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Episode Synopsis
Tuvok, Naomi, Kiara and Bryan are forced to land on a planet, which is inhabited by aliens who are still prejudice to women. Also Voyager has it's own problems when Vulpix accidentally lets nearly every shipper onto the ship.

Guest Stars
Raichu as herself
Vulpix as herself
Marill as herself
Some people who don't know anything about medicine as the doctors and nurses
The Shippers as themselves

Written By
Raichu & Vulpix

Written
14th & 16th February 2002

Episode Based In
January 2378

 

Outside the Mess Hall:
Tom finished fixing a small holocamera onto his head, and he placed his off duty hat over it. Obviously having it back to front so the camera could see through the usual gap.

He finished what he was doing and he made his way into the Mess Hall.

He looked around the tables, hoping to see something good he could record.

On one table Mick was sitting on his own, writing on a PADD. Other tables had unknown crewmembers at them. Tom sighed, nothing interesting was going on.

Tom was about to walk back out of the room, when he saw the doors opening again.

Meanwhile, the Bridge:
It was the night shift, as usual there was people asleep on consoles, people playing computer games, and some people were listening to personal CD players.

"Come on you stupid piece of crap! Don't go down there!" Danny yelled as she played on Tetris, at the helm.

"I'm in the middle of a chain reaction, something something," Triah sang from the Science station.

"Well this scene looks familiar," a guest star muttered.

"Good point," Vulpix's voice said.

Suddenly a white flash engulfed the room. Once it was gone, people were working at their stations, and the ones in charge weren't asleep in the chairs.

"Now, that's unexpected," the same guest star muttered. A console exploded next to him, and he died instantly.

"That wasn't," Lena said.

Writer's Break 1, Marill's bedroom (very small one at that):
Vulpix sat back in the computer chair, while Raichu just yelled at the cat outside.

"No, it's crowded in here as it is. You can't come in!" Raichu yelled. The black cat just stared at her. Raichu stepped back into the room carefully, but she still managed to trip over something on the floor. She regained her balance quickly and she stood behind Vulpix.

"Can we have a Cherry Coke break now?" Vulpix asked as she looked up at Raichu.

"You've only done two small scenes," Raichu muttered.

"And?" Vulpix said questioningly.

"Have you read any recent episodes of Fifth Voyager?" Raichu asked.

"Of course," Vulpix replied.

"Then you'd know that there is a lot more to write than this, if you work at this rate we'll be finished when the finale is due out," Raichu said.

"Jeez, cool down. I just want Cherry Coke," Vulpix moaned, and she tried to put on her puppy dog eye look.

"That won't work with me. Besides Marill drunk all the Cherry Coke," Raichu replied. Both girls looked towards the bed, Marill was lying on it while watching Mewtwo Returns.

"Hey cool, Team Rocket," Vulpix said, and she jumped onto the other side of the bed. Raichu sighed, and she looked back at the computer. She sat on the computer chair, and she just watched the screensaver when it came on.

Raichu looked at the TV, it was up to the bit where Meowth was trying to convince Mewtwo not to wipe people's memories.

"Well, at least it's nearly finished," Raichu muttered. Meanwhile Vulpix was busy looking through the videos on the shelf.

"Hey cool, Mummy Returns. Sequel heaven, huh?" Vulpix said happily. Marill perked up at long last.

"Did you say something about heaven?" she asked.

"Er, no," Vulpix muttered.

"Oh, maybe later. What's happened?" Marill asked.

"Er, it's nearly finished," Vulpix replied.

"But it only just started a few minutes ago," Marill moaned, and she started sulking again.

Raichu sat impatiently, while watching Vulpix. "Do you mind, we're trying to write an episode," she said angrily.

"Oh, right," Vulpix muttered, and she pulled herself over to the edge of the bed. Vulpix looked over at Marill, she didn't seem to notice that her head was in the way of the TV. "Er, Marill, do you want me to move so you can see?" she asked.

"Huh?" was all Vulpix got as a response.

"Never mind," Vulpix said, leaving Marill to watch her head instead of the TV.

"Lets get on with this, shall we?" Raichu said questioningly.

Some unknown deck:
Lena and James were walking down the corridor, like you do, but instead of talking about nothing in particular, they were actually talking about something in particular.

"What time, then?" James was asking.

"I dunno ten," Lena replied. They both stopped outside one of the doors.

"See ya then," James said, and he walked into the room. Lena continued down the corridor.

James looked around the room, it was dark and nobody was around. He headed towards one of the bedrooms, and went inside. Jessie was half lying on the bed playing on his Game Boy.

"Since when did you like playing on my Game Boy?" James asked. Jessie jumped slightly at the sound of his voice. She quickly switched off the Game Boy.

"I, er, just wanted to see what was so good about it, that's all," Jessie said and she put the Game Boy on the table near by.

"And how long were you doing that?" James asked as he sat down next to Jessie.

"A few minutes," Jessie replied.

"You lie, you were enjoying yourself," James said.

"Ok, it was a good game, I was on for half an hour, that's all," Jessie said, she folded her arms and she sulked.

"Nothing to sulk about, it's only a Game Boy," James said. Jessie just shrugged her shoulders. "So is Duncan with Danny and Ian?"

"Yeah, probably explains why I was so bored," Jessie replied.

"Do you want to go to the Holodeck then, I've got two hours before Lena and I are going to training," James said.

"Training, what training?" Jessie asked.

"Lena offered to do some Games Slayer training. So do you want to go somewhere?" James replied.

"No, I can't be bothered to go anywhere," Jessie said.

"But there's nothing to do in here, we both can't play on the Game Boy," James said.

"Actually, there is something we can do," Jessie said and she looked towards the replicator.

"What, eat?" James asked.

"Half right, why don't we have a picnic in here," Jessie replied.

"If you really want to," James said.

