in them. Human shaped figures dotted all over, some moving, some were clearly standing and the smaller ones he figured were sitting. A lot of them were gravitating around a large rectangular object, which as the light faded away completely revealed itself as a desk. The figures standing by it wore old and blue Starfleet uniforms, their faces were oddly obscured by a blur though.

They weren't the only ones. Not far in front of this desk were many different types of seats, a lot of them were taken up by a variety of people with the same blurred faces. The only ones that were clear were the younger version of Nathan, and heart wrenching Debbie's in the middle of sobbing. He had an arm over her shoulder, she was muttering something in between her tears.

"How could she, Nate?" was all James understood. Most of her words were drowned out by the cries she made.

"I dunno," young Nathan regretfully admitted.

Debbie stopped to laugh, even it did look like a painful one. "So glad you came."

Young Nathan rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Sorry, this is just weird. Your mum told your dad that if he takes the baby, she'll leave him. Instead she runs off with the kid. I don't get it."

James pulled a face, he didn't get it either. He heard the adult Nathan laugh but it was muffled. He glanced over to see him trying to stifle it behind his hand. "Oh I'm so annoyed I missed that, it'd been good."

"What, I don't... what did Susy do?" James questioned reluctantly.

Nathan faked a gasp his way, "I thought this was just your imagination. All in your head, right?"

James' jaw clenched, his teeth ground a little. "What did he mean by running off with the kid?"

"He?" Nathan was confused, or he just pretended to be. He looked at his younger self, immediately he acted offended. "You mean, what did I mean?" No I really don't. "Well picture it. Her husband's slapper goes to the hospital to have his kid, she's stuck there with him..."

"Don't call her that!" James butted in angrily.

Nathan snorted into laughter, "oh please, like you never did. The kid's lying there while, you know, family drama happens." He said family drama as if it was the name of a silly comedy programme being advertised. "It's the source of all that's wrong in your family. It's so tiny and helpless. No one will notice, too busy squabbling. Well the rest is up for interpretation."

"I get it," James said, while trying to hide his rising temper with a fake laugh. "You did something, that thing in my head. You show me all this to mess with me. It's not real."

"I had my money on her trying to drop you into the nearby river," Nathan laughed as if he didn't say anything. "Wah, head first," he squealed the first word, then sniggered the rest.

If he didn't have Nathan's face, he'd be lying unconscious in his own nose blood by now. The anger he was feeling at that moment was overwhelming, holding it back was painful. He was starting to consider hitting him anyway, maybe all of this would end, one way or another.

"Oh I would it end all right," Nathan said. James flinched, it was if he could hear what he was thinking. It wasn't possible. "You hit me and you hit yourself too."

He smiled at the two kids sitting nearby, Debbie had rose to her feet and was walking towards one of the doors. Peter stood there, waiting for her. She stopped in front of him, folding her arms in a defiant pose.

"This is... these are his memories," James stuttered. Nathan shushed him, all it did was push further buttons.

"Come on. He wants to meet his big sister," Peter said.

Debbie rolled her eyes. "No. Kathy should just take him home to her ship or whatever. I don't care."

"Don't be silly sweetheart. He's a Taylor," Peter gently scolded, which was a bit weird for James to see and hear.

"If he was a girl you wouldn't care, just like you don't care about me," Debbie huffed.

There was a brief flash in Peter's eyes that James recognised, he looked on worried. They softened afterwards. "I told you. I needed a son to carry on my family name and traditions." Debbie looked hurt at that remark, she tried to walk away but he put a hand gently on her shoulder. "That's all. But I wanted you, my beautiful princess. There's a big difference."

Nathan sniggered, "oooh, ouch." He directed his smirk at James once again. He didn't notice though. Peter's words were a further punch to the chest. At this point James would have preferred the literal version.

"But..." Debbie protested, though by her eyes she seemed convinced.

"Come on. He won't even know you're there, little sod's still asleep," Peter said jokingly. Debbie nodded.

"Boring," Nathan muttered. He blinked and not just intentionally, it looked like he did it with a purpose too. James knew he was right when the scenery around them vanished, only to be immediately replaced by a row of bungalows, surrounded by trees and grass. The wide path following alongside it had been taken over by kids running around, playing games or riding bikes. The sky above them was grey and still, not that any of the kids seemed to care.

The child version of Nathan walked along it until he reached one particular house. James had been staring at the familiar building before he had even reached it. The young boy knocked at the front door and waited. It opened, he was relieved to see Debbie's mother on the other side. Her stare seemed miles away, large bags were under her eyes. On seeing Nathan she forced a smile to greet him.

"Hi Mrs Taylor. Are you feeling better?" he asked politely.

"Yes, I'm managing. Come in," she answered. As he stepped into the house, the street appeared to be fading away gradually into nothing. James noticed and was a little relieved that the adult Nathan had disappeared as well. By that time all that was left was just the front garden of the house, and the building itself. The door had long since shut. James didn't want to go inside anyway, he thought.

I'm not playing along with this, whoever you are.

Something pushed at him, his head turned quickly around to see what. Only there was nothing there. He quickly realised that the dream wouldn't let him wait outside. He was trapped wherever young Nathan went. His point of view was the thing pushing him forward. Reluctantly he had to go for the house anyway. He didn't even have to open the door. The lack of anything behind him nudged him straight through it, making him feel like a ghost again.

As he carefully walked further into the house, all the while trying to shake off his own memories of the place, he heard voices come from the living room. Nothing out of the ordinary. He was about to open the living room door, when he heard a baby gurgling as well. A girl's voice laughed, his sister's voice. He had frozen on the spot when he heard it, his hand hovering a mere inch from the handle.

For a reason he hadn't worked out the dream, or whatever this was, let him stay there for the moment. He could hear through the crack in the door, if he wanted to it was big enough to see through. That's why, he figured.

"Who are you?" young Nathan's voice said. "And what have you done with my friend?"

Debbie laughed again, and she wasn't the only one. A baby seemed to make a sound similar to a laugh. The young Nathan joined in. "Stop it Nate," she said, not seriously. "He did nothing but be cute. He is, isn't he?"

"That sounds diabolc... er diabolical to me," Nathan managed to mutter. He laughed, seemingly at himself. "You were so different last week. I'm not complaining."

"I know," Debbie sighed sadly with regret. "Kathy let me hold him. He was too weak, too premature you know. We weren't expecting him to last the week. And then..." She laughed, "then he opened his eyes as if to say screw you to the docs. The first person he saw was me. I'm sure he smiled."

So far this vision or dream had been one horrible punch to the gut or painful reminder after another. Ever since this part started he felt a bit more at ease. This was the sister he remembered. That made him think that maybe this was why the other Nathan vanished. He tried to put that out of his head for now. This could still just be some strange, lucid dream. Yet he still found himself slowly approaching the crack in the door.

"He's got that screw you attitude from you, for sure," the young Nathan said.

"Well duh," Debbie giggled. There was silence for a while. Finally she spoke again, "I realised something when I held him and he looked at me. He's just as much of a victim as me in this whole thing. My parents are at war, but he's only ever going to have one of his. He's innocent. I wish mum saw it that way."

Something odd happened when Nathan spoke again with the words, "she will." So did somebody else at the same time. James lightly pushed the door open to see why. He expected a third person to be there, but instead he saw the figures of his sister and Nathan blurring into the background. Two shadows walked around the sofa where they sat, slowly coming into focus. To make it even stranger, one of them was Debbie as well. The other appeared to be her mother.

Once they were clear, the blurry images were gone.

"But, daddy won't ever allow it," Debbie said in an argumentative tone.

Her mother looked at her sadly, she sighed. "He's daddy again, is he?" She bit her bottom lip as that comment obviously upset her daughter. "I'm not saying it because I want it to be so. I'm saying it because we both know it's right. That baby is nothing more than a means to an end to your father. You've seen them together. He doesn't even try, he just wants to standby and let the women do all the work until it's old enough to learn how to be a man." The mother muttered under her breath, "whatever the hell that means. It sure isn't about being faithful."

"Mum, he has a name. It's not his fault," Debbie grumbled.

