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Amongst the vastness of the Borg ship a familiar voice echoed through the halls. The thousands of drones continued on with their business without even noticing or caring.
"I told you, didn't I tell you?"
Tuvok did not know what to say for the best, instead he decided to follow his Captain in silence.
"You people have no imagination, that's what's wrong," Kathryn rambled.
"Where are we headed?" Tuvok decided to ask.
"Grid nine two of subjunction twelve, where we'll be working," Kathryn said with a roll of her eyes.
The pair entered a large circular room, the two drones stood to attention at the two doorways.
"You have entered Grid Nine Two of Subjunction Twelve, proceed."
Kathryn attached her Death Glare face, "say pretty please first."
Tuvok raised an eyebrow, he decided to take over for both their sakes. "We have analysed the alien's physiology while trying to treat one of our crewmen. With a slight modification, your own nanoprobes will be able to attach to..." One of the drones lunged forward to grab him.
"We will begin."
The other went to grab Kathryn as well, she turned around to grab him by the throat. "Don't even think about it, buster!"
He whimpered a little, and took a step back. The Collective let out a quiet sigh. By this time poor Tuvok was kneeling on the ground, getting an implant placed into his neck.
Kathryn tapped her commbadge, "Janeway to Voyager. Initiate auto destruct sequence..."
"You couldn't even say hi first?" Tom's voice stuttered.
"Authorisation Janeway Pi, One One Zero, ten minutes," Kathryn said with a devious look on her face. "In that time you'll have lost your only chance to kill your enemy, and since we're following you, will do extensive damage to your stupid Cube. Your move."
"State your proposal."
"Oh I don't know, not sticking things into us is a good start. I may extend the auto destruct a minute longer if you do," Kathryn grumbled.
"Captain," Tuvok warned.
"Is this really how we're going to go, I knew it," Harry said.
"Shush you big space waster!" Kathryn snapped.
"A neuro-transceiver is required for maximum communication. We will work as one mind."
"Janeway hooked up to the Borg, telling them what to do. We're screwed," James' voice commented.
"Yep, I'm thankful for that lovely auto destruct," Tom added on. Chakotay's voice just groaned.
Kathryn put her hands on her hips, even Tuvok looked nervous as he knew that meant more trouble. "Assimilate us and I'll auto destruct the lot of you. You won't be able to switch Voyager's off either. James do something useful for once and change the Command codes!"
"I could do that," Chakotay muttered.
"Whatever, I don't care," Kathryn grumbled. "We'll stay individual and we'll do it my way or the blow everything up way."
"Isn't that the same thing?" Tom asked.
"Captain Blowupeverythingway, yeah that works," James said.
"Don't make me smack both of your asses!" Kathryn snapped.
"You must comply."
"You don't think I'll do that to you too!" Kathryn grumbled. "Every single one of you! Just pick a representative like you did with Locutus or face oblivion."
The drone holding Tuvok roughly pulled him back up to his feet, taking the implant out afterwards.
Another door in the room opened vertically. A cloud of smoke burst out from underneath it. The team glanced toward it. As the smoke cleared, a huge chested female drone stepped out of one of the regeneration units.
Kathryn stepped forward to stand mostly in front of Tuvok, her eyes wider than usual.
"I speak for the Borg," the drone announced.
"What is this? How on earth did you mix up pick a representative with give us a hooker?" Kathryn snapped.
"Um, can we get that self destruct cancelled yet?" Chakotay asked.
"I'm not so sure yet," Kathryn's eyes narrowed. She tapped her commbadge anyway.
on the bridge:
Chakotay paced back and forth, sighing each time the computer would warn them they were going to die.
"Chakotay to Janeway?"
"Relax," James said from Tactical. Chakotay spun around on his heel to glare at him. He was about to speak when the computer spoke again.
"Self destruct sequence, deactivated."
"I just did what she asked, with a twist," James said with a smile.
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Harry grinned at him like he was going to go for a hug.
"What are the command codes now?" Chakotay asked him as he made his way over.
"Something she'd never guess," James replied once the Commander reached his station.
Tom frowned, "Janeway Decaf, One Forty Seven?"
"Close," James replied. "I haven't changed yours anyway."
Chakotay nodded, "yes I know, but maybe somebody should know hers. Just in case."
"Yeah, me," James said with a raised eyebrow.
"Reassuring," Chakotay groaned. "Stop that, you're no Tuvok."
"Thank you," James smiled.
"Phew, you saved our hides, at least you're good for something," Tom commented.
James frowned at him, his eyebrow still raised. "Meaning wha..." He was interrupted by something flying into contact with Tom's face.
"Ow, Hey!" he whined, rubbing his sore forehead. He looked down to see what hit him, at his feet lay a tricorder.
"God, some things never change," a familiar voice spoke from the turbolift near Tactical. Everyone turned around to see.
"Oh, she's alive, and there's two of her," Tom mumbled, blinking more than usual. "Probably seeing double."
James moved away from his station. "Jess? I thought..."
"I didn't want to miss anymore of the fun," Jessie said with a sigh. She changed her glance to Chakotay, "reporting for duty."
"Sure," he said. "We'll need your expertise."
"What experti..." Tom stuttered. Jessie pulled a tricorder from behind her, raised it to eye level and smiled deviously. "Oh."
"Now more than ever," Chakotay muttered. He moved away from Tactical, "if she isn't already, get her up to speed James. Just don't lose your eye on the weapons and shields."
Tom glanced over to the empty Science Station again, "damn. It's like a dirty joke-less void."
James and Jessie looked at each other briefly, and awkwardly. He then started to explain what had been happening.
Tom looked on with interest, ignoring the bruise on his head. "Is it just me or did it get colder in here? Marriage mustn't be going well." Despite the pair he was talking about's lack of attention on him, a tricorder still managed to fly directly into his face. This time it knocked him flying out of his chair.
"Hey!" Jessie whined, glancing at her now tricorder-less hand. James could only shrug in response.
"Wow Tom, Lemmings learn quicker than you," Harry commented. He didn't notice the second tricorder had knocked him unconscious.
Kathryn blinked a few times, her eyes flashing brilliant blue. "I beg your pardon?"
The big busted drone stared blankly, blinking a few times herself. "Coffee is irrelevant."
"No, those are!" Kathryn grumbled, pointing at the drone's chest. She fixed her death stare on the drone, expecting to see her dissolve before her. Instead the drone just stared back, her one eye looking like it would fall out at any moment. "Get, me, a, coffee, missy!" she said as slowly as possible, poking the drone above her massive chest.
Tuvok thought it would be a good idea to say something. "Captain, the alliance?"
Kathryn didn't even give him the honour of moving her stare at him. She just raised her right hand and shushed him.
"My designation is not Missy. I am Seven of Nine, tertiary adjunct of Unimatrix Zero One," the drone said blankly. "You may call me Seven of Nine."
"I'll call you Piece of Sh..." Kathryn grumbled.
Tuvok quickly interrupted her, "we could encase the nanoprobes in some of our photon torpedoes. In essence, turn them into bio molecular warheads."
The drone turned to stare at him, "your torpedoes are inadequate. They lack the necessary range and dispersive force."
Kathryn rolled up her sleeves, "now what did I say about wasting torpedoes, Mr Tuvok? Do it and I'll pull those pointy little ears off!" Tuvok stepped out of her arm range, raising his eyebrow.
"Perhaps a command officer who is not under the influence of body chemistry would be more efficient," Seven of Nine said.
"Just wait till we're alone," Kathryn hissed at her as she backed off a little.
"We are never alone," Seven of Nine blankly retorted.
Tuvok raised his other eyebrow, "what do you suggest instead of the torpedoes."
Without a word Seven of Nine made her way out of the room, down the corridor and into another one. Tuvok followed her. At one of the computer panels the drone brought up a schematic for what looked like a warhead. "A multikinetic neutronic mine. Five million isoton yield."
"An explosion that size could affect an entire star system," Tuvok pointed out.
"Correct. The shock wave will disperse the nanoprobes over a radius of five light years," Seven of Nine responded.
Kathryn caught up with them. "As long as it'll only nuke your planets and you, I'm all for it."
"We'd need approximately fifty trillion nanoprobes to arm this mine, that would take weeks," Tuvok saved the day. "It would not be an efficient strategy."
Seven of Nine looked at him in what appeared to be admiration. "Indeed. What do you suggest?"
"Load you up with the nanoprobes, and offer you to them," Kathryn grumbled. The other two stared blankly at her. "No you're right, that's an awful idea. Why would they want you? Silly Kathryn."
"If we create smaller weapons using our photon torpedoes, destroy a few of their ships, it may deter them enough to give up their attack on this quadrant," Tuvok replied.
Seven of Nine stared into space, her eyes gazing over. "We accept." She looked back down to work on the computer, "Voyager's weapon infantry. Photon torpedo complement thirty-two, class six warhead. Explosive yield two hundred isotons."
"We have that many left? Obviously Forty of Triple D doesn't know how to use a computer," Kathryn muttered.
Tuvok continued to ignore her, instantly in his Security mode. "How did you obtain this information?"
Seven of Nine looked at him, "we are Borg."
The Doctor smiled at his handiwork, humming one of his opera tunes to himself. Lucky for Craig he was unconscious, this time looking a lot less alien.
Kes stepped walked back to stand side by side with James. "He'll be fine now. There should be one last injection." He could only sigh in response. "It's not your fault."
"No, I blame Chakotay," James commented.
Kes frowned at him, "him, why?" He looked at her with a smirk. "I wouldn't."
