Episode 1.19: Upendi Part 1


Part One

Episode Synopsis
When five crewmembers start to cause too much trouble Janeway puts them on the nightshift to teach them a lesson.

Guest Stars
Marill as herself
Raichu as herself

Written By
Marill & Raichu

24th June 2001

25th March 2003
1st April 2004
11th January 2005

Episode Based In
April 2376 (late season 6)

The Ready Room:
Morgan and Craig stepped into the Ready Room. Morgan was grinning her head off as usual, and Craig was day dreaming.

"I heard you played a prank on the most respected senior officer," Kathryn said angrily. The Doctor, who was standing next to her, smiled proudly.

"That's not true, we played the prank on the Doctor, Captain," Craig said. Morgan elbowed him hard in the stomach.

"That's who she means!" Morgan snapped.

"Oh," Craig muttered.

"What happened?" Kathryn asked.

"We programmed the Doc to think like a ballerina," Morgan muttered.

"That explains his appearance on the Bridge. He came in dressed in a pink tutu and he demanded that everyone should attend his show," Kathryn said. Morgan and Craig put hands over their mouths to stop them from giggling.

"Permission to laugh, Captain," Craig said.

"Permission refused," Kathryn said angrily.

"We may have to laugh anyway, Captain," Craig laughed. He and Morgan burst out laughing.

"Morgan, why do you do these things?" Kathryn asked angrily.

"The Doctor is so horrible, mum," Morgan replied.

"I am not, Captain! I'm extremely nice!" the Doctor almost screeched.

"Mum, he's been horrible to us since we first met. He's evil," Morgan said.

"Is there going to be a flashback?" Craig moaned.

"Of course, what kind of stupid question is that?" Morgan replied.

Flashback, 2370:
"You must be Craig Anderson, time for your physical," the Doctor said cheerfully, holding up a laser scalpel.

"Oooh, look at all the girls in here...wait a sec, what's a physical?" Craig asked.

"Let me demonstrate," the Doctor said as he walked closer to Craig. Craig stepped back against the wall. "Hmm, I think you should be neutered," the Doctor muttered.

"Oh god no!" Craig screamed. The Doctor walked closer to him with the scalpel. Craig ran out of Sickbay screaming.

End of Flashback:
"That is not true!" the Doctor yelled.

"Save it, Doctor," Kathryn said. The Doctor put his stroppy face on. "I've thought of the perfect punishment for the two of you. You, and a team of your choice, will play basketball with a team led by the Doctor," Kathryn said.

"But captain, if we lose against original Voyager characters, we'll be shown up in front of our fans," Craig said.

"You'd better win then," Kathryn said.

Holodeck One:
"The score is now 36:0, to the Original team," the computer said. The half time bell went off. The Doctor, Tom, Harry, B'Elanna & Seven sat down at the right side of the pitch. Morgan, Tani, Craig, James & Jessie sat down at the opposite side.

"Okay, what the hell happened?" Morgan asked.

"Tom kept showing me a mirror, my hair was all messed up," Jessie muttered, fiddling with her hair.

"Harry kept showing me a picture of a group of nice girls," Craig replied, daydreaming slightly.

"B'Elanna threatened me with a day with Seven," Tani shuddered.

"The Doctor threaten to do the N word," James said while crossing his legs.

"See, I told her, but she didn't believe me," Craig pouted.

"Imbeciles," Morgan muttered.

"Hey Morgan! Who's the coolest ex-drone now!" Seven yelled. Jessie & James put their hands up.

"You're going to die, Seven!" Morgan yelled.

"That's Annika to you, Kiara!" Seven yelled back.

"She's going down," Morgan growled.

"How? They keep doing things to distract us," Craig asked.

"We'll just have to take something from their rule book, we distract them," Morgan said.

"Cool idea," Tani said.

"What exactly have you got in mind?" Jessie asked.

"For B'Elanna, we use a fake commlink, for the others we kick a** since the writers don't like them," Morgan said.

"We can't hurt the Doctor," James said.

"We can annoy him," Morgan said.

"What's the plan?" Craig asked.

"Somebody will keep distracting B'Elanna with fake calls from Engineering, I asked Triah to do that for us. Somebody will have to chase Seven with something dangerous, like a chainsaw. Same with Tom and Harry. And for the Doctor, I've got a holo-remote, I can change him into whatever I want," Morgan said.

"Just make sure you don't change him into a basketball player," Tani said. Morgan pulled a bag over to her. She pulled out the remote, a mini chainsaw and two small knives.

"I'll have the chainsaw, Craig, Tani you'll both have the knives. Jessie or James can have the remote," Morgan said.

"That's boring," James moaned.

