Note: These scenes were removed to shorten the overall episode. Everything in here is mostly filler.
Cut Scene 1
Notes: The first scene was the F(V)DA introducing the Tim character that appeared in various episodes later. I can't remember if I ever named him after this was deleted, he was just an old guy. In hindsight I'm glad I removed some of his scenes as he ended up being removed from anything after B4FV3. Long and never to be told story.
Yep like the other FDA members, he was a mockery of a "celebrity". Tim was me mocking the fact that he was a manager of a pop group and dating one of them in secret. The reason I did it? He was or at least looked twice his partner's age (hence the later old jokes) and apparently the rest of the group assumed he got better treatment cos of it. Yep I have to explain it or the jokes make little sense.
"Go left, no jump... no no extend up slowly," Justin muttered. He shook his head, "maybe you should play with the invincibility setting."
"Shut up, I can't concentrate," Damien grumbled as he fiddled with a joypad. He threw it to the ground, "argh, you idiot." He smacked Justin across the head. "In those levels you can't go left, it kills you!"
"Not if you're invincible," Justin said smugly.
"Uh huh," Damien said. He pulled out a phaser and shot him in the head. "You do die still, but come straight back like nothing happened."
Justin pulled himself back up, "ow my head."
"Maybe instead it should be called Justin Pond 2," Damien sighed.
Johnny Junior and Myleene walked in to the bridge, behind them was an older guy. "Boss, great news," Myleene called out.
Damien glanced around, "well you came back, so it's not great news."
Myleene pouted, "sir, we got a new recruit."
"Ok, I don't recognise him," Damien said.
Johnny Junior walked away with a smirk on his face. "We're getting desperate sir. All our recruits either die, or they're too bland to parody."
"Now now, be nice to the new guy," Myleene said. "Guys, this is Tim. Tim, this is our boss. He can be mean sometimes."
"Boss? So I'm worse off here than I was before," Tim muttered.
Myleene shrugged, "kinda..."
Johnny Junior laughed, "you're dead right Byrne. Your clients are long dead, welcome to the twenty fourth century."
"Clients? I don't want to know," Damien muttered.
"I'm a manager, you know for celebrities," Tim said.
"Oh... annoying ones, please say annoying ones cos Junior said they were dead," Damien said.
Gareth came out of nowhere, "but sir, I thought that the crew was annoying celebs, present company excluded."
"Yes and don't kid yo... oh shut up," Damien grumbled.
Tim's eyes lit up at the sight of Gareth, "oh, does he have a manager?"
"The only boss he has is me. Now Junior, tell me how many episodes will this old guy last?" Damien asked.
Johnny Junior shrugged, "probably one or two episodes."
"Good, cos I don't like him," Damien said. Justin nearby smiled at him. "Ok I don't like any of you, that's why I don't want anymore. Remember, no more recruits."
Myleene shrugged, "as you wish."
Tim walked over to Gareth, "so do you have a proper manager? I can get you your own show and everything."
Gareth's eyes lit up, "sure! Where do I sign?"
Tim brought out a contract out of nowhere, and a pen too. "Just here."
Johnny walked into the room, "hey guys." He crashed into Tim, making him drop the contract. "Woah... who's this?"
"A sorry excuse for an annoying celeb. He's an annoying celeb maker," Damien muttered in response.
"Oh a manager? I've been needing one for a while ever since Hear'say," Johnny said.
Damien rolled his eyes, "we're in the twenty fourth century, moron."
Tim's eyes lit up again as he looked at Johnny, "here, sign my contract. I guarantee a TV show, your own stage shows and everything in no time."
"Hey sure," Johnny said.
Gareth pouted, "but I need a manager."
Johnny ignored him as he signed on the dotted line. "Great, so how should we begin."
Tim shrugged, "beats me, you're the artist. Geeze." He walked off.
"Huh?" Johnny stuttered.
"Yo, dad... he's probably one of..." Johnny Junior said.
Damien interrupted him, "ok enough. We're on an important mission here. I don't want anymore screw ups, so all of you get out."
"All of us?" Justin stuttered.
"Yeah, all of you are screw ups," Damien said.
"No we're not, we're a very good crew," Justin said.
Johnny rushed after Tim, "I don't get it, I thought as my manager you're suppose to help me."
"Oh you signed the basic contract. Basically you pay me to do nothing," Tim said. He held up the contract. "If you want me to do anything, you need an up to date one."
