Return of Third Voyager

Episode Synopsis
Fifth Voyager ends up having to team up with a less competent Voyager to save the Third Dimension from an eighth season of original Voyager.

Guest Stars
Marill as herself
Vulpix as herself
Firera as herself
Rick Berman as Himself
Brannon Braga as Himself

Written By
Marill, Vulpix & Firera

25th February 2002

Episode Based In
February 2378


Doctor Jones appeared in the most ridiculous outfit: a clown suit. He heard two people laughing from behind him. He turned around to see who it was.

"James! Jessie! Are you responsible for this?" Doctor Jones yelled.

Jessie and James attempted an innocent face each, but it just made them laugh even more.

"I'm going to speak with the Captain about you two," Doctor Jones said.

"Ooh, we're really scared," Jessie laughed.

James pressed a couple more buttons on the console, and Doctor Jones' outfit changed. He had, instead of a clown suit, a pink and yellow swimming costume on.

"What the hell am I wearing!" Doctor Jones yelled.

Jessie took out her camera and she took a picture. She and James burst out laughing again.

Emma walked in, she stopped suddenly when she saw Doctor Jones. Her eyes widened in horror.

"Computer, deactivate the EMH, and hurry!" Emma screamed.

"Unable to comply."

Doctor Jones rushed over to the console, and he keyed in some commands. He turned back to his usual self.

"I'm going right to the Captain.. Emma, what do you want?" Doctor Jones asked.

"Erm, I'll just wait until you get back. I need time to recover," Emma replied.

"Ok, don't do anything stupid," Doctor Jones said. He put his mobile emitter on his arm, and he rushed out of the room.

Emma glanced at Jessie and James, who were STILL laughing their heads off. "Thanks for that, now I'm scarred for life," Emma said.

Suddenly the lights died down, and the red alert lights started flashing.

The Bridge:
Kathryn stepped out of her Ready Room and she headed to the centre of the Bridge.

"Report?" she commanded.

Chakotay got out of his chair and he met Kathryn in the centre of the Bridge.

"A dimensional distortion has just appeared, a ship is about to emerge," Chakotay said.

Kathryn turned to Harry. "Harry, can you tell which dimension the ship's from?"

Harry worked at his station. He froze for a few seconds before looking up at Kathryn.

"This isn't possible, it's from the Third Dimension," Harry replied.

"Oh god, I hope the writers don't have a ship," Tom muttered.

"Somehow I doubt it. In the Third Dimension, it's only the 21st century," Tuvok said.

"Oh yeah," Tom said quietly.

"Captain," Harry said to get Kathryn's attention.

Everyone looked at the viewscreen, another Voyager came out. Everyone stared in confusion.

"Are you sure it's from the Third Dimension?" Kathryn asked nervously.

"Positive. Maybe it's from their future," Harry replied.

"I don't think so, Harry. Why would the people want to have a ship exactly like a TV shows' ship?" Tom said.

"I may have an attempted technobabble explanation, Captain," Tuvok said.

Everyone looked Tuvok's way, waiting for his explanation.

"The Voyager from the TV show is suppose to be in one of the alternate Third dimensions, where all the TV shows' characters, and everything are stored," Tuvok said.

"If that makes sense, then I don't know what doesn't," Tom muttered.

"So how did Third Voyager get here then?" Chakotay asked.

"Maybe they can answer that, we're being hailed," Harry replied.

"Do we really want to see original Voyager, by now it should be way past their last episode," Tom said.

"It can't be that bad, it's not like there's a bizarre coupling," Chakotay said.

The viewscreen changed to show another Bridge. The only familiar faces were Chakotay and Annika. That Chakotay stood up from the Captain's chair.

"What is this, this can't be another Voyager," Chakotay 2 said to an unknown crewmember.

"It is, sir. We seem to have been brought into the Fifth Dimension," the crewmember said.

"Crap, just when I got promoted as well," Chakotay 2 muttered.

"Are you going to talk to us at all, or did you just want to look at us?" Kathryn asked.

"Where did you come from?" Chakotay 2 asked.

"What do you mean, where did we come from? You came into our dimension," Kathryn replied.

"What I want to know is, why is there another Voyager in the Fifth Dimension," Chakotay 2 said.

"We're the victims, er I mean, the cast of an insane fanfic series called Fifth Voyager," Chakotay said.