"Fine, I'll have the remote," Jessie said.

"What can I have?" James asked.

"Well, if B'Elanna has the ball when Triah contacts her just pinch it off her and pass it to one of us," Morgan said.

"Can I have the remote?" James asked.

"No," Jessie replied.

"End of half time," the computer said. Everyone stood up and they took their places on the court. The New team were hiding their weapons either in their pockets or behind their backs. The bell went and game was now in play. Jessie pressed a few buttons on the remote, the Doctor turned into Cilla Black. Everyone screamed when they saw him, or rather her.

"What's going on, chucks?" the Doctor/Cilla asked. Jessie quickly changed him into a chicken. Seven ran up to Morgan, she had the ball.

"Hello Morgan, try and get the ball off me now," Seven said in a boasty voice, she was incredibly fast with the ball.

Morgan pulled out the chainsaw and she turned it on. Seven screamed, she dropped the ball and she ran away, Morgan ran after her.

The Original team were just staring at the scene, meanwhile the other members of the New team were scoring in the net. The Doctor was too busy clucking to do anything. B'Elanna stopped staring at the scene and she tried to get the ball off the other team.

"Triah to Torres," Triah's voice said over the commlink.

B'Elanna stopped and she pressed her commbadge. "What is it!" she growled. Meanwhile the New team continued to score points. Tom and Harry were just staring at Morgan who had cornered Seven.

"We're having some problems down here, somebody is asleep," Triah said.

"Then wake them up, Torres out," B'Elanna said angrily and she tapped her commbadge again. Suddenly she heard a scream. Everyone stopped, Morgan had dropped her active chainsaw on Seven. Jessie and James saw the blood and they both fainted.

Craig and Tani continued to score points on their own. Tom and Harry headed over to them. The next thing they knew Craig & Tani were chasing them with knives. The Doctor continued to cluck.

When the game finished, the score was 56:36 to the New team. Seven was dead in the corner of the room, Tom & Harry had a lot of cut marks, B'Elanna was nearly pulling her hair out and the Doctor was still clucking.

The Ready Room:
Morgan, Craig, Tani, Jessie & James entered the room. Kathryn was staring angrily at them. Morgan had her huge grin on her face, Craig was day dreaming again, Tani was scared stiff, Jessie & James were sharing a walkman so they were slightly dancing.

"I heard what happened, I'm not impressed," Kathryn muttered.

"They made me do it," Tani blurted out.

"Thanks, Tani," Morgan said.

"Seven had to be taken to Sickbay and revived, Tom & Harry had multiple knife wounds, the Doctor had to be reprogrammed. Why did you do this?" Kathryn asked.

"They were cheating, mum. They were keep distracting us, so we thought we'd get revenge," Morgan replied.

"You killed Seven," Kathryn said.

"Since when was that a crime?" Craig asked.

"Murder is a crime on this ship," Kathryn said.

"Mum, firstly it was an accident, I didn't drop the chainsaw on purpose. Secondly it's only Seven, nobody likes her," Morgan said.

"What about the knives and the holo remote?" Kathryn asked.

"The holo remote was just for fun," Morgan muttered.

"The knife thing only started out as a chase, it was their fault that they decided to insult us with knives in our hands," Craig said.

"This time I have the punishment for you. You will no longer be causing mischief on this ship, you will no longer not do any work.. why are they dancing?" Kathryn said. Morgan, Tani & Craig looked over at James & Jessie. Jessie started singing to the song, which happened to be Lollipop (Candyman) by Aqua.

"Oh, I hate this song," Tani muttered. Morgan pushed Craig out of the way and she stole James' headphone.

"Hey, I was listening to that," James moaned.

Morgan and Jessie sang along. Everyone just stared at them. Morgan continued to sing to the verses on her own. Kathryn stood up and she pulled the headphone out of Morgan's ear. She did the same to the other headphone.

"I can't understand you at all! You are all here to be given punishment and you continue to misbehave," Kathryn said angrily.

"Why did you have to bring that Aqua CD in here, you know I like Aqua," Morgan muttered.

"I thought you hated Aqua," Jessie said.

"I used to until I heard the song 'Halloween,' that's a really cool song," Morgan said.

"Excuse me, will you stop having your own conversation when I am talking to you!" Kathryn exclaimed.

"Yeah, that is a really funny song, do you like Roses Are Red?" James asked.

"I love that song," Morgan replied.

"I love the lead singer," Craig said.

"You would, it's a girl," Tani muttered.

"Who looks a lot like Morgan," Jessie said.

"Now that you mention it, she does," James said.

"WILL YOU STOP F****** HAVING YOUR OWN F****** CONVERSATION WHEN I AM TALKING TO YOU!" Kathryn yelled. Everyone in Engineering blocked their ears because the voice was so loud.