"All right, him and Janeway," James said.
"There's more to it than that. They've not done anything," Kes muttered. "In regards to this baby I mean."
"Figured," James sighed. He turned to face her. "Somebody spike the coffee, um was there a possession case I missed, what?"
"I don't know," Kes replied, her eyes clearly giving away a different answer. James frowned at her as he spotted it. "Trust me, this baby came out of nowhere." Looking back at him she noticed his eyes fall to the ground, his shoulders tensed slightly. "What?"
He looked back at her, "what, what?"
Kes sighed, "never mind. Even if there wasn't a baby, we would still be here in this mess."
"True, but I doubt Janeway would be nuts enough to think of a plan like this," James said.
Kes smirked at him, "are you so sure about that?"
The Doctor walked over to the pair, with the biggest smile planted on his face. "Ah Kes, Mr Anderson has responded well to the injection." He handed her the medicine tray he was carrying, "can you prepare the hyposprays while I go and create more of the little fellas?"
"No problem, Doctor," Kes smiled back at him. Tray in hand, she walked through the office and into the back room.
"I wouldn't worry, he's in excellent hands," the Doctor beamed. He began work at the middle station.
James glanced over at him with a frown. "He shouldn't have been there."
This took the smile off the holograms face. "I have no doubt. I'm sure Mr Tuvok knew what he was doing."
"Sure," James said, sarcasm in his tone. "Tuvok was in a hurry cos of Queen Janeway with her spawn, yelling at him over the comm."
"You know the Commander cannot experience fear, even if the Captain is giving him grief," the Doctor said seriously. A grin returned to his face, "though she does have that effect, doesn't she?"
"The kid is who I feel sorry for," James said. He turned on his heel to look straight at the Doctor. "Surely you could do something. Sedate her or something. I thought about chucking her in her quarters, and barricading the door."
"Now who's the crazy one," the Doctor commented in jest. "You're really being too hard on her. Pregnancy can really screw around with a woman's hormones, no doubt she'll be mortified once it's over. You'll know what I mean if you..."
"No!" James butted in, catching the Doctor off guard.
"I wasn't going to say if you got pregnant, my sense of humour is a lot more sophisticated," he said.
"I know, more or less. Just no," James mumbled. He turned around to leave. "Can you let me know when he's all right?"
"Sure," the Doctor frowned. "I'm sure he'll be glad to know he has a friend like you looking out for him, hmm?"
James looked over his shoulder, "we're not friends."
"Then why are you here?" the Doctor asked, clearly confused.
"Can't I just be concerned for someone? I'm not as heartless as people think," James muttered.
"What do you mean, who thinks that?" the Doctor asked carefully.
"Obviously everyone. Doesn't matter, forget I said anything," James quickly said as he went to leave.
"Do you still...?" the Doctor also quickly spoke, but he was already gone. "Want me to inform you about Craig. Hmm."
A scream from the other room made him jump. Quick as a flash he ran to the source. Kes had pressed her back against the wall, like she was trying to get away from something. The Doctor rushed to her side, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Kes! Kes!" he gently shook her as she screamed again. Her eyes still wide, turned to look at him. "What's wrong?"
"What happened?" James asked as he rushed into the room as well.
"They..." Kes stuttered, her body shaking violently. "They're watching us."
Kathryn paced the work area, glaring at every particle of dust that dared to go near her. The Collective seemed smart enough to keep any of the drones away from her, all but one.
Seven of Nine's piercing voice broke the silence as she entered the room. "We must analyse the bio-ship. Your data."
"My dada!? Are you sicko Borg's not content with assimilating living people?" Kathryn snapped at her.
Without looking at the scene Tuvok calmly corrected her, "day-ta, Captain."
Kathryn rolled her eyes, "good god. I thought the Borg spoke proper English, am I wrong?"
This whole exchange rolled off the Borg drone like a tea bag on Janeway's desk. She just held her mechanical hand out for something. Tuvok quickly handed her the PADD he had been working with. She marched off without a word to a small panel on a wall nearby, Kathryn followed her like it was a coffee padd.
"You're Human, right?" she muttered, sounding calm for once.
"This body was assimilated eighteen years ago. It ceased to be human at that time," Seven of Nine replied.
"American family I assume. I'm from America, and I say day-ta. Are you a special drone that says fute-ill while the rest of the Collective say futile, while banging her head on the wall? Somebody may need putting down," Kathryn ranted.
Something she said hit a nerve as Seven of Nine swung her head toward her. "Do not engage us in further irrelevant discourse." An alarm that sounded like a frog croaking echoed down the halls. "We are being hailed by your vessel." She slammed her hand on the green panel filled with circles and text, then backed away. The screen changed to show Chakotay's face in Sickbay.
"Chakotay? Did you miss me that badly?" Kathryn said in a fake sweet voice.
He sighed in response, "yes Kathryn, I did."
This melted Kathryn's icy exterior instantly, "aaawww." Meanwhile the entire Collective reached for a Borg sick bucket.
"I may as well tell you while I got you," Chakotay said, shaking his head. "The Doctor believes the aliens are trying to access Kes' memory."
"Nosey barstewarts!" Kathryn grumbled under her breath. "They'll know everything."
"Bar stewards?" Chakotay mumbled, obviously confused.
"What, the old swear word censor system was ridiculous," Kathryn said with an innocent glint in her eye.
"Oookay, I've ordered long range scans for bio-ships. Nothing so far," Chakotay said.
Kathryn looked deep in thought, "hmm." An idea popped into her head, she turned to her favourite Borg drone. "Maybe if we alter our course to go around those boobs of yours. They'll get bored and go home, no doubt."
Seven of Nine continued to stare blankly, annoying Kathryn further. "Our course and heading have been changed."
"What the... aren't those the same things in the end, you pedantic drone! God, I bet you're a blonde." She turned back to look at Chakotay trying to keep a straight face. "Follow them, but don't look. Those things will have your eye out, or worse."
"Yes Captain," Chakotay laughed. He disappeared off the screen. Kathryn blew him a kiss anyway.
"I didn't think she could get more illogical," Tuvok said to himself.
Seven of Nine paced herself back to where he was, with Kathryn on her heels. "We now require one of your photon torpedoes and the nanoprobes."
"Ok that's it, I'm gonna rip her assimilation tubes out!" Kathryn growled, clenching one of her fists. She took a few steps back.
Tuvok again came to the rescue. "We are not safely through Borg space yet, that is not our agreement."
"We must construct and test a prototype, now!" Seven of Nine said with a hint of emotion in her voice. "The risk of attack has increased."
"We have an agreement, if we do what you wish you'll assimilate us," Tuvok said.
"Are you willing to risk a direct confrontation with us?" Seven of Nine asked him, piercing her eyes into his. "If we transport five hundred drones onto your vessel, do you believe..."
Kathryn screamed as she ran towards the drone, and attempted to tackle her. Instead she mostly bounced off her, falling straight onto the ground. "Ow, those things must be made of metal."
Tuvok tapped his commbadge, his eyebrow by now almost into his hair. "Tuvok to Voyager, prepare to beam the Captain to Sickbay." He looked at Seven of Nine, "if you'll allow it?"
"Indeed, a replacement would be more efficient," she replied.
Kathryn groaned from the floor, "more, efficient? Let me at her."
"Captain you've already been at her," Tuvok said dryly.
A different alarm went off, Seven of Nine looked up. "We are under attack."
"Commander. I'm picking up gravimetric distortions thirteen thousand kilometres starboard," Tom stuttered. He looked back at the command area, "It's a singularity."
James smirked to himself, "Chakotay isn't back yet."
Tom's eyes widened, "then who's in charge? Aaaw shhh..."
Harry piped up, "that would be me, as I'm the night shift commander."
"Ohno Harry," Tom muttered, looking backward again. "I'm the highest ranked officer here."
"Nuh uh," Harry disagreed. "Janeway picked me to take charge, she never asked you."
Tom folded his arms, scowling at his best friend. "Yeah for the night shift, nothing goes on then."
"Right, like space just stops for a single Earth timezone's night time. Get real Tom," Harry grumbled.
Jessie meanwhile plonked herself down in the Captains chair. After getting herself comfortable she decided to get the two men's attention. "Put the handbags away ladies. Tomina evasive maneuvers, Kimmy keep a lock on the awayteam. James watch the shields."
Tom and Harry shared a quick look of horror, but they realised they had no time to argue. They did as they were told.
"Why didn't James get a girly name?" Tom pouted as he worked.
"Only a non command person would be dumb enough not to get the joke," Harry commented.
The alien ship fired their own solo version of the usual beam, hitting Voyager on its starboard belly. It looked like a tiny impact but it shook the ship violently, hurtling the vessel out of warp.
The bridge was left in a cloud of smoke as a few stations had exploded. Everyone had been thrown from their positions and were now trying to get their bearings.
Tom struggled to get back to the helm, pressing some controls on the way. Voyager straightened itself up, and jumped right back into warp.
"That hit went right through our shields!" James yelled over the noise. He muttered to himself, "dunno why I'm surprised." He spotted Chakotay rushing out of the turbolift closest to him. "Shields and weapons are down."
"What the hell?" Chakotay exclaimed.
"Transporters are off-line too. If we catch up with the Borg, we may not be able to..." Harry stuttered. Chakotay threw a Janeway like glare at him, finishing him off mid sentence.
"Don't worry, we'll catch up!" Tom yelled, not looking too sure.