The Mess Hall:
Lena walked into the room via the right door. She looked behind her as a group of people followed her in. She shrugged her shoulders and she sat down in front of Craig. She didn't notice that the people who followed her in were still watching her.

"Lena, who are they?" Craig asked as he pointed behind her. Lena turned her head to look the group's way. They didn't make an effort to look innocent, they just continued to watch them.

"I have no idea, but they're getting on my nerves," Lena replied and she stood up, so did Craig. They both walked over to the group of stalkers. "Ok, why are you watching us?"

"I consider all scenes with you two in shippy," one person said.

"You two are such a perfect couple," a woman cooed.

Lena and Craig looked at each, confused, then suddenly it hit them.

"Aaah, they're shippers!" Lena stuttered.

"Yep, we're Aquarius shippers, the best ship in the world!" one person yelled. A lot of the people in the room laughed at Lena and Craig.

A group of people walked over to Aquarius shippers, Lena and Craig.

"No, you're wrong. J-Steps is the best ship here," one member of the group said.

"Nah, they're slow and annoying. They took ages to get together," one Aquarius shipper said.

"So, think of all the chemistry," a J-Stepper said.

"Aaaw," all the J-Steppers sighed.

"If you're J-Steppers, why are you here. James and Jessie aren't here," Lena said.

"We can't find them, where can we find them? We might be missing something," a J-Stepper said.

"There's never anything new, it's always the same thing," an Aquarius shipper said.

"Shut up, J-Steps is better than Aquarius!" a J-Stepper yelled. A lot of people came into the room and came over.

"J/C is the best," one person said.

"What? Clearly C/7 is better," one person said. All the J/Cers, K/7ers and D/7ers glared angrily at the C/7er. "Uhoh, I shouldn't of said anything." The C/7er got chased by all the shippers mentioned.

"P/T is a lot better than this Aquarius and J-Steps, the arguments make it interesting," a P/Ter said.

"I'm getting disturbed, lets go," Lena said. All the Aquarius' looked at her funny.

"Where?" they all said.

"Nothing shippy, lets go Craig," Lena said and she stormed out. Craig quickly followed her. They both ran into another group of people.

"You're not going anywhere with him Lena. You are suppose to be with James," one person said. Craig put on his jealous face.

"Ugh, Slayer shippers, we have to escape from these freaks," Lena said.

"Freaks? That's a bit weak for them, more like loonies!" Craig grumbled, and he pushed passed them. Lena shook her head and she followed.

"Noo, Aquarius and J-Steps are the ships from hell, don't!" all the Slayer shippers yelled. Vulpix appeared in front of them

"What the hell are you doing here, you fools. Slayer shippers are not allowed," she said.

"You Slayer shipper betrayer, you used to believe," a Slayer shipper said.

"I didn't believe, I just hoped that Lena and James would be like J/C, you know with the just friends thing. Then The Resurrection came along... uhoh. Excuse me, I need to throw up," Vulpix said. She then turned around, and threw up.

Raichu decided to appear. "Ok, can you explain to me how all these shippers got aboard Voyager?" she asked Vulpix after she finished throwing up.

"I er, couldn't think of a sub plot so I pressed the 'Automatically Make Up Sub Plot' button," Vulpix replied. Raichu narrowed her eyes and she pulled a mallet out of nowhere.

"So these people will go away at the end of the episode," Raichu muttered to herself. Vulpix stood back up while rubbing her head.

"You didn't have to mallet me," she said angrily. BAM!

"You don't have to keep interrupting my train of thought," Raichu said calmly. She didn't get a response, this time Vulpix was unconscious.

Vulpix's Wobbuffet appeared out of nowhere, and it put it's hands on it's, erm, invisible hips. "Wobbbbufffeeeet!" it yelled.

Raichu looked down at it calmly. "How do you keep getting out of your Pokéball?"

"Wobba, wobbuffeet!" the blue blob thing replied.

"You are not Janeway," Raichu said calmly.

Wobbuffet nodded it's head. "Wobba, wob, wobbuffet," it said, with it's hands still on it's side. Vulpix stood back up and she glared at it.

"What have I told you about your impressions, get back in your ball," Vulpix muttered. She got a Pokéball out, and she returned the insane blob. The J-Stepper group came up to the writers.

"Where's all the J-Steps action you promised, Vulpix?" one of the asked.

"J-Steps action?" Raichu said questioningly and she glared at Vulpix.

"You can't watch, you're on Voyager now. You're not sitting at some computer," Vulpix said.

"We're suppose to be, so lets get going," Raichu said, she grabbed a strand of Vulpix's long hair and they both disappeared.

"Damn, where's all the action?" one J-Stepper asked.

"I dunno, lets just kill the Slayer shippers," another J-Stepper replied. The Slayer shippers overheard.

"Aw crap!" they all muttered, and they ran out with the J-Steppers in hot pursuit.

Back in Jessie/James' Quarters:
The pair had gotten the picnic all set up. They were a little hyper off the Cherry Coke they had, and they were having a fruit fight. They finally got tired of throwing small fruit at each other, and they started eating all the ones that had landed on the bed.

Jessie picked up a Strawberry from the bed. She waved it in front of her. James saw, and he reached over to try and get it, but she'd already ate it.

"That was the last one," James moaned.

"No it wasn't," Jessie said as she found another one beside her. She started waving that one around. "If you want it, you're going to have to come and get it." James tried to catch her arm, but she was too fast for him, and she kept swapping the Strawberry to her other hand.

"You're going to have to do better than that," Jessie giggled. She spoke to soon, James tried something else, he pushed her instead. She fell onto her back, but she just laughed. She threw the Strawberry as far as she could. "Go get it."

James looked at her with a shocked expression on his face. "I can't believe you did that," he managed to say.

"I saw where it went, I'd tell you, but you have to pay me with something," Jessie said, she couldn't stop laughing. James collapsed next to where Jessie had landed earlier.

"I haven't got anything," he said finally after a few minutes. Jessie sat up a little bit, and she leaned over him.