Her mother smiled at her, although her eyes were weary. "If he went with Kathy, he'd at least be with someone who loves him. That's better isn't it?"

James paced with uncertainty, mainly about what was happening. His theory that he only could see things that Nathan was witness to clearly wasn't right. Nor was his own memories an influence either. He tried to think it through, at the very least it would distract him from what was happening.

"But... what about me?" Debbie stuttered.

"I'm sure she'll let you stay in touch," her mother said softly. It wasn't enough, her daughter looked to the floor to hide her tears. "Don't cry darling. It's only a feeling I have. It's just, we have to be ready to back her up if it does go that way. Your dad won't want to let his little protégé go without a fight."

Debbie huffed, her eyes rolled. "How can daddy be so cold with him? He was always giving me cuddles, playing with me and stuff. I've never seen him do anything but scowl at James. The only difference is he's a boy and I'm not. I don't get it. He should treat him the exact same way."

Her mother knelt down so they were face to face. James meanwhile turned away from them with a heavy heart, his throat throbbing with anxiety. He remembered wondering about that exact thing all the time. He had seen his father dote on his big sister, encourage her, give her hugs. He always had a warm smile for her. He was like a different man all together. However the closest thing he got to any of that was sneers and a rough pick up from the ground when he tried to run away once.

Those thoughts that used to haunt him all the time flooded back. What did I do wrong? Why did he hate me so much? Maybe I deserved it. His forehead suddenly throbbed, it felt like something was drilling into his temple. His eyesight disappeared for a few milliseconds, like a flash of darkness. While he grimaced into his hands Debbie ran towards him. He only saw her for a split second, just before she would have ran into him. Then she was gone.

His eyes felt like they were on fire, but he had to know, he turned around to follow. He was shocked to see her run to an uncomfortable Nathan lurking in the passageway. He didn't have time to ponder his old theory or anything, the pain in his head brought him to his knees.

The floor before him started to blur and change colour to a dim grey, which he figured were a symptom of his painful eyes. His hands fell to the ground, bringing the rest of his body down as well. The texture was hard and cold as well as rough. He tried to lift his head, the pain overwhelming his forehead felt like it was weighing it down, it was a struggle to do it. From what he could see he was surrounded by people walking by in multiple directions. The ground he felt at his fingers had to be outside, concrete. He recoiled as he saw a foot almost land right on it.

"Debs no, you can't bring him in," young Nathan's voice said nervously, not far away from him.

Feet crunched against some gravel on the concrete. "I couldn't just leave him there."

Nathan's voice laughed. James tried again to look up, at least this time he managed to return to his knees. He soon noticed the people walking around him were primarily teenagers, passing the time outside an ancient brown and cream school building, about three stories high at least. He had seen the place before, but couldn't focus on when or where. He realised they were on the main path leading up to it, not far away from the freshly cut grass on the left. To the right a couple of shuttles stood side by side, two adults stood talking next to it.

"What's so bad about the nursery Debs? I went there when I was little," Nathan's voice asked.

James looked toward where he thought he was. When he found him, he noticed the boy had aged a couple of years. The blonde girl standing before him, with her back to James, was the same height. She hadn't come alone. Holding her hand was a toddler, also blonde, looking around at the older kids nervously.

"Yeah well, there's nothing but brats there now. Bullies," she said angrily. She glanced down at the small boy to give him a sweet smile. It made him feel a lot better, he smiled back up at her. "We're not staying are we?" she said in a cute voice.

"What?" Nathan stuttered, he looked behind him to check on something. "You're not, then why?"

"It's a nice day. I thought we could go for a walk along the line," Debbie said to him. She sighed as he pulled a face. "You can come if you want, that's why we stopped by here first."

"The teachers will catch you," Nathan whispered to her. "You can't keep pulling him out of nursery either. If kids don't want to play with him it doesn't mean they're bullies."

Debbie looked very offended. "They don't just not play with him. They make a point of it. One kid waited for him to sit down and ask if he could play, before running off to the woman in charge." She looked down to check on the toddler who's mood had gone down since they started talking about this. She leaned over to whisper to Nathan, "I heard one of the damn parents saying to her friend that he was a piece of work, that he's the bully. He heard her, he was crying."

"Really?" Nathan said just as quietly, his mood took a turn for the worst as well. "That sucks. He's just a shy little thing, where did they get that from?"

Debbie shook her head. She put a lovely smile on her face immediately before looking down at the toddler. "It's their loss," she cooed at him. Her hand reached out to ruffle his hair, the act made the kid giggle.

James managed to straighten back up onto his feet, at the same time a group of teenagers the same age approached them. They appeared to be lead by a tall black haired boy. With the rude smirk seemingly permanent on his face James instantly didn't like him, an opinion the toddler shared as he began to fidget and hide behind his sister.

"Oh Debbie. Taking the dog for a walk again?" the boy asked, prompting laughter from the others.

"Hey, shut your mouth," Nathan spat at him.

The boy was just amused though. He walked over to stand right in front of him, highlighting the huge size difference between them. He made a point of leaning down into his face. The others had a good laugh at it. "Or what?"

Debbie stepped forward to drag the taller boy away from her friend. He smirked at her as she moved to stand in between them. "Get back to your cave, David," she said.

"Only if you come with me," he teased back, while giving her a wink. She looked at him in disgust. "What, I like a good challenge."

"So, all girls then?" the toddler spoke up, surprising them all. Debbie had a mix of horror and pride on her face, while Nathan sniggered behind her. The tall boy however didn't see the funny side, especially when the girls in his group started laughing at him as well. His face turned very red.

"You little piece of sh..." he grunted while lunging for the kid. Nathan was the first to react, just as the boy was about to grab the toddler he pushed him away as hard as he could. The boy's face managed to get even redder, the fury in his eyes was directed towards Debbie. He pointed at her, "you and your brat, you'll regret this."

"Piss off," the toddler groaned and rolled his eyes. Debbie quickly dashed forward to pick him up before anything else happened. Luckily the boy wasn't ready to pick another fight, he hurried away towards the school with his friends right behind him.

Nathan sighed, he seemed to notice he was trembling. "God, that wasn't a good idea." He looked mortified as Debbie was whispering to the toddler in her arms, with a proud smile on her face. "Maybe that's why he's having trouble in nursery. Wow."

Debbie just giggled. "Nope. That was new. So proud of you," she said the last part to her brother. She gave him a cheek kiss.

Just as James was wondering what the point of all of this was, everyone that he could see flashed out of existence, leaving the school yard empty. It was only for a moment. They reappeared, all in different locations to before. The only one he could recognise was Nathan sitting on the grass near the school gates. He was fidgeting nervously while his arms wrapped around his knees.

His attention was on the school gates when his eyes lit up. James looked over his shoulder to see why, although he already knew. Sure enough, Debbie hurried through the gates wearing the same uniform as everyone else, with a bag loosely hanging over her shoulder.

"Sorry, I had to drop James off again," she said in between tired breaths.

"It's okay, you're not late," Nathan said reassuringly, he still looked worried though. Debbie was about to say something when a group of girls pushed by her roughly, almost knocking her to the floor in the process. "You all right?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure," Debbie mumbled irritably.

The girls glanced back at her while sniggering. James was sure he heard them call her a few rude names, one of them being slut.

"I only asked you to come earlier cos there's something you should know," Nathan said.

"Oh, what?" Debbie asked just as a different group walked by her. These ones stopped beside her.

"So who's the father Debra, huh?" one of the boys laughed.

The others laughed too while Debbie stared at them in disgust, Nathan looked very uncomfortable. "What?"

"Probably a teacher, she always was a suck up," a girl giggled.

"Yeah, here let me grade your paper. Oh a B!" one boy laughed.

Nathan climbed to his feet, he looked mad. "Oh sod off, it's not true. He's her brother."

"No need to get jealous Nathan. She'll get to you eventually," the first boy said. They all walked away laughing between themselves.

Debbie stared after them with tears forming in her eyes, she even started to shake. "David," she could only say.

Nathan nodded, "yeah. He was telling all the boys in PE yesterday that James was your son. I got detention for yelling at him."