Harry sighed in relief, "the Borg ship changed its path, it's on its way to rendezvous."
James groaned, "leading that alien ship right back to finish the job."
"What the..." Chakotay grumbled. "Jessie, out of that seat!" This made Jessie jump a metre.
"What, you told me to keep Tom in line, right?" she stuttered. Chakotay raised an eyebrow. "I fell into it, you know during the attack."
Harry's station beeped furiously at him, "incoming!"
"Voyager has taken heavy damage," Tuvok said as he looked at a console.
Seven of Nine didn't even need to look, "Species 8472 will destroy them first. We cannot let them."
The Borg Cube flew towards Voyager, then somehow turned around to go in the same direction as it. The alien ship in dead pursuit didn't have much time to avoid it, colliding straight into the huge vessel. The Cube itself exploded seconds later.
Chakotay watched the Cube explode on the viewscreen, horror showing on all of his features. "The Cube?"
"Destroyed, and it took the bio-ship with it," Tom replied.
The intercom buzzed into life. "Tuvok to Chakotay."
Everyone looked around in confusion, Chakotay just looked relieved. "Go ahead Tuvok, where are you?"
"I'm in Cargo Bay Two. Along with the Captain," Tuvok's pained voice responded. "And a number of Borg."
"Ohno," Jessie stuttered. Now that she was standing nearby Tom, she gave him a slap across the back of his head. "Why did you follow them, idiot!"
Tom pouted, rubbing his head. "Ok firstly, ow! Secondly, you'd blame me even if I didn't do anything." Jessie shrugged, it was enough of a confirmation for him.
"We beamed over, just before impact. We require assistance."
"Tuvok. Tuvok? Secure that deck," Chakotay ordered. He headed back for the turbolift he came from. James shrugged and followed him. "Security Team One to Cargo Bay Two. Paris, you have the Bridge."
Tom smiled to himself, Harry looked on with his mouth wide open in shock. "Told you!" he sang.
"Ugh, I think I'll take my break now," Jessie grumbled.
The turbolift doors closed, Chakotay looked at who he was sharing the lift with. "What are you..."
"Secure that deck, Team One," James rolled his eyes.
Chakotay sighed, "wonderful. Just don't speak when we get there, Kathryn's already flew into another rage today."
"Shouldn't you be more worried about the Borg assimilating Neelix's food supplies?" James commented.
"Oh dear lord," Chakotay's eyes widened in horror.
The Doctor had a new patient, this time it was Kathryn who was busy swearing abuse at him. Craig stood nearby James, looking healthy but nervous. Kes was busy treating Tuvok as he sat on the bed.
"For now they're contained," Chakotay briefed him. "They've assimilated Cargo Bay Two and they're drawing energy from the secondary power couplings."
"But they've gone no further?" Tuvok questioned him.
"Not yet. I've sealed off Decks Nine through Thirteen and posted security details at every access point," Chakotay replied.
Craig took a side step closer to James, "I thought Thirteen already was?"
"Yeah, so did I," he frowned. "If I were you, I'd fake post illness."
"I suggest we increase security around Sickbay, as well," Tuvok said.
Chakotay beckoned his head towards Craig and James, "already done."
Craig sighed in relief, "looks like I don't have to. Where's the others?"
"They both rushed to the toilets when they were told, funny that," James replied.
Craig smirked into his hand, "it's probably not what you think. Neelix brought in this slop for me when I woke up, I think he called it his lunchtime soup."
"How far did you get on the weapon?" Chakotay asked.
"We're ready to construct a prototype," Tuvok replied.
Kes looked up from her medical tricorder. "You're ready to return to duty, Commander."
Tuvok slid off the biobed, watching her intently. "And you, Kes?"
"I'm all right," Kes mumbled, avoiding eye contact. "The visions have stopped for now."
"Captain, I assure you..." the Doctor stuttered as he tried to make his escape.
Kathryn forced herself halfway into a sitting position. "One button is all it takes Mister, get back here!" She fell back down on the biobed, grumbling to herself.
"Is this why they're posting Security, or rather us to Sickbay?" Craig asked, his whole body trembling.
Chakotay placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "No, you don't even have to stay inside. Outside would be better, and safer."
"It is in case the Borg penetrate Cargo Bay 2, they'll want Sickbay first," Tuvok replied.
Craig wasn't sure if he was relieved or not. "Borg, or Janeway."
"CHAKOTAY!" Kathryn screeched. "Where's my coffee pillow!"
The Doctor sighed. "The accident on the Borg ship triggered pre-mature labour."
Chakotay's face fell, "what? Can you stop it?"
"Accident? I heard she tried to tackle some Borg drone," James sniggered.
Tuvok raised his other eyebrow, resting his tired other one. Chakotay shook his head, "I'll repeat myself. Outside would be better."
James rolled his eyes. "I'd much prefer to stay here, much more fun."
Kathryn sat back up to throw a medical tricorder at him, he quickly dodged it. "Damn it!" She somehow found another one and threw that too, missing this time. "Stay still!" He ducked as one of the hyposprays almost went into his face.
Chakotay laughed as Craig backed away slowly to the exit. Tuvok decided to blank out everything.
"Better do what the lady says," Chakotay finally said.
"I don't remember Kes telling me to do anything," James commented, ducking again.
"But I told you to keep your mouth shut. Now out," Chakotay laughed.
"What the hell does that mean!" Kathryn screamed. "Are you saying I'm not a lady!?" She pulled her legs over the side of the bed, but struggled to sit back up. "I'll kill him." The Doctor quickly rushed over to stop her.
Chakotay shrugged, smiling a little at James. "Circle of life."
James shook his head. "Yeah yeah, akoonah matata. Whatever, I'll leave. Just be prepared to lose a few limbs." He turned to where Craig was earlier, but found he'd escaped already. With a shrug he followed him.
Chakotay sighed, "Harry's been watching Disney films during his bridge night shifts."
"Indeed," Tuvok agreed.
"Just make sure those Borg stay put. Keep me updated," Chakotay ordered.
"Should I continue working with them?" Tuvok asked.
Chakotay sighed again. "No, standby for now." He jumped out of his skin when he noticed Kathryn standing right beside him, facing him. Her eyes were much wider than usual, the bed hair she now had made her look even more unnerving.
"Keep working with them Tuvok," she muttered. Her hand reached out and grabbed Chakotay by the ear. "Try and get out of this alliance, and I'll pull something else. Understood!" Chakotay could only nod. "Good boy. Now you go get my coffee pillow." She turned to Tuvok, "shoot that Barbie drone in that smug face of hers." The Doctor hinted that he wanted her back on the biobed. "You piss off, you bore me too much. Get me some painkillers first." She then headed back to the biobed, passing Kes as she did. "You, have a vision of something useful and stop screaming. You sound like a banshee."
"Great, is that it?" Chakotay dared to ask.
"No. Tell James if he dares to come in here, I'll program the doctor to give him a sex op. I'll beam this kid into him, then force him to push it out!" Kathryn grumbled.
"Um... what?" Chakotay mumbled, clearly looking a bit uncomfortable.
The Doctor looked a tad horrified. "Captain, maybe you should have those painkillers."
"ABOUT DAMN TIME!" she screamed at him, before lying back down on the biobed.
"I'll give her a larger dose," the Doctor whispered to Chakotay. He nodded in agreement.
"How long do you think it'll be? I have to deal with this alliance," he asked.
The Doctor sighed, "it's too early to tell, there's only been one dilation so far. I can keep you posted if you'd like."
"That's all right. I'm sure I'll hear the progress from the bridge," Chakotay said with a half smile. He turned to leave with Tuvok.
11th March 2383
"Jesus, are you crazy woman. Crazy!?" Tom stuttered, pointing his finger. Everyone stared, wondering the same thing about him. Kathryn just rolled her eyes and punched him in the nose.
"Anyone else got any objections?"
"An alliance with the Borg. Who would object to that?" James commented.
Kathryn sighed in relief, "finally. It's about time you stop trying to piss me off."
Chakotay shook his head, "sarcasm. It's his thing."
"Oh," Kathryn said without a care. That didn't last long though. "You ungrateful son of a..."
"Uh huh," Chakotay agreed out loud. He looked worried right afterwards. Kathryn scowled at him then at James.
Harry looked uneasy, "so, why are we allying ourselves with the Borg?"
"For god's sake. I'll explain it so ickle Harry will understand," Kathryn groaned. She turned to him while everyone smirked to themselves, well mostly everyone. "Craig get sicky right, by big bad aliens. Aliens make Borg go boom. Are we following so far?"
Harry sat down in his chair, as if he was trying to use it to hide.
"Borg dumb like you. Doccy, you know who makes boo boo's go away, cures Craig with Borg stuff. Aliens have things that go fly in space, right? Stupid aliens make it probably out of their dead people. This stuff kills them so it kills their flying things. Borg too dumb to do it themselves, so we tell them. Alien ships go boom. We don't go boom and neither does Borg. Borg happy, so we don't go boom too. Get it?"
"Ok, but what's happening so far is Borg go boom," B'Elanna said. She realised what she said, then shook it off. "We haven't been in the firing line. The Borg are too busy running away or being destroyed to care about us. Why the need for the alliance?"
"Oh please, the aliens will come for us next you dumb broad," Kathryn grumbled.
"What makes you say that?" Tuvok asked.
"Anybody who coats their claws with an eat something alive virus, has to be psycho," Kathryn replied impatiently.
"I'd say the same about people who volunteers their crew to the Borg for assimilation," B'Elanna muttered.