"Fifth Voyager? Jeez, that's a crummy name," the unknown crewmember said.

"Wait a minute, are you guys still in the Delta Quadrant?" Chakotay 2 asked.

"Yes unfortunately, we're only in the second season, that's the equivalent to your Season Eight," Kathryn replied.

"Oh, not Virtual Voyager Season Eight again," Annika said.

Everyone on the Fifth Voyager bridge rolled their eyes.

"From what I've heard, VVS8 is a hell of a lot better than the seventh season of original Voyager," Tom said.

"Only because nearly all of the writers are probably J/Cers," Chakotay 2 said.

"Er, I hate to interrupt but the distortion has just disappeared," Harry said.

"Oh crap, this is not my day," Chakotay 2 muttered.

"It's not so bad. I doubt this Fifth Voyager is written by J/Cers anyway," Annika said.

The Fifth Voyager crewmembers looked at each other, and most of them smiled.

"But Seven, we need to get back to our dimension before the real eighth season starts," Chakotay 2 said.

"Real eighth season?" everyone on the Fifth Voyager bridge said.

"None of your business. You're only in a crummy fanfic series, hardly worth bothering with," Chakotay 2 said. The viewscreen changed to show Third Voyager.

"We can't let them go back, they'll corrupt their dimension with too much Seven once again," Tom said.

"But that's got nothing to do with us. Besides I don't want that Voyager in this Dimension either," Kathryn said.

"Damn, I just wanted to sound heroic, that's all," Tom said.

"He had a point though, if we don't do anything, nothing will happen in this episode," Harry said.

"Oh great, this episode is sounding like our version of 'Hunters' already," Chakotay said.

"Ok, we do something. But what?" Kathryn asked.

"Well for starters we could figure out how they got here in the first place," Chakotay said.

"What good will that do?" Kathryn asked.

"I dunno, I just suggested it," Chakotay replied.

"Please don't tell me that this is another episode without a plot," Tom moaned.

"Yep," Firera's hyper voice said from nowhere.

"We're just making it up as we go along," Marill's voice said.

"Crap, is it just me or are you two sobering up, why don't you read my Magazine interviews again," Vulpix's voice said.

Everyone looked at each other all confused.

"Great, this one's going to be fun," Harry muttered.

Meanwhile, on Third Voyager:
Chakotay and Seven were talking on the Bridge, while all the unknown crewmembers were working. One console blew up, killing the crewmember working there. Somebody picked him up and dumped him on the huge pile of dead crewmembers.

"If we add their names to the new intro credits, then they won't die as much," Chakotay said.

"Maybe, but they might end up stealing my screen time," Seven said.

"Oh my god, we can't have that, I'd lose my screen time as well," Chakotay said.

A crewmember walked up to Seven and Chakotay. "Er, Commander, the pile's starting to hit the ceiling."

"We're running out of room, there's nowhere we can put them," Chakotay said.

"I know, lets put them on the other Voyager," Annika said.

"Great idea, honeymuffin. They're not really that important," Chakotay said.

"Thanks honeycakes," Seven said.

The crewmember rolled her eyes in disgust. "C/7 really makes me puke," she said. A console blew up next to her, and she was killed instantly.

Fifth Voyager, the Mess Hall:
Emma was sitting at one of the tables, fiddling with a hypospray. She quickly hid it in her pocket when she heard someone come up behind her.

"Ok, will you explain to me what was that scene in Sickbay about?" Jessie asked. Emma turned her head to look up at her.

"I'm learning how to be a Doctor," Emma replied.

"You? Don't lie. Everyone around here knows how to work a bloody hypospray. So why did you use one on me?" Jessie asked.

"I felt like it," Emma replied.

"What was in it then?" Jessie asked.

"Nothing," Emma replied.

Jessie sighed. "I felt something, you either injected me with something, or you took something out of me."

"Ok, if you really wanna know, I took out some of your blood," Emma said. She pulled the hypospray back out, and she waved it around. "Wanna see it?"

Jessie went a bit pale. "No, not really."

"I think I might keep it. Nobody would believe me if I said that I did this intentionally, so I'll just say that I stole it from the Doc and I don't know who it belongs to," Emma said.

"Why the hell do you want to keep my blood for?" Jessie asked.

Emma shrugged her shoulders. "To freak people like you out, I guess."