"Ouch, now I can't hear anything," Tani said as she rubbed her left ear.

"I am going to put you on the night shift, where you will all work, not listen to f****** Aqua songs," Kathryn said angrily.

"That sounds like a good idea," Morgan whispered to Jessie, she nodded in agreement.

"Your shift starts tonight, remember work, no play. Now get out of my sight," Kathryn said. The five left the room.

"I call Captain," Morgan said quickly.

"First Officer," Craig said. Everyone else groaned.

"Can I fly the ship?" Tani asked.

"Yeah sure, you can put it on auto pilot while we have a party," Morgan replied.

"I suppose this isn't going to be so bad," James muttered.

Holodeck Two:
"Hey, what a cool program," Harry said.

"Yeah, I found it in the database, I thought I'd spice it up a little," Tom said.

"Much better than your recent programmes," Harry said.

"Hey! They weren't mine!" Tom yelled.

"Whatever you say," Harry said. Triah walked into the holodeck, she looked around and she walked up to Tom & Harry.

"What is this program?" Triah asked.

"It's Upendi. It's an exotic club. It has a mini water roller coaster, loads of bars, a huge dance floor and twenty four hour entertainment. We're hoping to keep it on on a permanent basis," Tom replied.

"Since when does clubs put in roller coasters?" Triah asked.

"Since Upendi was programmed, that's what Upendi is all about, the water coaster. Haven't you seen The Lion King 2?" Tom replied.

"I knew the name sounded familiar.. wait, don't say the coaster is based on the Upendi bit in Lion King 2," Triah said.

"It is," Harry said.

"I'll have to have a go later," Triah said.

"No, you need a male partner to go on, remember it's Upendi," Tom said.

"So all I have to do is drag a lad on with me and I can go on the ride," Triah asked.

"It's not that simple, Upendi isn't about the ride, it's about love," Harry said.

"Yuck," Triah muttered.

"Not just that, it's about co-operation, no matter how different people are you must treat each other the same, as one. Remember the song We Are One from Lion King 2," Tom said.

"What's Upendi got to do with that?" Triah asked.

"It's simple. In the song Upendi, Kiara & Kovu, were on the ride. They were from two different worlds but they fell in love anyway. The pair managed to show both of their prides that 'we are one,'" Tom replied.

"Good message, but that has nothing to do with this program is it?" Triah said.

"No this Upendi program is about having fun, are you coming to the party tonight? Those teenagers won't be here to spoil it coz they're on the night shift tonight," Harry said.

"Sure, that'll be fun," Triah replied.

The following night, the Bridge:
The Aqua song 'Happy Boys and Girls' was on as all five crewmembers on the Bridge were at their stations. It finished. Morgan jumped out of the Captains chair.

"Lets get a video camera, we can make our own video for 'Halloween'," Morgan blurted out.

"Good idea," Jessie sighed.

"I don't know the words," Tani muttered.

"It's easy to catch onto the chorus," Morgan said.

Thirteen minutes later:
"That was fun," Morgan said.

"Yeah, which song should we put on now?" Jessie asked. One of the consoles made a loud beeping noise.

"Console beeping, that can't be good," Craig muttered. The console beeped again. Jessie walked over to the Tactical station.

"It's this one," Jessie said.

"What's up?" Morgan asked.

"It says there is a ship heading our way, that can't be good," Jessie replied.

"I think we should get to stations," Morgan said. Tani rushed over to the helm, and James rushed over to the Opps Station. Morgan and Craig rushed to the command chairs.

"It's hailing," James said.

"Open a channel," Morgan said. On the viewscreen a Channel 5 advert came on. The English crewmembers screamed.

"It's Channel 5, quick change the channel!" Jessie screamed.

"What's so bad about this Channel 5?" Tani asked.

"It's one of the free channels in the UK, it never shows anything good," Craig replied.

"There, that should do," James muttered. Sky One came on and everyone calmed down. WWF Wrestling came on.

"Oh for god sake, when I say open a channel, I mean accept the commlink between the aliens not change the TV channel," Morgan groaned.

"Oh, I knew that," James muttered.

"Wait a sec, here comes the Hardy Boys," Tani said.

"Ohno, she fancies the Hardy Boys, we'll be here a long time," Morgan muttered. The viewscreen changed to show the aliens. They were black skinned (black, as in the colour black) and they had bright green eyes.

"I'm Captain Morgan Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager, what the hell do you want?" Morgan asked.

"She's not very polite is she?" Jessie muttered.

"You are in our space and you have a lot of power we can use. Surrender, or you'll be destroyed," one of the aliens said.