"But that's ridiculous, I was eleven when..." Debbie stuttered.

Another group of girls pushed by her on purpose. One of them threw what looked like a baby doll onto the ground when she did. One of them made a fake baby cry as well. Debbie struggled to keep her composure as they walked away, laughing.

A flash of white assaulted James' eyes for a second, the pain that came with it felt like someone squeezing his brain while digging their nails in. It was far worse than the earlier one, his hands instinctively flew up to his head as if that would help. Obviously it wouldn't. Through the small cracks in between his fingers the amount of light dimmed instantly, almost as if somebody turned off a light. Different colours darted around while multiple voices collided together, creating an audio blur.

The hand that mostly covered his eyes shakily lowered. Then he realised that the location must have changed in that moment. Now he stood in a bustling classroom. The only door to it was next to him, and when it opened he recoiled to avoid it hitting him. Not that it mattered, not here, it was just his normal reaction.

What wasn't normal was the classroom's sudden silence once the door opened. Thanks to his proximity to it, he got the best view of the person who walked in's reaction to the rest of the class. As they began to laugh, some yelling hurtful things, her eyes tried to blink away the tears while her face lost all of its colour. There were dark rings under her eyes, her normally shiny blonde hair lay flatly on her shoulders. The most striking part of her, those bright blue eyes had dimmed to nearly grey.

It was hard enough seeing Debbie again after all this time, and after everything... but seeing her like this stung him even more. The sound and images of the laughing kids misdirected the anger he had at Nathan. He wanted badly to stop this, even though he knew it was impossible. More than that, he wanted to reach out to his distressed sister to help her. Then he realised something.

This is because of me. As soon as he thought that he heard adult Nathan's voice snigger maliciously all around him. Despite it being so quiet, it still managed to stick out over the top of the other noise.

The image of Debbie turning on her heel and running back out the door clashed with another, this one of her hiding in a bathroom stall crying. Before James could really react to seeing it, the image overlapped yet another. The images of distress only lasted a few seconds at a time, there was so many of them. Watching them made him forget the pain in his head, he was now feeling something much worse. That feeling he knew very well.

"Stop. Please stop," he found himself begging quietly and he didn't only do it once. He repeated it over and over again.

The next image that was thrown in his face lasted a little longer than the others. Nothing seemed as traumatic about it, so he hoped that worked. He knew better though. All of them contained a kick to the gut somewhere. All it seemed to be for now was a regular assembly of students in a large hall. A teacher stood on the stage with a PADD in hand, every now and then gesturing it towards a big screen behind her.

James turned his back on it, even though he knew that didn't work when this all started. Why would it now? He could hear the teacher talking, some whispering amongst the students. Nothing awful, not yet. His whole body tensed as that turned into hysterical laughter from so many people. That wasn't all, soon some people were chanting the same exact word at different times. They managed to sync themselves up pretty quickly while the teacher tried to calm them all.

"Slapper," was the word. It was only a few kids out of the hundreds he saw before. Maybe only a few dozen were laughing. It was still excruciating to hear though. He told himself he wasn't going to look to see what triggered this. He didn't want to know.

As he thought that something blurred straight through him. They ran for the nearby double doors, pushing them both open as she flew through them. It was obvious who that was. As if he had no control over himself his body turned back around to the way it was before. It took him a few seconds to find what set the awful kids off. The big screen, a picture was on it that took all the willpower he had not to cry out in anguish, as well as hatred for whoever did this.

He didn't realise that while he stared at it, it shrunk down into a framed photo on top of a dresser. The area around it had changed as well, the laughter and chanting were gone. Still his hand shakily reached forward to grab it. At the last moment his hand retreated back. There was a figure standing directly beside him, his arm and her shoulder little more than a centimetre apart from each other. His head turned, she looked like she was engrossed in the picture as well.

Looking back at it, he remembered the day the picture was taken so clearly. Now he did anyway. Debbie had taken him from nursery so they could spend a rare warm day in March together. Nathan had also sneaked out of school to join them later, but the parts with only the two of them were what he remembered more vividly. Then another important detail came to him. Her favourite place, she took him there. It was a simple country path going through their town, unspoiled by modern life. It was peaceful and green, very green. The feature she loved the most was the views.

He remembered one view in particular, a one that could be seen from one of the bridges, not far from where they lived. James remembered why he could never go there again when he was older. It always bothered him. Everytime he walked by it on route to school he'd stop and hurry down a side path to avoid it, almost instinctively.

There they could see for miles. Debbie would point out distant houses, all the while asking him what kind of families lived in them. He'd see a couple of horses in a far out field, she'd laugh and tell him about a one that chased her once just because she held an icecream. The hill so far away, she used to say there was probably another little boy looking right at them too and tell him to wave.

It all came back so quickly, it hit him so hard there were tears in his eyes. The picture was taken right there as Debbie sat in between the bars of the bridge. Her eyes were as he always remembered them; sparkling and bright. A wide toothy grin was on her face, making her face brighten up even more than usual. Her blonde hair, platted into a pony tail caught in a breeze, the picture capturing the moment it flew off to the right.

Nathan had caught up with them when they were here. He had nagged James to sit on his big sister's lap so he was apart of the picture. He never liked taking them at that age so it took some doing. He had managed though. She had lifted him up to give him a cuddle, all the while pressing her cheek into his. He had a similar smile on his face. For a moment James finally saw what a lot of people used to comment on. No wonder nobody really suspected them of being merely half siblings, in this one picture they did look far too similar for that.

It felt like a big insult thinking that, he hated himself for it. Debbie was a beautiful girl both inside and out. She lit up every room she was in. He was nothing like that. They only shared blonde hair and blue eyes, that's all. The picture itself felt like it agreed with him, their eyes stared directly at him. His younger self he imagined was angry at what he would become, while Debbie's was one of shame.

Voices were whispering behind him. He meekly looked back over his shoulder, only then realising he was back in the house at the beginning. Tops of two heads could just be seen over the back of the sofa.

"He... breaks things, they're afraid of him," Debbie's voice was the one he heard first.

"Debs, kids are clumsy, they don't know their own strength," Nathan's was next.

She disappeared, Nathan's position changed as well. Now voices were shouting in the room next to James. One of them always made him cower everytime it was raised, and even now it still did.

"Daddy, that's stupid. He's a normal boy. He likes running around, drawing, playing. He makes jokes. Even though he's afraid to when it's about him, he still sticks up for others," Debbie's sounded like it was in tears.

"Well that stops today. It's his fate," Peter's voice was loud and harsh.

"But..." Debbie's hesitated just as she reappeared on the sofa. What she said next came from there instead, "while all the other kids his age run around a playground, learn their times tables, making friends, he'll be home being trained how to fight. Human stuff is just going to distract him, make him dangerous."

Nathan's voice breathed in deeply. "It'll also make him not care."

"Yeah. He'll die before he has a chance to live, probably won't even see his twenties," Debbie stuttered.

Peter's voice suddenly shouted, which startled James enough to make him stumble backwards a few steps. "So what!? We had to make sacrifices to bring him here, didn't we? It's his turn."

"I won't let him," Debbie whispered. "I'm not going to give up on him. I'm not going to let dad take away his humanity. We have to protect him. He must live."

A deathly silence followed, James stared back at the picture during it. His father's words repeated in his head. Eventually only one of them lingered. Sacrifices. Then Debbie's mother's earlier remark flowed after it. "That baby is nothing more than a means to an end to your father. If he went with Kathy, he'd at least be with someone who loves him."

"I promise," Nathan's voice intruded. James looked over to the sofa in time for him to say, "on my life."

Bright sun light shone through the nearby window, James had to squint for a few seconds. His father's voice was shouting again, this time from another room. That wasn't what made him shiver though. It was the sound of his own voice, his younger self was wailing as loud as he could. Of course it only made his father's louder and madder.

To his far right side Debbie stood staring at the floor, her shoulders slouched. The teen version of Nathan stood with her, his jaw quivering. Something hit something else hard in the same place the voices came from, creating a loud bang. Nathan froze when he heard the frightened cries saying sorry over and over.

"This stops," Debbie whispered.