Jessie rolled her eyes. "Well I'll tell Jones that, shall I."

"If he comes near me, I'll scream," Emma muttered.

"Still freaked out from earlier, huh?" Jessie said questioningly.

"Er.. no," Emma said.

"Yes you are," Jessie said.

"Oh go away, or I'll make you look inside the hypospray," Emma said and she held the hypospray out. Jessie tried to snatch it off her, but Emma kept a tight hold of it. The two played a bit of tug of war for a minute or so before Emma finally got the hypospray back.

"That's it, I'm setting Jones onto you," Jessie said, and she stormed off.

"No, anything but Mr Swimming Costume Man!" Emma screamed after her. Everyone stared at her with the same bemused looks on their faces. "And you lot can all bog off!"

Somewhere on Voyager:
The writers, for this episode, appeared in the middle of an empty corridor.

"Why the hell have you brought us here, Vulpix?" Marill asked.

"I'm not claustrophobic, but I still feel bloody cramped in that room of yours. How the hell are five of us going to write the cliffhanger in there?" Vulpix replied.

"Good question," Marill muttered.

"Just do what we did last time, write it somewhere else on paper," Firera said.

"We only did that for the second part of Thrown Key," Marill said.

"Yeah, you had about two different versions of it," Firera said.

Marill shrugged. "Whatever."

"Is it just me or does this corridor feel wrong?" Vulpix asked.

"It's just you, the coffee must be getting to you already," Marill replied.

"No, she's right," Firera muttered.

The three writers heard people come up behind them. They turned around to see two old men.

"What are you doing here?" Marill asked.

"Yeah, this is our fanfiction series. You're not suppose to be here," Firera said. The two old men walked closer to the three girls.

"Oh really?" one old man said. He grabbed a hold of Firera, and he managed to throw her against the wall. The other man did the same to Marill, but she crashed into Vulpix, knocking her to the ground.

"Hey, who do you think you are picking on young girls. And secondly, where did you get the muscles?" Vulpix said in a bold voice.

"I thought I'd have the misfortune to run into you again," one old man said.

"We don't know either of you," Firera said.

"Maybe you'll remember our motto, prepare for trouble," the first old man said.

"Make it double," the second old man said.

"To infect Voyager with devastation," old man 1 said.

"To give the crew to evil nations," old man 2 said.

"To announce the goodness of truth and love," old man 1 said.

"To destroy other Star Trek sites," old man 2 said.

The two old men seemed to pull their faces off, but they were only masks. Once off, the writers recognised them.

"Brannon Braga."

"Rick Berman."

"Third Voyager's circling the Quadrant all day and night!" Brannon said, as he threw his old man clothes off to reveal his ordinary clothes. Rick did the same.

"Surrender to us now or you'll surely lose the fight!" Rick said.

"I've just noticed that motto makes no sense whatsoever," Vulpix muttered.

"What is Berman and Bragger doing on this ship?" Firera asked.

"It's Braga, can't you get anything right?" Brannon said angrily.

"Now we have to make sure you don't get in our way," Rick said.

The Bridge:
"Captain, I'm detecting some transporter activity," Harry said.

"How's that possible, our shields are up?" Kathryn asked.

"Not anymore, they've just disappeared," Tuvok replied.

"How?" Chakotay asked.

"I think it was Third Voyager who's responsible. Lots of dead crewmembers have been beamed to our morgue," Harry replied.

"Why on earth would they do that?" Kathryn asked. Nobody had an answer to that question.

"Captain, another dimensional distortion's just appeared," Tuvok said.

"Oh great, what is it this time?" Kathryn muttered.

The viewscreen changed to show another Voyager come through a different dimensional portal.

"We're being hailed," Tuvok said.

"On screen," Kathryn sighed.

The viewscreen came on, and everyone groaned at the same time.

"Not again," everyone moaned as they faced the Pokémon/Voyager crossover crew.

"I'm Captain Ash Ketchum, the world's best Captaining master. I challenge you to a match," Ash said.

"I wish you would stop doing that, Ash," Brock muttered.

"Don't they want to battle me?" Ash moaned.

Misty smacked Ash with her mallet. "First Officer Misty, the world's greatest Water Pokémon trainer here."

"Great, would someone care to explain how Pokémon characters got in charge of a Voyager," Kathryn said as she looked around the Bridge.