Kathryn growled as she stamped her foot. "I said alliance, not assimilation. God, it's no wonder you can't run this ship without me. Fools the lot of you!"
"But it'll be the same result, won't it? The Borg aren't known for making friends," Neelix commented.
"True, but I don't think the Borg are known for losing either," Kes added on.
"Oh god, you're not agreeing with her are you?" James questioned.
Kes' eyes widened, "ohno. What happened to Craig was horrible, but it was an accident. Their only targets seem to be the Borg."
"Pfft, you have no evidence of that. Ironic really, considering you're whining at me for having no evidence they'll attack us," Kathryn muttered. "Think about it, this is Borg space. It's not like there's other species to choose from here, and the aliens are avoiding them. There's been no other target to get, until now. We could be passing by and they could just fly by, killing us in one shot."
Tuvok raised an eyebrow, "then perhaps we could adapt some of our photon torpedoes with these nanoprobes. Just for precaution."
Kathryn was suddenly in front of him, glaring up into his brown eyes. For once he looked surprised. "Keep your Vulcan mitts off my torpedoes. They've got to last us to Earth, you fuc..."
Chakotay butted in, "um, but that would be the answer to our problems. We don't need to help the Borg. Let them die, they'd have no problem killing us or anyone."
Kathryn's face was slowly turning red, her hands slowly went to her hips. Everyone in the room knew trouble was brewing.
Tom meanwhile pulled himself back off the floor, then tried to wipe the blood from his nose. "What did I miss?"
Everyone cringed as Kathryn turned around to face him, hands now on her hips.
"A thought Captain," Tuvok bravely came to Tom's rescue. "What makes you think the Borg won't attempt to take the information by assimilating Voyager and its crew."
B'Elanna groaned, "I pointed that out before."
"Why would they, we have Janeway," James pointed out.
"Ssshhhh," Chakotay snapped at him.
"You didn't let him finish," B'Elanna giggled into her hand. "I think he was going to say, we have Janeway to think of something."
"Well of course!" Kathryn bellowed in a I told you so voice. She went over to pat James on the shoulder, he looked at her with his eyes wide. "You know everyone else in here are stupid, but you! You get me, you do."
"Oh dear, mood swing," Chakotay said quietly.
Tom looked relieved, "anything's better than her usual one."
"Maybe you should rejoin the Senior Staff, we need another smart one," Kathryn said.
"You mean smart ass, don't you. We already have one," Chakotay muttered, glancing at Tom.
"What?" Tom innocently said.
James cringed, "don't compare me to him."
Chakotay groaned, "you're right, that was a rude thing to say. I apologise."
Tom looked confused, "no really, what? What am I missing?"
B'Elanna patted him on the arm, "it's ok Tom. I don't love you for your brain."
Kathryn clapped her hands a few times. "Okeydokey. So if Borg decide to be mean and assimilate, Doc can put all the nanoprobe info into his program. Then he will press the delete button. My plan is flawless."
The Doctor looked horrified, so did everyone else.
"Um, isn't that a bit cruel?" Kes said it.
Kathryn sighed, "yes of course, you're right. I'll delete him."
James smirked in Chakotay's direction, "so she's psycho no matter what mood she's in?"
"Uh huh," he could only mumble in response.
"So Tommy, set a course for the nearest Borg ship you can find," Kathryn ordered, smiling sweetly.
Tom looked uncomfortable, "really, we're doing this?"
B'Elanna sighed, "it would seem so."
"Ok, that's that. Get out," Kathryn said, still smiling.
Everyone headed for their nearest door, each giving the Captain their own she's crazy glance. Chakotay however stayed behind.
"Oh Chuckles, here really?" Kathryn giggled. She made her way over to him, smiling suggestively.
"Um..." Chakotay mumbled, his eyes widening. "No that's not why I'm still here."
Kathryn pouted, "aaw, shame. So what's up my angry warrior?"
"Well this small tiny, thing. It's nothing really," Chakotay replied. "Alliance with the Borg, mainly just that."
"We've been through this, the aliens are nasty," Kathryn said.
Chakotay sighed, "it's far more likely that the Borg tried to assimilate them, and this is their response. The Borg have killed and probably assimilated so many humans, why should we help them out?"
"Well, when you put it like that..." Kathryn mused to herself.
Chakotay looked relieved, "oh thank god, I really thought you'd lost it."
"... I don't really give a rat's ass," Kathryn finished her earlier sentence. Her face turned serious in a flash, her fists clenched. Chakotay looked very worried. "We're doing this cos I'm the Captain, and I won't be giving birth to some wussy warrior's kid while the aliens decide to target us. Do you understand or do I have to talk in pre-school speak again?"
"Wow, mood swing mid sentence," Chakotay commented. "Look, this is way too risky."
"Oh, so if I do something you don't like, it's a mood swing," Kathryn snapped.
"There's a story I heard as a child, a parable, and I never forgot it," Chakotay said quickly, hoping he wouldn't get interrupted
Obviously he wasn't fast enough. "Are you trying to get into my pants again? I'm eight months pregnant you sicko!"
Chakotay's eyes widened, "what, I've never done that."
"Pfft, how dumb do you think I am?" Kathryn grumbled.
Chakotay tried to shake it off. "A scorpion was walking along the bank of a river, wondering how to get to the other side."
"Lazy asshole should just learn to swim, I take it the scorpion is you," Kathryn grumbled.
"Suddenly he saw a fox. He asked the fox to take him on his back across the river," Chakotay continued on, despite her.
"He told him to piss off?" Kathryn butted in.
Chakotay soldiered on, "the fox said no. If I do that you'll sting me, and I'll drown."
"Oh, so he's a big wet blanket. The fox is you, and so's the scorpion. I'm confused," Kathryn said.
"The scorpion assured him, if I did that, we'd both drown," Chakotay continued.
"Jeez, if I pretend to swoon will you shut up?" Kathryn muttered.
"So the fox thought about it and finally agreed. So the scorpion climbed up on his back, and the fox began to swim," Chakotay continued.
Kathryn groaned, "you should be the series writer, your grammar's atrocious. So, so."
Chakotay continued, "but halfway across the river, the scorpion stung him."
"Thank god, they both die. I'm liking the story now," Kathryn grumbled.
"As the poison filled his veins, the fox turned to the scorpion and said why did you do that? Now you'll drown too," Chakotay continued.
"And then the scorpion found the true meaning of peace, or some crap like that?" Kathryn groaned.
"I couldn't help it, said the scorpion. It's my nature," Chakotay finished.
"Is this the part where I'm supposed to take my top off?" Kathryn muttered, shaking her head.
Chakotay groaned, "I'm not trying to chat you up!"
"Sure," Kathryn groaned. "Good lord, I thought you were trying to keep me off coffee."
"Look the point was that the Borg's nature is to assimilate and destroy. They'll do that to us, no matter what the situation," Chakotay said.
"Then I'll just erase the Doc's program. I really doubt assimilating some of us will tell them how to do it themselves, everyone here are idiots," Kathryn grumbled.
"Yes about that. Threatening the Doctor like that. If the information was stored in a crewmembers brain, would you fire the phaser?" Chakotay asked.
Kathryn stuck out her bottom lip, rolling her eyes half way. "Tom's really been pissing me off lately. That is a good idea, Chuckles. Tell the Doctor to prepare an implant. He can just move the information into it."
"Uh, so the point of deleting the Doctor is? We could just delete the data," Chakotay muttered. "You just want to be dramatic, don't you?"
"Well no, they'll assimilate the Doctor's program. Then use him to get the nanoprobes info. Dumb ass," Kathryn groaned.
"Well he can't do anything if we delete the data for the aliens," Chakotay said.
Kathryn narrowed her eyes at him, "god fine! We're still doing the rest of it!"
"The alliance, killing Tom?" Chakotay questioned.
"Finally, we're talking some sense!" Kathryn snapped at him.
Chakotay sighed, "this is a big mistake. As long as you know that, I've done my job. I'll still have to follow your orders."
"Wow aren't we good at stating the bloody obvious. Now get to it, that implant won't get into Tom's small brain on its own," Kathryn grumbled.
"Just remember what I've said when you and our baby gets assimilated, along with the rest of the crew," Chakotay muttered as he went to leave.
Kathryn growled at an empty room, clenching both of her fists.
The senior staff sat or stood around the bridge, staring in Chakotay's direction. He paced the bridge, discussing the situation.
"The Borg want us to turn back around to meet up with a sphere, that's a week away. It's too risky," he said. "However Kathryn's wanting feedback every ten minutes, so if I don't update with something in the next two she'll..."
Tom shifted in his chair uncomfortably, "you don't have to tell us."
"Ten minute updates won't say that much. All I suggest is Tuvok reporting in some of the specs he's still working on. She won't care about that," B'Elanna suggested.
Chakotay nodded, "good plan. In the mean time, somebody should bring that female drone to the Ready Room."
Tom's face perked up, "oh, why?"
Unfortunately for him, B'Elanna was standing right next to him. She stamped on his foot. "Perv."
"Do you really think it's a good idea to be inviting a Borg drone to the bridge?" Jessie asked, shifting in her seat uncomfortably.
"Why not, we've had Janeway on the bridge," B'Elanna smirked. "But seriously, what's the plan?"
"We're gonna give them the nanoprobes," Chakotay blankly replied. Everyone's mouth dropped open, eyes were widened, well everyone but Tuvok. "We'll drop them off on the nearest uninhabited planet, and take our chances alone. They can wait for a Borg ship to pick them up and finish the weapon. I'm in command now and I have to do what I think is best for this crew." Everyone stared at him in silence, not believing their ears. "Tom, you know what to do."
