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Lilly is angered when she hears Faye's rare views on love and relationships, so she puts a spell on her to help her but it backfires. Meanwhile Jessie and B'Elanna clash with disastrous results.
My original plans were to completely reboot this episode. However even with my original 2020 deadline, there was no way I was going to make it to this one. I thought instead that I'd go through it and make some changes. I've hated this one for a while for only a couple of scenes. To be fair, I haven't read it in absolutely ages, so I hope it isn't as bad as I remember. Hopefully this won't take long. The two episodes that follow are to be edited as well, but far more minorly.
Also I've changed the name as you may have noticed. Originally "Put The Knife In", which was the name of the parody I made of another song. It pretty much had a back stab theme to it (only literal), so changing it makes it a little less edgey and unintelligable than it was before.
3rd December 2019
9th, 15th & 16th April 2003
the Mess Hall:
Yasmin, Kiara and Nikki were performing the song Put The Knife In on the stage. A group of crewmembers had gathered around the stage, while others just minding their own business at their tables.
Meanwhile Danny and Ian were sitting at a far away table. "So do you want to go to the holodeck tonight?" Ian asked.
"I thought Tom, B'Elanna, Jessie and James have took up both holodecks," Danny said.
"Dan, there is more than two holodecks on this ship. Besides, didn't they tell you that they're sharing a holodeck?" Ian asked.
"Oh yeah, I forgot about that," Danny laughed.
"It's Friday too, they'll be back in a hour or so," Ian said.
"Ok leave me alone, I thought it was Thursday," Danny muttered.
"So do you want to go tonight or what?" Ian asked.
"Yeah why not," Danny replied.
"Go where tonight?" James asked as he walked over to the table.
Danny and Ian glanced up at him looking confused. "Uh, why are you out of the holodeck now?" Danny asked.
James shook his head, "you do not want to know."
"Look I told you, you should have ignored all the people who said that using two holodecks for honeymoons would waste power," Ian said.
"You didn't tell me that, you were one of those people," James said.
"Now who's stupid Ian," Danny said.
"I didn't say anyone was stupid," Ian said.
"Um right. So what happened then, did Tom give you a hard time?" Danny asked.
"Do you want a flashback or the story?" James replied.
"Hmm.." Danny sighed. She glanced at Ian, he nodded. "Flashback everytime."
"I was hoping you wouldn't say that," James muttered.
"Well you shouldn't have suggested it," Danny said, she winked at him.
days ago, Holodeck Two:
James woke up to the sound of something plastic hitting off the balcony door repeatedly. He pulled himself out of the bed, he picked up some stuff as he did.
Meanwhile outside, Tom was on the neighbouring balcony. The balcony door opened, James stepped through it. "Tom, do you realise what time it is?"
"I'm well aware of the time, that doesn't matter. I'm just so glad you're wearing something," Tom said.
"And I'm glad you're wearing something, but I'm not glad you woke me up," James said.
"Oh I'm sorry, are you tired from the wedding night?" Tom asked sarcastically.
"Screw you Tom," James muttered in response.
"Nice choice of words," Tom grumbled.
"Look, what's up?" James asked.
"Well you're the only guy here that isn't holographic. Contact with the rest of the ship is unavailable for the whole week," Tom replied.
"What's your point?" James asked.
Tom looked very nervous. "You know forget it."
"I suppose I'll leave you to it then," James said, he went back through the balcony door. Tom groaned, he put his finger up at the balcony door before going through his own.
Danny was busy sniggering while Ian was just looking confused. "I don't get it," he said.
Danny burst out laughing, "oh I wonder what his issue was."
Ian laughed, "ohno, even Tom wouldn't bring that up..." Danny snorted, Ian hesitated.
days earlier, outside the holodeck resort:
B'Elanna, Jessie, James and a holographic girl were sitting or lying around nearby the pool.
"You cannot believe how brilliant this place is. My new hubby has been such a.." the girl was saying.
"Uh huh, what's this got to do with that restaurant?" Jessie asked.
"You never know, she probably was going to say her husbands been such a pig with all the food," James replied.
The girl gasped, "that's not what I was going to say at all. I mean he's been a fantastic lover."
"Did Tom program this one?" Jessie asked.
"She is annoying, that answers your question," James replied.
B'Elanna groaned, she sat up. "Would someone shut that tart up, she's really bugging me."
"I'd do it but I'm on vacation," Jessie said, she lay back down on the sun bed.
"Oh and that reminds me, I have a bone to pick with you Mister," B'Elanna snapped.
Jessie sat back up, "on second thoughts I have to get a drink." She climbed off the sunbed, she walked off sniggering.
B'Elanna glared at James. "What did you say to her?"
"Nothing much. Only 'what was all that about?' So, why do you want to pick a bone with me? I've played that game, it's not very good," James asked.
"Enough with the wise cracks, if you can call them wise anyhow," B'Elanna grumbled.
"Ugh, if you guys are not going to talk about anything interesting, I'm off," holo girl said. She got off her sunbed.
"Why did you even have the nerve to give Tom advice?" B'Elanna asked.
"I didn't give him advice," James protested.
"Oh ha ha, so funny. He came back into the room telling me that I should be more romantic, like humans," B'Elanna said.
Holo girl rushed back, "are you two talking about...."
B'Elanna glared at holo girl, "go away!" Holo girl sulked, she walked off. "What did you tell him exactly!"
"Nothing," James replied.
B'Elanna didn't let up. "You said something, whether it was to him or he overhead, it doesn't matter. What was it?"
"You're serious?" James stammered. "I didn't say anything, and I'm now kinda worried that he can hear through our walls."
"That's all you care about. What a surprise. All alike," B'Elanna muttered.
James rolled his eyes, "so I'm not allowed to talk to my own wife? Is Tom really that fragile? I only guessed what was matter, so did she."
"You should have kept out of our affairs. Please do that in future," B'Elanna snapped.
"Well I'm sorry he woke me and Jessie up," James said sarcastically.
"You should be, we never got any sleep last night," B'Elanna said.
"Hang on, isn't wedding nights supposed to be like that?" holo girl asked. James and B'Elanna glared at her, she laughed nervously.
"You're not going to get any air in a minute," B'Elanna grumbled.