"Maybe somebody wrote a fanfic where Pokémon characters were in charge of Voyager," Tom said, stating the obvious.

Suddenly a Wobbuffet (just in case you don't know, its a Pokémon that looks like a blob) appeared on the screen, really close up. "Wobbuffffffeeeeeet!" it yelled, causing everyone to crap themselves, not literally.

"Wobbuffet, get out of the way of the viewscreen, those people won't be able to see me," Misty's voice moaned.

The Wobbuffet suddenly got hit on the head by a mallet, and it fell to the ground. "Who told you to come out of your ball," Pokémon's Jessie said.

"Can someone shut that thing off before I get a headache," Kathryn said.

"Hang on a second, maybe these guys can help us with our Third Voyager problem," Tom said.

"You mean they can annoy their crew to death?" Kathryn said hopefully.

"No, but that can be backup if my plan doesn't work. All we have to do is.." Tom said, the rest was unheard whispers.

Third Voyager, the Brig:
The writers were behind a force field, but they were tied up as well.

"I can't stand that Braga," Marill muttered.

"I guess they've got a really good scheme going though," Firera said.

"Er, line?" Vulpix said. Somebody passed her the 'Fortune Hunters' dub script. "Why do we have to skit this Pokémon episode for, I like it?"

"Exactly, we're skitting it cos we like it. Now say you're lines, and free us," Firera said.

"But, there's no way that Pokémon's James could break those damn ropes," Vulpix said.

"So?" Firera and Marill said in annoyed voices.

"You expect me to be able to do it?" Vulpix asked.

"Yeah, it's in the script," Firera said.

"Ok, I'll say my line. Ahem, fear not. Er.." Vulpix said, and she looked at the script again. "We can't have the Moltres speech guys."

The two younger girls groaned. "Just break us out, the 'fear not' line's good enough," Marill muttered.

Vulpix sighed. She tried to push against the ropes, but nothing happened. "Crap, this is so embarrassing. This just shows a Pokémon character is stronger than I am," Vulpix muttered.

"Speak of the devil," Marill said in a shocked voice. The writers looked towards the door, Team Rocket were standing at the door.

"Prepare for trouble," Jessie (P) said.

"And make it double," James (P) said.

Somebody pressed the fast forward button and they pressed play near the end of the motto.

"Surrender now or prepare to fight fight fight, fight!" James (P) yelled, while holding a red rose.

Wobbuffet appeared in front of the pair, and yelled, "wobbuffeeet!"

Meowth jumped onto it's head and tried to push it down. "Why do you have to keep stealing my line, get your own!" he yelled.

"How many times can you say fight in that one sentence?" Vulpix asked. Marill and Firera glanced at her oddly. "I've been wanting to ask him that for ages."

"Don't get him started, he can say it ten times," Jessie (P) replied.

"Wow, that would just get plain annoying," Marill muttered.

"What are you guys doing here anyway?" Firera asked.

Jessie and James looked at each, and they just shrugged. "I dunno," they both said.

"Wobba!" Wobbuffet yelled.

"Who cares, just get us out of here," Vulpix said.

"Can't you snap the ropes?" James (P) asked.

Vulpix looked nervous. "Yeah, I just can't be bothered," she said. Marill and Firera rolled their eyes.

"Ok, we'll just blow up this forcefield console, and then we get one of our machines...." Jessie (P) said. As she did so Meowth and James (P) just went over to deactivate the forcefield, and then untied the writers. They finished just in time for Jessie (P) to finish her speech.

"Done," James (P) and Meowth said.

Jessie (P) looked around all confused, then she got angry. She pulled out a mallet and she smacked Meowth and James (P) with it.

"Shouldn't we get back, if we don't the story will just go on on it's own, without a plot or anything," Firera asked.

"No change there then," Marill said.

"Good point," Firera said.

"Besides we cant go back. Those two idiots stole our notepad," Vulpix said.

"I really hate them," Marill growled.

"I think a lot of people do," Vulpix said.

"Well I suggest we get back to Fifth Voyager, this place really creeps me out," Firera said.

"It looks exactly the same as our Voyager, and yours," Jessie (P) pointed out.

"Yeah, and?" Firera asked.

Everyone groaned, and they all left the room.

Fifth Voyager, the Conference Room:
"Why oh why did we have to be in a series written by Pokémon fans, why!" Kathryn cried as she neared a breakdown.