Johnny Junior sighed, "I thought so."
"Oh all right, as long as I don't have to pay anymore," Johnny muttered.
"Nope, no extra charge," Tim said.
"What's the catch?" Johnny asked.
"Here it comes," Johnny Junior muttered.
Tim started staring at Johnny funny, "well I kinda think I am a catch, if you know what I mean."
"I don't get it, you're the catch. I'm paying for you," Johnny grumbled.
"Oh brother," Johnny Junior groaned.
Tim wrapped an arm around him, "you know the deal right, if I'm happy, you're happy."
"Uh... look I'm married," Johnny stuttered as he raised his left hand.
Myleene was busy staring at the display, "oh damn it, he's gay."
Gareth glanced at her, "don't say you like him."
Myleene smiled sweetly, "I take what I can get sweety. Speaking of, have I hit on you yet?"
"ENOUGH!" Damien screamed at the top of his voice, startling everyone. "You know I'm really close to throwing all of you out of the airlock. I'm never going to be a feared evil leader with slaves like you."
"You recruited us sir, well except for the newbie," Gareth pointed out.
"Yes I did but there's a good... aargh, shut up," Damien grumbled. He smacked him over the head with the phaser. "This is how things are going to work from now on. Tim, you'll be managing the toilet cleaning..."
"Ok sir, most of the crew have that job. Nobody can use the toilets cos they're always being cleaned," Gareth said.
"Gareth, Mister Stater of the Obvious, you can be the counsellor. I'll lock you in your own office, how's that," Damien said.
The console Damien was playing on before started beeping. Justin looked over at it, "sir, we're nearing Voyager's co-ordinates."
"Oh fine, forget all that," Damien sighed. Tim sighed in relief. "Ohno mister, I didn't mean you. Get going. The last thing I want is more people making eyes at someone else."
Johnny shuddered as Tim left the bridge in a sulk. "I'm so glad I didn't sign the other, no way I could cheat."
"I tried to warn you," Johnny Junior muttered. "And you can't cheat in your marriage, you married yourself."
"Maybe he's bi, then I could sign that contract," Myleene said with a sneaky grin on her face.
"Don't even think about it. Oh wait you're Myleene, you can't think. Screw that," Damien said. "Now it's time for plan B folks, just leave it all to me again and we should have no problems."
Cut Scene 2
Notes: I haven't a clue where this one was, but it looks like it was just a few lines cut from an existing scene to shorten it. I was making fun of the annoying gag in Pokémon at the time. It's funny reading this again as I haven't watched the show in so many years.
"Yes, maybe we should catch up with the new. Why don't we imagine a dodgy cartoon version of our boss, us giving him Pokémon, then make some stupid reason why he'd like them, him praising us. Then we stop daydreaming and cheer, even know it's a stupid idea," Myleene said. Everyone stared blankly at her. "Well that's what Team Rocket, well more or less is doing now. Sometimes the other members are not convinced."
"And then the idiot slaves get blasted off into the sky, sounds great," Damien smiled evilly.
Cut Scene 3
Notes: The last scene was my version of the Future's End scene where Neelix and Kes watch the TV. It definitely dates the original episode, it took me a while to figure out what shows they were talking about. One of them I didn't realise the UK "ripped off" only a few years ago, Gogglebox I believe it's called.
Harry stepped in and joined Kes & Neelix by the wall panel. They were watching numerous TV channels at once. "Report," he said.
"We've got the computer searching through all media broadcasts for any words that may indicate Voyager or the awayteam," Kes said.
"Anything so far?" Harry asked.
"Not yet, but we have found some intriguing televised broadcasts," Neelix replied. He pressed a button, the screen showed just one channel.
"Hey, is that Fox?" Harry questioned.
"Yes, interesting isn't it. This is called a reality TV show, this one monitors two couples watching American TV for two weeks straight," Neelix replied.
"So basically you watch other channels on this show, and Fox get all the ratings?" Harry questioned.
Neelix nodded, "it appears the Fox Network is amazingly dumb but at the same time smart even back in this century. That didn't make sense did it?"
"No," Kes and Harry replied.
"What else is on?" Harry asked.
"Oh, on a British channel there's a drama show about a cheating plastic surgeon, he makes out with all of his patients," Neelix replied.
"Wow, put it on," Harry said.
Kes groaned, "next time, I choose the channels."