Nathan was still frozen in shock and or horror, it was hard for James to tell. He was feeling both himself. He winced everytime he heard his father shout something.

Debbie looked to Nathan, then she walked around to stand closely in front of him. "Nate, listen. We're leaving. It's the only way."

"What?" James said out loud, he frowned in her direction.

Nathan was confused as well, he stared her in the eye. "What do you mean you're leaving?"

Debbie looked ready to burst into tears again as another bang echoed out of the other room. "I can't protect him here. The first shuttle I see, we're sneaking on."

"You're... you're joking right?" Nathan stuttered with fear in his eyes.

"No. You know that..." Debbie said, gesturing behind her towards the noise. "Is just because he had one of my starship models. All I could do was stall dad until he could hide. As usual," she said that bitterly.

"Ohno, I gave him that," Nathan panicked, guilt looked like it haunted his face. "You said your dad threw out all of his toys, I just wanted..."

Debbie smiled weakly at him, "he smiled and said thank you. I saw it. It's not your fault. It's dad, he's... he's so different."

"That doesn't mean you and him should run away. Can't we tell someone?" Nathan stuttered.

"Dad hasn't done anything, that I know of. Not yet," Debbie mumbled uncomfortably. "No, he won't. After his birthday party I'll take him for one of our walks. That's what I'll tell mum and dad anyway."

Dread washed over James like a freezing cold wave, he started to tremble as if it really was. He looked around desperately. There had to be a way to stop all of this. He couldn't watch anymore, he feared for what he may see next.

"No toys, no friends, but he still gets a party?" Nathan said with a conflicted expression.

Debbie gave him a sour one back. "Mum and I ganged up on him. He can't say no to me. Unless I'm asking him to stop screaming at a two year old. Dad says it's his last one."

Something seemed to click within Nathan, he reached forward to gently hold both of her arms. It took her by surprise. "You can't leave. There's got to be another way."

"I was expelled," Debbie said. "Not going to school for six months will do that. My father's turned into a monster. Mum seems to be taking the ignore it until it goes away method of dealing. So why not?" Nathan looked really hurt at that response. She sensed it, her face strained to smile. "Come with us."

"I can't. This isn't a good idea. My family, yours too, will look for us. They'll find us. Imagine what your dad will do if that happens," Nathan stuttered.

Debbie's weak smile disappeared, all that was left was just weariness. "I... I must protect by baby brother. He doesn't deserve this. This is all I can do to save him. I can't think of anything else." Nathan was about to interrupt with a but. "You know me. I won't change my mind. I'll leave with or without you, you know that. I've got nothing more to lose."

"Yes. Yes you do," Nathan whispered.

"Don't do that. You can still come," Debbie whispered back, her voice showing the hurt.

"If I do, they'll find us. My parents have connections in Starfleet. We wouldn't last two days..." Nathan said, his face flinched. He stared at her with an intense look in his eyes. It seemed to make her feel even worse, she shook her head. "I'd only take that risk if... if I was sure."

"Sure, of what?" Debbie asked.

He merely answered her by quickly leaning forward to kiss her. James rushed forward to stop him without thinking, he just stumbled straight through them. His eyes widened as he almost walked into another Nathan standing behind the other one. It was the adult one that taunted him before, only something was off about him. There was a look of horror and disbelief that unnerved James when he noticed it.

"Nathan?" he blurted out.

Nathan's eyes met his, as they did he trembled. "James? You... what's happening?"

Debbie meanwhile pushed the younger Nathan away with a furious look in her eyes. "What the hell are you doing?"

She got a similar look back, "you invited me to run away with you. I wanted to be sure."

"Oh my god. You're my best friend. We made a promise to protect James, remember?" Debbie stuttered, she stepped backwards. What seemed to surprise her far more than the attempted kiss was his callous roll of the eyes.

"Of course, cos everything's about him now isn't it? How could I forget?"

Debbie's arm flew forward to point at the door to the passage. "Get out!"

James slowly looked over his shoulder to watch what was going on now. Adult Nathan hovered nearby, muttering to himself while shaking his head. He could make him out in the edge of his sight.

"No, what can I do to change your mind?" young Nathan asked sharply.

Debbie scowled toward him, "you've just convinced me otherwise. You were all I would regret leaving behind."

"This didn't happen," Adult Nathan muttered quietly, sounding more puzzled than upset. "I'd never do something like this." The look of disgust on his face couldn't have been easy to fake. James wanted to believe that this wasn't his doing. It couldn't be. This was thirty years ago and there the young Nathan was, acting like the imposter. At least make it convincing.

"What's going on?" Peter's voice demanded seemingly out of nowhere. It made his blood freeze on the spot. Then he saw him charge over with that all too familiar angry and violent expression on his face. He made a stand between his daughter and the young version of Nathan. He appeared to be just as scared of him as James was, startled by his quick appearance. "The lady asked you to leave. Out or I'll throw you out."

Young Nathan started to tremble, his eyes were widening in fear and confusion. "What, but why?" His frightened eyes tried to look at Debbie standing behind her dad. She abruptly turned her head away and grimaced tightly, one small tear squeezed through anyway. James wasn't sure if either Nathan saw it, but he did. "Debs?"

Adult Nathan wandered clearly into James' point of view, slightly to his right. He directed an angry face and gesture to his younger self. "This part I remember. I didn't know what I said to upset her. How, how are we watching this? Is it a Holodeck?"

"You tried to kiss her," James said plainly.

Nathan scoffed, more bemused than upset at that moment. "No. I'd remember something like that. I wouldn't have. Someone is trying to frame me, trying to trick you, or both." His face turned a little too white very quickly. "Although, how would anyone know what did happen to do this?"

To make things an even bigger headache than it already was, Nathan's voice laughed from neither of the two already there. "Yes, how exactly?" It came from directly behind them.

James couldn't help but groan at the now third Nathan to join the scene. He turned around to see him, while the youngest one was being strong armed into leaving the building. The new arrival appeared to be identical to the Adult version, physically anyway. His demeanour and attitude gave him a smug aura, it helped him keep the two separate.

Adult Nathan kept his eye on his younger self, as he cried out for forgiveness from his friend. Shoulders slumped, his eyes filled with tears. Unlike the new Nathan, his aura looked pitiful. James turned his head away to get that image out of his head, leaving only the third one in his sight.

"Fine, you got me with all of these flashbacks so far. It's over now, there's nothing more to see," he said irritably. "Now it's time to explain what you've done, and who you are. You can't mess with us any further."

The smug Nathan faked a look of surprise, making him seem offended. "That's what I'm doing. I'm all about the truth here."

"No way," the upset one said, now by James' side. "I don't know how you're doing this, or why. At least get it right. I wouldn't..."

The possible fake laughed in his direction, then turned his attention to James. "Believe this guy?" He turned back again. "These are your memories, made flesh. You can thank Jay here for that."

The name made James flinch, but it made Nathan angrier. "That's impossible!"

"We never lose our memories. They're all still in there," fake Nathan said, gesturing to his head. "Sometimes you just need to clear the paths to them. Meditate, hypnosis or like we have, cheat a bit."

"Cheat? What did you stab me with before this all started?" James asked him.

Again he was offended on purpose. "You have only yourself to blame there, Jay. You're the one who woke it up with your intrusion."

"Stop calling me that," James blurted out angrily. His head shook, it did nothing to calm him down. "Are you talking about the chip? No, if that were the case it would be my memories we'd be seeing. Not his, or your made up ones."

Fake Nathan casually shrugged. "Oh, yours are mixing in there a bit. That much is true."

Nathan glanced between them frantically. "What the hell are you two talking about?" He stomped over to look his imposter right in the eye. "Forget it. I want to know why you look like me first. Stop doing this, show who you really are, you coward!"

He laughed again, "I am." The smugness was replaced by fake sympathy. "I think you know this, deep down. You always have."

"No I don't. You're talking rubbish," Nathan said.

"Oh? My best friend threw me out for no reason. I slept walked into a fourteen year old's room and..." fake Nathan giggled maliciously. "Oops."

James slowly looked directly at Nathan, unsure of what to think. Nathan noticed him do it and turned his own head away. "No. You're just..."