"It's only a hologram," James said.
"Yes but you can still strangle them or push them under the pool water," B'Elanna said.
"Yeah, I'll leave that to you," James said.
"Finally, you've said something right," B'Elanna said. She got off the sun bed, holo girl screamed and ran for her life. B'Elanna chased after her.
Jessie came back to her sunbed holding two colourful drinks, she handed one to James. "What the hell is it?" James asked.
Jessie shrugged, she drank some of it. "I have no idea, I just saw Cherry and Coke in the ingredients. God knows what else is in it."
The bar guy came over to James and Jessie with more of the colourful drinks. Sitting next to them were lots of empty glasses. Nearby B'Elanna was busy drowning holo girl in the pool.
"Oh I forgot, I had a really interesting conversation with Mr Drama King when I was getting drinks," Jessie said, sounding a little drunk already.
"What did he say?" James asked, surprisingly sounding sober.
"Meh, it wasn't what he said, it was what I did," Jessie replied.
James laughed nervously, "oh... oh no."
Jessie eyed him with innocent eyes. "I only gave him some advice on what I think happened, gutter head."
"Nuh uh, that's not really what..." James said.
"Liar," Jessie teased, giving his arm a slight elbow nudge. "I gave him some advice, and I think he listened. Seemed like what I think was the right problem, hmm?"
James laughed quietly, "right."
"So then what happened?" Danny asked.
"Well Tom and B'Elanna spent the rest of the honeymoon arguing with each other, and with us. Well more accurately, B'Elanna was the one who argued with us. Jessie and I decided to leave a little early, to get away from it all," James replied.
Ian shook his head. "I dunno what to say. Well I think it's everyone but B'Elanna's fault, actually."
"Well it's Tom's because he bothered you on both your wedding night. It's yours because you broke the bro code when you told Jessie. It's Jessie's cos it sounded like she provoked things further. As far as I'm concerned, B'Elanna didn't do anything wrong," Ian replied.
"Oh well, at least I know who my friends are," James muttered.
"Hey don't get me wrong, I blame Tom a lot more than everyone else. He started it," Ian said.
"Well apart from all that bother, was the honeymoon any good?" Danny asked.
"Well I must admit, because of all the arguing Jess and I went out a lot, that was good. Basically every moment without Tom and B'Elanna was fine yeah," James replied.
"I'm going to go and find Jess, get some gossip from her," Danny said as she stood up. She giggled, and ran off.
"Oh dear, do you realise what Danny's up to?" Ian asked.
"I know exactly what she's up to, she's going to try and get more info about this Tom and B'Elanna thing," James replied.
"Yeah, that'll be second. She'll probably want to get background info on some other honeymoon thing," Ian said.
"You know your wife needs psychiatric help, she's obsessed," James said.
Ian grinned, "that's my girl."
Z5, the Bridge:
Emma and Carly were sitting at the back of the bridge, taking bets on something. Meanwhile Lilly and Scot were arguing about something at the front.
"I'm the Captain, of course I tell people what to do!" Lilly yelled.
"No, I mean you tell me what to do all the time! You're not the Captain of me!" Scot yelled back.
"Well I wouldn't have to if you knew what to do," Lilly said, folding her arms.
Carly and Emma laughed, "oooh wooh!"
Lilly and Scot glared at them briefly, they turned back to each other. "Well I can see why you haven't had a boyfriend before me," Scot said.
"Oh quit your whining you spoilt brat," Lilly muttered.
"Me? You're the spoilt brat. You were the one who got command at the age nine, daddy and mommy's girl," Scot said.
"Oooooh," Emma and Carly laughed.
"Oh you know I don't know why I even gave you a chance in the first place. This is so over," Lilly said.
"Good, I'm sick of being bossed around," Scot muttered. He stormed into the turbolift.
"Um, ooh," Emma muttered nervously.
Lilly rolled her eyes, "you don't have to be dramatic." She walked into her office.
Enterprise, the holodeck:
Jessie was busy looking through a bag on one of the sunbeds. Tom came over to her. "Hey Jess, can we talk for a sec?"
"All right," Jessie replied.
"I just want to apologise. I didn't mean to get you involved," Tom said.
"Wow, you apologised. There's hope for you yet," Jessie said sarcastically.
"You know I don't get it. When I'm mean to you, you're mean back. When I'm nice to you, you're still mean," Tom said.
"Well I'm sorry but because of you my honeymoon was slightly lousy," Jessie said.
"You didn't need to get involved," Tom said.
"Well I was actually trying to help, funny way of showing gratitude," Jessie muttered. She picked up her bag, and went towards the hotel itself.
Tom followed her, he grabbed her arm to stop her. "What kind of help was that, you were just mocking me."
"Half mocking, half giving advice," Jessie said. She continued to walk away, but Tom pushed her into the pool.
"Wonderful advice Jess," Tom said. He walked away, and passed James as he did.
Jessie surfaced at the side of the pool, not looking very happy at all. She put her bag onto the side. James rushed over to her. "What the hell." He knelt down and helped her out of the pool.
"Tom pushed me in, the b*****d," Jessie muttered. She and James stood back up.
James looked around to find Tom had long gone.
Lillyia Z5, Lilly's quarters:
Lilly, Jodie, Faye and Emma were sitting around eating icecream, and also watching a movie.
Emma giggled in a hyper way. The others glanced at her, eyebrows raised. "Haven't you seen this movie before?" Faye asked.
"Yeah but it's still cool," Emma replied.
"Hmm, the movie would be better without all the romance," Faye said.
"Nah, Buffy's worse when it comes to romance," Jodie said
"She's right," Faye muttered.
"Oooh, I love this bit," Emma giggled.
"You love every bit of that movie," Lilly said.
"So?" Emma said.
"Don't complain Lil, you're the reason we're having a girls night in," Jodie said.
"There's something I don't get," Faye said.
"What?" Lilly said.
"Relationships. Why do you people even bother, when it's going to go wrong. Nothing lasts forever," Faye said.
"This movie doesn't last forever, I still watch it," Emma said, not taking her eyes off the TV.
"That's different, you can rewind that back," Faye said.
"Hang on. You think cos it's going to end anyway that there's no point in having relationships?" Lilly asked.