"Um, aye sir," Tom mumbled.
"I must caution you, Commander. The Borg may not go quietly," Tuvok stated.
"They're getting what they wanted, why wouldn't they?" Chakotay said. "Everyone, get to it." He watched as mostly everybody went back to their stations, or left the bridge. Satisfied he headed to the Ready Room. Catching his eye on route was Jessie, who still was staring blankly in his previous position. "Jessie?"
"What?" she mumbled, without averting her gaze.
"Got something on your mind?" Chakotay asked.
Jessie breathed a big sigh. "You know when you said you want to do what's best for the crew?"
"Yes, I vaguely recall," Chakotay muttered.
"Hmm." Jessie climbed to her feet, still avoiding eye contact with him. "You're a fool, you'll kill us all."
"Excuse me?" Chakotay snapped at her.
Jessie shook her head, "you're not deaf are you?" She slowly walked over to the turbolift, Chakotay followed her only with his eyes.
Tom's whole body shook, "woah. Is it just me or has she turned ultra creepy in her time off?"
Chakotay stared at the back of his head, deep in thought.
"She's only had James for company for the last few months. What do you expect," Harry commented. Chakotay shook his head as he stepped into the Ready Room.
Tom sighed, "she's right though. What a way to piss off the Collective."
The Ready Room:
Chakotay paced himself around the desk, keeping a good distance away from the Borg drone. "Once we've beamed you to the surface we'll send down the nanoprobes and all our research."
"Unacceptable," Seven of Nine blankly said. She turned around to face him. "We don't have time for..."
"This isn't open for discussion. I'm not turning this ship around," Chakotay butted in. "You're getting what you wanted. I suggest we part ways amicably."
Seven of Nine watched him closely as his attention turned to the padd in his hands. "There is another option. We could assimilate your vessel."
This got the Commander's attention, "if a single drone steps one millimetre out of that Cargo Bay. I'll decompress the entire deck. You won't pose much of a threat floating in space." The drone stared at him coldly, as if she was scanning him.
The intercom chirped, breaking the silence. "Janeway to Chakotay. You're late for that ten minute report. Don't make me come up there and tear that stupid tattoo off your forehead!"
Chakotay groaned, tapping his commbadge. "I was just about to call you, I'm not late."
"You're now twenty one seconds late, Ensign Chakotay. Right that's it..."
The Doctor's voice chimed in, "Captain you're in the middle of a dilation, you can't go now."
"I'm sorry Captain. There isn't anything new to report, Tuvok's still working with Seven of Nine. Chakotay out," Chakotay said. He tapped his commbadge quickly. "I think I may join you in the Cargo Bay when we open the doors."
"So humans do not even follow their prided chain of command. Interesting. It is a wonder you haven't made yourselves extinct yet," Seven of Nine said.
"Escort our guest back to the Cargo Bay," Chakotay ordered.
The two Security guys behind the drone nodded nervously.
"Well, I've made my decision," Chakotay said softly.
All he got was silence.
"If it were only a matter of going against the orders of my superior officer," he continued.
The silence also continued.
"You're more than just my Captain, you're my friend, and I hope you'll understand." The Commander grew impatient as he was still getting no response. "I'm done."
James pulled a face, then gestured his head at the door he was guarding. "No."
"What do you mean, no? I'm your commanding officer," Chakotay grumbled. "Get out of the way."
"Yeah but I'm allowed to ignore rank if it's for the safety of the crew, so... tough," James replied.
Chakotay sighed, relaxing his shoulders for the first time in days. "Is it that bad?"
"You basically said I did what I wanted, but it's ok we're best buddies so you won't mind," James said, pulling a face again. "We'd have a mad pregnant woman charging down the corridors, armed with tricorders."
"Well it was better than telling her, her other plan was batcrap insane," Chakotay said awkwardly.
"True but at least it's an explanation," James said.
Chakotay rubbed the back of his neck. "What about telling her it was the Borg's idea?" James shook his head. "Kes had a vision of the Borg double crossing us?"
"Has Kes even left Sickbay?"
"No," Chakotay groaned. "Look, just let me in. She's going to check in with me via the comm in two minutes anyway. At least this way I'd be there to be the first target."
"We could just beam her into the Cargo Bay when you tell her the truth. Then she'll just take out the Borg, problem solved," James commented.
"Oh for..." Chakotay groaned into his hand. "What kind of idea is that? Send in someone to take the dozen drones out, and hope the Collective will be fine with it. Then go on our merry way like nothing ever happened."
"How's that any different than sucking the drones into space?" James questioned, raising his eyebrow.
The intercom butted in, "Paris to Chakotay. We've arrived at a small planet, it should be ok for the Borg to camp on."
Chakotay tapped his commbadge. "Good, take us into orbit. Tuvok, when they're gone get a few Security teams to do a sweep of the Bay. I don't want any unpleasant surprises left behind."
"You mean something like a flaming poop bag, or something bigger like Terminator of Nine?" Tom snickered.
"That makes no sense. Seven of Terminator makes more sense in that..." Harry said. His station started beeping madly.
"No, no. Mine means it's the terminator of the group of nine. Yours would mean that boobs is one of nine terminators, or it's also called Seven and we had a group of them on the ship," Tom rambled on.
"Uh, what's that?" Jessie asked as her own station started beeping.
"What, what?" Chakotay's voice asked.
"Tom no, if that was what it meant that drone would have been called Seventh of Nine, jeeze," Harry groaned.
"That's a stupid name," Tom muttered.
"You're stupid," Harry grumbled.
Jessie groaned into her hand. "The deflector's gone screwy, or does no one care?"
Tuvok raised an eyebrow, "screwy?"
"Looks like the emitters have been changed, I dunno. There's a lot of power being fed into it," Jessie said.
Tuvok worked quickly at his own station, "the commands are coming from the Cargo Bay."
"Damn it," Chakotay snapped. "You, get Craig and sort that out."
"Didn't you have five teams guarding Cargo Bay Two?" James questioned.
Chakotay sighed, "you two are the only ones that have names. Somebody depressurise Cargo Bay Two, now!"
"Yes Commander," Tuvok responded.
"No it's not, it's a group of nine. What else do you think the nine is for?" Tom's voice snapped. "Seven of Nine people, duh!"
"Then she would be Seventh, I told you, or Seven out of Nine. You're wrong," Harry's voice grumbled.
"Ok, the deflector's just chucked out a gravitation beam," Jessie's voice said. "Uhoh."
Chakotay lost his patience, "uhoh what? Do you even know how to use that station if it isn't running Pacman?"
James stepped backwards to open the door, "er Janeway. Chakotay tried to dump the Borg, and now they're pissed."
"WHAT!?" Kathryn's voice shook the ship.
Chakotay narrowed his eyes, "why, why?"
James stepped out of the way of the door. "Why not?"
A pair of hands flew out of the doors, grabbed Chakotay by the scruff of his neck. He disappeared a second later, the doors closing afterwards. All that could be heard was a woman's scream, and lots of crashing.
Craig walked around the corner, holding two trays of food. "Hey you were right, Tom does have a lot of rations." He jumped at one of the crashes. "Woah?"
"Chakotay cancelled the Borg alliance," James said as Craig handed him one of the trays.
The boy's face turned slightly paler, "oh."
on the Bridge:
Everyone was cringing as they could hear the whole commotion in Sickbay, over the comm.
"Why is that still going?" Jessie asked.
Tuvok looked up briefly, "a single drone has survived."
"The terminator I bet," Tom commented. Harry rolled his eyes.
"What do think Chumpatay, do I look understanding? DO I LOOK UNDERSTANDING!" Kathryn's voice screeched.
"Kathryn please, they were leading us into a trap," Chakotay's voice whimpered. "No, anything but that!"
"They're Borg, they have drones on our god damn ship. Why would they need to lure us to a Cube you dumb sh..."
Everyone looked disappointed, then turned to Tuvok. He raised an eyebrow. "It was a distraction."
Tom pulled a face, "yeah?" He pointed at the viewscreen, on it was what looked like a close up of one of Neelix's soups. "And?"
"We seemed to have crossed an interdimensional rift," Tuvok said.
"We're not in Kansas anymore," Tom commented.
"Good god. Can I beam him into Sickbay, Tuvok?" Jessie grumbled.
Tuvok raised another eyebrow. Tom looked a little cocky, "Jess, Tuvok's way too logical for that."
"Our deflector's been burnt out, we have no navigation," Jessie said.
"Indeed. The Doctor may need extra help in Sickbay," Tuvok said.
Tom's eyes widened, "wait, what?"
"Mr Paris," Tuvok ordered.
"Wh.. what?" Tom stuttered. He looked at Jessie, she gave him a little wave with an evil sparkle in her eye.
Captain's Log Stardate 51, er 47... oh for god's sake, erm, only five bloody cm's, point three. As Chakotay's the biggest dumbass since Tom asked me if I was having twins, I've took command again. The stupid prick of an EMH won't let me leave though. The crew have been working on some upgrades to the shields, Tuvok's still working with the Bratz doll on the weapons. I've been told a few of the alien ships are on their way, I'm going to kick the little crapheads to the Alpha Quadrant and back.
Seven of Nine stepped off the turbolift, with a few nervous Security guys not following behind her. She eyed the command chairs with a blank stare, then turned to look towards Tuvok.