"Forget about it, it landed on the floor," she said and she giggled. She gently placed her right hand on the side of his face, and she started kissing him.

One and a bit hours later, Lena's Quarters:
Lena was sitting impatiently on the sofa, while Craig just sat on the chair looking bored.

"Can you remind me, what the hell are we waiting for again?" Craig asked.

"James and I were suppose to go to the Holodeck to train," Lena replied.

"And you didn't invite me?" Craig asked huffily.

Lena rolled her eyes. "You can come anyway, it doesn't look like he's meeting me here after all," she replied as she stood up.

"Maybe he forgot," Craig said.

"How could he forget, we've been planning this for ages," Lena said angrily and she walked out of the door. Craig followed her.

"Busy?" Craig said questioningly.

"I doubt he would be," Lena said. Craig ran to catch up with her, and he slowed down to her pace when he did.

"Ok then, maybe he's already at the Holodeck," Craig said.

"That's what I thought. He'd better be, or I'll kill him," Lena said.

"Can I watch if you do?" Craig asked. Lena laughed slightly.

"If you want," she replied.

The next day:
Tuvok walked into the classroom, he looked around to see who had attended. Only Kiara, Naomi and Bryan were there.

"Where is Lena?" Tuvok asked.

"She said she's going to perform a murder," Kiara replied.

"Ok then. Having just the three of you will make it easier for me," Tuvok said.

"I wasn't joking, I think she's actually going to kill someone," Kiara said.

"She always says that," Tuvok said.

"She's going to kill James," Kiara said cheerfully.

"That's nice, Miss Janeway, we had better be going to the Shuttle Bay," Tuvok said.

"What for?" Naomi asked.

"We're going to have a piloting lesson today," Tuvok replied. The three teenagers looked at each other and they grinned like idiots.

The Mess Hall:
Lena looked around for her target as soon as she stepped through the doors. Once she had spotted him she stormed over to the table.

James stopped eating what he was eating as soon as a shadow loomed over him. He slowly looked up nervously to see Lena staring at him with a killer look in her eyes.

"Do you mind telling me why you didn't turn up last night?" Lena asked.

"Would you believe me if I said I forgot," James replied quietly.

"Nope," Lena said.

"Well I forgot," James said.

"Don't give me that bulls**t, what's the real reason?" Lena asked.

"Why won't you believe me, I forgot," James replied.

"How could you forget, we've been discussing this all week. You can't just forget," Lena said angrily.

"I lost track of time," James said.

"How?" Lena asked and she folded her arms.

"I don't want to talk about it," James muttered in response.

Lena rolled her eyes and she sat opposite him. "Did you have an argument with Jessie?" she asked.

"No, I just lost track of time," James replied.

"So, what is it you don't want to talk about? Something must of happened," Lena asked.

"If you must know, Jessie and me had a picnic in our quarters," James muttered.

Lena tried not to laugh. "A picnic? Tell me, how could you lose track of time when you're doing that?"

"You know what me and Jessie are like after two bottles of Cherry Coke," James replied.

"Oh god, maybe it was a good thing you didn't come to training. I wasn't hyper enough to level two bottles," Lena said.

"I only noticed the time once it was midnight, so there was no point in turning up," James said.

"Well I didn't get an apology over the comm for not turning up," Lena muttered.

"I never thought of that at that particular time, I wasn't in the mood," James said.

"What mood were you in, and it can't be a hyper mood," Lena said.

"Far past the hyper stage, Lena," James muttered.

"So, why did you have a picnic?" Lena asked.

"It was her idea, not mine," James said.

"Erm, that wasn't the answer I wanted but never mind," Lena muttered. She watched him continue eating his chips, and she thought for a few seconds. "So what's with the long face?"

James looked up at her. "What long face?"

"When I came in I saw you sulking over something, you looked almost.. guilty," Lena replied.

"I wasn't sulking," James said.

"You were, was it because of what you did to me?" Lena asked.

"If I said yes would you believe me?" James said questioningly.

"Not after you asked that," Lena replied.

"Damn, I really should stop doing that," James muttered to himself.

"Well, spill it," Lena said.

"It's embarrassing, I don't want to say," James said.

"Oh I get it, you two had a hyper fight," Lena said.

"Er, no we didn't," James muttered.

"Yeah you did, you just thought it. Something to do with fruit," Lena said.

"I wish you'd stop reading my mind," James said.

"I wouldn't have to if you didn't keep things from me," Lena said.

"Right, now you know. Lets change the subject," James said.

Lena eyed him suspiciously. "No, something else happened," she said.

"No, nothing else happened. We finished the picnic, went to bed late, slept in, now I'm trying to have breakfast," James said.

"That's your breakfast?" Lena said questioningly while eyeing the plate of chips.

"I got up at twelve, so it's half my dinner," James said.

"Ok, whatever. I still don't believe you. Something happened and you don't want to say. In order to make it up to me about yesterday you're going to have to tell me," Lena said.

"Why are you being so mean?" James asked.

"It's not being mean, it's getting my own back. Now tell," Lena replied.

James sighed, and he looked around to see who was nearby, then he looked back at Lena. "Do I have to?" he asked eventually. The look on Lena's face was his only answer.

She waited patiently for him to answer. After 5 minutes she had enough. "Just tell me, it can't be that bad," Lena said angrily.

"Lena don't, I feel bad enough about it already," James muttered.

"What is there to feel bad about?" Lena asked.

"Everything," James replied.

"Just tell me, if you can't tell your friends, who can you tell?" Lena asked.

James shook his head. "No, I'm not telling you."

"Don't be such a baby, James. I won't judge you, I won't laugh at you, I'm your friend for god's sake! I don't see why you won't tell me, it can't be that bad. I mean..."

"I slept with her," James muttered. Lena just looked at him in a confused way.

"What.. did you say?" she asked slowly.