"Ignore him. If these are your memories then there's nothing more he can show us," James said. "That's why he's..."

The fake Nathan's smile grew inhumanely large, it creeped them both out, while the scenery behind and around him blurred, distorted until the room was gone. His figure merged into it, finally vanishing from both of their sight. The colours around them started to change. A mix of greens, grey and browns. A light breeze blew by them while they sharpened gradually into shapes.

It took everything James had and probably more to not only fall to his knees, but scream out loud as well. Instead he remained frozen on the spot, his face locked in despair and pain.

He could only watch as Debbie lead the wary toddler by the hand along a wide up hill path, with her parents following closely behind. The child would turn his head back at their father with a fearful glance, which earned him a fiery eyed stare back.

Susy carried two bags; one on her shoulder, the other loosely by her side. For the first time during this whole thing she looked content. However she was the only one.

To their left stood an old church surrounded by large blossoming trees. It must have been at least half a millennium old. A mix of modern and slightly aged houses of varying styles lined parallel to it. Straight ahead of them appeared to be the town. The path they walked on would eventually branch off when the ground levelled. One would lead to the town centre, while the other would take them to the park.

The park itself was apparently built over an old circular road when it was no longer needed. The parts of the road that lead away from it were kept as walkways, as one lead to the other side of town. The side of town where the school was that James recognised. Seeing this reminded him. It sat in the quieter side, where all the cultural things were; the library, a miner's monument, a car museum of all things. No wonder it was quieter.

The other branching path from the park lead to the south side of it, which was identical in style. Both parks would be seen on either side of the town centre; which was simply one T shaped street. James remembered Debbie remarking that the design of this park sitting in the middle of the town probably looked like a smile and blushing green cheeks from space. The main town being the eyes and nose. He had asked what the other side of town was, and she had said it was a ponytail like hers blowing away and had laughed sweetly at his probably amused face.

That first park was as far as they were going. At least that was the plan. James was tempted to step in and do something, anything to keep them there. Although he knew he couldn't, he hadn't been able to do anything so far.

The family finally settled at the edge of the park, just under some trees. It was a good spot to look over both sides of the town; one side with the slightly new two storey library, and the other with its bars and cafes welcoming people to the fun side of the place.

The summer sun managed to get through the clouds, triggering a light breeze to try to ruin it. A day like this, it didn't matter to anyone. Everyone who lived there were used to worse anyway. The town's nickname of Wind Tunnel was well earned. It was also better than rain or snow.

Susy and Debbie lay down a table cloth onto the grass, the latter scowled at her father while she did it. He looked in distaste back at her, as if what they were doing was beneath him. That's a woman's job, he would usually say. The toddler meanwhile was eyeing the nearest tree, which had a couple of tiny apple's still growing in its higher branches. He still tried to reach for them, despite the closest one being two foot higher than him.

Debbie saw him, it lightened her bad mood a little. A big smile appeared on her face as she reached to cuddle him, then put him on her lap. The gesture cheered him up momentarily until Peter said something harsh.

Their voices were a little hard to make out. Likely because James' memory of this wasn't exact until later, this part was always a little hazy.

As if on cue he heard Debbie scold her dad, "oh dad. Don't be mean. I think he's adorable."

"Then you can keep him," their father said, clear as day.

James was about to turn away so he couldn't watch anymore, dread coursing through him. Only before he did it something caught his eye and stopped him. Susy smiled as she brought out a cake from her larger bag, it had three candles sitting in it.

This part he had forgotten. Maybe he wanted to. Despite that he watched her light the candles.

That was enough, he thought. If he watched anymore then whatever was taking Nathan's form couldn't torture him any further with these memories. Instead he was forced to watch the real deal breaking down into a gibbering mess. That made sense.

Only it didn't, James realised. He wondered how, no why Nathan was reacting to this. It was just a family gathering, a one he wasn't witness to. He didn't know what would follow this. Everyone else involved in this particular memory weren't around anymore. Sure James knew what was coming, but Nathan shouldn't.

Then he spotted him. The teenaged version of him observing the family from the swings, barely drifting backward and forwards.

"What?" was all James could respond with.

"Oh god. I tried to forget. I had."

"You were there?"

"I... wanted to talk to her before she left. Stop her from leaving, say sorry. Though I didn't know why she was so angry with me."

James couldn't watch him either. What was happening behind him was just far too painful to think about. What was left? Instead he focused on the part of town with the bars and cafes. Since it was a nice day all of the ones he could see had the tables and chairs outside, all of which were full. All the people were laughing and chatting, soaking in the rare sun.

They would be fine. Their day would go by normally, some pleasantly. Some would have things on their mind, or would have some bad luck, but not like the Taylors would. It was just another summer's day for them.

James would never forget this day, no matter what date it happened on. The date just made it that much harder.

"Go on. Blow out the candles," he heard Susy say.

He remembered this now. He had tried to do that, but only got two of them. Dad would remark that he was in the terrible two's forever, and sure enough that's what he said seconds later. He remembered Debbie's laugh, but he didn't realise until now how forced and painful it was.

Now that he knew and he had seen everything building up to this. Or it was only because he was older, and not an innocent and naive three year old. Who knows? She wasn't laughing out of humour, she was trying to put up a facade for him.

"Just ignore the old misery, sweetheart," Susy said. That line was ingrained in James' memory, he winced, it wasn't long now. He kept watching the people enjoying themselves in the town. He tried to tune her out and listen to them, it was never going to work. "I'll tell you what. Why don't I get you and James an ice cream too."

No. Don't.

He may as well have been telling the sun not to go down. "I'm sure you can handle him for five minutes."

"That's a great idea, mum," Debbie said. The tone of voice, James had missed it when he was young. It was probably the only thing she said that sounded hopeful and happy, not faked. Why?

Then there was something else he didn't remember. "It's here somewhere," she said quietly. James turned around without even thinking, just catching her bring out a bottle from Susy's bag. Alcohol. It all came flooding back to him now.

Nathan stammered what he was thinking. "Bullied out of school. Parents were fighting constantly. A half brother suffering from abuse. She did whatever she could to dull the pain."

And mine too. It never fit with his image of Debbie, so James thought that it was just his imagination, a child's version of events that were never true. Only it was. Near the end she would sneak a drink or two, then let him have one as well.

"I wanted her to stop," Nathan interrupted his thoughts. "It didn't work, it only made her sadder." His voice suddenly became more desperate. "No, no!"

James knew he couldn't stop it, but he ran towards the scene anyway. While Debbie hunted through her own bag, his younger self looked at his dad who was now standing far away admiring the view. He ran off in the opposite direction. It took a few seconds for Debbie to pull out a PADD, then turn to find her brother gone.

There wasn't anything he could do. He could yell or point in the direction he went all he liked, she wouldn't hear him. Debbie desperately looked around as she scrambled to her feet. She focused on two directions. The way they came or the busy part of town. She chose the first option, all the while yelling his name.

James didn't see him until he ran straight through him; young Nathan ran after her, screaming for her to go another way.

"No, no. Keep going," the adult Nathan said as his alter ego stopped at the branching path. He wailed in despair as he headed into town instead, straight after the young James.

"I remember now," James mumbled, then turned his attention to the adult Nathan. It was torture to see the guilt forming on his face. "You..."

It got darker all of a sudden, forcing him to look up. The breeze had pulled in some thicker clouds, not many but enough to block the sun for a time. It was still quite warm. When James looked back down he was no longer in that park. Yet he was still surrounded by green. Trees were now on both sides of him, he stood on a concreted path. It was deathly quiet, no one was around. He could just make out the edge of town, only visible as it stood on the cusp of the hill next to him and he was a few metres below it. The medical centre, the roofs of the market stalls next to it. He could make out the low buzz of voices from the people there.

His younger self ran by him, mostly pulled by the steep hill they were on. Once he reached the bottom he slowed down greatly. James chose to follow him, drag him back to his sister. Maybe he'd stop it. He knew where Debbie went after all. He shook those thoughts away, they were ridiculous. He couldn't stop this, it was set in stone, this was just an hallucination or a vision. The only way to deal with it was to close his eyes until it was over. It wouldn't be long now.