The main cast, Ash, Misty, Tracey and Pikachu watched with interest. Brock just kept watching different girls with interest.

"So many girls, head rush, ooh, who to choose," Brock muttered.

"Wow, a coffee cup, I've gotta sketch this," Tracey said as he got a sketchbook out of nowhere.

Chakotay patted Kathryn on her back. "Calm down, they're not that bad."

Ash banged his fist on the table. "I challenge everyone in here to a Pokémon match!"

Lena growled and she stood up. "I'll battle you, for crying out loud!"

Ash jumped out of his seat. "Yey, lets battle in here!"

Brock also jumped up and he rushed over to Lena. He took her hand. "You truly are a vision of beauty. Red hair, nice choice."

Lena narrowed her eyes and she threw Brock to the other side of the room. "Lets get on with it, shall we twerp?"

"Yeaaah!" Ash yelled in a hyper voice.

"Ash, I told you to take those anti-hyper tablets before dinner, why didn't you?" Misty asked.

Ash tried to ignore her. He and Lena went over to a clear part of the room.

"I choose you, Chikorita!" Ash yelled as he threw a Pokéball.

"Come battle, Charizard," Lena said with an evil glint in her eyes.

Ash nearly crapped himself. "That's not fair."

"It is, you did it to a rookie trainer. Ok, Flamethrower!" Lena yelled. Charizard fried Chikorita. "Well, that was fun."

"Can we please get back to the original discussion," Kathryn said in an attempted calm voice.

Lena and Ash rushed back to their seats. Brock slowly went back to his, he had a small concussion after his flying lesson.

"Tom has a plan that'll spare us from Third Voyager, and spare the Third Dimension from seeing more Seven in an eighth season of Voyager. Tom, tell everyone, and it better be good," Kathryn said.

Tom stood up. "Okeydokey." He walked over to the wall panel, like people usually do when explaining things. "Right, here's my really good plan. It may not be easy to understand, so I will repeat for those who don't."

"Just get on with it," Chakotay said.

"Ok, here goes. We destroy Third Voyager," Tom said.

Everyone looked at him with blank expressions.

"I knew nobody would understand, do you want me to explain it again?" Tom asked.

"Is that all? Anybody could of come up with that," Chakotay said.

"Obviously nobody did, well I did," Tom said.

"I don't get it, what's going on?" Ash asked.

"How did he get in command?" Triah asked.

"We had a tournament, he won," Misty replied.

"Typical," everyone muttered.

"So all we have to do is blow up that ship. How do you plan to do that. All Voyagers have the same weapons and shields, there is an even chance that we win, but there's the same chance that we'll lose," Harry said.

"You're not doing your maths properly, Harry. We have two Voyagers, and they only have one," Tom said.

"Yeah but you're forgetting one thing. That Voyager can't be destroyed, only it's writers can do that, and they won't let it happen before the eighth season even begins," Lilly pointed out.

"She's got a good point," Harry said.

"But it's in our Dimension, our writers control that, and if there's no other way to get rid of Third Voyager then they'll let it blow up," Tom said.

"Not when Brannon and co have control of Third Voyager, how many times do I have to tell you," Lilly said.

"It makes sense. We were only able to destroy Seventh Voyager when Damien was infected with something that Emma injected into him. He wouldn't of had the ability to do anything," Chakotay said. Emma grinned innocently at him.

"So much for my plan," Tom muttered.

"Maybe we should find the original guys in charge, maybe if we get rid of them, Third Voyager will be destroyed like any old foe we encounter," Lena said.

"But how are we going to find them?" Chakotay asked.

Third Voyager:
"I can't figure out where we are. I think everything's in a completely different place to where they are on our Voyager," Vulpix muttered as she looked at a wall panel.

"I say we blow something up," Jessie (P) said.

"Or dig a hole," Meowth said.

"Or eat?" James (P) said. Meowth jumped up and scratched him in the face. "Ow, what was that for?"

"We can't eat now, we'll be caught," Meowth said.

"I've found Braga and Berman, they're on the deck below us," Vulpix said happily.

"Great, lets get going," Marill said. Everyone headed towards the turbolift. Firera stopped.

"Er, guys. What's the plan?" Firera asked.

The others stopped.

"A sneak attack?" Jessie (P) suggested.