"Well yeah, you're just going to get hurt," Faye replied.
"So, it's the same with everything in life. You're going to die someday but you still live, that's the way it is," Jodie said.
"That's a point," Lilly said.
"Fine, believe what you want. I'm happy the way I am, no relationships, or that getting a crush crap for me. Take it from me, it's better this way," Faye said.
"Please people, I wanna watch the movie," Emma moaned. The others groaned.
James and Jessie came through the doors, they went in separate directions. Jessie went down the corridor while trying to sort her hair out. Claire turned a nearby corner.
"Jessie, what happened to you? You look like you nearly drowned," Claire asked.
Jessie glared at her briefly. "Close to it, Tom pushed me in the pool."
"Aah, is he still alive?" Claire asked.
"For now. James and I went in different directions. You know the old find him first, you beat em up first game," Jessie replied.
"Oooh, can I help?" Claire asked.
"Sure," Jessie replied.
little while later:
Tom went into the Mess Hall, constantly glancing behind him. He sat down at one of the tables. Just as he sighed in relief, a shadow went over him and his table. "Please say that's Sandi, even Kevin would be nice," he muttered.
"You're getting warmer," James said.
Tom smiled nervously, "there's too many Slayers on this damn fleet."
"Can you turn around? I don't like hitting people in the back of the head," James asked.
"Um, I like sitting facing the table. It's more traditional," Tom replied.
"Ok, I'll turn you around myself," James said.
"It's not a spinny chair," Tom said.
"It doesn't need to be," James said.
Tom groaned, he stood up and faced him. "Oh fine, I'll get it eventually from either you or Jess." He was surprised to see James just smiling at him. "Did I miss something?"
"No," James replied, he pushed him onto the table. Some people who don't have anything better to do gathered around, to watch of course. James went over to the table, and leaned over Tom.
"Um, I hate to spoil it but we're both married," Tom said jokingly. Nobody laughed though.
"No jokes Tom, let's just keep this simple. Try to kill my wife again, and I'll murder you myself," James said.
"Oooh," everyone watching said.
"Um, I didn't try to kill her. I'm not like you," Tom muttered.
"Oooh," everyone said louder than before.
"What is this, a chat show?" Tom asked.
"Oh come on Tom, you know Jessie can't swim," James said.
"Oh crap, I forgot. I pushed her in the shallow end anyway," Tom said.
"She still could've gotten hurt," James said.
"Yeah and she didn't, right?" Tom said.
"No, but that's not the point," James said.
"Oh come on, this is boring," somebody moaned.
"Yeah you're right," James said. He pulled Tom off the table, and he threw him onto the ground. "Just apologise to Jess and I won't hurt you."
"Aaaaw," some people moaned.
"Does people not like me or something?" Tom asked himself.
Nikki pushed her way through the crowds, "I like you!"
"Apologise, no probs," Tom said.
"You have to mean it," James said.
"Let me just say that your way of getting a proper apology out of people, doesn't work too well," Tom said as he pulled himself to his feet.
"How should I hurt him?" James asked as he looked around the room.
"Noo, don't hurt him," Nikki moaned but she was drowned out by some of the crowd.
"It's ok, I'll apologise. But I can't do it with you threatening me," Tom said.
"Fine, but I doubt Jess will let you off," James said. He left the room.
"No, she's the worst out of you two," Tom said to himself.
Lilly was sitting on the floor of her room, she was busy doing what looked like a spell.
"Make ones who not love, love again. Let love reign where it didn't reign before," Lilly was chanting, from the book in front of her. A red light shone around the whole room.
James was wandering down a corridor, just any old corridor.
In: "Torres to Stuart, come to Engineering."
"Uh B'Elanna which.." James said.
In: "Torres out."
"One, me or Jess?" James muttered.
Danny, Naomi and several others were all busy trying to look busy. B'Elanna was standing around, waiting for something. James walked in, Danny rushed over. "Ooh, Jamesy I just came up with a joke," she said.
"Um, later," James quickly said. He went over to B'Elanna.
"Aaaw, it was a good one," Danny moaned.
"A sick one," Naomi grumbled.
"Was it me or Jessie you wanted?" James asked.
"You, sorry I forgot that she got rid of her other surnames on the comm system," B'Elanna replied.
"She got rid of them in every way. What's up?" James asked.
"I need your help with something," B'Elanna replied.
"I don't know much about Engineering," James said.
"Don't worry it's nothing too hard," B'Elanna replied. She headed towards the lift thing, James followed her.
"Then why can't you do it?" James asked. The lift started to go up.
"I would but I have other stuff to do. Quite a lot of my staff are skiving," B'Elanna replied.
The lift stopped at the top, quite a few couples were um busy making out. "I see what you mean. I have to break them up, or something?" James said.
"No, I can do that," B'Elanna said. She stepped off the lift, "get a room all of you!"
All the couples stopped what they were doing, they all ran off. "I hope you didn't bring me here to do that," James said as he got off the lift too. He and B'Elanna went over to the main station.
"Um, yes actually," B'Elanna said.
"Right.. wait, what? That's not funny," James said, sounding a little nervous.
"It's not meant to be funny," B'Elanna said.
James backed off, and ran as fast as he could.
Jessie was going down a corridor quickly, Tom ran up to her. "Jessie wait!" he called.
Jessie stopped dead, she glanced at Tom with an evil look on her face.
"Um, I just want to apologise. It was just a joke, I swear," Tom said nervously.
"Can we do this later, B'Elanna needs me in Engineering. At least I think so," Jessie said. She continued walking.
Tom followed her quickly. "You think?"
"She just said Stuart. Damn it, I really should have kept the Annet part of my name," Jessie replied.
"B'Elanna kept the Torres part for the comm array, you should have done that," Tom said.
"Don't you think I know that?" Jessie snapped.
"Gee, I'm sorry," Tom said quietly.
He and Jessie stepped into Engineering. Danny rushed over to Jessie. "Ooh, Jess I have a funny joke."
"Um, nice to see you too," Jessie muttered.
"Oh yeah I forgot. How was the honeymoon?" Danny asked, she winked at her.
"Fine, I have to see B'Elanna," Jessie said. She walked off.