He couldn't even do that though. He felt his eyes were definitely shut, and yet he could still see everything as if they weren't. The younger Nathan blurred by him as well. The adult one was right behind him, but moving slowly, his face still showing great pain.

The ground levelled instantly, disorienting them for a moment. The trees around them changed. The light above their heads had faded even further. James looked up, the clouds overhead were closer together. Each of them a miserable grey.

"Come on James, it's okay," they each heard young Nathan cry out. "Big sis is going to protect you. You don't have to run away again." A small squeak followed, as well as a rustle in the bushes. Young Nathan walked over to the side of the straight path, towards the trees and undergrowth. They all saw a small figure hiding behind a prickly bush.

Nathan's face tightened when his younger self carefully approached it.

"You were the one who found me," James said quietly.

Adult Nathan tried to swallow a lump in his throat. "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"I should have followed her. I saw which way you went, she didn't."

"You didn't know what would happen," James tried to convince him. He heard a sinister chuckle being carried by the breeze. It was so quiet, he thought he imagined it.

"No... if I'd been more supportive, maybe you two wouldn't be separated at all."

"You tried. That's enough..." He heard it again, this time it was loud and so he was definitely sure it was real. Nathan reacted as if he heard it as well.

Young Nathan crouched down in front of the bush. "What are you doing giving us a scare like that?" The kid flinched as he gestured for him to hold his hand. "I'll go get her. You wait here."

Nathan stepped forward, his face blustered. "What? Another change. No, that..."

James gave him a confused glance, "you forgot this part too?"

"No, this wasn't how it happened," Nathan stuttered.

His younger self didn't let him off the hook, "I'll bring her here. Then she'll take you away from here. Promise kid." He got no response again, making him sigh. He climbed to his feet.

"No, this is wrong. Why is it being changed?" Nathan said in a blind panic.

"It's not. I remember this," James said. The look of horror he got from Nathan unnerved him further.

Tiny drops of water fell from the sky, one landed in his eye which he tried to blink away. He looked back up and saw the grey clouds were mixing with black ones. The wind picked up, blowing the drops of rain almost sideways. As before when James looked back down the area around them had changed again. It was the same path, just further down, right before a bridge.

That bridge. Metal, painted green like all the others. It would only take a few steps to walk across it, and yet it had built in benches on one side so people could take in the views. He and Debbie had sat there in order to take that picture, but she wanted to sit on the bridge itself so the hills and fields were in the shot too. They spent so much of their time there.

A figure was standing on it, gazing at that same view, details obscured by distance. Somebody walked by James but by the time he noticed him, he was already ahead of him, with only his back being visible.

"What's this?" Nathan asked.

The figure on the bridge got clearer the closer the other figure got to them. James and Nathan both knew who it was before then. It was her spot, her favourite place. Where they last saw her, she would have merely stepped into the back streets as soon as she walked into the town, and walked downhill. Or she could have gone from the back streets to that market and managed to follow young James after all, without even knowing. Either way she was there, but how they were able to see that, James didn't know.

Debbie's face was clear now. She'd been crying, as well as running for so long she was out of breath. Then she noticed the figure approaching, they just made her groan irritably. "Now's not the time."

"Oh? I thought you were looking for James," Nathan's voice said.

The real Nathan widened his eyes in shock and anger. "What? I never saw her again. This is rubbish!"

The figure moved to the side slightly as his hand went to his hip, then James saw his face. Sure enough young Nathan was the figure, now standing on the bridge with Debbie. He turned his head away as a rush of emotions attacked him. So many of them he couldn't differentiate between them. It made him feel sick, dizzy. That thumping headache came back, making him want to scream as well. Instead he just stood still with his eyes glazing over, thankfully obscuring any view he had left until he was forced to see something.

"How... have you seen him?" Debbie asked frantically.

"Yeah. Further back on the line."

"Why didn't you bring him with you?"

"Dunno. The squirt's afraid of me. What have you been telling him?"

"Nothing. He's almost always afraid. Dad giving him a birthday present helped with that," Debbie's voice was angry, pained. "Mine will be me taking him onto a shuttle when I find him. I haven't told him yet. I should have, he wouldn't have run away again."

Young Nathan smirked a little, "wouldn't it be better to let him run this time? He'd be free from the abuse, you could have your life back."

"How dare you!" Debbie shouted at him. "Jay is the only thing in my life left that's good. The only one who hasn't betrayed me."

She got a scoff, "ironic. He's the one that caused all of this in the first place."

"No he didn't," Debbie argued.

"Mum and dad arguing," Nathan said while counting one with his finger. A second one popped up, "dad turning psycho." Debbie trembled for numerous reasons as a third flew up. "Little Jay pissing off the bullies so you have to skip school all the time." The fourth finger made Debbie's blue eyes flash with rage. "He takes you away, causing a rift between us."

"Right! Cos he was the one who not only forced a kiss, but got mad about it," she snarled. "Jay hasn't done anything to me."

"Except getting you bullied and expelled," young Nathan said nonchalantly.

Debbie didn't let that get to her, or so it looked. "Shut up. He tried to protect me. David was already bullying us anyway." She was annoyed when he rolled his eyes. "If the old Nate was real and not you faking; the sweet, funny and selfless guy that's my best friend. You'll tell me where James is and then go away."

"Hmm, not far from those alien looking dudes," young Nathan answered. Her eyes widened slightly. "They'll find him, don't worry."

She was shaking a lot more violently now. "What did they look like?"

A flash penetrated the air in between the two on the bridge and the pair nearby. James hoped that meant that this was over, there was nothing else to see. Instead a large bubble had formed beside him, showing another part of the path yet again, only the bridge could still be seen behind it all. He was shocked to see a pair of vampires standing under some trees, only moving out when the black clouds flourished. They didn't see the young Nathan stumble across them and quickly disappear into the tall weeds nearby.

"Supposedly it's Human this time. We should kill it while it's young, no need to wait for the mind reading guys to steal the show," one said.

"Really? Good, this town's not as dead as I was told. Nowhere discreet to eat," the other said.

"You're relying on old information again you fool. The shopping mall is the perfect place on a day like this. I'll get first taste for that idiocy," the first one said.

They walked down the path. If James was right, in the direction away from the town towards the villages at the bottom of the hill. Near that bridge. Another flash took away the odd bubble to bring the focus back on the pair standing on it.

"Ohno. That's the creatures dad warned me about. Lets go get him before they find him," Debbie continued to panic. She attempted to go back in the direction of the town, but Nathan blocked her way.

"Oh relax, I already told them," he said.

"What?" she stuttered.

"I threw them off the trail," young Nathan casually said.

Debbie relaxed a tiny bit, "thank you, now can we..."

Young Nathan was the opposite, he studied her carefully. "What happens when you do? You're really taking off as soon as you get him? No goodbye's, nothing."

"Nathan not now. My baby brother's in danger," Debbie said.

"No he's not. When I tell them where he is, then maybe," Nathan said.

She looked like she was about to be sick. Only her voice gave her anger away. "What?"

He fished a PADD from his pocket, one tap on it and she could hear the vampires voices talking. Debbie tried to grab it from him, but he held it high out of reach. "They can't hear us yet. I can tell them where he is or I can direct them to the Dump." His other hand gestured west, behind him.

James didn't see him do it, he kept his back on them. Even still he had an idea where he meant.

"It depends on you. All I want is some closure," young Nathan continued.

"Closure? Vampires want to eat my little brother!" Debbie yelled.

"They won't. I just want a goodbye. That's all, not hard," young Nathan said.

"Fine. Bye."

"No, no, too literal. I need a one that means something, something I've wanted for a while."

Adult Nathan shouted suddenly, "this didn't happen! This isn't me!" His voice was shaking, desperate. "Whoever, whatever, stop this now!"

Nobody listened. Nathan realised that even James appeared to be somewhere else, staring in the opposite direction at nothing. Standing still, almost frozen. Nathan felt himself crumbling away, he supposed James was doing the same.

"You're sick, Nate. The only meaningful thing you'll get from me is my fist in your jaw," Debbie said.