"A hole?" Meowth suggested.

"A donut?" James (P) suggested. Jessie (P) smacked him with a fan.

"Chain-saws?" Marill suggested.

"Wobba!" Wobbuffet said.

"A feather duster?" Vulpix suggested. Everyone glanced at her oddly. "What, I was only kidding."

Firera sighed. "Are we just going to barge in there without a plan?"

"So it would seem, I can't think of anything," Marill replied.

"Weren't we skitting Fortune Hunters?" Vulpix asked.

"Fortune Hunters, of course. We can freak those two out as a distraction," Marill said.

"I don't get it," James (P) said.

"You will," Marill said and she giggled in a hyper way. Team Rocket looked rather nervous.

The deck below them, ten minutes later:
Rick and Brannon were talking to some other Voyager writers via a small viewscreen.

"How is the episode listing?" Brannon asked.

"We've got seventeen Seven episodes, four Doctor episodes, and every episode has C/7 material," one writer replied.

"Brilliant," Rick said.

"No, we need more Seven episodes, twenty one episodes isn't enough for the series. We need six more, Seven oriented ones that is," Brannon said.

"We're on it," the writer said. The viewscreen switched off. There was an explosion behind Rick and Brannon. They turned around as smoke took over the room. They saw three figures in the smoke.

"Prepare for insanity," Marill's voice said.

"And make that over the top," Vulpix's voice said.

The smoke cleared to reveal Marill, Firera and Vulpix.

"To corrupt Voyager with our twisted imaginations," Marill said.

"To annoy people with long teasers, and silly endings," Firera said.

"To announce the evils of Seven and Cherry Coke," Vulpix said.

"To extend Fifth Voyager to higher things," Firera said.




"Fifth Voyager brings on the insanity at the speed of light," Marill said.

"Cause Fifth Voyager trouble and prepare to be beaten," Firera said.

Two Wobbuffet's popped up in front of them. "Wobbbufffet!"

Vulpix sighed, and she recalled hers that was doing an impression of Janeway again.

"What are you lot doing here?" Rick asked.

"Back for more abuse," Brannon sniggered.

"We're here to kick your sorry butts," Vulpix said.

"Yeah, the viewers had it bad with all the Seven and Doctor's episodes in Season Seven. They shouldn't have to suffer with an eighth season," Firera said.

"They're the only interesting characters. Seven's quest for Humanity, and the Doctor's quest to become a respected individual still needs to be explored," Brannon said.

"Don't you think we've seen enough?" Marill asked.

"Yeah, Voyager's about the whole cast. And what was the point in Chakotay and Seven getting together at the last second, to quieten Robert Beltran?" Firera asked.

"Enough, you are merely fans, and your opinion doesn't count," Brannon replied.

"Oh yeah, well lets see what your opinion is of this," Marill said.

Right on cue there was another explosion that blew a large hole in the wall. A crane looking thing came in through there. Jessie (P) and Meowth were driving it while James (P), dressed in a silly fire-bird costume (don't ask, it's in Fortune Hunters), was attached to the crane to make it look like he was floating in the air.

"Behold, the return of James the, ahem, Mighty Moltres!" Vulpix yelled while trying not to laugh. At this point the sanity wall crumbles and this episode officially turns dodgy.

Brannon and Rick took one look at James (P) and they cracked up. They fell onto the floor laughing their heads off.

"Hey, you didn't say anything about them laughing" James (P) said.

All he got for a response was the sound of the writers laughing their heads off as well. Jessie (P) and Meowth also joined in. James (P) tried to ignore them and he tapped the commbadge somebody gave him.

"Er, James to Fifth Voyager?" he said questioningly.

In: "Oh god, what's next."

In: "Chakotay here."

"Erm, I'm suppose to tell you when to attack Third Voyager, so I thought now would be a good time," James (P) muttered.

In: "Wow, at least that James can think."

In: "Hey! Shut up Tom or I'll break your nose!"

In: "Why did you think it was a good time?"

"The original writers are in a laughing fit," James (P) replied.

In: "Erm, that'll do. How did you guys do that?"

"Er.. I'm not going to say," James (P) replied.

Fifth Voyager:
"Well Tuvok, contact the other Voyager and tell them to attack. And then fire everything we've got," Kathryn commanded.

"Aye Captain," Tuvok responded.