"I slept with Jessie, are you happy now?" James replied.

"No, I'm pretty p****d off now. You wouldn't tell me this," Lena said.

"No offense Lena, but it's none of your business," James said.

"I understand that, why didn't you say that in the first place. I wouldn't of asked," Lena said.

"We couldn't help it, we were really hyper, it was a spur of the moment," James muttered.

"I don't want to know," Lena said.

"You shouldn't of asked then," James said.

"What I'd like to know is why were you looking like it was the end of the world?" Lena asked.

"Mainly because I care about what happened, and she's acting strangely about it," James replied.

"Define strangely," Lena said.

"She was already awake when I woke up. She was bloody happy, so it looked. I'm sure she's just faking it to make me feel better, but it's made me feel worse," James said.

Lena tried not to laugh. "You're just paranoid, I think she understands that because you're a couple it isn't such a big deal, unlike the ceremony incident and the love spell."

"No she's mad at me, she's just pretending that she's not," James said.

"Why do you get that impression?" Lena asked.

"I just started to apologise when she said something like, don't waste your breath, and then she left the room to pick up Duncan. Secondly, she'd be here if she wasn't mad at me," James said.

"Maybe she was late," Lena said.

"Don't you mean maybe she is?" James asked.

"Nope, not at all," Lena replied and she pointed behind him. James looked around and he saw Jessie coming over to the table. Lena stood up. "I'll leave you two lovebirds alone." She giggled and she walked away.

Jessie sat down where Lena was previously sitting, and she just stared at James.

"Er, I hate to ask, but what are you looking at?" James asked.

Jessie shrugged. "You, who else?"

"Yeah, but why. Are you mad at me?" James asked.

Jessie started laughing. "Mad at you? Why would I be mad at you?"

"You know why," James replied.

"I suppose I do, but for some reason I'm not," Jessie said. She briefly looked at the plate of chips James had in front of him, and then she looked back up at him. "I left Duncan with Danny. I thought if I went to her she'd interrogate me until I told her what happened. So I contacted her, she's going to take him to class for us."

"Erm, ok," James muttered.

"Aren't you going to eat those?" Jessie asked as she eyed his plate again.

"Yeah, I did replicate them," James replied.

"Before you do, I have something to tell you," Jessie said.

"What?" James said questioningly.

Jessie tried to stop a grin from coming onto her face. "I'm pregnant," she whispered. James stared at her in shock, then he accidentally slipped off his chair. Jessie burst out laughing, and she tried to eat as many chips as she could off his plate. She tried to look innocent once he got back onto the chair.

"Please tell me I heard wrong," James said.

"No you didn't, just look at your plate," Jessie managed to say in between laughs. James did so, and he looked back up at Jessie. She couldn't stop laughing.

"Jessie, you're cruel. Don't ever do that again," James moaned.

"I'm hungry, I couldn't resist," Jessie said.

"There's a replicator just a metre away, it wouldn't kill you to go to it," James said, and he pouted.

"Aaaw, I won't do it again, I swear," Jessie said. She burst out laughing again.

"What?" James asked.

"I can't believe you fell for it. Doctor Jones said it would be nearly impossible for me to have another kid because of the accident in Interactions," Jessie replied.

"It's not funny," James muttered, without realising it he was still pouting.

"You're cute when you pout, I really should do this sort of thing more often," Jessie said.

"Just go and get something to eat," James muttered.

Jessie stood up, and she walked over to him. She put her right hand on his head, and she messed up his hair. "Ok, but I'll be back," she said. Once she walked away, James quickly tried to fix his hair before anyone noticed, but he then noticed everyone was watching him already.

Jessie came back over to the table a minute later, with a tray of food on it. She dumped it on the table, and she sat opposite James again. He looked at what she had, on one plate she had Cheese Macaroni, and on the other she had a pile of chips.

"Hungry?" James said questioningly.

"Starved, do you want some?" Jessie asked.

"No, thanks," James replied slowly.

Jessie tried the chips, and she looked back at the replicator. "I could do with some chocolate sauce," she muttered.

"What for?" James asked nervously.

"I don't fancy gravy, salt or vinegar, the chips need some savoury," Jessie replied and she stood up.

"I think I should get going," James said quickly and he stood up.

"Ok, see you later," Jessie said and she headed over to the replicator. James headed towards the nearest door as quickly as he could.

The Delta Flyer:
Bryan was at the helm, Tuvok was standing over him. Naomi and Kiara were fearing for their lives near the back of the shuttle.

"Are we going to die?" Kiara asked.

"Bryan's at the helm of a shuttle, of course we're going to die," Naomi replied.

One of the consoles started beeping, Tuvok turned to the two girls.

"Would one of you check what that is," he said.

Naomi went over the console and she had a look at it. "A ship is approaching from that, er planet? Where did that planet come from?"

"They always appear when a shuttle is in use," Kiara replied.

"They're hailing us," Naomi said.

"Put them onto this screen," Tuvok ordered. The little screen on the helm came on, showing a really goofy looking alien guy.

"Our sensors detected females on your vessel. We demand that you turn them over," the guy said.

"Why?" Bryan asked.

"We don't have enough females on our ship to clean up and cook for us," the guy replied.

"Do it yourself!" Kiara said angrily.

"What a disrespectful young lady, she needs discipline," the guy said.

"I am sorry, but our females aren't for sale. They're members of our crew," Tuvok said.

"What a strange man you are, besides I wasn't going to pay you for your females. We're just going to take them," the guy said. The screen switched off.

"What a big jerk," Naomi muttered.

"Mr Paris, take us back to Voyager," Tuvok ordered.

The shuttle shook. "Um, no can do. They've locked a tractor beam on us," Bryan said.

"Crap, why does that always happen?" Kiara asked.

"I have an idea, Mr Paris, get ready to take us to full impulse," Tuvok said. Bryan nodded nervously. "Miss Wildman, get ready to fire a phaser beam directly at their tractor emitters. Miss Janeway, take that station, and get ready to put a tractor beam on that ship."