"Not on my shift, Jessie power weapons, red alert," Morgan said. The viewscreen switched off and the red alert siren started. "Hey, these can be good disco lights," Morgan muttered.

"Er.. Morgan, we're in their space, maybe we should retreat," Craig said.

"They threatened to destroy the ship so they should be destroyed themselves," Morgan said.

"Firing torpedos," Jessie said.

"Well?" Morgan asked.

"Er.. no damage," Jessie muttered.

"That ain't good," Tani said.

"They're firing this weird weapon, no it's a tractor beam," James said.

"They can't do that, our shields are working," Morgan muttered. The ship shook.

"Not anymore, the tractor beam has just drained it's power," Jessie said.

"Oh s***! On my first command as well," Morgan moaned.

"They're doing that beam thing again," James said. The lights started to flicker on and off, the consoles started to go offline. In a few seconds everything was in darkness.

"Oh s***! I'm scared of the dark," Jessie moaned.

"Uh.. second," James muttered.

"Ohno," Tani moaned.

"Craig, where is the flashlights?" Morgan asked.

"I think they're in those thingys at each station," Craig replied.

"I can't even see the console," Tani said.

"Oh god, we're going to die, those aliens might board the ship and kill us all, and we wouldn't even see them," Jessie said in a panicky voice.

"I don't think so, they were just after the power," Morgan said.

"How do you know that?" James asked.

"I don't know, it's just a feeling," Morgan said.

"I found a flashlight!" Tani yelled. Suddenly a ray of light appeared from the helm.

"Great, this'll make it easier to find more," Morgan said. Tani stood up and she wandered around the room until she found the Engineering station. She looked around for a few seconds and she picked something up.

"I've got another one," Tani said.

"Tani, try and connect the flashlight's power source to that station," Morgan said as she attempted to walk over to her.

"I will, if we can find another one, just for safety," Tani said.

"Craig, go to the science console and find another one," Morgan said. Craig attempted to head over to the science console.

"Craig, this is opps, I've already looked for one and I can't find one," James said.

"Drat, where's the science console," Craig muttered. Suddenly a few consoles activated, the room was brightened up a little better. "Oh there it is," Craig said and he headed over to the science station.

"I don't think the power will last long. Maybe we can find a planet with dilithium," Tani said.

"Craig, while your there scan for the nearest source of dilithium," Morgan said. Craig started to work at the console, it bleeped.

"Found one, luckily it's only two minutes away," Craig said.

"Those aliens are rather dense, they've got a planet rich in dilithium yet they steal power from other ships," Jessie said.

"Tani, we'd better get there before we run out of power," Morgan said. Tani quickly headed over to the helm.

"You read my mind," Tani said quickly as she sat down.

"I think we should land on the planet when we get there, it'll be easier to get to the dilithium," Craig said.

"Good idea, lets hope we have enough power to land," Morgan said.

"That torch's power won't give us enough power to land a starship, we need more of them," Tani said.

"I think you lot should look for some more flashlights," Morgan said to Craig, Jessie & James.

"We've entered orbit," Tani said.

"We'd better land before we run out, take us down," Morgan ordered.

"Nice knowing you all," Tani muttered.

"Found another one," Jessie said.

"Connect it to the power thing," Morgan said. Jessie quickly walked over to the engineering console and she started to connect it to the console. "How long until we land, Tani?" Morgan asked.

"Two minutes if we get more power, a few seconds if we lose power," Tani said.

"Why does it take longer with power?" James asked.

"If we lose power now, the planet's gravity will pull us down, and we crash," Tani replied.

"I can't get this thing to connect," Jessie said. Craig and James rushed over to her.

"Jess, try disconnecting the other one," James said.

"Ooops, sorry everyone," Jessie said.

"Reconnect quickly, or we'll crash," Tani said. Jessie took out the cable connecting the first flashlight, the consoles went off again and the ship started to shake violently. The torch that was being used for light rolled to the other side of the bridge when the ship lurched sideways.

"Oh s***! I can't see what the hell I'm doing!" Jessie yelled.

"If we survive this, the Captain's going to kill us," Tani muttered. The ship shook even more violently as it grew closer to the surface.

"I got it," Jessie said. The consoles reactivated but it was too late. There was a huge thud as the ship hit the ground. Everything blackened again.

The Alien Ship:
"Those fools have crash landed on our planet," the first alien said.

"They did exactly what we expected them to do, send one of our ships down," the second alien said.

"Yes sir," the first alien said.

Will we find out what those aliens are up to? Will the gang on the Bridge save the ship from the aliens? What has Upendi got to do with this episode? Why is this episode named Upendi? What the hell is Upendi? Join us next time to find out the answers to these questions!!


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