"Only fine? Gee, James is losing his touch," Danny said. She started giggling, "touch, get it?"
"No, not really," Naomi said.
Tom groaned, "ugh I can't believe I used to go out with you." He followed Jessie.
"You went out with Tom?" Naomi asked.
"I was young and needed money," Danny replied nervously.
"Ok he paid you to go out with him, that's better," Naomi said.
"Uh yeah he did," Danny said, even more nervously than before.
Jessie and Tom got off the lift on the next level, they stopped in shock to find B'Elanna sobbing on the floor.
"Why, I loved him," was all they could make out.
Tom and Jessie glanced at one another with similar confused stares.
B'Elanna was now unconscious on one of the biobeds. Doctor Jones was busy scanning James. Lee was standing around doing nothing. Tom stood nearby B'Elanna.
"What's wrong with her, is it a love spell?" he asked.
"That's exactly what it is. Lilly called me saying she accidentally put a spell on someone different to who she intended," Doctor Jones replied.
"Who did she want to put a love spell on?" Tom asked angrily.
"I do not know," Doctor Jones replied.
Lilly rushed into the room. "Ok who has the love spell on them?"
"B'Elanna, and must I say... nice choice," Tom replied sarcastically.
"I didn't do it on purpose. Who did she fall in love with?" Lilly asked.
"James," Tom replied.
"Oh, that's not pretty. I'm really sorry, really really sorry," Lilly said.
"You're going to have to find Jessie, you need to apologise to her," Tom said.
"I'm sorry, god!" Lilly yelled.
"She's not here," Tom said.
Lilly stomped back the way she came.
"Why couldn't it have been Harry, I mean James is the worst person she could've fell for," Tom whined.
"Worse than Neelix?" the Doctor raised an eyebrow.
"No, you don't understand," Tom muttered.
Lilly was wandering down the corridor, still muttering to herself. Faye and Claire passed going in the opposite direction to her.
"Redo," Lilly muttered.
Faye stopped while Claire continued walking. "What did you say?" she asked.
"Nothing, nothing much," Lilly replied. Both girls continued on their way.
"Hey, wait up!" Tom's voice yelled.
James glanced behind him, he quickly glanced back and continued walking.
"Look I don't want you to be angry with B'Elanna. It wasn't her fault, it was a spell," Tom said as he walked beside him.
"Ohno, I'm sure it's me you blame," James said.
"Well you could've stopped her," Tom said.
James sighed, "I kinda did. I left."
"Doc said the spell won't wear off for another twenty minutes, she's going to be asleep until then," Tom replied.
"And you're following me because?" James said questioningly.
"Because I don't want B'Elanna waking up just to be screamed at by Jessie. I want to sort everything out before she does wake up," Tom replied.
"I don't think she's going to be angry with B'Elanna if I tell her what happened," James said.
James and Tom went through one of the doors. James went towards one of the bedroom doors. He stopped and turned around. "This is as far as you go."
"But why? There must be room for three, unless that 'bachelor' mess has turned into a 'marital' mess," Tom said.
"I just want to see if she's ok before you set your morales onto her," James said.
"Fine, but when's my cue?" Tom asked.
"Me calling your name, duh," James replied. He went into the bedroom, he found Jessie lying on the bed with her back to him.
"Before you ask, I'm fine," Jessie muttered.
James went around to the other side of the room, he knelt down nearby the bed. "Then why have you been crying?" he asked, as he stroked the side of her face.
"Maybe I'm just sick of other girls trying to steal you off me," Jessie replied. She sat up.
"Oh come on, you know that'll never happen," James said, he sat down beside Jessie.
Jessie smiled, "I know, I'm tired, so tired of it."
"I just don't know why you don't trust me, I've never cheated on you," James said.
"I said nothing about me not trusting you, cos I do. It's just you have no idea what the last argument with B'Elanna was about," Jessie said.
"Well humour me," James said.
"It's not very humorous, but still. I lost my temper with her blaming me and stuff, so I told her she was jealous," Jessie said.
"Of what exactly?" James asked.
"That she ended up with Tom. Where as I well, I grew up with you, and only had you," Jessie replied.
"So you think she did this cos she wanted to get you back?" James asked.
"Well, why not? Plus Tom made her have a quite miserable honeymoon," Jessie replied.
Tom walked into the room. "Not my cue, but I don't care. B'Elanna had a spell on her, it wasn't her fault."
Jessie stood up, she glanced over at James. "Was he in there all that time?"
"He seemed to think I wouldn't actually tell you about B'Elanna's innocence," James replied.
"You didn't though," Tom said.
"No, but I was going to," James said.
"So, no hard feelings, right Jess?" Tom said questioningly.
"Ok maybe, but why does B'Elanna get off scot free? I mean there must be some explanation to why a spell went on her. It was very convenient timing," Jessie said.
"I guess it is, but it was an accident," Tom said.
"Jess, he's right," James said.
"Don't you two understand that I feel really awful right now. I've only been married a week and someone's already trying to steal my husband!" Jessie cried.
"How do you think I feel? At least your husband was a victim, for a while it was like B'Elanna dumped me for a 'better' guy. Do you realise how insulting that is?" Tom said angrily.
"You two, we're getting nowhere here. It was no one's fault," James said.
"Wow all hail James our new peacemaker," Tom said.
"Look I don't want to talk about this anymore," Jessie said.
"Fine but just don't be mad at B'Elanna. I forgave her, and she hurt me the most. I'm sure you can do it," Tom said. He walked out.
"I'll try, no promises," Jessie said quietly.
The Mess Hall:
Faye picked up a tray from the replicator, she went over to one of the tables, where Sid was sitting. She sat down opposite him. "Hey, what's up?"
Sid shook his head, "security teams keep trying to stop me."
Faye rolled her eyes, "if you want to get hurt so badly, insult a few Slayers."
"Are you making fun of me?" Sid asked.
"No, why would I do that?" Faye replied.
"Because you've always made fun of me, I'm a freak to you," Sid said.
"Well I'm sort of a freak too, we are kind of best buds," Faye said.
"Oh yeah sure. What kind of friend makes fun of them?" Sid said.
"Hey I didn't mean anything," Faye said.