"Can't you tell us the plan?" Kiara asked.

"Just do as I say," Tuvok replied. He looked towards Naomi. "Fire," he ordered.

The Flyer fired a phaser blast at the other ship, the tractor beam was cut off. "Miss Janeway, tractor beam," Tuvok ordered.

Kiara rolled her eyes, "I prefer Kiara," she said to herself.

The Flyer put a tractor beam on the other ship.

"Mr Paris, fly us in the opposite direction of Voyager, once in mid flight, I want the tractor beam released," Tuvok ordered.

"When we're moving, are you crazy?" Kiara said questioningly.

"Once the ship is released go back to Voyager," Tuvok ordered.

The teenagers reluctantly agreed.

The Flyer flew into the planet's atmosphere, and the ship was let go. For some reason the Flyer kept flying towards the planet.

"Mr Paris, take us back to Voyager," Tuvok commanded.

"I can't, there's some sort of weird error on the helm," Bryan said. Tuvok went over to the comm. On the computer it said 'Warning, the plot is being initiated at long last, going back to Voyager wouldn't work out too well, so get bent. Have a nice day.'

"I told you we were going to die," Naomi said. Kiara nodded. The Flyer flew out of control towards the ground, and it flew over some nice flat fields. The shuttle didn't come for a land until it reached a less welcoming place. The Flyer crashed into a large hill.

Later:
Everyone had regained consciousness.

"Why the hell did we have to crash here. It was like the Flyer didn't want to land in the fields," Bryan moaned as he stood up.

"All shuttles are programmed to crash instead of land," Naomi said.

"That is not true, Miss Wildman," Tuvok said.

"So why do shuttles always crash?" Kiara asked.

"Sometimes to develop the plot," Tuvok replied.

"So, any guesses for how long we're going to be trapped here?" Bryan asked.

"I'd say two days," Kiara said.

"Make that one, if we can gather the parts we need, we'll be able to repair the shuttle within a few hours," Tuvok said.

"So what's the plot then?" Kiara asked. Naomi screamed and collapsed. "Remind me to never ask that again," Kiara muttered. Tuvok and Bryan rushed over to Naomi. Strange whip marks were appearing on her arms and face like if somebody was actually whipping her at the very moment.

"We'd better get her to a Doctor," Tuvok said, he picked Naomi up and headed out of the shuttle.

"So I take it the shuttle's medical kits aren't any good?" Kiara asked as she held the medical kit.

"Obviously not," Bryan muttered and he followed Tuvok out. Kiara rolled her eyes and she followed.

Voyager, Sickbay:
Doctor Jones appeared out of nowhere with the usual smile on his face. "Please state the nature of the medical emergency," he said cheerfully. He looked around the room to see his 'patient', but all he saw was James. "Is there something I can do for you?"

"Yeah, I'm just a little freaked out," James replied.

"Well I'm afraid I can't treat you for that, it's not really an illness," Doctor Jones said.

"That's not what I meant, I meant Jessie was freaking me out. There's something wrong with her," James said.

"Ah, I see. What's the symptoms?" Doctor Jones asked.

"She's eating strange stuff. She ordered Macaroni Cheese, she hates the stuff. Plus she was going to put chocolate sauce on her chips," James replied.

"Is it just me or do you think you already know what's wrong with her?" Doctor Jones asked.

"Actually, I was only worried that it could be that," James replied.

"Well you don't have to be. She has 30% less chance of being pregnant than a normal woman does. On another note, I don't think she has a boyfriend," Doctor Jones said.

"I suppose you're right, so why is she eating like that?" James asked.

"Tastes change, I suppose. Sometimes people start to like food they never liked when something's happened," Doctor Jones replied.

"Really?" James said questioningly.

"Well, the chocolate sauce thing is a completely different thing all together. I tell you what, I'll examine her and see what's wrong with her. I'm sure there's nothing to worry about," Doctor Jones replied.

"Thanks Doc," James said.

"Just doing my job," Doctor Jones said cheerfully.

The planet, an alien hospital:
Naomi was lying on a hospital bed, the others were standing around her. An alien was scanning her. He shook his head.

"Just as I thought," the doctor muttered.

"What?" Kiara asked. The doctor looked at her strangely, and he turned to Bryan and Tuvok.

"Has this girl been disrespectful in anyway, like disobeying orders or mouthing off at one of you two?" the doctor asked.

"She's always like that," Bryan muttered. Kiara elbowed him hard. The doctor gave Kiara another strange glance.

"Well this girl has the Atamit, my guess it won't be long until the other girl you have will get it," the doctor said.

"What is the Atamit?" Kiara asked. The doctor looked at her funny again. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Is she always like this?" the doctor asked.

"Yeah," Bryan said, Kiara elbowed him again.

"Then why don't you punish her?" the doctor asked.

"Because she'll just use her bad a** Q powers on me," Bryan said. Kiara glared at him.

"You don't know how big the temptation is right now," Kiara muttered.

"Your female is out of control, I suggest you train her to be respectful, or she'll end up with the Atamit as well," the doctor said.

"Doctor, what is the Atamit?" Tuvok asked.

"I hate explaining this to off worlders. The Atamit is the Gods' word for Spiritual Punishment. Any female which breaks the amendments will be spiritually punished by the gods," the doctor replied.

"What are the amendments?" Bryan asked.

"Basically a female is suppose to be a faithful servant to the males. That means they have to be respectful, fully obedient. If they argue back, yell at a man, hurt a man in anyway, or be disrespectful, they are breaking the amendments," the doctor replied.

"Those gods must be insane, it should be men who have rules like that against them," Kiara growled. The doctor glanced at her oddly again.

"So, erm, the whip marks were the result of the gods actually whipping Naomi?" Bryan asked.

"That's correct, young man," the doctor replied.