"Captain Janeway relieved the Commander of duty," he answered.
Sitting in his chair was the Commander. His wrists were tied together with what looked like shreds of his own uniform, the left hand was also tied to the arm of the chair. Sleeves from his uniform were ripped away. On the tattoo-less side of his forehead the words Ensign Dumb Bitch were scribbled in red. His mouth was forced open by what probably was his other torn sleeve, rolled in a small ball.
"Amongst other things," Tom snickered.
Chakotay's eyes narrowed. "Whrmmm hmm mmmm, Phmmhmm!"
"Wow, a week's worth of free rations. You're too kind, Commander," Tom smirked back at him.
Chakotay's eyes bulged, he struggled against his restraints, with no luck. "Fffghhh yhmmm!"
"I hope you don't kiss your new baby with that mouth," Jessie commented from her station.
"He'd have a hard job," Tom laughed.
"Errgh!" Chakotay groaned.
Tuvok tapped his commbadge, "Bridge to Janeway, we're ready."
"Jesus, what took so long? Was the Barbie cow in the crapper?" Kathryn's voice snapped.
"The what?" Seven of Nine muttered.
"No Captain. It took a few extra minutes for the Security team to collect her," Tuvok replied.
"What is the relevance of Commander Chakotay being here?" Seven of Nine bluntly asked.
"Hmmph. We disagreed on the mission. He needs to learn his place, so do you."
Seven of Nine accepted this a little too easily. "So you understand the situation?"
Everyone heard a crash over the intercom, they cringed at a following thud.
"Oh I don't know, let's see. You spoilt Borg brats come here, pick a fight and run crying to mummy. I come along to save your ungrateful mother..."
The Doctor's voice butted in, "Captain, you hit Kes!"
"Do you mind, I'm getting somewhere here! Oh look at me, I'm Doctor No Name. Please state the nature of the useless hologram!"
Tom laughed to himself, "oooh burn."
"Thanks for the tip London, I'll start with that stupid cheeky grin of yours! Anyway where was I? Oh yeah. And then you stupid plastic bitch scare the kid almost out of me, so monkey twit takes charge. Then he screws that up cos he wouldn't know how to command his own bowels, let alone a starship."
"Did she just call him monkey twit?" Harry asked quietly.
"That's the insult you focus on?" Jessie giggled.
"Jhmmmm, hmmm mmmm," Chakotay rolled his eyes.
"I didn't say twit you deaf mummy's boy!" Kathryn's voice screamed. "Can't a girl finish a rant these days? So yeah, the only decent thing he thinks of is to chuck the Borg bitch into space, but he fricks that up the useless dogcrap. So now we're stuck in this space cos you're a spoilt little whore. To make me feel better we're going to blow some assholes up. Now, what do you think? Do I know the god damn situation?"
Seven actually looked a bit amused in her only eye. "Indeed."
"Ok that's it, I'm going to f..."
"Captain, Species 8472 are gaining on us," Tuvok butted in.
"Oh fine! You're so impatient. Arm the new weapons and shields, god!"
Tuvok frowned, "I'm the impatient one?"
"So er, Red Alert?" Jessie said.
Tuvok nodded, "affirmative."
"Ugh, I haven't missed you, you smart bitch!" Kathryn snapped. "Janeway to all hands, get to your battle stations. NOW!"
Harry shook as he worked, "um... torpedo launch tubes active. Hull armour engaged. Shield enhancements stable."
Tom looked impressed, "wow, we did that in a few hours."
Jessie gave him a funny look, "we? You've spent the last couple of hours humming and playing Solitaire."
Tom turned his chair around to stare at her back. "Ha, Freecell." Jessie shook her head, smirking to herself. "Hey, there was nothing for me to do. You're just jealous of my cushy job."
Jessie sighed, "yes I'm jealous of your sad, useless self Tom. I bet you can't even finish Freecell."
"Mmmm hmmm, ghhmmm mhmmmhmm!" Chakotay added on.
Tom pointed at him, "exactly!"
Harry shook his head, "is that all you can do at the helm, when we're not flying?"
"That I'm allowed, Janeway blocked the good stuff," Tom said with a heavy sigh.
"I'm going to block your face in a minute. Evasive maneuvers!"
Tom quickly turned his chair around, "ooops."
"Four bio-ships have just entered sensor range," Tuvok reported.
"Visual range," Harry added on.
Tuvok nodded at him, he keyed in a few commands to change the view on the screen. On Voyager's tail were four of the alien ships.
"Dooo dooo dooo dooo, dun dun dun dun! Dooo dooo dooo dooo, dun dun dun dun!" Tom happily hummed to himself, eyeing the screen.
"I think all the beatings has finally given him brain damage," Harry commented.
Jessie stared at him looking confused, "Tom has a brain?"
"Tom, go chuck yourself in the airlock. Jessie, take the helm!"
Jessie looked hopeful, "what, really?" Everyone looked at her with a worried look on their faces.
"Noooooo!" Tom screamed. "I'll be quiet, I promise."
"Yes yes, and Chakotay will be competent. Just fly around, upside down, side to side, inside out!"
Tom bit his lip nervously, all he could do was nod.
"Ehhmmshmm ohmmm," Chakotay mumbled.
"Got something to say Chief!?"
"Um Captain, the aliens are talking to me," Kes's voice said.
"Yes, sure they are! I threw a medical tray at you, you'll hear all sorts of things," Kathryn's voice muttered.
"No they were talking before you did that. They say we've contaminated their realm."
"I told you we shouldn't have let Neelix cook now," Jessie said in Chakotay's direction. "Or at all for that matter."
"That's a good one, har hardy har, NOT! Who gives a crap. Tell them to back off or we'll throw Seven of Nine at them."
"You mean the torpedoes," Tuvok corrected.
"NO! Wait what, you used my torpedoes!" Kathryn screeched.
"Um, if anyone's interested. They say our galaxy is impure. Its proximity is a threat to their genetic integrity," Kes said.
"What?" Harry mumbled.
Neelix stepped out of the turbolift holding a tray with a pot sitting on it. "Leola con carne anyone?"
"They said your galaxy will be purged."
Everyone stared at Neelix. He was busy sipping at the slop in the pot, with a huge ladle. "Mmmm, chewy."
The alien ships circled Voyager, one aimed and fired.
"Shields and weapons are off-line!" Harry yelled over the usual explosions. He looked relieved, "oh and so are internal communications."
"Finally, I can talk again," Tom sighed in relief. "They're coming around for another assault. I've lost thrusters."
"Re-routing emergency power to the weapon launchers," Tuvok reported from a smoking station.
Harry turned around to look at the newly blackened station behind him. "We really have to find spare parts that don't explode at the slightest thing."
Neelix nearby cried over his pot lying on the floor, which had left a brown and green stain on the carpet.
"God damn it! Whatever happened to the evasive maneuvers?" Jessie snapped in his direction.
Tom cringed, "maybe not." He turned back briefly, "they surrounded us, ok. I'd like to see you do better."
Jessie stared blankly at the helmsman, then at Chakotay. "Maybe we can hire a helmsman that doesn't think he's driving a car."
Tom's face flushed, "oh right."
Voyager flew straight up out of the alien's weapon range, they quickly followed while going in their combined formation.
The bridge crew looked on in horror as they knew what this meant. Tuvok came to the rescue, "Bio-molecular warheads are charged and ready."
Everyone looked at Chakotay, he rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Fhrnnn."
The bridge was silent as they waited for the results. The viewscreen showed one of the ships fly in behind them again.
"Direct hit on all four vessels. No effect," Tuvok stated.
"Oh leolaroot," Tom stuttered.
"Quick, fly us one metre to the left. That'll save us," Jessie muttered.
Tom folded his arms, "that's it. If flying a starship is sooooo easy, I quit and let the genius Jessie take over."
The alien ship loomed closer to the tail of the ship, charging up its weapon again.
"TOM!" Harry, Neelix and some random crewmembers snapped. Chakotay instead made an angry muffled noise.
Tom sat down in a huff and got back to work. The alien ship froze a green colour on the spot, its path strayed off to the side like it was adrift. It soon was in thousands of bits. Everyone who saw this, sighed in relief.
"The nanoprobes were successful, if not prompt. All four bio-ships were destroyed," Tuvok said.
Harry wiped the sweat off his brow, "can we go home now?" Tom smiled and shook his head.
Tuvok turned to the Borg drone who paced the back of the bridge, stepping into Neelix's concoction on the floor.
"Ok that's just mean!" Neelix snapped with a mouthful of the stuff.
"I think it is time to return," Tuvok said with a raised eyebrow.
Seven of Nine turned on her heel, squishing more of the so called food. She used one of the stations at the back to work.
Meanwhile James and Craig stood outside Sickbay, guarding the door from an unusual crowd. They seem to be oblivious to the battle, or not concerned about it. One crewmember pushed forward, holding a padd.
"Is it a boy or a girl? My life depends on it," she asked.
A random head popped up briefly from the back. "I hope you enjoy Neelix's leola lasagne, Lisa!" The girl growled in response before being pushed to the side by a male crewmember twice her size.
"Has the kid been born with a giant bun?" he asked.
James and Craig looked at each other briefly before turning back. "Yes, it's huge," James replied. He pushed the guy to the side, but he ended up on the floor and soon trampled on. "Next?"
The head popped up again, "oh, oh so it is here. It's a boy, right?"
Craig laughed, "well actually..." James shushed him, raising his hand. "A few minutes ago, yep."