"No you never do, you're just naturally insulting. You don't care about anyone," Sid muttered. He stood up.
"That's not true, I do try to be nice to people. I don't get what you're being so nasty," Faye said.
"And I don't get why you don't seem to understand anybody but yourself. No wonder you don't have any other friends," Sid snapped. He stormed out of the room, passing Evil C on the way. He went over to Faye's table.
"Are you ok?" he asked.
"You don't think I'm heartless do you?" Faye muttered in response.
Evil C glanced back at the door Sid went through, he glanced back. "Did he say that?"
"No, but I think he meant that. I'm not used to talking to people, I used to have no friends. But I do try to be nice," Faye replied.
Evil C sat down beside her. "I understand what you mean. If he doesn't get that you have good intentions then he's not worth it."
"Yeah but he was right, I do think he's a freak. That's why I talked to him, cos I'm one too," Faye said.
"How are you a freak?" Evil C asked.
"I used to collect kids toys," Faye said behind her hand.
"Is that it?" Evil C muttered.
"No, I talk too much, and well everyone seems to think I'm weird cos I don't want to get a boyfriend," Faye said.
"Look freak is another word for different. There's nothing wrong with being different," Evil C said.
Faye shook her head, "then why have I been bullied for my whole life? Cos people don't like people who are different, or freaks."
Claire and Lee walked passed, he pointed at her and laughed. "Puppy in my pockets," he sniggered. Claire elbowed him hard in the ribs.
"Ignore him Faye, he's just very jealous of your collection," Claire said. She turned around, and sat down at the table next to Evil C.
"Hey. Why do people keep saying that?" Lee moaned. He walked off.
"Believe me, he is," Claire whispered. She moved her chair closer to Evil C. "How are you doing?" she asked.
"Um, fine," Evil C replied.
"Were you chatting him up there, that's Kevin's pick up line," Faye asked.
Claire laughed, "no.. I don't chat people up. What are you two talking about then?"
"She's just kinda fell out with a friend," Evil C replied.
"Oh, which friend?" Claire asked.
"Well I.." Faye said.
"Never mind that, what are you doing tonight?" Claire asked quickly.
"Nothing, but you didn't let Faye answer your question," Evil C replied.
"No it's ok, I'm going anyway," Faye said as she stood up. She walked away.
"But you haven't ate yet," Evil C said loudly, but Faye still didn't hear him.
"Do you wanna take a shuttle out tonight?" Claire asked.
"We actually have some of those left?" Evil C said.
"Well yeah, duh," Claire said.
"Sorry, I have to go," Evil C said. He stood up, he followed Faye out.
Claire shrugged, she quickly stood up and followed him. "Maybe we can go to the holodeck."
Tom strolled in, he went up to Doctor Jones. "When will you be able to wake her up?" he asked.
Doctor Jones briefly glanced at him, he picked up a hypospray. "You're just in time, Mr Paris." He went over to B'Elanna, and he pushed the hypospray into her neck. Tom walked over to stand beside B'Elanna.
B'Elanna woke up, she looked around looking confused. She quickly sat up. "What the hell am I doing here?"
"Let me tell her doc," Tom said.
"It's your life," Doctor Jones muttered, he walked away.
"You got infected with a spell," Tom said.
"A spell, what kind of spell and who did it?" B'Elanna asked.
"Lilly, she cast it on you instead. It was a little love spell," Tom replied nervously.
"A love spell!? Oh god, did I do anything?" B'Elanna stuttered.
"Life support on standby," Doctor Jones muttered from afar.
"Well you did come onto a guy. Luckily I came in before you did anything," Tom said.
"Oh my god, I'm sorry.." B'Elanna stuttered.
"It's not your fault," Tom said softly, he put his hand on her shoulder.
"You're not mad at me then?" B'Elanna asked.
"No, but I think the guy's wife is though," Tom replied.
"Typical, a married guy. Who was it?" B'Elanna asked.
"There's no point in knowing," Tom replied nervously.
"I think there is, I need to apologise to him and his wife," B'Elanna said.
"It's ok, I sorted all that out myself," Tom said.
B'Elanna glared at him, "who was it Tom?"
"Well I said he was married, not many of the married guys on this ship have their wife's with them," Tom replied.
B'Elanna thought for a while, she looked disgusted. "Ian?"
"No, keep guessing," Tom muttered in response.
"Can't be Chakotay, he's divorced," B'Elanna said. She gasped, she put her hand over her mouth. "Please god say it wasn't James."
"I would but that would be lying," Tom said nervously.
B'Elanna wasn't sure whether she should looked disgusted or shocked. "Oh my god, this'll make Jessie think she was right."
"She's not though, yeah I know what you two argued about," Tom said.
"So Jessie's mad, is James?" B'Elanna asked.
"Actually I think he's ok with it, he ran off apparently," Tom replied.
B'Elanna sighed in relief. "Oh. Well that's good, I guess."
"Good but insulting. I mean how can anyone resist you," Tom said, in his usual flirty tone.
B'Elanna smiled, "stop it."
"You started it," Tom said.
"Ugh," Doctor Jones groaned. He walked into his office.
"Look off topic, I'm really sorry about the honeymoon," Tom said.
"No it's okay. It was bad timing, and you were only trying to help me. It's him who misunderstood, and gobbed it to his wife, and her for being a spiteful cow," B'Elanna said.
"Hey, just got an idea. Why don't we go for a second honeymoon next month, or something," Tom said cheekily.
"Alone?" B'Elanna said questioningly, she slid off the biobed.
"Well I'd be there, but that's it," Tom joked.
B'Elanna smiled and shook her head. She put her arms around his neck. "Come here you big lug," she said. They both kissed.
Doctor Jones came back in, he rolled his eyes. "Why does everyone kiss in my Sickbay," he muttered. He went back into his office.
Faye was going down a busy corridor, she turned a corner and she walked right into Mick. "Oh sorry," she said.
"Nah it's ok, little rakey girls always forget that they're not invisible," Mick said. He continued on his way.
Faye turned around, "at least I don't take up the whole corridor."
Mick turned around, he smiled. "Oooh, someone's feisty."
"I've had a bad day," Faye said.
"Aaaw, you going to see your equally thin mummy?" Mick asked in a teasing voice.