"What's the cure?" Tuvok asked.

"There is none, I suppose some alien women who are being punished in this way are cured when they leave the planet," the doctor replied.

"Then we'd better get to work and repair the shuttle," Tuvok said. Bryan and Kiara nodded in agreement.

"So how come Naomi got the whipping, and Kiara didn't?" Bryan asked.

"What have you got against me?" Kiara said questioningly.

"I have no idea, but you should keep her at the hospital just in case something does happen," the doctor replied.

"That'll slow down repairs," Tuvok said.

"It will slow them down even more if we had to rush Kiara to the hospital if something did happen," Bryan said.

"A very logical point, Mr Paris," Tuvok said.

Bryan laughed nervously. "Is that a compliment?" he asked.

"There's a first time for everything, well almost everything," Kiara muttered.

Writer's Break 2:
"Why are we having a break now, we've only done one scene?" Raichu asked.

"Shh, nobody was suppose to know that. Nobody noticed where we stopped on Thursday, and where we started today, now you've ruined it," Vulpix replied.

"You just said that because we're going to type up what happens after our break," Raichu said.

"Yep, you're sentence wouldn't make sense if I hadn't of said that," Vulpix said. Raichu rolled her eyes.

"Since this is our break, can I ask one thing?" Raichu asked.

"What?" Vulpix said questioningly.

"Are the shippers gone yet?" Raichu asked.

"I'm working on it, Web Express's undo is terrible, it only remembers what you did last. So I'm going have to undo the old fashioned way," Vulpix replied.

"Why change it, I like it," Marill asked as she lay on the nearby bed, watching another Pokémon episode. Raichu and Vulpix looked at each other nervously.

"That's good, we won't have to edit the episode after all," Raichu said.

"Phew, that worked out well," Vulpix said quietly. She hi-fived Raichu quietly, Marill didn't notice.

"However I have one suggestion," Marill said without unglueing her eyes from the screen.

"Erm," the other two girls muttered.

"Hey, this is my series. I know what I'm doing!" Marill snapped.

"Sorry," Raichu muttered.

"I'll whisper it to you so when you type this bit out the readers won't know what I said," Marill said. Raichu went over to her, and Marill whispered something in her ear.

"All right, whatever," Raichu said.

"I feel strange," Vulpix muttered.

"Hey, I'm the only ill one here," Marill moaned.

"Tough, I think I'm ill too. I feel like I'm turning serious, I have no idea what we're doing, and I don't know where I am," Vulpix muttered.

"Aaagh, Vulpix is sobering up, we need Cherry Coke... stat!" Raichu said in a dramatic voice. She rushed out of the room and ran downstairs, nearly tripping over the cat in the process.

"So, Sarah. Why am I writing something like Fifth Voyager?" Vulpix asked.

"It's Marill, and you're writing cos you wanted to," Marill replied.

"Marill? What kind of stupid person names his or herself after a Pokémon?" Vulpix asked.

"Raichu! Vulpix is starting to scare me!" Marill yelled as loud as she could.

Raichu rushed back upstairs with the Cherry Coke bottle that was bought the previous day, she nearly tripped over the cat again. She gave Vulpix the Cherry Coke, and she drank only a mouthful. She then perked up.

"Aaah, that's better, I have the strangest urge to write," Vulpix said. Raichu sighed in relief.

"Now if that isn't scary, what is?" Raichu asked herself. She picked something up and she screamed. "There's a horrible monster on this photo!" Raichu screamed.

"Probably me," Marill muttered.

"Nah, you wouldn't have a pic of yourself in your room," Raichu muttered.

"Er, Rai, that's a mirror," Vulpix pointed out.

"Oh," Raichu muttered and she laughed nervously.

"What the hell is a mirror doing in my room?" Marill asked.

"Yeah, and why isn't it broken?" Raichu asked.

"It does have a crack in it, Raichu," Vulpix said.

"Oops, I really shouldn't look in mirror's, I'll get years of bad luck," Raichu muttered.

"Erm, yeah. I think we should get on with the episode," Vulpix said.

"Yeah, but I must say that wasn't much of a break," Raichu said.

The planet, on the Flyer, a few hours later:
Bryan and Tuvok were repairing the shuttle. They both heard a banging noise coming from the doors to the shuttle. Bryan stood up and he headed towards the source. He stepped outside and he stopped dead in his tracks.

"Kiara, what are you doing here, and what happened to you?" Bryan asked. Kiara was facing him with blood coming down her face, and blood was also pouring from her hands. She looked at him with bright red eyes.

A strange devilish voice came from Kiara's mouth, "live eurt morf devas eb llahs selamef ruoy dna edis ruo ot emoc, neila ynup!"

"Er, what?" Bryan said questioningly and he slowly stepped backwards.

"Pots!" Kiara bellowed with her new voice.

"Pots?" Bryan said questioningly, he couldn't help but laugh.

"Em kcom uoy od?" Kiara said angrily.

"Mr Paris, step away from her. If I understand correctly, the being inside of her is speaking backwards. When you thought she said pots, she said stop," Tuvok said as he stepped out of the shuttle.

"Devas eb lliw selamef ruoy dna edis krad eht ot emoc, swal sdog eht rednu hsirep lliw selamef owt eht," Kiara said.

"I think the being said something about to the dark side, and the females will be saved," Tuvok said.

"How do you do that?" Bryan asked.

"Noisiced ruoy si tahw?" Kiara said.

"If it's the only way to save Kiara and.." Bryan said.

"No Mr Paris. The being wants us to turn to this planet's version of the devil for help," Tuvok said.

"You mean they make take our souls?" Bryan asked.

"Possibly," Tuvok replied.

"Tey uoy htiw dehsinif t'nsah eh syas eh, kcuf, retsam ym tlusni uoy!" Kiara snapped. Her normal voice screamed in pain, and she collapsed onto the floor. Blood continued to pour from her body as she lay there. Bryan and Tuvok knelt down beside her. Tuvok checked her pulse.