"Score!" a random crewmember yelled out from the back. He ran off into the distance. "Lileni, I was right. You owe me two days!"
"Oh, so a boy with a giant bun?" the head yelped as he appeared again. Everyone heard a grunt.
"Stop jumping on my toes!" a girl snapped from the back.
Another girl pushed forward, "does it have a tattoo?"
Craig pretended to look confused, "yeah, I was surprised too."
"I know. It looked like a tattoo of a monkey, didn't it?" James added on.
"Wow, that's one ugly assed kid," a male crewmember commented.
Craig froze as he heard the doors behind him open, so did the crowd moments later.
"Ah, I'm glad you're all here. I need some punch bag volunteers for each contraction, and while I try to push this kid out. Who is going first?" Kathryn said calmly. Her face on the other hand looked deranged. The crowd soon dispersed. Craig tried to follow but Kathryn grabbed his arm, making him squeak. "I knew I could count on you two boys."
"No, no he made me," he whimpered. James just shook his head and smirked to himself.
Kathryn turned her head to glare at him. "You know Craigy." She turned back, "look to him as an example. Watch what he does, what he says and do the bloody opposite." Again she turned to James. "And you! Did you speak to or treat your mother like this? You treat pregnant women with a tiny bit more respect and you won't get clobbered. As if it weren't for women like me, you wouldn't even be here. Whatever's making you piss me off, sort it out or I'll sort you out!"
For once James was speechless, he turned back against the wall. Craig began edging away, forgetting Kathryn's grip on him, it tightened.
"Now, now... I didn't mean do the opposite of everything he does," she said in a sweet voice.
"Yes ma'am," Craig squeaked.
Kathryn gave him a light slap across the head, "Captain, it's Captain!" She clicked her fingers, her eyes lit up. "Oh crunch time, that reminds me."
Craig rubbed the back of his head, pouting in James' direction like he wanted help. He shrugged.
"Jamesy dear, do you want to get back into my good books?" Kathryn asked, smiling her devious smile. James didn't dare look at her, or answer for that matter. It didn't matter though. "Right now that Borg bitch is on my Bridge. Smack her around a little. If she says futile wrong, correct her with a fist."
Craig's eyes widened, "punch a Borg? Wow, you're really mad at him."
James didn't seem that bothered though, he seemed relieved. "Sure, why not."
Kathryn patted him on the arm, "good boy, you do this for Mummy."
Both men stared at her with raised eyebrows, James looked more freaked though. "Mummy?" he finally said.
Kathryn put her hands on her hips, "yes! I'm a mummy. Now get Borg slapping, you hear!"
"Gladly," James mumbled to himself, walking away from the crazy Captain.
Just before he reached the turbolift doors, Kathryn looked very worried. "Oh, watch out for those implants, they're razor sharp!"
Voyager flew out of a new singularity back into normal space. Right behind them were an army of bioships. The starship cruised to its port side slightly as the armada gradually caught up with it.
"Oh my god Tom, if you fly us anymore to the side you'll kill us all," Jessie mockingly snapped.
Tom gritted his teeth, "shut up, shut up, shut up, Janeway Junior."
"Mr Kim, do we have internal communications yet?" Tuvok asked.
Harry smiled, "no sir."
"What did you call me?" Jessie growled.
"Mmmmhhh brghhheer," Chakotay added on.
Tuvok looked to Seven of Nine who was watching the viewscreen like everyone else. "I'll arm the high yield warhead, aft torpedo bay." The drone nodded like she agreed with him.
Tom groaned, "at least Janeway has a reason to be a bitch. You, you..." He didn't realise Jessie had walked over to stand behind him. "You're behind me."
"Yep," she said with a smile. The helmsman squealed as she grabbed his ear.
"Crewman," Tuvok said in a warning tone.
Jessie shrugged, "we're already flying in a straight line, what's the difference?"
Chakotay shook his head. Unable to raise his hand to do a facepalm, he just brought his head closer to his hands.
"High yield is ready, firing," Tuvok said.
On the viewscreen a torpedo went flying away from the tail of the ship. It went straight for the centre of the armada. It exploded in a sea of green which hit most of them. Moments later they all froze and exploded like the others.
"Thirteen bio-ships have been destroyed. The others are in retreat," Tuvok reported.
Seven tilted her head to the left, her eyes gazing over. "I have regained full contact with the Collective."
Harry looked at her, "and?"
"All remaining bio-ships in the Delta Quadrant are returning to their realm," Seven of Nine replied. She stood straight again, with a proud look on her face. "The Borg have prevailed."
Jessie groaned, then she let go of Tom's stretched ear. "I'm bored of this."
"Ow god," he moaned. "Wait, what did I miss?"
"If it wasn't for our Doctor and Captain you would not have," Tuvok corrected the Borg drone. She made her way to the centre of the bridge.
Chakotay tried to stand up but he still couldn't. "Mmmm hmmm, eh mhmmhmm!"
"You do remember our deal. Safe passage out of your space," Tuvok said. "We'll give you a shuttlecraft if you wish to leave."
"If, if?" Tom squeaked.
Jessie sighed, "I hope you give her the one with the biggest crash record."
"Unacceptable," Seven of Nine stated.
"Fine, but they all crash," Jessie muttered to herself, she retook her station.
"This alliance is terminated. This ship and everyone on it will adapt to service us," Seven of Nine said.
She turned on her heel to head to the helm. Tom looked on worried, he pulled out his phaser and fired it at her. The shot disappeared into her personal green shield, she didn't even flinch. "Resistance is fute-il." With barely a flick of her arm, she knocked him flying to the ground. The tubules in her arm shot out and went straight into the console.
"She's tapping into helm control. She's trying to access our co-ordinates!" Harry stammered.
"Shhhhhm, hmmm mmmm!" Chakotay added on.
"Um... I can't shut her out," Harry stuttered.
While the bridge crew were busy panicking, a figure tapped the drone on her shoulder. She glanced over to see a fist fly towards her face. The drone fell to the ground, the tubules still hung onto the console. Nobody noticed as they were still trying to cut her off.
The figure walked over, and pulled the tubules out with no trouble at all. Then he stood over the drone. "Resistance is fute-ile. Dumb cow."
"Um, we're fine," Harry said in confusion.
Chakotay looked around, spotting the drone unconscious near the helm and the person responsible for it. "Mmmm hmmmhmm?"
"What just happened?" Tom asked.
James knelt down next to the drone, "I'd ask Janeway, if I were you."
Tom sat himself up, looking very much dazed. "Woah, even from Sickbay she's a deadly force. Against the Borg, no matter."
James pulled a little implant off the drone's neck. He stood up with it, passing a brief smirk Jessie's way. "Yeah, she sure is." She smirked back at him, shaking her head.
Chakotay gestured at his hands, "mmmmhh, thmmmm, hmmm! Nmmmgh!" James looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Ghhhhhh, fmmmm hmmm."
The intercom buzzed, Kathryn's voice filled the bridge. "Chakotay, if you're quite finished screwing everything up, and getting me to fix it for you... GET YOUR USELESS ASS HERE NOW!"
"Captain please, you're scaring the baby back in," the Doctor's voice stuttered.
Chakotay quickly made a half assed hand signal to cut her off. Tuvok made his way over to remove the restraints from his hands. "Finally! All right, let's clean this up. James, get your team to help get that drone back to the Cargo Bay. We'll open the doors again."
"According to the Doc, this'll cut her off," James said, waving the implant near his face. "But ok."
Tuvok raised an eyebrow, "disconnected she could be an asset, I would recommend not killing her."
Tom snickered from the floor, "huuuuge assets."
Chakotay sighed, "somebody get him to Sickbay."
"Why? Even not concussed he talks like that," Harry questioned.
Chakotay closed his eyes, "I'm hoping Kathryn will beat him around during labour." His eyes widened, "oh god, I really should get there." He headed for the turbolift, "it was not an honour serving with you all. Goodbye." He disappeared into the turbolift.
Harry looked worried, "since we disconnected one of their drones, do you think the Borg will come and get us?"
"I'm a lot more concerned about Janeway Junior," Jessie commented. "Can you imagine?"
"Yeah, that's why I asked," Harry muttered.
Tom lay on one of the biobeds, sporting a nasty bruise on his face. He was busy telling a story to an uninterested Kes, who tried to treat him. "Then these people appeared, controlling everything with notepads, doing horrible things to me. Oh, oh and made me do things I didn't want to do."
"Tom, hold still," Kes sighed, her high patience nearing zero.
"One second I'm hitting on B'Elanna, the next a Borg's on the bridge. Dunno what that was about," Tom muttered. He raised his finger as he thought of something. Kes huffed as she tried to make him lower it again. "Oh god the yelling, everyone was yelling. Or exclaiming. There was this old guy, and ..."
"Tom, you're concussed. Hold still!" Kes snapped. "What you're saying is ridiculous, none of that happened."
"Even the bit with the Borg and me getting into her head?" Tom asked.
Kes groaned, "something got into her head, it wasn't you." She finished her treatment, then walked away shaking her head. "What series would have a first episode like that?"
The doors opened, Craig and James walked through them. Tom pointed in James' direction, "hey, who's that guy?"
Kes groaned as she prepared a hypospray. "Sorry about him, that little knock seems to have made him forget the episode." Kathryn meanwhile screamed in pain. She threw a tricorder, then an empty cup at the Doctor. Lucky for him they went straight through him.
"Probably for the best," Craig cringed. "Are we even allowed in here?"