Pokémon Voyager:
"Can I join that Voyager, there was lots of hot girls there?" Brock asked.

Brock's reply was Misty pulling his ear hard.

"Wow, a spider. I think I'll sketch it," Tracey said.

Misty screamed and she jumped onto Brock.

"Where's the spider, get it away!" Misty screeched.

Tracey looked at Misty, who was on the other side of the Bridge to him.

"Right the way over here," Tracey said.

"Woah, what Pokémon is that?" Ash asked as he whipped out his pocket machine, and pointed it at the computer next to the command chair.

"For the third time this week, it's your bloody computer," Brock replied once Misty got off him.

"Wow, I've gotta catch it!" Ash exclaimed, and he threw a Pokéball at the computer. The Pokéball broke on impact. "Oops."

Tracey's station bleeped. "We're being contacted by that other Voyager."

"The insane one?" Brock asked.

"They're both insane," Tracey replied.

"I meant the one we're teamed up with," Brock said angrily.

"Oh, the one that's got insane writers too. Yeah, that's the one that's contacting us," Tracey said.

"What's the message?" Brock asked.

"Fire. Woah, I wonder what that means," Tracey said.

"That's my job, so get back to drawing dumba**," Brock said.

"Ok," Tracey said happily and he started to sketch his station.

"Woah, what Pokémon's that?" Ash asked as he pointed his machine at Misty.

"That is not a Pokémon, you stupid idiotic boy," the machine said.

Misty literally grew fangs and she punched Ash in the face.

Fifth Voyager:
The Bridge shook violently as another torpedo grazed the hull.

"Status?" Kathryn said.

"We've only had two deaths, the other Voyager has had twenty. Mainly because they only have three main characters, and that means more guest stars that always get killed off," Tuvok said.

"Good, keep firing," Kathryn commanded.

"Aye Captain," Tuvok responded.

Third Voyager:
The Bridge was full of dead crewmembers. Chakotay tried to step over them as he went to sit in his chair.

"How come they keep dying, this place is starting to smell," Chakotay asked.

"Well it's the only way to explain why they don't appear in any other episodes," Seven replied.

"Then they should appear in other episodes, this is getting really annoying!" Chakotay yelled as another crewmember got blown up.

"Well look on the bright side, we'll be the only ones left when we run out of them," Seven said, and she winked at Chakotay.

"What about the Doctor?" Chakotay asked.

"We can delete him," Seven replied, and she walked over to Chakotay. He stood up from his chair.

The rest of the guest stars felt sick when the two started kissing, and they went to commit suicide, some died on the way.

Marill, Firera, Vulpix, Jessie (P) and Meowth finally stopped laughing, but Brannon and Rick were still in hysterics.

"Wow, it's not that funny," Marill muttered.

"Can somebody let me down?" James (P) asked.

"No," everyone who wasn't laughing replied.

Everyone watched as Rick and Brannon laughed until they couldn't breath. They obviously died. Everyone on the ground hi-fived each other. The crane let James (P) down, and Jessie & Meowth joined him there.

"I think we should get going before we die too," Vulpix said. She and the others rushed out of the room.

Fifth Voyager:
"Their shields are down," Tuvok said.

"Aim for the warp core," Kathryn ordered.

"Aye Captain," Tuvok responded.

"Wait, somebody's just transported over to this Voyager," Harry said.

"Who?" Chakotay asked.

"Damn, the writers, and four of the Pokémon crewmembers," Harry replied.

"Is it safe to fire now?" Kathryn asked.

"I think so," Harry replied.

"Fire!" Kathryn commanded. Tuvok nodded in response.

"Tom, get us out of here now," Chakotay commanded.

"Warn the Pokémon Voyager, as much as I would like them to die, I can't let them," Kathryn said.

"Besides, we'd be stuck with four of them if we did let them die," Jessie said.

Everyone agreed.

Both Voyagers took off and went into warp. Not long afterwards Third Voyager blew up, creating a shockwave.

Kathryn sat back in her chair and she folded her arms. "Another job well done."

"Yeah, no more Seven," Tom said. Everyone sighed in relief.

Pokémon Voyager:
"Ash! Would you stop trying to catch me! I'm not a bloody Pokémon!" Misty screeched.

Ash got ready to throw the same Pokéball again. "This one is tough, but I'll catch it eventually."