"Do that and Jay dies." Debbie flinched in horror, all of her anger bubbling at the surface seemed to dissolve in an instant. "Think, freedom. No whiny brat crying all the time. Dad may lighten up. Maybe him and mum could make up. We could go back..."

"Never," Debbie hissed at him. "Those things you said, are the faults of the same people. Dad lost mum cos he cheated on her. He blames James cos if he didn't exist he wouldn't have been caught. Even though it's the 24th century, and accidents like that don't happen that easily. He wanted a son, he always did. Mum wouldn't give him one, so he went elsewhere. Dad's just a fool. And us... you thought that cos I'm a girl that I owed you a relationship. I wish I hadn't have wasted my time with you."

Nathan turned away from all of this too, he couldn't take it anymore. It seemed to be the right thing to do at the right time, the sound of arms being grabbed and Debbie's angry groan chilled him to the bone.

"No, I'll find him myself. Go to hell," she snapped.

"I'll tell them. Don't think I won't."

"How could you?"

"I'm not asking for much, Debs. I don't need that much time. Surely the way you go on, he's worth ten minutes."

She must have spat at him, the sound of it unmistakable. Nathan briefly turned his head to look over his shoulder, just catching his younger self, no his imposter wiping something from his cheek. He quickly turned back to avoid seeing more.

"You're the one who's not worth it," she said.

"Just think. Your suffering is for a reason. Your life needed to be ruined to bring in the little future hero, right? How many people's lives are you damning by letting him die? What's a nice time between two good friends compare with all that?"

"I don't care about any of that! He's my brother. I love him, no, love's not a strong enough word. He's precious to me. He's not the cause of my suffering, the people who see him as such are." The sound of her voice gradually breaking into tears, it made James' throat swell and throb, his eyes squeezed shut.

"Then save him. Like you made me promise."

"This isn't what I meant."

Young Nathan laughed darkly, "no. If I gotta protect the little freak then I need compensation." A grunt followed. A few footsteps scraped against the metal of the bridge. "Fine. You love him but not enough to save him at your expense. There's your answer."

"No!" she exclaimed. There was an awkward silence for almost a minute. "I... I'd do anything for him," she said through tears, or so it sounded.

Adult Nathan trembled horribly. The hatred for himself was coursing through him. All he wanted to do was to try to hurl himself off that bridge again. It would mean having to get close to what was happening behind him, he didn't have the strength. It wasn't real, what was the point?

They both heard a loud bang behind them. Nathan turned his head to see James' body and or his will had given up all together; he was on his knees, head in his hands. He could only stare at him helplessly. Shouts turned into screams behind him, the sound of a massive struggle haunted him further. His next thought made him hate himself even more. Why do I hear struggling, didn't she agree. It nearly made him sick. Maybe she tried to retrieve the PADD, perhaps she tried to fool him. Why couldn't he remember? Maybe he didn't want to. Is this even real? The people he loved the most, why? Who could be so cruel?

A chilling crunch stopped his thoughts. Then there was a deathly silence.

"Debbie," he whispered. "I'm... so sorry."

His voice sounded so pitiful compared to his younger self's one that immediately followed, it sounded nothing like him. "Hey! I don't believe this!" he shouted loud enough for his voice to echo down into the valley. Nathan saw himself in the corner of his eye kicking or punching at things; trees, even the metal of the bridge. "Stupid bitch. I'll just do this myself." He was charging towards him. Nathan wanted to hurt him but he just froze when he walked straight by him, the anger on his face, he didn't even recognise himself.

Only then he felt the rain pouring, soaking right through his clothes and to his skin. He looked up. It may as well have been evening. The dark clouds were completely black.

He realised James had finally moved from that spot, making his head turn to look for him. There he was, slowly walking towards the overgrowth just by the pillar of the bridge. A figure lay in it. Her blonde hair drowned by red. He had to look away before the bridge became all too tempting again.

It was worse than he ever imagined. James always thought that his wonderful sister was knocked out from the attack first, so she never suffered from the rest of it. Instead her eyes were left wide open in terror. The blood from her head injury pooled beneath her. James crouched down. With his trembling hand he reached over to gently stroke her cheek. A part of him hoped that like before he wouldn't be able to touch anyone, but this time she was tangible, real. The lump in his throat tightened, his eyes burned from the tears.

Before she disappeared from his life once again, he leaned over to give her a tender kiss on the forehead. A goodbye, an apology. He pushed the pointlessness of doing that to an hallucination, something in his head, to the back of his mind.

Then she was gone. In her place just an empty path. He could hear footsteps and the sound of one of the vampire's talking. "About our deal."

"It's off. I'm going to rip the little brat's head off, not you," young Nathan growled.

The vampires both laughed. "A parasite like you? A three year old Slayer would win by coughing."

They clearly misjudged him. He tore off a nearby tree branch and swung it forward. One disintegrated instantly, its head turned to dust as it hit the ground. The other had dodged out of the way in time, he lunged forward to attack. They struggled for a short while before Nathan plunged the weapon into its heart with such a force, it stumbled backwards and fell down the steep ravine. He didn't land, he was dust long before he got there.

He continued walking, the path disoriented around them so it looked like he was walking on the spot. Finally he reached the bush, where the tiny figure still hid. The anger distorted and then vanished from his face in an instant as he walked forward.

"There you are," he said, relieved. He ran the rest of the way. As he did the toddler climbed out quickly, despite the many thorns that pricked him on the way. Young Nathan seemed even more worried as he noticed the little boy shivering in his soaking clothes. He lifted him up to his chest, clutching him as tightly as he could. He ran off, leaving the adult versions of both behind.

"All of that... happened in between," Nathan stammered. James looked at him without turning his head. "I found you. I ran back to town. Security found us. None of that happened."

"You haven't figured it out yet?" his own voice cackled out of nowhere. "The memory lapses, the sleep walking, this? It's clear and then it's pouring, surely you noticed that. Did you think you spaced out for half an hour?"

"Quiet. It's just a trick," Nathan snapped.

"Jay remembers."

Nathan looked around desperately, the voice still didn't seem to come from anywhere. It surrounded them. "You're a monster."

"We're one in the same. You know that. Why do you think the brat never liked you."

Nathan looked towards James again. He was still in the same spot as before, unable to look at him. He didn't blame him.

"You have no one to blame but yourself. So focused on a Slayer's sister, with her gone, who could compare? You made me resort to this."

Nathan shook his head, "no, I don't understand. You're not me. You must be an alien, or a demon trying to hurt me. I don't believe this."

"If you had just played along there'd be no reason to do this. We'd both be free. Accept it."

Lights attacked their eyes for a moment. The scenery distorted, melted away until the image of the Brig sharpened around them. Nathan noticed first that he stood closely to James, who was slouched against the wall with a nasty red puncture in the side of his forehead. His eyes were closed, clearly unconscious.

Nathan clambered backwards until another wall stopped him. When he hit it, James appeared to come around groggily. Nathan noticed the needle like device in his own hand, it had blood all over it. In his shock it rolled off his palm and onto the floor.

"I... it wanted me to... help it move on. When I didn't. Oh god. Debbie, that girl. No," Nathan stuttered.

James struggled to get up. While he did so his hand touched the wound, which made him focus on Nathan instead. To him, his eyes looked dead. Flat and lifeless. After what he had seen he hoped they would turn red or black soon. A cold shudder went through him. Her screams were gone but he could still hear them. Debbie's smiling face flashed in his mind. Then all he could see was the frightened toddler he let down. Without realising it at first he was staring at the grown up version now standing, gazing towards nothing, frozen.

"She had lost everything but you. She thought she'd lose you as well. I thought she'd do anything to prevent that," Nathan said.

Nothing.

"Even still, she fought back. Give her two options, she'll find a third."

Still, he got no response. This wasn't the way to get his attention.

"She died for you."

That did it, James' eyes drifted towards him.

"See this son, you did this," Peter's voice hissed in his head.

"You wonder if it was worth it. All you've done..." Nathan continued.

"I hope you live with this for a long time."

"Good or bad," Nathan said as if nothing happened. "Would she be proud or full of regret?"