"Why, do you do this to every girl who's passing?" Faye asked angrily. She turned around, and continued on her way.
"No, I just don't like little people," Mick replied.
"If it's people who are smaller than you, then you must like no one then," Faye muttered to herself.
Mick smiled, he continued on his way. Somebody violently pushed passed him but he just ignored it.
Faye entered a quiet corridor, she headed towards the turbolift at the end. She heard footsteps behind her, she glanced back but saw no one. She shrugged it off, and went into the turbolift.
Enterprise, the Bridge:
Everyone was in their usual spots, most doing absolutely nothing as usual.
"No offense Jess, but that was the worst week of my life. Nobody warned me Duncan was such a menace," Lena was saying.
"A menace, what was he doing?" Jessie asked.
Lena shrugged, "he really doesn't like his sister, that's all I can really say. Oh and he swapped Craig's hair gel with toothpaste."
Tom burst out laughing, "ooh minty hair."
"Wait, why was Craig there?" Jessie asked.
"Jess you're the mother and you can't handle both kids on your own. Did you really think I could babysit for a week on my own?" Lena replied.
"No I guess not," Jessie said.
B'Elanna stepped out of the turbolift, Jessie noticed so she turned away. B'Elanna went over to her. "Jessie, can we talk?"
Tom glanced back, he stood up quickly. "B'Elanna, I said I handled it."
"Obviously not, she's avoiding me," B'Elanna said.
Lena looked confused, "what's going on?"
"You don't want to know," Tom replied.
"Everyone says that," Lena said.
"Lena, can we use the Conference Room?" B'Elanna asked.
Lena nodded, "I suppose so."
"I don't want to talk to you," Jessie said.
"Then just listen, but I'd rather you do it in private," B'Elanna said. She headed for the Conference Room. Jessie groaned, she followed her.
"I don't like this. I'd better eavesdrop," Tom said.
"That's your answer to everything," Triah said.
"Ok, make it quick," Jessie said.
"Yeah like you were working," B'Elanna said.
"Is this your first apology?" Jessie asked, folding her arms.
"Right, an apology. Look love spell or not, I shouldn't have tried to come onto your husband. I'm sorry," B'Elanna replied.
"Ok," Jessie said.
"Ok? No offense but the decent thing to do is accept it," B'Elanna said.
"Whatever, I just want to know something," Jessie said.
"What's that?" B'Elanna asked.
"Well the love spell made you fall for James, only a few hours after I accused you of being jealous of me and him. Was there really a love spell?" Jessie asked.
B'Elanna stared blankly at her. "Of course there was. No offense but James isn't exactly what I call boyfriend material."
"Oh and Tom is?" Jessie said.
B'Elanna shook her head while rolling her eyes. "You think I wanted to steal your husband just because I had a lousy honeymoon with mine?"
"Yeah," Jessie replied.
B'Elanna laughed, "oh dear, Jessie you have an extreme case of paranoia."
"You would be if James was your husband," Jessie said.
"I would?" B'Elanna said.
"Yeah. Since college, no Comprehensive school, girls have tried to get her their hands on him. Look at Tani, Nikki.. oh god even his own half sister. You remember that natural Slayer who came aboard eight years ago?" Jessie said.
B'Elanna scoffed. "Sounds like you have trust issues. Maybe you got married too soon."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Jessie asked.
"He's the stereotypical bad boy with a white knight complex, of course he'll have admirers. Thankfully that's not my thing, I have more sense than that," B'Elanna replied. "And taste, and respect for myself. I'm also not 16 years old."
"So your idea of an apology is to insult me and my choice of men," Jessie hissed. "When yours is Tom Paris. The comic relief gossip who's as mature as a two year old on sugar."
"Jessie it was a love spell. Stop trying to make the situation worse than it is," B'Elanna said.
"It just seems very convenient that's all," Jessie said.
"Well that's all it is. An apology is all I'm giving you, and if you don't accept it, it's not my problem," B'Elanna said.
She headed towards the main door, it opened making Tom fall onto the floor. "Tom, what are you doing?"
Tom pulled himself to his feet, brushing his uniform as he did. "I lean on that door, all the time."
"Sure you do," B'Elanna muttered. She left the room.
Tom smiled at Jessie, "I'm mature."
"The good thing is, is that you believe that," Jessie said. She walked out.
Faye stepped through the door, she switched the lights on when she did. She gasped in shock, the entire room was a total mess. There was a PADD on the table, she went over to pick it up. She then went into the bedroom and stood there in shock.
James, Craig and Kevin had set up a small table, they were playing cards.
"I must say Craigy, your hair smells lovely," Kevin sniggered.
Craig glared at him, "it was his kids fault."
"You've got to admit, it's funny," James said.
"It's not funny!" Craig cried.
"Now that's not true," James said.
Kevin put a card down, "another two, read it and weep."
Craig grinned cheekily, he put down another card. "You son of a b**ch, both of you," James said angrily. He picked up four cards.
"Now that is funny," Craig said.
"So is this," Kevin said, he put down another card.
Craig gasped in shock, "noooooo!"
"Pick up five Craig," James said.
"No fair," Craig moaned. He picked up five cards.
In: "O'Tani to Security."
Craig tapped his commbadge, "go ahead."
In: "Someone's broken into my quarters, the room's wrecked, and some of my stuff is gone."
"Don't worry, we're on our way," Craig said, a little too cheerfully.
"Just because you're losing," Kevin said.
"No, she's a damsel in distress," Craig said quickly.
"More like he is," James said. Kevin nodded.
Jessie walked through the main door carrying a spell book. She sat down on the floor, opened the book and flicked through it. She stopped at a page and started to read aloud from it.
Craig walked up to Faye, while Kevin and James were looking around the room.
"Don't worry, the thief will have left fingerprints, DNA, the old deal. We'll find him or her," Craig said.
James came over, "didn't you say things were wrecked?"
"I did," Faye said.
James glanced back briefly, "furniture is only turned over. Nothing's damaged."
"Actually, my old collection is all destroyed," Faye said, she started crying.
"All of it?" Craig asked in disbelief.
Faye nodded, she pointed at her bedroom door.
"James, check it out," Craig ordered.