Chakotay sighed, trying to calm down the Captain with a soothing voice. "Kathryn it's ok. It's nearly over." He turned around to look at the two new arrivals. "Yes it's fine. Kathryn is refusing to have the kid till we have a report."
Kathryn sat herself up, "hey, those two better not have a view. THEY BETTER NOT HAVE A VIEW!"
"We're still here, aren't we," Craig said quietly.
The Doctor sighed, standing back in front of her, just in case. "Captain please..."
Kathryn interrupted him by screaming again. "Damn it Craig, I told you, we don't need another James!"
James frowned, then looked at Craig who seemed to have shrunk five inches. "I'd have said something so much better than that," James said.
Tom headed for the exit, looking a little worried. "Uh Doc, you did remember to get that drug out of her system, right?"
"What? I told her to stop drinking coffee," the Doctor groaned.
Kes quickly rushed over to Tom to push him out the door. "Forget it Doctor. Tom I told you, the Captain did not inject herself with anything. That makes no sense. Now go home, get some rest."
Tom pouted when he reached the doorway, he grabbed a hold of it to stop Kes' pushing. "What if those girls try to kill me again? That hypospray was meant for me." He looked at James and Craig again. "Craig, you have a job now? Good for you." Kes groaned as she couldn't push him any further.
Craig looked confused, but he smirked anyway. "I've been in Security for months, Tom. Are you sure he's only just got short term amnesia?"
"It's not permanent," Kes muttered. She continued to push him, but he kept a tight grip.
Kathryn threw another tricorder, this time in Tom's direction. He collapsed on the spot, leaving the doors wide open.
"Oh, now he'll probably forget the entire series," Kes sighed.
Chakotay groaned into his hand. "Who cares, the report?"
"The Borg seem to be leaving us alone. Two cubes have diverted their course to keep away from us," James said.
"Who can blame them," Tom groaned from the floor.
Kathryn growled, sitting up again. Chakotay put a hand on her shoulder, "ignore him. What about the drone?"
"Almost every Security member on duty is hanging around outside Cargo Bay 2, no one's dared to go in though," Craig replied.
"Tuvok thinks we should keep her," James said, pulling a disgusted face.
Tom tried to pull himself up. "Maybe it's that time of the... er seven years. Know what I mean?"
James aimed his disgusted face at him instead. He nudged him out of the room with his foot. The doors closed immediately.
"Maybe that's what is keeping the Borg away from us. She'll know everything," Chakotay said. Kathryn screamed again, grabbing his arm very tightly. He bit his lip as the pain was too much for him.
"We're not keeping that Barbie doll!" she yelled. "Get rid of her, get out and get this thing out of me! NOW!"
"You two, wait in the office. We'll discuss this," Chakotay quickly said. "Doc?"
"Finally," the Doctor sighed.
James and Craig headed into the Doctor's office, both looking a little uneasy. Through the glass they could still see the side of Kathryn's biobed. Luckily Chakotay was standing at her right side, so they couldn't see anything graphic. They both still averted their eyes to the left side of the room.
"Do you have a bet on this?" Craig asked.
James nodded, "yeah everyone has."
Kathryn grabbed a hold of Chakotay by the scruff of his neck, and slammed his head on the side of the bed a few times. Kes ran over to try to loosen her grip on him.
"I think it'll be a girl, born with hair cos you know, it's a Janeway," Craig said, oblivious to the show he was missing. "I have lost out on the birth date though."
"Yeah I did too, but I did bet that the kid would be born during a crisis. Like Naomi," James said.
Kes managed to get Kathryn's hand off of Chakotay's collar, but Kathryn just grabbed her long hair instead. The Doctor meanwhile was yelling push constantly, making Kathryn pull harder.
"What else, that couldn't be it. Gender is a 50/50 bet, easy small rations," Craig questioned.
"I bet on a psychotic boy, cos you know... it's a Janeway," James replied.
Kathryn managed to pull a large strand of Kes' hair out. The poor Ocampan quickly backed off before she could get a new strand. Kathryn settled for elbowing Chakotay in a sensitive area.
Craig looked nervous, his eyes shifted nervously. "Shhh, she'll hear you."
"It'll probably leap from her arms at the slightest sniff of coffee," James continued anyway. Craig's eyes got wider. "She'll try to feed it decaf instead of milk, in a bottle. That'll push it into a psychotic frenzy."
"Oh god, now I don't know who I'm more scared of," Craig stuttered. "Janeway, the kid, or you."
Kathryn started screaming at Chakotay, who was lying on the floor nursing his wounded area. "Get back up you big wuss, get up! Try pushing something out of that you tattooed pansy! Then you'll know pain!"
James briefly glanced over, smirking at Craig once he looked back. "What, I'm not a Janeway."
"No, but you've got a hell of an imagination," Craig stuttered. He jumped out of his skin when something hit the glass, cracking it. He and James looked at it, then down. They saw another tricorder lying there. Neither of them dared to look up, as they knew Kathryn would have been looking at them.
"Don't think I won't do that to you!" she screamed. The Doctor tried to calm her down, but she ignored him. "You get here, get here now! You push this out for me, NOW!"
"Wow," James muttered.
"I hope she doesn't mean me," Craig stuttered.
"Kathryn, he can't do it," Chakotay said in a higher voice than usual.
"We're almost there," the Doctor said, knowing he'll be ignored anyway.
"Of course he can, he'd push once and it'll fly out. Get that boy here now!" Kathryn screeched.
Chakotay groaned into his hand, "what? No really, what?"
"Its days like this that I'm glad I'm a boy," Craig commented.
James shook his head, "so all the days where psycho Captains aren't giving birth, you want to be a girl?"
Craig pouted at him, "no! God, never mind."
The Doctor meanwhile smiled, "there, all done."
"About frickin' time!" Kathryn groaned, collapsing on the bed. Cries from the newborn filled the room, everyone else breathed a sigh of relief. Kathryn's face softened up at the sound.
"It's a girl," the Doctor said. He wrapped up the new arrival in a blanket, while Kes walked over to pick up the last discarded tricorder from the floor. "Kes?"
"In a moment," Kes mumbled. The tricorder beeped at her. "It still works." She walked over to scan the newborn, smiling as the baby watched her every move. "Perfectly healthy."
"Of course I'll want to do a full examination. In the meantime though..." the Doctor smiled. He handed the baby to her mother. Chakotay stood next to them both when the Doctor moved away.
"She's beautiful, of course," Chakotay smiled, he reached over to stroke the baby's face with his finger.
Kathryn smiled at her, then him. "I'm sorry. I didn't hurt you too much did I?"
"Don't worry about it. Times like this, you're allowed to go a little crazy," Chakotay grinned at her.
Kathryn's face turned pale, "oh god. The Borg, what was I thinking?"
Chakotay laughed, "well it worked. The aliens are gone, the Borg are leaving us alone. We'll figure out what to do with the drone later."
"Yes. We need to think of a name for this little angel first," Kathryn cooed at the newborn.
Chakotay looked over at the office. "I'll get the Doctor to look at the drone, that'll give us more time with her. What should I tell those two?" He raised a hand to beckon the two Security officers back into the room. Craig was a little more hesitant than James was.
Kathryn sighed a little in frustration. "James, what are you still doing here? I didn't tell you to knock it out and leave it alone. Get out of here."
James looked at Craig, he frowned at him and shrugged. "Fine." He walked straight out without another word.
"Er, Craig too?" Chakotay questioned awkwardly.
Kathryn still didn't look up from her baby, "no, he can stay and keep an eye on things here. Just in case. Aaw, you're such a little cutie, aren't you?"
"Oh, thanks," Craig smiled.
Kathryn finally looked up to stare at him with a raised eyebrow. "I was talking to my daughter."
"Um er, I'll guard the door," Craig replied. He was replaced immediately by a cloud shaped like himself.
Chakotay smirked briefly, his face looked full of thought. "You seemed a little... rough on James. Did I miss something?"
Kathryn looked at him like he was carrying a cup of tea, "what are you talking about?" She shook her head, "now what should we name our daughter?"
"As long as we don't name her Kenco, I'm ok with anything," Chakotay teased.
The Doctor walked up to Kes, who had been staring at the baby and new parents the whole time. "Kes? Can you keep an eye on things, while I examine our other new crewmember?"
"Sure, Doctor," she replied without even looking at him.
Concern appeared on his face, "what's wrong?"
Kes shook her head, then turned it to look directly at him. "It's nothing, Doctor. I'm fine."
"Another vision?" the Doctor questioned.
"No, it's fine," Kes replied with a smile. The Doctor nodded, he picked up a med kit and headed for the door. Kes' smile turned into a frown as she turned back to the new family. "Not exactly."
Kathryn handed the baby carefully over to Chakotay. "So, now that that's over..."
Chakotay smiled back at her, "yes?"
"I can drink coffee again, right?" Kathryn said with a smile.
Chakotay's smile fell off his face, the colour in his cheeks escaped him. "Oh erm, about that..."
First Officer's Log Stardate 51218.1: We've been Borg free for several days now. Scans suggest they're avoiding us. Most of the crew are still on edge, can't say I blame them. We've still got a long way to go before we're in the clear.
Kes made her way down the busy corridor leading to the Mess Hall. Unlike everyone else, she turned into the turbolift. Her whole body froze as the doors closed behind her.
A familiar voice spoke to her, "don't get too comfy, it's not over yet."
All she could do was stare at the figure standing directly in front of her. It was almost like looking in a mirror.
TO BE CONTINUED
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