All the faces of the people he had hurt or killed briefly flickered into James' thoughts, blurred into each other. Their voices all shouted at him. Nathan's words inevitably came to the surface clearly. "She didn't die so you could hit people that wronged you. Kill people. Act superior to everyone. She did it as she thought your life was worth more than hers. The people you have saved, have they tipped the scales yet?"

No. One death weighed a hundred times more than any he may have helped, if any. He told himself that when Lena was possessed by Ylara that he did the right thing, putting Earth first. Lena would have wanted him to do that. Only he knew he could have took care of both. He could have talked to her, convinced her to stay. Then she'd undo what Ylara had done.

"Didn't think so," Nathan's voice intruded.

When Voyager was about to be torn to bits by an anomaly only he could close, he didn't even count that either. That probably only happened, Deck Thirteen as well, because he was there. Why bother if he wasn't? If he wasn't on board Voyager, it wouldn't have been at risk.

The planet he nearly destroyed by his beaming down, playing the big hero out of ignorance, but instead triggered what he tried to prevent. If it wasn't for Jessie, billions would have died, because of him.

Frenit on New Earth was only a threat as James had killed his daughter in self defence. That one was obvious.

The people in the Mess Hall he thought he was saving by choosing to get a rigged to explode Jessie away, that only happened because of her relationship with him. He probably only convinced himself he was saving them, but he was just being selfish as always.

Jessie. Apart from helping her avoid losing her witch powers, what good did he ever do for her? Her dying, getting injured, all the grief. She'd tell him it was worth it, but he didn't think so.

"Don't you dare judge me. I'm not the one bringing innocent children into this freak show, cursing two of them, infecting them!" Rachel's voice yelled at him again.

I am a monster. She was right. A selfish idiot at least, making excuses for everything. Dad was right about me. I'm nothing more than a pathetic coward, running away from what I'm supposed to do. His heart sank as that realisation hit him hard. What could he do about it now? The damage was done.

"Maybe it was for the best that she didn't see you as you are now," Nathan said coldly. "I did her a favour."

Anger started to rise to the surface, but he wasn't sure who it was for; himself or whatever was controlling Nathan.

"You're Human first, Lena. Please don't forget that," he remembered saying not long ago.

Internally he scoffed. That was true for Lena, as well as Sandi and Kevin. Zare. He however, the signs were there all along. He had told himself so many times, which he ignored ignorantly. He wasn't Human. Human's don't put themselves first, cause so much suffering while doing so. He wasn't any better than any monster he had killed. No better than the Softmicron and their mission to suck dry habited worlds and create super soldiers. No, he was worse.

"We were best friends but slowly and surely you took over her life, her affections," Nathan said. James then realised he had been talking all this time, further proof he thought. "She was going to abandon me for you. What choice did I have?" The tone tapped a switch in James' head. All he could see was red. He didn't even think it, he threw himself at the face gloating towards him. His hand went for his throat as the body slammed back into the wall.

Nathan's sneering face was now locked in a grimace, it slowly turned blue. Then James saw it. Relief in his eyes, the pain. His hand loosened its grip. The panic in Nathan's eyes afterwards confirmed his fears.

"You wanted me to kill you," he whispered.

Nathan made a sound barely through his bruised throat. Blood shot eyes widened in fear. His face scrunched as if he was trying to appear menacing, or evil. It just looked wrong. His eyes continued to give him away. James let go completely. He must have been holding him up, as he almost stumbled to the floor.

"I can't," James said.

"Please," Nathan begged through a croak. "For Debbie."

"That's why I won't," James said quietly. He turned to leave the cell, but Nathan grabbed his arm which he pulled back immediately. "Live with it. I have." He stepped out of the cell.

"No! I'm dangerous, sick. Kill me!" Nathan pleaded.

James looked away as he turned the forcefield back on. "No more. Never again." He left Nathan alone to sob into his hands.

The Conference Room:
"It's a parasite."

Tom squinted at the strange DNA sequences on the wall computer. Then he focused on the two watchers standing on either side, one of which looked a little too excited despite the situation.

"Fascinating," he continued. "I have never seen proof of it until now."

"How do we treat it?" Harry asked impatiently.

"You don't," Wesley answered. "Not without rewiring the host's DNA structure. It would kill him."

Chakotay folded his arms across the table, with a puzzled look on his face. "Hang on. A parasite in his DNA? How?"

"Yes. It's told that it lays dormant in the subject from birth until it moves on," Wesley said.

"Birth? Oh god," Craig stuttered.

"When the host reproduces, its own DNA structure is passed down into the child. It can remain in a family for generations, I suppose indefinitely," Wesley said.

Daniel pulled a face before looking at the screen again. "Wait, I've heard of this. These parasites never manifest. Their sole purpose is to exist. They're benign at best."

Harry stared at everyone with his jaw threatening to drop. "Benign. This isn't our guy then."

Tom would have sided with him normally, but something nagged at him. "What happens when the host has multiple kids?"

"Difficult to say as there's been no concrete evidence of it existing," Wesley replied. "The myth claims that once it has successfully been reproduced its consciousness moves on to the new host."

"Okay then so what happens when a host doesn't have any kids?" Tom asked.

Daniel inhaled sharply, it suddenly made sense to him. He smirked when he spotted Wesley looking a little bewildered at the question. Harry meanwhile looked embarrassed and covered his face with his hand to hide it. Chakotay rolled his eyes as if he got it hours ago and didn't want to say anything.

"Its sole function would be compromised. It needs a new host, so it would take over to make sure it gets one," Daniel said. Wesley gasped, most likely because he hadn't thought of it.

"But the way this one went about it. He or it sure drew attention to itself," Harry said.

"Did it? Until this week we had no idea," Tom said. "It took over Nathan's mother, got pregnant with Nathan, then moved into him. He in turn used Nathan to attack James' sister, but failed."

Craig cringed, "nice word for killing her."

"We didn't know until it tried again with Perla," Tom said.

Chakotay sighed, "I get why with her. Nathan's in his forties, still single, that would make it desperate."

"Yeah?" Tom said warily.

"But Nathan's mother was eighteen. Nathan and James' sister were thirteen, fourteen right? Teenagers. Why did it force its hand both of those times?" Chakotay questioned. "Nathan's mother wasn't dying or sick, was she?"

Craig looked down at the table, "she checked herself into a hospital whilst heavily pregnant, screaming to get rid of it. She claimed to have tried a few times but would suffer memory lapses, end up back home. They thought she was insane. Only during her evaluations she said she didn't want any kids, ever. She went for help to get him taken from her."

"It must have took over everytime she tried to abort," Tom said sadly.

Harry shook his head stubbornly, "an eighteen year old has plenty of time to change their mind later. It was a risky move."

"Plausible though," Tom said. "If its dormant it likely has plenty of time to study its host. It probably knew her state of mind on the matter, and it acted."

"Ok, what about Debra Taylor then?" Chakotay asked. "They were best friends. There was no hurry. They may have gotten together like her brother did with his friend, or he may have met someone else later. It makes no sense."

"Yeah," Harry said, full of thought. "If it gets a female host it has full control of the pregnancy. Nathan's mother makes sense. She carries out the attack and keeps the kid. Nathan though, carries out the attack and the girl he picked hurries to the hospital for an abortion, he gets locked up. Pretty big risk."

"That's probably why she's dead," Craig said grimly.

"But still doesn't explain why it picked her then and there," Chakotay said.

Wesley stepped forward to take a seat next to Harry. He and Tom looked over at him briefly, catching him sighing. "Yes but this choice had a Slayer brother. If it worked, it would have had him as an uncle. James with a demonic family member, that must have been very tempting for it."

The whole room fell silent for a while as they all thought about that.

Craig decided to break it, but still only in a quiet mutter, "what better way for a bored so called benign demon to do some damage for once."

Chakotay nodded, "seems like he succeeded anyway."

 

Jessie hurried down the corridor, struggling to keep her breath. She finally entered her quarters. As she did her eyes widened so quickly they stung a little. Something caught her eye, and it hit her hard in the chest. So hard it almost choked the life out of her.

The dark clouds still lingered.

 

TO BE CONTINUED

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