"Er, yes sir," James said sarcastically. He went towards the bedroom.
Kevin came over, "I found something." He and Craig went over to where the sofa was.
"I don't see anything," Craig said.
Kevin waved a tricorder in his face, "there's several bits of hair here. Probably the thief's."
James came back out of the bedroom. "You can't stay in these quarters Faye."
Faye turned to him, "what, why?"
"Yeah, why?" Craig asked.
"Two reasons Mr Rookie. Number 1, the thief may hurt her if he comes back. Number 2, he set fire to the entire box where her collection was. Let me just say cardboard isn't a good place to start a fire," James replied.
"You didn't mention a fire," Craig said.
"It didn't look that bad," Faye muttered.
"You'll have to move until it's repaired, and until we've found the thief," James said.
"I was going to say that," Craig said.
Kevin laughed, "Craig, are you only in charge of this team cos you're Lieutenant?"
"Oh, shut up. It wasn't my fault," Craig said.
"What wasn't?" Faye asked.
"I have no idea," Craig replied.
little while later:
Doctor Jones went over to the security team and Faye. "I'm still waiting for the results on the hair, but you really don't need it."
"You know who the thief is?" Faye asked.
"The fingerprints left on some of the furniture belongs to Sid," Doctor Jones replied.
Faye glanced at the rest of the team, "we only fell out. He'd never do this."
"I'm afraid he did," Doctor Jones said.
"No, he wouldn't of destroyed my collection and stole my stuff. He's overturned furniture before, it hurts his arms," Faye said.
"So you think he went in there just to hurt himself?" James asked.
"Yeah, he's done it before. I usually let him, as long as he cleans it up afterwards," Faye replied.
"I think we need to have a little talk with Sid," Craig said.
Sid was sitting on a chair, looking really nervous. Craig was sitting at his desk, while Kevin and James sat on different sides of the desk.
"According to several fingerprints samples, you were the one who was in Faye's quarters before," Craig said.
"I was," Sid said.
"Um, Craig... who's going to be the bad cop?" Kevin asked. He and Craig glanced over at James.
"Typical, you look at me!" James yelled.
Craig shook his head, "boys please."
"Boys? We're older than you," James said.
"Look what's this about?" Sid asked nervously.
"You broke into Faye's quarters just to overturn furniture," Craig replied.
"And destroyed her collection, not to mention stealing some of her stuff," Kevin said.
"I would never do that! Faye's my best friend, and I know that collection is very special to her," Sid said angrily.
"According to her you had a fight," James said.
"Yeah, friends have fights. It's not uncommon. But I didn't destroy or steal anything," Sid said.
B'Elanna stepped off the lift, she went over to a console. She received a few odd glances off some guys as she did. She shrugged it off and continued working.
Faye was now working at a station, except she wasn't working. Scot and Johnstone entered the room, they went over to her.
"Hey Faye," Scot said.
"Um, hey," Faye said.
"We're on our way to one of your holodecks, wanna come with?" Johnstone asked.
"No, I'm on duty," Faye replied.
"Yeah of course you are. Just skive," Scot said.
"Um, I've got to go over there," Faye said nervously. She tried to push passed Scot and Johnstone, but she couldn't.
"Oh come on Faye, live a little," Scot said.
In: "Lena to O'Tani, can you come to my Ready Room?"
"Sure," Faye replied. She turned around and rushed out of the room.
"That was your fault," Johnstone said.
"Sure it was," Scot groaned.
Faye sat down on the chair opposite the table, Lena was standing near the replicator. "Do you want a drink?" Lena asked.
"Sure, please," Faye stuttered.
Lena replicated two Cherry Coke bottles, she went back to sit behind her desk. "Doctor Jones is still waiting for the results of the test, but we know for sure that Sid wasn't fully responsible for the incident."
"I knew it," Faye said as Lena handed her one of the bottles.
"Supposedly he went into your quarters a few minutes before someone else went inside. Unfortunately the computer has no idea who it was," Lena said.
"No suspects then," Faye muttered.
"Not exactly. Both me and mum have received reports. B'Elanna reported that every guy she sees, talks behind her back and looks at her in disgust. Sid hasn't actually wanted to hurt himself ever since the security team got him. Lilly's ex and her brother are skiving off on the Enterprise..." Lena said.
"I saw them, they were asking me out," Faye said.
"Also Mick's not being as nice as he usually is, Harry keeps skiving off duty, Claire is constantly stalking Evil C, there was a weird incident involving my brother and B'Elanna, no one's telling what happened though," Lena said.
"So something odd's going on, it's not normal?" Faye asked.
"Nah, Lilly was responsible for the B'Elanna and James incident. All this stuff is going on after she and Scot broke up. I have the feeling a spell's at work," Lena replied.
"So we should speak to her," Faye said.
In: "Bridge to Lena. A shuttle's leaving the ship."
Lena got off her chair, she left the room. Faye quickly followed her.
"Who's on it?" Lena asked.
"Claire and Evil C," Tom replied.
"You know the routine," Lena said.
Triah nodded, "tried that already. Whoever's operating opps is good."
"Just follow and contact them," Lena ordered.
"No response," Triah said.
"Why would they want to leave the ship?" Bryan asked.
"We'll find out if we catch it, Bryan," Lena replied.
Bryan nodded, "right but we can't."
"Why not?" Lena asked.
"Because it's stuck on autopilot," Bryan muttered. Tom rushed over to the station.
"It's too late, they're gone. I don't know where they went," Triah said.
"Well we saw which direction they went," Faye said.
"We'd have no idea where to go afterwards though," Lena said.
"Maybe the spell has something to do with this," Faye said.
"Probably. I'll speak to her. If I were you I'd hang out in the Mess Hall, in other words where there's a lot of people," Lena said.
"But why?" Faye asked.
"Cos I have a feeling you should do that," Lena replied.
"Um all right," Faye said. She walked into the turbolift.
Jessie was still sitting on the floor with the book. She finished reading from a different page, then looked back up. Her eyes were black, they quickly turned back to normal.
B'Elanna was going down a corridor, instead of receiving dirty looks she was receiving none. She turned a corner, and walked straight through Mick who acted like he never saw her.
"What the hell is going on?" she asked herself.