"She's still alive, we better get her to the hospital," Tuvok said.

Back on Voyager:
James and Lena were walking down a corridor talking. Lena kept looking behind her, she noticed the Slayer shippers following them.

"Shippers Alert," Lena said. She and James tried to walk faster, but the Shippers just ran to catch up with them.

One grabbed James' arm tightly. "Leave Jessie, you'd be great with Lena," she said. More shippers surrounded the poor pair.

"You'd make such a cute couple," one said.

"Oh the chemistry," another said.

"Craig? He's a girl chasing freak, you can do better," another said. James and Lena tried to push their way through the shippers.

"Come on, just one little kiss and we'll leave you alone," one shipper said, the others agreed. James and Lena turned slightly pale, they looked at each other.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Lena asked.

"Yep," James replied.

Lena went over to the nearest corner, and James went to another, both pretended to throw up.

"Aaw, I was hoping they'd go to the same corner if you know what I mean," one shipper said.

"That's a little more than I wanted to know," one shipper said. The shippers started arguing amongst themselves.

Lena and James quickly snuck away while the shippers argued. One noticed them getting away.

"Where exactly are you going?" the shipper asked. The others turned to look.

"Away," Lena replied, she and James walked faster. They both smiled as they turned the corner. The Slayer shippers hit the corner, they quickly turned around and went back the way they came. A few seconds later the Aquarius shippers and the J-Steppers came around the corner and they chased after the Slayer shippers.

"Lena and James together, yeah right!" one Aquarius shipper yelled.

"Get a life, losers!" one J-Stepper yelled.

"They're entitled to their opinion.." one Aquarius shipper said. A few stopped and glared at her. "But I like mine better," the shipper stuttered.

"Run faster!" one Slayer shipper yelled.

Lena and James watched the Aquarius shippers and J-Steppers catch up with the Slayer shippers, and a fight ensue.

"For once, those Aquarius and J-Steps shippers came in handy," Lena said.

"Yeah, lets get out of here," James said.

The pair quickly ran off leaving the shippers to fight for their opinions on couples.. when you say it like that, it sounds sad doesn't it, but I can't say anything.

"Vulpix, get on with it!" Raichu's voice grumbled.

"Sorry," Vulpix's voice muttered.

"And stop being cruel to the Slayer shippers," Raichu's voice said.

"But, I'm an anti-Slayer shipper," Vulpix's voice moaned.

"Tough," Raichu's voice said.

The planet:
The doctor was scanning Kiara's unconscious form, as Tuvok and Bryan hovered nearby.

"Yes, she has the Atamit. But the possession was not caused by the gods," the doctor said.

"So how and why did she get possessed?" Bryan asked.

"It happens very rarely, but sometimes a messenger from the Dark Caverns takes over an Atamit victim to try and claim their souls," the doctor said.

"Dark Caverns?" Tuvok said questioningly.

"The afterlife people go to if they are disrespectful to the gods," the doctor replied.

"I like that name better than Hell," Bryan muttered.

"How is your repairs getting along?" the doctor asked.

"We'll be able to leave in a few hours, I don't see why Voyager hasn't found us yet," Tuvok replied.

Voyager:
"Tom, Harry, what are you doing with that opps station?" Kathryn asked angrily when she stepped out of her Ready Room. As it looked Tom and Harry were redesigning the opps station.

"Crap, I got away with doing my station up," Tom muttered.

"Chakotay, why did you let them do this?" Kathryn asked. Chakotay looked up from reading a magazine.

"What?" he said questioningly. Kathryn groaned and she snatched the magazine off him. She looked at it and she gave Chakotay a strange look.

"Star Wars magazine, what are you, a traitor?" Kathryn asked angrily.

"I er was just looking at it to gain secret information," Chakotay said and he laughed nervously.

Kathryn angrily threw it onto the floor. A passing crewmember picked it up to look at it but it exploded, killing the crewmember instantly, nobody could of cared less.

"Aaaw, my magazine. I knew I shouldn't of lent you it Chakotay," Tom said.

"You to, Tom?" Kathryn said questioningly.

"I was only kidding," Tom said and he laughed nervously.

Kathryn rolled her eyes. "So, any sign of Tuvok's class?"

"What class?" Chakotay asked.

"Oh great, for all we know they've crashed on a planet which is causing two crewmembers to experience incredible pain," Kathryn muttered.

"Now that's just stupid, where would you get that idea from?" Chakotay asked.

"This 'Spoilers or Rumours' book," Kathryn replied as she pulled out a note book.

"Nooooooooooooo, how did she get that!" Vulpix's voice screamed.

The book disappeared instantly.

"Oh come on, Vulpix, anyone can tell that one is a made up rumour of yours," Kathryn said.

"Oh yeah? I'm smarter than I look Janeway," Vulpix's voice said.

"Hey, give me the remote back!" Marill's voice yelled.

"No! What the hell does this button do?" Vulpix's voice replied.

"That's the power off button, maybe you shouldn't use it on your brain so much," Raichu's voice said.

Everyone on the Bridge looked at each other nervously.

"Just ignore the writers everyone. We'd better get to work and find Tuvok and the others," Kathryn said.

A group of J/Cers came onto the Bridge.

"There's our favourite couple, lets have a kiss then," one said.

"No, no, no, they're not like that. Only off duty," one said.

"Damn you, Vulpix," Kathryn muttered.

"Teehee, revenge is sweet, especially when it's working," Vulpix's voice said.

The planet:
Tuvok and Bryan came into the hospital as fast as they could.

"Is there a problem?" the doctor asked.

"Well I'd think that the Delta Flyer being totally raided leaving nothing but metal is a bit of a problem," Bryan replied.

"Well if these girls stay on this planet any longer, they will die of loss of blood," the doctor said.

"Can't you replace it?" Tuvok asked.