"Wow a door, I gotta sketch this," Tracey said. Brock groaned, and he shot him.

"That's what you get for replacing me, moron!" he growled. He sat in the nearest chair and watched as Misty beat the crap out of Ash.

Team Rocket came onto the Bridge. James nearly tripped over Tracey's dead body. Jessie actually did, and she landed on him.

"Eeew, get him away from me!" Jessie screeched as she pulled herself to her feet and jumped into James' arms. Everyone who wasn't fighting or getting beaten up laughed at her.

"Forget about that twerp, we need to capture the Captain's Pikachu and the First Officer's Togepi while they're distracted," Meowth said. Pikachu and Togepi overheard. Togepi suddenly pulled out a laser gun and he aimed it at Team Rocket.

"Woah, dat things crazy!" Meowth yelled.

Togepi fired the laser, and it hit the door. The blast sent Team Rocket flying.

"We're blasting off again!" Jessie and James yelled as they were 'blasted' into the turbolift. Meowth was 'blasted' onto the Tactical station. He accidentally pressed some buttons on impact and he beamed away, nobody noticed.

Misty went over to Togepi and she cradled the baby Pokémon in her arms. "Aw, did Team Rocket scare you honey?"

Everyone stared at her in total shock. "That thing nearly killed them!" Brock muttered.

Misty giggled. "Togepi's only an innocent baby, Brock."

Togepi glared evilly at Brock, who cringed. "Yeah, well erm, where's Ash?"

Misty pointed to the ground. Ash had been beaten to a bloody pulp, oh and did I mention that he was dead? Didn't think so.

"You two are as bad as each other," Brock muttered. Misty lunged at him and started beating him up too.

Fifth Voyager, outside Jessie/James' Quarters:
Jessie, James and Duncan were just about to walk into their quarters when Duncan nearly tripped over something. He picked it up and he showed it to Jessie and James.

"Where am I?" Meowth asked in a dazed voice.

Duncan started throwing Meowth up and down like a toy. "Yey, a cute kitty. Can I keep him?"

Jessie and James glanced at each other, and they both groaned. All they heard was Meowth screaming.

"Get this brat off me, it's pulling my charm off!" Meowth screamed as Duncan tugged on the gold charm on his head.

Wobbuffet appeared out of nowhere. "Wobbufffeet!" it yelled. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at it.

"Oh great, that other Voyager's gone and we're stuck with two of their Pokémon," James muttered.

"Wobba, wobbuffeet!" Wobbuffet yelled, and it hugged Jessie.

"Eew, what is this thing anyway?" Jessie moaned as she pushed the loveable Wobbuffet away from her.

"It says Wobbuffet, so it must be called Wobbuffet," James said.

"Aaahh, I don't want to be charmless, get this brat off me!" Meowth yelled.

Jessie and James sighed. It was going to be one of those days.

Emma's Quarters:
Emma looked at the hypospray she had been keeping in her pocket. She had the strangest of urges to inject herself with it. She shrugged her shoulders, and she did so.

The Bridge, the next day:
"Captain, we're receiving a subspace transmission," Harry said.

Kathryn looked Harry's way. "From who?" she asked.

"It's a Federation signature," Harry replied.

"Put it on screen," Kathryn commanded.

The viewscreen changed to show Seventh Voyager Lena.

"Hi Voyager, listen up. I've just visited your home and let me tell you it's really nice. You should hurry up and get there, you'll love the way it's turned out," Lena said. She smiled, with an evil glint in her eye. "Oh, and by the way, Damien told me to send you a message. He's got a lovely little surprise for you, and he can't wait until you find out what it is. Have a nice trip home." She laughed, and the viewscreen changed back.

"What was that all about?" Harry asked.

"I have no idea, where about's did the message come from?" Kathryn asked.

"Not far, I estimate it will take one and a half months to get to her position," Harry replied.

"Tom, set a course," Kathryn commanded.

"Captain?" Tom said questioningly.

"There must be something there that could allow her to reach the Alpha Quadrant. I say we should check it out," Kathryn said.

Tom nodded. "Yes ma'am."            

What is Damien planning? Will we find out what's so interesting back home? Will we see the Pokémon crew again? What actually happened in this Fortune Hunters episode? And why is this episode so short?
Find out the answers to maybe some of these questions next time on Fifth Voyager.


****THE END****

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