Faye went passed her, but also didn't notice her. Mick turned around and he went up to Faye. "Oh it's the little twig girl."
"Leave me alone," Faye said.
"Why should I?" Mick asked.
"Because I haven't done anything to you," Faye replied.
"Yes you have, you're really too little," Mick said.
"That's not my fault," Faye said.
"But it is, put some weight on," Mick said.
"And look like you, no thanks," Faye said. She tried to get passed, but he pushed her into the wall.
"See you around," Mick said. He continued on his way.
Faye ran off down the corridor. She ran into her quarters.
"Hi Faye," a familiar voice said.
Faye looked around the room, "uh.. computer lights." The lights didn't come on.
"Oh I kind of broke those," the voice said.
"Who's there?" Faye asked nervously.
A figure stepped out of the shadows. "Me," Harry replied.
"Harry? What are you doing?" Faye asked.
Harry stepped closer to her, "I'm here cos I love you."
"Um, that's nice," Faye stuttered. She backed into the wall.
Harry blocked her way, he put his hand on the wall. "What did you think of my present."
"Present?" Faye said nervously.
"Oh Faye I'm hurt," Harry said sarcastically.
Lilly, Jodie and Emma had now joined everyone else on the bridge. "I don't understand how that's possible," Lilly said.
"You cast a spell on B'Elanna," Tom said.
Lilly shook her head. "Yeah I did. I cast the same spell on Faye, hoping she'd understand why people get crushes and stuff. I felt sorry for her."
"Well for some reason two guys have asked her out, and one guy decided to destroy her collection and steal her stuff," Lena said.
"Ohno, if the spell went wrong then it'll make other guys fall for her instead," Lilly said.
"Are you responsible for Claire having a spell on her, or B'Elanna?" Lena asked.
"No, Claire was only passing when I cast the spell on Faye. I haven't done anything new to B'Elanna," Lilly replied.
"Where is Faye anyway?" Emma asked.
Lena shrugged, she tapped her commbadge. "Computer locate Faye O'Tani."
"Faye O'Tani is in her quarters," the computer said.
"What is she doing there, I told her to go to a busy place," Lena said.
"Work it out later," Emma said. She went into the turbolift, Lilly followed her.
Emma was busy banging her fist on the door, Lilly put her hand on her arm to stop her. "One of us will have to hack in," she said.
"Don't look at me," Jodie said.
"It's ok, I'll try," Lilly said. She started chanting something.
"Oh great, more spell crap," Emma groaned. She stepped back, and ran into the door.
"Oh that helped," Jodie said sarcastically.
"It did," Emma said. She kicked the door instead, the door broke and left an opening.
"How did you do that?" Lilly asked.
"Experience," Emma replied.
The girls rushed into the room. They saw Harry and Faye in the same position as before. Harry turned around. "We have company." Faye pushed him away, she ran over to them.
"Harry, what are you doing?" Emma asked angrily.
"He was the one who destroyed my collection," Faye said quietly.
"I only did it to help her grow up a little," Harry said.
Jodie turned to Lilly, "does he have a spell on him?"
"I think so, you guys distract. I'll get it off," Lilly replied. She started doing more chanting.
Harry stepped closer to the girls, "I did it because I love her so much."
"That's the spell talking," Jodie said.
"Well I never," Emma muttered. She stepped in front of Emma and Jodie, she hit Harry hard in the face. The force made him stumble onto the ground. Emma jumped on him, she started to beat him up.
"Yeah, you go girl," Jodie said with a grin on her face.
Lilly finished her chants, when she did Harry stopped trying to fight Emma off. "What the.. Emma what are you doing?" he asked before she smacked him again.
Jodie went over to Emma, she tried to pull her off but it was not easy. "Emma, it's ok.. he's not evil Harry anymore."
"Evil Harry?" Harry said, sounding confused and a little hurt. Jodie eventually managed to pull Emma off of Harry.
Lilly went over to Faye, she put her hand on her shoulder. "Faye I'm sorry, I just wanted you to understand."
"I understand all right, I stand by my earlier comments," Faye said. She stormed out.
"Does she know I didn't mean for it to happen like that?" Lilly asked nervously.
"I don't think so," Jodie replied. Lilly quickly ran out.
"What the hell is going on?" Harry asked while nursing a black eye. Emma shook her head, she walked out.
Captains Log Stardate whatever: With the spell stuff over with we're going on our way. But it does seem like we've forgotten a few things.
James and Craig walked through the door, they stood by Kathryn's desk.
"I have good news you two," Kathryn said, she stood up. "First of all, James I have a present for you," she said as she handed James a black box.
"Ooh, do I get a present too?" Craig asked.
"What is it?" James asked as he opened the box.
"From now on you two, you're both in charge of Security. Craig, you're in charge of all of Voyager's, and James you're in charge of the Enterprise's," Kathryn said.
"You're promoting me?" James asked in disbelief.
"Great, that means I can't boss you around anymore," Craig muttered.
Kathryn shook her head. "That's exactly why this is good news, Craig. You can organise your own teams on Voyager, I know it's probably harder to boss James around more than it is to boss someone else around."
"True, I got a black eye once," Craig said.
Kathryn glanced at James. "He was talking about Lena like I wasn't related to her," he said.
"What, I think she's hot," Craig said.
"I don't want to know, Craig," Kathryn said.
"Neither do I," James said.
"Well good luck you two, dismissed," Kathryn said.
"Wait a second, he's in charge of the security teams on the bigger ship," Craig said.
"I only did that because James lives on the Enterprise," Kathryn said.
"So do I," Craig moaned.
"Yes but it'll be harder for him to move, he has a family," Kathryn said.
"I could have a family," Craig muttered.
"As long as it doesn't involve my daughter, I don't mind," Kathryn said.
"Yeah, I had a nasty image there," James said. He shuddered, and walked out.
"What?" Craig moaned. He followed him out.
Lilly was sitting on her chair, while everyone else was in their usual spots. Lilly suddenly sat up in shock. "Oh god, I forgot about Claire and Evil C!"
"I think everyone did," James 2 said.
"No, when I put the spell on Faye it went onto Claire too. It will wear off so.. oh I hope she actually does like Evil C," Lilly said.
"So do I now," Carly said.
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