"No, that would anger the gods," the doctor replied.

"You're a f****ng doctor, not a priest, just heal them!" Bryan yelled.

"What's a priest?" the doctor asked.

"Mr Paris, stay calm. There is a way out of every situation," Tuvok replied.

"Okay, awaiting beam out," Bryan said sarcastically.

"We haven't had much Atamit action yet Mr Paris, it's too early for that," Tuvok said.

"I wouldn't say it's too early in our time, it's 11:20 at night," Raichu's voice said.

"Quit butting in," Vulpix's voice moaned.

"That's strange, how come you're still here?" Marill's voice said.

"Cool, we've been forgotten about. We'll stay here all night, bwahahaha," Raichu's voice laughed.

"Aaw, so much for feeling better," Marill's voice muttered.

A male nurse ran up to the doctor. "Doctor, one of the patients, she's getting the knife wounds," he said.

"You know what to do, I'll be there in a minute," the doctor said. The nurse nodded his head and he rushed back down the corridor. "The girl you know as Kiara has been having more of the Atamit, the girl called Naomi has only had the whiplashes."

"That's strange, I wonder why Kiara's getting punished more than Naomi," Bryan said.

"Maybe she's broken more rules than Naomi has. I'd better get to work," the doctor said, and he ran down the corridor. Tuvok and Bryan followed him.

Minutes later:
Kiara was lying unconscious as lots of vicious knife wounds appeared on her skin. Naomi was on the neighbouring bed, looking away from what was happening. The doctors and nurses were trying to stop the bleeding but more knife wounds kept appearing.

"Doctor, if this keeps going on she'll die," one nurse said frantically.

"It should have ended by now," the doctor said, he walked away from the bed and he knelt down on the ground. Everyone looked at him like if he was crazy. "Uiloi iutej sertic pilou, ira yuter!" he said like if he was saying a prayer. Nothing happened. "Uiloi iutej sertic pilou, ira yuter!" he repeated.

"Translation?" Bryan said questioningly.

"It's an old religious phrase, it means spare this girl from your wrath," one of the nurses said.

"Oh, I er get it," Bryan muttered.

"It's working, the knife wounds have ceased!" another nurse exclaimed. The main doctor got off his knees, he placed his left hand on his face, and he muttered some more foreign words behind his hand.

"He said thank you," the nurse said.

"Oh, ok," Bryan said.

The doctors and nurses tried to stop the bleeding, as the main doctor scanned her.

"If something else happens, she will most probably die," the doctor said.

"But I thought they spared her from their wrath," Bryan said.

"Just temporarily, they'll probably continue to punish her," the doctor said.

"Crap, when things started looking up," Bryan muttered.

Voyager:
"I've found them," Harry said.

"Good work," Kathryn said.

"Harry, how's the TV I installed then?" Tom asked.

"I er haven't tried it... honest," Harry replied.

"Is that what you were installing?" Chakotay asked.

"It's connected to that video camera in the transporter room, and various other places I can't name... I'd better stop talking," Tom replied.

"Tell me, Tom, did you place those video cameras?" Kathryn asked.

"No, it was that unknown crewman that got blown up," Tom replied.

"Ah, ok. Anyway, Harry beam up the awayteam," Kathryn ordered.

"To Sickbay?" Harry asked.

"They always come back injured, besides I have a hunch that at least two crewmembers are badly injured," Kathryn replied.

"You've been looking at too many episode notes," Chakotay muttered.

"They're in Sickbay, Captain. Doctor Jones says the reset button is ready after Suicidal's little usage," Harry said.

"Excellent, that reset button never fails," Kathryn said, she looked at another notebook quickly, and she put it away. "I stand by my comment," she said.

Sickbay, hours later:
"Finally, I now have time for that examination I wanted to do," Doctor Jones muttered to himself. Right on cue Jessie walked in, just a little too cheerfully.

"So what do you want, Doccie?" Jessie asked.

"A nice harmless examination of you, won't take long," Doctor Jones replied. Jessie shrugged her shoulders and she sat on the biobed. Doctor Jones walked over and he scanned her.

"I take it I'm ok then," Jessie said.

"I suppose so. Just tell me, has there been anymore love spells?" Doctor Jones asked.

"Er.. no," Jessie muttered.

"Only kidding. Anyway, seriously this is sort of impossible," Doctor Jones muttered.

"Erm, what is it, have I got the plague?" Jessie asked.

"It's not that impossible," Doctor Jones replied.

"Then what is it then?" Jessie asked.

"Well you're erm, pregnant," Doctor Jones replied. Jessie just stared at him in shock.

"That is bloody impossible!" she stuttered.

"Indeed, do you want me to check to see who the father is?" Doctor Jones asked.

"No, I know, and I don't want you to know," Jessie said.

"So who is it then, or do I have to find out for myself?" Doctor Jones asked.

"Oh for f**k sake, it's James, we've been sort of seeing each other since August. Are you happy now!" Jessie muttered, she folded her arms and she pouted.

"Actually no, those damn J-Steppers will be in here any..." Doctor Jones said.

A huge group of J-Steppers rushed in cheering away.

"Minute," Doctor Jones finished.

"Yey, are you going to tell him?" one asked.

"Are you going to marry him?" one asked.

Doctor Jones shook his head and he walked away in disgust.

"The answer to both of those questions is no, so leave me alone!" Jessie yelled.

"This is just sooo cool, I love it when things happen early," one said.

"Yeah, Season Three is too far away isn't it?" one said.

"That's it, I'm getting out of here," Jessie muttered and she pushed her way out.

Will those shippers ever get back to where they came from? Why was a representative from hell speaking backwards? How did Kathryn get ahold of Vulpix's Spoilers and Rumours notepad? Why has yet another later season idea happened in this Season? And will Marill ever go back to erm, normal, is that the right term?
Find out the answers to maybe some of these questions next time on Fifth Voyager.

 

****THE END****

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